IT’S SWEEPS WEEK! And episode 180 is the first new episode in a week long run of new episodes. T-Shirt Joe has escaped being captured in a dinosaur warehouse to join us in talking about BEST SELLER. Kyle talks about the first movie that he ever saw in SUPERFUZZ. And Tim talks about the newest installment of a beloved series in TREMORS 5: BLOODLINES. So download this episode or you will get infested by assblasters.
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Gross Movie Reviews #363
By Tim Gross
Cooties (On Demand) – There are recalls on all chicken tenders coming out of the ‘Happy Poultry’ Corporation in Fort Chicken, Illinois. And a little girl at the Fort Chicken Elementary Summer School has found the tainted tender. She becomes slowly infected, meanwhile Elijah Wood is Clint Hanson who just happens to be a substitute teacher at the school and witnesses the little girl biting a piece of a boy’s face off! The infection spreads quickly and during recess the kids begin cannibalizing the teachers. The teachers fear for their lives as they become torn to pieces by infected children and try to survive the outbreak. Love this concept for a horror film and surprised it hasn’t been used already as I give the gory little film 3 stars. Plus I love the scene where they drug the infected kids with Ritalin and there is a “Commando” movie reference.
D.C. Cab (DVD) – A stupid but brilliant early 80s film about Washington D.C. cab drivers. The film has one of the best casts for a comedy ever and centers around Adam Baldwin’s character hitchhiking from down south to become a cab driver. Marsha Warfield, Mr. T just to name a couple but fat Gary Busey is at his best in this hilarious film. Worth revisiting now and again as I give it 3 ½ stars.
Why Horror? (On Demand) – A documentary from Tal Zimerman who is a self-proclaimed “huge horror fan” like the rest of us. Tal takes us viewers on an interesting ride through the history of horror films and his own experiences with horror movies over the years. Pointing out all the peaks and valleys of horror film and all the great people in the genre. An interesting movie that can be done 500 different ways but this dude got his financed and out there so kudos to him as I enjoyed it. If anything it spends almost the whole time highlighting how cool horror movies can be as I give the documentary 3 stars.
Die Die Delta Pi (DVD) – The film begins in Spring 1986 where the Delta Pi sisters are deciding what they are going to do on spring break. But before they do anything they have the Toga party on the beach with the boys to haze the new girl Marissa. Things go wrong and Marissa catches on fire, several sisters are found murdered, and the house mother is missing. 27 years later the Delta Pi sorority has reopened at Sun State University. And according to one crazy old sorority sister ‘The Burnt One’ is coming! If that isn’t enough the new sisters are reestablishing the annual bonfire and tell the story of what happened many moons ago. Soon the new sisters are being murdered one by one. A fun, entertaining, and nostalgic independent horror film that does a great job fitting in with the likes of “Slaughter High, Killer Party, Cheerleader Camp, etc.” It is missing the corny 80s music soundtrack or even corny music video but does redeem itself with a great death scene on a gas grill. This type of film always wins my horror movie heart as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and available on amazon.com.
Croczilla (DVD) – This dude in China raises a pet giant crocodile only to sell it and its babies to a crooked dude who wants to sell the meat at his restaurant. Soon the giant crocodile gets pissed and loose then begins to wreck everything outside of Beijing, China. The movie takes a comedic twist when the giant croc swallows a woman’s bag of euros and she wants them back as it’s her life savings. Entertaining at times but has some hokey effects at times also. So for that I give it 2 stars as its no “Killer Crocodile’ or “Alligator”.
Avengers Grimm (DVD) – Casper Van Dien plays Rumpelstiltskin who leads a revolution against Snow White and her kingdom. During the fight they get thrown through the magic mirror into present earth time. But by time the princesses find a way through Rumpelstiltskin has already set up shop and has an evil plan to take over the world. And the princesses become superheroes… yes it was that terrible as I give it 0 stars as Asylum should stick to “Sharknado”.
Lost After Dark (DVD) – The slasher flick begins in 1977 Michigan as we are treated to a woman being chased and hacked to pieces by a bear trap in the opening minute of the film. Seven years later some teenagers plan on skipping out on the school dance, steal a school bus, and party at a cabin for the weekend. Two problems: first the bus breaks down and they go looking for help, second Robert Patrick is the vice principal and he decides to take matters into his own hands by tracking down his kids and the bus. But they all get fucked up by the cannibalistic hippie who has lived for many years on his own deep in the woods. An urban legend of sorts… The storyline isn’t breaking new ground but the film does sport some beautiful, gooey, bloody wet goodies throughout each murder scene. Another fun nostalgic slasher film worth putting on your watch list as I give it 3 stars.
