Tag Archives: Reviews

New episode of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks folks!

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This week Tim and Kyle take a look at a piece of early 80’s scare tactic propaganda in the made for television movie THE DAY AFTER.  And Tim picks the best movie of the French horror wave in INSIDE.  Along with melting old men, assaults on unborn babies, and Belladonna look-a-likes we also get into a list of the worst horror movie directors, chocodiles,  paper routs, making a murderer marathon watching, and deaths, deaths, and more deaths.  So enjoy this episode and PLEASE DON’T DIE!

 

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Episode 191

Gross Movie Reviews #368

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Gross Movie Reviews #368

 

By Tim Gross

 

Deep Blood (YouTube) – Hey, I found a Joe D’Amato shark movie from 1989. A set of young friends make a pact and bury knives in the sand during a bonding experience. Years later the friends are older and forgotten the pact until a generic version of “Jaws” begins to play out and one of their friends is eaten. So they dig up the knives, hire a boat, and vow to kill the shark! Folks its bad, the kinda bad where it would only be good if you are drunk with friends and doing a commentary to it… Wait, I have an idea? Until then I give it 1 star.

 

Android Cop (DVD) – Michael Jai White and Charles Dutton are the latest victims to star in a bootleg version of the “Robocop” remake. Yep, you read that correctly cinema fans. Its 2037 or 2045, trailer and the film conflict so who fucking knows but Mr. White is forced to have a new partner after his old one is killed and it happens to be an android. On a mission for justice of saving the mayor’s daughter the two are screwed over by their department and must go through gang territory to survive. I want the time back that I wasted on watching this flick and I feel horrible for Michael Jai-White for being in this flick. I give the horrible flick 0 stars.

 

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Theater) – Can’t be any worse than the prequels so I was in from the beginning as there is a new disturbance in the force. A new evil wants to pick up where Darth Vader left off and everyone is looking for Luke Skywalker as he just disappeared. I do not want to give too much away because I still feel a movie like this should be experienced. Allow that inner child to escape for two hours. It’s a popcorn flick. Not as good as the original but a lot of fun and a great set up of what is to come. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Man on Fire (VHS/You Tube) – Before Denzel’s remake in 2004 there was this Italian version from 1987 that starred Scott Glenn. The film also based on the book is about a former CIA agent John Creasy, who is hired to project a young teenage girl. With the parents not around much he becomes best friends with her and soon cares about her when he did not want too. The film also stars Joe Pesci, Brooke Adams, Danny Aiello, and Jonathan Pryce. The film is kinda middle of the road as it never seems to get off the ground in the excitement department but still interesting enough story that keeps you watching till the end of the film. I give it 2 stars.

 

Goodnight Mommy (On Demand) – A German/Austria film about a mom coming home to her boys or boy. Hard to explain but you figure it out within the first thirty seconds. But anyway mom comes home after surgery and the boys claim it’s not their real mom. A lot of boring shit happens that include the boys testing the woman to be sure it’s their mom with an uneventful ending. This bag of poo almost made me say “goodnight” a few times trying to push through the film. I give it 0 stars.

 

Savage Weekend (DVD) – A slasher film that was made in 1976 under the title “The Killer behind the Mask” but was later released in 1979 by Cannon Films under the title “Savage Weekend”. It stars William Sanderson from “Newhart” TV show fame and a very young girl by the name of Yancy Butler. Some couples get together at a cabin for the weekend to watch a boat being built. But of course this bores everyone and we get a lot of sex with Sanderson’s character, ‘Otis’ staring at them creepily. Of course the film immediately points to Otis being the killer but he is too busy staring at all the sex going on around him. But what pisses me off about the film is a scene where a woman is tied up to a table saw and it’s turned on… Nothing! No gore, blood, etc., it failed horribly in having a great memorable death scene. I give the film 1 1/2 stars.

 

Dust Up (DVD) – A one-eyed handyman named Jack is helping out a pretty mom played by Amber Benson/Ella because her plumbing is shot. We soon see why she is alone and has trouble paying Jack because her drug addicted husband is looking to give guys blowjobs for money he owes to his drug dealer or he will be killed that night. Jack being the nice guy he is decides to try and help and give so much of the cash up for the husband’s debt. One thing leads to another and we have shootings, drug labs blowing up, weird Indian dances, and a druglord that convinces his party goers to be cannibals because the end of the world is going to happen! It’s weird, hard to explain, but visually cool, entertaining, and seems to be a independent flick lost from the mid-90s when the flood gates opened up for all genres of small budgeted films. I give it 3 stars.

