This website is dedicated to horror movies (independent and mainstream), beer, Full Moon, Spookies, Graveyard Shift, Leprechaun sequels, massacre films and watching every god damn horror film ever made or die trying!
This energetic, talented actor, director, overall cool human being has been one of my favorite and possibly most interesting people I have had the pleasure meeting over the years. You may know him from one of the best Indy “massacre” films ever made in “Pool Party Massacre”. But he also has parts in recent projects such as: The Barn 2, Amityville Hex, Scare Me, and Slashlorette Party as Grossfest is honored to have Drew Marvick as a guest.
This talented newcomer to the filmmaking community busted onto the scene with a film not only shot on video but prefers the process and has already carved a niche into the scene with their first big project “Spirit Animal”. Now they are about to rock the boat of Indy filmmaking again with their latest “Bathtub Shark Attack”! I dare you to say there is a bigger supporter of SOV films and shark films out there? So with great pleasure we will be having Madeline Deering as a guest.
This filmmaker is a quiet, talented fellow that I have known for many years and have had the pleasure watch him grow and learn with his films. I get super excited when this individual has a new release because I know it’s gonna be gory, fun, and possibly a little disturbing. He might be best known for such titles: Welcome to Deer Creek, Tonight You Die, What’s Wrong With Mom?, and Happy Hour Holocaust . But the I believe the Indy world is about to be blown away by this filmmaker’s most complete feature to date with “Then My Mind Walked Away” as we enjoy knowing Jim Roberts will be joining Grossfest as a guest.
Now this dude is excellent and his career has spanned a few decades where he started in a little role for a little film called “The Dead Next Door”. From there he was in such titles: Robot Ninja, The Sandman, Polymorph, Killer Campout, Frames of Fear 3, Deathboard, Hell Van just to name a few. But recently has really made an impact as a director with titles: Her Name is Christa and Brimstone Incorporated! We believe Grossfest fans will enjoy his presence and we are happy to announce James L. Edwards as a guest.
Now yinz know we cannot have a Grossfest unless we have this individual as a guest? This director, actor, producer, has given Indy fans such fun titles as: Basic Slaughter, The Slasher Hunter, Everyone Must Die!, Super Task Force One, and then showed off his talent even more when he broke through with not just his “Meowy” series but his “CarousHell 1 and 2” breaking into the mainstream! This multi-talented star is on the edge of going global but always has time for us folks at Grossfest as usual we enjoy knowing we have Steve Rudzinski as a guest.
Over the past decade Mr. Clevenger has had a variety of roles through several Indy projects but also is a director, producer, etc. It isn’t often someone can make waves with one Indy film project and if I could point out a film that in our opinion is why we wanted him as a guest for Grossfest it is his first directed feature 2018’s “People to Kill” starring the very talented Erin Ryan. That film stands out big time when we discuss independent films over the years and take our word on it… It will stick with you as you get to meet this very cool individual who we are happy to have as a guest at Grossfest, Mr. Adam Scott Clevenger.
2 Cool 2 Geek the Film (YouTube) – A no budget film that documents two guys (Old School and 50-K) who have a web series and these guys have gotten big enough Spike TV is gonna pick the show up. Spike TV arrives to start filming and follow these two around until their buddy of the show Youngblood is kidnapped and of course hijinks ensues. There are cops, way too many comic book conventions, talk of sex slaves, way too much Sonic the Hedgehog worship, a bat on a string, and a Swedish exchange kid that cannot wait to do cosplay. This project is from Craig Blake and Adam Stern, so if you have enjoyed such films as Doug Waugh’s “Trash Juice”, “The Wet Ones” from “Wig Wolf”, or Addison Binek’s “Magnum Opus: The Movie” this chaos will be up your alley as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Valentine Bluffs: My Bloody Valentine Fan Film (YouTube) – ‘Fan Film’… let’s start there because that to me is always gonna be a tough sell especially a sequel to horror fans’ favorite over the years and there was only one movie, never a sequel. I am not opposed, I might be old thinking on this, but I always felt when you do see that term your expectations are already lowered right or wrong as a viewer. Anyhow it has been 40 years since the original killings of Harry Warden/Axel and the town of Valentine Bluffs has spent a lot of time healing and not talking about the legend. But two things are happening that will possibly rip the town apart again as it has barely kept alive this long. First, is TJ and Sarah’s son is heading to the small town looking for his father and second is the mayor (Lloyd Kaufman) who has come up with a gimmick for the closed mine “Harry’s Bloody Attraction” that most are not too keen on the idea. As you watch the film, filmmaker Tom Smith (pretty much his first feature) tries to connect certain things to the original to keep fans interested. Once TJ’s kid comes rolling into town the small town murders begin to happen again and without giving too much away Tom Smith tries to give answers to what may have happen after the first film. Now I know there are some fans of this film already but this is how I seen it right or wrong it’s just an opinion. But here we go folks: I felt the pacing was off and the buildup to the end was slow. The production looked great, you had a location, but in my mind what you did in the last five to ten minutes of the movie should have been expanded or made more of the plot point of the film. Because I think you can’t get away from the ending of the first film without explaining what happen to Axel so it sucks fans in. Second, I understand the appeal of Lloyd Kaufman as the mayor but anymore he only brings humor and not a sense of seriousness to the role that I believe was key for this project to work. Clearly you had a mine location I just felt you should have used it more as the last five/ten minutes felt great compared to what came before it. Again why it will always be tough to do a project/sequel to such an iconic film “My Bloody Valentine” of horror fan lore, so let the hate mail role in but anyway if anything filmmaker Tom Smith has my attention as I am curious where he goes with his second or third feature length film as I give this 2 out of 4 stars.
Good Old Days (Dropbox) – A short film where we have a beautiful summer-like day for three young ladies to take a bike ride to the field of a drive-in. Enjoying a great time and wanting a picture of it they get something they weren’t looking for and that is a sadistic couple with video cameras! But the best scare yet to happen. The five minute short is too the point, professional, and the ending will make yinz savor the entertainment you just witnessed as I got to give Zane Hershberger’s and Bridget Murphy’s project 4 out of 4 stars.
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 2 – (Full Moon) – We are introduce to the sorority that has been trying to get from under the past of the strange murders at the bowling alley with a new set of sorority sisters wanting or needing more pledges or the house charter will be taken away. Kelli Maroney the sorority mother tries to put a stop to any thinking of the young ladies doing something stupid but they do it anyway as the sorority sisters and pledges head to the bowling alley to once again steal the bowling trophy. Remember it is about tradition so they are trying to restore it by unleashing the evil imp again! It’s cheesy, stupid fun, and has a few fun cameos. Is it the original B-movie madness some of us nuts loved 30-some years ago, probably not but they were smart to not reinvent the concept and go with what works as new Full Moon fans should enjoy this one as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Doppelganger (YouTube) – A Matt Diulus short film that deals with a man that falls into his dream world meeting another version of himself. What sets this idea a part from some others that might sound familiar is the music as it sets the tone for what happens as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.