Grabbers (DVD) – An Irish creature feature about sea creatures that attack an Irish village that survive only on water and blood. So the answer to defeating them is going to the tavern and getting the whole village drunk! Love the Irish as they keep it simple, funny, and have some bad ass sea creatures. I give the film 3 ½ stars.
Mercenaries (DVD) – The main plot is a female version of “The Expendables” or even “Escape from New York” of female prisoners are sent on a mission to rescue a diplomat. Cynthia Rothrock plays the president and Zoe Bell kicks some ass but the film lacks some direction and thought could have been better in the long run if they wouldn’t have rushed the project out there a couple years back. I give it 2 stars.
Turbo Kid (On Demand) – Another film that is a throwback as it acts like a 80s flick set in a 1997 post-apocalyptic world that just happens to be a Canadian/New Zealand co-production. A kid who is surviving on his own with his BMX bike collects relics from the world that use to be and live alone in his bunker. From time to time he goes to trade stuff for water and a new comic book! He comes across a girl while reading his comic book and they soon become friends but are thrusted into harm’s way when ultra-evil dude Michael Ironside captures the girl and Turbo Kid tries to save her a couple times. The film is like a blend of every sci-fi PG-13 film that showed on HBO Saturday mornings during the 1980s. And for me I am all in on enjoying such an over the top entertaining flick. The characters, the weapons, and the over the top violence make this film a gem as I give it 3 ½ stars.
Mimesis (DVD) – Some people get drugged and dragged off to a farmhouse to be dressed like characters from the “Night of the Living Dead” film and be a part of some twisted role-playing game. Soon the people figure out what’s going on and begin fighting the zombies’ aka real life psychos who claim the movies made them do it. A different horror movie concept but using “Night of the Living Dead” as the backdrop is just too easy for the cash in instead of trying to use maybe an obscure horror flick or something that wouldn’t give your horror film as much backlash. Also I was disappointed in the film overall but understood why they went with it but still only give the film 1 ½ stars.
Winners Tape All: The Henderson Brothers (Vimeo) – Independent filmmaker Justin Channell gets the band back together (Zane Crosby and Josh Lively) to put out a mockumentary about two famous brothers who made backyard horror flicks in the 80s. Justin smartly uses the VHS collector’s boom the past several years as the backdrop of the story. Henry Jacoby, VHS enthusiast, gets the ball rolling on how video stores were getting rid of VHS tapes for nearly nothing when DVD hit big and Henry discovered The Henderson Brothers films. “The Curse of Stabberman” and “Cannibal Swim Club” are the masterpieces of the Henderson Brothers. And Henry takes great joy in this as the brothers are brought together to discuss their projects, how they were made, and where they go from here? Especially now their long awaited project “Father’s Day of the Dead” is being financed by Henry’s Blood and Guts Video. Justin and company give a funny look inside look of what has gone on the past several years in the horror genre. And if I could describe this movie in the best way possible I would say “The Spinal Tap of the shot-on-video genre”. This movie had me laughing out loud several times throughout just for the mere reason I have watched many shot-on-video movies but their rereleases on DVD and VHS (again) and Justin did a great job bringing this project to life. When they talk about anyone that was involved with the two projects are dead I had tears coming out of my eyes laughing. If you are a hardcore movie/VHS tape collector and know humor this film is perfect for you as I give it 4 out 4 stars.
Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………
You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!
Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.
Gross Movie Reviews #362
By Tim Gross
Kenny and Company (DVD-R/YouTube) – So who would of guessed the man that gave us such an evil but bad ass film in “Phantasm” would do a coming of age film in 1976 centered a kid named Kenny and Halloween. We all got start somewhere and Don Coscarelli started with this film. It’s not a horror film at all but more of your typical 70s ‘after school’ special about Kenny and his best friend trying to build a car for soapbox derby, overcome bullying, girls, and having Reggie Bannister as a teacher. The film is a little dated but a lot fun if you were born during the 70s and worth tracking down. I give the film 2 stars.
The Magnificent Seven (DVD) – This was one those films that had always been on my list to watch as I am a huge fan of “The Good, the Bad, the Ugly”. Plus, Eli Wallach is a bad ass who bullies a small Mexican village ever year before harvest time. Well, the village has had enough sending the women and small children to live in the shadows as the farmers do the work but send three men out to buy guns. They come across a no bullshit gunslinger played by Yul Brynner. Yul is the man before Clint’s ‘The Man with No Name’ character showed up in 60s spaghetti westerns. Yul decides the poor farmers need help more than he needs money but it just can’t be himself that takes on Eli Wallach and his bandits. All-star cast in Charles Bronson, Steve McQueen, James Coburn, and a young Robert Vaughn makes movie just perfect to watch. It is a piece of cinematic history as I give it 4 stars and do yourself a favor of watching it at least once before you die!
