Gross Movie Reviews #340

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Gross Movie Reviews #340

 

By Tim Gross

 

Yor, The Hunter from the Future (DVD) – A great combo movie that somehow was able to combine “Beastmaster” and “Caveman” with some weird no budget droids. This classic from the early 80s is about a man named Yor, who doesn’t know it yet but is the savior for a future generation that has been hiding among the mountains. His people let him go as a child to live among the caveman-like humans in hopes of learning to fight for his life and be their savior. If you are like me and only knew it existed and never seen it until now then start tracking it down now you will not be disappointed. And for that I give it 3 stars.

 

Beauty Queen Butcher! (DVD) – A shot-on-video movie from 1991 directed by Jill Zurborg is actually very brilliant and not talked about much. Our story begins with a bigger girl named Phyllis who has been entered into the ‘Miss Slough Queen’ beauty queen pageant by her nemesis Muffy and company to be embarrassed. It does not help Ms. Purnish the pageant hostess hates Phyllis also. As the pageant is going down Phyllis is nervous and has her friend bring her a box of Twinkies which of course gives us the famous line borrowed from “Stand By Me” (my best friend since 6th grade, Craig Wallace) would be proud, “Chow down Lard Ass!” If that wasn’t enough torture the beauty queen and her runners-up put Phyllis’s cat in the microwave which sends Phyllis over the edge and begins killing them one by one. But with each death Phyllis rises up the ladder of ‘Miss Slough Queen’ as there has to be one every year according to Ms. Purnish… What is amazing with this low budget feature is it borders two hours in length which usually spells ‘death’ for most low budget films but in this case is unnoticed because of how much fun and entertaining the film truly is! So I thank Miss Zurborg for giving a great effort and give it 4 stars.

 

Freak (VHS) – A bad independent flick from 1999 but entertaining in its own little way. Example: the box says the story starts 25 years ago with a monstrosity! In the opening of the film it says, “Nine years ago”… Go figure, I find this shit hilarious and entertaining but anyway a mother who was some kind of recluse has a son who she hates and keeps chained up with a burlap bag over his head. One night when she throws her newborn in a barrel fire, the son bashes her head in. Present time/1999, two sisters moving to a new home across several states come in contact with the monstrosity when he escapes a van owned by the asylum that housed him. Sounds better than it was but what the hell you only live once so go ahead and watch it? I did! I give it 1 star.

 

Repo Jake (VHS/DVD-R/YouTube) – 1990… Dan Haggerty aka Grizzly Adams… and he is a Repo dude! If this shit had evil Nazi elves I would been going to bed with aluminum foil on my head knowing someone is tapping my brain for movie ideas? Jake is new in town and has just gotten a job at K+K Repo. He meets a nice young lady trying to be an actress, makes friends at the repo joint, is introduce to slam track racing, and just happens to repossess everything that includes helicopters. Yep mother fucking Grizzly Adams is a chopper pilot. This is the type of bad b-action shit I live for. I give it 3 stars.

Battle-Apocalypse -DVD-Artwork

Chrysalis (DVD/Vimeo) – The film is being released under a different name “Battle Apocalypse” and was directed by John Klein who bases his story in the future of the year 2038. Everything is dead, almost everyone is gone, and there seems to be only a wasteland of infected left. Two survivors are just trying to survive the best way they can until they come in contact with a another woman one evening while traveling through a big empty city or so they thought. Josh and Penelope take her in and try to make the best of it as their new friend tells them about a bigger group of people that will be waiting outside of the city. Problem is they must fight through the infected to get there. Klein provides hints along the way of what exactly happen to make this wasteland possible and stays away from the term ‘zombies’ or even ‘ghouls’ throughout the film. What interested me was instead of going the way of gore galore the zombie Eye-talian way, John Klein lets his characters and dialogue  bring his imaginative brilliant vision to life. Klein’s film succeeds where the highly regarded zombie film “The Dead” failed. He does not rely on the ‘zombies’ or in this film’s case the ‘infected’ to tell the story but the survivors of the fallout of 2019 and how they are still surviving all these years later to tell it. For that I thank you John Klein as you have given me the first horror flick to be on my “best of 2015 list”. I give the independent flick 4 out of 4 stars and info on it can be found at www.therestaredead.com .

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Legacy of Thorn (DVD/Vimeo) – Okay horror fans we got a new independent flick from the UK that combines elements of the “Splatterhouse” video game, Jason X steroided look, and leap year. MJ Dixon crafted a story about a group of friends who have been attacked by a supernatural force four years before on February 28th, now four years past and barely surviving the last attack the group of friends capture the supernatural being and to kill it for good. But the local authorities’ break-in on them right before they are to behead the being (Thorn) and gory chaos begins as the unstoppable supernatural force slashes and hacks his way through everyone. Is there way to stop him? Is there a real reason he only comes every four years looking for a singular person? And why does a group of armed personal show up to capture Thorn and we get to see they are a part of “Project Slasher House”? (Which “Slasher House” is another flick from filmmaker MJ Dixon I am now interested in seeing.) All great questions in this fun and crazy over the top supernatural slasher flick. I love this kind of independent horror flicks because it shows vision, fun, and excitement! Maybe Mr. Dixon needs to contact Mr. Steve Rudzinski here in the states about his project “Slasher Hunters” because great minds think alike!!! And for that I give this wonderful project from the UK 3 out of 4 stars and you can find out more about it at www.legacyofthorn.com .

Pernicious

Pernicious (DVD/Vimeo) – Three pretty young woman go to Thailand to “save the world” in their own words. Julia and friends are staying at a nice hut, home, not totally sure what you call it on that side of the world but anyway they get to their place of dwelling and find a freaky ass gold statue of a child. The girls go out and party, pick up some ugly dudes, get drugged, and the three go “all Fred Vogel and Toe Tag Pictures” on these three dumb dudes. The girls wake up like they didn’t sleep to find the statue has gone, their gold jewelry is gone, and the ugly dudes are gone. Not sure of calling the police or what to do but they do decide they need to replace the statue or they will get fucked up. So of course they go visit a witch and she tells them “the statue could be a black market thing”. Never mind the story some old crazy Thai dude keeps trying to tell them about the statue. But apparently it’s not going to end well for Julia and friends as they didn’t pay tribute to this odd statue when arriving. The horror film has its gory moments and believes James Cullen Bressack has made another film that will make a lot of horror fans happy. Be warned my friends there is a gruesome fingernail removal scene, I know some of you will cringe or puke… I have seen it. So keep your eye out for this gruesome flick as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars and you can find out more at www.jamescullenbressack.com .

 

Megaforce (DVD) – Oh I so wanted to see this movie for so long and now that I finally have, I was not disappointed in a film that you could call a prelude to the G.I.JOE cartoon. No shit folks, Barry Bostwick and his hair command an elite force aka Phantom Army that defends freedom all over the world. They are hired by that dude that gave Michael Knight, K.I.T.T. and they need to go fight some commandos led by Henry Silva. But the topper for me was Michael Beck showing up and rides a motorcycle just like the one he does in “Battletruck aka Warlords of 21st Century”. My mind was blown people… They work their ass off to make the filler of the movie interesting but it pays off when Barry Bostwick and his hair are flying on a motorcycle! Believe it as I give this masterpiece of greatness 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

See yinz at Horror Realm March 6-8th, 2015 as you will find me in the “Out of Print Film Room” presented by Gross Movie Reviews. For details visit www.horrorrealmcon.com .

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

A.P. Fuchs has a review book for you!

