Gross Movie Reviews #688

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Deathstalker (YouTube/remake) – This B-movie fantasy character was a lot of fun a few decades before and someone has decided it was time to bring this popular movie series back to life. An evil horde called the dreadites are sweeping the land looking for an amulet that Deathstalker just happens to stumble upon and steal, sort of from a dying man. The amulet refuses to leave the barbarian’s presence as he is cursed with it. Deathstalker just like the Abraxian Empire want rid of it but for different reasons as if the amulet unlocks the secret weapon as it means the kingdom can be saved and the dreadites and kill them off! It is hard to recapture the cult like status of these films from the 80s but this is a worthy entry. The problem will be “the sequels”? Do you go sex and even lower budget or do you go more “Conan the Destroyer” route? This will really determine this film’s fate over the next five to ten years so don’t sleep on this as it wasn’t perfect but it was entertaining if you were a fan of the fantasy films that came out in the early to mid-80s as I give this 2 ½ stars.

The Job (YouTube) – A short film project that deals with a man going to a job interview who unsuspectingly is greeted by A.I. All the gentleman wanted was a job but finds himself being tested by the past that haunts him in his mind. An interesting take in many ways of how the world is changing quickly around us as I give the project 3 out of 4 stars.

Horrorbuku (Kings of Horror) – An established writer has begun work on a story that has him questioning his own reality after he notices his writing project is blurring into his life after obtaining a mask from a trip he took. The author hears it speaking to him as he becomes fascinated with writing what the mask tells him but the author is uncertain if the mask is there to haunt him, guide him in his latest writing project, or drive him insane? When the mask has the author firmly in its grasp the author ultimately becomes convinced he is a vessel for the grand ideas of the mask. Whether the author believes everything that is spoken to him by the mask or just going insane telling his therapist there is one thing he understands completely is he must finish the book to escape. Being a writer myself (somewhat, go ahead and laugh) I enjoyed it touches on how you the writer can lose yourself into a story even when not working on it. This is far from the usual horror stuff I watch as this movie is for the slow burn crowd as it takes you down a wormhole of entertaining madness as I give the project 3 out of 4 stars.

Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (DVD) – Of course with that title it is a Christopher Lee Hammer Studio film where Dracula was frozen in a mountain side after terrorizing a small nearby village near his castle. A year passes as a holy man comes to investigate all these stories only to find the church of the village left to fall in disrepair. He learns the priest is a drunk and the villagers refuse to enter the once holy place because it still sits in the shadow of Dracula’s castle. The superior holy man wants to put an end to all of this by traveling to Dracula’s castle and performing a church ritual to rid everything evil that has haunted the village. But the drunken priest accidentally awakens Dracula from his deep frozen sleep during his trip back down the mountain only to become a disciple of Dracula as he wants simple revenge on the superior holy man! It’s not the best of the Hammer/Lee vampire flicks but still entertaining and iconic with some of the images as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Kill Canibal Retards (DVD-R) – This gets about as odd as you can get as this 38 minute project comes from the same guy that made ‘Alien Beasts’ decided to film this oddity in 2003 but not to be released until 2018. The film takes place on Halloween where the water supply is contaminated and people die when entering an apartment or as I like to call this: dude set up a camera on a tripod to film himself screaming most of the movie. To be totally honest this was so much weirder than the previous movie I mentioned from him I have no clue what exactly I watched as I give this 0 stars.

The Toxic Avenger Unrated (Amazon/remake) – Just like a lot of Toxie fans I was very unsure how to feel about this getting remade and when it did why do I really want to watch something that sat on a shelf for two years after being finished? Anyway this big budget remake takes place in St. Roma Village which if they did anything right there is a ton of nods to the original Toxie throughout the film. The BTH factory has polluted everything good about the town over the years and now mutations and deaths are starting to fill the rumor mill about the factory. A stepdad named Winston who is a janitor at the BTH factory finds himself in a bad situation when he is told by his doctor he might have six months to a year to live and by the way his company health insurance won’t cover the expensive drugs that might help him. To seek revenge Winston gains entry into the company to steal the company’s money only to meet a bad end of being shot and thrown into a containment unit full of toxic waste that changes him. This mutation into the Toxic Avenger leaves him disfigured but cured of his disease and has powers to help clean up his old town and its takeover by the misfits, big corporate BTH. The remake isn’t terrible by any means it just doesn’t fit what I believe we all enjoyed during the 80s and 90s when mainstream wanted nothing to do with ‘The Toxic Avenger’. It has the nods, the costume was cool, the gore was there but what it is missing for me is being genuine like the original was. The original didn’t fit the norm at the time it was released and still doesn’t fit into today’s norms either. So again not a bad film just something that never screamed to be remade as I only can give it 2 stars.

Blood and Black Lace (DVD) – The Mario Bava film that started a movement in ‘giallo’ films being made as an unknown masked man wearing black gloves kills a fashion model Isabella. The motive is the killer is looking for this diary she had that could allow her to blackmail many throughout the city as the unknown figure begins their murderous rampage through young models looking for it. As authorities investigate, many are suspects as they have secrets they want left unknown. I have never been a large ‘giallo’ fan but do enjoy from time to time checking out the earlier ones that horror fans revere so much as this was a fun watch as I give it 3 stars.

Psycho Night (YouTube) – An independent film that combines elements of: The Running Man, Surviving the Game, Slasher$, Wedlock, and Series 7 with the music industry. A live stream contest held by rich studio heads with too much money but have Greed on their minds as they interact on a show where contestants try to survive and win a hip hop contract.  2 Gravez is a man who just got out of prison and wants to get back to work on music as friends sign him up for this contest. After he is put to sleep 2 Gravez wakes to find himself and five other contestants will have to fight nasty goons, drop some musical knowledge, and sing off the cuff in order to move on through the contest to a hip hop contest. The film has its flaws but its use of the locations around them and tapping into how people consume entertainment as what people are being force fed in all forms of entertainment makes this a relevant and important project for movie watchers to check out. Would have loved a shorter running time for the project but I was overjoyed and I respect seeing a film that should not just be seen as entertainment but a warning of where society is actually heading. To add to that… how we are closer to this future than most believe as I give this impressive independent project 3 out of 4 stars.

