Tag Archives: horror movies

Gross Movie Reviews #672

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Operation Undead (Amazon) – A Thai zombie flick without it being called a zombie film that is set in a fictional story set during true events of World War II. The Japanese army is advancing their way into China and India and wants to find an island where they can use their new experimental biological weapon. The Japanese government and Thai governments meet for peaceful negotiations to allow the Japanese army travel through but the experiment has already landed at an island and it is ravaging the island quickly as police and military assess the damage. Now with the Fumetsu virus out there the Japanese scientists want live specimens for further experimentation but that is being hindered by how quickly the virus is spreading among the islanders. The virus turns the victims into cannibals who can of course infect others but is allowing them to still have brain function to think and see who is human and non-human. The Japanese convince Thai officials they must act quickly to contain this virus. A fun twist for horror fans in this genre to decide if it’s a true zombie flick but also entertaining and enjoyable for the back drop the story is set in as I give the film 3 stars.

What Scares You (DVD-R) – All around talented individual Jason Burke’s latest short film comes off as a bootleg early Nick at Nite one-off from the early 90s that has four friends checking out an old house as they plan to stay the night? The friends challenge each other to speak about “what scares them” along with some tense conversation unknowingly that their fears are about to haunt them. One by one the friends die from what they fear most but before you make judgment on what appears to be hey “I have seen this several times before”, the evil twist is what makes for some scary fun to enjoy as I give the Mr. Burke’s latest 3 out of 4 stars.

Violent Streets (DVD-R) – Another not released yet feature from Indy filmmaker Brad Sykes has unearthed another exciting project he made around 1994! This ambitious project isn’t so much a horror movie as its gang picture on no budget in the vein of 70s and 80s high school gang films. There are two small gangs who were friends at one point but now see things differently as they constantly battle for the upper hand on the other. It becomes personal when one of the battles between Orin and Kane is over a young woman Sara to see who gets to have her for their prize. But Sara isn’t having any of it even though her pals think she is just getting herself in more trouble of not going along with it. Now Orin and Sara must be on the run as this gang war is about to turn deadly. For no budget this was a very ambitious project but Sykes makes up with its gritty SOV style that gives the content a certain charm as the heart of the actors just going for it take after take makes for a very watchable piece of cinema that I give 3 out of 4 stars.

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Killer Kabbage (DVD) – In a not so serious futuristic film with a hilarious concept has scientists in present day 2024 trying to solve the world’s food crisis with experiments on veggies, mostly cabbages! But 200 years in the future the world is a wasteland where a duo of Cage and Gibson look to survive by hunting killer veggies until they are approached by a government droid. The droid instructs the duo to head to a secret location as they are recruited as mankind’s last hope because of radioactivity reasons! The mission is to time travel to 2024, find the original experimental cabbage, and bring back a sample that started this apocalyptic war between killer cabbages and humans. Once the duo time travels and adjusts to present day of 2024 the fight is on as there is limited time before the war begins as they quickly find out the experiments are already out of control! This feels like a lost project from the early 90s from J.R. Bookwalter or the Polonia Brothers with a ‘Bad CGI Sharks’ vibe to it and I absolutely freakin loved it! Don’t be surprised if this pops up on my “Best of 2025 list” as this Indy feature had me laughing out loud several times as I give it 4 out of 4 stars as you had me at Killer Kabbage.

The Psychic (Tubi) – The 1977 Lucio Fulci film is also known as ‘Seven Notes in Black’ as this was a first time watch for me of Fulci’s early work. A young woman Virginia had a vision of her mother committing suicide at a young age and now has had a vision of a woman murdered then buried in the wall of a home. Virginia goes to see her therapist also ex-dude to speak of it being something more but it’s her ex-dude. Problem the home happens to be her new hubby’s house and the cops arrest him on suspicion. Virginia complains to the authorities that there gotta be more to this so she takes to doing her own snooping and heads down a rabbit hole of trying to prove her hubby’s innocence. As Virginia gets deeper in the rabbit hole she begins to have more visions that come true leader her to the killer. For me this piece of Fulci work had more filler than killer but sure there is fans of this project as I give it 2 stars.

City of the Dead (Shudder) – A young college girl in Nan Barlow heads to Whitewood, Mass, to research witchcraft on the advice of her professor (Christopher Lee) so she can turn in a great term paper. Nan’s interest is peaked once she enters this hard to find village and believes she needs to dig into the past immediately. The history of the village is they burned a witch at the stake who cursed all there and Nan is warned to leave quickly by the local priest as he claims evil owns the village and has for hundreds of years. Not long after that Nan goes missing without her professor being too upset by it but her boyfriend and brother soon try to turn the village upside down looking for Nan as the witches are not happy as they may ruin their ritual. Might not be the best of the witch horror films but it is intriguing with Christopher Lee playing the professor who seems to know all that is going on as I give the film 2 stars.

The Temptress (DVD) – An early film project from a young Jeff Kirkendall at the time in 2000-2002 that also includes a short film ‘3 to Murder’ that is a prequel but we will get to that in a bit. The story is about three women who are vampires trying to live life quietly among humans until Angelique shows up demanding the presence of her “first one” Rachel. Angelique and her minions refuse to allow the three to live their undead loves peacefully as she has never gotten over Rachel for not believing in her vamp ways. The project is definitely very rough around the edges and a product of the time in independent cinema at that time but it’s clear you can see Jeff Kirkendall and Tim Hatch were going to be building a relationship in films for a long time coming. Plus the short film (40 minutes) ‘3 to Murder’, the prequel sheds a lot more light on the  story in ‘The Temptress’ that includes a deleted scene that answered a big question for me after watching both. I am gonna guess reasoning behind the short film and the feature is: one, wanted to see if they can do it with what they had? Second, might be Jeff might have made an executive decision that if kept the short and feature together they would be too long and viewers would tune out? Third, breaking them up Charles Band style for more content?  No matter what it is an always fun finding an early project from Indy filmmakers you respect and see where or how far they have come as I give ‘The Temptress’ 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Amityville… Now 65 Entries… I Am Still Fascinated… And Still Waiting For More? (Part Two)

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So folks I return to talk the topic of all topics among horror movie fans, ‘Amityville’. I thought I would be writing this six months down the road but I got sidetracked (three years and 29 entries later). Unlike the ‘Witchcraft’ and ‘Bloodfist’ franchises this is taking more time than I thought it would. First time around I questioned if this was an actual franchise? Maybe taking a second look at it, it could be considered the longest running Indy franchise unless you are even a bigger weirdo than me and bring up the reinvented series ‘Camp Blood’ or ‘Things’ but that is a whole other weirdo conversation we can tackle another time. (Gimme a two week period I will track them all down and watch them) So how have I been since tracked down new entries or how has my life changed since I decided to tackle this film series? Well, I am still demented and completely fascinated with this franchise! But a weird thing has happened on social media to me as I have gotten pulled into rando discussions about the ‘Amityville’ series discussing: how many there actually is, what constitutes an entry, to why I still hate Mt. Misery Road? Point is somehow I have become an “expert” on the ‘Amityville’ series and let’s use that term loosely as it is such a hard thing to explain. The one thing I can explain is why I number the entries as too many people are “trying to be the smartest person in the room or on said social media platform” are counting entries that are never made or hell they are not even watching them. Which not watching the film but doing some kind of review is just a weird thing if you are keeping track? And why? And should we seek you some help as I don’t feel like a complete lunatic when pointing that out. (You may laugh now as that part of the rant is done.)