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http://www.amazon.com/Look-Screen-Superhero-Movie-Reviews/dp/1927339480/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

AP

Superheroes have invaded film more in the past decade and a half than they have in their entire history. From major blockbusters like Man of Steel and The Dark Knight Trilogy, to DC Entertainment’s line of fantastic direct-to-video animated films, to other super-flicks like The Incredibles, superheroes are enjoying a major resurgence in popular culture and fans have now entered a golden era of superhero cinema. Lifelong superhero fan and author A.P. Fuchs has made it his mission to see every superhero movie that’s been brought to screen. Collected here are his first one hundred reviews, covering the major blockbusters of today to the lesser-known super flicks of yesterday along with everything in between. Reviewing such classics as the original Christopher Reeve Superman films to the jaw-dropping Marvel Phase One series that include Iron Man 1 and 2, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Captain America and The Avengers, to the movies that arguably started the current age of superhero cinema: The X-Men franchise, he’s got this amazing genre covered. Also included are a multitude of animated features, superhero movies that didn’t quite hit at the box office, pulp heroes and more. Look, Up on the Screen! is a collection of reviews for the serious superhero filmgoer from a diehard fan who’s seen nearly all of what the superhero motion picture field has to offer. Whether your theatre is at the cineplex or in your own home, this is one collection that’s a must-add to your bookshelf of behind-the-scenes goodies, movie guides, superhero film novelizations and graphic novels. About the Author A.P. Fuchs is the author of many novels and short stories. His most recent books are Canadian Scribbler: Collected Letters of an Underground Writer; Redemption of the Dead, the third book in his zombie trilogy, Undead World; Axiom-man: City of Ruin; the paranormal romance trilogy, Blood of my World; and Zombie Fight Night: Battles of the Dead, in which zombies fight such classic monsters as werewolves, vampires, Bigfoot, and even go up against awesome foes like pirates, ninjas, and Bruce Lee. Also a cartoonist, he is known for his superhero series, The Axiom-man Saga, both in novel and comic book format.

Please see www.axiom-man.com for more on this series. Fuchs’s main website is www.canisterx.com

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Gross Movie Reviews #336

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Gross Movie Reviews #336

 

By Tim Gross

 

Elves (VHS/DVD-R) – An off the wall direct-to-video release in 1989 that stars Dan Haggerity aka Grizzly Adams in a plot that involves virgins, Nazi experiments, New World Order, and evil elves! Brilliant until the movie starts rolling along as the film suffers from lack of budget and direction as the film at times seems like there is parts missing but don’t let that scare you from experiencing a great bad holiday horror film. A teenager is pissed at her mom, scared of her German grandpa, and strikes up an odd relationship with Grizzly Adams for all good reason when evil ninjas aka elves begin to spy on her and try to capture her and kill her friends. Looking for that odd holiday horror film to add to your collection? Well “Elves” is it as I give it 2 stars.

Muck

The Muck (Vimeo) – Tony Wash of www.scotchworthy.com has a new short film that is a throwback to 80s slimy monster flicks that will soon be a part of a big project called “World of Death”. A woman comes home from a workout ignoring the water company’s sign about something wrong with the water and goes for a long hot bath but finds something else? I really liked where Mr. Wash went with this concept and think it would be great if he could get the funding to do a feature-length film called “The Muck”. I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Red Christmas

Red Christmas (Vimeo/DVD) – Steve Rudzinski busy as ever has a new independent holiday horror for all to have under their Christmas trees for years to come and it’s called “Red Christmas”. Tara is a cute twenty-something girl that has a certain fetish or taste for killing as it gets her in the Christmas spirit. But that’s not the only thing; Tara knows there will come a day she will be caught so she wants to keep a video diary of why she is a serial killer so it can make her famous and for people to understand her. Steve as usual is creative with no budget, keeps interesting and unsettling with a couple torture scenes (fingernail removal), and made me wondering if I was watching “Necromantik 3” at one point? Steve giving fans something different every time out may have given independent gorehounds a holiday present that will keep on giving for years to come! I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars and can be purchased at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

Its My Party

It’s My Party and I’ll Die If I Want To (DVD) – Tony Wash’s first project from 2007 was a prelude of things to come as this first time director/writer/producer fresh out of Tom Savini’s school took on a project that deserves more attention than it ever got for what he accomplished! I remember seeing a copy of the film a few years back at a convention but forgot to pick it up. After having a conversation with fellow movie reviewer Mario Dommick I made sure I got a copy to witness the carnage or I should say the greatness this project is… Tony was able to do a beautiful mash-up of my two favorite 80s horror flicks “Night of the Demons” and “Killer Party”. But let’s get to the good stuff, Sara’s birthday is on Halloween and Sara’s friends want to throw her the coolest surprise birthday party that she will remember. And they decide to throw it at Burkitt Manor: a place that just so happens to have a history of murder and hauntings over the past century. After one of Sara’s friends scratches himself on a nail in the attic he soon transforms into something horrifically evil. And by the way the transformation scene is something of beauty, I absolutely loved it! Sara soon arrives to her surprise party and her friends are dying horribly only for her to think it is part of the event at first. Tony Wash did amazing work his first time out and how this project didn’t get him more notice by Hollywood is beyond me??? But if that wasn’t enough the DVD has “adventure mode” where you are able to pick from nine different endings just like the old school “pick your own adventure” books. Think of “Final Destination 3” DVD extras but Mr. Wash did it such a higher level and care. I feel bad I missed it the first time around but glad I came back to it so I could review it. I give the flick 4 out of 4 stars as horror fans this is a must own, a must support, and you must pay attention to upcoming projects from Tony Wash. You can purchase the film at www.scotchworthy.com . Hey Tony, just remember us when you’re famous my friend!

 

The Babadook (On Demand) – Another good horror flick out of Australia that’s a bit of a creepy and scary kid’s tale. A single mom has a boy named Samuel who could be disturbed, autistic, etc., not totally sure but he does not like being separated from his mother. His mother is having a hard time without no husband and dealing with a child that seems to be awake 24/7. One night Samuel brings her a book to read and it’s called, “The Babadook”. After reading a few pages Samuel becomes scared and the mother hides the book. Strange things begin to happen and the book keeps reappearing with new pages and animation of death!  A good scary flick for the mainstream crowd that doesn’t watch many horror flicks as I give it 3 stars.

 

Rec 4: Apocalypse (On Demand) – The successful Spanish zombie/demon/sort of found footage films are supposedly coming to an end with final entry? This time around the film takes place on a boat where apparently Angela the reporter, was taken too after her experience in the apartment house where the viral outbreak took place and is now been burned to the ground. Scientists are doing experiments to come up with a cure or a way to control this virus and must kill any who come in contact with it. All three films get tied into this flick so if you are a fan you will enjoy that and once again “Rec 4” does not disappoint with the crazy gore effects once infected monkey gets loose and Angela and others are trapped. I loved the film and have been a big fan of the series but felt the ending was a letdown and not the ending I was hoping for. But saying that I still give this wonderful foreign horror film 3 stars.

 

Electric Boogaloo: The Wild Untold Story of Cannon Films (DVD/YouTube) – A wonderful documentary about two guys who came to Hollywood and within a decade made Charles Bronson a star again, Chuck Norris what he is today, and many crazy, wacky 80s films that weird film junkies like myself enjoyed.   They went from a joke to be taken serious in a decade and made Hollywood pay attention to them until their debt caught up and the two men had a falling out. Whether we admit or not Cannon Films help shape cinema of today. Dozens of actors, actresses, producers, directors share stories of what went down on sets of many of these films and what it was like working for Cannon Films. This kind of stuff is hilarious to watch and makes you take notes on movies you may have missed over the years as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Zombeavers (On Demand) – I so enjoy when people seem to make movies just for me… and “Zombeavers” is a pleasant idea seen all the way through. A barrel of toxic chemical falls off a dump truck and into a stream where beavers are living. Soon the green shit is all over the beaver’s home and has mutated them to “ZOMBIE BEAVERS”!!! How this hasn’t shown up on SyFy Channel yet I will never know but anyway three college girls are getting away for the weekend to have a drunken girl weekend at a cousin’s cabin. Soon the boyfriends show up to scare the shit out of them but so do the pissed off beavers as they attack couples on sea, on land, where ever the beavers and find flesh to munch on. I give it 3 stars.

 

Housebound (On Demand) – A weird oddity of a horror/comedy to come out of New Zealand about a woman who has been in a host of trouble has been just caught for trying to steal money out an ATM machine. Her lawyer convinces a judge that she can do better if forced to house arrest at home with her mother since she has been in and out of the system for substance abuse and other criminal charges. Once the rules are explained to her by the security officer she begins to hear sounds in the walls and weird things begin to happen but this has gone on for years since her parents bought the house and they both believe they seen something at one point when she was a kid. The film goes from typical haunting PG-13 film to a crazy and hilarious you are not sure what to expect horror film as the security guard gets involved because he is a paranormal expert in his free time. As the girl investigates the house she becomes involved in an unsolved mystery of many years that took place before her parents bought the house. Another great horror film from New Zealand that has a bit of everything that makes it quite entertaining and shows why Hollywood doesn’t have a clue. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Thor: The Dark World (DVD) – A solid sequel to a boring character that Marvel Films has found a way to make interesting or at least entertaining for me. Unlike the Captain America sequel you do not feel like this film is keeping you in a holding pattern for the “Avengers” sequel. The film explores more of the Thor mythology as Thor must rely on his evil brother Loki to not only save Asgard but Earth as an ancient enemy has reappeared when Jane Foster mistakenly finds a power source that awakens evil elves. As Marvel keeps them coming I will keep watching as I give this sequel 2 ½ stars.

