Tag Archives: slasher

Gross Movie Reviews #689

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Haunted House of Pancakes (YouTube) – A small restaurant owner Frank has bought a vintage waffle iron to take advantage knowing the waffle place down the road has burned down for mysterious reasons. A couple of brothers in Carlos and Jay are put in charge of getting the vintage appliance to start working so it can churn out waffles! While fixing it Jay cuts himself and bleeds accidentally onto the waffle iron which apparently now works because of the blood. It’s not long before the evil waffle iron possesses Carlos into making evil waffles that also in turn tells Carlos to make evil food for the customers so they all can be possessed in time for “the feast”. Jay quickly becomes the unlikely hero with his new friend Sara to defend themselves from the demonic waffles and their bloodbath they want to cause! Not since ‘Attack of the Killer Donuts’ have I seen a cool killer food film that kicks this much ass as the evil food horror project deserves 3 out of 4 stars.

Debbie Does Demons (Blu-ray) – Donald Farmer with one of his best efforts in recent memory has Lauren and friends wanting to contact a witch while fucking around with an Ouija board. Well congrats yinz just conjured a witch named Carmilla who’s a total hot sleazy bad ass that is here to haunt Lauren and friends to death. Meanwhile it just so happens a horror host/witch expert named Debbie has visions of Carmilla’s return so it’s no surprise when Lauren comes begging for help with the witch as she plans to raise hell in this present day earth! If it’s an actual term I would call this entertaining project “tasteful sleaze” as this easily could have been a throw away sequel for the ‘Witchcraft’ series but with Donald Farmer’s talent and the outstanding cast we get one hell of an Indie project for fans to watch multiple times as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Zed’s Dead (Blu-ray) – A passion project of Sean Donohue who is a huge fan of the film ‘Pulp Fiction’ decided to give a backstory loosely based on the characters who run the pawn shop, Zed and Maynard. Call it exploitation done right by Mr. Donohue as he doesn’t just attempt but does a wonderful job of telling a story about these two interesting characters. The film goes down an entertaining wormhole of what these two and their gimp do with their free time, how the pawn shop is run, and how they get into so much trouble in what we are shown in the film ‘Pulp Fiction’. If you are a fan of the award winning film you’ll enjoy this project that was limited to only a few hundred copies being made and if it helps my favorite character in all of this is “The Gimp”! Well done Mr. Donohue as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Tapeworm Z (Blu-ray) – Short version of my review is two words… “Titty snakes”! I don’t even have to review it now as I know you reading that you want to see this no budget project in a bad way! So the plot of the film is this bootleg ‘Night of the Creeps’ leech aliens arrives on earth to attack humans in a small town of course. A set of humanoid aliens arrive on earth to hunt these blood sucking worms aka “Titty snakes” before they quickly destroy this planet. The worms are a parasite that uses the human body to move around or to feed on their insides. Bad acting, gore, and titty snakes makes this a fun surprise to find as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Ssssstoner Snake (DVD) – Now before we get into the review of this film and its title this is a prime example of you know exactly what you are about to watch. It’s the ‘Jason X’ argument… where horror fans will bitch about this entry for whatever fucking reason that doesn’t make any sense other than you getting an immediate response from me: “What were you expecting after nine fucking films of slashing and hacking of teenagers in the woods? It is in space for the love of Rutger Hauer!” Like somehow this is crossing the line with sending Jason in space but it’s okay for Pinhead and Leprechaun after the third film and okay for all of yinz forgetting how Busta Rhymes made ‘Halloween: Resurrection’ unwatchable but let’s complain about Jason being in space. Point is (end of rant, for now) please don’t pretend you weren’t expecting a bad killer snake movie? If you were expecting something else or you feel this film is beneath you please stop watching horror movies! Anyhow, congrats to Daryl Hook and crew just steering into the skid about an alien snake that lands on earth in search of weed. The story about Golimar the snake is so bad it makes Poppy Butterington who is hosting it on “Trash Can Theater” question her life choices. Here is what you need to know Golimar is a stuffed animal snake from outer space, loves weed, eats people for a snack, Golimar has a rap song, Golimar trips balls on catnip and meets the poop fairy, there is a fake penis chomping scene, what more would do you want from an independent film that started as a joke? Legit, yinz had me at the rap song and Mel Heflin as Ms. Butterington losing her shit. The more impressive thing that should be taken away from this project is the amount of talent that put their time and effort in making sure this joke goes all the way. Was it perfect, nah, but is it hilariously entertaining, yes it is as I give Golimar 3 out of 4 stars.

Return to Death Park (Streaming) – The Death Park killer returns to his killing grounds at a public park after his brother visits him in the morgue bringing him back to life with a green serum. The death park killer and his brother spend most of the movie stalking the various bounty hunter groups who are looking for a big payday if they can bag the masked killer. Before viewing if need some background the prequels are now on streaming to prepare you for this project. I wanted to enjoy this film especially with it having a couple known names attached to it but its poor chemistry between characters and what should have been a thirty minute film instead of being stretched thin into 74 minutes hurt this project for the long run as I can only give it 1 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #679

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What Happens After the Massacre? (Tubi) – An independent film set in the woods of Michigan at Camp Kiwassee where ‘Red Face’ the killer slashes his way through a new set of victims every summer. This is where Henry comes in as his job is to clean up after every massacre and get the camp all ready for the kids to come back. Between Henry breaking in a new employee to help him clean and wondering out loud why ‘Red Face’ left him alone when he seen the killer slaughter his camp counselors years ago makes it one hell of a movie idea. The film attempts to answer some questions of the 80s slashers that take place at camp sites while having some fun with the concept as they also throw in some gore to keep it interesting as I got give this ‘massacre’ film 3 out of 4 stars.

