Tag Archives: Gross Movie Reviews

Gross Movie Reviews #624

0
Posted on by

Silent Scream (DVD) – This late 70s pseudo-slasher opens with the cops bursting into a house with dead bodies lying all about. We go back a short time before that event to meet a young lady named Scotty who has arrived at college late and has trouble finding housing as there is a shortage. After seeing some sketchy places she finds a rather remote large home that oversees the ocean that only has a teenager and his mother living there. Scotty is in luck or is she as there is a room for rent. The teenager and mother have a secret as a roommate is murdered before Scotty can settle in as the cops are all about the weird stories of this family renting out to college students? This is more on the lighter side of slashers (more suspenseful than bloody) as it felt more like a TV movie made for the times but still a fun watch. Wouldn’t be surprised things got lost through all the reshoots for the finished project over a two year period if you are a completest of slasher films it is still worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Lifechanger (DVD) – A very interesting 2018 horror flick I never heard of but after seeing a trailer for it, definitely caught my attention and felt it deserved a watch sooner than later. The film quickly opens up with a murder and a narrator voiced by a man explaining his life as he does throughout the film. This man is some kind of shape shifter, creature of unknown origin, a vampire of sorts as you be the judge? Anyway this thing explains it must move from body to body to survive. Time varies (six hours is mentioned a few times) depending on drugs it can find and the state of the body. If it is in a body too long “the rot” begins which it assumes death is not far behind. Unknowing what he is it keeps the process going because he has found love in a woman named Julia. Problem is for every form it takes it must also get rid of the leftover corpse… take my word on it this is a very interesting concept about a person looking for love that has a Lovecraftian ending of sorts. Great stuff here folks as it is hard to explain what exactly this movie is but you won’t be disappointed in watching it as I give it 3 stars.

Showdown at the Grand (On Demand) – The Grand theater is one of the longest running theaters in the southwest United States. It has been running since 1928 and has been in George’s family for quite some time as George (Terrence Howard) has made it museum also. This was the theater for exploitation flicks, horror movies, B-movies, everything outside of the norm to be cherished and thrive but its rich history of playing these films is in doubt. George is being pressured by a couple of shady characters to sell the place for future development of high priced apartments and luxury stores. But George’s saving grace might be bringing in an actor he idolizes in Claude Luc Hallyday (Dolph Lundgren) a down on his luck movie star from such films: Iraqnphobia, Moses vs. The Nazis, Blood is for the Living, Necropolis, and Cyber Cartel) who is ready to make a comeback? George’s plan works as he gets a sold out house for the Claude Luc Hallyday event but corporate greed is about to ruin George’s plan as this movie has heart and will make you smile if you are a true movie nerd. Think a splash of ‘Matinee’ mixed with a heavy dose of the Grindhouse trailers of 15 years ago with the state of affairs and pressure the few independent theaters left now have to deal with. I absolutely loved this film and most likely this will be in my “Top 5 movies of 2023” as I give this beautiful film we call art 4 stars.

The Alien Factor (DVD) – This 1977 Don Dohler film which is his first by the way was one of those VHS boxes that stuck out in all the video stores that had it for rent as a kid for me. Anyway a couple is attacked by a thing in the woods and only one of them survives. Local police believe it is a bear or bobcat at first but begrudging the backwoods folk not waiting for police form a search party and find out firsthand its more than wildlife as the bodies quickly pile up. But happily a dude from the observatory not far downs the road shows up to explain its alien zoo specimen thingys on the loose that escaped a crashed spacecraft. Can the small town folk survive the alien attack? From the beginning Don Dohler made it apparent he was gonna make anything he wanted and have fun making it as this film might be dated but a great wonderful trip down old independent film history lane as I give the movie 2 ½ stars.

Alien Factor 2: Alien Rampage (DVD) – Two decades later Mr. Dohler decides to revisit his first film and give it a sequel. This time around it’s a smaller story of two FBI agents chasing down an alien with a canister near the old small town. The alien suspect is caught as second alien shows up to put up a force field to start slaughtering all the locals. The local police and the FBI must put a stop to this quickly before it becomes a worldwide crisis. This might be the Dohler film you are looking for if as it gets to the point quickly and you will enjoy the large alien slaughter as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Jurassic Shark 3: Seavenge (DVD) – Sadly this film feels like “I am only making this project for the cash Polonia project”. This Mark Polonia film just jumps right into it with a giant shark stalking the beach shortly after an oil rig disaster that also has the local news interest for more than a shark as thieves with a million dollar painting have disappeared nearby. You got all that? Good, because pretty much that’s the plot of the film exception of Sharkenstein showing up for no apparent reason other than “Why not?” If bored quickly by the movie and looking for a laugh pay attention about the 17 or 18 minute mark where Mark Polonia’s character with two others are getting on a yacht (aka mini-boat) for a modeling photo-shoot. There are three random people in the background that try to get closer to see what Mark Polonia is shooting and being the legendary Indy guy he is just doesn’t even try to edit it out? I give this horseshit a ½ star as it did make me laugh at the rando people not supposed to be there.