 

Tusk (DVD) – To be honest I did not know what to expect from this Kevin Smith film as a) it’s a horror film and b) critics have destroyed this film publicly from the start but that isn’t any different from anything else Kevin has set out and done. Two podcasters played by Justin Long and Haley Joel Osment have a very popular podcast called, “Not See Podcast”. Each week Justin’s character travels to places to look for stupid, strange stories and comes back home to talk about them on the podcast to his partner. Justin travels to Canada to search out a kid who got 30 million hits on YouTube for cutting his leg off with a sword. He finds out the kid killed himself and wants to find another story before he leaves the Great White North. While using the restroom he finds an ad for an old man who has stories to tell. Long’s character goes to visit him and that is where shit gets truly bizarre and if that isn’t enough for you there is a story about a walrus penis! Want more? How about Johnny Depp as Guy Lapointe plays an investigator who has been trying to track down this old dude who just happens to be a serial killer who has a fascination for walruses. It may possibly be the most creative and bizarre film Kevin Smith has ever done or ever will but it had my attention at this oddity all the way. I promise you the viewer that you have never seen a film quite like this… I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

See yinz at Horror Realm March 6-8th, 2015. For details visit www.horrorrealmcon.com .

The top ten 2014 movie list from Gross Movie Reviews

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The Art of the Steal (On Demand) – If you were awaiting Kurt Russell’s comeback like I was you will not be disappointed in this crime/action flick that has Kurt Russell as an aging thief who did 5 ½ years in a Poland prison and now retired from the life of crime after his brother put him there. Russell is a motorcycle riding stuntman who pretty much does stunts for small carnivals and so on which pales in comparison what he used to do in another life. But when an opportunity arises for Russell to not only get back in the game but be remembered for one of the biggest art heists ever he has a plan you don’t see coming until it is over. The film is well directed, well casted, and kept me at the edge of my seat the whole time. Loved every second of screen time Russell had and just to top it off General Zod from “Superman 2” is a former art thief who helps authorities look into criminals like Russell’s character. The film is absolutely brilliant and cannot wait to watch it again as I believe it will be one of the best films for me in 2014 as I give it 4 stars.

WolfCop (DVD) – I always enjoy when I find or hear about films like this feeling like the film was made just for me to watch and review?! The title says it all and I laughed my nutsack off watching this masterpiece. A drunken deputy of a small town named Lou that is useless keeps being sent out for disturbances in the woods of kids partying or doing satanic shit until one night his ass gets knocked out and wakes up in his own bed. Lou has flashes of what happened the night before but is unsure and soon becomes a cop who wants answers. Soon we got fun werewolf transformations; bad jokes that make me laugh my ass off, and a “Wolf Cop” car that is bad ass! Lou begins his bloody rampage through town trying to find answers and uncovers the truth behind the town’s leaders and why every 32 years a local event gets canceled. I love cheap Canadian horror movies as the filmmaker and company knew they were making a cheese fest and embraced it and that is what makes this one of my favorite horror films of 2014 as I give this son of a bitch 4 stars! And thank the lord there is a sequel in the works!

Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead (On Demand) – We see Martin has survived the bloodbath of the first film but has forgotten he has a gold coin in the car and the Nazi zombies still want it! After Martin has driven off the road and wrecked. The Nazi zombies have a new mission and they need new soldiers to complete it. Meanwhile Martin has a zombie arm reattached to his body and is believed by police to have killed everyone on the mountain top. Martin knows he must stop Herzog and his zombie army or this will never end. Martin gets in touch with the Zombie Squad through the internet and they are hell bent on helping Martin stopping the Nazi zombie army from completing their mission! The sequel is just as awesome as the first flick and like the first film “Dead Snow 2” wastes no time making sure this will be a memorable and over the edge zombie film you will never forget. We got supernatural zombie arms, gore, zombies driving tanks, kids getting smashed and torn to pieces, Russian soldier zombies, more gore, reviving zombies all what you would expect from a sequel to one of the most memorable zombie films ever made ! I give the flick 4 stars and to me is one of the best horror movies of 2014…

House of Oddities: The Story of the Atrocity Exhibition (Vimeo/DVD) – An amazing documentary that takes you on the journey of how a local Atrocity Exhibition got started and how some very different and passionate people make it happen. Independent filmmaker Brian Cottington lends his talents in filming this small group of artists that want to entertain people whether through art, theater, dance, etc. And give the mainstream something that isn’t looked at as your typical sideshow or freakshow but true art or freedom of expression. Cottington gives you an inside look of how a small group of artists came together from many walks of life and put together a show that not only has a loyal following but grows by the minute. A show that is very different from anything you have seen before and to keep people in attendance guessing they change the show every year. I believe this is a perfect documentary filmed by Brian Cottington for the mere fact this isn’t something I am into but after watching this has my full respect for what they do. Oddities they are not, artists they are and I am grateful for that and the people who were apart of this documentary. I give this wonderful film 4 out of 4 stars and can be seeked out at www.houseofodditiesmovie.com .

Snow Piercer (DVD) – Humans fuck up the future again in this brilliant post-apocalyptic action film that seems to have some star power names in front and behind the camera. 2014 many countries shoot up in the air this experimental gas or what not called CW-7 that is supposed to slow or stop global warming. Instead, it sends the world into the next ice age within days. Well, with a railroad that is connected completely around the globe two men invent a train that never stops as it protects what’s left of humanity. 17 years has past now and the train is still chugging along difference is the people at the back of the train are tired of being prisoners of the rich at the head of the train. And there is an order that must be kept or the train could go in chaos causing humanity to die off. So it soon becomes a story of one man and his idea of making it to the head of the train everyone will be equal. A lot of social issues, a lot of gore, and an amazing story make this one of the best films of 2014 that will not make the theaters for most. I give the film 4 stars even though I am not sure I like the ending?

Found (Vimeo) – An award winning independent film made for about $8000 with the story revolving around a 12 year old boy who is at that awkward age of “are you a boy, are you a teenager?” The boy is named Marty and narrates a lot of the film as Marty looks up to his older brother who likes horror movies and does not have many friends. But Marty’s brother does have a secret and it is in the closet in a bowling ball bag. Marty likes to go and inspect what’s in the bag as it changes often. Marty doesn’t have many friends either and gets bullied often in school but he is more concerned learning more about his brother because he looks up to him and his parents who don’t care for the brother. But as we get to the heart of the film, the movie goes from a story of a boy’s innocence and awkwardness to complete off the hinge brutality in the last 20 or 30 minutes that will leave your jaw hanging open! This movie is amazing and has one of the best endings since the release of the horror film “Inside”! One of the best independent films that I have seen in 2014 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.  It is available on DVD at amazon.com and if it helps it got banned twice in Australia because its original cut of the film. It also won the first ever Elvira’s Horror Hunt Film Festival. More about the film can be found at: http://www.theoctoberpeople.net/ or their Facebook page of the same name.

 

Invaluable (DVD) – A documentary that was written/directed/edited by independent filmmaker Ryan Meade, who took it upon himself to bring to light the greatness of Mr. Tom Sullivan. If by some chance you do not know who this man is you are missing something in your life. Mr. Sullivan or we should call him Mr. Evil Dead was the man who did the amazing special effects for the first “Evil Dead” film and is a superb artist also! The documentary dives into Sullivan’s life from the time he grew up and met Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell to his soul mate dying (which I never knew about) to how Sullivan with just a chance meeting with Cinema Wasteland’s Ken Kish at a convention in the late 90s made him an icon among horror movie fans and convention goers alike. The film has interviews with Michael Berryman, the ladies of “Evil Dead”, Bruce Campbell all talking about Tom Sullivan not only being a great friend but the backbone of a film that still has generations of horror fans talking about over 30 years later! The film promotes Tom Sullivan’s artwork which is just amazing and I could stare at all day but also shows his traveling “Evil Dead” museum. Ryan should be proud of this project because there are still many people out there that don’t know about Mr. Sullivan and should. Tom is one of my favorite celebrities to have ever met and I will tell everyone he is one of us… a horror fan and has fun still too this day doing what he does. I give this perfect insight into the life of the artist Tom Sullivan 4 out of 4 stars. Now do yourself a favor and go visit this page and support Ryan Meade and Tom Sullivan: http://ryanmeadesmovies.wix.com/invaluablemovie .