Bride of the Werewolf (DVD) – Okay here was an interesting throwback monster film done on an Indie budget. Two beautiful young women go driving through the countryside only to be harassed by a couple horny locals, their car break down, and then meet a stranger at his home with an odd friend looking for help. The stranger, Saul has a secret while the one woman, Sylvia, becomes fascinated with Saul and his work as he is also just as fascinated with Sylvia’s research. Both falling in love and wanting to protect each other. Mark Polonia treats this old school classic monster subject matter with the right amount respect while Mel Heflin just kills it as Sylvia! Imagine if someone like a Roger Corman made an American Hammer film as I give this cool monster flick 3 out of 4 stars.

The Swabian Sawmill Massacre 2 (DVD) – The German crazy splatterfest has a sequel where the killer is declared dead after injecting himself with a needle. But not so fast splatterfest fans because once the needle is removed in the morgue the killer pops back to life again so he can continue his slaughter! This not so serious massacre literally has a kill scene where the killer cuts off a victim’s hand and sticks up his ass. Pretty much just another chaotic German splatterfest that follows in the bloody footsteps of the first film as I give the sequel 2 ½ stars.

Tag Team (DVD-R) – You can find this on YouTube and some other sites if you look hard enough depending on quality if that is your thing? But anyhow this was a buddy cop pilot from 1990 starring Jesse “the Body” Ventura and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper! The premise of the show was supposed to be about these two wrestlers who get screwed over so they are forced to find a new career to pay the rent. After failing at a few things they get the idea of becoming cops after saving a grocery store from being robbed. No sooner than they graduate, their first day on the job is to protect a witness from being killed by the mob for something she seen. Yes this concept is very corny and hilarious but how did this get the axe and we were shoveled some other crap we had witnessed at that time? Who knows as it may have been doomed from the beginning as wrestling still wasn’t accepted by many? No matter what this entertaining piece of TV is well worth killing an hour for as I give it 4 stars.

Amityville Backrooms (Tubi) – Welcome my friends to entry #68 from Evan Jacobs who has done a couple entries in the ‘Amityville’ series but maybe more known for his ‘Death Toilet’ series. Anyhow, this time around the Amityville home is about to be sold again. The real estate agent selling it magically finds himself transported to the house from his office. After a week he finds himself defeated as he is stuck in this realm of the house. A week later a friend at the real estate agency looks into why there was no closing on the Amityville home and then finds himself trapped at the haunted home too. Honestly once you watch the first twenty minutes, you have watched the entire 71 minute film as not much happens other than both real estate agents bitching they can’t leave. I believe this would have made a great short film to add to the series but instead you will feel like you should win a prize just for watching it to the end as I give it 1 star.

Desert Fiends (DVD) – A Shawn Phillips feature that has a lot of cameos and people getting dicks ripped off as he puts his touch on the ‘Hills Have Eyes’ formula. Friends for a 21st birthday head to the middle of the desert for a bad ass concert. Nevermind the mutant family that lives in a cave nearby believes someone has just ringed the dinner bell! From there chaos ensues literally as we have mutant family, concert in desert, not a lot of plot, with a good amount of gore. The film has its entertaining moments but feels like a total mess that had no business running as long as it did as I got to give it 1 ½ stars for all the dick ripping, biting, and hacking off.

The Final Interview (Blu-ray) – Journalist Oliver Ross is brought to a prison to do a one of a kind live interview with inmate Darius Tidman a couple hours before his execution. Tidman is this notorious Pittsburgh killer who supposedly just enjoyed his killing ways until he got caught. Oliver Ross is an over the hill journalist whose better days are behind him as he has burned many bridges in his business and it’s his last chance to hit big! For the hour of television the two go back and forth tempting each other, challenging each other in some weird game of getting the info they want. This Fred Vogel flick is timeless, brilliantly laid out, just so damn intriguing as the characters capture your attention immediately and don’t let go! How this perfect piece of cinema isn’t playing on one of those crime channels or streaming sites is beyond me as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars.    