Collective

The Collective Volume VII (DVD) – The long running independent collection of short films, ten of them to be exact all are on one subject. I always enjoy picking up a new installment of this because it not only shows off the talent of all that are involved but I know Jason Hoover is still working hard out there on his craft. This time around the subject is “a key”. All involved this time around: Mostly Harmless Pictures, Jabb Pictures (of course), Quattro Venti Scott Productions, John Eric Ballinger, Liberty or Death Productions, Death Hug Films, Spiral Filmworks, Silence in the Dead of Light, Klayton Dean, 3 o’clock Productions. I really enjoyed the short from “Silence in the Dead of Light” called ‘Open Me’ as it told the story with no dialogue. I also enjoyed Jason Hoover killing himself off in a scene for the short ‘Bluebird’. There was a short that is a recut/re-edit of “Night of the Living Dead” 1968 version that I understood why it was done but in the long run I did not. But that is a whole other conversation piece that could cover pages, hours, etc. Mr. Hoover and company should be proud as usual as I give this collection 3 out of 4 stars and can be found for purchase at www.jabbpictures.com .

 

Believers (DVD) – Two paramedics get mixed up with a cult when they respond to a call from a little girl wanting help for her mommy as she is unresponsive. The paramedics are held at gunpoint and taken to an underground compound by people who call themselves ‘The Quanta Group’. The cult believes the end of the world is upon us and after their mass suicide aka their sleep they will be transferred to the other side of the universe to restart humanity. The theory is they are scientists, mathematicians, etc. who have left their past lives done research and believe fire will fall from the sky killing almost everything in its existence. I like the concept but the ending is one of those things that you want more information or a couple more scenes. I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Defenseless: A Blood Symphony (DVD) – An Australian film I believe made in 2004 by Mark Savage but released in 2006. The film is told with no dialogue at all but music and actions. A woman is raped, abused, and left out in the sea to die after she disagrees on signing off on a real estate deal. So her partners decide to do this sicken act to her. She reappears from the sea helped by a little girl and begins her weird bloody revenge/rampage through her partners. Weird, different, a little nutzoid, I am in every time to watch something off the beaten path like this. It’s available through Subversive Cinema if interested and give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Don’t forget you can come by the vendor table I will be at for a book, shirt, or a movie March 4, 5, 6th, 2016 at Pittsburgh’s Horror Realm Convention (for details: www.horrorrealmcon.com) and Cinema Wasteland April 1, 2, 3rd, 2016 in Strongsville, Ohio (for details: www.cinemawasteland.com) .

Our end of the year episode is finally up so go check it out!

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Just as we have done for the last 4 year this is the year end show.  The show where we list the top 10 movies, comics, video games, books, or T.V. shows we have consumed all year.  And just like the last few years we bring T-Shirt Joe back.  So get out your own list to compare or contrast with the guys because this is always a fun show to do.  DIE 2015…. LONG LIVE 2016… or whatever.

 Episode 186

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #367

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Gross Movie Reviews #367

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Hybrid (DVD) – A film based in Russia where a man gets a chance to get out of prison if he leads a group of mercenaries and a scientist into a heavily guarded facility that happens to be underground in middle of Russia. They need the information and hosts from an experiment that involves alien DNA from rocks and human DNA. It’s an Old Russian experiment that was never shut down and some dark government personal want it now. Not too horrible of a sci-fi film but it has tons of issues like introducing characters and never going back to them??? But anyway if you pass over this one I totally understand as I give it 1 star.

 

Bone Tomahawk (On Demand) – Sid Haig and David Arquette are two unlikely criminals who happen to piss off some Indian/cannibal/troglodytes by walking through on their burial ground. Haig’s character is killed off and Arquette finds a small town Bright Hope looking just for a drink. Once questioned by the sheriff aka shot in the leg and the troglodytes or as I like to call them “chocodiles” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocodile_Twinkie use the link wisely to understand the yinzer coming out of my mouth) come to town and steal David and Patrick Wilson’s wife and butcher a couple people. So the sheriff and three others make the dangerous trek to where these things or chocodiles live in order to save Wilson’s wife. To give the film that more fun impact the sheriff talks to a Native American man who explains the troglodytes and explains why even the Indians are afraid of these oddities. The western gets a little long when the main characters travel but gets down right fucking brutal when the four come upon the troglodytes cave. A solid western and great to see Kurt Russell back to acting full time again as I give the film 3 stars.

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Blood Frenzy (VHS/DVD-R) – A 1987 low budget slasher film of sorts where a doctor decides to take her six patients to the desert for therapy. Or we don’t have much of a budget so we are doing most of the movie in one location and shooting in five days… just saying. Things go terribly wrong one night when the patients wake up to one of them with their throat cut. Soon everyone is blaming everyone and the RV does not work any longer. Is it one of the crazies? Or is it something else? The film not watched by many but if you wondered the aisles of a ma and pa video store you most likely at least seen the bloody jack-in-the-box VHS cover. I give the film 1 ½ stars.

