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Gross Movie Reviews #649

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Tin Roof (Blu-ray) – Rising star in filmmaker Rebecca Rinehart returns to the director’s chair with her latest feature that takes place at Cedar Falls Summer Camp. The wonderful summer camp after decades of being open is about to be closed because of several accidental deaths that worries the mayor. But others who grew up going there don’t want it to close and try to come up with a solution to save the camp. The five friends who are trying to save the camp decide to go back to Cedar Falls Summer Camp so they can get digital content to get the word out about the closing. But it becomes a big problem when a terrible event occurs that causes the group to uncover a long hidden truth about the deaths. This movie felt like it never got quite going like it was missing a gear or something that makes the story pop. Saying that Rebecca is a talented filmmaker and if it makes any sense I feel she hasn’t found that right project to show off how good she is but hope she keeps trying as I give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Accion Mutante (4K/Blu-ray) – This rarely seen but much celebrated Spanish/French production from 1992 finally has gotten the restoration treatment from Severin and allows us to remove our U.S. bootlegs under the title ‘Mutant Action’ from our collections. This post-apocalyptic dark comedy cult hit is set in a future time where good looking people rule the world and a terrorist group of so-called mutants plan a kidnapping. Ramon and others of ‘Mutant Action’ kidnap the daughter of Orujo and during their getaway things do not go as planned including the daughter falling in love with Ramon. Ramon double crosses his team in order to collect the ransom but of course that doesn’t go as planned either as the best way to describe this cult film is: a crazy sci-fi film of chaos from beginning to end. This new release has all kind of goodies for fans to enjoy and highly recommend this film of Alex de la Iglesia to anyone that looks for something different to watch on a regular basis as I give it 4 stars.

Sting (DVD) – An American/Australian production about a space rock hitting earth landing in a dollhouse of an apartment. The rock hatches with a space spider emerging and being found by a young girl named Charlotte who moves through the duct work of the apartments. She places it in a jar, gives it the name ‘Sting’, and begins to feed it. The space spider wastes no time escaping to feed on small animals and quickly humans in order for it to grow and learn. There is a lot going on around Charlotte story wise but that doesn’t take away from we got a space spider trying to eat up everyone in this apartment building during a cold snap. Give this fun killer spider stuff 4 stars.

Immaculate (DVD) – A young woman Cecilia is heading to a convent in Italy where she was directed to go and take her vows. After a few weeks of being there and finding her place in the convent it is revealed she is prego without sin. Of course there is some strangeness surrounding the event as she cannot escape the convent but apparently the symbol of Jesus’ sacrifice will get you prego?! Along the way Cecilia uncovers there has been many failures but she is the exception as she will give birth to an unholy demon. Had a tough time getting through this one especially seeing ‘The First Omen’ before this and believe they did it better? But this one just left me feeling meh as I can only give it 2 stars.

Lisa Frankenstein (DVD) – Every once in a while we get a horror film/dark comedy that is able to grab horror fans and non-horror fans together and this was the one for 2024. Lisa is a young lady who hasn’t found love yet but does quite enjoy spending time in the local cemetery that is considered haunted. Her obsession of one grave in the cemetery is brought to life one night after a strange storm. The young man from the grave comes to visit Lisa sending her into a frenzy of helping her undead friend soon to be boyfriend as she sews human parts to him. Yes, there is a scene of Lisa sewing a dick to her undead boyfriend. As the bodies begin to pile up Lisa learns there will be a price to pay for finding love. This retro horror flick set in 1989 carries that ‘Heathers’ vibe of dark but fun horror/comedy style that plays like a Disney teen flick gone to the dark side as I give it 3 ½ stars.

K. The Butcher Shitter (YouTube/remake) – First, just a little background on watching this flick. The digital screener and trailer got the filmmaker’s YouTube channel banned so it was sent to me by download.  Second, for those who may not know this is a remake of ‘Violent Shit 2’ which talented filmmaker Alex Wesley had total consent from Andreas Schnaas to go make an updated version in his own vision as Alex and those who worked on the project were huge fans of the original series. Set in October 1992 a reporter is looking into the cruelest murders ever committed and surprised to learn Karl the Butcher had a son. Now the son is on a gory rampage in the forest to avenge his father as his mother looks on. It has all the craziness of the original you expect to please fans like nudity, cannibalism, gore, bloody boobs, a dick being cut off, and head drilling. You know everything to satisfy the small but rabid fan base of this movie series. Like it, hate it, never heard of it you got to respect this low budget gore film and its history as it’s not exactly my cup of tea but I do know ‘Violent Shit’ fans will be happy there is another entry to this long running series as I give it 3 out of 4 stars so enjoy.

Spooks Run Wild (DVD) – A lost art of a cheap comedy from 1941 where Bela Lugosi appears as a bootleg Dracula named Nardo but there is more to it than that. Some underprivileged teenagers are sent to a camp outside of town to help get them on the right path. But the same night they show up not only it is reported a monster is on the loose near the town, a strange man shows up to the old Billings estate that has sat empty for years. The boys escape under darkness from the camp and stumble into the estate after one of their buddies is shot in a graveyard nearby. From there weird hilarious things happen causing the boys to be scared of the strange man Nardo and his assistant who suddenly showed up to lurk around the estate. Think low budget Three Stooges in a strange haunted house as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #648

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Splatter Theater: Behind the Scenes (DVD) – In summer of 2011 filmmaker Sean Donohue filmed a behind the scenes documentary of a live stage show called ‘Splatter Theater’ in Tampa, Florida. I being me always interested in some of Sean’s earlier work I was able to come in possession of this project. A younger Sean Donohue was able to catch all the gory lead up to the day the show open to the public as we get a lot of Styx soundtrack through the 40 minute film. Also a fun cool present on this same DVD is Sean’s short film ‘Bloody English’ where a pantry-sniffing psycho waits inside a home to kill a couple. The short is followed up by an interview of Sean and his work on the short film. But my question into this early work especially while he did this interview segment, “what is up with that weird bruise on your head dude?” If you are one of those people that like seeing how stuff gets constructed then you’ll enjoy Sean’s early work here as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Joe Vampire (DVD) – Another early Sean Donohue project that he co-directed with Mike Niche in 2012 and released in 2014. This feature stars Mike Christopher from ‘Dawn of the Dead’ fame as Joe Vampire who was bitten during the Civil War but now deals with today’s society of just trying to blend in the background. A young woman named Melissa catches the eye of Joe while at a hole in the wall bar where they don’t exactly hit it off until Joe Vampire saves her in the alley from being assaulted. From there the two quickly develop a connection and after a renewed conversation Joe feels the need to come out to Melissa that he is a vampire. Instead of being scared off she becomes obsessed with becoming part of the undead. Now enters an old friend in Drake to Joe and not so good things could be coming for Joe Vampire and his afterlife. This is one of those projects in my opinion has a great concept but wrong lead actor? Mike Christopher didn’t do anything wrong and clearly has a connection with the Melissa character that goes beyond  the screen but felt a lesser known lead actor might have been the way to go in this Indy project as I give 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In (On Demand) – A young man Chan Lok-kwun looking to be paid for his services so he can get his ID is screwed over by Mr. Big (Sammo Hung). In turn Chan grabs a bag believing its money and not a sack full of drugs and goes running from the gang. Its 1980 Hong Kong and Chan get chased into the citadel. This is a walled off society from the rest of Hong Kong that actually existed! Chan might be able to defend himself against the thugs of Mr. Big but he cannot defend himself when he is facing ‘the barber’. This older man hands Chan his ass without dropping his cigarette and explains if he stays he must become a functional part of what they all do there. The young man just wants to make enough money in order to travel and get his ID but slowly the real identity of Chan comes out that causes Mr. Big and son to try a takeover of the walled in city! The fight scenes are unlike some of the most top notch stuff on screen and this story just sucks you into this 1980 Hong Kong universe. If you are a fan of such titles ‘The Raid’ or ‘Triple Threat’ please give this action/fantasy a try because this will be one of the best movies you watch in 2024 as I give it 4 stars.