Late Phases (DVD) – A blind Vietnam vet is being moved into a senior community by his son only on his first to have his neighbor attacked by a werewolf. He soon finds out there has been a lot of dogs missing and attacks once a month in the community chalked up to wildlife since the gated community was built near some dense woods. The blind vet decides he has a month to prepare and figure out who is the werewolf and kill it and the movie fleshes it out brilliantly. Great flick, Tom Noonan as a priest, and Robert Kurtzman as creature effects supervisor, count me in on this being one of the best horror flicks of 2014 as I give 4 stars.

The World’s End (Blu-ray) – Edgar Wright in to direct, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost to star… Yep, the band is back together for their third outing and it doesn’t disappoint. Character Gary King (Simon Pegg) wants to relive some moments from being a graduating teenager in his old small town. More than anything to go and have one beer in all 12 pubs with his friends, something that got sidetracked years ago. Once King has convinced all his old buddies that this is a good idea they roll into the small town to begin the drinking marathon. Slowly, the friends notice everything is kinda weird and they are convinced once Gary gets into a fight with a younger guy in a bathroom and rips his head off. Things are not what they used to be. The friends in their drunken state must figure out what the hell is going on and how they can get the hell out of town! The film is hilarious and non-stop comedy gold. The Blu-ray has possibly the most extras I have ever seen on one disc as I give the film 4 stars.

 

X-Men: Days of Future Past (Theater) – Been awhile since I been to the theater and what better way to do it than going opening weekend to see the summer film that brings together old and new X-men universes together. The war is all but lost in the future as Professor X and Magneto believe they have a way to change the future to change everything. This way mutants and humanity will survive the Sentinels. Wolverine’s conscious is sent back to 1973 to convince Professor X who has fallen on very hard times and Magneto who is imprisoned 1000 feet underground by the government to come together and stop Mystique/Raven from killing Trask the man who invented the Sentinels. They believe this the event that has set the war in motion and if stopped and changed history will change. The only one that would know of this is Wolverine if he succeeds, if not they all die. Everyone makes an appearance except Gambit in this amazing and wonderful summer film. This is the type of film all should enjoy as it brought out the inner kid in me while watching it. Enjoy this summer movie for what it is a fun popcorn superhero flick and stop being cynical as I give it 4 stars.

Notable movies that were great but just didn’t make the Gross Movie Review Top Ten list for 2014

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Manborg (DVD) – A complete over-the-top nutzoid, stop motion, CGI, anime influenced, mind blowing fantasy film from Steve Kostanski that pits humans vs. Hell’s Armies in the future after Count Draculon wasn’t stopped during a war long ago. In the future, Draculon’s armies have taken over and most of mankind is gone or underground. During the war long ago a man fighting Count Draculon was believed killed but became an experiment called, “Manborg” awakens in this hellish future. Manborg may be the one hope for mankind as he is taken into custody after killing a guard who was chasing an escape prisoner aka an extra from Mortal Kombat. Once in Hell’s prison he must fight in the arena. With help from other prisoners they soon begin killing all of Hell’s Armies. Soon Manborg learns to harness his powers after escaping and Manborg and friends begin an all-out assault on Count Draculon! The film is literally like a comic book geek’s brain exploded on screen. I enjoyed this completely unique and crazy film but feel there will be some fans that just won’t understand what exactly the film is and dislike it. I give this Mr. Kostanski’s amazing effort 3 ½ stars.

To Die is Hard (DVD) – From the brilliant mind of “Midget Zombie Takeover”, independent filmmaker Glenn Berggoetz gives us an independent comedy/action spoof that mostly covers “Die Hard”.  An English professor named Joe has a perfect life where his perfect wife and perfect kid adore him as he goes off to his State College on a Friday morning when most staff and students are off for the day. But during this perfect day some bad dudes aka terrorists break into the State College office because they need a key to a room that holds their treasure which just so happens to be office supplies. But the terrorists have picks the wrong state college to break into as Joe McCann is just a pissed off English professor that will not take this lying down. So Joe goes into awesome ultimate male action star mode to bring down the terrorists where he ends it with ‘heart punching’ the leader Anton to death!  Everything from scenes of Joe telling stories of his softball team, a co-worker trying to figure out tea bagging, Joe’s wife and daughter talking about him being a Greek goddess with a straight face, or the detective eating cheese puffs outside doing nothing made me have tears stream out of my eyes cause I was laughing so hard. Spoofs especially independent ones can be hard to pull off but in this case Glenn and company did a wonderful job with this great flick. And who cannot like characters getting slapped in almost every scene “Airplane-style” for no apparent reason as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.drivingeyes.com .

The Rest is Very Boring (DVD) – Independent filmmaker Jorge Delarosa and The Slow Mutants crew are always doing something different go with a new film project that tells a story of a good friend of theirs named Frank Bochard. Now, I do not know this person and most likely you don’t either but what makes the film interesting is we all know a person or have a friend that is Frank Bochard who is talented, lives on the fringe of life, a person you wanna know, and goes by the beat of their own drum. And this film documents the life of Frank Bochard up until his untimely end. His friends, family, and teachers tell stories and bring you into what Frank was like. Just like Frank Bochard, Jorge Delarosa and The Slow Mutants crew give you another very interesting and very emotionally moving project that keeps expanding what you can do independently these days and they should be proud as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. You can always find out more about it at www.slowmutants.com .

Back Road (DVD) – Independent film producer and writer Jon Manthei with the help of writer/director Joseph Thompson is back at it again with his latest short film that in my belief could make a great 75 or 80 minute feature. The film follows Tommy and Tabaitha who are on their first date and have a flat tire on a long dirt road and its getting dark. Together they find help from a kind stranger driving by only to find they are next on the family’s menu but the film ends when it is just beginning as one of the couple have a surprise for the cannibal family. The film feels like “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and 3” meets “From Dusk Till Dawn” as it lures you in with the feeling you have seen this film before until the surprise happens and makes you want more from the talented duo. What makes the film work really well is not only how well the surprise is set up but I thought the two actors playing Tommy and Tabaitha played the ‘awkward first date couple’ so well you actually feel really bad when they are first kidnapped. I give the short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars and hope the talented duo listens and fleshes out a feature of this short film with a little more darker and demonic overtone to it? To find out more about Jon Manthei, Joseph Thompson, and their future projects go check out www.facebook.com/campfirepictures . Oh by the way look for the Ted Nugent for President bumper sticker, it fits perfect in this short film.

7th Day (DVD) – In the past most independent filmmakers would make a serial killer film and as a reviewer I would  almost cringe at the thought of it as the project was usually brainless, bloodless, and a complete waste of time as they would try to mostly use naked women to sell the bad product. But the past year or two independent filmmakers and writers have blown me away how they have been able to make these lean, mean, gritty, serial killer films that make Hollywood blush. And Jason Koch made sure this project was no different than that trend in blowing me away with the “7th Day” film. We meet a man named Allen Dean who knows what he is and tells the viewer plain and simple, “This is what he does.” Allen narrates most of the film or talks to a ghost, his conscience, image of a mutated reporter (take your pick) and takes you the viewer through his insanely sleazy life. Allen Dean would like you to know he picks his victims by “selections” and is completely sane even if he feels the need to do cocaine with his neighbor or have sex with one of his victims. Even with all that going on Mr. Dean is trying to figure out how he can get the love of his life to notice him at his dead end job. The film takes an unconventional roller coaster ride into the gross and sick world of Allen Dean, with just a dash of sleaze that makes you want to watch and enjoy the film alone and be sure to take a shower after. Bravo Jason Koch, you have gotten my attention and most likely many others and good luck. I give the project 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find the film at: www.direwitfilms.com .

Doc of the Dead (DVD) – Another great documentary that covers everything zombies from Max Brooks to George Romero to the black and white flick White Zombie. Lots of cool interviews and clips covering not only the history of movie zombies but even talking about people who actually prepare for the zombie apocalypse. Simon Pegg makes an appearance as does Greg Nicotero along with Tom Savini to show this documentary means business talking everything zombies. So zombie fans shamble to whenever you can a copy of this and enjoy as I give it 4 stars.

