Gross Movie Reviews #335

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Gross Movie Reviews #335

 

By Tim Gross

 

Stalking Bigfoot (DVD) – This was an odd find at a recent Cinema Wasteland convention but fuck it, its independent and its produced by Jabb Pictures. So two podcast hosts Tim-O and Harley set out to search for Bigfoot. It’s pretty much in the same mold as the first “Blair Witch Project”. Boring! But the film was put out by Jabb Pictures and that was enough for me to buy it and at least give it a chance. For that I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars. You can purchase the DVD at www.jabbpictures.com .

 

Le Fear II: Le Sequel (DVD/Vimeo) – The latest from filmmaker Jason Croot is a mashup spoof about a director Carlos Revalos who believes he is ready to make his biggest feature to date. But Carlos needs financing as most of his pictures are low budget and wants to make his latest project on a ten million dollar budget and is convinced to put his house up for collateral. From there it’s just a nightmare for Carlos: his producer seems to be busy with everything except helping with this film (we are talking blow-up aliens and sparklers folks), at one point they must leave the main location because they don’t have the release forms, Most of their filming takes place in one trailer, actors and actresses walking out on the film, others just acting like complete divas and retards. It is a hilarious truthful take on making of a big budget independent film. I laughed a few times days after watching the film just because of seen this stuff actually happen over the years and to that I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Check out there twitter page also:

https://twitter.com/Lefear2lesequel

 

 

The Lone Ranger (DVD) – Great flick about a man who believes in justice and peace in the old west… It’s just ashame two generations of movie fans have passed since this character was even relevant. My only complaint about the film is I would have liked to see a few more practical effects or stunts for the money that was spent on the project??? I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Raid 2: Berandal (DVD) – Only hours passed since the events of the first film and the head of a special task force within the police decides he wants the cop to stay undercover or be believed dead. Why, so this time he can go to jail for three years and becoming best friends with the biggest Asian mob boss’s son. Once again amazing fight sequences that will leave your jaw on the floor and great action but it seems this film is missing a little something that made the first film perfect. But do yourself a favor and at least give this sequel a chance as I give it 3 stars.

Half Life

Half-Life Horror From Hell (DVD) – Filmmaker Mark Mackner writes and directs this crazy no budget Scooby-Doo plot driven film that stars the fucking nutzoid looking Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka as a Shaman and if that wasn’t enough it also features the amazing, beautiful, and talented actress Sarah French aka Sarah Scarlet. The Scooby-Doo plot has our hero or victim depending how you look at it named Brad back in town and he is still haunted by the events of an almost atomic meltdown ten years ago that took his father. Brad being an outcast in the small town soon notices his enemies or people who don’t like him are being murdered and there are reports of a ghost that looks like a man in a glowing radioactive suit. Meanwhile Sarah French’s character is trying to get some incest going if Brad is killed by her step brother! And Snuka is just Snuka in this crazy entertaining mess of a movie… as I give it 2 ½ out 4 stars. Oh by the way movie fans apparently radioactive ghosts POOP?! Go check out its Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/THE-HALF-LIFE-HORROR-FROM-HELL/162694619157

 

Zombie (DVD) – Lucio Fulci’s masterpiece that started the waterfall of Eye-talian zombie flicks in the early 80s and inspired many filmmakers looks more beautiful than ever on its latest transfer to DVD/Blu-ray. For those who been living under a rock it’s a gruesome zombie film about a woman concerned for her father when his boat shows up in one of New York’s harbors and all that is there is a fat zombie! So she takes upon herself with help from a New York reporter who wants to get to the bottom of what happen and where this originated. Their adventure takes them to an uncharted island where voodoo rules and the natives are pissed! The zombies rise and start fucking shit up. We are talking eye stabbing and underwater shark chomping! Fulci gave many the template of how to make a gritty and mean zombie film and I give the flick 4 stars for that.

Hole-in-the-Wall-Poster

Hole in the Wall (DVD) – Derek Carey and quite a few other Wisconsin filmmakers put together an independent anthology full of grit and sleaze that is not for the normal movie viewer. This anthology tests you the viewer what’s good or bad taste and has fun along the way as the film features: a crazy dude does all kinds of freaky and disturbing sexual shit, Goth whores who bring back Ed Gein’s evil spirit, a very odd couple having relationship issues, let’s not forget the appearance of a “Swamphead” VHS tape, psychedelic urine, period blood that makes a woman kill the world, a beautiful voice that controls men, and a man teaching an innocent curious farm boy about the joys of death that wraps up the anthology like a nice birthday present. Talking family entertainment people… Mr. Carey and company’s anthology is gruesome, intriguing, unstable and sometimes uncomfortable which makes this project brilliant find for the independent gorehounds. I give the film 3 out of 4 stars. Find out more about it at:

The Zombie King (DVD/YouTube) – A UK zombie film about misfits trying to survive the zombie apocalypse that was brought on by some bullshit: 7 swords, 7 souls, 7 days, 7 archangels, I don’t know. But anyway there is a Bill Goldberg zombie, a bloated Edward Furlong, and a demonized Corey Feldman there long enough to collect a paycheck that was more than the budget for this poor excuse for a zombie film as I give it 2 stars.