Deathgasm (OnDemand) – Best movie of 2015 outside of “Mad Max: Fury Road”! We got gore, death metal, demons, and it is made in New Zealand… Perfect! Brodie is a teenager that is screwed since he got sent to live with his aunt and uncle because his mom decided to do drunken sexual favors to a mall Santa! So now living in the middle of ‘Ass Fuck’ nowhere Brodie tries to make friends with the local nerds Dion and Giles and just happens to have a crush on his dickhole cousin David’s girlfriend Medina. Who later on we find out is a pure bad ass. So Brodie scopes out the local record shop and meets Zaak. Immediately they become blood brothers and start a death metal band. The two just happen to stumble upon satanic sheet music in an album protected by a musician named Rikki Daggers. Brodie then figures out how to play the sheet music after getting his ass kick by his cousin and bring forth demons that will put the whole world in darkness. Once it happens and demons take over almost everyone in the nowhere town Brodie must find a way to stop it with help from his friends. Highlights from the film include: the quote “Do Demons recognize Day Light Savings Time”, a fight with demons that involves sex toys, and a music shop psychic. Everyone involved from cast to crew is awesome for putting this film together. The 16 year old metalhead still inside me was ready to throw up the devil horns and start thrashing after this fun 4 star movie.
American Ninja 5 (DVD) – Hell yeah I found it folks! David Bradley is the man in this PG-13 rated 1993 direct-to-video film that also stars Pat Morita. Bradley is reluctant to talk about his ninja ways until his girlfriend is kidnapped and taken hallway across the world. So Bradley and a young boy he is stuck with that weekend stowaway on the bad guys’ plane and save his girlfriend. Boring but definitely a possible precursor to “Power Rangers” as there are multiple colored ninjas fighting David Bradley. I give the film 1 star.
Violent Shit III: Infantry of Doom (DVD-R) – The film is also called “Zombie Doom” but that doesn’t matter as Karl the Butcher returns again in this German produced independent feature. Karl now has a son to help and they live on a small island where they train to be Karl disciples. The cult finds three shipwrecked men who are disposed of quickly by torture and a game of death involving the disciples chasing them on the island. But no fear some random ninjas just happen to be on the island and Dr. Senius has made a shitload of zombies to attack Karl the Butcher and crew. Oh did I mention Karl’s son owns a double barrel shotgun with unlimited bullets. Not as entertaining as the second flick but I still found some humor in this movie existing as I give it 1 ½ stars.
Shark Lake (DVD) – Dolph Lundgren is Clint Gray who gets arrested for selling illegal exotic animals. Five years later, the deputy that arrested him has his daughter and there is a shark or sharks eating the locals. Now, Clint has to protect his daughter from his former employer and must get the deputy to not arrest him while trying to capture or kill the sharks. The effects are just downright horrendous and story seems kind of choppy. But we do get to see Dolph punch a shark in the fucking face so there’s that. I give it 1 ½ stars.
The Hollow (DVD) – A great concept about a 100 year Halloween storm and a fire creature but it three whiny sisters that you will want to die in the first five minutes. The whining is non-stop in this “should have been a lot better” Halloween-themed feature. I give the film 1 star.
Robocop (DVD/remake) – So I finally sat down to watch Snake-eyes fight crime in the future. It’s a little harsh but come on Hollywood once again remade a violent classic. But I gave it a chance and was not disappointed but if anything this flick would help my argument of just continuing the series and not rebooting it. This time around its 2028 and politicians are fighting over robots being the police force in America even though it has worked so well in other countries. So Michael Keaton and crew agree on making a cyborg to win the people’s vote. This version goes for giving a more non-violent and family man “Robocop” than the original. The film has its moments and was a pleasant surprise how watchable it was but what it misunderstood about the original concept from 1987 is it’s over the top violence but also its cheesy commercials which made the film a classic. What also did not help the reboot of the film was the main villain was killed halfway through the film leaving the new Robocop just tying up loose ends. Now that I have gotten older I have try to give remakes a second watch, a second thought, or just a chance but still doesn’t mean they are good. I am glad I watched it as I give it 2 stars.
Night Train of Terror (YouTube) – This 1985 film has been rumored to be two or three films smashed into one… Spookies anyone? But in this film God and Satan ride a train where they discuss three cases and decided who gets who when they are dead. The film is weird, has a lot of Claymation, has Richard Moll, and looks like most of it was shot in 1979. And by the way that weird bootleg Jane Fonda workout music video that was going on in the train didn’t make a lick of sense but I still give the chaos of a film 2 stars. If interested, the film has finally seen the light of day on Blu-ray.