 

Hopscotch (DVD) – A quite different short film from Kirsten Walsh who gives the viewer an intense curveball of an independent film that relies more on its dialogue and performances by its all-female cast than your usually boobs, shitty gore effects, and bad acting that a good portion of independent films rely on. I should know as I have watched and reviewed many as some believe too many at times. But always enjoy when a filmmaker like a Kirsten Walsh produces something like “Hopscotch” that makes you want to pay attention to all dialogue and also has a great uneasy feeling of not sure where the film may take you. But anyway Bridget is an escort who is brought to a big home by a young woman named Jolene. Bridget is there to service a character named Mr. Andre but never sees him when she gets into deep conversation with Jolene and a curious houseguest named Rebecca. From there the film blooms into this great creepy oddity that will have you wanting more especially after the film’s interesting ending. Big props to Kirsten Walsh for putting together an independent short film worth talking about as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the project at www.facebook.com/hopscotchfilm .

Jack Reacher (DVD) – A Tom Cruise flick that was shot in my hometown Pittsburgh, Pa. The film was originally called, “One Shot” but title like most quickly changed once filming wrapped up. But wait Tim Gross is watching another Tom Cruise flick. Heard great things about the film so I figured I would force myself to sit long enough to give it a chance… And I was not disappointed. Someone guns down five people in front of PNC Park that seems like random crazy violence only to frame a half ass sniper from the military. Once in questioning the only thing the man says after 16 hours to the police is “Jack Reacher”. Jack Reacher is a former MP who was great at his job and seems to be a ghost as he went off the grid a few years ago. Once the story goes national Reacher arrives in Pittsburgh to have a conversation with the man’s lawyer and do his own investigation which uncovers a much bigger plot. The film is awesomely written and Tom Cruise plays the part of Jack Reacher perfectly. It’s a kick ass action flick I did not expect and with this latest project Cruise is beginning to restore my faith in him as an actor but also his projects. Do yourself a favor and check out this cool flick if you haven’t seen it. But what’s even cooler is that they used all of Pittsburgh so well and really thought they did a great job of using the extras in the flick and making them true Pittsburghers except none said “Yinz”! I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Dry Bones (DVD) – Anytime a cool independent filmmaker such as Gregory Lamberson contacts you about a new flick you take notice… Especially when he was the dude that gave us the beautiful slime/gorefest “Slime City Massacre”! So when I got this screener I could not wait to sit down and watch a film that stars Debbie Rochon and Kevin Van Hat Trick aka Duane Smith aka just go watch “Basket Case” if you are not a nerd like I am. But anyway Lamberson’s latest is about a boy named Andrew who has a monster living under his bed and so frighten he is unsure that he can ever sleep again. Or it can be he is holding a piece of history in his hands (Fangoria #1, Godzilla cover) and knows how much it is worth? But anyway his dad (Bart) comes barging in because he cannot hear “Charlie’s Angels” and wants to put a beating upon Andrew but soon finds himself face to face with the hideous monster living under Andrew’s bed. Many years go by and Andrew now Drew has returned to town for the first time in years because his sister wants to sell their parents’ house. With nowhere to stay and needing to make repairs to the house before its sold Drew decides to move back to his original home thinking the monster is in his past. Drew was wrong! Soon Drew has strange dreams, all who enter are dying in a horrible manner, and the neighbors believe the home is haunted. A great independent horror film with cool practical monster effects and one of the best actresses ever as a Succubus… I want a sequel and I want Debbie Rochon in even more monster make-up because she makes it look so fun and awesome! All I got to say horror fans thank god for filmmakers like Gregory Lamberson as I give his new flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Flu (DVD) – An amazing recent Korean film that tackles social issues when a horrible superbug or superstrain of Avian Flu arrives when human traffickers open a shipping container that is supposed to have a bunch of people that paid to be in Korea instead are all horribly dead except for one man who escapes. Soon between the escapee and the human traffickers the super flu is being spread throughout the suburb city of Seoul and with no cure Seoul, Korea is next and the world after. Doctors and foreign leaders struggle to come up with a plan of action until a cure is found. A very dramatic and social commentary on how the government treats people no matter what part of the world you live in. The film is dubbed for those of you who hate reading movies… Kyle Poling! The amount of cool gore shots is underrated also. I give this Korean flick 4 star.

Wolf Creek 2 (On Demand) – Surprised it took how many years later for a sequel but there is one and if you are a fan of the first you will like the second film as it starts out just like the first film. The first half of the film is all set-up like the first film but takes a very different but fun turn as it goes the direction of 1986’s “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2” where it changes from just being another torture film to a complete fun chaotic ride into horror! The film dives knee deep in gore and character development of the cannibalistic bushman Mic Taylor. At first I wasn’t liking the sequel but as the film got going in the second half it made appreciate staying patient and enjoying this fun horror mess of a film. I give one of the best horror films of 2014, 3 ½ stars and hope there will be another sequel.

Guardians of the Galaxy (Theater) – If anything this film proves Marvel can do anything at this point. After a kid is abducted when he was twelve and he becomes a ‘Ravager’ which retrieves things legally and illegally for a price. Now as an adult or Starlord he enjoys being known as is asked to retrieve a rock that just so happens to have an ancient power source that could destroy planets. Soon in a space prison with a talking tree, a green woman assassin, a talking mutant raccoon, and a muscle bound lunatic they make a plan to break out of the space prison and go find this stone to get paid. If they can work together long enough they may just save worlds. Like I said, Marvel can do anything now and this film proves it as this isn’t your run of the mill comic book characters everyone knows. The “Guardians of the Galaxy” universe is lesser known to the mainstream but has a huge rabid following among comic book readers for years. James Gunn and company have made a Marvel movie that may appeal to all audiences as I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

Dead Before Dawn (DVD) – A hilarious zombie film starring Christopher Lloyd who needs his grandson to watch his store “The Occult Barn” so he go receive his lifetime achievement award. Problem is his grandson saw his father die in the store 15 years ago and has been scared shitless of everything since. On a whim he the grandson decides to help out Lloyd’s character and watch the store but everything goes to hell when friends come by and he drops a skull shaped urn that unleashes an evil that turns all the people they look at into zimons! Half zombie, half demon and the people commit suicide first before they change. And if you French kiss a zimon it becomes your slave. Oh one more thing if you do not fix the urn before dawn it will be hell on earth forever. What seems corny and possibly horrible at first glance is actually really good and worth giving a chance as it breathes a little more life into a very saturated zombie genre! I give it 3 ½ stars. And Christopher Lloyd is still one of my favorite actors.

 

The Device (Vimeo) – Jeremy Berg and John Portanova who are a part of the independent film company “The October People” are back at it with this new release that deals with possible alien abduction and strange events that are in the same vein as “The X-Files”. Abby and Rebecca are sisters who have been a part for many years have gotten back together at an old cabin again to spread their mother’s ashes. While walking through the woods discussing the past they come across a strange black sphere and something that could be a wrecked plane? They bring back the strange black sphere and that’s when things get weird… Dreams of creepy aliens, pregnancy, death, and etc., leads up to an amazing ending for this independent sci-fi thriller that I must say is one of the best independent films of 2014. Bravo Mr. Berg and Mr. Portanova as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. The film is available through amazon.com and for details on upcoming projects please check out www.theoctoberpeople.com .

Coming Soon Gross Movie Reviews fans!!!

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Its been over a year in the making and its all coming to a finish very soon. This is the final artwork from great friend and a great artist Ed Quillin! This book will mark a new beginning or the beginning of the end for me as an author. As any author can tell you it can be tough trying to sell your work?… But anyway crazy movie fans this marks book number eight I have produced in the past 11 years so keep an eye out for its release day and until then enjoy Ed Quillin’s wonderful artwork and

Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

 

Wrath of Gross colorWrath of Gross B&W

 

Gross Movie Reviews#325

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Gross Movie Reviews #325

By Tim Gross

 

In the Name of the King 3: The Last Mission (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Uwe Boll uses his endless supply of money to make another sequel to a film that no one cared about in the first place. But hey, don’t let the little things like that stop you as Dominic Purcell star in this new fantasy adventure. Purcell’s character is a hitman who is sucked into a different time/dimension of fantasy when he takes an amulet from a girl he kidnapped that just happens to match the tattoo on his wrist. Dragons, a prophet, hot warrior women, and Purcell’s character learns a life lesson before he is sent back to the future. I give it 1 ½ stars. Mr. Boll I personally would like more monster movies or horror movies since you have this endless supply of funds?