 

The Hateful Eight (Theater) – A bounty hunter is traveling to Red Rock through the snowy mountains being chased by another snow storm with a woman who he had captured and is seeing to hang. And this is a tale of how it all goes wrong as his wagon is stopped a couple times to pick up two travelers who are trying to escaped the snow storm and must stop  at a cabin to settle for a couple days for the storm to pass by. Problem gets worse as there are a few more men waiting at the cabin like the others trying to escape the snow storm. The landscape is amazing, the characters are fun and interesting, and the music is awesome. The cast consists of Kurt Russell, Samuel L. Jackson, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Bruce Dern, and Channing Tatum. Not the best western ever made but just like “Bone Tomahawk” I enjoy it for what it is as I give it 3 stars. And the gore flows freely throughout the flick.

 

Insidious 3 or Chapter 3 (DVD) – The movie is pretty much what you already know about the Lin Shaye psychic character. But just in case you were bored and didn’t catch on to this cheap cash-in, instead of moving the franchise forward they give you a prequel of why and how Miss Shaye’s character is back in the psychic business. I give the film 1 star.

 

Deadly Dreams (VHS/DVD-R) – Another lesser known horror film from 1988 about a college kid named Alex who is haunted by a man in a wolf mask who killed his parents over a decade ago. The man who was in the mask over a decade ago named Perkins killed himself shortly after but someone is back haunting Alex in reality and his dreams and is losing his grip of both. But not before Alex gets ahold of some redheaded boobage. I give the film 2 stars.

 

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (On Demand) – If you are a fan of “Zombieland” then you will be a fan of this hilarious tale of three scouts who must save their town from certain extinction. Three high school sophomores are on their usually Friday night campout where two of them are going to sneak off to their first high school party. But a zombie apocalypse gets in the way of that as several weird things begin to happen: dead deer gets up and leaves after being hit with their car, their scout master doesn’t show up at the camp out, zombie strippers, and the town has been evacuated. From there it is scene after scene of hilarious bloody zombies and zombie cats chasing the scouts. But if they do not get to the compound where people been evacuated too the town will be burned down by the military. I enjoyed the film because it centers on the scouts and that a certain point in your life the scouts are not fun anymore. And this just happens to take place when a zombie outbreak happened. I was a scout for a few years and like “Dogma” this film hits that soft spot in my heart so I thought it was a fun mess to watch over and over again as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Janitor (DVD) – So after 13 bizarre deaths in the Generico offices the FBI is finally stepping in to try and solve who is murdering all the employees. Meanwhile, Lionel – The Janitor is angry but lives for his job and has been living in the janitor closet with his friend Mr. Growbo because their house burned down. But after Lionel’s office crush has quit her job he wants more: a relationship, a woman, a janitor’s job at the local sorority. But when Mr. Growbo screws Lionel out of the custodian job at the local sorority house Lionel wants revenge and there can be only one janitor. Pay close attention to the end of the film as you see a younger Judah Friedlander make an appearance screaming at Lionel. I give the film 2 stars.

 

Black Sea (DVD) – Jude Law stars in a very suspenseful film where he is fired from his submarine salvaging job and has nowhere to turn. But a best friend has an idea of what he could do if they can find an investor. Has Law’s character knows about a sunken Nazi U-boat that was filled with Nazi gold but is in international waters and no salvaging company wants to touch it. So after getting someone to invest into the mission Jude Law puts together a crew of misfits that just may pull off salvage like no other before that would set them all up for life. Well-acted and the suspense make this lesser known film a must watch for any cinema fans as I give it a well-deserved 3 ½ stars.

 

Extinction (DVD) – A zombie film, excuse me a viral outbreak film that just happens to star Matthew Fox and one of my favorite actors Jeffrey Donovan. Nine years ago the two were on a bus being taken to a safe zone by military until the shit hit the fan and all were attacked by the infected. Mathew Fox has a daughter that we see now in the snowy background is being taken care of by his brother played by Jeffery Donovan. It’s been years since the last infected sighting and the brothers refuse to communicate with each other even though they live next door to each other. But one day after a food run Mathew Fox’s character is attacked by a mutation? Is it an infected, human, they leave that one out there for you the viewer to decide and if bitten you do not change like before… You just get torn to pieces. These mutations are smarter, able to call to each other, and they can heal if not shot in the head. If there was a movie I could compare this flick to it would the recent Viggo flick called “The Road”. An interesting take on the zombie bloated genre that is worth taking a chance on especially with almost no advertising about the film. I give it 3 stars.