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #635

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MR-9: Do or Die (Vimeo) – An action film out of Bangladesh that bases the film on a series of novels about an agent called “MR-9” or  a version of an international bad ass spy! Anyhow the CIA comes a knocking (Michael Jai White) at the BCI to hopefully use agent MR-9 to gain access to R&R Robotics or the Ross Brothers legit enterprise to stop Frank Grillo aka Roman Ross from blowing up some of the world’s most famous dams. With the help of MR-9 the Vegas event goes well that it has Ross on the ropes giving room for the CIA to close in and stop the brothers from pulling off a huge criminal event. This Bangladesh film has the formula down: Big opening, secret agent, lots of action, and give action film fans a quick taste of Grillo and White fighting at the end. The film isn’t perfect but it is a fun international action flashback to the solid 90s direct-to-video action stuff Americans we use to see on a regular basis. The biggest flaw might have been tacking onto the ending to set up a second upcoming film of MR-9 but remember this isn’t the usual American action film fare. But no matter what you got me wanting to see the next entry as I give this solid film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Invasion of the Space Preachers (DVD) – Here is a 1990 Indy film that has two friends (a dentist and an account) heading to the woods for a week of fun. On their way to the cabin they rented of course they find a wounded alien and take it with them. Once the alien heals up it turns into a beautiful woman to hang out and blend in with the two fellows as something fishy is going on among the locals and their preacher? The alien/now beautiful woman has come to stop the creepy preacher and its plans to wreak havoc internationally! If you have never seen the film it will be entertaining as hell for the independent movie fans if you are casual movie watcher, you better just move on as I give this fun flick 2 ½ stars.

Monster Busters (DVD) – A 2009 film out of Denmark that comes off as a ‘Goosebumps’ clone where grandpa tells the grandkids stories of hunting monsters in his younger days. Things seem normal until grandpa gets sick and taken to the hospital allowing for one of the grandkids to accidentally let loose a “shadow monster”. Once grandpa gets better he helps coach the kids into Monster Busters so they can recapture the monster that cannot be killed and understand and respect Grandpa’s stuff. The cute monster movie is family fun from a different country that is worth the search if you are a ‘Goosebumps’ fan as I give it 3 stars.

Lycan Colony (DVD) – Again no budget filmmakers, “If you are going to make a werewolf film you better have one hell of a werewolf costume?” In this 2006 independent werewolf film a young lady Sarah bites the new neighbor boy Stew for no other reason other to taste him… I guess? This goes down while Stew’s father is busy fighting werewolf extras that couldn’t afford costumes in a bar and he happens to find out the whole town they moved too is full of werewolves. About ¾’s a way through the film there is some non-sense trying to explain why the werewolves exist in this little town. If that isn’t enough for this mess of a film you will question “WTF you are watching” when you get to its weird video game bullshit to close out the film. And yes I am still not sure WTF I watched as I give this movie 1 star.

Death Rider: In the House of Vampires (On Demand) – The second project written and directed by Glen Danzig which I have stayed away from the first project as too many people made sure I knew how bad that one was. But I may get to that first project sooner than later after watching this? Anyhow, this western has a man, I mean vamp in black knocking at the door of a safe place for vampires with his virgin for entry. Mainly this vampire named Rider is there for revenge is the best way to describe this weirdly filmed western. The movie isn’t terrible as Glen Danzig seem to splash together the legendary Eastwood 60s westerns with Carpenter’s “Vampires” that somehow became a bootleg of a bootleg of “From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman’s Daughter”… without much happening. But what stands out to me more than the star-studded cast might be how this vampire film was shot as it came off as a high tech editing error or totally on purpose for some reason only known to Mr. Danzig himself? There is a weird delay or something? It is one of those movies that has the cast, the budget, and a script but totally unprepared on what to do with it as I give this project 2 stars. P.S. thank you Mr. Danzig for allowing me to look like a better actor than you, please people go compare and enjoy the laugh.

XXX-Mas (Blu-ray) – Johnny Duckett just happens to be a filmmaker of porn with his latest adult film production supposed to be this epic holiday porno like no other with all the bells and whistles! Duckett wants this production to start off a Marvel-like porn universe of holiday porn? Meanwhile Santa has just sat down to eat some cookies and watch one of his favorite holiday films on VHS. Santa sees something naughty on said VHS tape and makes a point to go to the porn set to assault all who are taking part in the porn shoot. Drew Marvick was perfect as the killer Santa! And it is always great seeing the talented Felissa Rosa and Jessa Flux but in the end it just felt like this independent production lacked the memorable staying power of a holiday horror movie other than Drew Marvick being a great killer Santa as I give this project 2 stars.

Debbie Rochon Confidential My Years in Tromaville: Exposed (DVD) – I was expecting a documentary but got a clip show of Debbie Rochon’s work with Lloyd and Troma. It isn’t a bad thing if you are a fan but never did a deep dive into Debbie’s work with Troma TV and Troma promos? Or ever been exposed to her work with Troma? The real treat might be the “Fangoria Trailer Park” extra that is on the DVD? It is a Fango TV thing from the early 2000s that horror fans may have never known about but would enjoy to check out. This was way before Shudder was a thing and how there were several horror outlets or websites taking a stab at trying to really establish a horror network. So by some chance you never been introduce to this talented actress Debbie Rochon this will most likely be a good watch for you as I give it 3 stars.

Aftershock (YouTube/VHS) – A 1990 post-apocalyptic film I have never heard of happen to come to my attention so of course I made a point to check this out. And kids I was not disappointed with its casting of John Saxon, James Lew, Michael Berryman, Richard Lynch, and Matthias Hues! The film is set in a world ravaged by war but still being controlled by something called the “Central Control Information Bureau”. This organization’s goal is to keep humans in line in this post nuke new world. Elizabeth Kaitan of “Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood” fame is an alien that has happen to set down in this mess and spends most of her time on the run from these Central Control non-sense guys or mainly John Saxon. Great cast but not much to the plot other than stealing from “They Live” of telling citizens to wake up and throw in an alien and we got our post-apocalyptic movie that I give 2 ½ stars.