Bum (YouTube) – A SOV found footage project of a small film crew and local reporter Valerie Charles reporting on the growing homeless problem and how it has tied into the recent kidnapping of a crazy land developer’s baby. As Valerie and Mr. Brooks prove to be complete douche bags about homeless and literally just want to use them to move up the corporate ladder decide to walk through the woods to an encampment of homeless. What they find is beyond whatever they can hope for but what happens is also completely monstrous! A true throwback of the found footage genre in my opinion that actually pays off unlike ‘The Blair Witch Project’ and most of the copycats since. The jump cuts and shaky cam can get annoying but I thought it was cool of where the filmmaker led us as the subplot of the land developer is brilliant and makes for a terrific ending as I give the 39 minute film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Sisu: Road to Revenge (Theater) – If you enjoyed the first film you might enjoy this one also as they turn the Finnish war vet into a Mad Max character. Its 1946 and our non-verbal hero returns to the Soviet border to tear down his home, load it on a truck, and take it back to Finland. The Soviets are not too keen on letting this go unpunished so they let loose their secret weapon that killed the hero’s family in the first place to clean up the mess. From there it just turns into a Mad Max film with lots of blood and the Finnish warrior refusing to be stopped even if Richard Brake and Stephen Lang are on the Soviets side. I love the first one as it felt pure; this sequel is good but feels more like a cashing in more than being a pure bad ass war flick like the first as I only can give it 3 stars this time around.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #687

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Other Men’s Careers (DVD) – Another documentary from huge ‘Evil Dead’ fan Ryan Meade who did an absolutely perfect job with ‘Invaluable’ highlighting Tom Sullivan. As with this project he highlights Josh Becker one of the people that was also on set with Sam, Bruce, and Robert from the beginning. Josh Becker has had a very interesting career to say it best as Josh even admits “he is his own worst enemy”, good or bad. All the usual from ‘Evil Dead’ are interviewed speaking about Becker’s humble beginnings to moving to L.A. back to Michigan because he had scurvy! They cover how he hung out with Sam, Ted, Bruce, etc., discuss his writing on Xena, and his own small budget projects. But this isn’t your usual documentary that makes everything all happy, happy, joy, joy, as even Josh talks about his dark times. Josh has definitely done things his own way and other than the color being a little off at times Ryan Meade did a wonderful job of capturing Josh’s career and bringing it to light that some fans may have not known about. I have always enjoyed interacting with Mr. Becker over the years at a couple conventions and glad to see him featured in a project like this as I got give it 4 stars all the way.  

Primitive War (On Demand) – For whatever reasons this wasn’t in theaters, let alone there wasn’t much ad time dedicated to this being released? For the love of Rutger Hauer: dinosaurs, Vietnam War, Jeremy Piven… how do you miss on this? Set in Vietnam 1968 where a Green Beret unit mysteriously disappears in a valley that isn’t occupied by the war taking place. A special recon team is tasked with going into the valley to find out what happened and get out. Do not engage, just report, and get a helio out.  The team is all about it as they get off at doing their job but quickly know there is a lot more not being told when they arrive in the valley to find dinosaurs and a Russian experiment gone wrong that could end the world. Recon unit’s new mission becomes not only survival but stop a lunatic from continuing the experiment to see if he can end the world? Oh people this is a big old cheeseball movie with not the best of effects and a long running time but I still enjoyed finding this kind of random project being made as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Cocaine Stepdad (DVD) – The filmmaker alone should win an award for one of the best movie titles ever! Kyle is a young man (not really 12 years old but you will understand) whose mother is about to marry a super sketchy pastor. Terry, Kyle’s last stepdad is in prison and just got Kyle to come on some random lockup reality TV show. Of course Terry is just using Kyle for a prison break and it works! Now on the run Terry and Kyle begin to bond as the two do some outrageous things and eventually break down a plan to stop the marriage between Kyle’s mom and the weird gun totting generic bucket of mayo making pastor. Filmed like a reality TV show or think ‘Natural Born Killers’ with less blood but you laughing out loud a lot more at what the two do along the way in order to stop the marriage. This independent film is absolutely hilarious, sketchy as hell, and has a supreme ending that you need to witness to understand it all as I give this truly different project 3 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Apt. (Amazon) – So entry #75 into this legendary series of films as a solid cast throughout a series of stories/anthology that features evil, the devil, monsters, killer clowns, and ghosts that haunt residents of an apartment complex. The premise is the original Amityville home has burned down a few years back and someone came in to build an apartment complex. To my surprise all segments are shot well, well casted, interesting, and they all do not linger as they blend together wonderfully telling the story of this evil complex. Legit straight up a great entry into the series that I hope doesn’t get overlooked by burned out independent film fans as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Kim’s Video (Tubi) – An odd but super interesting documentary about a famous video store in New York City before they cleaned the city up and everything went streaming but that is only the beginning as this isn’t your ordinary documentary. The documentarian, David, who is a movie fan like a lot of us lived in New York City in the mid-90s and was a member of this legendary video store. This store had bands play inside, bootlegs of movies from all over the world, and videos of movies that were never available. The store was one of a couple that the owner Kim also owned a few dry cleaners in New York where his love of movies and his video stores became even more profitable than people could even imagines. Hell his stores would be raided by the FBI in 2003 and a week later Kim would have the shelves full again. In the early 2000s Kim seen what was coming down the pike and instead of selling off his collection that was estimated at 50000 movies he wanted to donate it to something or someone that would take care of it? This is where the story gets weird… In 2009 the collection is donated to a small city in Italy. There was a dedication, people forgot, something about mafia ties, and then this documentarian arrives in Italy to break into this storage building to find moldy tapes! The man David then comes up with a plan to steal the collection back and bring it back to the U.S. This story is wild but I love it because it is something I believe in along with the passion as I give this must see documentary about physical media 4 stars.

The Valley of Gwangi (DVD) – A late 60s B-movie that has a showman Tuck Kirby who has gotten out of the old west/carnival show stuff to sell acts to other shows trying to survive. It just so happen Tuck’s hottie ex-girl has an act no one has ever seen: a little horse that has been extinct for 50 million years but live and doing tricks while on top of a full size horse. Gypsys of course the keepers of this unknown valley where the animal was taken from have retrieved the animal. Tuck, a professor, members of a Wild West show track the gypsys down only to find themselves fighting dinosaurs. They capture one so of course it will be a great idea to take it on the road as an act? Great B-movie stuff with dinosaurs fighting each other throughout along with eating people as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Like Tears in Rain (Amazon) – A documentary about one of my favorite actors of all time… Rutger Hauer. This project gets really in-depth of Rutger before he hit Hollywood as his wife found some old films Rutger did in the early 70s and so on. The film recounts how Rutger broke into Hollywood but he wanted it to do it his way while being himself as one celebrity puts it “Rutger just didn’t fit in as that made him stand out” at a time where that was difficult. All the things Rutger did in his early life with his wife and best friend was just amazing as he basically enjoyed hanging out with friends’ kids, to being beyond respected by actors and directors as this might make you cry at what he accomplished in life. I have always admired Rutger Hauer and if you watch this and not feel a tear come on or have a new respect for this man you do not have a soul! I loved this documentary about a man that was such a mystery too many but absolutely able to put his stamp on cinema big and small from ‘Blade Runner’ to ‘Hobo with a Shotgun’. I give this project 4 stars and so happy this dude existed!