Slimy Little Bastards (YouTube/DVD) – A cheapie but goodie from independent actor turned independent filmmaker Dave Parker gives us a film about a curator who tries to help a gentleman in need as his van “took a poop’ on him. While the curator looks for a car jack for the gentleman he tells him three stories about rare small creatures he likes to collect: ‘Organic Shit’, ‘Brain Busters’, ‘The Crusties’. If you are a Dustin Wayde Mills fan you will notice a couple familiar faces along with Dustin acting in front of the camera for Mr. Parker. The film is a gooey fantastic entertaining fun ride that doesn’t over stay its welcome in the anthology film world. I believe Mr. Parker did a fine job of giving independent fans something fun to add to their collections as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Plus I couldn’t stop laughing when a character in the last story pointed to a toxic shitfrog and ask “is that a jugaloo?”
From Whisper to a Scream (DVD) – One of my favorite filmmakers Jeff Burr got a chance to direct Vincent Price in this anthology that was very early in his career. But also I have always known this film as “The Offspring” with its creepy box art from 1987 of a small creature peeking out of a tear in the picture. Vincent Price plays a librarian who chronicles stories of the small town Oldfield. He begins telling them to a woman posing as a journalist questioning Price’s character on his niece’s execution. First story deals with an old dude having sex with a corpse and surprise comes nine months later. Second story deals with a man who wants immortality after he is brought back to life after being left for dead. Third story is about a freakshow romance that ends in buckets of gore and sadness. And the last story is about the Civil War ending and some Union soldiers having the tables turned on them when they come across some children fending for themselves. A lesser known but a very solid anthology that gets lost in the shuffle when horror fans recall some of their favorites. But believe me with its new release on DVD/Blu-ray many horror fans will be happy and it will make many more with its availability as I give the film 3 stars.
Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………
You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!
Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.
This week Tim returns from our favorite convention CINEMA WASTELAND with tales of drinking, debauchery, and sexual transmitted diseases. We also get around talking about the VHS collecting scene, Beer, Bigfoot, the old school game show Press Your Luck, Whammies, No Whammies, and Kyle hates an exploitation classic. We cover the flicks MY BROTHER HAS BAD DREAMS and MS. 45.
http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/
Gross Movie Reviews #361
By Tim Gross
Crimson Peak (Theater) – The best way to describe the film is the way Guillermo Del Toro described it as “gothic romance”. Here is the quick story; the dude that played Loki in “the Avengers” movies is inventor looking for money from big American companies to invest to help him finish it. Think of it as a Kickstarter campaign or Indie Go-Go. Well he gets denied by a big shot that just happens to have only one daughter and of course she isn’t married yet. Well Loki isn’t there so much for the money right now as he is looking for a new bride to take home to his sister to kill for the money… and incest. Things don’t go according to plan when the new bride keeps seeing ghosts in the broken down castle. Great atmosphere, great scenery, but blah overall on the ‘Hammer-lite’ flow. It pretty much just exists and for that I just give it 1 ½ stars.
Night of the Wild (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Eric Red made a movie with Asylum Entertainment about meteors falling and causing all dogs to attack humans. Well most of the attacks looks like the dogs are wrestling or playing with the actors when they are not CG’d in. This movie tries hard not to be a pile of steaming poo but damn if you can’t get that scent out of your nose while watching it. Asylum stick with the ‘Shark Attack, Sharknados, and Shark whatever’ films as I give this flick 1 star.
Moonstalker (DVD-R/DVD) – The director of the 80s film “Hellgate” also did this flick too before disappearing from filmmaking land. It’s the middle of winter and a family is vacationing all by themselves in the middle of the woods. Until, an old dude rolls up sits down for some talk and cake and then unleashes his son! Who just happens to be a pillow sheet, straight-jacket wearing weirdo that goes and kills the family for their microwave? But that wasn’t enough for Bernie as he disguises himself as one of the incoming people to the ‘Wilderness Councilor Camp’. Then Bernie continues his slashing ways through the others. Movie was heavily influenced by “Friday the 13th”. I give it 2 stars.