     Anyway, before I completely lose focus I wanted to write this article because once again the series has slowed down again but is gearing up for a shitload of potential releases in the next six to eight months including myself, my brother “Famous Actor” Tom Gross, and super talented filmmaker Maddie Deering starting production on: Amityville Fishing Hole and Amityville Neighbor. Weird things have happened in these movies being produced… like are there actual physical copies? Are they even streaming? Why only a select few people have seen it? And most of all if finished why didn’t said person or persons release it to a physical format or streaming platform believe me there is much shitter entries out there! Examples: Tea Bag – The same person that gave us Amityville Frankenstein and Elevator supposedly filmed this entry and its two years old? Another filmmaker claimed to have a film called Amityville Poo already finished or almost finished and that was in 2022? Another title that baffles me is Amityville Sharkhouse… why? Well Shawn Phillips has produced six, seven entries already mostly released by SRS Cinema so why not this film that is again two years old now but not seen by anybody except in this inner West Coast circle of Indy people. And let’s not even get into the subgenre of these most likely shot for YouTube ‘Amityville’ flicks but good luck finding them such as Subhuman: The Amityville Experiment, Amityville Versus Galactic Samurai School Girls from Outer Space, Amityville Webcam. There are pictures, promotion for them all over Google but who the Rutger Hauer actually knows these exist… until I watch them.

     Here is a summarized version of some of the entries I have watched since the last article with a few comments and of course all the reviews can be seen at www.grossmoviereviews.com

Amityville: In Space which helped Mark Polonia go viral but I was critical of because he has done better!

Amityville Thanksgiving was just such a boring letdown.

Amityville Scarecrow 2… simply did we actually need a sequel?

Amityville Karen was dead in the water before it even got out there because of its societal reference which there is reasons a project I was going to co-direct and co-produced called Amityville She-shed was a joke for 15 minutes and we smarten up quickly… But that stop me from writing a prequel and turning into a ‘massacre’ story of course.

There was a Quilt Store, a ride-share, a 1977 film renamed under an Amityville title, a curse from Tubi streaming app which jumped into the series feet first, a sad attempt at an Emmanuelle film, a sequel into the ‘Death Toilet’ series, a job interview, Frankenstein, a haunted elevator that almost bored me to death, a bloodbath from a teenager in Florida, A.I. (with a sequel coming) and a Jack the Ripper entry that a solid cast but the filmmaker made the mistake believing he could make a Deadpool entry?

But let me pull yinz back in as then some of the more recent entries got serious, like they got for the love of Rutger Hauer interesting with some real thought behind the entry…

Like entry #59 called The Last Amityville Movie which was one of the most interesting watches as a filmmaker for not much money decided to have a haunted doorknob, a second pandemic, and a way to put an end to the series! Very interesting and creative I must say.

Another entry was about a haunted backpack. It sounds so dumb but found myself not able to turn it off.

Did I happen to mention there was also a sequel to Amityville Thanksgiving called Turkey Day that I questioned if it was an actual movie or just a mess someone threw out there?

Oh yeah there was the Bigfoot entry, I wanted it to be better.

But the two entries that stood out possibly the most besides The Last Amityville Movie was: Once Upon a Time in Amityville which I felt Mark Polonia and crew really did a great job of giving Amityville an origin story but no one even speaks of it. Mark deserves kudos for the mere reason of actually giving a backstory to a series of films that don’t even make a lick of sense. This is where the legendary Mark Polonia shows off his talent not in the entry (In Space) where the internet lost its mind for a week knowing it exists. The second entry would be Amityville Christmas Vacation of course. The ultra-talented Steve Rudzinski literally won a Fango award for it! What more needs to be said other than it starring amazing talents Aleen Isley and Ben Dietels. (Honestly, this was Steve just showing off. Where other filmmakers struggle with the Amityville subject, Steve knew exactly how to make it not just watchable but a holiday treat that many fans have put it into their holiday to watch pile every year now next to a ‘Black Christmas’.

And now folks we get to the stinker of the bunch. The only entry that has gotten close to me saying it is so bad it was as bad as Amityville Mt. Misery Road. That entry is Amityville: Where the Echo Lives that I dare you to watch with Mt. Misery Road and unless you are a complete loon like me you will most likely just stab yourself in the eyeballs! Amityville: Where the Echo Lives went into actual theaters for a weekend? Yep, let that sink in as there are legit bad ass horror films that no one hears about that if they are lucky Shudder finds them and then we scooped this shit. Really Hollywood, not to be critical or anything.

     What is next for me as I keep waiting for the next entry? Did I happen to mention there is an entry called Amityville Leprechaun that is on again in production (now five years and counting)? Or Amityville Barbi in production or Amityville Pool Toy Massacre coming or Amityville Aliens, honestly kids if you lasted this long reading an article about me rambling about Amityville films the answer is going to be me being me. I am going to be that guy that will watch bad movies. Always keep track of Amityville films. Support but be critical at times of Indy stuff. Or simply put I will always be Tim Gross and thank you reading.

Wanna help support?

Please come to Grossfest 2025, August 1&2 (check out www.grossfest.com for more info) where you can meet independent actors, artists, authors, and filmmakers. Plus hear me rant about the Amityville series!

