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Gross Movie Reviews #313

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Gross Movie Reviews #313

 

By Tim Gross

 

Homesick (DVD) – An independent film that was released through Synapse Films that stars the very talented Tiffany Shepis, Bill Moseley, and Tom Towles. Friends at a party one night are visited by a strange man or should I say razor salesman who holds Shepis hostage while he asks questions and cuts himself with razors that were in his suitcase. The questions result in who you want to die? Well after the salesman/Bill Moseley leaves, the friends begin dying one by one and not sure how to stop the killing spree. There is a good amount of gore and a couple uncomfortable scenes for the horror newbies but overall the film was kinda blah and may have be better off with less acting talent and using the money for other things to help the film. I give the movie 2 stars.

 

Fall Down Dead (DVD) – The great Udo Kier plays a serial killer named The Picasso Killer who is chasing his perfect victim on Christmas Eve. If that wasn’t enough David Carradine is thrown in as a security guard and a victim of The Picasso Killer. The script is not great but with the presence of Udo Kier and some awesome gore effects and kept me interested long enough to watch the whole film and give it 2 ½ stars.

swamphead_1

Swamphead (DVD) – It is the mysterious independent screener that was found behind my computer with an email address and no one claiming of giving it to me to review. The film is from Rabid Child Films and is about a man a thousand years ago named Robert Gross (awesome) whose head is separated from his body during a bloody battle and apparently haunts the local Wisconsin woods. Well Gross’s head is pissed off, giving rednecks with a broken arm head in a hot tub, and back to killing local folk. But it’s all up to a paranormal expert, a retard, and three high school kids to stop Swamphead. The independent film is not great by any means but I was entertained by the flying robot and the giant bloodbath. I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Eastern Condors (DVD) – A film from the mid-80s which is along the lines of an international Rambo and Rambo 2 and a better looking Delta Force film starring and directed by Sammo Hung. Two Asian officers are hired by the U.S. government for a super-secret mission where they recruit 10 prisoners with nothing to lose and everything to gain (U.S. citizenship and $200,000) where they would parachute into Vietnam and destroy a secret stash of weapons that the U.S. left when the military pulled out in 1974-1975. What makes the film even more interesting is right before the captain of the mission is about to jump he is told that the mission has been aborted which places an extra spin on this unbelievable action film. This film completely blows away any “Delta Force” flick. This film beginning to end is overflowing with great eye-popping fight scenes and is another example of why I need to find more international films to watch and review! I give the film 4 stars.

 

Absolute Power (DVD) – Another great Clint Eastwood flick that has him playing a thief who is blamed for the death of a rich woman who was having an affair with the President of the United States and is married to the president’s best friend. Eastwood’s character sees everything and escapes when the secret service is trying to cover it up as a burglary gone wrong. Eastwood on the run has been doing this for a long time and knows he needs to disappear far away until the president holds a press conference showing his ignorance to the event and decides he is gonna return the stolen money and jewelry and bring down the president and the people who covered it up. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

The Frozen Ground (DVD) – A film based on a true story stars an old looking John Cusack playing serial killer Robert Hansen who became notorious in 1983 when captured by an Alaskan state trooper for the amount of murders he got away with for over a decade and the exact number may never be known. Nic Cage puts in a good performance as the Alaskan state trooper who helps and uses information given to him by a young hooker who survived an attack by Robert Hansen. Hansen was perceived as the perfect family man with a couple kids, business, etc., but has a history of events that involved abusing women but was never charged and that just fueled his desire to murder whenever the family was out of town. A good film worth tracking down if you enjoy films about true life serial killers as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alien Space Avenger

Alien Space Avenger (VHS) – My obsession for watching bad films has no bounds as this 1988 low budget flick has a cartoonist struggling to keep his job unless he comes up with a new story arc. But before that four alien terrorists escape to earth in the 1930s looking for plutonium for their ship only to find zero and decide to hide in their ship for fifty years. Unearthed by a construction crew, the aliens make their way into New York looking for plutonium for their ship. Then they are to be followed by the struggling cartoonist who uses the aliens for his story arc only to realize they are actually aliens and they will kill him if they can ever get a hold of him. If there was a compliment I could give this flick it would be: This is a USA Up All Night flick if I ever seen one as I give this bad but fun movie 1 ½ stars.

 

Werewolf: The Devil’s Hound (DVD) – Another horrible werewolf film that just feeds the horror fan’s complaints about a good werewolf flick outside of “American Werewolf in London”, “The Howling”, “Ginger Snaps”, “Dog Soldiers”, and the original “Wolf Man”. Nothing redeeming about this boring flick as a werewolf is accidentally sent to a pyrotechnics company by mistake, breaks loose, and attacks anything nearby. If that wasn’t insulting enough the werewolf costume looks like a throw away costume from SyFy Channel’s exclusive film “Yeti”. First rule of making a werewolf film: Have good costume/effects! Second rule: Have money to make a werewolf film or should I say pull one off? I give this waste of space at the video store 0 stars.

 

The Street Fighter (VHS) – It’s 1974 and Sonny Chiba fucks a lot shit up! Including some dude’s ball sack! Sonny is a bad ass mercenary who is trying to protect a billionaire’s daughter. Along the way Chiba even takes on a whole dojo… That is just bad ass as I give this classic 4 stars.

 

Orloff against The Invisible Man (DVD) – The 1970 film has several names but none of them make the film any easier to watch as some scientist dude named Orloff has an invisible gorilla that rapes a bunch of women. Then he dies at the paws and vicious mouths of some German Shepherds! I give it 2 stars.

 

13 Eerie (DVD) – Katherine Isabelle and five other students are testing out in the field as part of their C.S.I. course. They are led out to an island by their professor and maintenance guy where a state prison and a small community have long been abandoned or they think? An extra body is found during student’s test and then disappears only to begin attacking the corpses that were left out for the student’s tests. Soon the small group of people realizes they are being stalked by possible human experiments from the old prison. Cool effects, lots of blood, Katherine Isabelle in another horror film, not your typical zombies, a little throwback to John Saxon’s “Zombie Deathhouse” which all equals that you need to go watch this direct to video horror flick! I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com or pick up a copy at our table at Horror Realm from us March 7-9th, 2014. Go to www.horrorrealmcon.com for more details on the convention.