 

You’re Next (DVD) – A film that starts off innocent but soon becomes a film in the same vein as a “Funny Games”, “Strangers”, etc., you get the picture. A family who is not super rich but let’s says well off is getting together for their parents’ anniversary. The kids/adults are all older but still have sibling rivalry. But during dinner they get attack by a person or persons with arrows being shot through the windows. The movie then evolves into the family trying to survive an onslaught from unseen murder/ murderers or are they in this bloody fun film. Barbara Crampton stars which is always a plus and the only flaw of the film is you see the ending coming about ten minutes in but has its gory moments that make you happy you checked the flick out. I give it 3 stars.

 

WNUF Halloween Special (DVD) – A found footage film released by Camp Motion Pictures recently that tries to do something different with the same old concept of found footage. The film is a fake Halloween special with a séance about to happen in a haunted house in small town America. The found footage is a news broadcast that leads into the special that is on a public access channel and made to look grainy and crappy like a VHS tape would look like today if played when it recorded this special in the late 80s. The flick gets annoying quickly but what saves and makes this watchable is the commercials as they are all fake commercials that were made to fit the time frame when the special would have taken place? And for me that was a treat because I grew up watching a lot of bad cable TV and remember the bad computer repair, College Tech, love chat lines, and other bad commercials that were a product of that time. I give the film special a ½ star but the commercials 3 stars and applaud their efforts for making them.

 

Robot Ninja (VHS) – In the age of weird, horrible, obscure low budget VHS movies getting legit releases and special VHS/DVD combo releases I am very surprised there is never been any news on this relatively lesser known gory comic bookish horror film. J. R. Bookwalter’s second feature was made in four months and $15,000, a lot less than his first feature “The Dead Next Door”. The film revolves around comic book artist Lenny who is upset with his agent selling the rights of the comic to NBC for a weekly series and is now being pressured by his boss to start making the comic book more like the weekly series. This makes Lenny go over the edge and become the real life Robot Ninja after he tries to stop three individuals from raping a couple on the edge of a freeway. He has the costume made; he is taking a massive amount of drugs, it’s time for Lenny/Robot Ninja to take to the streets looking for revenge! The film is a disgustingly fun time for J.R.’s second effort. I give the movie 2 ½ stars. The film also boasts appearances from Linnea Quigley, Burt Ward, and Scott Spiegel. I remember first seeing the film in 1990 when I helped a video store order it out of the Cinema Home Video catalog.

 

Boggy Creek (DVD) – First off I tried tracking down info on this Sasquatch film to see if it was a remake or even any relation to the films of same name but I came up empty. So, the filmmakers are that good making sure there wasn’t any info linking this low budget flick and the originals or everyone doesn’t give a fuck that it was a remake? So anyway we have swamp sasquatches that have been killing males and breeding with females for about 40 years or so in the swamp and the sasquatches like eating humans. I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

mediatrix

Mediatrix (DVD) – Cory J. Udler is a filmmaker that gave us the great trilogy of “Incest Death Squad” which I highly recommend. This time around he doesn’t go too far from keeping Christianity into his storyline as a woman of the name Mary Ann Van Hook is or was a fake medium (long story). As a child she could see things but now as an adult she is busy collecting money from the local men who want to bang her in the ass! Then as a child people from all around the world would come to visit her who believed in her holy visions but it was ruined by a man of the clergy and his unspeakable unchristian-like acts. Miss Van Hook who is hooked on drugs, alcohol, and prostitution has a plan for a local woman named Carrie Brackett who still believes in Miss Hook’s powers. Miss Hook just needs to clean herself up enough to make the plan work and knows Carrie doesn’t know about Hook’s past with her husband. It is brutal, disgusting, and just so much fun to watch what Miss Van Hook will make people believe next in this tale of some people will believe anything. Thanks again Cory for a film like no other as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. You can find the film at www.incestdeathsquad.com .

 

Netherworld (DVD) – David Schmoeller directs this Full Moon film from the early days of Full Moon that I swore off after seeing it when I was in high school. So I thought it was time to give it a second chance after 20 years to see if it was still as bad as I thought it was? A man named Corey Thornton inherits an estate from a father he never knew that is in the heart of the bayou where black magic thrives, Cory’s dead father asks to be brought back from the dead, and a lot of sex stuff happens! If that wasn’t enough a witch of sorts has power of a cement hand or ‘hand of Satan’ to kill people. Surprisingly enough I made it through and thought it was better than “Demonic Toys vs. Dollman”. I give the film 2 stars.

 

Spiders (DVD) – The government and NASA are screwing around with genetically mutated spider that just happens to crash land back on earth after an experiment goes wrong. The military shows up to gather the wreckage and bodies and doesn’t know about the three young reporters who stumble upon the crash thinking aliens who hide in a truck to find out the real story. Soon spiders begin to fuck people up in an underground facility. The creature effects were done by KNB! Fun throwback flick to the sci-fi 50s as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Psycho II (DVD) – Possibly one of the most underrated sequels of all time as Anthony Perkins reprises his role as Norman Bates. Tom Holland the writer crafted an amazing story of bringing this legendary character back to the big screen. The movie now over 30 years old and still hasn’t lost its touch as Norman has been released from the criminally insane after 22 years. He returns to his home and motel with his doctor knowing he must face his fears of what happen so many years ago. Norman is older, wiser, and just wants to adjust to life in the real world again and even has a job at the local diner down the road. But soon Norman begins hearing his mother’s voice and seems to be receiving notes from her and tries to believe she is dead but some in the area still have the events of 1960 fresh in their mind and want Norman to be locked up again. Authorities keep an eye on Norman as people begin to disappear and the Bates Motel reopens under Norman’s management. The clever writing makes this film work on so many levels and Anthony Perkins lets the uncomfortable, awkward, easily excited psycho Norman Bates personality out as this movie proves he was perfect for the role. As Robert Englund for Freddy and Kane Hodder for Jason, some people are just meant to be and Mr. Perkins made the Norman Bates character so scary without effort. Do yourself a favor and rewatch this this classic sequel that I still believe doesn’t get the love it deserves as I give it 4 stars. And be sure you pay attention as there is a funny line in the film when Norman says with his straight demeanor, “I do not kill people anymore”.

 

Psycho III (DVD) – Two years go by and another sequel is born this time directed by Anthony Perkins himself as the movie picks right up from the end of part two but eventually falls apart in the end. Norman Bates still adjusting to his new life but has accepted his mother will always be with him hires a new assistant manager in Jeff Fahey and has a new tenant named Maureen. A blond that he soon lets his desire out to kill but instead saves her when he finds her trying to commit suicide in room #1 where it all began so many years ago. Norman tries to keep the inner psycho locked inside of him and tries to have a relationship with Maureen but he eventually goes mad and begins to kill again. As Norman does say “Everyone goes a little mad every once in a while”. The movie is fun and you cannot get enough of Anthony Perkins but the film seems to fall apart or doesn’t stay strong as part two in the last ten to fifth-teen minutes. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Psycho IV: The Beginning (DVD) – Henry Thomas plays a young Norman Bates in this film where Norman Bates now trying to live a normal life away from the Bates Motel calls into a radio station to talk about mother killers. Norman tells the story of what led up to him killing his mother and why he had to keep her corpse. It may have not been the ideal finale we wanted but it is a worthy one as Anthony Perkins returns, CCH Pounder is the disc jockey Norman tells the story too, Olivia Hussey plays Norman’s mother, Mick Garris directs and John Landis is the producer of the station. I just believe Anthony Perkins knew he didn’t have much more time on this earth and wanted to give fans a film that explains the Norman character in-depth but also tie it all up. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Battle of the Damned (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Dolph Lundgren is a former special forces officer who is sent into a quarantined zone in Southeast Asia where a whole city has been shut down because of a zombie outbreak. He goes in with his team to find a daughter of a CEO whose company made the viral outbreak possible. Lundgren, zombies, and robots pretty much tell you everything you need to know as the only thing that would have made the film better was a bigger budget as I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

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Gross Movie Reviews #324

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Gross Movie Reviews #324

 

By Tim Gross

 Hack

Hack – O – Lantern (VHS) – The lesser known 80s horror film is best known under its title “Halloween Night”. The film directed by Jag Mundhra which I had to watch the movie for the mere reason he has “Jag” as a name. Can’t help it, it’s a Pittsburgh thing. But anyway Jag directs a film about satanic grandpa who has special plans for his grandson or son? When you watch the flick you’ll understand. Gramps has a satanic cult going and he is shaping his grandson/son into the next leader of this evil cult. Problem is Tommy isn’t following Grandpa’s lead. The film is a lot of fun as we got incest, butt tattoos, a Dead End Drive-in poster, a horrible party band, and possible sacrifices! Sounds like a classic Halloween horror film worth watching as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Snakehead Swamp (SyFy Channel/DVD) – God damn experimental snakeheads find their way into the Louisiana swamp and they are eating all the locals. But one man believes it’s a legendary curse from a relative that was wrongly murdered 200 years ago who is angry and seeking revenge on those who live there. “Snakehead Terror” was more fun and SyFy Channel seems hell bent on going to the well one too many times on these types of films. SyFy, they all cannot be “Frankenfish”! I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Eye of the Tiger (DVD) – Its 1986 and Gary Busey hasn’t fought Mel Gibson and the great “end of the film fight” scene yet and hasn’t fucked himself up so bad with drugs he has become a running joke? Busey’s character is a man who just got released from jail after serving a few years and just wants to go back home and start all over with his kid and wife. Well, a motorcycle gang led by William Smith has other plans. Best way to describe this flick with legendary actor Yaphet Kotto is calling it an extended episode of “A-Team” starring Gary Busey! I give the film 3 stars.