Victim No More – A Friday the 13th Tribute Film (YouTube) – Written and directed by a person some Indy fans may know from Ramsteer Films from several years ago, Bob Heckman. In this project Mr. Heckman tackles of course the Jason Voorhees legend. A young man Robbie who is talking to his therapist wanting to prove to his mother that Jason is long dead along with the Camp Crystal Lake serial killer legend. All Robbie wants is to put this behind him and be able to live a normal family life as his mother was a survivor of these Camp Crystal Lake bloodbaths many years ago. Meanwhile a young couple is exploring the woods in search of the legendary stomping grounds of Jason believing he has been long gone since 1984 (if you are listening to their conversation). But to the surprise of all three the ghost of Jason is very much alive and still stalks these woods. I gotta give Mr. Heckman credit for the cast, a solid story, and of course the location and keeping this fan film at 40 minutes. Really felt it didn’t allow the film to get dull. To be honest I am surprised there haven’t been more real attempts of this universe by fans? Now is there something for me to pick at, yes, but they are small things: What happens at the end (without spoiling it) thought there could have been a little more subplot there to sprinkle in but that would have made the film much longer. Also Jason… love the look (Part 6 undead/part seven rotting Jason) but felt like a much bigger person or more opposing person (CJ Graham perhaps) should have been in the suit. Overall Mr. Heckman had a budget to check off everything a “Friday the 13th” would want from a fan film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Curious to see if an idea like this would cross over into a bigger Hollywood budgeted version of “Friday the 13th” or will we always stay in limbo with projects like this?
Then My Mind Walked Away (DVD) – One of my favorite Indy filmmakers of all time Jim Roberts has a new project coming to haunt fans as he introduces us to Logan Hill. Filming during COVID, Jim took full advantage of not much crew, not much cast, and the world changing. In the first couple tense minutes the dark tone of the film is set as Logan beats to death his girlfriend and the man she was cheating on him with in bed with a baseball bat. Logan now forced to get rid of the bodies is also quickly faced with visions of horror after the fact. He is soon haunted constantly by a dark figure and visions of himself killing himself constantly. As time passes Logan is going nuts as the young man’s visions get more vivid and real. But when Logan thinks he has completely lost his mind he is shocked by a secret from his family’s past! Trying not to spoil this intense and beautiful film of Jim Roberts, but anyway how to explain it as gore and Jim have gone hand and hand since the beginning. This film has the gore but Jim doing a 180 has only made it a set piece in this feature as this talented bastard may have made the most complete film of his career! And that is coming from someone who absolutely loved “Welcome to Deer Creek” and “Tonight You Die”. This project felt like Jim got out of his comfort zone (now I could be wrong of course, lol), kept it simple, and made something that will surprise Indy fans as this is possibly the best Indy film that I will watch in 2023 (there is a couple releases yet coming). It was a serious film from beginning to end! Everything about this film with the help of Karen Roberts, Jorge Delarosa, and bare bones crew should be proud as the look of this film was beautiful, the natural sounds outside of the music caught in the background, and bare bones cast all played a role in making this wonderful. If I need to say anything else that will make you the movie viewer drool over or run to get this once available is I have a saying about filmmaking: “I am not a filmmaker that would be insulting to actual talented filmmakers, I just know where the record button is…” In this case Jim Roberts is truly one of those talented bastards as I give this movie 4 out of 4 stars!
Results (YouTube) – A short film project from Austin Muratori that has a young man dealing with some depressing and shitty medical news. Without talking to family first this man makes a heartbreaking decision. There is a small twist in this depressing, effective, good short film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
Half a Mind (YouTube) – A cautionary tale of futuristic brain surgery and what good or bad can come of it. The short film looks wonderful and a great setup or trailer for a feature length film that all was missing was Rutger Hauer in a leather jacket and sunglasses in the background of the dinner scene as I give this Buzz Meade short 3 out of 4 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Terror Squad (VHS/YouTube) – This 1988 forgotten action gem falls into the category of “it’s so bad it is fucking wonderful”. The film opens with a rally of sorts and people saying, “Death to America”, (sounds familiar but it’s the Libyans)… Yes the folks who seem to be the bad guys of the 80s for most action flicks. Anyhow, the terrorist army and I mean four of them cross a small body of water over the Canadian border into small town Indiana. Their evil goals are takeover or destroy a small nuclear power plant in this small town. Well that plan goes south quickly and the other three wait in the car to watch so authorities can start chasing them through this small town for over 35 minutes that includes town sheriff Chuck Connors in a Brooklyn Dodgers jacket in which the car chase turns into a murderous rampage! But back to Chuck Connors for a minute as I am watching this flick and after the car chase is done and the terrorists decide to hold the local high school detention hall as hostages he is wearing this jacket while negotiating for the hostages. Now no one else in frame is wearing a jacket including our favorite “Dawn of the Dead” actor Ken Foree! So what is the point of this? Is there some kind of symbolism that I am missing? Why am I so fascinated by this even though Chuck Connors was like an actual college basketball star which made super focus that much more on him wearing this jacket? I mean for the love of Rutger Hauer he is the fucking sheriff but come on people is this in his contract somewhere? Because here is the thing I have watched a few late-80s films starring Chuck Connors and this fucking jacket appears randomly for no reason… I NEED TO KNOW! So back to the review kids: first half of the movie car chase with terrorists and having dumbest Hollywood police force since “Smokey and the Bandit” and second half of movie Libyans take hostages in a high school detention hall with Chuck Connors blurting out a few times, “We don’t need the FBI!” Yep, got it, good, because this film was entertaining as hell and had me laughing for days so it gets 3 stars folks!
Catch the Heat (DVD/YouTube) – Or by some chance you are watching the Australian version of the film it is called “Feel the Heat”. It is 1987, an action film with an Asian federal agent undercover named Cinderella Poo kicking ass against the likes of Rod Steiger, Brian Thompson, and Professor Toru Tanaka! (I am pausing a minute for those of you that don’t understand and the others went looking immediately for this film on their phones or nearest streaming sites to start watching NOW!) Okay kids for those of you that are still reading not knowing who those people are thank you for being younger than me and giving a shit by reading the rest of this review. An uncover federal agent named Checkers heads from San Francisco to Buenos Aires to track down the big boss that is sending large shipments of drugs to the US and getting fine women’s breasts butchered… Here she gets close to the big boss man by being a dancer who is looking to move up to Hollywood. One by one she fucks bad guys’ asses up to bring down Hannibal aka Rod Steiger the boss. The fight scenes are entertaining, the dialogue is absolutely hilarious at times, and I dare you to tell me this isn’t a fun action flick as I give it 3 stars.
The Hackers (DVD) – This lesser known SOV flick is about three weirdos and a truck that drive around for odd jobs of fixing up homes, cabins, etc., out in the sticks. While not working they keep bothering a beautiful woman who just happens to be housesitting. First 15 minutes is where all the murders happen and then an hour of torturing this poor lady n’at. Yinz will absolutely hate the ending or semi-like it and feel that the movie makes some kind of sense is the best way to describe where this film goes as its worth at least one watch as I give it 2 stars.
Nightmare at 43 Hillcrest (DVD/YouTube) – Thanks to an overseas friend for pointing out this weirdo TV movie that feels like a more dramatic ‘After School Special’ about drugs and corrupt cops. A well-known police detective and his associate hit a house for a drug bust, problem is they fucked up and hit the wrong house. Instead of being empty handed and a laughing stock they plant drugs and turn this family’s life upside down. This TV movie looks more like a soap opera from the 70s more than anything but it was a well spent 70-some minutes as I give this special 2 stars.
In Search of Darkness: Part III (Shudder) – If your brain didn’t melt the first two times taking in all the beautiful horror that was out there in the universe? Well this documentary ups its game with going over 5 ½ hours! Enjoy 80s horror kids as this will last longer than that boner you keep trying to have with those generic pills that keep saying you have “low-T” at the age of 20? Any doodles yinz have fun with this because it was just as glorious as the others as I give this documentary 4 stars.