Goosebumps (Theater) – Now let me explain something here, “Goosebumps” the books and original TV series missed me by a few years. By time this book series became known and popular I was 17 or 18 years old and about to graduate. But several younger friends I had would always talk about this series for years to come. It was great PG-rated horror stuff for teenagers. So over the years the series has gone and came back and even had a new series come back for a couple years not too long ago but the movie should have happened 10 or 15 years ago. And that folks is the only bad thing I could say about the film. Now present day, Jack Black is R. L. Stine who has a daughter/Hannah/maybe and moves around a lot for unknown reasons. Cue in new boy movies in next door, Madison, Delaware, daughter takes an interest. Mr. Stine says, “Stay away!” New boy tries to be good about it until one evening he calls the police because Stine is screaming at Hannah. Worried and the police are about to file a false report warning against the young man he sneaks back in to check on Hannah with a friend a couple days later. When in they both find a room that has all the “Goosebumps” manuscripts written. Accidentally, one gets knocked down, opens and Sasquatch is loose! Hannah and the boys follow it and try to capture it but fail but get help from R.L. Stine. Mr. Stine explains this is the reason they keep moving because eventually someone opens one of the manuscripts and chaos ensues. But it’s too late as Slappy the Dummy is loose and plans on making sure none of them get sucked back into the books. This movie is absolutely wonderful and perfect. Again if it was made 10 or 15 years ago it’s “The Monster Squad” of that generation. I give the film 3 ½ stars and Jack Black was awesome as R.L. Stine. Critics get over yourselves this movie was good.
The Green Inferno (Theater) – College students join a major protestor that has arranged for them to fly into Peru and go chain themselves to construction vehicles that are about to destroy a jungle and an ancient tribe. The protestors want to protect them and film it for the world to see to help stop it. After the event they get back on a plane to go back to their hotel only for it to go down in the middle of the jungle and be capture by the ancient cannibal tribe in the aftermath. Once captured those who didn’t die almost want to as they witness some horrible imagery as they watch their friends be baked, sliced, and diced for meals. Never mind the head of the protest is a complete dickhead but adds to the horrific storyline. Congrats Eli Roth, you made your cannibal film. It was good. I enjoyed the tribes’ people and the storyline. It was a good, bloody, cannibalistic time and that is all I look for in this type of film. I am sure fans will call it Eli Roth’s “Cannibal Holocaust”, which it’s not but it is a must watch for cannibal fans. I give the fun flick 3 stars.
Knock Knock (On Demand) – So Eli Roth has been a busy man since he released this film also at the same time as “The Green Inferno”. Love the choice of Keanu Reeves as the lead but that is about all I enjoyed about the film. This film is about you are supposed to know males are pigs and do not trust another fucking soul on this earth especially if they have hacked your social media. Mr. Roth lets go make a sequel to “The Green Inferno” as I give this 1 star.
They Found Hell (SyFy Channel) – Scientists in training have figured out the doorway to hell by accident. They were trying to do the Jeff Goldblum thing with transferring an object from one place to another and thought they did it until it opened a hole in the ground that sucked them into hell. It’s a cool concept that may not have been executed correctly. But anyhow the students/scientists in training try to make their way through hell in hopes of finding the disc that can get them back through the portal. Monsters, zombies, and creatures of sorts constantly try to kill them, because it is hell… I could be wrong on this but I thought this could have made a great B-movie for SyFy Channel fans if they used it for another “Dungeons and Dragons” sequel or even a “In the Name of the King” sequel with Dolph Lundgren. I give it 2 stars.
Sequence of Demise (YouTube) – A 27 minute film from director Jim Mitchell a few years back. The film lives up to its title as a quiet ride between three friends and a baby to the cemetery goes wrong quickly after two unknown men decide it’s time for rape, torture, and murder. The independent short film from Mr. Mitchell comes off as an experimental film or first rough cut of what Jim Mitchell wanted on film. With that said it fits in with such films as “August Underground” or “Double Dose of Terror”. Usually not my cup of tea but if it is truly experimental and Mr. Mitchell seeing what he can do film wise it has me interested how he has progressed since 2008. It’s available on You Tube and worth checking out as I give 2 out of 4 stars.
Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………
You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!
Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.
Also you can purchase a copy locally in the burgh at Rickert and Beagle Books: They are located at 3233 West Liberty Ave in Dormont (15216) Call us at (412) 344-7444(412) 344-7444
http://rickertandbeaglebooks.com/
Gross Movie Reviews #360
By Tim Gross
Mongrel (VHS/DVD-R) – A 1982 thriller about people living at a boardinghouse where an old mean dog terrorizes a timid tenant that looks a lot like Jeffery Combs. One day one of the tenants teases the dog and the dog gets loose and attacks. After the dog is put down the timid tenant claims to hear strange noises at night (which sounds like me burping after guzzling a bottle of Yuengling). And tenants begin to die of strange vicious deaths. The film has its moments and also two things going for it: first, it’s Mitch Pileggi’s first film and second, there is a “Deep Throat” pinball game featured in a scene where tenants are drinking in a game room gossiping. Never heard much about the film before this but believe this will be a film I will revisit in the future as I give it 2 ½ stars.