Jason in Indianapolis A Friday the 13th Tribute (YouTube) – The film is a fan made project from Samuel L. Schmucker who has made a few fan films in his career so this shouldn’t be a surprise but also got cameos from CJ Graham, Bill Russell, Mel Heflin, and Heather Harlow. To put this version in perspective it looks like this Jason is before part four and six where Jason still has some human traits. So one day Jason kills an Indy wrestler in the woods of Crystal Lake and “mother” begins to speak to Jason about a house a few states away? Along the way Jason is spotted in several wooded areas and kills all who comes near until he reaches his destination. According to news sources this abandoned house somehow belongs in the Voorhees family? Not one of the most exciting fan films plus Jason crossing state lines didn’t really work in ‘Jason Takes Manhattan’ so viewer beware as I could only give this 1 out of 4 stars.

Buttcrack (DVD) – A rather odd film released by Troma and that is saying a lot that was released in 1998 about a young man Brian and his annoying roommate Wade nicknamed “Buttcrack”. Brian has wanted to get more serious with his girlfriend Annie but Wade keeps getting in the way with his buttcrack. One day Brian accidentally kills Wade in the bathroom only to be cursed by Wade’s sister who happens to be a witch. Not long before an undead Wade pays a visit to Brian believing everything is good but with the help of Preacher Man Bob they are both in agreement something needs to be done to put Wade back in his resting place. The film then becomes a hilarious misadventure of dealing with the undead. I have known about the film for many years as I just never found time to watch it. Always one of those films that kept slipping my mind when I would hit the video store, etc., and wish I would have watched it years ago as I believe the film didn’t exactly thrill me at this time? Maybe it’s because I wasn’t a huge Mojo Nixon fan? Was never into him so that could have impacted my opinion? If anything I do respect the cult following of this project and finally glad I did find the time to watch this feature as I give it 2 ½ stars and cross it off the list of stuff I need to watch.

Zombeez (Tubi) – Some small town farms are losing honeybee hives for unknown reasons in this low budget feature. This concerns Jess the coroner as she sells honey on the side and knows this could affect the whole town? Along comes Jake the bug guy to investigate the problem but the real problem is Jake left Jess at the altar three years ago so it is a little messy trying to figure out what’s wrong with the bees. Quickly the bees begin to attack and kill people so the mystery isn’t so much about the chemical that mutated the bees that are now killing people but how you can kill the bees? With weed smoke folks! You had me at CGI zombie bees but there is no way this movie should have pushed 100 minutes as this would have been perfect at 65 or 70 minutes… But still a fun cheesy low budget pick for those like me that love killer bee flicks as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #647

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Crocodile Evil (DVD) – Some Asian cinema weirdness from 1986 that just saying “Flying ghost Crocs” would not explain everything but would love for it to be that. A man has to head to Thailand only to be killed for helping out a young lady. Now his younger brother becomes extremely ill and something about two masters fighting over a magical bracelet that could affect the fate of the world if it falls into the wrong hands. It’s weird and I am sure I still don’t understand what I watched but let’s give it 2 stars anyway.

Oddity (DVD) – One night a woman staying in a newly bought old ass mansion is murdered viciously. A year later her husband is moving on with the hot girlfriend and talk of marriage but before he does he wants to visit his dead wife’s sister Darcy who just happens to run the bootleg ‘Friday the 13th TV series’ oddity shop in town. Ted hands her a glass eye from the person who killed her sister but the sister gets an impression from the eye because being blind has given her psychic powers. Somewhere in Ted’s mind he believes he is moving on but Darcy wants to visit Ted and his girlfriend at the house. She needs to feel it, be in it, but also has brought a mysterious trunk with her. For me it felt like a slow burn that tries to be a couple different things (ex: paranormal) but never fully commits to it which in the end was only okay for me as I give it 2 stars.

A Quiet Place: Day One – In this prequel we are introduced to a young woman who happens to be in a hospice center and dying at all too early age. She has come to grips with it but has a wish before she leaves this place of existence. As she goes for a day trip into New York City with the rest of the folks forty, fifty years older than her to a theater that is when the “attack happens”. The alien monsters hit earth as the woman gets lost in a dust cloud as many including military are being slaughtered everywhere. The breakdown of society goes quickly as the creatures hunt by sound and what’s left of the city’s population hides. In all this chaos and end of the earth shit our young lady Samira just wants a certain slice of pizza from a place in Harlem! This is her story of just surviving long enough to eat her favorite pizza and become friends with someone who is just as lost in the world as her. A lot of prequels make the mistake of being a prequel or easy money for studios making that decision as I am usually not a fan. But this film sets itself apart by telling a story that has nothing to do what horror fans have already seen but keeping it in the same realm. Great story telling, great cast, and made you legit care for the Samira character! This is another example of why I believe there could be countless sequels or prequels to the ‘Puppet Master’ series if Charles Band really wanted too but that is for another horror nerd conversation. Horror movie fans go into this cold without rewatching the other films as you will appreciate this that much more as I gotta give it 3 ½ stars.

The Horror (Blu-ray) – This is an Indy clip show of sorts of a talented handsome young man Jason Crowe who has directed, written, or acted in over 70 films over his career. It is clips from several projects starring Jason that is all over the place with condensed clips of aliens, blood, zombies, time travel and more. Great starter film for fans if they wanted to check out what some of Jason Crowe’s projects are all about as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

Phobo Phobia (Blu-ray) – An anthology hosted by “the final ghoul” herself Jessa Flux as she takes you on a ride through the fear of fear. She shares six tales of fear: fear of clowns, fear of enclosed spaces, fear of witchcraft, fear of burglars, fear of wild animals, and the fear of aliens. All the entries are solid, look great, good cast, and not a bad entry in the bunch but here is the weird thing none of the six really stand out which is something I never thought I would hear  myself saying? This is actually an oddity among the bloated Indy genre of anthologies as all involved should be proud of that as I give this anthology 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Legacy (Blu-ray) – This is a 2009 Indy slasher from Jason Crowe who also directed and stars in it along with a quick appearance from ex-wrestler Al Snow. The film comes screaming out of the gates with blood, boobs, and shaky cam to set the tone in the first few minutes. Of course a few friends head out to the woods for some camping and partying so when the story of the ‘Reaper’ killers is told that is when this mess of a movie really switches gears with buckets of blood and sometimes hilarious content. The film doesn’t overdue it all with its 61 minute running time, cool casting of Indy vets Katie Stewart, Roni Jonah, and Jim O’Rear, and the hilarious reshoot edits that have been edited in at certain points. It might be a clear mess of an Indy slasher but it is a very lovable and memorable one worth seeking out as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Amityville Turkey Day (Tubi) – Yinz can thank me later as this is entry #63 and a direct sequel to ‘Amityville Thanksgiving’. The sequel is still following the missteps of Dr. Frank Domonico and his missing patients who has become the talk of the town of Amityville. A so-called filmmaker Rocco has one last chance to make a film for a small studio and it will be a mockumentary about the good doctor taking advantage of the couples on Thanksgiving. They set up in the doctor’s house for filming of the project but also they are sent a package containing a puppet mutant turkey that lurks around set. When the mutant turkey ain’t possessing people it is trying to eat them. This all sounds like a fun mess to watch until you get about halfway through and feel like they just got lost in their own project as scenes of conversations just linger for way too long to pad the feature film. You didn’t need to pad it folks… you are making a sequel to a legit letdown of a holiday film and you introduced a mutant puppet turkey!!! This could have been so much more fun but once again the trailer is so much better than the finished project as I can only give this entry 1 out of 4 stars.