 

Evil Town (VHS/DVD-R) – A film that was released in 1987 but started film production in 1977 that stars James Keach. “Evil Town” had four different directors, footage of a Playboy Playmate running around nude added in 1985 for selling points, rumored to be three films put together as when they went to do reshoots certain characters died in real life, and the film was also titled at one point: “God Bless Grandma and Grandpa”. Saying all of that the film boils down to a town called, ‘Smalltown’, where travelers and hitchhikers go to disappear. Mainly because a scientist working off the books experiment that deals with anti-aging and the whole town is in on it as they are all over the age of 90! Weird film, bizarre history of the film being made, equals bad movie night at a horror fan’s home in the future as I give it 1 ½ stars just for being so god damn interesting.

 

P2: A New Level in Terror (DVD) – Angela is a high-level corporate employee working late on Christmas Eve. She believes she is the last to leave until a security guard tries to assist. Not paying attention Angela finds herself locked in the building and soon chained to a chair in the security office where this guard (Wes Bentley) is a stalker. From there the film uses the old cat and mouse formula. For me the film isn’t bad as much not as interesting as a “Road Games” or “Duel” or even the segment starring Lance Henriksen in “Nightmares”? But that is just me but I still give the suspenseful film 2 stars.

 

Tobe Hooper’s Night Terrors (VHS) – Robert Englund stars as the 4th century Marquis De Sade of which a cult is based on his book that shows up in Alexandria, Egypt 1993. Pretty much a bad movie I believe that was made for Showtime originally? Zoe Trilling plays a young woman named Genie who visits her father who happens to be an archeologist and she falls to a cult that is preparing her for those who believe. It’s weird and awful mostly, but Zoe Trilling being full frontal naked 50% of the film and a dude who rides a horse completely nude with his dong flapping everywhere keeps me watching till the end for no apparent reason. There is good reason this film has been buried and not talked about much as I give it 0 stars but give Mrs. Trilling a perfect 10!

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #366

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Gross Movie Reviews #366

 

By Tim Gross

 

No Tell Motel (DVD) – Honestly there wasn’t much to tell as cynical young folks are on a trip to party for the weekend. Until one gets angry and flips the RV and they find an old motel down the road that is supposedly haunted. From there it gets a little boring and the characters are not really likable as you rout for all of them to die before halfway mark of the film. But the film tries to be a horrible crossbreed of Paranormal and Slasher flick so go figure why the film doesn’t work? I give it 0 stars.

 

Time After Time (DVD) – A late 70s film that takes a wonderful and interesting take on Jack the Ripper. David Warner is Jack the Ripper and Malcolm McDowell is a person that happens to build a time machine and best friends with Jack. They go through time to 1979 where Jack finds himself more at home than his original century. The effects are dated but the story is brilliantly brought to life by these two actors making this movie well worth revisiting as I give it 3 stars.

 

Time Bandits (DVD) – A science fiction/comedy about a supreme being that has the power to cross times and dimensions. But some midgets/little people have stolen the power that allows them to travel and David Warner is pissed. Along the way a boy is wrapped up in the chaos of the time traveling. An early 80s cable movie staple that may have been lost in the shuffle of fun weird movies that could not decide if it’s a comedy, kids film, or just a plain sci-fi flick. The film is a who’s who of British actors as I give it 3 stars.

 

The House by the Cemetery (DVD) – Another of Fulci’s films that was a drive-in staple in cut up form and on VHS in the early 80s has just been restored and available for horror fan’s consumption. The film stars Katherine (Catriona) MacColl who starred in a few of Fulci’s most notable zombie flicks. Her husband is moving her and their son from New York to an old New England home to do research on a Dr. Freudstein. Never mind the dude is living aka undead and still looking to kill in the basement. After many warnings from a little girl and strange things McColl’s husband never p[picks up on Freudstein enjoys making a gory bloody mess everywhere. If possible the film is a little weirder than “The Beyond” but let that stop you from enjoying the movie on its new format and uncut. I give this Fulci film 3 stars, it’s not my favorite but worth watching the uncut version.

Dixie

In The Hell of Dixie (DVD) – After some hunters of a hunting club have a quarrel with a man named Merrill; murders begin to happen one by one. The local sheriff believes it to be his deputy after the deputy is not promoted and a member of the hunting club. Bodies keep piling up and the deputy wants to clear his name and save his friends before there is no hunting club left. This independent film takes the long way around of making a slasher film. And when I say long I say 127 minutes… I believe the film’s biggest mistake was taking way too much time establishing the hunting club and its stale characters outside of the deputy. Most horror fans will check out about the 80 minute mark even with the half decent blood effects and story twist. The film needs to be edited down as not every movie especially horror doesn’t need to be as long as a Hollywood blockbuster. Once edited, I believe this film could be a leaner and meaner independent Southern treat it was meant to be? Otherwise if you need something to help you sleep this film is for you horror fans as I give it 1 out of 4 stars. The film is available at www.alternativecinema.com .