Last Man on Earth (Blu-ray) – Being a Vincent Price fan and being a fan of this film I don’t know if I ever put out a propper review of this flick? I mean honestly most horror fans over the age of 12 have seen or have said something about this film… Fan or not (which I am not) of the Will Smith film “I Am Legend” many youngsters seeked out the original. Now there will always be debate which film is the best version or interputation (mine is The Omega Man) of the original source material but that is for a whole other conversation? We are talking this 1964 film about gloom and doom that has possibly the most serious role of Vincent Price’s career? Price is Professor Robert Morgan and it is now 1968: a few years have passed since the plague started, he lost his wife and daughter, and he became the supposedly last survivor of mankind. During the day he tries to do clean up of the corpses in the street, get food, gas, and find the nest of ghouls that come out at night for him. This all stems from a possible airbourne virus that started in Europe that the professor may have immunity? (sounds interesting like now but funny how this film wasn’t brought up when the COVID shit went down) Back to the review, the ghouls, vampires, zombies, whatever you wanna call them are afraid of daylight, can speak, stakes to the chest kill them, garlic keeps them away, might be a vampire germ, and only come out at night. As you see the film plays with the lines or mythology of vampirism and zombies (especially before it was a term on the tips of tongues of every horror movie fan). The good professor believes he is doing something right until he meets a woman in Ruth who is half and half and learns he maybe the real monster? But pay attention to the dialogue about violence and society trying to survive because I think this why horror movie fans hold on to this version more than the others. For years if you are my age you grew up grainy versions of this film but with technology into DVDs the film looks never better but depending streaming, Blu-ray, etc., there is little differences in credits, beginning of the film , even the ending. Nothing crazy but stuff that the nerds will stay up at night knowing you didn’t know? No matter what the film is timeless in the fact of Vincent Price’s role but the subject matter and what it set up for a genre for decades to come so enjoy as I give this 3 ½ stars.
Haunted (DVD) – This 1995 film is about the paranormal but not just your ordinary ghost flick that at the time it was made may have flown under the radar unlike today if it would have been released. It begins in 1905 England where a boy loses his twin sister in an unfortunate accident that causes his mother to take him to the states until many years later. Now 1928, Aidan Quinn the grown up boy is back in England as a Professor and who has written a popular book proving ghosts don’t exist. After being contacted by an older woman several times he heads to a large property to debunk the latest haunting. There he meets a young and stunning woman in Kate Beckinsale who her and her two brothers have come back to Nanny to live since their parents have died in a monsoon. Shortly after the good professor believes Miss Webb is disturbed but soon finds his reality unraveling. The film goes in weird areas that include incest, who is alive, and how far is Christina willing to go to keep the professor there to stay? The film might be much more story driven than most ghost stories these days but stick with it as this is an interesting paranormal film that has quite an ending I think you may like as I give the film 3 stars.
The Banana Splits Movie (Blu-ray) – An absolute fun film about a kids television show from the late 60s and 70s that wasn’t perfect but now that I got the blu-ray it was time to revisit this fun creation. The April Fool’s joke that never went away and most likely never get a sequel was something off the wall and different than what horror fans are fed on a regular basis. Remember the show must go on but weird thing the Blu-ray doesn’t have a commentary but a cuple other extras worth oogling. If yinz are still into physical media like myself this is worth grabbing at the right price as I still give it 3 stars but also something tells me this will disappear if there is another upgrade in DVD/Blu-ray tech just some genre titles have in the past?
Phenomena (4K Ultra HD Set) – Just when I thought I seen it all Synapse has upgraded one of Argento’s weirdest flicks to the latest tech where the sound is somehow that much better and the colors are ridiculous. Now this one is a weird but understandable choice as American audiences just eat up anything Argento. This new set works on two fronts… if by some chance you never picked up the original US Blu-ray that first featured all three versions of the film well here is your chance to finally upgrade. Second front is, there is a different documentary on this new 4K version that wasn’t on the original Blu-ray set from a couple years ago. But outside of the new slipcase there isn’t much difference exception for the nerd that is in you. Yeah this weirdo Argento flick literally jumps off the screen but this new version really is about color and sound and if you got all the new tech in HDTV and 4K player stuff. Don’t get my wrong I enjoy Donald Pleasance and Jennifer Connelly but this set is literally made for the movie nerds in the US that may have not gotten that chance to get those selected huge box sets that were released overseas. I still give the flick 3 stars and 4 out of 4 to Synapse Films for putting this package together but this will be more for those who haven’t upgraded yet more than anything. But again Synapse is smart… Argento in 4K… I can hear the movie being shipped to many as we speak. For details on the new package check out www.synapse-films.com .
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Project Wolf Hunting (On Demand) – Once again Asian horror fucking rocks! This blend of “Con-Air”, “Dead Alive” splatter, with a glass of “The Raid” and “Captain America… sort of” is a Korean flick that has a group of dangerous criminals being transported by ship from the Philippines to South Korea. All the doors have been taken off to the rooms so each convict can be watched by the authorities going along for the ride. Of course there is a plan in place for the convicts to escape but what they are not counting on is the super-secret experiment hanging out in the bottom of the ship that only a doctor who is there for a bundle of cash knows about. This secret is known as “Alpha”! Once the escape and takeover begins it’s a wonderful war between cops and criminals until the “Alpha” has awakened by some human blood dripping down below (believe me just watch because it’s bad ass what happens next). This experiment is awake and pissed off as it is not picking sides. Hell a dude gets beaten with his own arm as this film sports possibly the most gore since “Dead Alive” if not more? Bottom-line: The Alpha doesn’t get old, very hard to kill, and has the strength of five men and he can smell your ass! What turns out from large scale takeover turns to a movie about survival as the movie explains a few things in the second half so stick with it. Most likely there won’t be a bigger splatterfest in 2023 but I was not impressed with the ending and felt it hurts the overall product as I give the film 3 ½ stars.
The Amityville Quilt Store (YouTube) – Yes indeed kids I have found entry #45 and it’s a short film (thank our lord Rutger Hauer) about two dudes who make the mistake of visiting the Amityville General Store. For one of the unfortunate friends they find out the hard way the antiques there must feed as I give the short film 2 ½ stars.
The Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver (DVD/YouTube) – The great Karen Black plays your normal housewife of George Hamilton in this 1977 TV movie. Karen’s character is stuck in normalcy until she begins to have dreams and visions of a woman who died a few years back. Without giving too much away as I liked the little twist in this film between Black’s performance and the 45 year old film still having a spooky charm to it this is more than worth seeking out as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Satan Lives! The Rise of the Illuminati Hotties (Blu-ray) – Sean Donohue and crew bring together what is supposed to be a lost film that was shot in 1992 by two filmmakers who set to interview and follow the leader of the Satanic church, Richard Lemeau. While gathering info on the satanic leader it’s quickly learned that there are some within the ranks that have their own plans that include world domination. Richard comes off in this documentary lost tape thingy as someone trying to run a legit alternative church but if Patricia’s plan goes off as planned she will be in charge of the Illuminati and the satanic church! This movie swims in the sea of sleaze and fun but has a few flaws such as the stripper dance routine going way too long to possibly pad running time? I did enjoy seeing the Dingo Pizza commercial from Maddie Deering’s “Spirit Animal” flick. So if you are not into films that flirts with the line between good taste and fun sleaze this is most likely not for you but I still give it a solid 2 ½ out of 4 stars for those who are fans of the talented Sean Donohue.
Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (DVD) – A 2012 Indy project that begins at Happy Day Bible Camp in 1977 where campers get massacred by a person of the cloth (supposedly) and it stars Tim Sullivan, Ron Jeremy, Jeff Dylan Graham and the great Reggie Bannister. Now seven years later Reggie as Father Cummings and a survivor of the massacre head to the camp for a fun retreat for the parish of young people. Once settled in the campers are again victims of Sister Mary Chopper as the legend goes. The movie has a few hilarious moments for an Indy slasher but this project always makes me wonder if Rick Fusselman would have finished his project “Bible Camp Massacre” which was in pre-production at the same time of this film what would have Indy horror fans preferred? Anyway go check it out as I give it 2 stars.
Robo Vampire 2: Devil’s Dynamite (DVD/YouTube) – More jumping vampires, clumsy ninjas, a rando spacesuit dude that looks like an extra from an early 70s Godzilla film fill up this sequel to one of the more bizarre films I ever watched? All I know everything is Steve Cox’s fault in this film and there is a shadow warrior running around trying to put an end to the evil. But again it is Steve Cox’s fault because of someone’s sister being the “Queen of the Underworld”. If you sense disappointment in my review then you right because they went away from the dude being in an aluminum foil Robo suit and the mechanical noises they make off screen for the suit. Damn pieces of shit ruining a good gimmick as I can only give this 1 star.
Robo Vampire 3: Counter Destroyer (DVD/YouTube) – This time around we get two screenwriters in Cindy and Joyce who want peace at a hideaway in the mountains of China so they can work on this hot project about the “last emperor of China”. While the bumbling duo are busy waking evil spirits up, we got some sketchy mob shit going down between film companies and a woman named Jackie just killing off mob dudes left and right. A weird and confusing movie that eventually brings back the Robo suit but not till late into the second half of this oddity called a film. It was a little better than part 2 as I give it 1 ½ stars but no one near as entertaining as the original “Robo Vampire”.
Nailbiter (DVD) – An early short film from the people of Witch Doctor Films that I have had the pleasure of reviewing several of their projects over the years. This unique group’s early work is about a young woman taking an experimental drug for her cancer and it fails… maybe? Problem, the medical facility covers it up when the angry husband comes sniffing around as he cannot live without his beautiful wife and even consults a magic man he doesn’t believe in. It’s a great chilling and dark Indy tale of when you cannot leave the dead to stay dead. The early work is rough around the edges but you can clearly see the talent is there for the Witch Doctor Films crew as this was a fun ride down the rabbit hole to see their early work as I give it 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.witchdoctorfilms.com .
Found Footage: The Series (DVD) – A project created by Indy legend Henrique Couto that has eight tales of found footage segments that run from 24 to 27 minutes. The eight stories are about strange occurrences and told uniquely through an influencer’s phone, Skype or Zoom, random camera footage, computer files, damaged hardrives, a RING doorbell, and an old broadcast from 1986 that was never meant to be seen. I am not a huge fan of ‘found footage’ stuff but will say the segment “Ding Dong” had my interest as a)it was told mostly through a RING doorbell on an empty house but also b) the relationship the character develops with the house night after night seeking to burglarize it??? Put it this way I am surprised I haven’t heard more about this project as it seems to fit what society is doing these days as I give the project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Homecoming Massacre (DVD/Tubi) – Our story begins with why you shouldn’t have clowns for a kid’s birthday party no matter what… Apparently also dudes don’t dress as the clown and get all rapey with mum? Anyway Jonathan kills both of them and gets put away in various facilities for ten years until a cousin or something of the family, “The Clarks” who have their own issues take him in. Of course things seem good so hey let’s leave our teenagers alone with the crazy murderer who killed his mum n’at ten years ago so the teenagers can have a party. Yep, this makes total sense for a lackluster ‘massacre’ flick that all you need to know its always the clowns fault as I give it 1 star.
Christmassacre (DVD/Tubi) – Which is a horrible title by the way which took me about five minutes to realize this is a movie from a few years back that Wild Eye Releasing renamed from its original title “Secret Santa”. Okay Wild Eye Releasing two things before we move on: first, do not be like some companies (let’s leave them unnamed for now) that rename films to get horror fans especially Indy horror fans to pay twice for the same movie when that is a little unoriginal and boring. Second, “Christmassacre”?! WTF?! What would be so wrong with “Secret Santa Massacre” if you are going that route anyhow? Back on track kids as we have a fun Indy horror flick about some college girls who live off campus and every year have a Secret Santa party after finals. This year someone is taking the Secret Santa thing a little too far as they plan on slaughtering all who is a part of this event? Weird thing about this up and down little horror film is the characters are very likable and actually help slosh through the dull parts of the film. Also pay attention to the cucumber and what happens to it as it has nothing to do with a dude getting his dried sausage of a wiener getting snipped off! Oddly enjoyable as the best thing I can say about this film as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Pennywise: The Story of IT (DVD/Tubi) – A wonderful documentary that looks back at this two part TV movie that was memorable for the horror fans but also changed the way TV movies were looked upon. If you were around when this was first released or just a nerd of this film before the remake ever existed this is a well worth watch as it does a deep dive into characters, process of it from book to the small screen, and the interviews and stories of behind the scenes stuff that may explain why part two sucked. Yes folks, they spend some time on what went wrong! Great way to waste two hours kids if you are a huge nerd for the film or just a fan of Tim Curry as I give it 4 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
This week it’s that time again. It’s time to discuss the best and the worst of what we saw in 2022, And with John out on vacation we invited another Jon on to fill. Jon Cross joins us along with stalwart T-Shirt Joe to discuss the stuff we jammed into our eyeballs in 2022. We also ponder the state of theatrical and streaming possibilities for the near future. And as always we read your personal lists of what was good and what was bad all year long. So download this episode or baby new year will poo poo all over your Blu ray collection.
Girlhouse (DVD) – This not talked about much horror flick came out around 2014 or 2015 and has their story beginning in 1988 with a couple of kids and a very cruel incident. Kylie a college student who enjoys using her webcam for extra cash gets accepted for a bigger online sex cam company that has a secure mansion (the Girlhouse) in the hills where several girls live and work. It’s Only Fans without calling it that but you get that impression from the get go. Kylie sees this as an opportunity to get the extra cash that is needed to finish college and get out. The movie doesn’t sound like much until you sit and actually watch it has the girls have a slight run-in with a customer what seems no different than what they have several times a year. The mansion is secure, hidden location, security guard, cameras, etc. But this goes out the window when a smarter than usual user name “Loverboy” takes it too far and gives stalking a makeover! May I add there are cameras throughout the house not only for the girls and company to watch but for added protection and just to give the movie an extra dimension (not like the disaster Halloween: Resurrection). Friends get to watch in horror as the events of the house unfold when Loverboy shows up. This may not make movie of the year but definitely a wonderful horror grab that deserves the watch, so looking for something you haven’t heard about but will fulfill your horror quota for the weekend make this your first stop as I give this unexpected fun beauty 3 stars.