Motivational Growth (DVD) – Ian is a depressed man who all but just lives in his apartment like a hermit until he comes to the conclusion it is time to commit suicide in the bathroom. In his failed attempt Ian slips and smacks his head off the tub to knock his ass out only he wakes to a big glob of mold in the corner talking to him. Oh by the way the mold is voiced by Jeffrey Combs who begins to converse with Ian and give him advice. Ian believing this isn’t too weird eventually is convinced to eat a piece of the mold and that is when the weird stuff really happens! As the hallucinations continue and bodies pile up Ian falls deeper into the mold’s world. Is Ian dead? Did Ian dream everything? Or is it Groundhog Day for Ian? This weird tale will leave you with more questions of what you watched but you will enjoyed you did as I give this 3 stars.

Black Mold (Tubi) – A thriller of sorts or at least the setup of one as two photographers go take pictures of abandoned places for their art. Things are going well until they enter a mysterious old government facility called Franklin Hill where the two get great pictures until they encounter a hobo. The crazed hobo knocks them out until he can figure if “they” have sent them to take him away? It becomes a slow downward spiral into the two friends trying to figure out how to get back home but instead become combative. If you enjoy slow building and crazy this will be the thriller for you but for me this left me wanting a little more but that may have been the plan of this feature all along as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Convent (4K/Blu-ray) – So finally making its way to the new physical format for horror fans is this wonderfully perfect horror film that put the name Mike Mendez on the tip of most horror fans in 2000. In 1960 a young woman Christine returns to a boarding school she attended to completely destroy nuns and a priest that took her baby that causes the shutdown of the convent. Some college kids 40 years later of course feel the need to break in to party and see if it’s really haunted?! The cops show up to chase the young people out and we are led to believe a young lady who is on parole is hiding but kidnapped by a demon only to find out it is a group of Satanists who are trying to sacrifice a virgin? No cops around so the kids decide to break back in only to raise the demons from hell that have waited for them along with amateur Satanists as complete gory chaos ensues. One girl survives the demon possessed gorefest and she must get an older Christine to help put an end to the demons that never rest. After Christine sets the legend straight she agrees to go and put this to a final end as every five years or so these demons keep looking for a virgin?! Extras for this beauty include: uncut version of the film, audio commentary from cast and crew, another commentary from “the lords of hell”, video tour of locations, original press kit, deleted scene, gore outtakes and more. This film gives off that joyful ‘Night of the Demons’ and ‘Evil Dead’ vibe that is just priceless and made horror fans be excited for any Mike Mendez project that came after the 2000 feature as I give this 4 out of 4 stars. You can purchase the 4k version at www.synapsefilms.com of course.

Killers (Blu-ray) – This 1996 low budget feature is the debut film of Mike Mendez and features the James Brothers who killed their parents. This of course sends the brothers to Deathrow as they killed them in cold blood until one stormy night the high profile duo escape prison. The duo knocks on a door of a perfect family home only to hold them up at gun point and hide from authorities. The duo bound the father and weirdly finds out the wife and daughters are huge fans of the murderous brothers which turns this thriller upside down. The James Brothers believe they are in a safe place until the story takes a strange turn as authorities going door to door to find them causes the family to show they have secrets of their own (example: Castle Freak shit going down). This feels like a weird dream sequence mash up of 90s movie violence splashed together into a 96 minute package? The extras for this Blu-ray include: uncut version of the movie, a director’s commentary, and an alternate ending which might be the most interesting thing of this project because it shows how important editing is and how editing can effect a tone of a movie… Definitely not the usual low budget horror stuff from the 90s you would expect as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and be purchased at www.synapsefilms.com .

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #646

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Longlegs (On Demand) – Another horror film starring Nic Cage but under a lot of makeup, set in the 90s, and… he is a serial killer known as ‘Longlegs’ or a cultist? Right out of the gate this film gets real creepy in the first couple minutes giving ‘Silence of the Lambs’ vibes that first time I watched Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lector in the early 90s! From there we are introduced to a young FBI Special Agent Harker who you wouldn’t exactly call psychic but gets a feeling as she is brought in on this long standing “Longlegs” case where on the 14th a family is murdered. First thought to be just murders by the father figure but things just never set right with the FBI especially with Longlegs sending them incoherent coded messages. The daughter in the family is always the target of Longlegs; her birthday is on the 14th every time as Harker is able to read the coded messages. Harker gets thrown into this unsolvable case mess as FBI finds out their special agent Harker was visited by Longlegs as a child and survived for an unknown reason. No matter what it comes too it is about “Hail Satan”! Trying not to give too much away about this super weird but entertaining as hell film. The further I got away from watching this feature the more I like it and want to go back for a rewatch sooner than later. You gotta enjoy when a film just gives you unsettling creepy vibes from beginning to end as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Bloody Birthday (Blu-ray) – So finally upgraded to the 88 Films Blu-ray version of this 1980 brutal killer kid classic where all three kids were born at the same time. Now together the three begin killing people for their tenth birthday! There is no way a film like this would be made today but still fun to watch. The Blu-ray which looks just outstanding all cleaned up has some cool goodies to go with this horror classic: UK exclusive commentary, interview with actress Lori Lethin and director Ed Hunt, and a brief history of slasher films segment. So go check out possibly the best killer film put out there as I give this wonderful package 4 stars.

Deer Camp ’86 (Blu-ray) – Six guys from Detroit head into country land of Michigan for deer hunting season. The six get occupied at Murphy’s bar where a lot of hunters and locals drink up before the start of hunting season. An incident happens behind the bar with a local woman that causes the sheriff to go out and check on hunters to prevent “another bear attack” at Lake Manitou. Very quickly the supernatural becomes involved as this group of hunters begins their hunting season as strange things begin to happen to them. Thinking nothing of it until their first kill is stolen and they see something in the woods that is when the group decides: do they flee or stand their ground to fight whatever this thing is? I enjoy the setup of the sheriff saying “the sins of the land will get you”. The deer tick in the ballsack scene was hilarious. But overall this tale of the supernatural seeking revenge in 1986 is a solid bad ass horror flick as I give it 3 stars.

Spider Baby (Blu-ray/remake) – This is going to be an unpopular opinion but I thought the film was pretty good. Dustin Ferguson writes and directs the “maddest story ever told” or now retold. Just like the original a couple of distant relatives come sniffing around the Merrye estate to see what they can lay claim too. Meanwhile the caretaker Bruno has been the one to take care of the mentally unstable adult children who refuse to go quietly let’s say. It isn’t a frame by frame remake like ‘Psycho’ but Dustin does his best to bring out of the cast what the originals were able to do back in the late 60s. I believe Ferguson puts just enough of his own touch in this for fans of the original to enjoy. Also kudos to the cast as they had a hard act to follow as I thought all involved should be applauded no matter how you feel about this picture. Now the only bad thing I can say about this film besides I was never a huge fan of the original is I hope Dustin understood a film like this just doesn’t fit into today’s standards but I believe that was said about the original that gained a loyal cult following as the years went on as I give this feature 3 stars.

Worst Laid Plans (Blu-ray) – A three tale anthology based on a Grindhouse Press book that has three known Indy filmmakers taking on vacation horror. The first tale deals with an underground creature in a cave which I absolutely love the whole setup. The second tale is a little more serious with road tripping friends concerned with a young girl on a RV that they follow and find something they weren’t expecting. The third tale is all about paranoia as a father recording his family vacation feels they are being followed. All three are solid but felt the third lasted a little longer than it should have but understood what they were trying to establish just felt if it would have been a little shorter it would have fit better into the theme as I give the film 3 stars.