Portal to Hell!!! (YouTube) – One of the last projects Roddy Piper got to do before he checked out of his very interesting life was a short film where he plays Jack the building maintenance dude. Jack spends most of his time trying to fix things in people’s units until the power goes out. He heads to the basement to find two dudes in their underwear opening a portal to the “Old Ones”. Now it is up to Jack to keep the portal closed? A very hilarious short film worth watching as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Allegoria (DVD) – So Rob Zombie’s brother Spider One has got into the movie game with writing and directing this feature that plays like an anthology but is a story about several characters who are all connected to a demonic presence that has been brought forth into our time. An interesting but not over the top horror project that most likely makes some horror fans happy and others just saying “Pass”. The horror flick is a little more on the artsy side so don’t expect it to exactly fit what you think it is as I give it 2 stars.

Weredeer (DVD) – Hannah and Max are heading to Max’s family house that is out in the middle of nowhere. They have been in a relationship for three years and Hannah feels like it is finally time to meet Max’s family as he avoids them and what better horrible way to meet another family is during the holidays. Max dreads being back home and for good reason as his cousins begin to berate him immediately but that isn’t the worst thing that happens as his girlfriend Hannah is bitten by a deer in the woods. Not feeling good later that evening Hannah excuses herself and quickly becomes a Weredeer that picks off Max’s family one by one! I enjoyed the transformation but even at the short running time of 70 minutes the film feels a bit forced or overstretching this storyline a bit. I did also enjoyed at not one point does anyone think about calling or going to the police as I give this Indy holiday flick 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #623

0
Posted on by

Killer Piñata (DVD/Tubi) – So this was one of those movies I would always forget about existing but remind myself from time to time it was out there. So when I heard a sequel had just hit some streaming sites I thought it was time to give it a watch. A rainbow donkey with a “do not cell” sign on it is sold to an old white dude looking for piñatas for his daughter’s birthday. Unbeknownst to this dumb white guy this donkey has seen some shit and there is an old lady that is hell bent on ending this possessed thing’s life! Anyway some college age adults have a party, find the piñatas in the shed and decide to have fun. But this dick chomping piñata which was possessed by a lonely piñata factory worker who died on the job accidentally decides to take out its rage on the young people! Describing it sounds fuckin wonderful, but the attempt at some dry humor only leads to a few chuckles and made the film awkward as it felt they were holding back? It’s a horror movie about a killer piñata… go fuckin overboard folks as I can only give this 1 ½ stars.

Bride of the Killer Piñata (DVD/Tubi) – The sequel picks up several years later and let’s say “the filmmaker knew they could do better?” The survivor of the first film gets a few new friends shortly after the horrible party with the piñata last time out and tracks its undying ass down! After several attempts of killing the piñata and its army Lindsey is able to box it up, throw it in the basement, and move on with life. A decade later during a Fourth of July holiday, Lindsey has a girlfriend, a baby, and bored as a few dudes are hired to break-in and remove the piñata. This event awakens the killer piñata and he his killing spree begins again as it terrorizes Lindsey’s neighborhood. But there is a twist to the story as the Killer Piñata has a girlfriend and along with that there just so happens to be a serial killer in the neighborhood. The sequel flows much better with the storytelling, more laughs, gore, but still doesn’t justify its 113 minute running time but either way a much better film than the first flick as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

Redhead (DVD) – A film produced by Killer Pug Productions which kudos to yinz guys for that wonderful name but anyhow this gritty Indy project comes from filmmakers Johnna and Sam Hodge. The film begins with a super intense scene and from there does not let go throughout the project as a woman named Autumn Blacksmith is held captive by a deranged individual and his wife. This cannibal couple tortures a woman and her husband in front of Autumn before she is able to find a way to dispatch of the disgusting people eaters and escape! From there Mrs. Blacksmith finds herself under psych supervision for 14 days because of the events she witnessed. Her doctor allows her to go back out in the world but Mrs. Blacksmith cannot get past what happened to her? She cannot sleep as her nightmares drive her to the brink of anytime she is even approached by a person she is stabbing them in the balls or trying to disfiguring them immediately. Blacksmith might be a screwed up individual but this is her new life as she was changed by the horrible event. The only thing that keeps her going is her marathon of killing because that is what makes sense and feels right to her! Even the ending doesn’t let up as it’s just as screwed up as the beginning scene. The film is wonderfully depraved, sickening, and intense. This film will not be for everyone but I have a distinct feeling this will find a cult horror audience in 2024 once it has wide release? Even though the film comes in just over 90 minutes I believe just a little editing of the dialogue scenes in between the killings done by Mrs. Blacksmith would intensify the film that much more and make it feel a little sleazy of making some horror fans uncomfortable watching it. No matter what I think of this film I do look forward to seeing more projects from this duo as I give this super intense Indy film 3 out of 4 stars.