Evil Aliens (Blu-ray) – I had a region 2 DVD of this Jake West flick when it first came out several years agoand thought it was time to grab the US Blu-ray edition and check it out again. Think Peter Jackson’s “Bad Taste”, with more of the gore and fun of “Dead Alive” if that makes any sense for this Welch production. To break it down it is literally an alien invasion flick from beginning to end as you have a UFO TV show that goes to remote part of the country to interview a pregnant woman about her abduction and set up a mock UFO abduction around her for the show. Problem, there is real bad ass aliens running around killing country folk along with the UFO show crew in a devastating gory manner that Peter Jackson would be proud of! Great film, that I still give 4 stars too but always surprised how this movie didn’t resonate with US horror fans the way I thought it would? The Blu-ray has a R-rated and the unrated versions, deleted scenes, bloopers, trailers, and a guided tour of the effects but I think the surprise is the quality of this Blu-ray wasn’t really any better than the 12 year old Region 2 DVD I have… I found it kind of disappointing. So if you are an interested horror fan that chooses their purchases wisely but haven’t been introduced to this flick yet I advise finding it on streaming or a cheap used Region 2 copy?
Once Upon a Midnight Scary (DVD-R/YouTube) – Oh for the love of Rutger Hauer this was a wonderful gem to dig up from 1979 as it was a TV special hosted and narrated by Vincent Price. He tells stories: The Ghost that Belonged to Me, Legend of Sleepy Hollow, and House with the Clock in the Walls! A great way to kill an hour, show something to the kids, and be thrown back in time when TV was appointment television as I give this creation 4 stars and can be found quite easily on YouTube for young and old horror fans to enjoy.
Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 (Tubi) – Welcome to Pine Hills Summer Camp as a blood soaked survivor, Jane, wanders in after her ordeal from the first picture. Problem is the thing has followed her! Thus a new group of actual likable characters who eventually fuck in the woods of course have decided to go camping at the wrong time. Or I should have opened with: Welcome to the sex-filled gorefest where a creature feeds on humans after taking over its host! And has a super talented Indy cast! I wasn’t a huge fan of the first film so I was surprised this was getting a sequel but surprise, kudos to the filmmaker for giving a vast improvement of a creature feature as this felt like it was more structured and had an endgame. Bottom line fun shit kids as I give it 3 ½ stars.
The Hoot Owl (DVD) – An Indy flick where four young friends head out to an out of the way place that a couple has purchased after some hard times recently. They are there for more cleaning the place up than having fun let’s say. The backstory comes into full view about ¾’s the way into the flick as someone is there unbeknownst to the friends as 15 years ago a couple was murdered in the home and was rumored to have children or a child disappear in the woods? Now a former inhabitant is not happy with these people buying the property on an online auction. Great artwork for the movie… boring as fucking shit film that felt like they struggled like hell to get this featured length and it showed as I give it 1 star.
Black Eagle (DVD) – It’s the 1988 action jam starring JCVD and Sho Kosugi that came out after Bloodsport and gets forgotten as JCVD plays the bad guy with a heart in this. A US Air Force jet goes down in sea over Malta where all the world’s spies hang out and now the race is on between Russia and the US to track it down. There is laser tech on the jet that cannot fall into the wrong hands of course but the film’s real attraction is the showdown between JCVD and Kosugi as they are on opposite sides. I don’t believe fans got the battle they wanted but we did get (spoiler alert) a very unexpected death scene for JCVD as I give the film 3 stars.
The Freeway Maniac (DVD) – A 1988 Indy flick where Arthur kills mom and her lover with a big knife! Then sent to an institution where as an adult he breaks out and finds Linda the model at a gas station where the attendants were getting rapey. Some time passes and young Linda is back at work again as she gets the starring role for a B-movie that takes place out in the desert. So hey time for Arthur to break out again and travel across the desert to stalk Linda! Not the best of plots but Arthur’s willingness to kill all in his path to get to Linda keeps this less than stellar film interesting and somewhat entertaining as I give it 2 ½ stars.
The Pervert’s Guide to Cinema by Slavoj Zizek (YouTube) – Had a close friend suggest this one to me recently as this gentleman looks at film from the philosophical side of things. This three part/2 ½ hour documentary of sorts goes down a rabbit hole of film class so to speak. He breaks down some of the biggest films: The Exorcist, The Matrix, Hitchcock, David Lynch, and tackles music, characters, sexual content, some older films and their impact and the paradox of cinema. If you ever thought there could more to movies this is a good place to start as he break down several things in these movies over the years to explain what they really mean and what they may have been going for as most of us of course missed it. Yeah, this was way too smart for my “Amityville, massacre, slasher film, bad Indy shit” watching ass to understand at spots but a very interesting piece of work to kill time and actually learn something about film that I love and enjoy so much! Well worth checking out kids as it also made me think how much more I would love to have a movie/documentary version of Joe Bob Briggs “Profoundly Disturbing” book. As I feel that might be one of the best things documenting cinema history and its impact on society. Point is if you are a Joe Bob Briggs fan to break it down for yinz n’at, this is well worth your time to understand something we all our so passionate about as I give it 4 stars.
Pieces (Blu-ray) – Finally tracked down the Grindhouse edition for a reasonable price so it was time to dive into this fun 1982 slasher from Spain. Totally upfront, I wasn’t always a huge fan of this film but I have watched it several times and I have grown to like it more and more over the years. So when I was able to get this Blu-ray I thought it was time to do the deep dive into all the extras that this disc features and rewatched this gory entertainment all over again! The movie was made famous for being on the “Video Nasty” list and banned from other countries causing it to hit the US video market in a R-rated version that horror fans during the 80s and early 90s to pass around bootlegs of the uncut version. You cannot go wrong with a maniac and his chainsaw hacking college girls into pieces and collecting them? Not the greatest plot of all time but you will see what makes this movie tick if this might be your first viewing. This edition is packed with interviews, two different versions of the film, and a great documentary about 42nd Street theaters as I give it all 3 ½ stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
God Told Me To (1976) aka Demon
Directed by Larry Cohen
Shown: Poster Art
God Told Me To (DVD) – A Larry Cohen flick from 1976 that I have always been curious about but never got around to it for god knows what reason… See what I did there? Anyhow, I will say this film is more about now than then if that makes sense folks. A police detective Peter Nicholas, a struggling Catholic, is having an issue understanding why a sudden string of murders is happening from people who claim, “God told me to”. Normal people just grabbing a gun, knife, whatever and start rampaging through New York killing random people. But after much investigation the clue that fits with all of them is that apparently God is a long hair blonde man they see before the murders? Thus these killers believe God has spoken to them. This sends the detective questioning his own sanity and his life as he eventually becomes a suspect? Love how this film is shot, great start of the film, we got Richard Lynch and Andy Kaufman in the film, 4 stars all the way people and a film that still works now!
Night of the Zomghouls (DVD) – Jack the Hack is a legendary serial killer who escapes transport from a Jeep Renegade (cause why even have anything resemble a police cruiser) and finds a kids party palace. The place happens to be a fake “Chuck E. Cheese” place (never seen that film?) and Jack just so happens to sacrifice himself to his Lord Satan to possess the animatronics there! As a planned birthday party is about to go on the employees get picked off one by one there. This film unevenly runs a whopping 92 minutes and would have come off a little better if the cast didn’t feel stale or like they were doing household chores instead of trying to give the film some life? I know its harsh and forgive me but do better people as I can only give this flick 1 star.