Gross Movie Reviews #667

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The Slasher Nurse (Film Freeway) – Twenty years ago two girls (Piper and Grace) go to what they believe is an abandon house that looks really cool for their movie shoot. But the girls find out they are not alone as some of their friends play a prank that has Piper locked in a trunk when they are run off the property by an old man. Her brother finds her later only to be stabbed in a fit of rage by accident by Piper. Fast forward twenty years and the friends all work together exception for Piper who happens to be at the Blue Ridge Facility. Grace, friends, and work friends are all going away for the weekend but old wounds are reopened when Evan who is blamed for the prank gone wrong shows up before the weekend gets started. If that wasn’t enough the same evening Piper who hasn’t said much for years has escaped the hospital and has already created a murderous path to Grace and friends. The film is an interesting “prank goes wrong” flick with some nice gory kills that includes a death by lawnmower. Plus what will help writer/director to get film distribution are the appearances of popular horror stars: Felissa Rose, Diana Prince, and Jim Krut. Even though Kerr gives it a fun touch of bringing some freshness to the slasher genre its main flaw is the 107 minute running time that could easily be trimmed down to 88-90 minute time frame but that is for another conversation. But Kerr’s saving grace (no pun intended) is the twist he gave to his horror feature as I give the feature 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Shizzly Grark (Fawesome) – Yes folks, half bear/half shark Cryptid that a small town claims is real? Kids doing a senior film project on this thing wanna prove that it is a thing of fiction, urban legend but they disappear before the project is finished. This is the found footage, interviews and experience of seeing this mysterious creature. The movie did a smart by keeping it under an hour and keeping the pacing non-stop but the real highlight in this mess about the fictional creature is “The Mummy” being interviewed on his thoughts… downright hilarious! The movie is a complete terrible mess but should have enough charm to keep you entertained and not disappointed you watched it as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Booger (DVD) – The film is from 2023 but just hit all the streaming sites and is a complete turd! Anna loses her best friend Izzy who helped take care of this stray cat. Shortly after Izzy’s death the cat supposedly bites Anna, disappears, and Anna slowly goes through changes including her depression for her dead friend. Anna completely ignores her boyfriend, job, and life in general looking for this cat named ‘Booger’. The film is listed as a horror/comedy and I neither laughed nor seen anything horrifying other than wasting my fuckin 78 minutes watching it. A stupid young twenty something wants to act like a cat and at the end all is fine? This passes for some kind of a movie? I have seen movies that don’t even try but this so-called movie is insulting Indy filmmaking in general as this of course gets nothing except for already winning the award for being the worst film I have watched already in 2025. Sorry it’s not Meta, it’s not ironic, and it’s just fucking dumb!        

Pandemic Thirst (Blu-ray) – Chris Woods and a talented cast put together a quick 64 minute film that revolves around 2020s Covid-19 and how it affects vampires. The film opens with Covid just hitting as people scramble to get home before everything closes down for a period of time as humans are about to deal with a horrible virus worse than vampires. During the early days of this pandemic Cynthia is on the run and sick with nowhere to turn a beautiful vampire Willow happens to find her. They share a hotel room and instead of Willow feeding on Cynthia she chooses to turn her. But there is a catch as the virus may have already been in Cynthia’s blood and for some unknown reason it has actually made Willow terribly sick as vampires have survived plagues and viruses long before this. Simply put this is an interesting concept that has that “SyFy Channel Saturday Night vibe” but done ‘The Sleaze Box’ way with Sushii Xhyvette Holder just being an absolute fun bad ass as she hits it out of the park with this role. Like Mr. Woods or not I do respect what he did with this concept and gotta give this entertaining Indy vamp flick 3 out of 4 stars.

Eat and Run (YouTube) – A mid-80s oddity from New World Pictures where an alien lands on Earth that enjoys eating Italian… Eye-talian people that is! A detective McSorely (Ron Silver) who works for the NYPD and talks like he is describing his character’s actions in a book at all times sees the impossible which this huge thing eating Italians and has to convince his boss that aliens exist. With the police force believing McSorely is nuts, he’s on his own to bring in this maniac alien with an appetite. There is some terrible 80s jokes and along with the alien cuckolding Ron Silver’s character but that doesn’t stop McSorely bringing the alien to justice as the film doesn’t really have an ending as I give the bad attempt at comedy 1 ½ stars.

Behind the Walls (Blu-ray) – A family moves into an old house with the intention of course to call it theirs and fix it up along with the broken family relationship. All members feel like there is something off about the house but of course since they are white decide to stay only to find out the hard way the house has an evil presence that has decided to keep them there. Which by the way the evil presence in the home is played by bootleg toxic waste dude from Robocop. The movie come off like a family drama than horror film as from beginning to end the movie just moves at a disjointed pace. Horror fans yinz are not missing much here as I can only give it 1 star.

The Nature of the Beast (Tubi) – A mid-90s Victor Salva flick where two very different men (Jack and Adrian) keep crossing paths in small desert towns. One stole a good bit of money from a casino and the other is a cold hearted serial killer. Both use each other as cover until they reach a breaking point that doesn’t end well for one as it stars the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen and Eric Roberts. Sounds good on paper, two solid performers, but something just doesn’t feel right from the beginning as I can only give this feature 2 stars.

Heart Eyes (On Demand) – It is Valentine’s Day and in the past two years there has been a murder spree in Boston and Philadelphia that the serial killer has been named the “Heart Eyes Killer”. Now set in Seattle the Heart Eyes Killer has set his sights on this city where once again he will look for couples to kill as he did the past two years on this lovely holiday. Best way to describe this latest slasher feature is ‘Scream meets a RomCom’ made for people under the age of 24. Now while I say that this isn’t a terrible movie by any means that most likely will be the ‘My Bloody Valentine’ for the new generation of horror fans? But this might be the first film in quite a while that was literally targeting a very specific group of horror fans to start a franchise. You see the ending coming a mile away and plus you’ll understand why I said ‘Scream’ as I give this interesting let’s say ‘test subject for the young-ins’ 2 stars.  

Trail Cam Sasquatch (Fawesome) – Something strange has been going on in the woods of Central, Pa., in fall of 2024 as UFO sightings are almost reported daily but what comes along with that is Sasquatch sightings. Trail cams in the woods have been snapping a photo daily of this mysterious creature but to no avail it stays elusive from authorities. So a small hunting party plans to go into the woods for the weekend to capture the elusive creature unless Tim Hatch’s character is trapped in a bathroom taking the morning grumpy? But the only thing this small hunting party finds is a young injured woman lost in the woods that brings the wrath of not just one Sasquatch but many! Tim Hatch’s character keeps the horror light in this Polonia feature but entertaining as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Girl Who Wore Yellow Lace (Tubi) – This feature feels like Mark Polonia goes way out of his comfort zone to bring a giallo to his resume. I knew I was in for something different from the legendary Indy filmmaker when the Polonia usuals only had bit parts in this feature. A young model Arianna is convince to join a modeling agency as she wants to do whatever it takes to be the most popular model. Arianna dream to become one of the biggest models has a price as she loses grip with her old life and boyfriend. The more she tries to become the most in demand model the more of her fellow models are murdered by a mysterious black-gloved killer. Kudos to Mark Polonia for doing something totally unexpected and for the love of Rutger Hauer, Jeff Kirkendall’s character is extremely creepy in this Indy giallo as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.  