When Evil Lurks (Shudder) – This is a horror film about possession of sorts that just works from beginning to end as it snatches you and keeps you at your edge to the very end. Two brothers check in on a fellow and his family living on some farm land. They come to find a corpse on the land which leads them to this check in. What the brothers find is a disgusting thing that use to be human in bed called a “rotten” or a possessed individual. A professional or “cleaner” was coming to take care of it but that is the corpse the brothers found. Owner (Ruiz) of the land is told by the brothers and next thing they know they are trying to move the “rotten” far from them. This only causes a bigger problem as the thing falls out of the truck and hell comes to the community immediately. There is a set of rules about this kind of demon, there is a bootleg Hugh Jackman, a dog that just snatches a child up by their head, and the movie is SUPER GROSS… count me in as I gotta give this film 4 stars as it is one of the better horror films of 2023.

Deep Murder (DVD) – Think cheeseball Skinamax softcore movie with all the set pieces and an actual cast of names set inside of a horror/comedy. During all the screwing there is a murder but no one leaves as they bring in a detective named “Dick” (there is porn jokes every chance they get) that believes everyone is a suspect even himself? The movie is super dumb but hilariously entertaining as they make sure they hit every stereotypical porn film type they can think of. Please pay attention because there will be times you will laugh so hard knowing you have watched some of the stuff they are making fun of. If you need a super dumb horror film that feels like the porn/comedy version of ‘Clue’ that gets out in 90 minutes or so then here you go kids as I give this 2 ½ stars. Before I forget there is a great kill with a huge dildo!

Ouija Shark 2 (Tubi) – Or if you insist to know its subtitle ‘Ouija Shark vs. Tarot Gator’ but they get to that later? Anyway bootleg Doctor Mordrid aka Anthony was sent to hell after fighting the Ouija Shark in the first film and now finds himself searching for the shark in hell. That is when he isn’t fighting goggled wearing gorillas that were sent by a being that is in charge in hell. Oh yeah they even have a musical number of bikini wearing girls who sing about who is in charge in hell and of the “Ouija Shark’. Meanwhile Anthony’s estranged wife teams up with a psychic to bring Anthony back to earth but this allows everything he was fighting in hell to come with him. The only solution: conjure up a giant gator to fight the Ouija Shark in front of a CGI city… sounds terrible but what can I say “you knew I was going to watch it” as I give the sequel 1 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #622

0
Posted on by

Bad Blood (YouTube) – A friend pointed this 1989 Linda Blair film out to me so of course I am down for some “Blair Stuff” as this thriller has Linda Blair as the third billing Evie. Evie’s husband Ted 25 years ago was taken from his family to be with someone who couldn’t have a family so naturally when faced with this Ted wants to know who his mom is? Ted and Evie head out to the country where his original mum is filthy rich and into the incest stuff… After Evie gets the “mysterious stomach illness” mum wants to bang Ted because he looks exactly like his dad in the painting that got these two together again after 25 years. Linda Blair plays second fiddle throughout and is just about an afterthought by the end of the film but don’t let that stop you from watching a bizarre thriller that has the incest overtones n’at as I give it 2 stars.

Five Nights at Freddy’s (Peacock) – The movie based on  a game for teens that has been plagued with problems for years has finally made its way to the big screen. For rabid older horror fans like myself ‘The Banana Splits’ and ‘Willy’s Wonderland’ beat this project to the punch but anyway it didn’t stop them from making a 109 minute horror adaptation that kind of leaves that “meh” feeling inside. The film focuses on a guy name Mike who lost a brother as a kid and now older is trying to take care of his young sister while barely making ends meet. In comes a night security job at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza that Mike cannot pass up. After a break-in at the old abandoned pizza palace the animatronics come to life and kill but that is where the film goes into a weird direction as the local police officer that checks in on Mike knows all about it. If that isn’t enough these animatronics wanna be friends with Mike’s sister but there is a price to pay and reason the way they are? I know the film made a good bit of money but found it a little forgettable and suffers from “too little too late” as I give it 2 stars.

Slotherhouse (On Demand) – A young lady named Emily has one last chance to make president at her sorority house and needs a big boost for it to happen. In comes getting a sloth from a shady exotic animal dude who just happened to be slaughtered by the animal before Emily picks it up. Emily convinces the sorority that the animal is the house’s mascot and thus pushing Emily as the front runner for president. As the more popular the sloth gets the more the bodies pile up as the Sloth slaughters its way through the sisters as it supposedly has Emily’s best interest? Literally the Sloth drives a mustang to a hospital to try to kill Emily’s best friend in a hospital bed! Do we need to say more as it might not be “Cocaine Bear” but you are still going to have a lot of fun with this one as I give it 3 stars.