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #312

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Gross Movie Reviews #312

 

By Tim Gross

 

Razortooth (DVD) – A small southern town that apparently has a mutant eel problem that has the local sheriff and animal control/exterminator confused on how an eel got so big to begin eating people. Meanwhile authorities are looking for two convicts that have escaped and some young campers maybe in danger. The only things missing: Debra Gibson, Tiffany, King Cobra, Pat Morita, Boa, a SyFy channel premiere, but that did not stop me from enjoying the mutant eel glory this film is as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Escape From Tomorrow (DVD) – A family is on their last day of vacation at Disneyworld. They want to enjoy all the rides, food, etc. And that is about the only normal part of the film as the rest almost made my head implode in trying to figure out what I was actually watching. The film goes over the deep end as the father keeps checking out these underage French girls which made the film so creepy, then at some point he has Epcot Center for a head and a scientist freaking out because he is trying to escape. Fuck… I believe I just gave myself a headache trying to explain this film again. Honestly I can’t give it a rating because I am still unsure of what it was I actually watched.

 

Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (VHS) – Nine years after the first film Dar aka Marc Singer is back as the Beastmaster the man who speaks to animals and a lot of us grew up seeing the movie hundreds of times on TBS. This time around Dar must do battle with his evil brother Arklon aka Wings Hauser aka Leatherface, described by Kari Wuhrer’s character in the film. But a witch played by Sarah Douglas shows Arklon there is a parallel universe (1991 L.A.) where he can get a thing called the neutron bomb and could rule the universe. Meanwhile with the help of the young lady played by Kari Wuhrer, Dar learns about cars, music, and clothes. The film is a fun flick to revisit if it’s been awhile since you’ve seen it even if it’s just for laughs. I give the film 2 stars.  Pay attention to the film as you also see Robert Z’Dar and Michael Berryman. And there isn’t any story of the tiger dying from being dyed black.

 

Men of War (DVD) – A film that is of sorts a generic pre-cursor to ‘The Expendables” that stars Dolph Lundgren as a former military vet looking for a job. He gets one where he and a team of ex-military types must wipe out some people off an island for a business venture. Once he gets there he has a change of heart and wants to help the island natives in defending their island. A pretty cool direct to video action film that doesn’t have any real slow parts and you get to see Dolph kick some ass in Thailand. I give it 3 stars.

 

Prisoners of the Lost Universe (VHS/YouTube) – A real low budget fantasy film about a scientist (Dr. Hartman) that has come up with a machine that opens a portal to another world. During an earthquake characters Dan and Kerry get sucked into the portal and find themselves where a man played by John Saxon controls all humans by making them slaves if they do not join his army to rule everyone. Richard Hatch plays the lead in this very awful but in a good way fantasy film where Dan and Kerry must defeat John Saxon in order to free everyone and find their portal back to 1983 earthquake ridden California! I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Mandroid (DVD) – An executive produced Charles Band film about two scientists in present day (1993) Eastern Europe who have developed a virtual reality driven droid that is indestructible but also controlled by a person with a virtual reality device from long distances and does tasks such as moving radioactive materials. When the scientists have a falling out after the US government is about to pick up “Mandroid” there is a fight between one scientist Drago and Benjamin Knight the controller of Mandroid in the lab and Benjamin falls into an experiment that changes his life. He eventually begins to turn invisible. Meanwhile Drago is scarred during the struggle and is determine he will have his creation and make it a military weapon. After Drago is believed to be defeated the film is to be continued… in “Invisible: The Chronicles of Benjamin Knight”. I give the movie 2 stars.

 

Invisible: The Chronicles of Benjamin Knight (DVD) – The executive produced sequel from Charles Band was released in the same year as Mandroid where the adventure continues. Benjamin Knight is feeling better but invisible at times and comes back to the lab to find friends Dr. Zonna Zimmer and former government agent in a relationship and trying to find a cure to Mr. Knight’s invisibility. But soon they all discover that Drago is still alive and wants Zimmer’s formula as he is running out of test subjects for a cure for himself. Ben Knight uses his invisibility along with Mandroid to defeat Drago for good this time. Not totally sold on why it had to be split into two films but that was what Charles Band and Full Moon did on several projects in the early 90s. Most likely to boost profits more than anything. It’s a fun throwback to the Universal original on a small budget in Romania and for that I give the movie 2 stars.

 

The Bay (DVD) – A film that is more of a documentary and tells a story through a series of clips, film footage, and cell phone images an event that happened on July 4, 2009 in Maryland where over 700 residents died from a deadly parasite that mutated from steroids that was in chicken shit dumped into the ocean. The parasites look like giant potato bugs or pill bugs that actually feed on the inside of a fish’s tongue and stomach. The story is narrated by a reporter Donna Thompson who witnessed the event first hand. She is now coming forward with the story as many witnesses have disappeared or have been paid off to not to talk. My only problem with the movie was I thought the CDC would have moved in sooner instead the film betrays the CDC as the biggest bad guy throughout the film which I find somewhat hard to believe but I do like conspiracies, so I have to give the 2 ½ stars.

To Die 

To Die is Hard (DVD) – From the brilliant mind of “Midget Zombie Takeover”, independent filmmaker Glenn Berggoetz gives us an independent comedy/action spoof that mostly covers “Die Hard”.  An English professor named Joe has a perfect life where his perfect wife and perfect kid adore him as he goes off to his State College on a Friday morning when most staff and students are off for the day. But during this perfect day some bad dudes aka terrorists break into the State College office because they need a key to a room that holds their treasure which just so happens to be office supplies. But the terrorists have picks the wrong state college to break into as Joe McCann is just a pissed off English professor that will not take this lying down. So Joe goes into awesome ultimate male action star mode to bring down the terrorists where he ends it with ‘heart punching’ the leader Anton to death!  Everything from scenes of Joe telling stories of his softball team, a co-worker trying to figure out tea bagging, Joe’s wife and daughter talking about him being a Greek goddess with a straight face, or the detective eating cheese puffs outside doing nothing made me have tears stream out of my eyes cause I was laughing so hard. Spoofs especially independent ones can be hard to pull off but in this case Glenn and company did a wonderful job with this great flick. And who cannot like characters getting slapped in almost every scene “Airplane-style” for no apparent reason as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.drivingeyes.com .

The Worst Movie

The Worst Movie Ever! (DVD) – Once again Glenn Berggoetz stars, directs, produces, writes a film about being the worst movie ever. So aliens are about to attack earth with an alien robot that two scientists already know about the attack but do not want to panic anyone by telling the world. Meanwhile, there are two kids playing adult daytime soap opera roles as I had to watch some scenes twice as I kept laughing too hard listening to their dialogue. If that wasn’t enough we also have two adults playing teenager roles complaining about their mom and what to do about the dance Friday night, along with lots of singing, slapping, overacting, pillow stabbing, aluminum foil, boom mic keep falling into scenes, random scenes of Santa Claus, awkward condom talk, and Jesus Christ… All this going on while Botar the CG’d alien robot tries to kill all humans. All the characters eventually cross paths and have to brainstorm together in order to stop Botar. It really does sound like a god awful flick but actually is really entertaining and funny as you wonder how some characters even keep a straight face during filming. I got give Glenn props for not purposely making another “Troll 2” and for that I give the film 3 out of 4 stars as the film can be found at www.drivingeyes.com .