Cocaine Werewolf (On Demand) – This werewolf flick from Mark Polonia and Sterling Entertainment jumps into it quickly, as a hairy hungry beast attacks an Only Fans model and her manager in a bloody manner. Meanwhile, Jack catches an Uber because he needs to be in New York immediately but his Uber driver got the poops! Pulling over at an odd warehouse Jack decides to go looking in on the driver only to find cocaine on the floor then attacked by a werewolf. Now turning into this bloodthirsty creature Jack still has the urge to do cocaine which goes into why he doesn’t change into a werewolf when the moon is full? As Jack cannot find his way out of this backwoods town he runs into a small movie production that doesn’t help his situation. This Indy flick is quite entertaining, piles up the bodies quickly, and doesn’t try reinventing the werewolf film but quite enjoyed Jack’s addiction is what cause his changes more often. Plus Tim Hatch as the killer clown of the Indy film production inside the movie steals a few scenes that with his hilarious unintentional behavior! This production might have been a little late to the ‘Cocaine Bear’ thing, but between Tim Hatch having a couple fall to the floor laughable scenes and Polonia keeping it simple makes this film a satisfying entertaining treat for werewolf film fans as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Head Case (DVD) – Detective Stam is thrown what is called a ‘no-brainer’ case which means its open and shut for this “not the brightest bulb of the bunch” cop so he can get credit for closing it. The case deals with a young beautiful woman named Vivian Lonbradge who is attacked by a crazed man and bitten in the leg. When authorities arrive the man is found dead in her yard and through questioning found out there is no rape, just an odd bite on the leg. As the detective believes it is all but over with and just wasting time as Vivian begins to act strangely and all the vodka and water she drinks is not helping her. After another body is found by some kids Detective Stam decides it is time to really put this case to bed but it only gets even more odd from there as Ms. Lonbradge is slowly declining and attacking people! After some tests come back the detective is told it is some kind of bacterial infection of the brain that causes severe brain damage as he now becomes worrisome of Vivian and needs to check in on her. This quite odd Indy production is purely awesome and just quite exciting because it is hard to pin down what exactly it is: zombie film, horror film, or thriller? But also I am trying to decide what has the bigger impact on this feature being such an interesting oddity: is it Aleen Isley’s over the top fun performance or all the supporting cast from the cops to those who Vivian worked with? I gotta give this overall great product 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #645

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Alien: Romulus (Theater) – So this installment takes place about twenty years after the original Nostromo blowing up and a space research mission picks up the remains of the explosion. Now floating unmanned in space and about to crash into the rings of a terraformed planet with no sunlight some young folks get an idea of escaping the life term of dangerous work of going to salvage the cryotubes from the dead space station. They fly up and connect with the dead craft to explore and be in and out but it all goes wrong when they have to go hit the research lab? This is where the story literally tries to incorporate every ‘Alien’ film ever made in one way or another… Now saying that what is funny this might be the first entry you may not need to watch the others to understand what is going on? The film gives us a bit of everything including the dreaded Ripley Scott’s vision of Prometheus which is for a different conversation but doesn’t belong to this? Bottom line fans of this franchise there should be an entry every 16 to 18 months like the ‘Puppet Master’ series. Problem is Ridley Scott needs to let go or do we all forget he claimed “to be done with the series in the 80s” until 20th Century Fox came calling with their check book and wanting a sequel to ‘Blade Runner’? Or do all yinz horror fans forget that shit? Another conversation for another time (GIMME NEIL Bolmkamp’s vision of the real “Alien 3”), sorry this movie opens that door for me to bitch! Anyhow don’t pay too much attention to the Prometheus shit as this movie was good but not great but worthy of rewatching several times because they got it right! I give it 3 stars now please give me a series of films with the Colonial Marines and yes my photo is on a recent Aliens comic… Go check I am not lying!

Zombies Invade Pittsburg (Vimeo) – This movie is so rare it took someone (Ninja Master Dan Komarek) digging  around archive.org and someone who posted this once watched Public TV movie posted on Vimeo to make me aware and for me explain to both parties this is most likely a Florida film? Long story kids… From Jess Turner productions and released in 1996 but actually made in 1988 after much research by me it is not a Pittsburgh, Pa., zombie flick. First, yinz forget the “H” n’at at the end of Pittsburgh, Pa., which is a dead giveaway along with the palm trees but let’s move on. A barrel of unknown goo is leaking into the waterways and the police are baffled of how it got there or what it could be? After a few phone calls and long scenes of the sheriff talking to people making himself look important he finds out it’s entirely the government’s fault that cleans it up quickly. But for the love of Rutger Hauer it is too late as the goo has leeched into the waterways and cemeteries and the dead are rising. The film has some blood but most of the film is shot too dark for a lot of the zombie scenes, along with no real ending after 88 minutes but still fun for weird nostalgia reasons as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Rejected (YouTube) – This short film from Rene Riva Productions is an interesting one as they made an anthology into 15 minutes with a ‘VHS’ vibe. It is late November 1997 at the Sonu Studios and a couple of TV hosts are showing the rejected ads for the new Sonu digital camera that takes floppy disk. The characters in these ads that use the new advanced camera face certain death! Plain and simple this is 15 minutes of horror awesomeness done right as I give this short film project 4 out of 4 stars.

Killer Campout II (DVD) – Brad Twigg and folks head back to the woods a few years later for this sequel to give Indy horror fans a supernatural slasher. It is 1990 and Camp Phoenix has reopened for an open minded camp counselor guru who wants troubled teenagers to find themselves while camping at Camp Phoenix. But three dysfunctional misfits decide it’s a good idea to dig up the corpse of a serial killer, Blackwell, to perform a satanic ritual and of course that won’t go bad? Once raised from the grave the evil force known as Blackwell wastes no time to slaughter all in his woods! A very solid Indy cast that seems to fit their roles and are not just throw-ins, a good amount of gore, and some awkward sex scenes to satisfy the slasher formula for viewers. But if I was to point out something I would love to see this edited down to about 78 minutes instead of its 93 minute running time as a few scenes linger a little too long at times but still gotta give this sequel 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Babezilla vs. The Cyber Skanks: Rise of the Mecha Babezilla (DVD) – Please check your brain at the door before watching as Hojbob Productions wants to make sure you are in for a roller coaster ride of sleaze! The latest from filmmaker Andrew J. Chambers where you know exactly what you are in for immediately as the movie opens with a hilarious disclaimer. The main plot of this sleaze is creepy corporate types wanna turn beautiful young ladies into robotic skanks to fight their nemesis “Babezilla”. They are tired of her kicking their ass with her laser shooting titties! So when Babezilla isn’t fighting zombies or doing terrible porn she likes to do meet and greets to meet her fans. There is where the Cyber Skanks try to tackle the superhero for good but fail only to have Babezilla track them down to their evil lair. If you like sleaze, great casting of Indy stars (Jessa Flux, Kelsey Livengood, Clint Beaver, and Ginger Lynn), bad taste, and a kung fu master (?) known as Master Beta? Then yinz are in for a gringe worthy treat in another adventure of Babezilla as I give this hilarious project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Die, Daisy, Die! (DVD) – Mark Mackner returns to a long running character of his creation named Daisy Derkins (four features and a short film). After the much loved superhero Daisy defeats a lizard person she wants to settle down a bit and open a comic book shop. But hey let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves as Daisy understands there is no guarantee running a business and takes up a second job with the new shady dating app everyone is using in town called “DateGo”. The app is all the rage but it is all to help financials of the humanoid lizards and their attempts to stop the great Daisy Derkins and her amazing superhero antics. The humanoid lizards come up with a convoluted plan to go back in time with another villain “The Dawn Avenger” to not kill Daisy but to rewrite history for they won’t have to lose to her again in their fight to take over the world. Meanwhile Daisy is just worried what it is like to be interviewed on Public Access TV for her grand opening of her new comic book shop. This is like some weird alternate universe Troma film from the late 90s but hey look at that Lloyd Kaufman shows up to play himself and throw off the weird timeline of a serial killer returning to the present with the lizard creatures and Daisy as she must stop them all. Did you understand all that because I am still trying too as I give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #644