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The Bone Garden (DVD) – Alice and her husband who have been married for a long time have new neighbors move in. One of which works at the same university her husband works at. Even Alice believes her husband is cheating on her especially urging from her best friend Alice is concerned with the new neighbors. She believes they are hiding something as days pass and young women begin to be missing. After Alice’s best friend convinces her into going out to the local bar she sees her husband’s car and is convinced he is cheating and takes upon herself to make herself available. She has a new guy in her life, the husband has been kicked out, and the dead bodies of the missing women are found in the neighbor’s house. Everything is right with the world? But Alice is not convinced it’s her neighbor anymore. This independent flick has a few references to the original “Halloween”, some good effects, and fun plot twists which make it a solid and entertaining horror film. It could be just me but what stops this good movie from being great was the music. At all times throughout the movie the soundtrack just didn’t fit the scenes or the flow of the film and for that I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. The film is available to order at www.alternativecinema.com .

 

Dead Rising: Watchtower (OnDemand) – A horror film based on a newer zombie game that surprised me it didn’t get a bigger release. News reporter Chase Carter and his cameraman/woman are in the heart of a city under quarantine as the government is trying to stop a new outbreak of zombies. The government is using ‘Zombrex’ which taken once a day can prevent people who have been bitten from becoming zombies. But the batch of ‘Zombrex’ is not working and chaos ensues as Chase gets separated from his camera woman and is now trapped in the quarantined city. Chase teams up with a woman whose ‘Zombrex’ works and wants to get the evidence of a cover up out to the public. Another zombie flick for the glut that does not quite separate itself out of obscurity but also isn’t horrible to watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Reaper (DVD) – Interesting mess of a concept here?  Vinnie Jones, Jake Busey, and Danny Trejo star in a film where a supernatural preacher/escapee/serial killer is killing people at The Last Chance Hotel. Was this the pitch in the meeting for this film: Okay we are remaking “Shocker” and “The Horror Show” in five days, a poster that makes no sense, and yinz all collect a paycheck? I give it 1 ½ stars, can’t help myself I like “Machete”!

 

See No Evil 2 (DVD) – The popular and very talented Soska sisters take on the sequel about the unstoppable killer Jacob Goodnight. The film picks up from the end of the first film where the body of Goodnight is taken to the morgue. But its Amy’s (Danielle Harris) birthday and she is done with work. She is about to go out the door to party with friends (Katharine Isabelle and others) but stays once hearing her friends are going to be swamped at the morgue. So the party is moved to the morgue. Once a couple begins to have sex next to Goodnight’s body disappears the killing never stops. Not sold on the “Halloween 6” type killing of Goodnight but did enjoy the slasher sequel more than most recent sequels aka “Laid to Rest 2” for example. Hope there is a third and hope the Soska sisters keep doing great work as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Final Girl (DVD) – The movie begins with a little girl sitting at a table in a blank room with a man asking her odd questions and hands her a maze to figure out. Veronica finishes it is asked if she wants to be a part of something many cannot do and she just wants ice cream. 12 years later Veronica is in training with her trainer, the same man that questioned her. He is preparing her for a situation where she will take on four vicious gentlemen who go hunting… for women. She meets with them and turns the table on the gentlemen. It’s a weird movie that exists in its own universe, doesn’t give back story, and you don’t if it’s a government experiment or something totally different. A horror film that not meant for you to think but the more you read into it you will. I enjoy fun little horror films like this you are not sure how to classify and make me want to revisit again and again as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

This week we are joined by our podcast friend AXL of PROFONDO CINEMA

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This week we are joined by our podcast friend AXL of PROFONDO CINEMA as he stops by to lend his expert advice and to send Kyle down the path of Burt Reynolds enlightenment as he watches the stunt show HOOPER for the first time.  Also, Axl bring along a treat from the mid 80’s in the form of a stitched together anthology entitled NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR starring Richard Moll and a bunch of naked ladies.  And Tim has discovered a new flick in which one of our favorite dudes, DOLPH LUNDGREN punches a shark in the face in SHARK LAKE.  And along the way we talk about some news stories, ramble on about what we have been watching, and ponder the whereabouts of a certain former co-host.  So have fun and listen… Jan Michael Vincent would want you to.