 

Race With The Devil (DVD) – Peter Fonda and Warren Oates go on vacation with their wives only to be ruined when drinking one night and they just happen to witness a possible sacrifice in the woods by a bunch of witches. But them reporting it to the police isn’t the end of it as they try to drive further away from the incident they are tracked down to the end of the film to be punished for what they saw. A very creepy 70s film that has witches, sacrifices, and R.G. Armstrong, that makes you think twice about hitting the open road and visiting some of the small towns in America. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

The Rest is Very Boring (DVD) – Independent filmmaker Jorge Delarosa and The Slow Mutants crew are always doing something different go with a new film project that tells a story of a good friend of theirs named Frank Bochard. Now, I do not know this person and most likely you don’t either but what makes the film interesting is we all know a person or have a friend that is Frank Bochard who is talented, lives on the fringe of life, a person you wanna know, and goes by the beat of their own drum. And this film documents the life of Frank Bochard up until his untimely end. His friends, family, and teachers tell stories and bring you into what Frank was like. Just like Frank Bochard, Jorge Delarosa and The Slow Mutants crew give you another very interesting and very emotionally moving project that keeps expanding what you can do independently these days and they should be proud as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. You can always find out more about it at www.slowmutants.com .

 

Remote Control (VHS) – Its 1987 and Jeff Lieberman is involved you know you are in for a treat as a young Kevin Dillon plays a video store clerk who finds himself attracted to a beautiful young lady who comes into the store with a guy friend who just happens to be looking for the newest hot movie called, “Remote Control”. This video isn’t just an ordinary movie as a couple minutes in the viewer becomes part of the film and is either killed or kills another person. When Dillon and his friend who also works the video store figure this out they try to stop the film from being reproduced on VHS for other video stores and find out it is all being controlled by aliens who want to rule the earth. Apparently Home Video can kill all of mankind! The film is cheesy good late 80s fun that I give 2 ½ stars too.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com or pick up a copy at our table at Horror Realm from us March 7-9th, 2014. Go to www.horrorrealmcon.com for more details on the convention.

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #309

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Gross Movie Reviews #309

 

By Tim Gross

 

West of Memphis (DVD) – A great documentary about the now legendary story of injustice of three youths who are now almost twenty years older and finally seeing the sun, sky, etc., outside of the prison walls. The film takes you through the tragic events that unfolded in West Memphis when a couple of children went missing. When there was no person that clues pointed to at the time, authorities immediately blamed three teenagers that were considered outsiders at the time. The misguided justice ruined many lives besides the now famous “West Memphis Three”, but parents of the missing and murdered children. Theories have been thrown out there; a couple HBO films called “Paradise Lost” were made about the horrible event, even people accused of the murders has been proven innocent. If you believe they did it or not this documentary point out what is really wrong with the justice system and the people who have to have too much power. Great film as I give a perfect 4 stars.

 

The Raid: Redemption (DVD) – You haven’t seen all action films until you have witnessed not watched, witnessed this non-stop action film. A task force of police are gathered and on their way to a high-rise building to bring down a drug lord. One problem the drug lord runs the whole building including security, has fellow patrons living there, and other gangs have died horrible deaths just trying to kill the drug lord. Once inside one man realizes they are trapped and knows they may not escape until he finds out his brother is the drug lord’s right hand man. Fun, brutal, fucking off the wall action you have never seen before. I have to give the film 4 stars.

 

Bering Sea Beast (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Its cheesy, its gory, it’s hilarious… Sea Vampires! Fishermen have to fight off creatures that look like the underwater version of the creature in “Graveyard Shift”! And it blows up in UV light! I give it 2 ½ stars, thank god for SyFy Channel.

 

Men in Black 3 (DVD) – Agent K must go back in time to help save Agent J as alien finds a time machine to go back and kill him so an invasion to destroy earth happens. The more I watched this film the more I kept asking myself why there was a sequel 15 years later… I give it 2 stars.

Hypothermia

Hypothermia (DVD) – Michael Rooker and his family go to the family cabin to ice fish on their vacation. Trying to not offend or ruin a perfect winter day Rooker’s son explains to him he and his girlfriend is going into the peacecore for two years. Rooker being okay with it notices something weird in the water below and that is when the fishing lines get pulled in. After talking to a father/son duo ice fishing they start to think there may be something bigger under the ice? A cool creature film with a shitting looking creature but some awesome gore effects, plus it stars Michael Rooker. I give it 2 ½ stars.

anthropophagous2000

Anthropophagous 2000 (DVD/YouTube) – Imagine a horrible no money independent remake made in 1999 that stars as Kyle Poling put it, “a bootleg George Eastman”. The movie is poorly done and was surprised it claims to pay homage rather than just try to be a direct sequel? Movies like this are what makes horror fans questioned what is considered movies these days… I give it 0 stars as it may be one of the worst films I have sat through.

 

Stonados (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Underwater volcanoes cause a disturbance in the atmosphere that picks up shit like Plymouth Rock and hurl it towards the Boston Harbor. I know the film is a big bag of poop but someone has to review this shit! It all can’t be Sea Vampires, Tara Reid, and Sharknados. I give it 1 star.

 

Freedom Strike (DVD) – Michael Dudikoff and commandoes take on Iraq in this film from 1998 that comes off like a cheap boring version of “Delta Force”. Dudikoff needs to get someone to cast him in the next ‘Expendables’ film. I give it 1 star.

 

Black Roses (DVD) – Filmmaker John Fasano fresh off “Rock ‘N’ Roll Nightmare” makes a horror film about a heavy metal band named “Black Roses” who produces music in the studio and want to begin their live concert career but want to work out some bugs. Meanwhile the parent groups, church groups, etc., are protesting the first concert in Mill Basin history. The parent groups want you to believe the band ‘Black Roses’ is evil and they will possess the teenagers and make them worship Satan. Which the sad part is the parent group was right in this case. This film has some cool looking creatures, cool music, and actually captures a piece of history of what it was like in the late 80s with parent groups and heavy metal music. If you are over 30, sit back and enjoy a fun horror flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

Insidious (DVD) – The horror film starts off calmly and creepy like “Poltergeist” where a couple of three children buy a new home and the middle child suffers a fall in the attic. What seems like a small bump to the head turns into something else as the kid does not wake up in the morning for school. Doctors don’t know what it is since it isn’t a coma and the parents don’t have answers. A few months go by and the mother begins to see and hear things, ghosts. The family moves to another home only to be followed by the same spirits. Soon grandma brings a friend in to explain the kid is fine but his spirit is somewhere else and other evil spirits are trying to get in since the father is haunted. The film starts off great but fizzles when it tries for its surprise ending. I give it 2 stars as I expected a little better from James Wan.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #307