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Quadrant (Full Moon) – Charles Band is back in the director’s chair again with a movie that deals with AI and if yinz seen ‘Aimee: The Visitor’ then fans will quite enjoy this computerized treat. The film revolves around two professors who have come up with a revolutionary process called “Quadrant”. A process that no one has funded yet but they believe using their experimental helmet and computers hooked to a person’s brain and connected to an AI world that allows said person to get past their mental issues or get past the fears that haunt them. They mean well with their Quadrant universe firmly believing this will help patients embrace and defeat their fears but it needs volunteers? In comes Erin, a beautiful young woman who is extremely obsessed with Jack the Ripper! She hears of the experiment and wants to be a part of it. Erin is different from the other patients as she does not fear being a part of the universe as she wants to live it, feel it, and live in it. With each treatment Erin embraces Quadrant that much more blurring the lines of reality and the Jack the Ripper AI world she wants to be in. It quickly becomes too late when you cannot decide who is more demented: Erin wanting to murder to feel like the famous serial killer she obsesses over or the professors knowing what Erin is capable of as they have experienced this side effect before? Quadrant is absolutely another entertaining project under the direction of Charles Band. Band has embraced filming in and around Cleveland, Ohio with a small casts, interesting concepts, and the cool vibe of Full Moon finding their second or third wind in bringing fans fun Full Moon projects they want to see as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

Cemetery Man (Blu-ray) – For most horror movie fans this 1994 Italian classic from Michele Soavi is known as Dellamorte Dellamore but for American fans the name was changed to Cemetery Man when it landed in the U.S. Well Severin Films you went and did it!!! They put together one hell of Blu-ray package of the classic as for some horror fans they declare it to be the last great Italian horror film? It has been a good many of years since I last watched it as I still had my grainy bootleg unrated version. By some chance you were living under a rock and have never heard of this perfectly hilarious zombie film let’s dig into it. Dellamorte and his assistant are employed at the cemetery to take care of “the returners”. Dellamorte believes it could be end of the world but the select few in the village know this is an important job that could only be done by Dellamorte. Simply he is in charge of putting the dead back in their graves after rising from the dead. Blow to the head every time! Things get real interesting when Dellamorte meets an absolutely beautiful woman only known as “She” after burying her older husband and falling in love as she dies suddenly also. Dellamorte begins killing more of the living than the dead without repercussions and keeps running into different versions of his former love. This zombie film is super bizarre and beautiful at the same time as it balances between love story and hardcore zombie film that feels like a weird fever dream at times. The music, the colors, the music were all made for this to get the special treatment for horror fans to enjoy. But also it is loaded with extras: commentary with Michele Soavi and Gianni Romoli, interviews with Rupert Everett, Michele Soavi, and Anna Falchi along with a cool archival makin of segment. This is Severin Films crown jewel of their catalog is a must own for horror fans as I give it 4 stars.

Once Upon a Time in Amityville (On Demand) – Welcome kids to entry #62 of the Amityville series as Mark Polonia this time around sets it in 1846 when all the horror began and Amityville just became a town. Mr. Polonia calls on the usual suspects to come in and help (Jeff Kirkendall and Tim Hatch who are two of the many Polonia suspects) as two bounty hunters come upon a new town of Amityville looking for a wanted man they believe tried to hide in town? Immediately the bounty hunters are a little unsettled as the town seems a little strange but unsure why. Once they learn the criminal they had been tracking was strung up for a crime (or evil sacrifice) in town they must deal with a town that believes in evil. Compared to a lot of the entries this was actually kind of refreshing but will say the old west was never this clean but gotta give Polonia and crew credit for finding a great location to use for the film. Surprisingly entry #62 is a solid watch and believe Indy horror fans more than mainstream horror fans will quite enjoy the fresh take as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

I Puke on Your Grave (VHS) – An hour long movie that has random scenes of murder from horror films that you may or may not have seen? Not totally sure what this project was going for as there was no horror host or ‘Faces of Death’ aspect to it as I can only give it a ½ star.

Lowlifes (Tubi) – A simple story of an average family on their annual corny road trip in the old RV who runs into two backwoods types. Before you say “I have seen this before” they try to make it very uncomfortable like this average family is gonna get raped or murdered or both in the first 15 minutes? But hold on a second there is car trouble and we the viewer quickly learn the tables are turned in this project as the average family from L.A. are vicious cannibal bastards! I quite enjoyed this take on a genre or cliché that has maybe seen its better days so thank you for this as I gotta give this project 3 stars.

Cookies for Christmas (DVD) – This short film is a wonderful take on mixing horror and the Hallmark movie formula as Lacey a young woman returns from the big city to little town Christmas time. Unbeknownst to Lacey and the small fictional holiday town are about to get a horrific visit from Santa Claus! Filmmaker Adam Raynes who is behind the project may have something here in this Hallmark inspired horror as he understood all the ugly cute holiday plot points. Kudos hitting on all these main plot points of a Hallmark holiday film as I believe you may wanna take a second crack at expanding this short film into something bigger but just as fun as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Only Ones (DVD) – First off I gotta give credit for the misdirection of this film as a character tells the story of Boneface trying to scare friends as they travel to a secluded cabin in the woods. Six friends just trying to scare the shit out of each other, drink beer, and enjoy quiet time in nature. But once shrooms are introduced that is where it all goes downhill for the group as someone is shot by accident. The friends try to discuss and clean up the mess but fight over if authorities should be involved as it just snowballs from one thing to another. There is solid structure to this film as it plays out more like a thriller than a straight up horror film. This feels like something that may get a small cult following on a streaming platform sooner than later as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Guerrilla Dogs (DVD) – Another BPO Films project from Blake O’Donnell that just had me laughing a lot because it stars the present day Indy version of the “Three Stooges” with a little more thoughtfulness in storytelling from Blake O’Donnell, Ben Dietels, and Ryan Lintner. Their unique style is once again on display as they are “The Keepers of the Cause” and holding a man captive for ransom as he could be important for “The Effect”. These weekend warrior types believe they are doing right by hiding out in the woods and keeping Mr. Money captive. The films runs a little long but the boys go from one hilarious scenario to the next as they try to live off the land and keep this man until they get their ransom. Literally this is one of those movies you never heard of but would be happy when you did as you witness the hilarity as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

BPO Films Mixtape Volume 2 (DVD) – The three ultra talented dudes (Ben Dietels, Ryan Lintner, and Blake O’Donnell) made a series of short films over the years that deal with garbage, thumb wars, sex, realtors, a pizza guy, drinking on St. Patrick’s Day, etc. The fun never stops with these guys as it seems they are constantly filming something so get ready to laugh your ass off as I give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Attack of the Corn Zombies (DVD) – It is the 1960s in a small Midwest town where they are having their annual corn festival. This past year some folks used an experimental fertilizer on the crops to help them grow faster but really didn’t do as advertised. But unbeknownst to the townsfolk all the corn was contaminated by this new stuff. Quickly after ingesting the corn people become zombies who attack those who haven’t. Now a small group of folks are just trying to survive the corn zombies so they can get out of town. I enjoyed this Indy zombie film as the first key was they understood “you are not reinventing the zombie genre”. Second key of this film being entertaining was I enjoyed the corn growing out of the infected… that was really a nice touch that some may never would have given a second look. Third key was having a solid Indy cast that felt like everyone was casted correctly. The film had a vibe of the 70s cult film ‘Toxic Zombies’ meeting Jim Roberts’ ‘Welcome to Deer Creek’ as I gotta give this Indy zombie project 3 out of 4 stars.