Darkness of Man (On Demand) – An aging JCVD was an Interpol agent that made a promise of protecting a teenager after his mother dies. Now two years later Russell and Jayden get caught up in a violent street war between the Russians trying to take over the neighborhood Korean town where the old Korean mob has been established for decades. Think of a slow burn “John Wick” that has subtle ways of using some solid familiar action stars to blend this story of the burned out former Interpol agent being used by the Korean mob. Might not be the best of the JCVD catalog but might be his most plots driven to date as I give it 3 stars.

The Third Saturday in October (Shudder) – I quite enjoyed this throwback to a 70s slasher film as this one has heart with the music, the look, and the cars. Set in 1979 Alabama where deranged killer Jack Harding is being put to death for his killing spree in 1968 but has refused to say a word since. When Harding is electrocuted there is a man (Ricky Dean Logan) and a woman (Vicki Newton) that is witnesses of the execution who also wanna see him buried in the ground to be sure he is dead. But don’t let a good electrocution keep this killer down as he rises from his coffin to kill again and heads to the town of Hackleburg to restart his bloody rampage. Ricky and Vicki soon believe Jack Harding isn’t human but some kind of unstoppable monster. This is one of the few nostalgic slasher films in the past several years that have gotten the formula right! When watching your 70s slasher film makes me think of “Halloween” and “Phantasm” but also finds a way to give me chills you know you have made this horror fan happy who is old enough to remember that time as I gotta give this wonderful nostalgic 70s movie 4 stars! Horror fans that enjoyed “Late Night with the Devil” will enjoy this also.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (Blu-ray) – Everyone new and old is back for this fourth installment into the franchise. They continue the storyline that something has to be done with the old containment unit before it’s too late? This also sets up a new ghost villain or phantom from an ancient orb that has not been seen in centuries is about to use the containment unit to help send the world in chaos and darkness. Once again it is up to the Ghost Busters to stop “The Death Chill” in this family fun movie that may not be as good as “Afterlife” but let me remind you these movies should have been made thirty years ago. So shut up and just enjoy we are even getting these movies as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #624

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Silent Scream (DVD) – This late 70s pseudo-slasher opens with the cops bursting into a house with dead bodies lying all about. We go back a short time before that event to meet a young lady named Scotty who has arrived at college late and has trouble finding housing as there is a shortage. After seeing some sketchy places she finds a rather remote large home that oversees the ocean that only has a teenager and his mother living there. Scotty is in luck or is she as there is a room for rent. The teenager and mother have a secret as a roommate is murdered before Scotty can settle in as the cops are all about the weird stories of this family renting out to college students? This is more on the lighter side of slashers (more suspenseful than bloody) as it felt more like a TV movie made for the times but still a fun watch. Wouldn’t be surprised things got lost through all the reshoots for the finished project over a two year period if you are a completest of slasher films it is still worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Lifechanger (DVD) – A very interesting 2018 horror flick I never heard of but after seeing a trailer for it, definitely caught my attention and felt it deserved a watch sooner than later. The film quickly opens up with a murder and a narrator voiced by a man explaining his life as he does throughout the film. This man is some kind of shape shifter, creature of unknown origin, a vampire of sorts as you be the judge? Anyway this thing explains it must move from body to body to survive. Time varies (six hours is mentioned a few times) depending on drugs it can find and the state of the body. If it is in a body too long “the rot” begins which it assumes death is not far behind. Unknowing what he is it keeps the process going because he has found love in a woman named Julia. Problem is for every form it takes it must also get rid of the leftover corpse… take my word on it this is a very interesting concept about a person looking for love that has a Lovecraftian ending of sorts. Great stuff here folks as it is hard to explain what exactly this movie is but you won’t be disappointed in watching it as I give it 3 stars.

Showdown at the Grand (On Demand) – The Grand theater is one of the longest running theaters in the southwest United States. It has been running since 1928 and has been in George’s family for quite some time as George (Terrence Howard) has made it museum also. This was the theater for exploitation flicks, horror movies, B-movies, everything outside of the norm to be cherished and thrive but its rich history of playing these films is in doubt. George is being pressured by a couple of shady characters to sell the place for future development of high priced apartments and luxury stores. But George’s saving grace might be bringing in an actor he idolizes in Claude Luc Hallyday (Dolph Lundgren) a down on his luck movie star from such films: Iraqnphobia, Moses vs. The Nazis, Blood is for the Living, Necropolis, and Cyber Cartel) who is ready to make a comeback? George’s plan works as he gets a sold out house for the Claude Luc Hallyday event but corporate greed is about to ruin George’s plan as this movie has heart and will make you smile if you are a true movie nerd. Think a splash of ‘Matinee’ mixed with a heavy dose of the Grindhouse trailers of 15 years ago with the state of affairs and pressure the few independent theaters left now have to deal with. I absolutely loved this film and most likely this will be in my “Top 5 movies of 2023” as I give this beautiful film we call art 4 stars.