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #686

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I:Scream – A Minty Musical (Blu-ray) – This independent feature might be the surprise of 2025 that movie fans have been looking for. In Aleen Isley’s directorial debut, Charlie a young scientist must fight off their own creation. Trying to woo the love of the young scientist’s life with chocolate chip mint ice cream it is unforeseen that a janitor later would accidentally cause a spill of Charlie’s animation formula into the ice cream that was left causing a major issue? The experimental formula brings the delicious green ice cream to life to immediately eat the janitor’s arm then cause chaos nearby as it grows to eat people in its path! Charlie with friends entrust a former ice cream man, “Old Man Reggie” to steer them to a solution in defeating this mutant ice cream problem. Along the way Miss Isley’s characters break out into song about the killer ice cream making this a lighthearted horror must see. Aleen Isley used all of her behind the scenes experience of several other projects to prove it is worth taking a chance to make something memorable and entertaining for your debut. She deserves to be congratulated in what she has accomplished even with a scene stealing David Dietz as “Old Man Reggie” as I give this feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Weed Hacker Massacre (Tubi) – The movie can get a little confusing on what exactly is going on but the basic premise of the project is about a killer named “Pokerface”. The Indie slasher can be hilarious in certain moments as a remake of a bad horror movie is being done ten years after. Supposedly the killer Pokerface was killing cast members on set during filming. So decade later the remake is happening with someone that survived and people are dying again but it is found out the murders are being done by the family who pretty much own the town. Again an odd and a little confusing concept but at times fun as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

A Mother’s Dying Wish (DVD) – A short film from a talented filmmaker named Jason Burke available on his ‘Nostalgic Nightmare Productions Movie Collection Volume 2’ that was made for the 48 Hour Film Project. Siblings get together trying to face the fact their mother has passed away as their mother got them to this meeting with a letter. They discuss, argue, etc. but that’s when the fun begins as none of them understand until it is too late this was a part of their mother’s plan for them after death as I give the short film 4 out of 4 stars.

Amityville La Llorona (YouTube) – Welcome to entry #72 of the long running horror series that has no signs of stopping as I will always keep watching. This installment comes off funny to me as I honestly believe this film had another title but at last minute someone used the “Amityville” title to get more eyes on it in some weird way. All of the film is one location where a couple argues over a recent death and what it has done to them? During their 65 minute argument or film in this case a demon comes to visit to wreak havoc on the couple. The biggest problem with this entry was I found it boring and literally this where my theory on why this wasn’t originally an Amityville project but a project with the title slapped on it after the fact. No matter what I give this 0 out of 4 stars.

Until Dawn (Blu-ray) – Maybe one of the bigger surprises in horror for me in 2025 is this project based on a more recent video game of where Clover and friends go retracing Clover’s sister Mel’s steps one year later. After directions from a gas station attendant they come to an old ‘visitor center’ for a town that doesn’t exist anymore. The group investigates the building then quickly they all are savagely killed. They all wake up again at the place to do it again, again, again, night after night until they can find a way to survive until dawn. As the nights go on the murders become even more brutal than the night before but the group slowly picks up on the details of what can help them before it’s too late. This is all because an experiment linked to a massive mining accident twenty years before. I quite enjoyed how much fun this horror movie actually was as I give it 3 stars.

Bring Her Back (Blu-ray) – Step siblings are forced to be with a foster parent after their father died unexpectingly in the shower. Piper and Andy fight to stay together and they are given a chance with a reliable foster parent in Laura who used to work for the system. Once at their new residence Andy feels something is off as they meet another child Oliver as the kid acts very off is the best way to put it. The plan for the duo is get through the next few months where Andy will be allowed to apply for guardianship of Piper. But Laura has other plans as she sneaks around in attempt to separate the step siblings as Oliver is always the reason for the plan. As time goes on all involved understand Ollie cannot be controlled any longer and the step siblings figure out they are part of some dark ritual of moving a soul. This slow burn of a horror film isn’t perfect but enjoyable as it presents the lengths of a mother will go to bring her daughter back to life as I give this project 3 stars.

Return of the Corn Zombies (Tubi) – The sequel to mid-west zombie outbreak film is here and once again casted with some very talented Indie folk. The outbreak is not slowing as this project follows a band of survivors traveling across the country looking for a so-called “Paradise”? They want somewhere they do not have to run from or fight for their lives daily. Along the way they meet a young lady who believes they can find what they might be looking for at “Homestead” or their paradise after a long trek to what they thought was safe but was no longer. When they arrive in this safe place they find it to be weird, peaceful, but a little secretive. This farming community has its reasons to be secretive as nothing is what it seems as this family running Homestead have found a way to survive and do not like outsiders as they believe only in family. The film has a great cast again, the film’s beginning is just absolutely fun with its ‘Day of the Dead’ vibe and music, and I quite enjoyed they just didn’t decide to do the same movie all over again. Don’t sleep on this independent zombie project and go support it as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Addy and Andy (Blu-ray) – A no budget 12 episode show from Addison Binek and Andrew Hansom about two young men living together and what antics they get themselves into. Think of an unfiltered but professionally shot sitcom or long skit of two dudes in their early twenties trying to figure out life but mostly like to entertain themselves when together. Some of my laugh out loud episodes involve the movie CHUD, the duo trying not to let the other see they are drinking, The Del Taco episode, and the vampire of course. All the episodes are hilarious but had to point those out as I believe this creation comes off natural and wouldn’t be surprised two young dudes with no camera and living together would be doing these things? I know I would have and for that I am delighted to give this must see project 4 out of 4 stars. What is even better is the episodes are an average of less than ten minutes making it an easy watch but more importantly easy for rewatches on a regular basis.

Amityville Chupacabra (YouTube) – So for entry #73 a team of scientists has captured a mysterious creature/Cryptid for experimentation at the Amityville Labs. Unsure where their experiments should go next because of the creature’s unrest the creature finds a way to escape and begins hunting down people in the labs. Reinforcements are called in to recapture the creature but the scientists understand they are now very expendable because of the escape the project is going to be taken over. I like this concept for a cheesy monster movie entry into the Amityville series but felt a different location and just more blood because it is a cheesy monster concept would have helped this entry as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Zombies (YouTube) – Moving on to entry #74 without warning this one is an anthology of Amityville zombie films in various lengths. Shawn Phillips who has made several entries has found an unmarked video tape at a thrift store and while watching the tape changes him into a zombie. On the tape is these projects hosted by the lovely and talented Dr. Boobenstein aka Rebecca Rinehart. All the films long or short take place around the New York area. First half of the film is a very serious zombie segment called ‘District Dead’ about a YouTuber witnessing a zombie outbreak and six months later he is recording what is left. In the middle are a couple non-serious zombie shorts then the second half is made up of two brothers surviving the zombie onslaught in the New York area? It is a different concept but what hurts it is the first film ‘District Dead’ runs about 37 minutes or so and literally could have stood on its own. This project sets the tone of the anthology and the segments that follow it just don’t fit with it in my opinion. This attempt isn’t a bad idea by any means the anthology just feels like oil and water and believe something else other than ‘District Dead’ would have been a better fit for the better of the anthology. ‘District Dead’ is something that should have been released on its own for the benefit of both projects as I give this entry 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #685

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Brute 1976 (On Demand) – On August 19, 1976 a group of people headed out to the middle of nowhere desert for a photo shoot that was near the ghost town of “Savage” where stories of people going missing there intrigues the group. Of course unbeknownst to the group a weird ass family lives there to feed on strangers when they pass through. One by one the family picks them off like kids playing with their toys on Christmas morning. The film stars Sarah French who was great as usual as the film has this ‘House of a 1000 Corpses’ vibe but never fulfills its potential of entertaining thrills as from the beginning it feels like its missing that certain ingredient to make it awesome. For that I can only give this flick 2 stars.