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Gross Movie Reviews #307

 

By Tim Gross

 

Wake in Fright (VHS/YouTube) – Well here goes an odd film of sorts from Australia, 1971. The film stars a crazy drunken Donald Pleasance who believes he knows how to get through life for free but that’s just part of this dramatic serious film. John Grant is a teacher on vacation that seems unhappy with the state of his job and life mainly because in this time period teachers are bonded and need a thousand bucks to buy themselves out. During a layover waiting for the next train in a small and rough mining town, Mr. Grant takes in the sights along with the gambling and drinking. Days pass and Mr. Grant soon finds he is ready to shoot himself. Donald Pleasance is a highlight of this dramatic film but that story is far more interesting as it gives you a look of one teacher’s perceptive in 1971 Australia. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Raymond

Raymond Did It (DVD) – A Travis Legge independent film that revolves around two brothers. One brother, Bryce is your normal teenager, the other, Ray is mentally handicapped but the brothers hang together at all times or when mom says so. Well the brothers go out with Paige and Tammy and others to the park. Paige constantly gives Raymond a hard time until Bryce steps in and Tammy speaks up but a scuffle breaks out and Bryce falls into a tree and dies accidentally. Everyone except Tammy go in on a plan to blame Raymond. Six years have pass and all the friends are getting together at a party. Even Tammy goes who seems to be a recluse since the accident and it all takes place on the day Raymond escapes from authorities. Tammy still relives the tragic day as all her friends simply forgot about it as in their words “the re re deserved it”! Well guess what Raymond is pissed and wants revenge. We have death by washing machine (aka warshing machine if you live in Pittsburgh), very cool death by lawnmower, and we have a death of a dude where we see the aftermath of him lying on a shower curtain on the floor in blood with the shower curtain protecting the floor from all the fake blood. The independent film doesn’t go full slasher mode as Travis allows his talent to give the film some soul of not going down the same road slasher film fans are use too when watching such a flick. I love the gore, the direction of the film was brilliant, and filmmaker Travis Legge really made you feel for the characters of Tammy and Raymond. Like I said an independent slasher film with soul and as a horror movie fan I believe you can’t ask for much more. I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars and did I mention death by lawnmower was pretty fucking awesome? You can purchase the film and find out more at: https://www.facebook.com/RaymondDidIt and http://www.amazon.com/Raymond-Did-It/dp/B00B691NV4 .

 

Grave Halloween (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Another supported horror film on SyFy Channel that fails to be interesting as a college girl is haunted by dreams of her real mother and decides to travel where she committed suicide. Not only does she believe it will help her get past the suicide but allows her best friend to do a documentary on it. Oh yeah she died in a supposedly haunted forest in Japan. I just have that feeling if the film was done more in the vein of Asian cinema instead this American bastard version it would have been more interesting. I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Resident Evil: Retribution (DVD) – If the films before this didn’t prove it then this film made sure for the stupid people you understand that Paul W.S. Anderson has some weird fantasy of his wife fighting monsters and evil corporate types in slow motion all while wearing leather and sharing it to the world. Mr. Anderson I rather just see the sex tapes not this poor excuse for another sequel that just baffles me how Hollywood hasn’t wanted to remake this whole fucking franchise? And who is giving you the budget to film these things you call films? Outside of part three this film goes about its way of insulting any fan of the original scary ass video game series of the late 90s who may still be paying attention. I watched the film for free and feel I should get money back anyway. Do yourself a favor horror fans stop supporting, go watch the two animated features, and start email blasting Hollywood why Alexander Aja hasn’t got the call to remake this series yet? I give it crap because it is crap!

 

The Aftermath (VHS) – A lower budget, mutants, and three some years before ‘Def-Con 4’ is this sci-fi flick about two astronauts who come back to earth after a very long mission only to find we all fucking nuke each other. While trying to come to grips with the situation the astronauts try to make the best of it until they have a run in with a wannabe cult leader named Cutter played by Sid Haig who has his followers kill the men and keep the women and eventually kill the children when they get annoying. If you are able to lay your hands on a copy of the film it does have a couple interesting extras from the filmmakers and some from the Corman group talking about the film. I give the apocalypse sci-fi flick 2 stars.

 

Mr. Nice Guy (DVD) – Jackie Chan is just a cook… on a cooking show in Melbourne and gets mixed up with a reporter who just happens to film incriminating evidence against a crime boss. Soon Jackie is running through malls hitting people with food, jumping onto trucks, almost getting his nuts cut off by a band saw. A good Jackie Chan film but from one of his best films you need to see as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Saturday Morning Massacre (DVD) – A film that pretty much tries to make the Scooby-Doo gang a little older and at least admit they do drugs go to a mansion to investigate ghosts that have haunted the old place for years. If you get pass the complete Scooby-Doo rip-off you might enjoy the payoff in the end or just go get high and watch Scooby-Doo and Blair Witch Project on dual screens to get the same effect. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Cruising (DVD) – A very interesting crime thriller starring Al Pacino who is a young police officer who is given the chance to make detective. But he must go undercover for Paul Sorvino into New York’s dark underbelly of the gay community to find an unknown gay serial killer who keeps stacking up bodies around the city. The film does not go your typical route of normal cop thrillers as it has Pacino’s character really get involved into an unknown world of gay bars, hook-ups, etc. Pacino puts in a great performance as his character is even showing he has problems sexually with his girlfriend when he has exposed himself to so much he did not know about gay males. The film is smart, interesting (especially for its time of New York’s glory days and before HIV-positive), and leaves you wondering if Pacino’s character get the right guy? If you are the type film fanatic always looking for a different film, do yourself a favor and watch this flick as I got to thank Russ Rutter for this recommendation. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #306

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Gross Movie Reviews #306

 

By Tim Gross

 

Wrath of the Titans (DVD) – Years have passed since Perseus has fought the Kraken and people no longer believe in the great Greek gods. He now has a son and is trying to live a normal life of a fisherman. But when the God of War and the brother of Zeus decide to unleash hell on earth Zeus tries to lure Perseus out of his retirement to save what’s left of the gods and warns him what is imprisoned in Hates may destroy all human life. So Perseus with the help of the son of Poseidon go on a quest to save Zeus and humans alike. An entertaining popcorn flick but it will never be as much as the 1982 classic we all know and love as I give it 2 stars.