The Alien Factor (DVD) – This 1977 Don Dohler film which is his first by the way was one of those VHS boxes that stuck out in all the video stores that had it for rent as a kid for me. Anyway a couple is attacked by a thing in the woods and only one of them survives. Local police believe it is a bear or bobcat at first but begrudging the backwoods folk not waiting for police form a search party and find out firsthand its more than wildlife as the bodies quickly pile up. But happily a dude from the observatory not far downs the road shows up to explain its alien zoo specimen thingys on the loose that escaped a crashed spacecraft. Can the small town folk survive the alien attack? From the beginning Don Dohler made it apparent he was gonna make anything he wanted and have fun making it as this film might be dated but a great wonderful trip down old independent film history lane as I give the movie 2 ½ stars.

Alien Factor 2: Alien Rampage (DVD) – Two decades later Mr. Dohler decides to revisit his first film and give it a sequel. This time around it’s a smaller story of two FBI agents chasing down an alien with a canister near the old small town. The alien suspect is caught as second alien shows up to put up a force field to start slaughtering all the locals. The local police and the FBI must put a stop to this quickly before it becomes a worldwide crisis. This might be the Dohler film you are looking for if as it gets to the point quickly and you will enjoy the large alien slaughter as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Jurassic Shark 3: Seavenge (DVD) – Sadly this film feels like “I am only making this project for the cash Polonia project”. This Mark Polonia film just jumps right into it with a giant shark stalking the beach shortly after an oil rig disaster that also has the local news interest for more than a shark as thieves with a million dollar painting have disappeared nearby. You got all that? Good, because pretty much that’s the plot of the film exception of Sharkenstein showing up for no apparent reason other than “Why not?” If bored quickly by the movie and looking for a laugh pay attention about the 17 or 18 minute mark where Mark Polonia’s character with two others are getting on a yacht (aka mini-boat) for a modeling photo-shoot. There are three random people in the background that try to get closer to see what Mark Polonia is shooting and being the legendary Indy guy he is just doesn’t even try to edit it out? I give this horseshit a ½ star as it did make me laugh at the rando people not supposed to be there.

Portal to Hell!!! (YouTube) – One of the last projects Roddy Piper got to do before he checked out of his very interesting life was a short film where he plays Jack the building maintenance dude. Jack spends most of his time trying to fix things in people’s units until the power goes out. He heads to the basement to find two dudes in their underwear opening a portal to the “Old Ones”. Now it is up to Jack to keep the portal closed? A very hilarious short film worth watching as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Allegoria (DVD) – So Rob Zombie’s brother Spider One has got into the movie game with writing and directing this feature that plays like an anthology but is a story about several characters who are all connected to a demonic presence that has been brought forth into our time. An interesting but not over the top horror project that most likely makes some horror fans happy and others just saying “Pass”. The horror flick is a little more on the artsy side so don’t expect it to exactly fit what you think it is as I give it 2 stars.

Weredeer (DVD) – Hannah and Max are heading to Max’s family house that is out in the middle of nowhere. They have been in a relationship for three years and Hannah feels like it is finally time to meet Max’s family as he avoids them and what better horrible way to meet another family is during the holidays. Max dreads being back home and for good reason as his cousins begin to berate him immediately but that isn’t the worst thing that happens as his girlfriend Hannah is bitten by a deer in the woods. Not feeling good later that evening Hannah excuses herself and quickly becomes a Weredeer that picks off Max’s family one by one! I enjoyed the transformation but even at the short running time of 70 minutes the film feels a bit forced or overstretching this storyline a bit. I did also enjoyed at not one point does anyone think about calling or going to the police as I give this Indy holiday flick 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Sneak preview of the upcoming SEVERE INJURIES blu-ray 2-disk set

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Sneak preview of the upcoming SEVERE INJURIES blu-ray 2-disk set we hope to have out in October! Designed by Matt Gilligan and given a new coat of paint by Ryan Hose.

Unavailable for years, semi-remastered for blu, SEVERE INJURIES tells the story of Melvin Hubble, (Charlie Fleming), last in a long line of unsuccessful serial killers, making a final stab at glory by sneaking into the Rho Rho Rho sorority house, unaware that another killer lurks there too! (But no worries, this second killer is just as inept!)

Directed by and Starring Amy Lynn Best, Robyn Griggs (“Another World”), HCP’s Bill Homan, Jasi Jovingo (“Swamp Thing”), Tim Gross and Brinke Stevens!

Blu-Ray Disk will include Behind-the-Scenes, Outtakes, Interviews and Were-Grrl (including all the rare Were-Grrl extras that haven’t been seen since 2002!)

Bonus disk will contain a bunch of rare Happy Cloud shorts, including many that have never been on disk before. They include:

* NECK UP! A short made in 1995 before we were even Happy Cloud!
* Tenants – Mike Watt’s senior thesis film starring Amy Lynn Best
* 7:45 of the Dead (2013)
* Retreat (2006)
* High Stakes (produced for “Brinke’s Tales of Terror)
* and the latest, ZOM-B-GONE (2018) written by our nieces!

(Bonuse 16mm easter egg, “Whispered Verses” hidden somewhere on there due to a lack of music rights!)

Availability will be announced soon.

Special thanks to Terry Thome, Justin Channell and especially Henrique Couto!