 

Vampire Chicks with Chainsaws (DVD/YouTube) – An independent film made for a thousand dollars that raises the question: Why do vampire chicks need chainsaws? Because it is essential to the plot of course! Some poor soul of a man must face off against some vampire chicks that want him dead since his blood is tainted…infected? If it wasn’t bad enough some hillbilly stole his wife, he needs help from a vampire hunter he is unsure about if he is going to defeat these female vampire demons that seem to have a fascination for chainsaws. The film smartly uses locations well and does not fall into the stupid people pit of having lesbian vampires. For its little budget and smart script I was relatively surprised how much I enjoyed this Indy vamp flick. I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars and always enjoy supporting projects like this. And movie fans you can find the full movie on YouTube.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Go support my friends Derrick Carey and Cory J. Udler

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Rabid Child Films brings you a Wisconsin Horror Anthology.

7 nightmarish films from the people that brought you SWAMPHEAD, INCEST DEATH SQUAD, THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH THE DEAD, FLESH EATING FOG, and DON’T GO TO THE REUNION.

A brute shows a local boy hell through his haunted ax, the streets of Madison are stalked by a deranged sexual psychopath, Ed Gein is resurrected as a dentist with a penchant for extraction, the flip side of the American family screams itself to life, and an elicit drug transforms a singer into the angel of death!!!

Hole in the Wall brings the nasty underbelly of life right into your home.

Starring Greg Johnson, Draven Wagner, Rob Michels, Tom Runnings, Judith O’Dea, Heather Dorff, Tom Lodewyck, Matt Kenyon, Alyssa Spangler

Directed By Derrick Carey, Cory J Udler, Rob Michels and Carolyn Baker/Screaming like Banshees, Steve Goltz/Kevin Summerfield

facebook.com/GORYHOLE

 

http://www.vimeo.com/ondemand/goryhole

Hole

Underground Wisconsin filmmaker releases entire catalog for streaming and rent online.

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Crew

 

IDS Rising

 

ids_rising_amber_movie_poster_by_joypadmaster-d5dlgj3

MADISON, WI- Writer/Director Cory J. Udler, most known for his “Incest Death Squad” trilogy and his work with legendary grindhouse icon Ted V. Mikels, has released all of his films, including 2011’s “MEDIATRIX” in online format for rent and download at the official ShaLenn Productions, LLC website, INCESTDEATHSQUAD.com.

Udler, who has not gone with an established distributor for any of his films, wanted to embrace the new opportunities for rent and download capabilities for his movies on the hosting site VIMEO for a variety of reasons.

“First and foremost”, Udler said, “this is the way people are watching movies.  Everyone’s busy, on the run, and instead of having to order a DVD and wait for it to arrive and then have to watch it in front of the TV, people want to snag a movie any way they can when it’s convenient for them.  In addition, I have a great bunch of fans of the movies overseas and the shipping costs as of the first of the year have made me have to ask those folks for more money for shipping.  The shipping costs more than the movies!  So this is a very exciting way for me to reach more people at a lowered price and a more convenient viewing option for them as well.”

Udler’s first feature in 2009, “Incest Death Squad”, was celebrated by underground film fans and panned by critics making it a “cult film”, a title that Udler denies.

“I don’t decide if the movies are “cult” or not.  An audience decides that.  But I’ve had everything from people tattooing “IDS” on their bodies, to people telling me that my movies are a sort of “test” for their friends, to see if they are worthy of hanging out with.  It’s pretty wild for a no budget movie that, as I look back on it, seems disjoined and strange, but yeah, people love it, so if they say it’s a “cult” movie, then great.  I just think it’s a weird no budget movie”.

The movie stars Lloyd Kaufman in a cameo role along with “Night Of The Living Dead” sheriff George Kosana, Elske McCain, Tom Lodewyck, Greg Johnson, Melissa Murphy and Carmela Wiese.

Udler followed in 2010 with a direct sequel and calls that film his “favorite of any films” he’s made.

2011 saw the release of “Mediatrix”, a departure from the horror genre to a “Christsploitation” movie.