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #661

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Jurassic Exorcist (DVD) – In this Mark Polonia film a cult leader combines his evil with a dinosaur allowing it to eat everything in its devilish path after his death. Meanwhile a priest that has lost his faith in god is introduced to time travel as this allows him to go back a million years or so to exorcise this beast before it ever gets to present day! This wacked out plot taking place in a small town makes for a hilarious experience for viewers as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Grandma (Fawesome) – Twenty years ago Grandma’s Bed and Breakfast was a wonderful place to eat breakfast for the small town folk until it was revealed she been using humans for meat. People were disappearing from time to time but no one thought anything of it until that tragic day her place was investigated. Soon Grandma disappeared and part of the restaurant was torn down. Now in present day a young woman named Mallory inherits money from her dying father and she wanted to honor his memory by buying the place they both had fond memories of, “Grandma’s Bed and Breakfast”. The goal is for Mallory and a couple friends to clean the place up for business again. But clearly Grandma has returned and not too happy to share her place as she lures them one by one to their deaths. It is a crude but fun SOV shocker that captures that early 90s Indy vibe as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

George A. Romero’s Resident Evil (In Demand) – The purpose of this film is to look into why Romero’s vision of the popular video game never got made. In order to do that this film works twofold: tell the story of George A. Romero from the beginning but also the story of how Resident Evil became the horror game that changed so much in video games. This documentary dives head deep into the process of the game becoming a movie and compares the vision of Romero to Paul Anderson’s script. I quite enjoyed they brought up several times how people who are fans of the games dreaded the movie that came out (this officially ends me bitching about this series of films being an abomination on cinema) and reasons why we got what we got. The film runs a little long but I found it entertaining and very informative as it left I with only one question now… Should someone (cough, cough, Tom Savini or Greg Nicotero) go ahead and make the version of the script Romero wrote so long ago? I give this entertaining look into something I have yelled about constantly for years 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Teddiscare (Tubi) – Another hilarious project from Mark Polonia and stars Tim Hatch with some really cool opening credits for the film. A young man Duncan receives a phone call that his father is dying as he has just returned from an asylum adjusting to life outside again. His father’s dying words are “don’t return to the woods of your childhood”. Of course Duncan cannot resist investigating the woods and quickly finds his stuffed animal collection from his childhood like they had been waiting there the whole time for him. Meanwhile a partner of Duncan’s father at the Filbert Plant is overlooking how the estate is given out and wants to screw over Duncan but Duncan would like him to meet his friend Teddy? Maybe one of the more weird projects from Polonia Brothers Entertainment in the past decade with a fun performance from Tim Hatch as I give the project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Torture the Flesh (Blu-ray) – For the past year a serial killer has made a name for himself killing all over town causing the lead detective grasping for answers. Detective Frank is an over the hill cop who is a smidge away from retirement but believes he may have gotten the break he needs with a recent mother-to-be/wife and young kid being murdered by the serial killer. In comes the widow Daniel who wants answers from the frustrated detectives as he has plans to get his revenge. As the killer eludes capture the story keeps coming back to Daniel and Detective Frank until the very end. As each new murder happens they get even more grisly than the murder before in this low budget Indy feature with a nice large budget gloss as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Witch Story (DVD) – A late 80s Eye-talian flick that starts in 1932 Florida where a witch is burned to death while her kid watches. Of course the witch curses everyone there and their offspring which brings us 57 years later where a pair of siblings (brother and sister) inherits the house the witch owned. Ed and Carol see this as an opportunity for them and friends to fix the place up but immediately when they arrive the evil is awakened to kill all who have entered the home. We get a cursed house, a story that doesn’t quite make a lick of sense, one demonic blowjob, kissing cousins, a creepy priest/I am not a priest, and an ending that has you asking why the witch just wanted to hold her child in purgatory just to lure victims to the house? Point is its weird as I give the film 2 stars.

Leech (YouTube) – Here is another Indy project from David Dawson out of the state of Illinois that gave me a very pandemic vibe of making this film. Anyway we are introduce to Darklord of Loves Park who pretty much live streams everything he does: listening to music, making so-called music, eating a rat, going to the bar, asking for funds, etc. Mostly the Darklord seems to enjoy bickering with the group of people who do follow his streams until “Content Corner Mike” appears. Content Corner Mike begins uses his stream to try to get more subscribers to the Darklord because he believes the Darklord isn’t faking it and an interesting watch that’s different from most streams. But this decision leads to an unwanted feud and eventual violence in a very curious but realistic way that easily can be seen happening in real life. This no budget film can feel very rough around the edges but pay attention to the heart of this film because I think this had a great concept as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Teddy Told Me To (Tubi) – A film that is directed by Tom Devlin who is known more for his special make-up effects than directing has been dipping his toes into the genre of being a director. The plot of this flick takes place at a closed haunted attraction that a cute couple: Zoe and Danny buy up to reopen. It was originally closed because a young man wearing a bear mask lost his shit inside the attraction and killed people. Now reopening the man with the bear mask has returned to slaughter the haunters and all who enter. Not a huge fan of the ending but a lot of bodies pile up in this simple slasher that it keeps it bloody entertaining as I give it 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #657

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Yule Log 2: Branchin’ Out (Max) – So Zoe surviving the Yule Log Massacre of the first film as it is referred too wakes in a hospital and wants to do the holidays without a fireplace. Meanwhile, the Yule Log that won’t die has other plans to track down the only survivor to finish the job it started. Zoe and friend start road tripping until an accident caused by Zoe leaves them stranded in the Hallmark movie town of Mistletoe. Here Zoe learns to love again even though she carries an axe with her at all times and a firefighter named Blaze is shirtless the whole film. The Yule Log eventually finds Zoe in the most ridiculous way while leaving a blood soaked trail to her during a Yule Log Festival. I laughed my ass off several times during this sequel as this is possibly the best one, two holiday punch since the ‘Jack Frost’ films as I give it 3 ½ stars.

House of the Wizard’s Blackened Soul (YouTube) – Dakota Ray’s latest Indy project is a short film that runs 27 minutes surrounding a young troubled man Gideon. Gideon has several issues struggling through life then thrown a curveball when he becomes the caretaker for his not in the best of health grandfather and his estate. Gideon takes it on but falls into a deeper world of darkness that he cannot escape as he discovers something even worse was waiting for him. Is Gideon dreaming it all? Was he already dead? Was this the dark world Gideon wanted all along? These questions can be debated after watching and how each viewer will for sure see things differently than the last. Mr. Dakota Ray usually plays with dark things in his projects but takes it to an interesting level with this well shot almost artsy project. This wild short film will find its audience as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Black Rat (DVD) – This is a 2010 film out of Japan from the dude who directed ‘Battle Royale II’ for whatever that is worth. A young lady Asuka dances in front of a rat head on top of a school building only to commit suicide after. Sometime later a group of supposedly Asuka’s friends receive a text to meet at midnight in their classroom at school. The friends meet up only to be confronted by a mystery person in Asuka’s rat head and armed with a baseball bat. One by one their secrets are put out there through flashbacks as they die. I wanted to like this more but just felt like a subpar concept that was never as entertaining as I just described it as I give it 2 stars.

The Beast in the Cellar (DVD) – An early 70s film that tackles the story of a creature nearby a British Army Camp murdering soldiers in the countryside. Joyce and Ellie are two older women who just seem innocent and a bit curious people who live off the beaten path in the same countryside. But after authorities and soldiers have visited their home several times for their safety it comes out Joyce and Ellie have had a secret that started during the Great War as they must care, protect, and keep their younger brother from war. Not too terribly bloody but an interesting find if you enjoy British horror as I give it 2 stars.