Blood of Redemption

Blood of Redemption (DVD) – One of the newest action films starring Dolph Lundgren as a bodyguard for a mob boss and his youngest son. The mob boss is trying to keep his youngest out of the business and soon knows the oldest is trying to make a play on running his business. On top of that Dolph gets fucked over and disappears for a short time only to reappear for revenge and revenge only! Not the best of action plots but when the film also stars Vinnie Jones, Robert Davi, and Billy Zane you know I was going to watch it just out of curiosity. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Edge of Sanity

Edge of Sanity (DVD) – Anthony Perkins does his impression of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in this 1989 sexually violent horror film that was lambasted by the MPAA even before its release. Perkins plays the good doctor who is on the verge of something big with his experiments with cocaine. But one night after a slight mishap with his experimental monkey the drug changes Perkins into a sexually charged murderer as bodies begin to pile up around London. The film has lost a little edge 25 years later because what some horror fans have had a chance to witness. The film was quickly buried after its VHS release and was hard to find an uncut version unless you were near the one or two ma and pa video stores that actually bought it. The film deserved a better fate than it had as Perkins cements his role as one of the scariest actors in all horror films with his performance. The film would make a great partner for fans who enjoy ‘A Clockwork Orange’ and looking for something just as bold… I give the film 3 stars.

Dredd (DVD) – Karl Urban reprises the legendary comic book movie role that Sly Stallone destroyed in the big budgeted flop years ago and brings it out of the ashes with its no nonsense back to what the character was and everyone enjoyed about it. Kick ass, in your face, violent action! I felt the film was cut a little short but was an excellent comeback for a franchise that never had the chance to get off the ground in the first place with great casting of Karl Urban. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

Anthropophagus (DVD) – The brutal Italian horror film from 1980 also known as ‘The Grim Reaper’ to some here in the states has had the special DVD treatment for horror fans to enjoy in all its baby chomping glory! The film is about friends traveling by boat to an island that seems to be abandoned until they find a blind girl screaming in a barrel of blood and a story of a crazed cannibal stalking the island. Not believing her at first the friends soon become lunch and dinner for George Eastman’s famous baby munching character gorehounds will always remember. The film can be very boring and seems to have lots of random walking scenes but makes up for it till this day with its shocking and violent scenes. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Anthropophagus 2 (VHS) – The film is most widely known as ‘Absurd’ but has several names: Horrible, Monster Hunter, The Grim Reaper 2, and Zombie 6: Monster Hunter. Joe D’Amato is back directing George Eastman in this weird sequel-not-sequel where a priest is stalking a man who has the unique ability to heal quickly and just happens to murder people for the hell of it. For the most part George Eastman plays the same exact character from the first film but without the skin condition and trying to eat people’s babies except when he spends seven minutes of screen time to bake a babysitter’s head to get to a couple of kids in their mansion. The movie is boring for big spans of time like the first ‘Anthropophagus’ but has some crazy violent death scenes that makes you as a horror fan to sit through it. I give the film 2 stars.

Star Trek: Into Darkness (DVD) – The J.J. Abrams sequel refuses to disappoint as he not only once again reinvents the Star Trek universe but stick with what made the original films good. This time young Kirk and crew are faced with an old enemy in Khan. But this time it has a different twist where Khan is just the cover for something bigger going on inside the Federation as someone is just trying to cover up the Federation is actually preparing for war more than peacekeeping missions through space. The film is once again a great sequel, prequel, remake that ends with opening all new universes of stories to be told because of its great blending of old and new characters and storyline. The new Star Trek series doesn’t just have me excited but I stand erect as hell waiting for the next film as this series for me maybe the last hope of me still paying attention to Hollywood. I give this fine sci-fi flick 4 stars and the people who don’t like it can go shove it up there asses as they have no fucking souls!

The Silencer (DVD) – A 1999 film starring Michael Dudikoff in a low budgeted version of Chuck Bronson’s ‘The Mechanic’. I give it 3 stars.

Horror Stories (DVD) – A great Korean anthology that will have American horror fans wetting their pants in happiness of getting a copy as this Asian anthology doesn’t disappoint in its four fun horror stories and wrap around. The wrap around begins with a man kidnapping a teenager because he cannot sleep and wants her to tell him a scary story to put him to sleep. The first film ‘Don’t Answer the Door’ is very creepy as it shows why kids need to make sure the door stays shut and locked. The second film is called ‘Endless Flight’ and a serial killer should never be trusted even on an empty flight to prison. ‘Endless Flight’ has a bucket of gore. The third film ‘Secret Recipe’ may be the most interesting story of the anthology as the best way I can describe is two step sisters fight over the Asian version of Hannibal Lector but they do not know that just yet… The fourth story ‘Ambulance on the Death Zone’ is a solid film but possibly the weakest if there is one of the anthology as a paramedic van stops to pick up two survivors but the doctor on board believes the child is bitten and will turn into a zombie. Mother swears she won’t and will do anything to make it back to the hospital. The anthology has its moments of gore, creepiness, and solid writing that makes it hard to not want to watch it again and give it 3 out of 4 stars. The film can be found at www.artsploitation.com .

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed project from Daniel Boyd and myself called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #305

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Gross Movie Reviews #305

 

By Tim Gross

 

Freaks (DVD) – A misunderstood classic when first released in 1932. Many were sickened, disgusted, and just didn’t care for the film. But over the years that followed its original release it gained cult status for its subject matter which is circus freaks and how they turn on a circus performer who mocks them. Even when the so-called circus freaks accept Cleopatra she still mocks. So the circus freaks get together and plan her demise when the show is on the move to the next town. These days the film may not have the impact it once did but still sheds light on a cultural divide even in today’s society. I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

Bad Ass (DVD) – A very corny action flick starring Danny Trejo as an aging Vietnam vet who is just tired of the younger generation being complete asses and beats two skinheads up on a bus when going home one day when they wouldn’t leave no one alone. The event is caught on people’s cellphone videos and it goes viral. Things are going great for Trejo’s character until his best friend is killed for a flash drive that contains some highly illegal activity being done by the mayor played by Ron Perlman. Like I said it’s corny but entertaining as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Taken 2 (DVD) – Liam Neeson is back as the super-agent who is trying to learn how to be a father and accept his wife is married to someone else. This time around he is the one that is kidnapped along with his wife while on vacation and it’s up to his daughter Maggie Grace who seems to still be playing a high school student but is like 30 years old in real life… But anyway she has to be the one to help out super-agent dad or him and mom will be killed! Lots of brutal violence and action sequences make this a film you cannot blink while watching or you’ll miss something. I give the action film 3 stars.

ids_rising_amber_movie_poster_by_joypadmaster-d5dlgj3

IDS Rising (DVD) – Cory J. Udler continues one of my favorite independent film storylines “Incest Death Squad” in this third film that picks up with Amber believed to be dead but is in a coma at a hospital for the past three months after the big shoot out ending of the second film. She is taking a verbal beat down from her brother Jeb but we soon learn she is in a coma. Two-thirds of the film takes place in Amber’s mind as she tries to find answers on why things happen the way they did and why she is still alive only to learn a whole lot more when she is visited by all of her dead friends and parents in her dream state. Best way to describe the film is ‘Prophecy 3’. I enjoyed the second film more but this sequel is a great tie film as it explains a lot about Jeb, Amber, their fucked up parents plot and why Amber is like the way she is. This sequel is a nice way to wrap up a trilogy with also leaving the door open to possibly revisit the ‘Incest Death Squad’ without hurting the fun films that came before it. Why I describe it as ‘Prophecy 3’. Mr. Udler does another good job of keeping me entertained with another entry of twisted and sick fun he calls ‘IDS rising aka Incest Death Squad 3’. I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. You can purchase the film or find out more about Cory J. Udler at www.incestdeathsquad.com .