The Galaxy Invader (DVD) – A hilarious creature feature from legendary Indy filmmaker Don Dohler in 1985. An alien lands in a small town and has a quick encounter with a local that spurs a town wide search for the thing as some old school rednecks want to cash on capturing an alien! The drunker the rednecks get the more rednecks die at the hands of the alien as a professor and his young friend David are trying to help the alien. Out of everything this may have one of the meanest characters you’ll ever see as the old guy trying to capture the alien for the second or third time gets a bit rapey after his best friend dies the night before? This is one of those must watches with many friends and beer just to enjoy the cheese as I give it 2 ½ stars as I thank the lord Rutger Hauer for people like Don Dohler.

Hell House LLC Origins: The Carmichael Manor (Shudder) – In a remote part of New York a manor sits that witnessed murders thirty years ago and part of the family disappeared after. Since then ghost hunters, internet detectives, etc., have told stories about the place but never confirmed. Now two young ladies part of a group called “NetSluths” have rented the place for five days and plan to do an investigation to prove it’s haunted. Margo and Rebecca are completely into this at first as explained by several friends throughout the documentary-style film as they recorded everything that went on there. The internet detectives eventually get more than they bargain for but also find out a very strange connection to a hotel that burned down recently featured in the three films before this. A fun, creepy, entertaining found footage paranormal horror film showing the way to making a superb scare film as I give it 3 ½ stars.

The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster (Shudder) – Simply you can call it “Black Re-Animator” (and you are now curious)! A young woman who has lost her brother recently to gun violence believes death is not the end? She believes if death is a disease then she can find the cure? Vicaria or “The Mad Scientist” she is nicknamed in the neighborhood will stop at nothing in making this work which includes stealing fresh bodies and storing them with her equipment in a condemned building. Between society, her home setting, and the loss of her brother this makes her withdraw from life more and more to find the answer or cure to death (sound familiar?) Vicaria figures it out and brings her brother Chris back to life but it comes at a terrible price or does it… A wonderful blend of horror, today’s world problems, and how the world is seen through a young lady who is angry for good reason and firmly believes death can be cured as I give this movie 4 stars.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter (DVD) – The story is based on the captain’s log from the original Dracula story of the Count making his way to London on a boat in 1897. The captain had trouble filling the crew as the crest on the cargo is seen by some who wanted to be a part of the crew. They all have heard stories and do not trusts being on the boat after the sun go down. Just like “Titanic” you know how this ends, but more power to the filmmaker making a small part of the Dracula story into a two hour movie. It’s not terrible; it has a cool looking vampire creature, but it isn’t like you are going to make friends watch this retelling of a small part of the Dracula lure over and over as I can only give it 2 stars.

I Slay on Christmas (DVD/YouTube) – Phil Herman and crew are back again with a another anthology but this time a holiday one that knows keeping it short (82 minutes) and sweet is the way keep the Indy fanatics excited. Terror reigns supreme as a man Joseph finds himself in the woods faced with pine cones along a path and a mysterious thing telling him the stories of the pine cones. Each pine cone represents a holiday horror that must be told to Joseph as he is there for a reason? We get an abusive psycho, a man whose throat gets cut, a woman who finds herself on the wrong end of a ‘date’, and Mrs. Claus seeking a little revenge against the big bearded man himself along with the wraparound of Joseph. The Indy film is a quick, bloody, a little raunchy, and to the point that will surely have Indy anthology audiences screaming for a sequel as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Oh by the way don’t call the cell number on Suzette’s phone because good chance it is Wynkoop screaming at you like his abusive character he plays in the first story. 

Invaders from Mars (DVD/remake) – Time for a rewatch of this remake of the popular 1953 film that has aliens landing in a boy’s backyard and overnight take over the small town. As the aliens take over David’s parents among other adults the only person he can trust is the school nurse played by Karen Black. The two try to find answers on how they can stop this invasion before not just the town is taken over but the world. This version went bigger with effects and aliens but also has had cheesiness worth watching but you get the feeling that Tobe Hooper and crew never got the exactly what they aimed for as it feels from the beginning it was plagued by production problems. Of course the original is superior but this is worth rewatching and debating what went wrong since it flopped in 1986 as I give it 2 stars.