Quarantine LA(DVD) – In 2017 LA it has become a quarantine zone because a large scale viral outbreak that is evolving. Now, a Special Forces team sent on a secret mission is dead like many of the scientists that they were searching for in the zone. One last man from the mission finds a scientist and goes off book as he has found survivors but the government doesn’t want any of that. Just the cure and that’s it. As the movie progresses the zone gets worse and the government tries to cover it all up. Not a terrible premise for a flick but also not the most interesting these days as we have lived it as I give it 1 ½ stars.
Is That Black Enough For You?!? (Netflix) – A bad ass documentary about Black Cinema and takes a very deep dive of how one decade changed everything. But this starts from the beginning with the portrayals, the how, the why, and the history you may not know about through clips, trailers, and several known black superstars explaining their feelings and exposure to film. This a documentary that I thought above and beyond what others have done in the past on being informative, wonderful, but most importantly getting into stuff many film fanatics may have not known. Great stuff to dig into kids as I give this 4 stars.
The Main Street Massacre (YouTube) – So the film is set up with a local band named “Nic and the Castles” playing a house party where a horrible marriage proposal goes from bad to worse. Meanwhile some rando with a machete has shown up to off people who are attending the party. But what seems random is it always coming down to that damn drummer? This is one of those middle of the road horror flicks you can take it or leave itas I think the one thing that holds this film back is “they tried too hard to be Scream” as I can only give this Indy flick 2 out of 4 stars.
The Sawyer Massacre (YouTube) – This is a fan film that’s an unofficial prequel to the TCM series most horror fans love and cherish. So before I get into the review, be warned if you are a fan I am not here just trying to stir shit? I do have questions and we will go over them after the quick review. The film mostly centers around an old gas station in the middle of somewhere that Rex the owner not having any supplies is constantly sending random people passing through to his grandpas house down the road a bit. Apparently this old house has everything as this gas station got real busy during this film. Once there people go in and mostly don’t come back out as Leatherface has the chainsaw going on overdrive and just fucking victims up for supper! Now before the questions not sure when you were trying to set this in time wise but 12 minutes in that cool truck shows up with rims that weren’t around in the 50s and 60s if that is when this was set? Anyhow, question time: Why, because you know there are literally two different prequels out there? I mean honestly you have the budget, the equipment, and location; even a solid cast, just go make another film not called this about a fucked up family down the road? How don’t the victims hear the chainsaw running during this film and run their asses off or is just the old thing of white people are stupid in these horror films? I think the most important question well more like an observation is doing a prequel you have painted yourself into a corner because no matter what we all know what the end will be… The Thing prequel anyone? Again wasn’t trying to shit on anyone’s parade I just see resources and talent that could have been used differently than a TCM fan prequel but who am I to say anything as I give the flick 2 out of 4 stars. I mean it is a fan film and there will be fans and if anything I am now interested to see what Steve Merlo directs next?
For Y’ur Height Only (DVD/YouTube) – A 1981 Filipino flick that stars one of the shortest stars of all time in a serious film that has a little person playing a James Bond role as Double 00. Our star is only three feet tall and must stop an evil villain Mr. Giant. No lie folks this is a serious film with martial arts, action, etc. It is something that if you never seen it you must watch at least once to believe it as it was entertaining as hell as I give it 2 ½ stars.
D’ Wild Wild Weng (DVD/YouTube) – Well the small Filipino star followed up his James Bond stint with an action film I was confused from the fucking start on what was going on. First off, when watching this thing it was either 1800s old west or 1981 supposedly set in California, I think? Second, monks show up, then there is the Mexican army that seems to be in every spaghetti western and on top of that our small hero hangs with the Filipino version of Andre the Giant while riding in a dune buggy! All this while fighting ninjas in the countryside and getting advice from an eight month Prego Indian dude. Confusing but hilarious as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Calamity Jane’s Revenge (DVD) – Talented filmmaker Henrique Couto went out of the comfort zone in Indy filmmaking to make an old west flick centering on after the death of Wild Bill and Calamity Jane seeking revenge. It has Jane tracking down not just the one that shot Bill in the back but others that were involved while being tracked also a lawman to bring her in. The film stars Al Snow and the talented Erin R. Ryan as Calamity Jane along with several familiar independent actors I respect and enjoy in other projects. But from beginning to end this film just didn’t feel right like not the best work of Mr. Couto. Not a bad thing I give him huge kudos trying to do something we all wouldn’t expect but the film overall just never feels like it ever gets going as I have to give it only 2 stars.
Reptisaurus (DVD) – Damn kids I must have missed this during the boom of “Dinosaurs/Animal attacks films” during earlier in the 2000s or SyFy Channel? But a group of people get stranded on an island and find themselves in some trouble as a special two man-unit on a classified mission has picked them up. But doesn’t take long for the group to understand why they are there when a winged serpent wants to eat the humans. Think of a much lesser and interesting “Q, the Winged Serpent” where it’s a government mutation experiment gone bad as I give it 1 ½ stars.
From the Depths (DVD) – This film can basically go fuck itself as it advertise itself as a shark attack film not a drama about a woman named Liz dealing with the after effects of a shark attack. Liz may or may have not helped her sister because she was a better lay for Liz’s boyfriend? Liz even several months after the attacks is still having problems in aspects of her life and moving on but that isn’t the kick in the ass as the film pulls the old switch-a-roo and instead of dreaming it all Liz is on the operating table dying at the end. Yep, fuck this shit as I spoiled the fuck out that flick; don’t watch it as I give it zero shits for wasting my time.
7 Mummies (DVD) – Whether you like this movie or not I am gonna make you wanna see this film with what I am going to lay down… A group of convicts escape a prison van into the desert and they are led by that bad ass dude from “The Transporter”. Next, they kidnap the prison guard Cerina Vincent to not take advice from an Indian played by Danny Trejo and head to this old west town to look for gold. They arrive and greeted by Martin Kove and the bad ass that of course to represent evil and darkness, Billy Drago in the town! Not enough yet? Well it gets all “From Dusk till Dawn” in the bar without Tom Savini and eventually they are all attacked by mummy monks! Now run to watch this as it sounds awesome but comes off more like a chaotic mess that is a mish-mash of several movies but without an endgame as I give it 2 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
This week we return to converse about 3 more flicks. First a cultish kids flick with that one guy from The Young Ones and that Fast Times pool lady in DROP DEAD FRED. Then we have a sexy disco Dracula and some Donny P. in DRACULA from 1979. And finally we have a wheelchair bound karate master that works as a mob enforcer at their pool parties in MR. NO LEGS. We also talk about what we have been watching lately, Kyle’s dislike of Christmas horror movies, new possible Friday the 13th stuff, and a lot more stupidity. So download this episode or Sean Cunningham will sue ya!
Christmas Craft Fair Massacre (YouTube) – In this Indy holiday flick we have an appearance of Glen Coburn and it was directed by someone named Max Raven… Anyhow a school is in question where the annual Christmas Craft Fair is held as it seems to be the center for satanic power and the worshipers are clashing on who deserves the ultimate power. But the principal is the ultimate bad guy here as he is looking for a pure soul for the offering and does not want to share the glorious power! The film doesn’t have a long running time but does have problems ever get going as I give this film 1 ½ stars (always great to see Glen Coburn).
Adult Swim Yule Log “aka The Fire Place” (HBO Max) – Looking for something that truly shouldn’t make as much sense as it does? Then you have found it in this fucking over the top crazy ass holiday horror! After a couple minutes of watching a fireplace, we get talking in the background, a cleaning lady being killed by two intruders, cops, a couple who rented the place and films the fireplace for a living, uninvited double booked guests, a possessed Yule log, sexual tension between all, and if that wasn’t enough aliens! Yes kids I believe that covers everything that goes down in only something the people behind “Adult Swim” could come up with so grab the popcorn as I believe this will become a holiday staple for years to come as I give this ultimate holiday weirdness 3 ½ stars.