The Gallows (On Demand) – Another so-called “found footage” film that involves a high school drama class. Apparently, twenty years ago during a play called “The Gallows” a kid hangs himself when the play was being performed. After much speculation and begging by the drama class director they are doing the play again. But a kid that films everything has other plans and just happens to be best friends with the lead of the play also. Together with another friend learn the back door to the high school does not lock and break-in to destroy the set so they “The Gallows” play cannot go on the next night. Once in, strange things begin to happen while the camera rolls. Think “Grave Encounters” in a high school. There isn’t much to the film besides it being a cheap cash-in for Hollywood but again it raises the question for me… Who found this footage? Especially since it never made it out of the high school and if it did the person or persons that were a part of the deaths in the school would be arrested for the deaths. Oh no, I gave away the awesome plot! I give this uninteresting film 1 star.
Tremors 5: Bloodlines (DVD) – The film series that features blind giant man-eating worms and things called ass-blasters has been revived once more again featuring Michael Gross aka Burt Gummer. Gummer is now hanging out in the Nevada desert filming his survivalist internet show. It’s been years since Graboids have attacked or any new ones have popped up. But Gummer soon gets two visitors. The first is Jamie Kennedy who plays the role of crazy cameraman and fan of Gummer and second is a man from South Africa that proposes Mr. Gummer to come to South Africa to help them with their Graboid problem or I should say Ass-blaster problem. Gummer says, “If you got ass-blasters, you have Graboids.” From there Burt Gummer explains the evolution of Graboids not only for his new cameraman but for the viewers and catches everybody up on the evolution of the Graboids. Great stuff! But Gummer finds out the game has changed again in South Africa as the Graboids may have mutated one more time as their tentacles are able to detach and seek food but the Graboid is bigger and ass-blasters are not after heat as much anymore. Once Gummer understands he is being screwed over by a poacher and has a possible adult son it is time to find and destroy the nest of the mutated Graboids. Once again there isn’t a bad installment in this series that gets revived every few years or so and for great reason as the source material “Graboids” are fun to see and have been smartly written to keep audiences enjoying the evolution of them. I give the flick 3 stars.
Death Squad (DVD) – Rutger Hauer, Darryl Hannah, Stephen Baldwin, Danny Glover, and Michael Madsen and its set in 2046! With a title and cast like this the flick should be movie gold? NOT THIS PILE OF DOG SHIT! Somebody, somewhere overthought this futuristic film that didn’t get a big release and for good reason. Its 2046 and the government has broken down, there is war, Danny Glover has two computers from the late 90s, and zones where radiation has killed millions of people. What it comes down to is a secret mission has Baldwin’s character trying to find an old uplink to a satellite that could change the course of the war. Danny Glover just spends the whole movie in one room yelling at Baldwin. Rutger Hauer is one bad dude in charge of Darryl Hannah’s character and apparently has Michael Madsen on speed dial to go kill people double secretly. Got it? Good! Because it doesn’t make a lick a sense at times especially when Baldwin’s character meets a purple/red painted lady who may be real or may be from radiation poisoning to a person who has been in this infected zone too long without medicine. I love me some Rutger Hauer but someone fucked up royally on this flick as I give it a ½ star.
Storage 24 (DVD) – A not much known UK sci-fi/horror flick that of course involves a huge storage facility and a down spacecraft or debris nearby during a couple of friends who are trying to help a couple split up their stuff after a break-up. Soon power and computer outages cause the storage facility to go into lockdown where no one can leave and the storage company is trying to fix it while a soap opera unfolds inside. And… there is a bad ass looking alien chowing down on humans trapped inside. Before you say “I have seen this before”, give this film a chance as the film has great effects in the creature and the death scenes as buckets of blood and goo flow. But also the film keeps it simple and claustrophobic for a lot of the film so it never seems to drag. Horror fans this is a hidden gem worth seeking out and enjoying this creature feature as I give it 3 stars.
Lucy (DVD) – Need to waste 90 minutes watching a flick that won’t make you think this science fiction flick starring Scar Jo and Morgan Freeman is the go to film. Scar Jo’s character gets used as a drug mule for a new drug that could kill you or in Lucy’s case unlocks her brain. Lucy knows she could die soon but discovers as more of her brain is able to unlock she is becoming less human and control almost everything around her. But she also wants to pass the knowledge along to Morgan Freeman’s character who is studying the effects of unlocking the brain. The film isn’t bad or great but a fun time to waste 90 minutes and not have to think too much as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Area 51 (DVD) – Another ‘found footage’ film that features three friends who are going to break-in at the Area 51 facility and get proof that aliens exist. I always enjoy these types of movies that involve Area 51 mainly because I find the location interesting just like the Reed character. But Reed is searching it out for a whole different reason as three months ago he was a typical college-aged dude partying with friends and loses a bet where he must sing or rap karaoke. Lights go out and Reed disappears. His two buddies leave the party a few hours later and find a disorientated Reed wondering the highway. Now the past three months he has become obsessed with aliens and Area 51and his personality has completely changed. They find a way to break-in and find a whole lot more inside after being chased by the military. But with the camera falling into the desert and busted again I ask the question “Who found this footage?” I give the film 2 ½ stars not so much for the characters as much for the plot of the film of three people going to great lengths to find aliens in Area 51.