 

World War Z (DVD) – At first I had high hopes when Brad Pitt’s company bought the film rights. But once I heard a bigger studio was getting involved and the budget ballooned over the $100 million I stopped being excited and hoped it wasn’t an ‘I Am Legend’ fiasco again… So I sat down to finally make myself watch this flick. A mysterious virus has hit the world and all are turning into zombies at an alarming rate. Brad Pitt reacts as if he has seen it before and helps his family get rescued by the UN to a Navy vessel. From Pitt’s character goes searching for a cure to the zombie plague and its origins. While he is searching the globe the zombies are taking over the planet until he has found a way to camouflage humans from being lunch. I believe this is the first big budget popcorn summer flick. In other words the film didn’t suck but is forgettable. I will stick with Romero, O’Bannon, Fulci, and Nazi zombies as I give this film 2 stars.

 

The Colony (DVD) – Years into the future where global warming took a header and one day it started to snow and has never stopped. With freezing temps, very little food, and human connection, humanity is in trouble unless it finds a way to reverse the weather problem or a new food source. The film stars a paranoid Bill Paxton and Laurence Fishburne who leads Colony 7 who has lost contact with Colony 5 but receives a distress call a week later. A small team goes to visit only to find blood, destruction, and a scared survivor who claims they have found a warm spot 40 miles north. When the team investigates the screams and noises they run for their lives after finding what happened to the Colony. It soon follows the team back home for a fight for its life where flu is no longer the only enemy. At any point during the film I was waiting for 1982 Kurt Russell to pop out of nowhere looking for “Childs”! The movie is great but swings and misses on a key plot point that I thought could have made the film one of the top five films of 2013 when do not explain more about the weather machines??? Hell, there looks to be a scene missing when they arrive at one weather machine on their way to Colony 5. This film is still pulse pounding fun terror and violence and worth seeking out as it was dropped from theater release earlier in 2013. I give the film 3 stars.

 

Scarecrow (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A big steamy pile of rat shit called a horror film about a small town legend of a killer scarecrow spirit that begins to kill high school students that were on a Saturday detention field trip. Where’s fucking Larry Drake when you need him? Save yourself the time and punch yourself in the face you’ll at least feel better in 90 minutes than watching this flick, I give it 0 stars.

Young Blood

Young Blood: Evil Intentions (DVD) – Two young sisters that are not happy with mom’s choice in men decide they need a change or at least the older sister Anavey convinces the younger sister Anastasia it’s a change for the better.  Anavey uses the best line I have heard in a film this year: “I am 75% sure it might work!” to convince her. Once the sisters are vampires, the older sister Anavey explains the rules and what is needed to be done for Anastasia to go full vamp. Then she assembles a vampire cult with all the town’s children to begin killing all adults she does not like. The film is a crossover of ‘Children of the Corn’ and an adult version of the ‘Goosebumps’ show. The independent movie has its moments of comedy, great cameos, violence, and funny jabs at the ‘Twilight’ vampires and I enjoy its take on a small southern town reacting to kid vampires. But its 100 minute running time makes the film seem to be dull in parts or the story stretched a little too thin. This is a common mistake among a lot of beginning filmmakers and gets corrected over time as they learn more and experience the process with more projects. Overall it’s entertaining and I enjoy its late 80s shot on VHS feel as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. You can purchase and support the independent film at www.youngbloodmovie.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed project from Daniel Boyd and myself called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #304

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Gross Movie Reviews #304

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Hard Corps (DVD) – Jean-Claude Van Damne plays a war vet back in the states and living at the VA hospital trying to get past his traumatic stress. A friend comes to visit with an offer he cannot refuse and it’s to help protect a local man who has capitalized on his boxing career into a business man who is building up his old community. Problem is the man has made an enemy of the local Hip Hop producer who he thought would be in jail for many years to come is out back on the streets and wants revenge. JCVD plays the ultimate bodyguard in this fun violent action flick that went mostly unnoticed a few years back. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Big Ass Spider! (DVD/Theater) – This crazy monster flick is from the same guy that gave us the demon nouns in ‘The Convent’ which I believe is one of the best Halloween horror films and one of the better horror films the newer generation of horror filmmakers out there. Exterminator stubbles upon a major spider problem after going to the hospital after a spider bite. He makes a deal with the director to check out and resolve the spider issue if they clear his bill for services. The exterminator inspects what’s going on and soon understands that everyone is in trouble when a monstrous spider is quickly eating people and getting bigger every four hours inside the hospital until it breaks out. It is soon revealed the spider is a military experiment mistake. Now, with the spider increasing quickly, the military wants to drop bombs on L.A. before it is too late. A lot of famous cameos and a great performance by Ray Wise as an army major calling the shots make this monster film a fun one. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Babysitter Massacre (DVD/Theater) – The never resting filmmaker Henrique Couto is back with his latest project that will make a lot of 80s and early 90s horror fans happy as this throwback slasher of sorts has lots of violence, chubby boobs, and a fun plot that makes fun but respects the genre. Couto blends fun characters into a plot of a babysitter club of teenage girls that several years ago always took care of each other until an unfortunate and tragic event happens to one of them on Halloween night. The club disbanded after that but one girl wants to have a party with all the old members of the club even if they hate or blame one of their own. But the strange faceless figure is back and some of the girls are not going to make the party as they are being killed one by one. Mr. Couto not only gives what the horror crowd of 80s wants but also keeps the plot interesting enough for today’s sometimes cynical horror movie fans. With that I give Mr. Couto’s film 3 out of 4 stars as he always strives to be one step ahead of the independent filmmaking world…

 