Mad Cow Massacre (YouTube) – Pretty much first time filmmakers out of Iowa having a little fun on a tiny budget set their serial killer plot in the small town of Farmville. Here is where the latest killings have taken place by a psycho in a cow costume. A detective has been tracking the killer (Mad Cow Killer) through several towns but the killer has decided his murder spree to continue day after day now just in Farmville. This change in behavior has baffled the detective but allows him to gather reinforcements to trap the sick Mad Cow Killer but even after death he cannot be stopped. The project is very rough with many flaws but they understood the massacre concept. It has a lot of heart as it was exactly what I like finding in my micro-budgeted massacre movies as I hope for a sequel soon and as this film gets 2 out of 4 stars.

Grandma’s Cookies (YouTube) – A holiday short film of a young boy staying with Grandma who wants to stay up to see Santa on Christmas Eve. But Grandma tries to convince the boy it isn’t the best thing to be awake to see Santa as she knows the real Santa. See Grandma for years has made special cookies for Santa every year since a child for good reason as the boy staying awake finds out it isn’t all merry as I give the entertaining horror short 3 out of 4 stars.

Joe Returns A Video (YouTube) – This 2019 short film is hilarious in so many ways as it’s all about Joe who forgot to return a VHS copy of Steven Seagal’s ‘Above the Law’ in 1989 and now in 2019 decides it will not be late another day. Joe cannot think of racking up another day of late fees and heads out from his picturesque suburb home to go for a walk to the video store three decades later. Along the way Joe encounters several characters but at all times he explains he has to return Steven Seagal’s ‘Above the Law’ VHS. I was literally laughing about every thirty seconds throughout this 12 minute short as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

On this week’s podcast we talked a lot about random massacre flicks

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On this week show we come back to the fold with 3 more flicks of varying quality.  First we talk about a big summer release that was based on a video game, directed by podcast Paul W.S. Anderson, and starring his wife Milla Jovovich in 2020’s MONSTER HUNTER.  Then Tim talks about a fairly known flick outta New Zealand in STRANGE BEHAVIOR a.k.a. DEAD KIDS a.k.a. SMALL TOWN MASSACRE.  And finally John chats us up about an Eye-Talian quasi cannibal, quasi adventure flick called MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY.  We also go around about such topics as Kyle’s past birthday, casino adventures, the ins and outs of inverted nipples, more massacre flicks brought to us by Tim and hundreds of other random topics.  So download this episode or natives will beat you up in your local dive bar.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #479

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Gross Movie Reviews #479

 

Fist of the Northstar (DVD) – Gary Daniels stars in this movie adaption a very popular comic in 1995 where he is a warrior in a post-apocalyptic landscape that must restore balance to the world. He is a warrior named Kenshirô who has been forgotten and believed dead until he resurfaces years later on a new path to fight Lord Shin who has kept the world in chaos. Has some Hollywood names and Gary Daniels did fine but the film has not aged well since its cable television premiere. Does it deserve a reboot? Possible but most likely get the same response when it first was released which wasn’t much here in the states as I give it 2 stars.

 

Escape Plan 3: Extractors (On Demand) – Stallone, Batista, and 50 Cent are at it one more time as a former associate’s son seeks revenge by kidnapping Stallone’s girlfriend and taking her to a hideous Russian prison. Not ground breaking but entertaining action sequel that keeps your interest enough to finish it and whet your appetite for the new Rambo film coming as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll (DVD) – This Hammer film takes a little different take on the story as Dr. Jekyll is a scientist who is married to his work. Constantly experimenting he believes he may have found something that could revolutionize the world. In past versions of this story Jekyll turns into a horrible looking Mr. Hyde. Where in this version is the complete opposite where Jekyll turns into a handsome Mr. Hyde who spies on his wife banging Christopher Lee and flaunting it all around town while he works day and night. For Mr. Hyde it is not enough he wants to relish all the sins of the night life until it’s too late and he tries to fake his death. Not the best Hammer flick definitely worth the watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Fisted! (DVD) – It is that time of the year again where friends head to the woods to have fun. But that comes to a screaming halt as giant ants eat porn stars doing their thing and a dude named Jerklin Boy destroys his victims with his ‘Fist’! When this killer uses his fist on his victims their heads explode. The Jerklin Boy looks like a generic Leatherface which only adds to the hilarious kill scenes in this Tom Martino feature. If that wasn’t enough Joe Garcia makes sure you will never look at a potato the same again. I laughed my ass at least a dozen times watching this as Mr. Martino has his own unique style of storytelling and makes his own movie rules up. “Fisted!” is entertaining as hell but not for the humans that have no humor in their lives as I give this feature 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.DWNProductions.net .

 

Eyes of Fire (DVD) – In 1750 a couple kids wandering the woods along the river bank are picked up and tell a French soldier a tale of why they left a haunted forest. Story begins with a priest who has stolen another man’s wife and has convinced a few villagers to steal a ferry, food, and begin a new adventure. An adventure of them floating down the river and finding land they can call their own and live the way they want to live. They want to find what they consider the promise land. After having a run-in with some Indians they go deeper into the woods where the natives believe the woods are haunted by evil spirits. The group finds a burned, wrecked cabin that they decide to settle and rebuild. But weird things almost immediately begin to happen to the group and the priest relies a lot on a young woman known as Leah who is a witch. Odd film for 1983 but just interesting enough I was glad to track this one down and check it out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Toy Box (DVD) – I always enjoy a completely off the wall idea that involves horror movies. The weirder or combining characters the better until I came across and watched this film that stars Denise Richards, Mischa Barton, and a bootleg Michael Caine. Bootleg Michael Caine wants to take a trip in a used RV with his family after his wife’s death. What bootleg Michael Caine doesn’t know is it is haunted by the spirit of a serial killer. The serial killer many years ago used the RV as his traveling killing zone. This movie was super lame and poorly executed. Thus proving maybe not all completely crazy horror movie ideas should be made as I give it a ½ star.

 

Boarding School (DVD) – A surprisingly different horror film that does a slow and interesting burn about a boy about to be a teenager whose grandmother has died. Quickly the boy Jacob becomes obsessed with his grandmother he never knew. This leads to the parents finding him in his grandmother’s dress and BOOM! Off to boarding school. But not just any boarding school? A very elite boarding school where a teacher played by Will Patton takes his job serious and has a strict way of kids being schooled. What seems like a horror film that is going to play with the gender bending rules goes into a very mysterious direction as the class is filled out with kids that maybe different and have a handicap. This slowly blossoms into a wonderful horror film as kids begin to show dead almost on a nightly basis. This film has some cool sick shit going down and I like it as kids die and the film keeps you guessing of what will the characters do next as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Django the Bastard (Blu-ray) – I have always enjoyed the Clint Eastwood westerns and only recently have scratched the surface of all the other spaghetti westerns from the past. This was a first time watch and a wonderful one at that as I did see the similarities in this 1969 film that Eastwood did later. The film is also known as “The Strangers Gundown” is about a mysterious man named Django who was believed to be dead many years before. He walks right in town, places a cross in the dirt with the man’s name and date of death. This is just bad ass! Through flashbacks of the Civil War we come to learn Django and his fellow troops were abandoned by their leaders and he has been searching for the three for years. Anthony Steffen has the stare down as he just shows up in town and takes on a whole gang of gunslingers wanting the last man he is looking for. This western actually separates itself from many of this time as it almost has horror movie kinda feel with how it is shot. This maybe my first watch but it will be watch many times more in the future as I absolutely enjoyed the colors and the horror overtone of revenge by Django. The Blu-ray looks beautiful and the commentary by the historian is very interesting if you are a fan of the spaghetti westerns as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Of course you can find this at www.synapse-films.com .