 EPISODE 182

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Gross Movie Reviews #364

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Gross Movie Reviews #364

 

By Tim Gross

 

Fortress 2: Re-Entry (VHS) – Christopher Lambert is back in this sequel that lacks the excitement of the first prison outbreak movie. But it does have the cheese quality as this one takes place ten years in the future and he has been caught again and place in a prison in space. Did I mention Pam Grier makes an appearance, she is no Jeffrey Combs in the first flick but it is always cool to see Pam in these types’ cheesy flicks? All Lambert wants to do is escape and get back to his family as I give it 2 stars.

 

Elvira Presents: Dead of Night (VHS) – A Thriller Video Production that has Elvira hosting an anthology film from the late 70s that were all stories based on Richard Matheson works. First one is about time travel, the second is about vampires, and the third story is the creepy one as it’s about a woman who brings her dead kid back to life. The film doesn’t play out like a hardcore horror anthology like a “Creepshow” or “Tales from the Crypt” but more like an “Amazing Stories” episode and still a lot of fun to watch. I give it 3 stars.

 

Teen Alien (VHS) – A low budget film from 1978 that is like a mid-west after school special. In the 50s something landed up at the Old Mill. It has been quiet for 20 years until now when the alien decides to turn itself into a kid and visit the local town’s school population. It finds out his home ‘the old mill’ is about to be used as a ‘spook alley’ for Halloween by some teenagers. Once the kids are inside it slowly terrorizes the kids. Fun crappy 70s cheesy goodness for the soul as I give it 2 stars.

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My Crepitus (VHS) – The independent film is from 2000 and apparently considered the first film of filmmaker Michael Maggot aka Michael Todd Schneider. The film was rereleased in a very limited VHS format under its original title “I Never Left the White Room”. So apparently the VHS I found in my basement is one of its kind (sort of)? But anyway the best way to describe Mr. Maggot’s first feature a slow, bizarre, visually crazy twisted overload of the horror senses. A man named Jeffery has lost his mind and the film takes you down the rabbit hole that is Jeffery’s madness. If there is one thing I have learned watching Mr. Maggot’s films they are an entity of its own as his film are always something different and something you may never see again… I give the truly bizarre feature 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Beyond the Door III (VHS) – Thought I found another true sequel to a series of films that lack everything in an entertaining horror film and I was right. But the film is also known as “Amok Train”. A young lady named Beverly heads of on a class field trip to Belgrade, Serbia for some weird centuries old ceremony. Once there she is put to sleep while her friends are boarded up and set on fire in these huts. Most escape to get on a train for the next 70 minutes that apparently is possessed and fucks all kinds of shit in front of it and can drive across swamps! Weird unentertaining shit, but it was a sequel and in my DNA I was put on this earth to witness this kind of crap as I give it 1 star.

 

Cannibals (VHS) – Jess Franco’s 1979 version of a cannibal movie as the film has had several titles: Cannibal Girl and White Cannibal Queen are the popular titles. A family is shipwrecked on an uncharted island that just happens to have cannibals. The tribe eats the mother to death, eats the father’s arm, and takes their little girl to make their own. Many years later the father struggles to put together an expedition together to go find his little girl. Whose now all grown-up, topless, and getting raped by the top warrior of the cannibal tribe. We are talking family entertainment my friends. Somewhat boring but has a few disgusting cannibal moments that will warm a gore hound’s heart. I give the film 2 stars.

 

Taken 3 (DVD) – Liam Neeson decides it’s time to reboot “The Fugitive” without Tommy Lee Jones but with Forest Whitaker. Somewhat disappointing as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Hollow (DVD) – Yes, I know I keep finding movies that have this title and if keeping track I believe this is the third or maybe the fourth but anyway it’s about the Headless Horseman of course. Ichabod Crane’s descendent has to save the small town of Sleepy Hollow as the Headless Horseman returns according to Stacey Keach as the caretaker. But Crane’s descendent denies that the legend can be true until he is actually faced with the demon throwing pumpkins at him. The film also has some famous familiar young faces. If possible the film is more like a “Goosebumps” entry into the Headless Horseman lure but a good watch for all horror movie fans as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Divide (DVD) – This 2011 film stars Michael Biehn as the super of an apartment building that several tenants rush to the basement with Biehn’s character to lock themselves in as nuclear war has broken out and destroyed the world above them. Not long after settling in someone comes knocking on the door and its men in biohazard suits that shoot a couple people and steal the lone child of the group. After that which seemed like an amazing bad ass film becomes a stupid boring useless entry into the nuclear war genre of film. The film either lacked funds or brains behind the project ( I will go with brains) and was most likely the factor the film went unnoticed by many including Hollywood. The film is one of the bigger disappointments in my recent movie watching as I give zero stars for fucking up a good concept!