Air Fryer Slaughter (DVD) – The Matthew Mark Hunter and Matt Skinner project about a killer air fryer is finally out there for horror fans to enjoy. It is the simple story of an air fryer going rogue for not much reason other than it is hungry for human flesh and … apparently sex? The film is full of Indy names and hilarious infomercials as the air fryer hops around town after it murders someone. As the bodies pile up the cops refuse to believe its prime suspect would be an air fryer as it slaughters its way through most of the cast. When the appliance isn’t killing someone or giving a blowjob, the air fryer is trying to help sell merch ‘Evil Bong’ style! Even though the film gives off that ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ vibe it does run 20 to 25 minutes way to long like the film ‘Rubber’ (movie about a killer car tire) and felt like it gets away from what the film was supposed to be about halfway through. Just my opinion but I gotta give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Bed Bugs (DVD) – A Matthew Mark Hunter project from 2021 where a group of children head out for some trick or treating. At each house they get a scary story as Matthew and crew check all the boxes as the kids get to hear about the boogeyman, zombies, a kid seeking revenge, the devil, and vampires. This is a nice project to introduce some of the younger crowd to Indy horror as I give this film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Review for Charles Band’s latest project “Quadrant”

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Quadrant (Full Moon) – Charles Band is back in the director’s chair again with a movie that deals with AI and if yinz seen ‘Aimee: The Visitor’ then fans will quite enjoy this computerized treat. The film revolves around two professors who have come up with a revolutionary process called “Quadrant”. A process that no one has funded yet but they believe using their experimental helmet and computers hooked to a person’s brain and connected to an AI world that allows said person to get past their mental issues or get past the fears that haunt them. They mean well with their Quadrant universe firmly believing this will help patients embrace and defeat their fears but it needs volunteers? In comes Erin, a beautiful young woman who is extremely obsessed with Jack the Ripper! She hears of the experiment and wants to be a part of it. Erin is different from the other patients as she does not fear being a part of the universe as she wants to live it, feel it, and live in it. With each treatment Erin embraces Quadrant that much more blurring the lines of reality and the Jack the Ripper AI world she wants to be in. It quickly becomes too late when you cannot decide who is more demented: Erin wanting to murder to feel like the famous serial killer she obsesses over or the professors knowing what Erin is capable of as they have experienced this side effect before? Quadrant is absolutely another entertaining project under the direction of Charles Band. Band has embraced filming in and around Cleveland, Ohio with a small casts, interesting concepts, and the cool vibe of Full Moon finding their second or third wind in bringing fans fun Full Moon projects they want to see as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

Gross Movie Reviews #642

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They Call Me Bruce? (DVD) – A 1982 comedy that would be seen as a politically incorrect film these days more than the comedy it was playing as on the early cable channels in the early 80s. An Asian man who keeps being mistaken for Bruce Lee wants to make his way to New York? As much as the young man would love to be like his hero Bruce Lee the man knows nothing of the martial arts. The man Bruce after a hilarious series of scenarios finds himself working for the mob but making his way to New York. The delivery boy as he is known as for the mob keeps finding himself in a series of ridiculous events as he makes his way to New York and mind you the FBI is also involved. The movie has many laughs of a time that is now forgotten as there is no way this film would be made today as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Cicada! (DVD) – This low budget flick keeps it a simple “creature feature” as a once legendary baseball player now disgraced and retired finds himself fighting giant cicadas! The former ball player hooks up with a small group of people who run around town killing the mutant cicadas. The film is silly, dumb, but holy hell it was entertaining enough for me as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Crocodylus: Mating Season (On Demand) – For those who may not remember the terrible first feature? It has produced a sequel that goes away from being serious in Peaceful Creek, Florida where the creature still lives! This recent urban legend is back and snacking on boaters and swimmers again but there is more to it this time. A young lady Allie Glades hires a P.I. Harry Bates to seek out her brother Mark who had disappeared. He was very sick and started an experimental drug to help cure him then that is when he disappeared. As Allie and Bates investigate they soon find themselves in something much bigger in this spoof? The experiment was meant to cure cancer is more of just turning a human into a monster that feeds on fish then humans. There are hilarious jokes throughout like Harry Bates ex-wife became a professional Hide and Seek player who he could never find… For that I give this film 2 ½ stars for throwing something different out there than the usual follow up.

Mausoleum (Blu-ray) – This 1983 film is just a complete wild ride that I know I have seen once before and have completely forgotten and not totally sure why? Anyhow a young girl loses her mother at the age of ten and must go live with her aunt. Instead she goes crying through a graveyard until she comes upon a mausoleum called ‘Nomed’ where she becomes possessed but doesn’t remember it. Twenty years pass and Suzie gets the sudden urge to get naked anytime men are around, have sex with them, and make their heads explode! If that wasn’t enough hilarious weirdness… look for the odd gardener who plays with his belly button constantly. Susan’s husband Oliver suspects something and gets Susan’s doctor involved only to learn the doctor may have knew Susan had been possessed for years. While this goes on Susan’s powers grow and there is some weird thing that may help separate her from the demon if they can put a crown of thorns on her? There is just a fuck ton of weirdness here that I am glad I rewatched and will again sometime soon as I give it 3 stars.

Paganini Horror (DVD) – It is Italian, Luigi Cozzi made it, and Donald Pleasence plays the devil? Yes kids I am in! I feel you don’t need to know anything else but I will review it anyway as apparently some musical dude sold his soul to the devil 200 years ago and his unproduced song has gotten into a singer’s hands to make a huge video called “Paganini Horror”. Kate and her manager set up the video to begin filming only to accidentally conjure the spirit of Paganini… I think? The movie doesn’t make a ton of sense but it’s bloody and Italian so yinz will love it as I give it 3 stars.

Curtains for Christmas (Blu-ray) – Great, just what we need another holiday film of goodness! But this isn’t just your usual Hallmark happy holiday festive bullcrap as director/co-writer Steve Rudzinski and co-writer Aileen Isley craft a tale of holiday terror about a young woman Holly who just wants Christmas to be perfect like her favorite holiday film. The film goes for the holiday throat in no time as Holly kills her boyfriend of eight months because he refuses to spend the holiday with her and won’t introduce Holly to his parents. (Absolutely love Holly chowing on the block of cheese depressingly watching her favorite holiday film). The murder is only the beginning as Holly now has conversations with an imaginary holiday rodent who is giving her advice as she believes there is still time for her to have the perfect Christmas like her favorite film. So why not go kill your way to having the perfect holiday where you fall in love, have a family, and it’s the greatest Christmas tale ever told. That is when she meets Jay and she puts her killing spree I mean plan into action. Everything from the gingerbread house contest to the fake kidnapped family for Holly makes this beyond entertaining and ends in a huge bloody mess of course. So grab the milk and cookies, and possibly a sharp knife to stab I mean to have with your loved one while watching this sick holiday treat as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Demons (4K Ultra HD) – By now in your life if you are a horror movie fan, especially one that grew up in the 80s you know of this classic film. The project from Lamberto Bava and Dario Argento has people invited to a secret screening of a film that seems to be a great idea to check out until… all hell breaks loose. Just like the film they are watching a mask scratches a character and they begin to change. Same thing happens to a patron before the screening and once the movie plays all the movie goers are trapped in hell by these crazed blood thirsty demons! Chaos, gore, and non-stop drooling demons seeking out any living being make this film a horror fan’s dream. This new transfer just pops off screen and will make horror movie fans really think “Now is a good time to pick up that 4K player.” This collection has a card inside that is the movie ticket for the theater explaining the transfer but also the disc has three different versions of the film, a couple commentaries with Bava and cast, a segment on Dario Argento producing the film, archival special features that is everything and anything ‘Demons’ related from different versions released over the years, along with different audio tracks for the commentaries. So there are few 4K films that impress me but this  just jump off the TV at you from frame one and has more than enough ‘Demons’ related stuff to keep you busy for the next day in a half as I give this absolute beauty 4 out of 4 stars as it is available at www.synapsefilms.com .