Gross Movie Reviews #433

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Gross Movie Reviews #433

 

Black Water (DVD) – We have a killer action flick on a super-secret sub starring Jean Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, and Patrick Kilpatrick. JCVD is Wheeler who gets caught up in a double cross over a thumb-drive that has secrets that can be sold worldwide. Patrick Kilpatrick is the man who has brought him in and transporting him on a C.I.A. black ops sub that doesn’t exist. Wheeler’s neighboring cellmate just happens to be a German named Marco played by Dolph who cannot be killed because he knows too much and may be to high profile? When things get double-crossed again and no one to trust as people are being killed on the sub Wheeler turns to Marco for help. The movie plays out like “Under Siege” on a sub which isn’t a bad thing. The film is a lot of fun especially because of the Marco character but just feel more could have been done with this action flick. It’s good but not great and potential to be great as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Blood Moon (VHS) – An Australian slasher film from 1990 about an all-girls Catholic high school and its students being stalked and killed by an unknown killer. When a girl and her boyfriend disappear no one blinks an eye except for her best friend who feels something could be going on? But honestly she isn’t too worried as she goes to a dance and meets a dreamy dude who snuck into their dance. Soon more girls disappear and the police begin snooping around a creepy Science teacher who he and his wife have a secret? This flick is your scraping the barrel kind of slasher film that doesn’t have much substance. Remember its 1990 so I am sure this was made on mostly on the cheap. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

The Raiders of Atlantis (DVD) – Hey remember that “Cannibal Holocaust” Deodato dude? Well he made a bunch of other movies for those who may not know. And this gem is a wonderful must-see mess! Released in 1983 under the title “Atlantis Interceptors” in some countries takes “The Road Warrior” rip-off to a whole other off the wall level. Off the coast of Florida some scientists have found an artifact at the bottom of the ocean that proves the existence of Atlantis. They are going to try and move a sunken Russian sub to investigate more. When moved, the sea floor opens, a tidal wave destroys the scientific ocean platform, and a biker gang led by ‘fish bowl man’ begins murdering people on the mainland. The “Atlantis Interceptors” are back to take the mainland from these dumb humans! Never mind asking why they have customized motorcycles with swords on them and cars with guns on them? Just except this mess of a plot hole and thank me later for enjoying a great post-apocalyptic movie about two dudes trying to save the world by flying into Atlantis and fucking shit up! I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Kindergarten Cop 2 (DVD) – So twenty some years later they decided to make a sequel with Dolph Lundgren. Dolph is a F.B.I. agent who goes undercover to question six year olds about a flash drive their old teacher may have hidden? The drive has all the identities of everyone in witness protection. Of course hijinks ensue but not nearly as funny as the original from 1990 starring Arnold. But it had Dolph so I know I am in it for at least one watch as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Welcome to Willits (DVD) – This odd horror flick was a very nice little surprise from 2016. A girl (Anastasia Baranova from “Z Nation”) home from college in her little Northern California town has an uncle and aunt that have a huge weed crop they protect. Her uncle believes aliens are trying to steal his crop and do weird shit to him. This all started when he substituted something in his batch of meth not too long ago and his visions of aliens and a Dolph Lundgren cop show ‘Fists of Justice’ continue to get worse. What doesn’t help is some campers are staying nearby and stumble upon the crop and war is declared as the uncle believes he is killing aliens. This flick is a funny and unexpected gore fest! To give an extra twist is Rory Culkin who shows up as the weird hitchhiker picked up by the campers to give it that extra creep but fun horror factor. Movie fans this is well worth tracking down as I give it 3 stars.

 

In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds (DVD) – Since I have seen one and three it was only fair I eventually checked out the Uwe Boll sequel starring Dolph Lundgren. Dolph is Granger in present day. Granger gets pulled into a time warp which takes him to a distant time where he is called “The Chosen One”. He is deceived into thinking he must go up a mountain and kill the ‘Holy Mother’ who leads the ‘Dark Ones’. But he finds out the truth from the Holy Mother that he is placed into the future as an orphan to potentially return and save them all from the evil king who has deceived all who follow him. Granger’s future world depends on him stopping the king’s evil plan of a plague. Apparently they ran out of Jason Statham money and Uwe Boll had a leftover script from his “House of the Dead” projects and you have this… I give the fantasy flick 1 star.

 

4 Got 10 (DVD) – Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, and Michael Pare are all wrapped up together in this tale of a man who forgets who he is and has a van full of drugs and money. As the man tries to remember what happened, a crooked cop kills the wrong partner and a DEA agent and a drug lord have questions. Your typical direct-to-HULU/NETFLIX jams for weirdoes like me who believe those three names are always gold for action flicks. Or at least worth one watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Children of the Corn: Runaway (DVD) – So John Gulager needed a paycheck so “hey we need someone to direct the ninth entry into this useless series only Tim Gross watches?” A woman named Ruth is trying to escape her past with a cult that killed all their parents over a decade ago. She left when pregnant so her son would have a chance in the normal world. Of course evil has followed her and wants her son. The film isn’t terrible but if you are having trouble sleeping this might help you as I give it 1 star.

 

Hellraiser: Judgment (DVD) – Of course this tenth entry sucked a huge double bag of dicks! Think remake of the fifth entry “Inferno”? If you remotely know what I am talking about please turn away and don’t watch because it will make you feel stupid and angry. For the love of DOUG BRADLEY, $350,000 budget! Thank you Dimension Films for releasing another hot pile donkey shit into the world and just insulting horror movie fans, Clive Barker, and humans in general. Worst movie of 2018! Wait question what is worse? Jeepers Creepers 3 or this entry into the so-called Hellraiser series? Hold on I think I need to go drown myself in the tub while I slit my wrists at the same time. Crap film gets crap move on folks.