Satan’s Little Helper (DVD) – Jeff Lieberman directs this all too close to home horror film about a kid who wants to go trick or treating as a video game character named Satan’s Little Helper. The kid is excited about his older sister coming home from college to keep the tradition of trick or treating together alive. But when the big sister brings home her boyfriend the kid has a spaz attack and runs away to find a person dressed as Satan and the kid begins to hang with him or be his helper thinking it’s just like the video game. The kid believes it’s all in good Halloween fun with Satan killing people, stealing stuff, etc., until Satan kills his father when the kid gets upset. Intentional or not the film takes a look into children’s minds when they cannot decide between real life and video games in this creepy horror flick. The film came out 2004 and I believe its subject matter feels like it has been ripped out of the headlines now nine years later. What makes the film work is the Satan costume and how the character in the costume is portrayed in the film. It is brilliant. I only had a minor issue of the Satan character finding a way to make all think it is the boyfriend’s father who was in the costume but it’s only minor. ‘Satan’s Little Helper’ is a different and cool Halloween movie for fans to enjoy as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Skinless

The Ballad of Skinless Pete (DVD) – Dustin Wayde Mills takes Re-Animator, The Resurrected, Croenberg’s The Fly, and Lovecraft elements and combines them into this amazing, wonderful, and beautiful film about a doctor that may have found a cure for cancer. Pete is Dr. Peel and is driven by an incredible sex drive and the need to find funding in what he believes could cure cancer with the help of his partner/roommate/friend Dr. Cross. Dr. Peel believes that enzymes taken from a certain worm and genetically altering them could be the cure, but they have run out of funding and guinea pigs. After an argument with Dr. Cross, Pete uses himself as the human test subject after finding out he has cancer. At first it works and he is cancer free but soon his body turns on him and eats his skin away. Weeks pass and Dr. Cross and their main investor go to check in on Dr. Peel only to find him half-crazed and possibly mutating into something this world has never imagined? But that isn’t the only thing happening as Dr. Peel craves flesh! The film is absolutely disgusting in a very beautiful way. The special effects are just amazing on an independent budget and actually are a character of the film. Dustin Wayde Mills may have made his best film yet… I give the flick 4 out of 4 stars and more can be found out about it at: www.facebook.com/dustin.w.mills or www.facebook.com/dustinmillsproductions . When watching the film I got two words for you, “Vagina Mace!”

 

The Pit and The Pendulum (DVD) – Stuart Gordon and Charles Band team up to produce this project originally called ‘The Inquisitor’ that was released in 1991 and still to this day is an underrated flick that has a great cast that includes the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen as Torquemada. Torquemada is the Grand Inquisitor of Spain and is trying to purify the village of witchcraft. During a public death and whipping of a young boy a simple baker’s wife screams for the whipping to stop and throws herself in the way. About to be beaten by guards, Torquemada runs to her rescue only to be stunned by an image he takes as witchcraft and has her arrested so she can be tortured and give confession. Maria’s husband tries to explain her actions to Torquemada but to no avail they throw him out and threaten to throw him in prison. Undeterred the husband makes a bargain to get into the castle and save his wife while Torquemada takes upon himself to test her for witchcraft but believes he has been placed under her spell to love her and has himself flogged until the images or visions go away. Driven to the point of a psychotic break the Pope has sent someone to the castle to explain to Torquemada the torturing must stop and the witch hunt must be done. A great time period horror flicks that all it was missing is the Hammer Films name at the beginning and Vincent Price character. One of the best early Full Moon films to be produced as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Tingler (DVD) – A great example of horror films from back in the 50s from William Castle that actually made a film about a thing that comes from the spine of all humans that can only be stopped by people screaming in fear. The film is quite dated and loses its luster for most film fans that were not there when the film was originally produced and the experience of their seats being rigged with electric shock to make them jump out of their seat during the screening. Vincent Price plays a good doctor trying to stop the Tingler. ‘The Tingler’ is another film that remind movie fans why Vincent Price was the perfect genre actor. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Bath Salt Zombies (DVD) – Another independent film from Dustin Wayde Mills who plays a chemist/drug dealer named Bubbles who has come up with a new batch of “super bath salts” drug for the public. The guinea pig is a junkie named Richie. Richie after being supplied a free sample of the new drug goes back to a friend’s house to smoke it. Once he does he becomes a raging cannibal and eats his friend’s face. Meanwhile a DEA agent is determined to stop the new “super bath salts” by any means necessary. Even it means fighting the same gang member 25 times during a raid. But is the DEA agent too late as Richie is hooked and a couple of his friends go on a feeding frenzy at a concert! The film is exactly what you think but stays away from the zombie moniker and is more of a raging cannibal thing. I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/dustinmillsproductions .

super-task-force-one-official-trailer1381831591

Super Task Force One (DVD) – This film is a film made out of love for the ‘Power Rangers’ show by an intelligent filmmaker Steve Rudzinski. The film being written and directed by Steve had my attention even if it wasn’t a horror movie. ‘Super Task Force Six’ apparently was a group of colorful superheroes who fought aliens, monsters, demons and evil of all sorts until the evil disappeared 15 years ago and the government disbanded the group. Jason a struggling writer just happens to stumble upon a beaten man at a park who gives Jason the power of the Green Enforcer. And Jason now is taken over by the power only to fight a hideous monster at the park trying to destroy him. Soon Jason learns with the help of Super Task Force super fan and best friend Paul that the Evil Emperor is alive and well and has kept the public in a trance. A trance from an audio file found by Jason’s cute girlfriend and destroyed for the world to know there is evil still here. I am no Power Rangers fan at all but found the independent kids friendly film to be very entertaining and it helped jar my memory of the good old days of Saturday morning TV. Steve should be proud of this project for the reason he took a chance by going through with this project and has done an exceptional job with it. I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars and if you are looking for something of a different pace than you’re run of the mill mindless mainstream film go buy this entertaining flick at www.supertaskforce.com and check out www.facebook.com/supertaskforce for updates.


 Blood Orgy

Blood Orgy at Beaver Lake (DVD) – Mike Hartman and the Silver Bullet Pictures gang is at it again in their latest gross out adventure about a doctor… Dr. Bung to be exact that has combined ecstasy, Viagra, and cocaine to make the ultimate drug called “69”. Soon Dr. Bung is being by two woman hitmen because he hasn’t tested it on humans yet and his boss wants out there for the masses now! While the women hitman try to get rid of the body and the drug they lose it only to have two rednecks find it. The rednecks spread it around like moonshine and no one is safe at Beaver Lake as they begin to slaughter and fuck everything and everyone they can get their hands on. I give the flick 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.silverbulletpictures.com .

 

Germ Z (DVD) – A military satellite is knocked out of orbit screaming towards earth after a meteor hits it. The satellite lands in the mountains of a very small town where the military explains stay away until they get there to survey the crash. Even with the firefighters staying away and containing the forest fire they soon become sick and begin changing. Once changed, the victims become raging cannibals until their brains eventually explode for no reason. The small town is under attack and it’s all up to the young sheriff to stop the raging cannibals in this low budget bloodbath that just happened to be released by Fangoria Magazine. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Out of One’s Misery (DVD/internet) – Filmmaker Michael Sharpe puts together a creepy and cool short film about a man named David. He may be haunted, he may not, he may be insane, and he may have already gone insane and is coming back to reality? Whatever it is Mr. Sharpe gives you a short film thriller that will have you at the edge of your seat as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Found out more about this project and more at www.facebook.com/sharpeedgefilms .