 

Critters Attack! (DVD) – Another poor attempt of getting this franchise off the ground again but at least nowhere annoying as “Critters: A New Binge”. A young lady Drea who is stuck living with her uncle and having trouble getting into the college her mother went too takes on a babysitting job that may help. Soon Drea and her brother get caught up with a Critter princess who has come to Earth to kill the male Crites. It becomes a retelling of “Adventures in Babysitting” only with Crites and Dee Wallace. Their heart is in the right place but the lack of understanding what made the first four films such a fun hit with movie fans is lacking. Can a good reboot be done, maybe, but the damage has been with these two latest efforts… What happens after this remains to be seen but I doubt we will see anything other than a minor budgeted unsuccessful sequel that has nothing to do with anything as I give this poor effort 1 star.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Your ears will either enjoy or hate us with our three latest podcast episodes available for download!

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This week we return with 3 more flicks.  First we chat about A new independent Bigfoot flick picked by Tim called WILLOW CREEK.  Then Kyle learns why he should never have laughed at Eric Roberts in STAR 80. And finally we have a history lesson on racial inequality from John in his flick KING OF THE ZOMBIES.  Also we retire football chat, Tim’s injuries and his body slowly decaying in his old age, drunk stripper stories and a ton more.  So listen to this show or Eric Roberts will tie you to his rape chair.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Do you like 1982? We like 1982… So let’s talk about the flicks of 1982!

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This week we hail Satan,  get into our monkey suits, and fight prehistoric monsters with some rednecks as we talk about 3 more fine genre flicks.  First burn down all the churches and worship the devil in LORDS OF CHAOS.  Then water ski to an island of zombies in TEENAGE ZOMBIES.  And finally stop motion dinosaurs are the best dinosaurs in THE CRATER LAKE MONSTER.  Also we chat about all the flicks we have been watching and anything else that seems to rattle off in our minds.  So download this episode and don’t forget to cut vertically and not horizontally.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #457

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Gross Movie Reviews #457

 

The Snow Creature (DVD) – An unusual Yeti film about a botanist Dr. Frank Parrish who heads to the Himalaya Mountains to study plants with another scientist. When their guide’s wife gets kidnapped by the legendary creature Dr. Parrish becomes trapped in the mountains because his guide and others go searching for the Yeti. Along the way Parrish is able to help capture the creature and convince authorities to send it to L.A. for the find of the century. But the creature escapes into the night and goes on murder spree. It is unusual in the fact that there is more to this movie than just finding the Yeti and it’s not all spent in the mountains. Well worth the watch for Bigfoot film enthusiasts as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Venom (On Demand) – Well thank you for being a pleasant surprise instead of the pile of garbage a lot of people were claiming? Instead of using the original source material of ‘Black costume Spider-man’ this story seems to lean more to the ‘Venom: Lethal Protector’ series superhero aspect. I am sure there will be some comic book geeks out there to correct me but that is how I seen this film. I believe two things made this film very entertaining: first, no connection to the Spider-man series… yet and second, Tom Hardy was enjoyable as Eddie Brock. Eddie is a journalist first and when he is sent in to interview Carlton Drake and asks the wrong questions Brock uses his job, girlfriend, and apartment. Six months later a scientist from inside visits Eddie to explain Eddie was right about Drake and his experiments and space exploration. So Eddie breaks in to get more evidence but instead finds a symbiote that changes everything. Drake worried it will be loose in the world and Eddie will blow the lid off of everything tries to kill him any chance available. But as time goes on and the two bond they both understand they can only help each other if they are going to escape Drake and save the Earth from certain doom. I give this entertaining flick 3 stars.

 

The House with a Clock in its Walls (On Demand) – Another unexpected fun film that has Eli Roth directing and Jack Black starring about an orphan named Lewis who is sent to live with his crazy uncle. Uncle Jonathan just happens to be a warlock with help from a neighbor is looking for a secret clock in the walls by his good friend Isaac. Isaac went to war and came back with the help of black magic and conjured something very evil. Now the uncle and the neighbor must find the clock as it is counting down to something. Lewis slowly is learning to be a boy witch/warlock but accidentally brings back good old Isaac from the dead who wants to restart everything? I give this magic filled flick 3 stars.

 

King Cohen: The Wild World of Filmmaker Larry Cohen (DVD) – A wild documentary that takes a long look into the career of a filmmaker that spawned many careers and has made many fun inspiring films. We all know about Roger Corman and his impact but Cohen may have been the second generation of being a maverick in filmmaking as he put his own twist on things. Cohen as a writer, producer, and director has had an impact of filmmaking whether people admit it or not. A great watch as many of Cohen’s peers tells some hilarious stories including Fred Williamson which pay attention what is being said between the two as I give this documentary 4 stars.

 

Dead Trigger (DVD) – A mysterious viral outbreak turns hundreds of millions of people into zombies so the government produces a game called “Dead Trigger”. The government and Dolph Lundgren use this to find young people to join the armed forces in 2025 to go in to Terminal City where it all started. There is a possible cure there but the government has lost track of the first team they sent in. So these kids with Lundgren’s help head in to save the day. I really liked the concept of the movie but it failed horribly as it tries too hard to reinvent the zombie film instead of adding to it. I give it 2 stars.

 

Snake Outta Compton (DVD) – Holy crap this is crap! A young rap group is trying to gear up their possible record deal tomorrow until their nerdy roommate brings inside a snake that fell from the sky. The nerdy roommate experiments with the snake and mutates it and the snake reacts to rap music. Once it escapes it is up to the budding rap artists to track it down and kill it. If “Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper” didn’t make you hate me then watch this film and you will as I give it 1 star for its horrible jokes that kept me entertained enough to get through this SyFy Channel reject.