Movie Theater Massacre (Tubi) – The Redford Movie Theatre is closing this week as staff is sad to see it go as their jobs will also. Lots of commentary by the characters why theaters are going away these days: COVID, Streaming, Netflix, no 70s erotica, you are getting the picture. But a mystery person has taken it upon themselves to kill off the employees and eventually steal stuff. What seems like a fun premise takes a complete left turn into absurdity as ghosts from the theater’s past kills the killer and somehow the once being sold theater is saved… WTF? The film starts off as a self-aware we are smarter than you watching this movie kind of thing then turns into a complete farce of “we have no clue what we actually want this movie to be”. For that you get 0.0 stars. I feel like there was an idea in there somewhere but yinz quickly got away from it.

Weapons (Amazon) – A film to me at least that was advertised as a modern day ‘Village of the Damned’ actually is not as in a small community a whole classroom of kids except one disappears in the middle of the night. The teacher of this classroom is haunted by the event as she cannot leave things alone by must knowing what really happened. One concerned parent begins to figure things out but this is where we get several stories or points of view from several characters that eventually intersect explaining the evil that is in the town. The movie is a solid scare but not the horror film for me if that makes sense as the cop character and his story arc easily could have been cut out chopping this movie down to a more reasonable viewing experience. Again the movie has an interesting way of unfolding but I believe this horror film is meant for more the mainstream crowd as I give it 2 stars.

The Amityviller Killer (Fawesome) – First, yes you read that spelling right. Second, welcome to entry #70 kids that happens to be a short film consisting of a woman slaughtering Amityville residents. But just when you knew what the hell was going on an alien has landed in Amityville to snatch up subjects for its leader that happens to be a guinea pig. What does this all mean? Could not for the loves of Rutger Hauer tell you but it was better than ‘Amityville Mt. Misery Road’. For just the utter weirdness I give this 24 minute project 2 out of 4 stars.

The Amityville Lost Tape (Fawesome) – Oh my kids we got entry #71 here as its present day Halloween where an individual finds a VHS tape in a bowl of candy he stole. The tape consist footage of three individuals who are so-called paranormal investigators who plan to visit the Amityville home. To their credit they do a deep dive into everything supernatural or paranormal: EVPs, horoscopes, tarot card readings, discussions, etc. Everything builds to the three visiting the Amityville house in attempt to catch or report something ghastly. But in the end all we get is the characters walking near it and driving near it then some static. There is wonderful buildup by the filmmaker but a disappointing way to end a found footage film as I give this entry 1 ½ stars.

Evil Night (Blu-ray) – Looking for an oddity well you got it here as Chris Seaver and crew in 2014 remade Todd Jason Cook’s underground Indy film from 1992 with a more comedic twist. The plot revolves around your classic movie nerd Jimmy Fisher who is obsessed with the cute redhead Jennifer he is tutoring. But Jennifer with the help of friends convinces her to prank Jimmy in his basement/lab as they plan to post the footage on social media. This sends Jimmy over the edge to wear a clown mask and slaughter those who wronged him. Right or wrong people this was a crude but fun remake to check out but more than likely yinz will think it’s more of a Seaver film than a remake. No matter I give this entertaining remake with a ‘Slaughter High’ vibe 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

He’s Coming to Get You! (DVD) – This well casted independent horror film is about George waking up to celebrate his 33rd birthday. Aside from his girlfriend Asia forced to work a bit that day they have plans to hang, celebrate, and do the TONGUE trick. The two go visit an occult book store where the store owner spooks them a bit. They are satisfied with the experience only to be accosted immediately by two individuals in an alley where George is shot and killed as his girlfriend is kidnapped for nefarious actions. The occult store owner sees the event happen and brings George back explaining he has six hours to use his new afterlife to save his girlfriend. This feature has a little bit of everything: great cast, great onscreen chemistry between the George and Asia characters, a hilarious foot fetish scene, the occult, something for all independent film fans as I give this quite a piece of entertainment 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #684

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Baron Morbid’s Basement of Mediocrity (DVD) – A horror host and his assistant had been doing this show for a while as they decide to show their own feature… ‘Spawn of Sasquatch’. They put together two of Douglas Waltz’s features for a fun picture shown in edited form. Something that used to be done years ago at the drive-in, etc., but they get into that during introduction. They smash the titles ‘Gingersquatch’ (which is quality viewing by the way) and (I believe) ‘Infinite Clown War’ or thirty minutes or so of each project together to make one film for a hilarious combo for their show. Think public access show feel and its tongue-in-cheek process is throwback random stuff I would find in the early 90s on late night cable as I gotta give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars for the effort but also because I am a huge fan of ‘Gingersquatch’!

Scream Test (Blu-ray) – Another horror project done in 2020 that starred Felissa Rose as Angie a popular actress who happens to damage her vocal chords on the set of an independent horror film. She is advised in getting as much rest as possible so her and her manager head to an island to heal up from her aliment. Small but a great resort island for the select few soon find themselves lining up to be killed one by one but the murders are playing out like scenes from Angie’s past features. The premise is pretty cool but this has that awkward feel from beginning to end that it was shot during COVID where everyone was uncertain what would, could be done, or should be, etc. Maybe done two years before this time we might be talking of this being some kind of direct-to-video gem but its awkwardness is what holds this project back. I only give it 2 stars but glad it’s finally available for horror fans to seek out.

Metalheads: The Good, The Bad, The Evil (DVD) – A Bill Zebub flick from 2008 where he writes, directs, and edits of course where his character Bill is kind of dumped by his girlfriend Elaine because he is always jobless! Elaine and Bill see things differently of course in their relationship especially after doing acid which sounded like a great idea to Elaine which takes up a large chunk of the film. It comes down to Elaine wanting more, believing she deserves more or at least someone better than Bill who is worried about himself more than anything else. For me this project had great music but a lot less plot than usual and that is saying something as I feel this film really doesn’t go anywhere other than promoting the cool music that is part of the soundtrack as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

Rebirth (DVD) – This is a surprising 32 minute short film from a kid that plays every role in the film along with filming it all, very impressive! A young boy murders a friend then commits suicide after the event only to be found quickly by a neighbor. Five years pass before a person performs a ritual for the purpose to bring the young killer back to life. The killer awakes to slaughter all who are about to party in his old home. By no means is this project beyond wonderful but the kid who made it , Ben Gaudet was awesome putting this all together and makes it work. Hell I believe many people twice if not three times older could learn from this rough but fantastic independent project I gotta give 2 ½ out of 4 stars.    