On the Trail of Bigfoot: Last Frontier (Vimeo) – Writer and director Seth Breedlove takes a deep look with a documentary that dives into the bigfoot lure of Alaska. He interviews real people who tell stories of strange creatures that wander the Alaskan wilderness. The film is not dull by any means and will have Bigfoot film lovers gushing over this project as Seth and crew not just get great stories but bring in researchers for some expiations, again real normal people, but explaining the different regions of Alaska and how a lot of us in the lower 48 states may not understand how these strange creatures could actually exist there? I enjoyed the process of this film, the seriousness, and especially the feel of it as it brings back some memories of the Bigfoot stuff of the seventies. This has to be one of the more recent projects that actually had me entertained but truly interested. Bigfoot lovers should be on the lookout for this wonderful project as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
Sewer Gators (DVD-R/YouTube) – Well it’s a week before the big gator festival in southern Louisiana and someone just got their ass eaten through their toilet (reminder it’s a joke that is mentioned several times during the film). Now the local drunk sheriff must investigate and stop this horrendous and vicious beast before it wrecks the big festival. No budget, cheesy as hell, not much blood, but lots of references to “Jaws” and I think there was one or two to “Alligator” unintentionally as I give this sloppy gator mess 1 ½ stars.
The Peanut Butter Solution (DVD) – An 80s film that for whatever reason I never seen as a kid or just never tracked down until recently (received a special edition recently after very hard to find for years). This New World Video release has a boy named Michael scared so bad in the burned out house down the street that he loses his hair. After his sister gets involved and they get a spell or such from some ghosts they use it to make a special peanut butter that makes Michael’s hair regrow but it doesn’t stop. Weird stuff happens with the art teacher, kids are disappearing, and apparently the house that burned is haunted. This is truly a weird ass film that could only have been released in the 80s like a “Saturday the 14th” but seeing it now doesn’t do the impact as it did then for people my age that grew up during that time. Glad to see it got a special edition and sure it has a small cult following like one of my favorites “Spookies” as I give this 80s weirdness 2 stars.
Violent Night (On Demand) – It is Christmas Eve and after a drunken stop in Bristol, England, Santa Claus is on his way to deliver presents believing this will be his last year as no one believes anymore. He makes it to the family ‘Lightstone’ compound to visit a little girl name Trudy and that is where a series of misfortunes for our holly jolly hero begin as his reindeer have left him. To make matters worse a group of mercs have descended onto the compound to steal 300 million dollars and they have Trudy as a hostage. Now a reluctant old Santa must make a choice of saving the family or just leave because this is none of his business? This is a wonderful, delightful, blood-filled Santa action flick that I know I will be watching every year around the holidays as the cast was perfect and the story never got dull as I give this film 4 stars! It is a holiday film with heart.
Burglar From Hell (DVD) – A much talked about SOV film from 1993 with a rabid fan base is about a man named Frank “the tank” who breaks into an old lady’s home only to be shot and killed during it. If that wasn’t enough poor Frank is buried in the backyard. Some time passes and some friends have a party at the house only to have a friend have a séance. Of course the young drunken people interrupt the process and up raises an undead Frank to go a murder spree as he rots away. Hilariously rough and gritty but definitely can see why the Indy community enjoys this film as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Runaway Train (DVD) – This 1985 flick has an all-star cast throughout about an older convict played by Jon Voight who shows up at a hard-nosed prison run by the warden played by Jon P. Ryan. From the beginning Voight’s character is planning to get out but he will need some help and that will be a young Eric Roberts who is more of a follower to the older convict. Once escaped it becomes a cat and mouse game between the warden and the two convicts as Voight finds a train for the two. But unforeseen circumstances happen as the conductor has a heart attack and falls off and now the two must decide do they stop it or let it ride to their doom? A well-constructed action/drama that I never heard much about but glad I got to see it as I give it 3 stars.
Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell (DVD/Shudder) – Thirty years after a dude butchers a young lady in a home and buries her under the floor boards his son comes to the house. He brings along a psychic and his girlfriend and they all find themselves trying to survive some evil supernatural shit! An enjoyable gooey mess from Japan in 1995 that is very “Evil Dead” inspired that will make international horror fans very happy it has had a wide release as I give it 3 stars.
Hell Roller (DVD) – A sleazy 1992 no budget flick that stars Mary Woronov, Michelle Bauer, Hyapita Lee, and Johnny Legend so of course this had my immediate attention. But the real star attraction of this film is our killer in a wheelchair! A dude in a wheelchair who is homeless, angry, having nightmares, and twitching goes on a murderous rampage after his adopted mother/aunt is raped and murdered one evening. This is one of those flicks that its content will not be for everyone but has an entertainment value of bad jokes, sleaze, and Michelle Bauer of course that will appeal to those who haven’t had the pleasure of watching yet? This entertained the shit out of me as I give it 3 stars and yes full movie is on YouTube… for now. Also I have one question after you watch this: Please explain to me how this wheelchair bound dude was always on a rooftop meeting people?
Baby Ghost (DVD) – Filmmaker Donald G. Jackson project that stars a Joe Estevez as a down on his luck photographer trying to help people escape a building that happens to have a ghost problem. This 1995 film feels more like an unfinished project where they had use of an empty building and eventually got bored and threw in a bad special effect ghost to sell the movie? If anything Conrad Brooks fans will enjoy “Three Stooges-lite” kind of comedy as I give this 1 ½ stars.
Mad Heidi (On Demand) – Casper Van Dien is the president of Switzerland who is trying to have scientists come up with a better cheese for their annual Swiss Day that can make super soldiers for him to control! If that one sentence doesn’t sell it to you then I suggest moving on because this hilarious Swissplotation goes well beyond the point of good taste and involves where the government is tracking down lactose intolerant people to imprison them. Meanwhile a beautiful lady named Heidi has just witnessed her boyfriend’s head exploded by an evil leader of the Swiss army and grandpa blown up. This only serves as inspiration for the young lady in prison to escape and start an uprising against the president and his vision for global domination! In the spirit of “Grindhouse” and “Sharknado” this movie goes for the throat on laughs and at times gore as Heidi slaughters her way to freedom as I give this film 3 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Psycho Santa 2: The Forgotten Gift (DVD) – In 2006 this was an underground Santa sequel that just got a release (supposedly the sequel was never released four years after the original) but hey who in the hell knew there was a sequel? Anyway in this incoherent mess an undead psycho Santa returns to help his son Donivan carry on the holiday murdering tradition. SOV fans there were a reason this stayed unreleased for several years and incoherent is being nice so enjoy if you were a fan of the first film as I give this pile of Santa poo 0 stars.
Puppet Master: Doktor Death (Tubi) – So Charles Band’s next step into the “Puppet Master” universe was to follow up the ‘Blade’ flick with an entry from the “Retro Puppet Master” series? Hmm… Not exactly where I would have gone but anyhow we are introduced to April who has her first day on the job at ‘Shady Oaks Senior Living’ where her first task is to help clean out an old dude’s place after dying. She stumbles upon an old chest that they of course open and find the Doktor Death doll! Doesn’t take long for this puppet to get its legs going and begin its killing spree in the senior living (or dead) home. But Full Moon alum Dave Parker throws in a twist where April being there knew exactly what she was doing from the beginning in hopes of opening up the Full Moon universe for more “Retro Puppet Master” one-offs? This entry was nowhere near the disaster the ‘Blade’ flick was as I actually give this 2 ½ stars.