 

Pound of Flesh (DVD) – Jean-Claude Van Damme goes to China to donate one of his kidneys to his niece. But the night he gets there he hooks up with an escort and his kidney gets taken. Now it’s a race against time as he must find his kidney so his niece can survive which we also find out is actually his kid because he banged his brother’s wife ten years ago! Completely unrealistic shit that I love seeing JCVD in as I give it 3 stars.

 

Exists (DVD) – Some twentysomethings take off deep into the woods to their uncle’s remote cabin. Their uncle has not been to the cabin in years because of something he saw. Once there the young-ins has some fun but hear some horrible noises but think nothing of it. But one of them films everything and begins to capture or notices some strange images in the background and believes its Bigfoot. The film dude believes this because the night before their truck hit something and possibly wounded it. But now it’s too late as Bigfoot starts terrorizing them at the cabin and it wants blood! Reminds me a little of “Embedded” and this sasquatch film is so much more interesting than “Willow Creek” as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

Two brand new episodes for all you hung over Thanksgiving horror fans

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BINGE AND PURGE on 2 new episodes over at www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com FIRST we welcome back DANNO KLONOWSKI to talk about THE GREEN INFERNO, KNOCK KNOCK, and MOONSTALKER. Then Kyle and Tim talk about the metal head masterpiece that is DEATHGASM and the awesome Halloween-time flick KENNY AND CO.

two new episodes

Sweeps week for Bloodbaths and Boomsticks begins as we are posting a new episode almost everyday!

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EPISODE 179

IT’S SWEEPS WEEK!  And episode 180 is the first new episode in a week long run of new episodes.  T-Shirt Joe has escaped being captured in a dinosaur warehouse to join us in talking about BEST SELLER.  Kyle talks about the first movie that he ever saw in SUPERFUZZ.  And Tim talks about the newest installment of a beloved series in TREMORS 5: BLOODLINES.  So download this episode or you will get infested by assblasters.

 

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Gross Movie Reviews #363

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Gross Movie Reviews #363

 

By Tim Gross

 

Cooties (On Demand) – There are recalls on all chicken tenders coming out of the ‘Happy Poultry’ Corporation in Fort Chicken, Illinois. And a little girl at the Fort Chicken Elementary Summer School has found the tainted tender. She becomes slowly infected, meanwhile Elijah Wood is Clint Hanson who just happens to be a substitute teacher at the school and witnesses the little girl biting a piece of a boy’s face off! The infection spreads quickly and during recess the kids begin cannibalizing the teachers. The teachers fear for their lives as they become torn to pieces by infected children and try to survive the outbreak. Love this concept for a horror film and surprised it hasn’t been used already as I give the gory little film 3 stars. Plus I love the scene where they drug the infected kids with Ritalin and there is a “Commando” movie reference.

 

D.C. Cab (DVD) – A stupid but brilliant early 80s film about Washington D.C. cab drivers. The film has one of the best casts for a comedy ever and centers around Adam Baldwin’s character hitchhiking from down south to become a cab driver. Marsha Warfield, Mr. T just to name a couple but fat Gary Busey is at his best in this hilarious film. Worth revisiting now and again as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Why Horror? (On Demand) – A documentary from Tal Zimerman who is a self-proclaimed “huge horror fan” like the rest of us. Tal takes us viewers on an interesting ride through the history of horror films and his own experiences with horror movies over the years. Pointing out all the peaks and valleys of horror film and all the great people in the genre. An interesting movie that can be done 500 different ways but this dude got his financed and out there so kudos to him as I enjoyed it. If anything it spends almost the whole time highlighting how cool horror movies can be as I give the documentary 3 stars.

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Die Die Delta Pi (DVD) – The film begins in Spring 1986 where the Delta Pi sisters are deciding what they are going to do on spring break. But before they do anything they have the Toga party on the beach with the boys to haze the new girl Marissa. Things go wrong and Marissa catches on fire, several sisters are found murdered, and the house mother is missing. 27 years later the Delta Pi sorority has reopened at Sun State University. And according to one crazy old sorority sister ‘The Burnt One’ is coming! If that isn’t enough the new sisters are reestablishing the annual bonfire and tell the story of what happened many moons ago. Soon the new sisters are being murdered one by one. A fun, entertaining, and nostalgic independent horror film that does a great job fitting in with the likes of “Slaughter High, Killer Party, Cheerleader Camp, etc.” It is missing the corny 80s music soundtrack or even corny music video but does redeem itself with a great death scene on a gas grill. This type of film always wins my horror movie heart as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and available on amazon.com.