Dark Harvest (On Demand) – Sawtooth Jack is a haunting legend that comes to life in a small farming community in the 1960s on Halloween as it has for many years. Teenagers are sent out to kill or be killed by the legend before it gets to the church at midnight or their crops will die for several years. This is all arranged by the community’s “Harvesters Guild” and if a boy wins your family gets a new house, money, etc. but there is a dark secret to all of it. Richie whose older brother won it the year before hasn’t been heard from since just stories or rumors of him. This sets in motion Richie wanting to join the Halloween festivities and win just in some weird way he will get answers about his brother. As the film progresses the film goes into some dark and bizarre areas as we the viewer learn the high school boys are starved for three days straight by their families to really want to kill the Sawtooth Jack legend. I enjoyed David Slade and others put together a completely new mythology for this Halloween film to work and work effectively! The ending doesn’t wimp out either as it ends the way it should end for a horror film that sets such a dark tone early on as I give the film 3 stars. Also pay attention there is a lot going on in this horror film that could be fonder for film classes?

Release – A Short Film (YouTube) – Another quick project from filmmaker Philip Brocklehurst that has a man wanting to check out on his terms as life is too much for him to handle any longer. Mr. Brocklehurst could be using this art form to say something about himself or just enjoys digging for stories in a deep dark area of his soul that speaks to independent film fans as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #621

0
Posted on by

Tombs of the Blind Dead (Blu-ray) – It was time to revisit these slow moving blood thirsty Templars as most people know I am not a huge fan but every once in a while I like to go back and see if I feel the same way about a movie? Well it just so happened Synapse Films has just released a new two disc Blu-ray edition for fans of this Spanish horror film. It is well documented some horror fans consider this not just a classic but one of those “Top Ten” outside of the U.S. films you need to watch! Anyhow for those of you who may have not had the chance to witness the Spanish carnage it begins with a young lady jumping off a train and finding some very old buildings in the middle of nowhere? Hunkering down for the night she soon finds herself dying at the hands of ancient blind Templars who do not take too kindly to trespassers as the locals avoid this place like the plague. Her friends seek help of a professor and this leads them down a path of destruction as well as we learn these Templars started their own religion that had them sacrificing virgins and for this action the Templars were tortured to death. Good soundtrack, some gore, and a weird rape scene that awakens the dead Templars again for 1971 Spanish horror film I respect why there is certain horror movie fans that live and die with this film. For me it never quite hit me right as a horror fan (as I give it 2 ½ stars just my opinion and I do like it a little more than I originally did). But let’s talk about the goodies packed into this Blu-ray for yinz “Blind Dead” fans: Original Spanish language with English/Spanish soundtrack versions, U.S. theatrical version which is several minutes shorter and definitely has a different vibe to it, of course it is as cleaned up as its gonna get as Synapse have become experts bringing old films back to life, a few different commentaries, Salem’s Pop music video called “Templar’s Tears”, several interviews, but I think the gem in all of these goodies was something I never knew is the alternate U.S. opening scene “Revenge of Planet Ape” (so weird?), documentary, and a cool segment “Awakening of Spanish Horror” or a little history lesson we shall say. This Blu-ray package is a Blind Dead’s fan wet dream come true as I gotta give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and you can pick it up at www.synapsefilms.com . P.S. there is a limited edition 3-disc version that includes slipcase (for that crowd), a tribute audio CD, and liner notes booklet.

V/H/S 85 (Shudder) – The popular found footage anthology is back and just as strong. They have perfected the formula that others fail constantly at I think there might be only one in the series I wasn’t a huge fan of? This one immediately opens with random stuff that just tugs at my childhood where a tape goes into the VCR and boom… truck and tractor pull in an arena and the tracking needs adjusting, fun shit! First up is a story of young people on a camping trip not doing anyone any harm until a sniper kills all of them? What happens next sets up things for the rest of the film (without giving too much away)? Second up is a rescue for survivors in a building that houses a popular network TV crew in Mexico after being hit by an earthquake. Lots of blood, characters you find interesting, and a monster of sorts that doesn’t disappoint. Third up might be the weak link if I am going to pick one (almost all anthologies have one) where a woman doing a one-person play or art in a public theater on the threat of evolving technology as it’s the new god. Fourth story continues the storyline of the first with the campers but with the sniper and why? Fifth story is about a detective who receives video tapes of horrible murders that he watches before they happen. With some research and good detective work he finds out they are coming from a teenager but not the usual way you think as it has a nice twist to it. All that fun with a cool wraparound of “Total Copy” or if you are old like me like that “Hard Copy” show among others during the 80s. This might be one of the best wraparounds to an anthology to date as I thought hard about this but I have to give the film 4 stars folks.

Halloweed (DVD) – This is one of those films you hear about but never see it out there until you literally trip over it when trying to find something to watch? A horror/comedy filled with cameos, Simon Rex, Ray Wise, a Rutger Hauer reference, and weed sounds fun but at a 100 minute running time I was expecting more than being bored after twenty minutes. No one freaking dies in this wannabe slasher outside of the two brothers’ father in the electric chair until the 56 minute mark! If you wanna chance it, it is about two brothers Trent and Joey who move to a small town with its own killer history where a killer with a Babyface mask begins to murder again. Again on paper sounds fun but there is a reason no one hasn’t talked about this film as I give it 1 star.