Ganjasaurus Rex (DVD-R) – WTF Rutger Hauer is this project? In 1987 someone made only one feature ever in their life and it was this… A group of friends have a magically weed seed to grow amazing weed in the California mountains. Problem is the authorities are cracking down on weed growers (much weed raids from news coverage) Because of all the weed raids it seems a legendary dinosaur is chasing down this magical tree while haunting the North Coast of California sort of. The movie is completely absurd and batshit as how this didn’t become a cult classic as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Atomic Gorilla A Go-Go! (DVD) – A 60 minute feature from Douglas Waltz that made me laugh out loud quite a few times but also works as a cult thing from the past that is hard to explain to younger movie viewers. But a random gorilla is abducted by aliens as it doesn’t take long for it to escape their clutches as in return gains special powers that includes the gorilla getting laid even after being radioactive! When the gorilla isn’t being hunted by a bounty hunter the gorilla has some weird visions of an old dude whispering things to him. It was one of those train wrecks that viewers will find themselves unable to turn away while watching as for that I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Void (YouTube) – Yes folks we have made it to entry #69 in the series where this entry shouldn’t be taken lightly as if it wasn’t called “Amityville” I feel horror fans would have been sharing this film on YouTube more? But anyway three young brothers in this no budget found footage feature do a paranormal show decide to enter the Amityville house (no it’s not the real house and shame on some of yinz acting surprised in the comments of their YouTube channel and giving them crap). This no budget feature has the three brothers investigating and quickly finding strange things happening. Intrigued by their findings they want to keep going until they have made contact with the presence in the house, problem is the results are tragic for the three. Again if this wasn’t an Amityville title I could see the younger crowd trying to make this project go viral. If anything, we all should enjoy what was accomplished here and keep an eye out for more features from the group as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Ed Kemper (Tubi) – Movie is based on a true story of a serial killer named Ed Kemper from the early 70s that I never heard of but became quite intrigued after watching said movie. After killing his grandparents in the 60s he was released as an adult five years after saying he would be “completely fine adjusting to the world again”. Kemper at an early age claimed to be abused by his mother and constantly blames her for his murdering ways. Even after his release he went back to live with his mother who only escalated Ed’s sinister need to kill women. Kemper kept upping the ante with each murder as he took pictures of his work to look over later. The effects were kick ass, this serial killer was scary as shit knowing he existed, and they casted a really good look-a-like for this as I give the film 3 stars.

Savage Christmas (DVD) – An independent film from about a dozen years ago or so where a group of college aged people head out to the middle of nowhere for the Christmas holiday to a Bed and Breakfast joint of sorts. After making a quick stop at a crime scene as we all do one of them picks up an amulet that got a film crew slaughtered by a demonic presence! The creature uses this amulet to possess and kill inside the vacation spot during the holiday causing a large bloodbath all in the search for a virgin. The evil seems to be winning until dirty Santa Claus dude shows up to help what is left of the group to survive the X-mas nightmare. It looks fun, it feels fun, but seems to lose its way closer it got to the ending as I give this small project 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #683

0

H.P. Lovecraft’s Celephais (Vimeo) – A short story of Lovecraft’s adapted to film by Michael Neel who edited and directed this 34 minute short film project. This might be a story that horror fans are not too familiar with as the usuals are: The Unnamable, Re-Animator, From Beyond, or even Dagon of which we have seen adapted to name a few. This version deals with an old man fascinated with a dream place/land called “Celephais” that he has been chasing down since he was seven years old. He travels his dreamland when he sleeps constantly as he believes this is home but along his travels he encounters many that are interested in him. This short story/short film is fascinating to me as it can be taken as many things? For me for instance this old man is dying or already right at the edge and his brain is taking him to where he always thought he belonged… before he crosses over in so many words if you believe in such things as the ‘beyond’ to just put it out there broadly. That is how I see it as I may experience something like that a few years back but the point is filmmaker Michael Neel and crew just nailed this project as it was well thought out, well shot, perfect use of locations, and just enough weirdness that I think Lovecraft fans will enjoy it. This short film is one of the best things I have watched in 2025 as it’s absolutely charming at the same time hypnotically amazing! For that my friends I have to give this short film 4 out of 4 stars.

28 Years Later (On Demand) – Best way to explain this movie at least for me is: this isn’t the zombie/rage virus movie I was looking for? Of course it picks up 28 years after the virus has hit Europe. They have been able to contain it ‘Escape from New York’ style but basically if your ass was in that zone… you were fucked! A community cut off from the mainland because of high tide has managed to survive all this time because of their rules. A young boy turning into a man knows his mum is sick as he hears a story of a rogue doctor (Dr. Kelsey) who chose to stay on the mainland with the infected. The boy sneaks his mum out of the community to gain answers from this doctor in hopes of curing his mum. We learn there is “Alphas”, they can get prego, and this shit isn’t just go away, but a big part of me just wonders if I watched one long weird movie about “assisted suicide”? Again for me this wasn’t the movie I wanted to see for the third entry in the series but also I wasn’t quite a fan of the second film either as I give it 2 stars.

Dark Night of the Scarecrow 2 (DVD) – Literally whose fucking bright idea was it to make a sequel to a 40 year old TV movie that stars Larry Drake? Let alone at least one if not two generations of horror fans don’t even know about the original film as I hate to say it but you may have been better off remaking it instead of just a no budget sequel. Anyway, the film is about a killer scarecrow helping out a young boy Jeremy and his mom who just moved to this small farm community. Blah, blah, blah sorry but the plot comes off uninspiring as I doubt horror fans even know or care about this being released recently as I give it 0 stars.

Dead End Meg (Fawesome) – An oddity of a tale about two best friends who have a major problem. A guy named Gunnar that the two friends owe money too has a girlfriend named Meg who just had a wild kinky night of sex with one of the fellows. Here is the problem: he remembers nothing, they need to get rid of the body, and Gunnar’s guys suspect Meg is at the house? Just a weirdo off the wall independent movie with a lot of anal and penis conversations and a hilarious plot of how do they get rid of Meg? This is one of those films that will make a few viewers turn the movie off  before it is over as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

X: The Man with the X-ray Eyes (DVD) – An early 60s classic that involves Dr. Xavier having a breakthrough formula that can be used as drops in the eyes to help a human see beyond what the human brain can comprehend. The good doctor believes this could revolutionize healthcare as he keeps seeing his eye doctor preparing to possibly test on himself? As his funding gets pulled Dr. Xavier sees no other choice to prove all who doubt him wrong he must use it on himself. With the experimental formula his eyes begin to change as he can see past surfaces, see people naked, etc. but he accidentally pushes his best friend out the window when arguing about the risks. Because of the death Dr. X goes on the run as he ends up at a boardwalk circus and eventually Vegas as he tries to continue the treatment to his eyes. Eventually the experiment turns on him in this fun treat of a thriller as I give it 3 stars.

The Necro Files (DVD) – This 1997 independent feature from filmmaker Matt Jassile is a gritty, sleazy, even gory version of ‘The X-Files’. The story proceeds about a couple of cops who catch up to a somewhat cannibalistic serial rapist in the middle of his chaotic mess. The cops go a little too far with their capture of the notorious rapist as they kill him after being handcuffed. Nine months later a satanic cult (in midday mind you) performs a ritual to bring back this nasty abomination! Suddenly an undead serial rapist has risen and wonders the streets but just don’t ask why the zombie rapist’s dick is longer than most people’s arms… Even in the afterlife this horny bastard continues his demented raping and killing but let’s not forget there is also a flying demonic baby after the zombie that only bites you in the jugular (seriously not making this wild shit up)! So it’s all up to the two officers that started this mess as they chase this zombie down in their Ford Tempo and for that I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.  