Surviving Evil (DVD) – So Billy Zane plays an adventure dude who does a survival show for a cable channel. Zane and his crew head to a supposedly haunted island in the Philippines to shoot their latest episode of the TV show. One of the crew knows of the legends on the island but is choosing to ignore them as he has other motives of why he is there. This crew member knows of Japanese gold that is hidden on the island and is willing to risk his friends and his own life for the payoff. But the legend becomes real when shape-shifting tribe of demons show up and sniff out one of the crew is pregnant. Apparently pregnant women to these cool demons are Yuengling to me? The movie has some great build up, Billy Zane being Billy Zane, lots of gore, and really interesting demon things! This pleasant horror film feels like a really awesome SyFy Channel film that was too awesome to be on the “Sharknado” network. This film gets 3 really kick ass demon stars.

 

Kickboxer: Retaliation (DVD) – In case you haven’t had your fill of these movies JCVD’s character Durand is blinded by a fight promoter and must help Kurt Sloane train again. But this isn’t any ordinary fight as the fight promoter is Christopher Lambert and he is a ruthless rich bastard that wants Sloan to fight a chemically enhanced fighter. So Lambert kidnaps Sloan’s wife and gets Sloan arrested and thrown into a Bangkok prison. There Sloan trains with Mike Tyson and JCVD now that he has no choice to defend his title. If you are an action film fan this will be your bonerjam or your Viagra until they give us another Jason Statham action flick? Really enjoying JCVD doing another one of these as I give it 3 stars and yes Mike Tyson still looks scary even when he is acting.

 

Dune Warriors (DVD) – A post-apocalyptic B-movie mess from 1990, the Corman group producing, and stars David Carradine. A small village is being taken over by some warlords for their water. A woman in the village has had enough and goes out to hire five warriors to help defend the village. If you like watching dumb ass shit like me you’ll enjoy it. Let’s just say it isn’t “Deathsport” or “Battletruck”. I give it barely one Carradine as he was barely there for the paycheck.

 

Lunatics: A Love Story (DVD) – This oddity is truly a love story that stars Ted Raimi as Hank, who is a writer and has not left his apartment in six months. A huge part of it is he keeps having delusions of spiders and a doctor (Bruce Campbell) trying to cut him or give him a shot. His life changes when he believes he is calling a dating line and it happens to be a pay phone. The phone is picked up by Deborah Foreman’s character Nancy, who believes she is a jinx. She just got done getting thrown out of her hotel room, dumped by her boyfriend, and shot a gang member in the foot. On a whim Nancy accepts Hank’s invite to his apartment. Nancy tries to look past all the foil and Hank’s weirdness and they connect for their love of poetry. But Nancy believing she is a jinx runs away only to force Hank to overcome his fear of leaving the apartment to go get the girl. Josh Becker put together a hilarious tale with a great cast that I believe the studios were unsure of how to advertise. When someone brings up you should watch a love story with them go with this flick as I give it 3 ½ stars and you won’t be disappointed or bored.

 

Nightflyers (VHS) – I keep getting this confused with the Stephen Machet flick with killer bats. But this is the 1987 space flick starring Catherine Mary Stewart who is a part of a crew that gets on a ship that might be alive? They are off on a mission and become more curious as they never meet the captain and the Class 10 telepath on board keeps warning them bad shit is going to happen to them. The ship computer controls everything including her son Royd who must have seen “The Last Starfighter” and “Night of the Comet” and realizes how hot Ms. Stewart is and begins to converse with her. Some boring space shit happens, then the ship tries to kill them all, and we get a scene where the telepath gets his face cut in half by a laser “Intruder-style”. Outside of the really cool death by laser scene; the movie seems to suffer several things including many rewrites most likely. But hey it is being remade into a TV show so there is that as I give this flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Argoman: The Fantastic Superman (YouTube) – Oh the shit I couldn’t make up? Sir Reginald Hoover is Argoman. An Italian Batman clone who believes saving the world and keeping peace. But also he loses his powers for six hours if he bangs hot women of 1967. Argoman’s nemesis Jenabell is busy stealing a crown and forcing France to give her all their money. When that isn’t going on Sir Reginald is busy boning Jenabell and will capture her when the time is right. The rest of the movie is Argoman escaping custody and just seeing what else he can do for fun with his amazing powers. The movie doesn’t a whole lick of sense but I was entertained and laughed several times and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Dr. Giggles commentary

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“This town has a doctor and his name is Rendell.

Stay away from his house because he’s the doctor from hell”

 

This week Tim and Kyle have to appease the ghost of Corey Haim because he ate the last podcast.  So… we do a commentary track that has NOTHING to do with Corey Haim.  So enjoy!  And HAIL DRAKE!@!!

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

dr-giggles

Christmas Horror Comes Early! Santa Slasher All Through the House Now on VOD, DVD & Blu-ray

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Los Angeles, CA – Spread the Christmas fear with All Through the House – a Santa slasher film making its U.S. debut on all major VOD platforms October 4, 2016, released by Gravitas Ventures. All Through the House is produced by The Readmond Company. It was written and directed by Todd Nunes. VOD Platforms, hosting the launch, include: iTunes, Vudu, Google Play, Hulu, Playstation, Amazon, and Microsoft. The DVD/Blu-ray version is available on Amazon.