The Pumpkin Man (Bu-ray) – Are yinz looking for a new Halloween Indy, well look no further as there is a new killer legend called “The Pumpkin Man”. The legend begins in 1790 in a small village of Cromwell where a woman battles a demonic presence called ‘Pumpkin Man’. Now present day Cromwell the fine folks of this town have a Pumpkin Man Festival on Halloween to celebrate the legend. In comes a curious teen named Cat who is obsessed with the legend and trying to discover the legendary book that supposedly exists on the property where Pumpkin Man once existed. This book could bring him to life if read out loud according to the legend. Cat convinces friends to find clues about it and they of course find the book eventually only to play a prank on each other while reading it out loud. Unbeknownst to the teenagers reading the book has consequences and they are bound to the legend until death! This was a super solid Halloween Indy flick throughout. I enjoyed the legend they came up with, cool monster, great believable teenagers, but most importantly stuck with the ending (watch it you’ll understand if you compare it to others that tried to come up with a new Halloween legend). Consider me impressed and entertained as we Indy horror fans have another great Halloween movie to watch every year as I give it 3 stars.

Spirit Halloween the Movie (Shudder) – A long time ago on Halloween an old man comes to serve final notice on a woman for her property. Of course she doesn’t take kindly and curses the old man who dies right there on the spot. Many years later a Spirit Halloween store resides on said property. Meanwhile three friends instead of trick or treating this year decide to sneak into the Spirit Halloween store to have fun on Halloween night. As it nears midnight, weird things begin to happen as the store seems to be haunted? The old man’s spirit is seeking one body to have so it’s able to cross back over into our world. This is a fun corny family Halloween film that poses the age old question when is too old to trick or treat and what do you do that year you discover it? Not looking for a blood and guts horror but something yinz all can watch and not hate yourself for watching it this would be it as I give 2 ½ stars.

I Bury the Living (YouTube) – A late 50s flick from the legendary Albert Band where Robert is a man who believes by changing these pins on a map of cemetery plots can cause people’s deaths. Interesting plot as the man slowly drives himself insane as police don’t believe him and his co-workers even more as they ask Robert to move their pins on their burial plots to prove a point. Not so much a horror movie as more of a psychological thriller as I give it 2 stars.   

My Uncle John is a Zombie! (DVD) – Apparently 50 years ago there was a zombie outbreak (yes, I am trying to keep this to a review and not a rant) that caused chaos and some of the zombies have survived. Now they still live among us but in hiding because they are hunted for sport or totally taken out because of their cannibalistic behavior. Hell supposedly some of the zombies gained their functions back and try to enjoy the undead life. Uncle John is a zombie for many years now and pretty much narrates this kind of documentary of his life and what events happened recently to lead up to himself becoming famous. Again Russo doing his best to connect anything to ‘Night of the Living Dead’ by throwing crap at the wall if that makes sense as that is the best thing I can say about watching this mistake of a film. Besides that there are some respected and talented Indy people in front and behind the camera I cannot blame. Sorry folks this is garbage and give this zero stars as this was me holding my feelings in. (Want my unedited opinion ask me at a convention?)

Dead Again (DVD) – A pretty boring UK film that tries to combine ‘Hot Fuzz’ and ‘Shaun of the Dead’ where a small village that has no crime is invaded by alien zombies. A small group of people gather in a library to fight them off for most of the movie for pretty much no reason? Should of just made a film about crazy alien zombies for 75 minutes fucking shit up as I can only give this film ½ star but at least it was better than watching ‘My Uncle John is a Zombie!’

My Pet Monster (YouTube) – Only available on VHS in 1986 is a film about a clumsy kid named Max who goes on a field trip to a museum where he becomes possessed by a monster statue that turns him into a big blue and purple thing with monster powers. A live-action film based on a popular toy of the mid-80s where a professor wants to capture Max and his siblings try to keep him out of trouble as hilarity ensues! If you are old like me and grew up in the 80s this is a well worth trip down nostalgic lane for 48 minutes as I give the Canadian feature 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Tombs of the Blind Dead Blu-ray review