 

Croczilla (DVD) – This dude in China raises a pet giant crocodile only to sell it and its babies to a crooked dude who wants to sell the meat at his restaurant. Soon the giant crocodile gets pissed and loose then begins to wreck everything outside of Beijing, China. The movie takes a comedic twist when the giant croc swallows a woman’s bag of euros and she wants them back as it’s her life savings. Entertaining at times but has some hokey effects at times also. So for that I give it 2 stars as its no “Killer Crocodile’ or “Alligator”.

 

Avengers Grimm (DVD) – Casper Van Dien plays Rumpelstiltskin who leads a revolution against Snow White and her kingdom. During the fight they get thrown through the magic mirror into present earth time. But by time the princesses find a way through Rumpelstiltskin has already set up shop and has an evil plan to take over the world. And the princesses become superheroes… yes it was that terrible as I give it 0 stars as Asylum should stick to “Sharknado”.

 

Lost After Dark (DVD) – The slasher flick begins in 1977 Michigan as we are treated to a woman being chased and hacked to pieces by a bear trap in the opening minute of the film. Seven years later some teenagers plan on skipping out on the school dance, steal a school bus, and party at a cabin for the weekend. Two problems: first the bus breaks down and they go looking for help, second Robert Patrick is the vice principal and he decides to take matters into his own hands by tracking down his kids and the bus. But they all get fucked up by the cannibalistic hippie who has lived for many years on his own deep in the woods. An urban legend of sorts… The storyline isn’t breaking new ground but the film does sport some beautiful, gooey, bloody wet goodies throughout each murder scene. Another fun nostalgic slasher film worth putting on your watch list as I give it 3 stars.

 

Grabbers (DVD) – An Irish creature feature about sea creatures that attack an Irish village that survive only on water and blood. So the answer to defeating them is going to the tavern and getting the whole village drunk! Love the Irish as they keep it simple, funny, and have some bad ass sea creatures. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Mercenaries (DVD) – The main plot is a female version of “The Expendables” or even “Escape from New York” of female prisoners are sent on a mission to rescue a diplomat. Cynthia Rothrock plays the president and Zoe Bell kicks some ass but the film lacks some direction and thought could have been better in the long run if they wouldn’t have rushed the project out there a couple years back. I give it 2 stars.

 

Turbo Kid (On Demand) – Another film that is a throwback as it acts like a 80s flick set in a 1997 post-apocalyptic world that just happens to be a Canadian/New Zealand co-production. A kid who is surviving on his own with his BMX bike collects relics from the world that use to be and live alone in his bunker. From time to time he goes to trade stuff for water and a new comic book! He comes across a girl while reading his comic book and they soon become friends but are thrusted into harm’s way when ultra-evil dude Michael Ironside captures the girl and Turbo Kid tries to save her a couple times. The film is like a blend of every sci-fi PG-13 film that showed on HBO Saturday mornings during the 1980s. And for me I am all in on enjoying such an over the top entertaining flick. The characters, the weapons, and the over the top violence make this film a gem as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Mimesis (DVD) – Some people get drugged and dragged off to a farmhouse to be dressed like characters from the “Night of the Living Dead” film and be a part of some twisted role-playing game. Soon the people figure out what’s going on and begin fighting the zombies’ aka real life psychos who claim the movies made them do it. A different horror movie concept but using “Night of the Living Dead” as the backdrop is just too easy for the cash in instead of trying to use maybe an obscure horror flick or something that wouldn’t give your horror film as much backlash. Also I was disappointed in the film overall but understood why they went with it but still only give the film 1 ½ stars.

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Winners Tape All: The Henderson Brothers (Vimeo) – Independent filmmaker Justin Channell gets the band back together (Zane Crosby and Josh Lively) to put out a mockumentary about two famous brothers who made backyard horror flicks in the 80s. Justin smartly uses the VHS collector’s boom the past several years as the backdrop of the story. Henry Jacoby, VHS enthusiast, gets the ball rolling on how video stores were getting rid of VHS tapes for nearly nothing when DVD hit big and Henry discovered The Henderson Brothers films. “The Curse of Stabberman” and “Cannibal Swim Club” are the masterpieces of the Henderson Brothers. And Henry takes great joy in this as the brothers are brought together to discuss their projects, how they were made, and where they go from here? Especially now their long awaited project “Father’s Day of the Dead” is being financed by Henry’s Blood and Guts Video. Justin and company give a funny look inside look of what has gone on the past several years in the horror genre. And if I could describe this movie in the best way possible I would say “The Spinal Tap of the shot-on-video genre”. This movie had me laughing out loud several times throughout just for the mere reason I have watched many shot-on-video movies but their rereleases on DVD and VHS (again) and Justin did a great job bringing this project to life. When they talk about anyone that was involved with the two projects are dead I had tears coming out of my eyes laughing. If you are a hardcore movie/VHS tape collector and know humor this film is perfect for you as I give it 4 out 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.