 

Cucuy: The Boogeyman (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A Mexican urban legend is conjured up to kidnap young people in a small town. It is a dirty creature that comes out at night looking for bad children that is a story to little kids to scare the shit out of them. He apparently snatches the kids and takes them to his cave to be eaten later. When some kids go missing recently the common thread is they were bullies until a curious girl and her sister get mixed up with the urban legend. They find out a missing girl’s parents conjured up the creature to help them get revenge. The kids must get in the creature’s sack in order to enter his realm and stop it. Some blood, cool creature, enjoyed the urban legend part as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Demon Lover Diary (YouTube) – Did you know the 70s film “Demon Lover” had a documentary? Nope! Neither did I people as it was released for a short time on VHS supposedly but was one of these things that were a myth. I have heard a few stories of this existing showing how not to make a film but basically shows Donald G. Jackson of “Rollerblade” and “Hell Comes to Frogtown” fame having troubles on his first low budget production. A couple of filmmakers drive from the east coast out to Michigan to help Donald Jackson on his project “Demon Lover”. You be the judge was the project doomed from the start? Or did the three people that headed out to Michigan to make this documentary help the chaos along? However you see this documentary it is an interesting peak inside of low budget filmmaking that could be used as a learning tool for new and old filmmakers out there as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ocular (DVD) – An absolute bizarre short film from David Brudie that has an unknown individual eat a bloody poo sandwich, pop zits, eat bloody snot, then has a weird groping session with itself. I know the film is supposed to mean something but in my opinion comes off as let’s see how many random scenes of gross can I put in the short film and call it art? What’s not so weird is I believe there is an audience for it as I give it 2 stars for trying to be disgusting.

 

The Demons of Ludlow (VHS/YouTube) – A small town named after its founder 200 years ago ‘Ludlow’ is celebrating its 200th birthday. For the celebration an odd piano from Ludlow’s family collection has been returned to the town and strange things begin to happen. Apparently Ludlow wrote a list and cursed the town. A reporter Debra Hall comes through town is there to do a story on the celebration knows a little about the odd history of the town as her grandfather use to tell her stories. She investigates and cannot find any history on the town but the folks who have lived there all their lives believe it is the Ludlow demons? This haunted piano film is pretty dull at times but would be a wonderful pick for the new MST3K as I give it 2 stars.

 

Dead in the Water (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A boat full of activists trying to track down and stop a boat that was doing illegal ocean fishing breaks down. While they try to get engine working again and get moving before the major storm rolls in they believe they see something floating out on the ocean. The activists pull in a dead body that awakes and almost kills two of them. During an autopsy they believe he may have a contagion but something was living inside of him. Now that it is loose it attacks them one by one feeding on anything warm blooded. If you enjoy “The Thing” rip-offs this was bearable as I give it 2 stars.

 

Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women (DVD) – A B-flick from the late 70s about a nun and some orphans who escape from a war torn China on a plane. The plane goes down and the orphans are left to fend for themselves on an uncharted island. Twenty-five years later a small plane full of men sets down because they are lost and low on fuel. They quickly find out the island is populated by women. Wanting to keep the peace they try to speak with the women and possibly find help or fuel? They come to an agreement to help the women with the invading men from another nearby island. Not a whole lot goes on in the movie except for a few Miss Universe contestants wondering around in bikinis. I give it 1 star.

 

It Came from the Desert (DVD) – A low budget horror movie based on a video game I never heard of but didn’t stop me from trying to enjoy the mutant movie. Two brothers partying out in the desert find an abandoned military contractor building in the desert of New Mexico. They go exploring and find out there is giant ants infesting the building and now they are about to make their way above ground. The brothers after catching up with a scientist gain the knowledge that the military has been experimenting with alien DNA and ants since 1951. Now must stop them before it becomes a global catastrophe! One of those films you are surprised wasn’t made by Asylum Entertainment and showed up on SyFy Channel as I give it 2 stars.

Supergrid (On Demand) – The latest project from “Wolfcop” filmmaker himself Lowell Dean where the film is set in the not-to-distant future where ‘black lung’ has infected most of the population. The Campbell brothers are employed to ride into the ‘grid’ aka what is left of America to retrieve a mysterious package and bring it back to Canada. They must fight their way through cannibals and road gangs with no protection in order to complete their mission. Problem is once they have the package they learn what it is and do not want to hand it over once they make it back. Lots of good action scenes keep the low budget post-apocalyptic film going. For me it isn’t “Wolfcop” but it was cool seeing some of the cast and Lowell Dean doing something different as I give it 3 stars.

 

Alien Beach Party Massacre (VHS) – This ultra-low budget flick has aliens stealing a weapon called the ‘death-sphere’ which by the way looks like a volleyball. When some ugly aliens come to claim it back they send the death-sphere to Earth to hide it and crash land there. Now Lord Odem is pissed and must go to Earth to retrieve it and vaporize anyone that gets in his way. The most hilarious part of the film is half of it takes place in a supposedly haunted mansion where the beach bums all go to party with the death-sphere. The movie has its dull moments but kudos for it being a one of a kind horror/comedy as I give it 2 stars.

Hellfest (On Demand) – A slasher flick where the unknown killer uses a Halloween themed amusement park as his back drop to stalk and kill people. Six college kids head inside for booze and scares and instead deal with a person that wants them dead. The plot is simple but interesting as I like the little things about the film as it is set in reality more than your usual “out at the cabin by the lake”. In a nutshell that is the movie. “Hellfest” has a good amount of gore and the killer doesn’t seem to have a real motive other than what you see at the end of the film. The horror film is by no means one of the best of 2018 but I did enjoy it for trying to be a little different and thank you for Tony Todd! I give this well worth a watch horror film 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #421

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Gross Movie Reviews #421

 

Amityville: The Awakening (On Demand) – Jennifer Jason Leigh (Joan) has just moved her family to the legendary house that is famous for the murders that took place 40 years ago. Her kids do not know this at all but soon learn about it through school. Belle the oldest daughter begins to sense strange things in the home and begins to do more research. Joan on the other hand hopes that something happens so her comatose son comes back to life as this was her real reason for moving the family to this legendary house. Soon the twin brother has come back to the land of the living but lets his twin sister know that he is not alone and wants to die. This movie is not horrible and you get real weird vibe from watching it as it incorporates the real life murders and acknowledges that there have been movies made about the house. The original actually possesses Belle to start digging in the basement for “the red room”? The film is an interesting take for the series as there are numerous crappy sequels and a remake. Seriously this movie is worth taking a look at as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Thor: Ragnarok (Theater) – The third film in the Marvel series of the title character has him fighting for Asgard’s existence as his sister has come back home and father has died. In Odin’s death he has brought Loki and Thor closer together… maybe. But once the sister arrives and has disposed of the brothers she plans on conquering more realms. The planet Thor and Loki fall upon just happen to have The Hulk and a legendary warrior The Valkyrie. Once together they plan to go back to Asgard and save the people before they are destroyed. The film is of course a giant fun bag of popcorn and we all know it is a placeholder for the upcoming Avengers films. But what made the film good are two things: a) has this 80s retro feel and b) you don’t have to see the first two “Thor” films to know what exactly is going on. I give it 3 stars.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Death-Scort Service 2: The Naked Dead (DVD/Vimeo) – An escort named Michelle survived torture from a crazed killer a year ago and is trying to move on by being the best escort she can be. But the nightmare is not over as a new crazed killer kidnaps her and ends Michelle’s life with an electric saw to the vagina! Yes folks a saw to the babymaker, if you are going to watch a Sean Donohue flick you better come prepared especially in this film’s case… Independent sleaze, gore, and goo is Donohue’s calling card and there tons of it. A group of young escorts don’t care for the warnings or stories as they know if they don’t get naked they ain’t gonna make the money. But this new mysterious killer stays one step ahead of the new crop of working girls by killing them off in a more brutal way than the last. If you like your horror films sleazing, full of buck nakedness, and lots gooey gore this will be the feature for you gorehounds as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. If curious of where to find this fine flick go on over to: www.thesleazebox.com or www.gatorbladefilms.com .