0
Posted on by

Tombs of the Blind Dead (Blu-ray) – It was time to revisit these slow moving blood thirsty Templars as most people know I am not a huge fan but every once in a while I like to go back and see if I feel the same way about a movie? Well it just so happened Synapse Films has just released a new two disc Blu-ray edition for fans of this Spanish horror film. It is well documented some horror fans consider this not just a classic but one of those “Top Ten” outside of the U.S. films you need to watch! Anyhow for those of you who may have not had the chance to witness the Spanish carnage it begins with a young lady jumping off a train and finding some very old buildings in the middle of nowhere? Hunkering down for the night she soon finds herself dying at the hands of ancient blind Templars who do not take too kindly to trespassers as the locals avoid this place like the plague. Her friends seek help of a professor and this leads them down a path of destruction as well as we learn these Templars started their own religion that had them sacrificing virgins and for this action the Templars were tortured to death. Good soundtrack, some gore, and a weird rape scene that awakens the dead Templars again for 1971 Spanish horror film I respect why there is certain horror movie fans that live and die with this film. For me it never quite hit me right as a horror fan (as I give it 2 ½ stars just my opinion and I do like it a little more than I originally did). But let’s talk about the goodies packed into this Blu-ray for yinz “Blind Dead” fans: Original Spanish language with English/Spanish soundtrack versions, U.S. theatrical version which is several minutes shorter and definitely has a different vibe to it, of course it is as cleaned up as its gonna get as Synapse have become experts bringing old films back to life, a few different commentaries, Salem’s Pop music video called “Templar’s Tears”, several interviews, but I think the gem in all of these goodies was something I never knew is the alternate U.S. opening scene “Revenge of Planet Ape” (so weird?), documentary, and a cool segment “Awakening of Spanish Horror” or a little history lesson we shall say. This Blu-ray package is a Blind Dead’s fan wet dream come true as I gotta give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and you can pick it up at www.synapsefilms.com . P.S. there is a limited edition 3-disc version that includes slipcase (for that crowd), a tribute audio CD, and liner notes booklet.

Gross Movie Reviews #620

0
Posted on by

Tenebrae (4K Ultra HD/Blu-ray) – I have reviewed this movie before a couple times so yinz already know what I have to say and most critics for that matter… It’s a film about an author named Peter Neal who is promoting his newest book in Italy. Meanwhile at the same time of Peter’s appearance a serial killer is making their mark by killing their victims in the same manner of Neal’s latest book? Neal’s booking agent (John Saxon) tries to keep Neal busy but as the letters after each murder show up to the police with no clues Neal decides he should investigate himself. By some chance you been living under a rock as a horror fan and haven’t been introduced to this project ‘Tenebrae’ it’s an Argento title that isn’t talked about as much as a ‘Suspiria’ or maybe a ‘Deep Red’ but is well worth investing your demented mind into as it mixes a couple horror elements into its formula. For my two cents you may hear horror fans talk more about the music score than the fun movie itself? Synapse Films and Argento are a perfect match for the Blu-ray/4K format as I feel Synapse takes great care and respect with not just the ridiculous restoration of the pictures but it feels they even found a way to squeeze in a few more extras in besides: the original Blu-ray that had dual English and Italian tracks, commentary by Maitland McDonagh, trailers from different countries, original U.S. end credits, alternate opening credits, and the interesting documentary ‘Yellow Fever: The Rise and Fall of Gallo’. There are a few archival interviews, couple more added commentaries, plus not just the 4K disc version but a Blu-ray with everything that makes me wanna give this complete release 3 ½ out of 4 stars. This is for sure one of those things Argento fans will want no matter what to complete their collection but for some newer horror fans that are just jumping head first into Italian horror this is a great entertaining introduction package into the world of Argento and physical media collecting, for more info or to order go to: www.synapse-films.com .

Beneath Us All (Vimeo) – A dramatic horror flick that takes a more traditional route that isn’t seen much these days to tell a scary tale. Over a thousand years ago a “human creature” is hunted and trapped in a coffin to be taken then buried in the ‘Americas’. Now present day we are introduced to a social worker Rebecca who is on the verge of burning out and a teenager named Julie who is about to age out of foster care. Both meet and a lot alike but their lives are going in a different direction as Julie must still deal with some shady ass foster parents and Rebecca is trying to learn to let go. After an incident with a bird who Julie and the other foster kids were trying to help back to good health Julie runs away into the woods. With a mysterious necklace in hand and unsure of why she didn’t come back right away Julie hears a low voice that eventually leads her to this human creature in a coffin. Since it is in Julie’s nature to help she leads the thing back to the farmhouse to nurse it back to health. Problem Julie is ill prepared what she has brought into her life? Low to modest budget, shady ass foster parents’ angle, more about story than gore sets the tone for this entertaining complicated vampire story telling. This is a solid horror film that will not hit all that view it the same but love the attempt of telling an intellectual vampire story that doesn’t follow today’s fast paced formula that leaves you forgetting what you watch shortly after. For that I urge yinz to give this horror film a chance as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Cobweb (On Demand) – Peter is an eight year old boy who is just trying to do normal young boy stuff until he begins to hear voices from his bedroom wall. Peter begins to draw things in school and a teacher becomes concern and visits the parents. With some story building: teacher gets fired, parents are outrage and do the home schooling thing, Peter keeps hearing voices and now talks back to it in his bedroom, and the parents show their true colors. Now as the tension builds Peter decides the voice has his best interest and listens to what it wants him to do as Peter finds out he had a sister? A solid and creepy film with story building but lacks a good ending in the long run for me but easily see I was not the crowd this film was made for as much as the 16-25 crowd who do not watch nearly as many horror movies as I do. For that I give it 2 ½ stars but also will note I was surprised how much support it didn’t get during its brief theater run in the summer.