 

The Lego Movie (DVD) – “Everything is awesome!!!” That pretty much explains the whole film and that song will get stuck in your head for days. The film is a great mix of comedy, drama, and family entertainment. I was surprised how good this movie was and is for anyone 2 years old or 200… Also you might end up wanting to bust out your old Legos too after watching this flick as I give it 4 stars.

Mega Scorpions (Full Moon Streaming) – J.R. Bookwalter decided in 2003 to put together a giant bug film starring the wonderful Trent Haaga, the beautiful Brinke Stevens, independent vet Jeff Dylan Graham, and before porn career Sunny Leone. Most likely because he had seen the popularity of it on SyFy Channel but because of a deal Full Moon had with another studio the film wasn’t released until late last year. Six foot scorpions fucking people’s days up… Yep, I’ll watch that! I give it 2 stars. And once again Trent Haaga was AWESOME!

 

Watchers 3 (VHS) – “I got it on the VH”, had to say it just for my mom! This is the Wings Hauser film that I get confused with “Xtro 3: Watch the Skies”. But anyway Roger Corman’s company takes a shot this time around of bringing Dean Koontz’s famous novel “Watchers” to the silver screen by making it a no budget remake of “Predator”. Not as exciting as Carl Weathers losing an arm to an invisible alien hunter but I do love me some Wings Hauser playing fetch with a golden retriever! And for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Insecticidal (DVD) – The movie’s tagline was ‘Sorority Girls vs Giant Bugs’… SOLD! An awesomely horrible film has a young lady named Scary Cami who is doing research and experiments on her pet bugs in the basement of her sorority. One escapes and scares a couple who is bumping uglies upstairs and forces her sorority sisters to spray them with insecticide! This later has an adverse effect as the zombie bugs soon begin to grow six to eight foot tall and have a hunger for stupid naked college girls. The movie is bad, real bad. But in how bad the effects and dialogue is at times I began to find it entertaining like it was filmed this way on purpose knowing that I would be watching it? So you like bad giant bug movies? Get the beer; get the pizza, because I will be coming to your house to watch this classic again! I give it 3 stars for this horrible yet entertaining horror film!

 

Snow Piercer (DVD) – Humans fuck up the future again in this brilliant post-apocalyptic action film that seems to have some star power names in front and behind the camera. 2014 many countries shoot up in the air this experimental gas or what not called CW-7 that is supposed to slow or stop global warming. Instead, it sends the world into the next ice age within days. Well, with a railroad that is connected completely around the globe two men invent a train that never stops as it protects what’s left of humanity. 17 years has past now and the train is still chugging along difference is the people at the back of the train are tired of being prisoners of the rich at the head of the train. And there is an order that must be kept or the train could go in chaos causing humanity to die off. So it soon becomes a story of one man and his idea of making it to the head of the train everyone will be equal. A lot of social issues, a lot of gore, and an amazing story make this one of the best films of 2014 that will not make the theaters for most. I give the film 4 stars even though I am not sure I like the ending?

 

Lockout (DVD) – An updated version of Christopher Lambert’s “Fortress” in many ways stars Guy Pearce as a convict who is asked to break into a space prison to save the president’s daughter Maggie Grace. Great blend of sci-fi, action and the old school one man will defeat 500 stories that never get old! Really enjoyed this flick but seeing Maggie Grace in this flick makes me really respect her film career since she was on “Lost” TV series as keeps picking these great action films. I give the film 3 stars.

Flu

Flu (DVD) – An amazing recent Korean film that tackles social issues when a horrible superbug or superstrain of Avian Flu arrives when human traffickers open a shipping container that is supposed to have a bunch of people that paid to be in Korea instead are all horribly dead except for one man who escapes. Soon between the escapee and the human traffickers the super flu is being spread throughout the suburb city of Seoul and with no cure Seoul, Korea is next and the world after. Doctors and foreign leaders struggle to come up with a plan of action until a cure is found. A very dramatic and social commentary on how the government treats people no matter what part of the world you live in. The film is dubbed for those of you who hate reading movies… Kyle Poling! The amount of cool gore shots is underrated also. I give this Korean flick 4 star.

 

Wolf Creek (DVD) – Since I was going to watch the new sequel it was time to give this Australian torture flick another chance as it came out in the mid-2000s with a slew of other torture flicks that for me isn’t always my cup of tea or beer. Three friends venture off to Wolf Creek Crater in the middle of nowhere to enjoy the sights but get a whole lot more when their vehicle refuses to start. The three friends soon meet a man named Mic Taylor who helps them out and takes him back to his camp/home. Soon the friends wake up to a man who wants to torture and kill them. The movie takes a long while to get going as it lays the story for you to sympathize with the characters like the original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. I don’t hate it, don’t like it but it is Australian and glad I gave it another chance as I give it 2 stars.

 

Wolf Creek 2 (On Demand) – Surprised it took how many years later for a sequel but there is one and if you are a fan of the first you will like the second film as it starts out just like the first film. The first half of the film is all set-up like the first film but takes a very different but fun turn as it goes the direction of 1986’s “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2” where it changes from just being another torture film to a complete fun chaotic ride into horror! The film dives knee deep in gore and character development of the cannibalistic bushman Mic Taylor. At first I wasn’t liking the sequel but as the film got going in the second half it made appreciate staying patient and enjoying this fun horror mess of a film. I give one of the best horror films of 2014, 3 ½ stars and hope there will be another sequel.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews and Jagoff Massacre t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #321

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Gross Movie Reviews #321

 

By Tim Gross

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Class of 1999 (DVD) – It’s the future and schools have gone to hell… Remember the film was released in 1990. But imagine “Escape from New York” at a school and its surrounding community. Gangs have taken over everything and the school system is looking for answers in what to do and Bob Forest played by Stacey Keach is here to give an answer. He introduces the principal (Malcolm McDowell) of this high school to three new teachers played by Pam Grier, Patrick Kilpatrick, and John P. Ryan and they just happen to be androids! Androids built for the ten year war in South America and funded by the Department of Defense. Meanwhile, Cody has just been released from prison and just wants his old gang to leave him alone so he can attend class and not do hard time. Soon Cody’s curiosity gets the best of him when one of the teachers kills a student when a gun is pulled. He learns they are androids and they are beginning to do what they were built for and that is to kill in this awesome Sci-fi action/horror flick. I give this cool film 3 ½ stars.

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Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (VHS) – The film picks up right after the events of the first film but the sequel wasn’t released until 1994. A man who looks like a private investigator is looking into the events of the first film and believes Bob Forest had a ‘Plan B’ if the first three androids failed? The private investigator is actually some dude that was thrown out of the Department of Defense but doesn’t know what the android looks like but is following the dead body trail. So when a stiff, tall, blonde dude shows up at a high school that is having gang related issues and students begin to mysteriously die the investigator looks into it. The sequel isn’t nearly as fun as the first mainly because the cast and the lack of budget compared to the first film as I have to give this flick 1 ½ stars just for Nick Cassavettes being in the flick!

 

Meateaters (Full Moon Streaming) – Its Mark Polonia’s latest independent flick with Brett Piper back doing dinosaur/creature effects. A dinosaur seems to be stalking the woods for humans to eat and some young people just happen to be hanging out there. I was expecting more of a SyFy Channel/Sharknado or even a Tiffany/Deborah Gibson effort but the film just didn’t seem to hit all cylinders at all during its 70 minute run time. I still enjoy Mark Polonia and his films but I have to give this one only 1 ½ stars.