The Craiglon Incident II: Aftermath (DVD) – A who’s who of independent cinema joins Joel D. Wynkoop in this wild alien war project that was done during COVID. Everything was done with social distancing involved and comes off more of a history piece or lesson for film fanatics of what it was like at that time of doing nothing. Joel goes complete cheeseball mode as he has fun with aliens invading Earth, but not just this Earth but all of them. The aliens at one point are going door to door to destroy all humans. See apparently our Earth has several portals to others as three so-called warriors are called into action by a good alien to save their world… maybe? Parsons, Emile, and Dawes (Joel Wynkoop, Shawn Phillips, and Phil Herman) become the heroes once they have the alien tech to win the war. It’s a very cheesy, laughable, but entertaining piece of cinema history that should be watched by all Indy fans. Hell I am not a huge Shawn Phillips fan but thought just like Joel and Phil he went full cheeseball mode and did their best to entertain as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Jacker 3: Road to Hell (YouTube/DVD) – Mr. Herman returns to a character that caught many eyes in independent cinema thirty years ago as it fits like a glove and he wastes no time of continuing the lean into the supernatural that causes “The Jacker” to be seen as a mythical or even biblical figure. The Jacker or Mike has been quiet for 30 years as he disappeared after his reign of terror but a recent death of a drifter in the woods has caused concern along with the anniversary of the scary events. This has perked the ears of authorities and survivors alike as original characters return looking for answers. For one reason or another the time was right for The Jacker to return as he seems to be paving a road of blood to Gloria who found a way to survive The Jacker’s original attack thirty years ago. Between the return of original characters, the flashbacks to help explain the origin of sorts, and just this odd alternate world of supernatural gives the film a fun and entertaining quirkiness charm that will have independent die hards celebrating Phil Herman’s return to the character. For that I give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #682

2

Christmas Revenge (DVD) – This is the short film by Derek Braasch that was included on Phil Herman’s fun project ‘I Slay Christmas’ anthology two years ago and now has been released on its own with some extras. The quick hitting short film deals with Santa being held captive by a man named Curtis. Curtis is upset and wants his revenge on Santa for kissing his mother and ruining the family. Problem, the family was weird to begin with as Santa explains it was Grandpa with mom messing around. It is what it is for the most part but it was enough to distract Curtis for Santa to hit the panic button to alert Mrs. Claus. She arrives to kick ass but also has a bone to pick with Mr. Claus in this fun holiday horror stuff as I give the short film on its own 3 out of 4 stars.

Krampus Collection: Krampus I-V (DVD) – Matthew Mark Hunter is at it again with this holiday collection of short films over the past decade he has made that deals with this evil holiday horror character ‘Krampus’. Part one deals with a young boy David not listening to his babysitter on Christmas Eve as Krampus comes to visit. Part two involves siblings and a babysitter as the older brother Sean despises the holiday as Krampus and his supernatural evil toys come to visit. Part three is a little interesting as a little girl writes Santa about causing her family pain as good ole Saint Nick sends Krampus! Part four deals with the modern day origin of Krampus and individuals believing they can control the evil menace. Part five has Krampus as a snow beast who visits those who celebrate the holiday offseason? None of the collection overstays its welcome, if anything it really shows how much of a filmmaker Mr. Hunter has grown as I give the fun independent collection 3 out of 4 stars.

The Wynkoop Tales (DVD) – Joel Wynkoop writes/directs/produces this anthology of four stories that are from storyteller Barry Atwater who is trying to sell his wild stories to a publisher. The wraparound of course is Barry telling the stories to the publisher and why they should be picked up. But first story involves a husband tired of his wife and selling her to another man to pay the bills. Second story deals with a man trying to do right by his wife after becoming a vampire recently as he tries to not involve her. Third story is an interesting twist of a couple of psychos escaping the looney bin only to enjoy killing again. Fourth story is somewhat hilarious as it involves a woman coming across some masked idoits in a forest whose cult revolves around the demon god ‘Zoltron’! Problem is her father just drove 900 miles to kick some ass to save his daughter. If you are a fan of this great independent talent then this is a must have for your collection as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Lethal Nightmare (DVD) – A recently released film from the Polonia Brothers that was made in 1991 but never made its release because of the company at the time it was with closed up. Now to their best ability you get to witness this once lost film that was shot on Super-8 by the brothers as Mark does an introduction to the film explaining why it wasn’t released and that was a remake of one of their earlier projects. This is a very bizarre Polonia Brothers project as it has a wonderful ‘Phantasm’ vibe to it as three brothers living together discover evil in their home that perhaps is coming from their dreams and nightmares. The more you think you understand the weirder the film gets as I give this very odd never quite finished project 2 out of 4 stars.

Special Needs Revolt! (Tubi) – This independent film is hilarious, made to make you feel awkward and very on par with today’s politics right now in 2025! Billy Bates is a guy with Down syndrome who is forced to live in a group home because his grandma “Is a bitch!” Billy’s words not mine. During a New Year’s Eve party Billy finally gets in the spirit of the event after seeing a candidate for President: Donald J. Kruger is going to run on the platform of getting rid of all the cripples. Billy slips on puke, hits his head, and wakes up three years later to find this moron Kruger is the president and has special needs people arrested on site. As Billy fights with authorities in public he escapes their custody in the town of Donville where he finds friends in hiding. These are people just like Billy hiding out from the new government and military as Billy decides it is time for a rebellion! Billy Bates leads a force of special needs people and wrestlers to capture President Kruger and expose him for the asshole he is. I absolutely enjoyed this film as I too have two special needs people in my life and there is a lot of possible awkward moments in the film for audiences who do not have anybody like Billy in their lives. I wish the 110 minute running was edited down as I believe the project would benefit greatly from it but don’t let that stop you from enjoying an excellently made film with a great cast that will make you squirm a little while watching it as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Channel 13 (Blu-ray) – A lost anthology that was made by the Polonia Brothers after ‘Splatter Farm’ that was never quite finished but definitely has a nostalgic vibe of what it was like at the time they filmed it in the late 80s. Again this as an introduction by Mark Polonia explaining what happened to the film and how its available now as the first tale is ‘All Hallows Eve’ where a man brings a scarecrow to life to claim it is the only friend he has. Second tale called ‘Claws of Terror’ deals with a mutant bird meets man. Third tale is somewhat funny as Mark Polonia explains it was the brothers take on ‘Motel Hell’ before ever seeing the full movie called ‘Slaughterhouse’. Hank’s Sauce Farm is the place to be if you want good food and not be seen from ever again! If you are a nerd for Polonia Brothers projects as I am this is some wonderful unfinished stuff to witness as its frozen in time and really cool how they shot Super-8 for a bit along with SOV as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #681