 

The Babyface Killer (YouTube) – A story of a man’s anger taking over after his woman loses their child before birth. They have been trying and finally it happens but bad luck comes along. The man slowly lets his anger build and gets upset over the littlest things until one day he sees a lovely pregnant woman out by the road. Then that is when he crosses the line, loses his mind, and goes dark… Great stuff again from Forte Films as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars and you can find out more at www.fortefilmsentertainment.com .

 

Rage and Honor II: Hostile Takeover (DVD) – The 1993 film brings action star and legend Cynthia Rothrock back together again with Richard Norton. This time out Cynthia’s character is undercover as a banker trying to stop a crooked banker but it becomes much more when he is linked to a drug lord. If you are a Rothrock fan this flick will disappoint as it seems like they just wanted the name and not the person as most of the action in the movie centers around Norton’s character. Pretty much got wait through the whole lame ass movie for Rothrock to fight someone as I give the boring movie 1 star.

 

Better Watch Out (On Demand) – Ashley is a young woman about to move away and is going to babysit Luke one more time before she goes. Luke is a much younger teenager who has googly eyes for the beautiful Ashley. When Luke goes to finally make his move on the babysitter somebody has other ideas? A brick gets thrown through the window, a person peeking through the window, someone trying to scare the two. But it just so happens to be Luke’s best friend trying to help the ultimate plan of Luke’s of getting the girl. Nope Ashley is pissed at both Luke and Garrett. Luke snaps and ties up Ashley and wants to play a game of “Truth or Dare” and the things get even further out of hand when the ex-boyfriend shows up. Luke has the mentality “if he cannot have Ashley, no one can” and has the plan in place to pull it off… maybe? A very different and entertaining holiday flick that isn’t so much horror as a thriller but well worth watching over a plate of Christmas cookies. And for that I give it 3 stars.

 

Arsenal (DVD) – An older brother always watched out for his little brother since they were young. Now it’s time for the little brother to take care of his older brother. As the older brother has been kidnapped by a low grade town mobster who had a plan to get money out of the younger brother. Nic Cage who plays the disgusting idoit with the plan wasn’t expecting the older down on his luck brother to say no. The younger brother has four days to come up with $350,000 and is getting help from an officer of the law played by John Cusack. When it comes down to it the film is an above average direct-to-video action flick as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (DVD) – An animated feature that helps feature the famous game characters in a struggle for world peace and stop a lost princess from being killed before marriage. To be honest haven’t played any of the Final Fantasy games probably since they started on Nintendo?! But the concept and the films always fascinated me and never a bad idea to check this animated features out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Assassin’s Creed (DVD) – Another video game adaption to movies that does not live up to most fans’ expectations. There is a program for certain prison inmates who are sent to death. If their DNA is linked to some kind of ancestry of this clan of warriors this certain government project wants you to find this “egg”. This “egg” has a certain power if in the right hands that can rule the world. The inmate put to death but wakes up hours later in a secured facility where the public believes they are dead. Then some scientists mess with the brain trying to bring out the ancestor they are looking for? It’s weird but also too I was never a fan of the game so who knows as I give this time filler 1 ½ stars.

Killer Campout (DVD) – Its 1966 and this ugly dude is torturing a couple out in a remote area. After killing the man he gets all rapey with the woman and of course nine months later another ugly thing is born. The film moves along to 1989 where people have been disappearing out in the woods but could never be explained. Authorities are baffled but not concerned as much as some others are with the problem. So some horny ass lady thinks it would be cool to do group therapy out in the woods unknowingly ringing the dinner bell for the old ugly dude still stalking out in the woods! Has that “Madman, Don’t Go in the Woods, and The Forest” kind of feel to it. Lots of fun gruesome deaths and a small twist make this throwback slasher fantastically entertaining as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Mark of the Scorpion (DVD) – Andy J. Forrest is Bootleg Indiana Jones in 1936 treasure hunting. But Bootleg Indiana cannot even get started before he is thrown in jail because some reknob wants the known treasure hunter working for him out in the Sahara desert. The reknob French dude believes he needs Bootleg Indy for the possible Cleopatra crap he may have found? The film is no “Treasures of the Four Crowns” but the plot of Bootleg Indy spending most of the movie in prison is actually really fascinating. I give this foreign mid-80s flick 2 stars.

 

Missionary Man (DVD) – A bible carrying stranger rolls into town to mourn a friend who was murdered. Oh, it’s Dolph Lundgren and he wants justice and Tekla. A man named Reno runs the small Native American town and seems to be the root of the problem with the possible murder and controlling the local authorities. Dolph of course kicks ass in this updated “Pale Rider” action flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Peacekeeper (DVD) – Dolph Lundgren is Major Cross and now has become the keeper of the nuclear codes. After a terrorist attack on Cross, stealing the briefcase, and Cross presumed dead, the terrorists run to a missile solo that is being shut down. Wait a minute, Cross doesn’t die that easy as he will drive a car across building roofs and become one of the terrorists in order to get the codes back. A wonderfully entertaining mid-90s action film worth tracking down as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Cost of the Living (YouTube) – William Long has made a no budget flick about an apocalyptic love story. A man and a woman head off into the woods after the “Sickness” was destroying humanity. As long as they have each other the couple is happy and live forever. But with no budget movies sometimes editing is your best friend. If the movie is maybe made into short film format around 12 or 15 minutes it most likely works better. The 53 minute running time with not a whole lot happening gives it that dull feeling that makes you want to check out from watching the film. Mr. Long remember sir editing the film down is your what’s best as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

 

Trespassers (DVD) – This fantastic short film is from Zane Hershberger (for the love of Rutger Hauer you know I am fucking that name up) and is a segment of a horror anthology called “10/31”. A couple is out at the local movie theater trying to enjoy a good scary movie but have picked a dud. So still looking for something to put a little fear in their lives on the best night of the year, Halloween they go for a drive out to a farm. This farm isn’t any farm it has a horrible history of a scarecrow popping mysteriously on the land and eventually Old Man Martin murdered his family and committed suicide. But what is about this creepy scarecrow that makes the local story so interesting this couple wants to know? Pretty creepy and well thought out Halloween short film reminds me of a cool little known horror flick from the late-80s called “Scarecrows” and for that I give 4 out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Independent horror fans it is coming… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details!