 

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (DVD) – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson joins in on the action as Roadblock along with the original “Joe” played by Bruce Willis in a lackluster sequel with Cobra and his evil members already in the White House with a fake president controlling things and trying to kill the Joes! The first film gave me such high hopes for this series but I believe this sequel may have been the death nail?! I give the boring sequel 1 star.

 

Shakma (VHS) – Mother fucking killer ass monkey fucking doors up, now this is a bad ass movie! I am ashamed I never caught this flick when it was first originally released in 1989. Some doctors in training are playing Dungeons and Dragons in a school building overnight with Roddy McDowell as the Dungeon Master/teacher. Well they fuck up by shooting up a monkey with some shit after it was experimented on and it failed and poof “Killer Monkey on Speed”!!! AWESOME! And let’s not forget the excellent Amanda Wyss also stars. I give the flick 3 stars. So go watch Shakma fuck up some doors.

 

The Runestone (VHS) – This guy Martin brings home an ancient runestone from a coal mine in Western Pennsylvania to his place in New York City. He begins to study it and is possessed by the runestone and becomes this odd werewolf thing that is feeding on New Yorkers. And the only person to stop him is that bad ass long blonde haired villain dude from “Die Hard”! Cool creature, some blood, Western Pa is mentioned, I give it a solid 2 ½ stars.

 

The Unseen (DVD) – Here is a creepy flick from 1980 starring Barbara Bach as a news reporter and her two friends Vicki and Karen who worked with her get screwed out of their room during some town festival. Forced to look miles away for a motel and no luck they run into a chubby, sloppy, weird dude who offers them a room at his big house. Never mind the weird noises you hear in the basement and the chubby dude is just creepy especially when you learn he believes “incest is best”. The young reporter gets curious when her two friends go missing or were just pulled down the furnace vents and discovers what or who is living in the basement. A great ending to a film that may have been a little shocking at its time of release makes for a cool lesser known horror film worth seeking out as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #315

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Gross Movie Reviews #315

 

 By Tim Gross

 

The Visitor (DVD) – The crazy hippie space out film from 1979 is also known as “Stridulum” is being released by Alamo Drafthouse Films. I believe there is no sure way to describe Hippie Jesus and an old dude help alien children and they are from a different dimension or something like that. This film makes the ‘mindfuck’ film “Fight Club” like a normal boring film. Apparently, Space Jesus aka Franco Nero tells a story about an alien prisoner who escaped years ago and pretty much impregnated any woman he could on earth so there would be evil alien children! It only gets better when a 8 year old named Katie shows up at a Lance Henriksen owned Atlanta Rebels basketball game to make a basketball explode in the final seconds and no one questions it. From there Katie’s mom doesn’t want to get married or have another child as Lance’s character presses her to do so as he is being controlled by a room full of unknown men. There is an agenda somewhere but between the old dude John Huston showing up to take Katie to another dimension and some weird sexual thing in white tents on top of a building I am not sure exactly what agenda it is serving except for those of you that will take LSD when watching the film. The film also stars Sam Peckinpah, Shelley Winters, and Glenn Ford in a movie that words cannot do justice for… Which by the way did I mention Space Jesus? Good luck my weird movie watching friends as I give the film 3 stars for just being that out there.

 

Bounty Hunters (VHS) – Michael Dudikoff is a low end bounty hunter that needs a paycheck to his bills that month and pleads to the local police he needs something. Well, he gets a guy he is supposed to pick up that gets him $10,000 but soon realizes he might want more money as a woman bounty hunter has been camping out on the guy for five days and they just got mixed up into some mob business. Unless you are a Dudikoff fan it’s not the most exciting action film as I give it 2 stars.

 

This is the End (DVD) – James Franco is having his usual Hollywood party that has all the young rich stars partying like it’s the end of the world until it is. Earthquakes begin to happen; trees are falling, people getting sucked up by blue lights from the sky, people dying… Once Seth Rogen and his best friend get back from the convenience store, Franco and others board up the house and try to decide what the next move is for them, if any. The film is hilarious but for me not as good as “The World’s End” but was still glad I got to see it. I have to give the flick 3 stars.

 

The Art of the Steal (On Demand) – If you were awaiting Kurt Russell’s comeback like I was you will not be disappointed in this crime/action flick that has Kurt Russell as an aging thief who did 5 ½ years in a Poland prison and now retired from the life of crime after his brother put him there. Russell is a motorcycle riding stuntman who pretty much does stunts for small carnivals and so on which pales in comparison what he used to do in another life. But when an opportunity arises for Russell to not only get back in the game but be remembered for one of the biggest art heists ever he has a plan you don’t see coming until it is over. The film is well directed, well casted, and kept me at the edge of my seat the whole time. Loved every second of screen time Russell had and just to top it off General Zod from “Superman 2” is a former art thief who helps authorities look into criminals like Russell’s character. The film is absolutely brilliant and cannot wait to watch it again as I believe it will be one of the best films for me in 2014 as I give it 4 stars.

 

Machete Kills (DVD) – Danny Trejo is back to reprise his role as “Machete” this time to do a job for his new country and to help out president Carlos Estevez kill a man in Mexico who has his sights or missile aimed at Washington D.C. But when the missile is control by the madman’s heart Machete just can’t kill him he must fight to get him over the border in 24 hours and get the only other person that exists to remove the contraption. Once again lots of over the top action, blood, and famous cameos but in the end I find myself enjoying the first film more than this sequel. Maybe it was missing crazy luchadors? But if Robert Rodriguez is able to pull off a third film that takes place in space that could be even more amazing than the first film! I give the sequel 3 stars and thought it was smart casting choice in making Mel Gibson the villain “Voz”. Now go and enjoy!

 

Hidden (DVD) – A fun horror film about a dude that inherits a building that just happens to hold his mother’s scientific experiments where she believed she could cure addiction all together with the help of a flying insect. But once himself and friends arrive to check out the place and decide what to do with it the man finds out his mother did these experiments hidden away for good reason as strange kids begin to fucking eat his friends one by one. The film reminds me a lot of the relatively unknown horror film “The Kindred” from 1987. The horror film is worth taking a chance on as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Back Road

Back Road (DVD) – Independent film producer and writer Jon Manthei with the help of writer/director Joseph Thompson is back at it again with his latest short film that in my belief could make a great 75 or 80 minute feature. The film follows Tommy and Tabaitha who are on their first date and have a flat tire on a long dirt road and its getting dark. Together they find help from a kind stranger driving by only to find they are next on the family’s menu but the film ends when it is just beginning as one of the couple have a surprise for the cannibal family. The film feels like “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and 3” meets “From Dusk Till Dawn” as it lures you in with the feeling you have seen this film before until the surprise happens and makes you want more from the talented duo. What makes the film work really well is not only how well the surprise is set up but I thought the two actors playing Tommy and Tabaitha played the ‘awkward first date couple’ so well you actually feel really bad when they are first kidnapped. I give the short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars and hope the talented duo listens and fleshes out a feature of this short film with a little more darker and demonic overtone to it? To find out more about Jon Manthei, Joseph Thompson, and their future projects go check out www.facebook.com/campfirepictures . Oh by the way look for the Ted Nugent for President bumper sticker, it fits perfect in this short film.

TRANCERS1_5Newsletter

Trancers City of Lost Angels (DVD) – Finally, the lost sequel or segment for Charles Band’s “Pulsepounders” anthology that never seen the light of day has been restored and released to DVD recently. Most people call it “Trancers 1.5” as the 25 minute film picks sometime after the first film with Jack Deth and his girlfriend Helen Hunt in 1986 running Deth’s detective agency. While during an argument between the two, McNulty knocks on the door after coming down the line to warn Jack about a criminal Edlin Shock who has escaped and wants him dead after spending five years in a prison in the future. Jack Deth springs into action again to return the futuristic criminal only to realize he misses the past and wants to spend his time in the past. It’s great seeing this film as if you are a fan of the series “1.5” fits just right into the timeline and most likely was to help new fans of Full Moon in 1988/1989 to understand the Jack Deth character more as the first film was hard to find depending where you lived. Once the sequels came out, the first film eventually became easier to find especially with the introduction of DVD in the 90s. I give the film 3 stars if you are a fan of the series, 2 stars if you are new to the whole Jack Deth story as most likely since this is one of the earlier Full Moon series that hasn’t had a sequel or reboot in years?

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.