0

Bigfoot Town (YouTube) – Mitch Laing is at again with Bigfoot stuff as this time a family who inherited a farm in the town of Mountain Bend decide it’s a good idea to move there and get the place up and running. As they adjust to the new life two hunters die of unnatural causes which has authorities all over the property investigating. To add to the aggravation the “Chasing Bogman” crew shows up adding chaos to the event. Funny thing is the mayor allows the crew to do whatever they want in the small town as it’s not long before the film crew figures out they are in over their head with chasing this Bigfoot! Another bloody entertaining good time as I give this production 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Sea of Madness: Siren’s Revenge (YouTube) – So what’s left of the “Chasing Bogman” crew finds their way to a research ship? But this isn’t any research ship as this an experiment with bacteria from the ocean floor has gone wrong! Something has infected most of the crew on board or has eaten them as a monstrous being lurks in the darkness of the vessel. Unbeknownst to some stranded people from another boat who find the vessel believe they are saved until they start to venture deep into the ship and find what is left of the crew. Instead of being saved now it is survival mode as they try to kill what is on the ship? ‘Mermaid horror’ is a hard thing to pull off on a big budget or small as something always goes wrong or the filmmaker lingers away from the original concept… I gotta give Mr. Laing and crew kudos on this one for bringing to life a new take on a tough horror concept especially with that cool transformation scene about 2/3’s of the way through the film. Independent movie fans, give this one a chance as it is free on YouTube to watch as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Rake Investigation (YouTube) – This project is filmed a little different as its part documentary, part investigating a different Cryptid legend, part getting the band back together (Chasing Bogman show). This time around two investigating teams get together to join forces to investigate a supernatural creature in the woods that rips hearts out called “The Rake”. (The creature looks like a bootleg version of that character with eyes on their hands from Pan’s Labyrinth but with a smaller head or a smaller version of that thing from The Keep.) Anyhow the super team tries to focus on tracking this demon-like creature down but at the same time talk about their mid-life crisis of having their original host Richard Brooks rejoin their looks into the unknown. I enjoyed Mitch Laing and folks branching out away from Bigfoot with this newer project in order to breathe fresh life into Cryptid horror. This movie is far from perfect but I believe Mr. Laing has got something here and curious where he goes from here with future projects that live in this little universe he has constructed as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Jaws of the Shark (Blu-ray) – Oh, for the love of Rutger Hauer where has this 2012 no budget Swedish project been hiding from me? From second one this film was made with a smirk on their faces as scientists experiment with a shark and less than eight minutes into the film we have a dude in a bad shark costume running around with a chainsaw killing people! This 65 minute beauty had me laughing from beginning to end as the filmmaker didn’t just lean into the movie being bad, they know it and absolute had fun with it which makes this project brilliant. If the chainsaw doesn’t get you laughing? It doesn’t take long to watch the shark put a human on a spit roast, do horrible car stunts, or have a detective make terrible but hilarious jokes at a police lineup. With this creature on the loose it comes down to a survivor wearing a wig for no apparent reason (as most of the characters are) and a shark mercenary (he wears a gas mask the entire film) to track and kill this creature before it continues its slaughter! Oh my friends there is indeed a good chance this fine project ends up on my “Best of 2025 list” as I give this movie 4 out of 4 stars.

Needlestick (DVD) – So the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen plays a doctor in this little hospital horror where he recently had a stroke but also has a super-secret experiment going on in the basement. His experiment deals with unlocking immortality! Which of course he is jabbing himself with his own formula to fix the complications from his said stroke. Meanwhile a young good doctor Alex is just trying to learn from him and be the main man at the hospital. That’s only a small part of the story as this hospital is the most corrupt movie hospital of all time as there is a lot people getting stabbed with needles in this little horror flick so beware as I give it 2 stars.

A Crazy Country Christmas (VHS) – A demented tale of a young man who kills his best friend during the holiday season as he truly feels he needs to kill again but is haunted by his actions. Most of this looks like a rough edit from a young filmmaker where most of the 24 minute running time is the main character Michael fighting with his inner self trying to convince that he is a maniac? A rude and crude throwback of someone’s early work but always interesting to see where and how filmmakers start out as I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Meat Cleaver Campout Massacre (YouTube) – A man with a meat cleaver has escaped the local psych ward to start slicing and dicing random people he comes across. According to his doctor who is not in a real hurry to track him down believes the psycho is heading back home to the campground where his original slaughter was (sounds a little familiar). Anyway, the killer seems to be unstoppable as he does admire his kills a little too long for this no budget slasher that if I read the credits correctly was made in a day??? Felt if this Canadian production was edited down to 30 minutes from the almost 80 minute runtime this no budget slasher might take on more of a menacing tone if that makes sense? But hey if you like no budget slashers, it is out there for free as I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars as this truly feels like a lost project someone made in 1993 and just threw it out there for the first time.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #680

0

The Bogmanifest (DVD) – Filmmaker Mitch Laing has something to say about Cryptids with his 34 minute tale that takes place in 1907 Arkansas. Pretty much a Sasquatch creature has killed a couple of hunters from a small community near Indian land. Sheriff gets a hunting group together to track down this person or really this thing once everyone is on board that it wasn’t the work of Indians getting revenge against the white man. But fun fact even the Indians are afraid of this Bogman legend but respect it as the hunting party tracks this thing down they get more than they bargain for as the Bogman rips some of the hunting party to shreds. There are things that give this movie some legit charm even though it’s seems crudely put together at times. Mitch and crew just like Mark Polonia with ‘Once Upon a Time Amityville’ had a great location and knew exactly how to use it. Also not straight up calling it a Sasquatch monster as they give a different twist with  more stories to be told makes it for great entertainment for Bigfoot lovers as I give the monster project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Miracle of Violence (DVD) – Two guys hanging out at a movie theater are excited to sit down and check out their DV tapes to see what they got in this SOV anthology? First tape deals with two friends trying to walk home after a night of partying but something has followed them. Second tape deals with degenerates that keep drinking these slushies that are laced with drugs causing them to murder people. Next adventure is about YouTubers unboxing gone wrong because of what they were delivered from the ‘Dark Web’. The next tape deals with an unfortunate group of filmmakers getting behind the scenes footage in the woods and a random lunatic keeps shooting a gun begins to take aim at the group. Another tape has a couple old dudes fishing and discussing supposed ritualistic killings that took place at their fishing spot. And last one (unless you consider the wraparound of the two guys in the theater watching this) is about five friends who get their asses beaten down at a skate park but it only gets worse when werewolves arrive! This independent anthology has a unique feel as it comes off more like random videos taken by several people as they are trying to prove the existence of the supernatural or plain weird shit. A weird, but unique rough around the edges approach to an anthology that will have its fans as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars but would have given 3 out of 4 if the sound was more level from tape to tape and seen it edited down a few more minutes.