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Jessica Cameron is part of the primary cast. She says of All Through the House: “I have always loved holiday horror films, and am so thrilled to have been involved with two thus far in my career. All Through the House is a refreshing take on the sub genre with a fun 80’s influence that I know the fans will adore as much as I do. The director Todd Nunes, is a phenomenal talent and mark my words, this is just the beginning of what will be a brilliant career. I can not wait to see what he does next!”

Jessica Cameron will join the cast and crew of All Through the House at a DVD/Blu-ray signing on Sunday, October 30, 2:00pm – at Dark Delicacies, in Burbank, CA.

Hot off the festival circuit, All Through the House has received 20 nominations and nine awards including: Best Slasher, Best Editing, and Audience Choice Award (RIP Horror Film Festival, Hollywood), Best Director (Hardcore Horror Fest, Chicago), and Best Local Feature (Another Hole in the Head, San Francisco).

Director Nunes loves slasher films. Nunes says of his latest: “All Through the House is my love letter to the early 80’s slasher films. I think we put together all the right ingredients – scream queens, practical effects, and big scares to make old school horror fans very happy.”

All Through the House stars Ashley Mary Nunes (SYFY’S Robot Combat League), Jessica Cameron (Truth or Dare), Jennifer Wenger (Tales of Halloween), and Lito Velasco (Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy). The film’s gory special effects were created by Tommy Pietch of SYFY’S Face Off and Star Trek: Renegades.

Official Synopsis: Fifteen years ago, a peaceful Christmas neighborhood was engulfed by fear when five-year-old Jamie Garrett was mysteriously taken from her bedroom, never to be seen again. Now on Christmas break, Rachel Kimmel comes home from college to find her neighborhood struck again by a reign of terror. A violent killer is hiding behind a grisly Santa mask, leaving a bloody trail of slaughtered women and castrated men on the steps of the Garrett house. Rachel finds herself in a horrifying nightmare as she discovers the twisted secret behind the mask.

Critical Praise: “Nunes does a fantastic job of making sure to keep the blood flowing and having each kill be distinctive and superb in its own way.” – The Movie Sleuth

“All Through the House is the perfect stocking stuffer, the perfect present under the tree. It’s an unpredictable gore fest filled with holiday cheer and unadulterated horror” – Horror Society

All Through the House was shot in 21 days in the summer of 2014 in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Lake Arrowhead, CA. Director/Writer Todd Nunes is currently at work on his next horror film Death Ward 13, a remake of the cult classic Don’t Look in the Basement.

Full Cast: Ashley Mary Nunes, Jessica Cameron, Melynda Kiring, Jennifer Wenger, Lito Velasco, Natalie Montera, Jason Rayer, Johanna Rae (Natural Born Filmmakers), Cathy Garrett, Matt Poeschl (“Entourage”), Danica Riner, Kelsey Carlstedt, Lyndon Laveaux, Justice Lee, Sarah Miller, Milijana Riner, Noah Boylen, John Nunes, and Sky Boylen.

US • 2016 • 16:9 • Stereo • 95 mins • Unrated

All Through the House, a feature-length film by The Readmond Company, 4700 W. Jefferson Blvd, Suite 101, Los Angeles, CA 90016. allthroughthehousemovie@gmail.com, www.allthroughthehousemovie.com, https://www.facebook.com/allthroughthehouseSLASHER

Official Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88A5sj4nFFs

 

An ‘INTRUSION’ Just in Time for Halloween

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The horror slasher “Intrusion” will be released on DVD and blu ray in the U.S. and Canada on October 27th and soon after worldwide VOD.  

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Fans can pre order the film right now at www.Intrusionmovie.com or http://sglmoviestore.com/horror/intrusion/ where a list of several mainstream retailer links are provided, along with where they’ll be for sale when the film releases on October 27th.

 

“Intrusion” stars Katie Stewart (Overtime, Revelation Trail), Lee Haycraft and Teresa Lawrence (Ace Ventura Jr, Beethoven’s Big Break).

 

Synopsis: Holly Jensen leads an overly dramatic life. It’s one that is spent trying to avoid her problems and forget the past. Best friend Kali has the perfect solution to making Holly feel better. It’s a game called “Wrong Number”. However, the man on the other end finds the joke less than funny and decides to play a game of his own. A game where Holly will become the pawn. It’s a character-driven thriller where everything has consequences and something as beautiful as a rose can be turned into any woman’s, worst nightmare.

 

 

The DVD and blu ray are loaded with special features that include:

-Trailer

-Commentary with Writer/Producer Craig Everett Earl, Katie Stewart, Lee Haycraft and Teresa Lawrence

-Photo Gallery

-Behind the Screams

-Sneak Peek at the upcoming Intrusion:Disconnected sequel due out in 2016 also starring Scream queen Tiffany Shepis  

Here is a link to the trailer to download in HQ if you desire.

http://www.filemail.com/d/qijaxlvbdtgllej

 

 

The trailer can also be seen on the official site at www.Intrusionmovie.com