Demons 2 (4K Ultra HD) – It worked the first time so why not in a high rise building? Again if you are a hardcore horror movie fan you know all about the sequel just trying to up the violence and drooling demons running through the hallways of an apartment building slicing and dicing any human! And again just like the first film in 4K the sequel just jumps off the screen with its bright colors. Can’t complain the amount of gore, goo, and demons they throw this time around especially with its crazy ass ending. The disc has two different versions of the sequel, a commentary from Travis Crawford, a very interesting segment with author and critic Alexandra Heller-Nicholas discussing both ‘Demons & Demons 2’, more fun archival special features for the horror nerds, along with a couple trailers, and a couple Italian audio tracks and subtitles. Having both of these titles on 4K reminds when the ‘Alien: Quadrilogy’ set was released. So much cool shit to comb through that you just hope to get the flu and stay home from work for three days so you could get through everything ‘Demons’ as like the first film I gotta give this 4 out of 4 stars and it is available at www.synapsefilms.com .

Cold Blows the Wind (On Demand) – A dark thriller stars the talented Jamie Bernadette while Dean and Tasha is a couple who were celebrating Tasha’s birthday where they just happen to run over a man on their way to an isolated family cottage. As the couple fight over exactly what they should do which it becomes apparent not to call authorities the victim tries to escape. Dean stabs the man dead or at least he believes and their fate is sealed as they agree to bury the body and clean up their mess. But the night is about to get weird as they hear a knock at the door from a young frighten woman who knows too much? Briar has come to make a deal as the night continues to get more bizarre with her appearance and the couple questioning their own relationship. The film is a fun strange evil twist of fate that will make you think about the plot quite often after viewing the film. My only complaint of the film is if ‘Don’t Kill It’ doesn’t exist I believe I would have enjoyed the ending more? Or never quite explaining the reasoning of what was happening to the couple I may have like this thriller a little more. Overall the movie has enough scary tension that should satisfy the horror fan looking for a little more evil plot than just blood and guts as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #642

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Cruel Summer (Blu-ray) – A 2021 Indy flick that has college friends setting out for the summer break to have a 80s murder/mystery weekend party. Of course they have decided in order to be an authentic 80s party they are not taking cell phones??? Let’s stop the review here for a second: When did this become a recent horror movie staple when in reality a 20 year old let alone most 40 year olds cannot let go of their fucking phone?! Okay back to the review… Anyhow six friends make it to this summer property that just happens to be a site of a murder spree sometime in the past. It isn’t too long before a mystery killer picks up a leftover invite for the party at the property and pays a visit. But we the viewer quickly learn this was planned from the start. Instead of being an interesting Indy slasher it turns into a mostly incoherent forgettable horror film as I can only give this 1 star.

Sequel: Cruel Summer II (Blu-ray) – Two years later survivors of the 80s murder/mystery tour try to move on with their lives? Some are doing better than the others but all learn that one of them has chosen to put together a play about the tragic weekend. As most of the survivors believed their main menace ‘Gunnar’ was dead but his body was never found by the police. Now getting ready to attend the play in support of their friend, bodies are piling up around them again! The sequel at least felt like it had more direction but for what exactly not totally sure as a play about a killing spree of friends being put on two years later really doesn’t make for an exciting sequel as I got to give this 1 star also.

The Menu (On Demand) – Now you know me as sometimes I don’t always watch the popular films when they first get released as my reviewing habits are always all over the place. But I was asked recently to talk about this film for a podcast and felt like a jagoff soon as I finished watching it because I knew whatever I was gonna say it isn’t going to be good enough for the fans of this film because plain and simple “this isn’t the film for me”. With that out of the way what we have here is the ‘elite’ or ‘privileged’ pay top dollar for an exclusive meal served on an isolated island. Once there a character Margo, a date of a foodie who supposedly knows all about high class dining questions everything. Well it could be because the chef is considered a genius and has everything planned out along with staff following him like a cult. The chef strives for perfection and if that means beating a couple attendees, cutting fingers off, proving a point of having someone under pressure to cook so they can fail so be it. But his grand plan or suicide cult pact is to have everyone there on the island die because it is all about the experience! But Margo throws him off because she doesn’t belong but unlike the others attending she finds a way to challenge the chef as he respects this. Well casted film with an enjoyable ending but I was really hoping someone was gonna get fucking eaten during this film as I give it 3 stars.

Bull Shark 2 (Tubi) – Some time has passed since the shark attacks in a Texas lake that had game warden Spencer left to solve them. But now retired and drunk he is seeked out by a mother who has lost her daughter on a lake that people are not supposed to be on. New mayor and sheriff are trying to restart the town as it has been hit hard with no tourists after the last film’s events. Spencer after wrestling with his drinking and bad dreams grabs his brother and gets back into action of going to kill another shark. Ten years ago this would have been a “SyFy Channel Shark Week” exclusive, now it is just thrown out there on Tubi without much PR. Right or wrong, the film does a good exploitation of ‘Jaws 2’ with not much budget as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Happy Hour Holocaust 3: The Last Call (DVD) – Indy filmmaking vet Jim Roberts returns with the anthology that has an evil force known only as BarKreep telling stories one last time… maybe? After receiving a special holiday hummer in his truck he tells his new friend a story called ‘Cooking with Roger’ (I have reviewed this short in the past) where an odd older combo are streaming their cooking techniques out there for yinz to watch. Well the two find some strange mushrooms and decide to ingest them. Which you know only bad things can happen from there especially when a weird green elf shows up to convince the two to do some screwed up shit live while their show streams! BarKreep hitchhikes back to his family’s home to tell them a story called ‘Misty’ about a woman who claims to be lost but more than anything just enjoys the company of men… and slaughtering them. (Love the hat wore by one of the characters in this one “Show me that Butthole”.) BarKreep keeps the slaughter fest going and moves down the road to meet up with ‘MOM”! Here he tells a story called ‘Til Death’ about a man brutally killing his wife, cleaning up the mess, and just enjoying his new life. But Cynthia doesn’t let go as easy as she haunts her husband in the most disturbing ways. I have to say Jim Roberts’s mom Karen who plays the character Cynthia looked like she had way too much fun with this role?! If you enjoy serial killers and bloodbaths in your movies this will be the entertainment you need to seek out? I give this Jim Roberts project 3 out of 4 stars. What I find so interesting about this series of anthologies he has done is they feel very different than his stand alone movies like Jim has a different personality when it is time to visit the BarKreep so keep that in mind next time viewing the films of the great Jim Roberts.

Founders Day (DVD) – Oddly enough this is a political horror film that centers on a small town mayoral election that has gotten a little out of control just like our presidential elections. As the town fights and protests over who should be the next mayor a masked killer shows up to start stacking up teenage bodies. But after the supposed killer ‘Adam’ is killed about 50 minutes into the film questions emerge as the killing doesn’t stop causing many in the town to point fingers at each other. I had hope for a different ending, something random as the first few minutes may give this film away which most likely caused this horror film to quickly disappear last year? Also the other thing that hurts this film is the long drawn out teenage drama that dominates instead of being more of a straight up slasher as I can only give this 1 ½ stars.