Amityville Scarecrow 2 (DVD) – Again for those of yinz kids counting with me this is entry #42 and also a sequel to a very shitty UK film. Apparently the sisters didn’t get enough of the haunted land the first time around and decided making the haunted trailer park/camp an attraction was a smart idea? First half of the film has lots of filler talk of how the land “is haunted or evil”. Second half of the film is a poor excuse for a bad scarecrow slasher. But if you need amused? Pay attention to the characters talking about the timeline of the murders of the first film as it makes Charles Band’s Puppet Master timeline look like a first grade math problem as I give this horrible travesty 0 stars.
Amityville Karen (DVD/Tubi) – Hey yinz, here is entry #43 as I really hate to talk down to an independent film or the people behind it but honestly this over 100 minute piece of shit based on a joke and stereotyping a certain dumb human should have been no more than a 15 minute short film and not released three years after being relevant? But here we are… apparently Karen is a health code inspector who wants to bring down a winery that isn’t showing her the right respect. While the manager goes off to do something Karen takes it upon herself to steal a bottle of Amityville Wine. Once home Karen drinks the wine, finds herself haunted by a demon, then the next morning signing her soul over to a complete stranger whose photo appears on the Amityville wine. What doesn’t make a ton of sense is there is an actual cast of actors that you may know and this film is full of more filler than an actual storyline. Even when Karen begins her evil murder spree it barely will make you blink with the bland special effects. Oh by some chance you need to know how this ties in with “Amityville?” Apparently the wine comes from a vineyard that was planted in the evil town on evil soil!!! I know there is a few Indy people on the west coast that were involved with this project but sometimes you got to say, “NO” as I give this complete unfunny disaster 0 stars.
The Resonator: Miskatonic U (DVD/Tubi) – This reboot, reimaging, whatever you want to call this creation from William Butler and Charles Band caught me a bit off guard as I gave it sometime before I watched it? I heard certain things and one of being they were continuing “From Beyond” and “Re-Animator”? So let’s be serious for a moment any real horror fan would question anything Charles Band has given us recently but as usual I gave it a chance because I am a fan and… (Ready) I was pleasantly surprised with what they did. Think of it as a combo as this was the first entry that has a young college character named Crawford who is continuing his father’s work which includes rebuilding the ‘resonator’. Crawford does a demonstration for his friends as they were worried but see the potential in his work and what this could mean for mankind? After being witnesses to the breakthrough of the resonator working Crawford is haunted by his deceased father telling him to destroy the machine before its too late. A professor (Michael Pare) who is very acquainted with Crawford and his father’s work soon interjects himself into the equation. Professor Wallace wants world domination as Crawford just wants to speak with his father but the calculations are off or are they? The film ends with a young Herbert West being introduced to the group in front of Miskatonic U played by Josh Cole. I really was on the fence about this but I will admit I liked it and have to give it 3 stars.
Beyond the Resonator (DVD/Tubi) – In the sequel all the characters that were involved with witnessing the resonator are now being affected by the after effects of being in a parallel reality that is now the new one. Crawford tries to get a meeting with the group to explain, “Not to do anything before he can come up with a plan” Flatliners-style. Meanwhile we get to watch a young Herbert West get used to his surroundings and try to nail down the reagent formula he is trying to perfect to bring life back to the dead. Weird, fun, still missing Jeffery Combs but gotta give Josh Cole for doing a great job as I give this 3 stars.
Curse of the Re-Animator (DVD/Tubi) – To complete the trilogy Crawford believes he was doing the right thing trying to connect with his dead father but knows he must put things back with the resonator. Meanwhile West’s experiments escalate and he finds himself in the middle of an experiment to bring the resonator back to life and set things right? These recent projects that combined “From Beyond and Re-Animator” storylines were done with the respect they deserved but also made it fun to revisit. I personally would have loved to see the original Herbert West involved someway? But I guess this will have to do as I never put it pass Charles Band to come up with something as I give this film also 3 stars.
Baby Oopsie 2: Murder Dolls (DVD/Tubi) – Another William Butler project under the Full Moon label where he took a character from a past series and placed it in a series of movies. Sybil and Baby Oopsie have returned after Sybil’s boss is no more. While dabbling in some other things with her satanic neighbor the authorities are taking notice of Sybil. They have questions about her former employer? Meanwhile Sybil is also approached by a superfan to make two new dolls? Sybil’s superfan happens to be employed by an overseas corporation called Twinkle Enterprises who want global domination of the doll market. After developing the dolls and Sybil’s neighbor getting involved for the first time Sybil questions what she is doing and may want a part of toy hell! Weird as hell but if you are the Full Moon fan well worth the watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Baby Oopsie 3: Burn Baby Burn! (DVD/Tubi) – With the new dolls and the satanic neighbor it is the day of reckoning as everything seems to be closing in on Sybil. The satanic neighbor is bringing forth “The Toy Master” as Sybil tries to do the right thing and get a priest involved. This sequel is fucking wacky as we got dumb detectives, cyborgs, end of mankind, green goo, an exorcism, and a way to tie in the original “Demonic Toys” into the evil storyline and give it potential for another sequel as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Amityville Hex (DVD/YouTube) – Entry #44 in the series was much delayed and comes off that it was filmed at the beginning of the pandemic when everyone was locked down like the “5G Zombies” flick. Anyhow if you are still with me after that this entry focuses in on vloggers/influencers/podcasters that are doing the latest internet challenge “Amityville Hex”. Supposedly at first nothing happens but apparently reciting this on the internet with your followers brings forth Satan or some kind of demonic force that haunts your ass until you die. (Nope never heard of that idea before?) It also claims when these certain popular people do this it will go viral. The first 30 minutes is a bunch of so-called vloggers or whatever doing the challenge then the last 75 minutes is the after effects to those who did the challenge. Yes kids, over 105 minutes of boring shit that could have been done in 10 minutes on YouTube (again just my opinion) but yet again is possibly the main reason you hear so many horror fans push back against crowd funding movie projects? The one question I have between this movie and “Amityville Karen” and “Amityville Thanksgiving” is … Mr. Shawn Phillips where is all the money your so-called fans put into these because I fail to see it in the production value? Sorry that is me just being old and critical or maybe not? Yinz decide as I give this crap 0 stars also.
Prince of the Crimson Void (DVD/YouTube) – The latest out of underground independent filmmaker Dakota Ray who once again dives head first into some super dark shit. Dakota has a talent to tell bleak and dark stories and this is no different as Fabian is a sadistic murderer who believes in snuffing out another serial killer Kimball. Fabian’s belief is he will gain his power and the souls of those Kimball as taken over the years as both of them share a burial ground where they lay the remains. Fabian in his quest is quite taken back when he finds out Kimball has cancer which could upset Fabian’s grand plan for the fellow serial killer? But Fabian goes through the killing anyway only to dig up the corpse a year later to plan with his skull. Even though Fabian feels god-like I do wonder if Fabian is just questioning his obsession with the individual when he digs up the corpse. Sick, dark, twisted, whatever you would like to call underground filmmaker Dakota Ray I will say this: His material might not be my cup of tea but would not be surprised if he finds a much bigger audience with this project and a fan base that will want more… as I give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
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