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed project from Daniel Boyd and myself  called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #303

0
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Gross Movie Reviews #303

 

By Tim Gross

 

More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead (DVD) – Another great documentary about a horror film that is a favorite of many horror fans. But this isn’t just any horror film the documentary covers… it’s the zombie film that changed everything about zombies. Just like 1968s ‘Night of the Living Dead’, ‘Return of the Living Dead’ caught everyone by surprise in the mid-80s by introducing zombies wanting brains, zombies talk, and be a new kind of entertainment. This documentary tracks down all who were involved and learns of how it all came together and how no one exactly knew that this zombie film would take the next step in zombie film evolution. A must see for all as I give it 4 stars.

Infinte Santa

Infinte Santa 8000 (DVD) – What once started as a webisodes project from Michael Neel and Greg Ansin after their awesome independent anthology ‘Drive-in Horrorshow’ has now become a feature length animated film after two long years of hard work. And I am here to say the hard work paid off in this beautiful animated feature that features a Robo Santa a world that is far into a war torn future! This is the type of film that makes me wonder if the filmmakers behind it reach into a horror fan’s dark soul and bring to life something of the likes of Robo Santa. The film has a great and entertaining beginning that sets the pace for you the viewer of knowing what your brain is about to witness as Robo Santa is facing off a full robot in a bootleg Thunderdome. And they are fighting for meat as meat is scarce and the new money with the world looking like one big wasteland straight out of a ‘Mad Max’ film. But as Santa goes back to the North Pole with his Robo reindeer he knows he is going back to the one person who still believes. And her name is Martha. Martha is what keeps the old man going. But there is some who want to take that away from him and the menace that wants to take the happiness away is the “Creator” who made Martha. The Creator sends an evil bunny with exploding peeps, monkey men, and mutations, even Martha clones to kill Santa and steal Martha away only to destroy her for good. It is a holiday classic of good versus evil in this animated feature that is complete chaotic fun! It is not only one of the best independent films of the year but I am glad to say one my favorite horror films in the past few years. The dedication of Michael Neel and all who are involved with Burnt Reindeer Films should be proud of their project that I would put up there with the likes of ‘Heavy Metal’, ‘Fire and Ice’. What sealed the deal on this great film was the quote from Robo Santa in the film, “Just how I like my mutants, ugly, crispy, and dead!” That is perfection for me. Horror movie fans if there is one horror film you buy this holiday season it must be “Infinite Santa 8000” or Robo Santa and myself are coming Mad Max style down your chimney and throwing you in the bootleg Thunderdome! I give the film 4 out of 4 stars and it can be found at www.midnightreleasing.com and more info about Greg and others can be found at www.infinitesanta.com . If you need more look for the intentional or unintentional video game Gauntlet scene during the big fight between Robo Santa and Creator’s minions.

Eureka (DVD) – An odd Rutger Hauer film from 1983 that also stars Gene Hackman, Ed Lauter, Mickey Rouke, Joe Pesci, and Joe Spinell! But what Rutger Hauer film isn’t a bit odd as most of his career choices always make you think. But Gene Hackman is a man who searched for gold for 15 years during the time of the gold rush finally finding after a very weird encounter with a woman who helps tell his future. Years later and Hackman’s character now owning an island and more money than can be printed finds himself feeling like his world is falling apart as Rutger Hauer is taking his daughter away, people want his island, and they want to kill him. Weird but a fun watch for Rutger Hauer fans as I give it 2 stars.

8213: Gacy House (DVD) – A found footage film about Ghost Hunters investigating a vacant home in March 2006. The home is supposed to be where Gacy’s old house was. They even say in the opening credits that the original home was destroyed in 1979 I believe and a new home was built there. But during the film during the so-called investigation the ghost hunters talk about the old house, wiring, etc. This is the type of film that just gives paranormal experts a bad name hell if I was a ghost hunter I would be insulted by this big piece of elephant shit! I give it 0 stars.

Ridge War

Ridge War Z (DVD) – An independent zombie film that takes entirely different approach but at the same time trying to cash in on the similar title of Brad Pitt’s project. A reporter tracks down three soldiers who survived a battle with zombies to protect a ridge and write a book on it. The filmmaker Alek Gearhart takes the approach of the reporter helping the soldiers get over the evil events that happened and to relive some of the horrible events to make their lives better and help him to write his book based on the events. The filmmaker dedicates the film to all veterans who were in a war as tries to use this dramatic approach to show how tough it can be for vets to live with the burden of war and the decisions made during the battles. It’s different, a little talky at times but I gotta give credit to the filmmaker doing something very different with the zombie genre. I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.braindamagefilms.com .

Amnesiac (DVD) – A foreign independent film that tries to outsmart the viewer by over thinking the plot and just confusing the shit out of me by the end of the film. The film begins with two sisters and the one’s boyfriend Thom going all ‘Witchboard’ with an Ouija board by doing a séance to contact a spirit. But as the three get more involved in the spirit’s world as things go weird to the point that the film becomes about the spirit who killed people in a past life but is now haunted by the people who were contacting him through the board… maybe? All I know this film my head hurt and it got boring as the filmmaker over thought the plot. I give the independent film 0 out of 4 stars and you can find it at www.midnightreleasing.com .

The Man with the Iron Fists (DVD) – A film that steals a bunch of random Asian Cinema and smashes it into a crazy action film to pimp RZA! It’s not bad, it’s not good, and it’s just one of those films that are a little too much over the top. I give it 2 stars.

Daisy Derkins, Dogsitter of the Damned! (DVD) – Daisy has just gotten a part time job being a dog sitter for a very strange dude in a black robe. But he gives Daisy permission to do pretty much anything she wants as long as she keeps an eye out for the dog. Bad move Ex-Lax! Daisy invites two friends over who want to get Daisy high and drunk and bullshit about the guy who is stalking her after one date. Once they are about to enter the point of no return in drunken terms Daisy hears a voice or laughter, causing the friends to call paranormal expert/pinup model Delia to find the issue and film it for her cable access show. If that wasn’t enough to scare Daisy her stalker comes to the house to sing to her, a witch begins to fuck with them, and a serial killer who looks like a bootleg combo of Dimebag Darryl and John Carl Buechler killing everyone in the house, and we have a wendigo that tries to rape the paranormal expert/pinup model. This all happens just because the strange dude parties with a Mexican wrestler and just needed to feed his dog the Dogsitter. Big boobs, blood, woman with tattoos and a Mexican wrestler… I was entertained. I give the independent flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

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