The Slashening (DVD/Vimeo) – Five girlfriends are having a slumber party and the parents are out of town. Old friends just celebrating friendship as you have one straight out of rehab and another coming off a very bad relationship. This Brandon Bassham directed feature follows the formula of a “Slumber Party Massacre” and “Student Bodies”. As the five friends have boys show up and I learn new phrases like “coke pussy”, someone in a tater sack is slashing their way through dumb pizza dudes. If that wasn’t enough everyone confesses to banging Lucy’s boyfriend and the pizza is three hours late as the girls begin to disappear one by one by the hands of a tater sack killer. What the film lacks in effects more than makes up in talented actors, dialogue, and the filmmaker’s love for horror/comedies. Annum Films and Mr. Bassham get kudos from me for making a smart and hilarious horror/comedy on a shoestring budget! Many are made but very few worth viewing but also owning like this great feature. Picked up Troma and sold on amazon.com I have to give one of the better films of 2015 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
Super Fuzz (YouTube/VHS) – Ernest Borgnine has a rookie partner who was presumed dead after a rocket exploded over a remote are the officer was at. But a red powder has given Officer David Speed super powers. Only one problem every time he sees red he loses his super powers. But that doesn’t stop this film being a prototype for the TV show “The Greatest American Hero” and being a staple for us old people in our young days of early 80s HBO. One scene after another has David stopping crime before it stops because of his super powers along with falling out of windows also. The film is a hilarious reminder of what played constantly on the early days of cable and what we all found amusing. If you remember it or never witnessed a man talk to a fish in a movie do yourself a favor and look this up now! I give it 3 stars.
Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………
You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!
Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.
This week we return (finally) from working tons of overtime to talk about the 1990 satanic slasher/serial killer film THE FIRST POWER, and A series of Spanish zombie movies known as The Blind Dead Series. Also, Tim has found more god damned roller blade movies, College football sex scandals, The sad story of Lyle Alzado, Kyle watches Turbo Kid, and old school toys you could get from cereal boxes. All this and more. So check it out, and we are sorry for the delay.
http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/
Gross Movie Reviews #359
By Tim Gross
Marley’s Revenge: The Monster Movie (VHS/DVD-R) – A low budget not so fun mess is the best way to describe this oddity. Apparently some dumb rednecks of a coastal town keep track of drug dealers and kill them. The rednecks mistaken two guys for drug dealers, they are actually trying to rescue relatives of the one from their native country… Details are scarce in this flick but what you need to know after a voodoo priest’s wife is killed by rednecks he brings the dead back to life and boring hilarity ensues if that is possible? I give the flick 2 stars.
Spasms (DVD) – Peter Fonda plays a parapsychologist who gets wrapped up in some zany snake cult in 1982. The movie doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but don’t let that stop you from witnessing a giant snake killing people on a college campus. And there is snake vision of course always an added bonus feature. I give the weird flick 2 stars.
The Boy (Chiller Channel/Theater) – An almost two hour set up of a man and his child living and trying to keep an old motel alive. Not much goes on there and not much business but a slow burn of watching a boy progress into a murderer is your thing? This is your movie. Not great, not horrible, just more disappointing for me as I thought there would be more to it after watching the trailers and Chiller Channel having a good track record. I give it 2 stars as I most likely will never revisit this flick.
Willow Creek (DVD) – So apparently Bobcat Goldthwait saw “Blair Witch Project” and decided he could use that movie concept for Bigfoot. Did it work… not really? I was into the couple being excited by trying to go to the original site of the Bigfoot footage that was captured in 1967 and trying to gather their own footage. But you lost me when yinz decided to set up a camera in a tent for 10 to 15 straight minutes pointing to the couple and just having sounds being made. Not giving away the ending to any that is interested but my “Blair Witch” reference most likely already has. It just seemed like another bad extended trailer for a “Paranormal Activity” movie? Bobcat I respect you dude but please go get into another “Police Academy” reunion movie sir. I give this flick 1 star.