“Mediatrix was based off a true story.  There was a woman in Wisconsin in the 40’s and 50’s who claimed to have been visited by The Virgin Mary.  She said she suffered stigmata, all kinds of wild unsubstantiated claims.  Paula Duerksen (star and writer of “Mediatrix”) and I took a trip up there when we were filming her scenes for Incest Death Squad 2 and on the way back we basically decided to make an amped up rock n roll version of that story”.

The movie stars Viscera Film Festival founder and horror luminary Shannon Lark as the Virgin Mary.  It also stars Kaylee Williams and Joe Hollow, along with Lodewyck, Johnson, Ukena, Katzenberger and Heather Renkin.

2012 saw him return to the “IDS” series and complete the trilogy with “IDS Rising”.

“Honestly, I just wanted to really slam the book shut on the “IDS” movies with that one.  I wanted to give the people who supported me and the cast and crew one more look inside this bizarre little no budget horror world we all created.  Some fans said it was the best of the series, and I’ll take that”.

Udler says there is “no chance in hell” of a 4th movie saying, “I have no idea how I’d dig these characters up again for a 4th movie.  After the first one I said no sequel.  After the sequel I said no third movie.  So, basically I’m a horrible liar.  But honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I have no desire to do a 4th movie in that series.  It’s over!”

All four movies are available for rent ($3.00 for 2 nights) or purchase ($6.00 for direct download) at INCESTDEATHSQUAD.com now.

Currently, Udler is a producer and contributor to Rabid Child Films’ “HOLE IN THE WALL”, an all Wisconsin based horror anthology featuring films from Derrick Carey, Greg Johnson, Rob Michaels and Carolyn Baker and other Badger State directors to be named later.  Udler’s entry stars “Night of the Living Dead” star Judith O’Dea and is titled “Ed Gein: D.D.S.”.

“It’s the goofiest thing you’ve ever seen.  Completely ridiculous, but a ton of fun.  And to get to work with and meet Judith was a dream come true.”

The film is scheduled for release in 2014.

In the meantime, Udler has completed his third script for legendary director Ted V. Mikels titled “Paranormal Extremes: Text Messages From The Dead”.  Udler has written “Demon Haunt” and “Astro Zombies M3: Cloned” for Mikels and considers that work his greatest achievement.

“I have idolized Ted since I was about 12 years old.  He is the embodiment of true independent filmmaking spirit.  I love him so much and respect him like no other.  It’s absolutely mind blowing to have written three films for Ted.  He’s the greatest of all time”.

“Paranormal Extremes” is currently filming, with Mikels at the helm, in Las Vegas.  A 2014 release is planned.  The other films are available through Alpha New Line Cinema at OLDIES.com.

Udler’s latest film “IDS RISING” is also available on Roku on Get Scared TV for free now.  The film includes an extended trailer for “Hole In The Wall” including a quick scene from “Ed Gein: D.D.S”

What’s next for Udler and ShaLenn Productions?

“I am working on a story and script with Derrick Carey now.  We’re taking it slow, not rushing it.  It’s completely insane.  I will say it has to do with heavy metal and Satan, but that’s about as far as I’ll go right now”.

Udler says the plan is to shoot in 2014 with a 2015 release.

To keep up on everything Udler and ShaLenn Productions has planned you can visit INCESTDEATHSQUAD.com or find Udler on Facebook.

Gross Movie Reviews #305

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Gross Movie Reviews #305

 

By Tim Gross

 

Freaks (DVD) – A misunderstood classic when first released in 1932. Many were sickened, disgusted, and just didn’t care for the film. But over the years that followed its original release it gained cult status for its subject matter which is circus freaks and how they turn on a circus performer who mocks them. Even when the so-called circus freaks accept Cleopatra she still mocks. So the circus freaks get together and plan her demise when the show is on the move to the next town. These days the film may not have the impact it once did but still sheds light on a cultural divide even in today’s society. I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

Bad Ass (DVD) – A very corny action flick starring Danny Trejo as an aging Vietnam vet who is just tired of the younger generation being complete asses and beats two skinheads up on a bus when going home one day when they wouldn’t leave no one alone. The event is caught on people’s cellphone videos and it goes viral. Things are going great for Trejo’s character until his best friend is killed for a flash drive that contains some highly illegal activity being done by the mayor played by Ron Perlman. Like I said it’s corny but entertaining as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Taken 2 (DVD) – Liam Neeson is back as the super-agent who is trying to learn how to be a father and accept his wife is married to someone else. This time around he is the one that is kidnapped along with his wife while on vacation and it’s up to his daughter Maggie Grace who seems to still be playing a high school student but is like 30 years old in real life… But anyway she has to be the one to help out super-agent dad or him and mom will be killed! Lots of brutal violence and action sequences make this a film you cannot blink while watching or you’ll miss something. I give the action film 3 stars.