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Gross Movie Reviews #641

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The First Omen (On Demand) – So they reached deep in the bag on this one… a prequel to a series that started in 1976. I would have loved to be in that pitch meeting especially since the remake failed many years ago. Anyway it is Rome, Italy 1971, where a young woman Sister Maggie who has devoted her life to the church is on her way to taking her vows. The former Father Brennan (the opening scene sets up this character) seeks out Maggie to warn her about a teenager Carlita who is in the orphanage that the church runs and Maggie will be spending her time learning at. The former Father Brennan finally convinces Maggie to meet with him and explain that there is a conspiracy within the church as people have lost faith worldwide? So in order to get people’s faith back let’s bring forth the “Antichrist”! Thus reason for Carlita to be watched carefully as the movie unfolds as she will be an unwilling participate in the birth of the Antichrist. Up until now the church’s plan has failed as there only have been female children as they need a male child. But as Sister Maggie scrambles to “look for the mark” an even darker secret is unveiled to tie all in what the grand plan actual is? To be honest, I am surprised I liked this fucking movie. Prequel to a film series that really ended in the early 80s with ‘The Final Conflict’ (no I do not count part four as that was a super absurd turd)  I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and have that same feeling after watching ‘The Thing’ prequel from like a decade ago or so? But noooooo, this movie felt like it stood on its own, it was surprisingly interesting, bloody as hell, and they tied it into the 1976 classic without it feeling forced like some prequels to other movie series that have come before it. Horror fans solid effort here so give this one a chance as I give it 3 stars.

Scream (DVD) – No, not the more recent series with “Ghostface”. This is the lesser known low budget slasher from the early 80s that probably the last time I seen it was picking up a dusty ass VH box off the bottom rack of the horror section of “Movietime” rental store in like 1988? This focuses on a group of people rafting to an abandoned mining town and setting up camp. Of course overnight someone begins to kill one by one leaving the people to point the fingers at each other? The film can be a little boring with little blood and let’s not forget the odd choice of music that makes this slasher feel at times like a lost “After School Special”. Also too for those who like me that will always have that urge to watch every 80s horror film this film this was also released under the title “The Outing” as I give it 2 stars.

Waspzilla (Waveawesome) – A new Indy film that seem only (for now) got released on another free streaming platform that stars one of the most talked about Indy actors going these days in Angela Bradford, along with Morrigan Thompson, Clint Beaver, and Matt Skinner (way to go dude). Some yahoo shoots a toxic waste barrel causing a wasp to be infected by the toxic mess and of course mutate! A deputy and a rookie (who look like extras from an early Chris Seaver film) are called into action to investigate this horrible thing in the backwoods. When the two are not busy chasing the giant wasp topless the mutated wasp is shooting freakin fire from its ass to annihilate humans. If needed more, literally a sting from this creature makes its victims implode except for the sheriff near the end of the film because you know that is needed for the plot. Yeah the film is full of plot holes, yeah the wasp is completely computerized and only has like three actions other than shooting fire from its ass, yeah wearing those pleather yellow outfits for a deputy and rookie don’t make any sense, but did you know there is a topless housecleaning scene that makes even less sense in the movie? If you are looking for your Indy horror to not make a ton of sense but make you laugh several times I suggest this flick as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

The Lamp (Shudder) – This 1987 feature also known as ‘The Outing’ recently got the Blu-ray treatment and being rediscovered by horror fans on Shudder. For me this was one of those late night “Skinamax” features I always caught on late Friday or Saturday night so of course I have a soft spot for it. Forgive me for only remembering the last 30 minutes of this movie but it is with kids sneaking into a museum after hours to party horror formula. The story begins with degenerates breaking into an old woman’s house finding “the lamp” and unleashing the evil in it causing their deaths. Short time after it ends up at a museum where some kids decide to sneak in after hours to stay overnight to party. Problem is the Djinn has already done its damage and now wants to slaughter the kids before it is forced back into the lamp. A fun but uneven horror film with a cool creature, some fun kills, and a great poster that many older horror fans remember hanging up in the video stores as I give it 3 stars.

Psycho Ape 2! The Wrath of Kong (DVD) – Addison and crew literally come out swinging in this sequel to his no budget hit “Psycho Ape” of leaning into the comedy that much more where the film is a parody of a parody of a parody if that makes any sense at all? It is now supposedly 25 years later and the three main characters Nancy Banana, Dr. Zoomis, and Psycho Ape are all friends trying to live out their exciting lives until it becomes a courtroom drama as Psycho Ape is believed to be killing again. There is a woman who wants Psycho Ape behind bars by any means as the threesome of Nancy, the good doctor, and Psycho Ape are just trying to live their best lives as they reenact several scenes from several movies along the way. Pay attention when they are not ironing the gorilla suit mid-movie they go through a crapload of famous films quickly. This is one of those “check your brain at the door, grab a six pack, and strap yourself in for some laughs” kind of movie. Addison you had me immediately when the kids are trading for the infamous Psycho Ape card and the famous Billy Ripken card is mentioned. There is so much going on in this film it will literally take viewers two or three times to truly understand how cool this project actually is? Now saying that and looking at Addison’s films leading up to this it leaves me asking Indy fans an important question: Is Addison Binek possibly the next Lloyd Kaufman as he continues to build his young career? While you think on that this sequel is an absolute rolling on the ground, laughing until tears run down your face comedy I give 4 out of 4 stars too!

Fatal Games (DVD) – Some young athletes at a special school for training for nationals and hopefully the Olympics find themselves being stalked by an unknown killer. Yeah all the athletes are very competitive and banging each other’s brains out but this killer only uses a javelin to kill their victims even it means they must use scuba gear to get a girl in a pool! This slasher is unintentionally hilarious on so many levels making it that much more entertaining. Example: Pay attention to the shower scene? It’s the usual 80s nudity the women are completely nude in the background but when they switch to the men’s showers there is dudes in jock straps getting showers… what am I missing here? Let the dong fly! Let alone that just seems weird wearing your jock strap in the shower (coming from the guy who has taken a beer in the shower with him). A fun old school slasher that is worth the revisit as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Sons of Steel (Shudder) – Thank you Shudder for helping me find more Australian weirdness! This 1988 flick is in the somewhat futuristic land where a rock front man Black Alice runs things but he is also a peace activist. One night a suspicious boat comes into the Sydney harbor while Black Alice is forced into becoming an experimental hologram and released 113 years later in a world that was destroyed by nuclear war. Now Black Alice has ten hours to live which is a side effect of the hologram thingy to find a way back to his time and stop everything from going boom? Think “Repo Genetic Opera” (kind of) decades before it was made might be the best way to describe the weirdness as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Brainjacked (DVD) – Tristan is a young man thrown out on his ass and not sure where to go or what to do? While in a park for the night he is greeted by a beautiful young woman Laney who believes he is a male hooker but once the confusion is concluded she offers to help him. She brings the young man to a place of peace where a doctor helps lost young people by drilling holes into their skulls and giving them relief of whatever bothers them. The good doctor receives the name from the young people as “the gift giver”. Tristan hesitates but eventually gives the okay for the surgery but what seems wonderful at first but unleashes a dark secret the good doctor is hiding. Think of an independent version of ‘The Stepford Wives’ and ‘Disturbing Behavior’ but done better and more intense in my opinion in this exciting sci-fi horror film! Released in 2008/2009 this film to me at least should be talked about as an underground Indy classic as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Prey (DVD) – Like ‘The Outing’ the title ‘Prey’ is used so often as an alternate movie title so you usually find yourself like now describing which movie it is before even talking about the actual film. This one is another lesser known slasher that was made in 1979 but never got released until 1983 about a group of three couples going camping in the North point Mountains. Forest rangers are a little leery of people traveling there since the fires a couple decades back that killed a gypsy family living in a cave. Doesn’t take long for the group to feel someone is watching as it’s revealed late in the film it is disfigured giant of a human with an ax! It doesn’t vary from the slasher formula we all grew up with but also doesn’t overstay its welcome at 80 minutes. There is a longer version out there but I will let you research that as there are varying questions why this film took so long to be released as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!