Killer Party (Vimeo) – A group of filmmakers that go by the name “FuckYeah1990s” have made a short film and using a crowd funding website to possibly make the short into a feature length horror film. A masked skateboarder goes on a murderous rampage in a town where many hate skateboarders, make friends pay for Taco Bell, but they love their ‘Shaq Fu’ video game. I’m in! I laughed my ass off at the slaughter and enjoyed the humor of the short film. It reminded me of a younger Rick Fusselman and DSK-Productions and I could not get enough of those guys as I loved their independent films. So I give this project 3 out of 4 stars and wish the group lots of luck with the feature and hope to see it! More details go to: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/killer-party-feature-film#/story
Atari: Game Over (DVD) – A fun nerdy documentary about what ever happened to the Atari 2600 console and why the game E.T. killed it… supposedly. Not too long ago this story popped up on all the social media sites about where Atari may have dumped all the returned and unbought E.T. games from the early 80s and all this hoopla about how it killed it. Sorry but if you were growing up in the 80s like I did this was interesting. I was an Atari kid and then Nintendo and it did seem like overnight Atari 2600 disappeared. This documentary explains what actually happened and why while documenting some video game nerds going around a desert dumping area digging up garbage looking for the games. Or just finding mercury-laced pigs! Great documentary and even entertaining if you were not a kid of the 80s as I give it 3 stars.
My Brother Has Bad Dreams (VHS/DVD-R) – The 1974 film is known to most fans as “Scream Bloody Murder” but don’t get it confused with the 1973 film of the same title which could explain the title change to begin with. But our little weird film is about a young man named Karl who you learn is mentally handicapped. This happened when he was a child and witnessed his father killing his mother. Now Karl tries to pass the time fishing and bathing naked at the lake while his sister tries to figure out bills. Now this isn’t when Karl is having weird dreams that affect him to start talking to a mannequin and calling it his mother in a Norman Bates kind of way! Creepy and weird in that after school 70s TV special kind of way until Karl loses complete touch with reality, snaps, kills his sister Anna and her new boyfriend as he believes it time for him to go on a road trip. The film has one of the more trippy and twisted endings that I have ever seen and not totally know what to make of it but give it credit it was different. I give the film 2 stars.
Manos The Hands of Fate (Blu-ray) – Well Manos has finally got the special treatment from the fine folks at Synapse Films. Now if it was warranted or not is up for debate as many declare this film to be the “worst film ever made”. I am sure “Troll 2” fans will not agree but that never stopped many horror hosts from making fun of this 1966 cult film for many years on their late night programs. That aside Synapse and company go to great lengths of putting together the most complete package for fans of this very odd cultish movie. By some chance you have never witnessed this wreck, carnage of so-called movie it is about a family getting lost on the backroads of Texas. They finally pull over to a strange cabin to be greeted by an even stranger character named “The caretaker”. There is no phone, no mechanic, and no nothing except the caretaker telling the couple “the master” will be pleased to see them. Weird shit keeps happening outside but never seen and then you have long scenes of Manos’ wives fighting and blaming the caretaker for problems. But if possible once the master becomes a part of the film it just gets weird, a little boring, and not sure exactly what they were trying to do with the film. For me I was never a fan but never said it was horrible because believe me I have seen much worse shit that people call a film. If you are a DVD-extra nerd and enjoy tidbits about weird horror movies like I do then you will be beyond pleased with the package Synapse has put together. And amazed what they have done with the picture quality of the movie itself. Entertaining stuff for a cultish film worth putting on your next shopping list as I give the movie 1 star but the full package 3 out of 4 stars. You can find the Blu-ray at www.synapse-films.com .
Mosquito (Blu-ray) – Thanks to Synapse Films for digging this low budget 1995 classic up! Alien aircraft crashes in the woods and a mosquito bites a dead alien. Poof! Giant mutated mosquitoes flying around the woods. We are introduced to this by a guy and his girlfriend hitting one on the road and it exploding to pieces. They limp the car to a motel and try to get it fixed meanwhile we are introduced to a bumbling park ranger trying to fog out the skeeters around the park. A dude who studies meteors and is searching the woods for the one that fell the other day. And Gunnar Hansen with a ponytail and two brothers who have missed their exit and now are lost in the middle of the woods. Soon all characters come together after a horrific night of giant mosquitoes killing all the campers in gory fashion. The survivors try to band together and save the world from mutating mosquitoes in this Gary Jones directed low-budget 50s inspired big bug flick. And it doesn’t hurt to Gunnar Hansen slicing and dicing mosquitoes with a big chainsaw! Synapse Films of course does their best in not only cleaning up the original film but giving fans a great documentary on the film and adding in a commentary and deleted scenes. I have always been a fan of this low budget monster bug movie and now seeing it 20 years later on Blu-ray may have improved the entertaining experience that much more as I am thankful for that. I give the movie 3 stars and the Blu-ray package 4 out of 4 stars. You can find the Blu-ray at www.synapse-films.com .
Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………
You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!
Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.
And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Cinema Wasteland October 2-4, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.cinemawasteland.com for more details on the convention.
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