ids_rising_amber_movie_poster_by_joypadmaster-d5dlgj3

IDS Rising (DVD) – Cory J. Udler continues one of my favorite independent film storylines “Incest Death Squad” in this third film that picks up with Amber believed to be dead but is in a coma at a hospital for the past three months after the big shoot out ending of the second film. She is taking a verbal beat down from her brother Jeb but we soon learn she is in a coma. Two-thirds of the film takes place in Amber’s mind as she tries to find answers on why things happen the way they did and why she is still alive only to learn a whole lot more when she is visited by all of her dead friends and parents in her dream state. Best way to describe the film is ‘Prophecy 3’. I enjoyed the second film more but this sequel is a great tie film as it explains a lot about Jeb, Amber, their fucked up parents plot and why Amber is like the way she is. This sequel is a nice way to wrap up a trilogy with also leaving the door open to possibly revisit the ‘Incest Death Squad’ without hurting the fun films that came before it. Why I describe it as ‘Prophecy 3’. Mr. Udler does another good job of keeping me entertained with another entry of twisted and sick fun he calls ‘IDS rising aka Incest Death Squad 3’. I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. You can purchase the film or find out more about Cory J. Udler at www.incestdeathsquad.com .

 

World War Z (DVD) – At first I had high hopes when Brad Pitt’s company bought the film rights. But once I heard a bigger studio was getting involved and the budget ballooned over the $100 million I stopped being excited and hoped it wasn’t an ‘I Am Legend’ fiasco again… So I sat down to finally make myself watch this flick. A mysterious virus has hit the world and all are turning into zombies at an alarming rate. Brad Pitt reacts as if he has seen it before and helps his family get rescued by the UN to a Navy vessel. From Pitt’s character goes searching for a cure to the zombie plague and its origins. While he is searching the globe the zombies are taking over the planet until he has found a way to camouflage humans from being lunch. I believe this is the first big budget popcorn summer flick. In other words the film didn’t suck but is forgettable. I will stick with Romero, O’Bannon, Fulci, and Nazi zombies as I give this film 2 stars.

 

The Colony (DVD) – Years into the future where global warming took a header and one day it started to snow and has never stopped. With freezing temps, very little food, and human connection, humanity is in trouble unless it finds a way to reverse the weather problem or a new food source. The film stars a paranoid Bill Paxton and Laurence Fishburne who leads Colony 7 who has lost contact with Colony 5 but receives a distress call a week later. A small team goes to visit only to find blood, destruction, and a scared survivor who claims they have found a warm spot 40 miles north. When the team investigates the screams and noises they run for their lives after finding what happened to the Colony. It soon follows the team back home for a fight for its life where flu is no longer the only enemy. At any point during the film I was waiting for 1982 Kurt Russell to pop out of nowhere looking for “Childs”! The movie is great but swings and misses on a key plot point that I thought could have made the film one of the top five films of 2013 when do not explain more about the weather machines??? Hell, there looks to be a scene missing when they arrive at one weather machine on their way to Colony 5. This film is still pulse pounding fun terror and violence and worth seeking out as it was dropped from theater release earlier in 2013. I give the film 3 stars.

 

Scarecrow (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A big steamy pile of rat shit called a horror film about a small town legend of a killer scarecrow spirit that begins to kill high school students that were on a Saturday detention field trip. Where’s fucking Larry Drake when you need him? Save yourself the time and punch yourself in the face you’ll at least feel better in 90 minutes than watching this flick, I give it 0 stars.

Young Blood

Young Blood: Evil Intentions (DVD) – Two young sisters that are not happy with mom’s choice in men decide they need a change or at least the older sister Anavey convinces the younger sister Anastasia it’s a change for the better.  Anavey uses the best line I have heard in a film this year: “I am 75% sure it might work!” to convince her. Once the sisters are vampires, the older sister Anavey explains the rules and what is needed to be done for Anastasia to go full vamp. Then she assembles a vampire cult with all the town’s children to begin killing all adults she does not like. The film is a crossover of ‘Children of the Corn’ and an adult version of the ‘Goosebumps’ show. The independent movie has its moments of comedy, great cameos, violence, and funny jabs at the ‘Twilight’ vampires and I enjoy its take on a small southern town reacting to kid vampires. But its 100 minute running time makes the film seem to be dull in parts or the story stretched a little too thin. This is a common mistake among a lot of beginning filmmakers and gets corrected over time as they learn more and experience the process with more projects. Overall it’s entertaining and I enjoy its late 80s shot on VHS feel as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. You can purchase and support the independent film at www.youngbloodmovie.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed project from Daniel Boyd and myself called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.