Strong Arm (DVD) – Anthony Moran’s first independent feature made in 2020 uses Detroit as the backdrop for everything that happens in this film. It centers on a war vet Jake Ramsey who has come back to his old stomping grounds to clean up after his sister who was left for dead in a random parking lot. Jake of course wants to go all ‘Death Wish’ on a local crime ring that is suspected of this horrific crime. The film is intense, brutal, and atmospheric but with the musical choices as the soundtrack along with Jake’s nightmares it only add to the film’s intensity as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Let Us In! (DVD) – Mr. Anthony Moran’s second feature comes off as ‘The Crazies’ and ‘Assault on Precinct 13’ had a baby in an alternate universe! This super wild film from 2022 has the government placing a “Shelter in Place” order all across Detroit on the emergency broadcast system as it is alerting residents to have no contact with the infected? As two people find themselves stranded they find a house where the person that lets them in doesn’t live there. After a long set up a gang called “Satan’s Keys” arrive at the home looking for the drugs they feel they are owed since their motorcycles were taken. This sets up for a blood filled battle between Satan’s Keys, the two individuals who are stranded at the home, and what lurks hidden in the house confines awaiting for its next slaughter. This all makes for a fun time for independent horror fans but it does feel incomplete in the end but not enough to take away from what Mr. Moran accomplished as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Clown in a Cornfield (Shudder) – Dr. Maybrook and his teenage daughter Quinn have arrived in Kettle Springs where Baypen Corn Syrup had originated at. A Midwest fly over town that is stuck in the 90s (referenced in the movie). The Baypen Factory burned down recently and a group of teenagers Quinn begins to hang out with are blamed by the town and its sheriff. Meanwhile this teenage group likes to pull pranks on each other with the clown mascot and load it up on YouTube. Things seem very innocent until a prank goes wrong at the Founders Day parade and the party that follows that evening where the group is locked out of a barn after clowns come out of the cornfield looking to slice and dice! Remember it’s all because Frendo the Clown and the town are a tradition to weed out the bad things in so many words. An excellent entertaining twist on the clown horror that will have fans watching multiple times as I give the film 3 ½ stars.     

Samhain (DVD) – Justin Freed aka bootleg Drew Marvick has escaped a facility as it goes up in flames to kill again. This no budget film pretty much goes for the jugular of a dude killing several people in a community wearing a clown mask but misses its target big time. The film felt cobbled together and not thought all the way through as it felt like they possibly were making it up as the camera filmed. Sorry I wish I could say something better about the project but I know what I watched as I can only give it 1 out of 4 stars.

Chainsaw Killer (DVD) – A 2001 Mark Polonia project that really doesn’t feel like a Polonia project as 15 years before a man kills himself with the tape from his VHS movie ‘The Force Beneath’. Now present day a madman with a chainsaw is running around a rural Pennsylvania town hacking people to pieces with the nickname “Chainsaw Killer”. This is all going on while an early YouTuber is hell bent on finding a rare copy of the movie ‘The Force Beneath’ even if it means stealing it out of handicapped dude’s garage. I believe there was a lot of reaching on making a connection between the two things that were happening in the film. Along with Mark Polonia most likely being a hired gun on a subpar script or he wasn’t given a whole lot of time to put this project together. No matter what the answer is this much lesser known Mark Polonia film is still floating out there for anybody interested in tracking down a copy as I can only give it 1 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #679

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What Happens After the Massacre? (Tubi) – An independent film set in the woods of Michigan at Camp Kiwassee where ‘Red Face’ the killer slashes his way through a new set of victims every summer. This is where Henry comes in as his job is to clean up after every massacre and get the camp all ready for the kids to come back. Between Henry breaking in a new employee to help him clean and wondering out loud why ‘Red Face’ left him alone when he seen the killer slaughter his camp counselors years ago makes it one hell of a movie idea. The film attempts to answer some questions of the 80s slashers that take place at camp sites while having some fun with the concept as they also throw in some gore to keep it interesting as I got give this ‘massacre’ film 3 out of 4 stars.

Bride of the Werewolf (DVD) – Okay here was an interesting throwback monster film done on an Indie budget. Two beautiful young women go driving through the countryside only to be harassed by a couple horny locals, their car break down, and then meet a stranger at his home with an odd friend looking for help. The stranger, Saul has a secret while the one woman, Sylvia, becomes fascinated with Saul and his work as he is also just as fascinated with Sylvia’s research. Both falling in love and wanting to protect each other. Mark Polonia treats this old school classic monster subject matter with the right amount respect while Mel Heflin just kills it as Sylvia! Imagine if someone like a Roger Corman made an American Hammer film as I give this cool monster flick 3 out of 4 stars.

The Swabian Sawmill Massacre 2 (DVD) – The German crazy splatterfest has a sequel where the killer is declared dead after injecting himself with a needle. But not so fast splatterfest fans because once the needle is removed in the morgue the killer pops back to life again so he can continue his slaughter! This not so serious massacre literally has a kill scene where the killer cuts off a victim’s hand and sticks up his ass. Pretty much just another chaotic German splatterfest that follows in the bloody footsteps of the first film as I give the sequel 2 ½ stars.

Tag Team (DVD-R) – You can find this on YouTube and some other sites if you look hard enough depending on quality if that is your thing? But anyhow this was a buddy cop pilot from 1990 starring Jesse “the Body” Ventura and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper! The premise of the show was supposed to be about these two wrestlers who get screwed over so they are forced to find a new career to pay the rent. After failing at a few things they get the idea of becoming cops after saving a grocery store from being robbed. No sooner than they graduate, their first day on the job is to protect a witness from being killed by the mob for something she seen. Yes this concept is very corny and hilarious but how did this get the axe and we were shoveled some other crap we had witnessed at that time? Who knows as it may have been doomed from the beginning as wrestling still wasn’t accepted by many? No matter what this entertaining piece of TV is well worth killing an hour for as I give it 4 stars.

Amityville Backrooms (Tubi) – Welcome my friends to entry #68 from Evan Jacobs who has done a couple entries in the ‘Amityville’ series but maybe more known for his ‘Death Toilet’ series. Anyhow, this time around the Amityville home is about to be sold again. The real estate agent selling it magically finds himself transported to the house from his office. After a week he finds himself defeated as he is stuck in this realm of the house. A week later a friend at the real estate agency looks into why there was no closing on the Amityville home and then finds himself trapped at the haunted home too. Honestly once you watch the first twenty minutes, you have watched the entire 71 minute film as not much happens other than both real estate agents bitching they can’t leave. I believe this would have made a great short film to add to the series but instead you will feel like you should win a prize just for watching it to the end as I give it 1 star.

Desert Fiends (DVD) – A Shawn Phillips feature that has a lot of cameos and people getting dicks ripped off as he puts his touch on the ‘Hills Have Eyes’ formula. Friends for a 21st birthday head to the middle of the desert for a bad ass concert. Nevermind the mutant family that lives in a cave nearby believes someone has just ringed the dinner bell! From there chaos ensues literally as we have mutant family, concert in desert, not a lot of plot, with a good amount of gore. The film has its entertaining moments but feels like a total mess that had no business running as long as it did as I got to give it 1 ½ stars for all the dick ripping, biting, and hacking off.

The Final Interview (Blu-ray) – Journalist Oliver Ross is brought to a prison to do a one of a kind live interview with inmate Darius Tidman a couple hours before his execution. Tidman is this notorious Pittsburgh killer who supposedly just enjoyed his killing ways until he got caught. Oliver Ross is an over the hill journalist whose better days are behind him as he has burned many bridges in his business and it’s his last chance to hit big! For the hour of television the two go back and forth tempting each other, challenging each other in some weird game of getting the info they want. This Fred Vogel flick is timeless, brilliantly laid out, just so damn intriguing as the characters capture your attention immediately and don’t let go! How this perfect piece of cinema isn’t playing on one of those crime channels or streaming sites is beyond me as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars.    

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