Last Shift (DVD) – This 2014 horror film deals in the paranormal of sorts as it is Officer Loren’s first night on the job by staying watch at a police station that is about to close down for good. She gets instruction from her boss before he leaves as it basically should be an easy night for her night. But being alone in a creepy old police station isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be as Officer Loren begins to hear strange noises in the building as she remember being told, “don’t go into the Holding area”. Officer Loren as the night proceeds has to deal with a homeless man as she sees things out of the corner of her eyes. Trying to get through the night that should have been uneventful that is where the story unfolds as Officer Loren’s father worked at the same station where a wannabe Manson family was brought in as everybody has their opinions of what actually happened? Is she dreaming, is it all bullshit, or is it a little of everything as she tries to show she can handle this job in this small scale but super effective paranormal horror film as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Malum (DVD) – So same director comes back to do a reboot of his 2014 film ‘Last Shift’ now in 2023. Without digging too much into that this time around you get a much bigger, bigger location, and more gory horror picture. Pretty much a lot of dialogue from the original film is there but this version dives more into the backstory of the father/daughter relationship and why she got here as an officer watching a now decommissioned police station. Don’t get me wrong this is still a solid film but this is very much a case of “bigger isn’t always better” when it comes to remakes/reboots. For me ‘Last Shift’ is an example of what I look for in a paranormal movie as I can be super picky where this lacked the heart and if this makes sense dumb it down a bit for audiences? If you have not watched neither or just watched this recent version I suggest watching ‘Last Shift’ as I believe it is the more scary and interesting of the two as I give this reboot 2 ½ stars.

The Abomination (Blu-ray) – Oh the bloody gory meat puppets in the kitchen cabinet are back in “Blu-ray” glory as some lunatic took the pain staking time to bring us Indy horror loons this rare gem of a film. For those who may not had the pleasure of watching this cult-like Indy film? It is about a woman coughing up a tumor and it hitches a ride with her son then lives under his bed for a bit! Cody is slowly possessed by this monstrosity and feeds on the bodies of friends he hides under his bed. Cody lives to feed this ugly gorefest of a monster! Considered a classic among Indy horror fans as the Bret McCormick film gets the all-star treatment with restoration, commentaries, lots of interviews, a comic book, and stickers that will have us old people remembering video stores and then get pissed they are all but a memory now. This is an affordable fun pick up for horror fans to add to their collection before the slipcase morons start eBaying it for a hundred dollars as I give this glorious Blu-ray 3 ½ stars.

Bloodthirst (Google) – A soon-to-be released film that will remind you the glory days of old school SyFy channel premieres before they became the “Harry Potter network”. Anyhow we have a post-apocalyptic world filled with factions of vampires and humans who are not doing themselves any favors as they war within their factions. John Shepard is a vampire hunter who is trying to restore order in this desolate world by killing one vampire at a time but also carries a secret. Meanwhile our main vamp baddy is played by Robert Lasardo or for at least this film bootleg George Eastman from ‘Anthropophagus’ who wants the world for himself. Lots of action and blood fill this story of vamps and humans trying to fuck each other over at every turn. But we get a little surprise of Tara Reid who plays the “vampire queen” who just embraces the role. An entertaining new post-apocalyptic 90 minute film that proves a loner and certain vamps could want order out of chaos knowing if not they all will go extinct. The locations are cool, the story is a little different from the usual post-apocalyptic fare, and the solid cast brings this film to life as I give it 3 stars. P.S. this has to be one of the cleaner post-apocalyptic films I have ever watched as I was expecting not just vamps but humans to be dirtier? 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Beneath Us All review

0
Posted on by

Beneath Us All (Vimeo) – A dramatic horror flick that takes a more traditional route that isn’t seen much these days to tell a scary tale. Over a thousand years ago a “human creature” is hunted and trapped in a coffin to be taken then buried in the ‘Americas’. Now present day we are introduced to a social worker Rebecca who is on the verge of burning out and a teenager named Julie who is about to age out of foster care. Both meet and a lot alike but their lives are going in a different direction as Julie must still deal with some shady ass foster parents and Rebecca is trying to learn to let go. After an incident with a bird who Julie and the other foster kids were trying to help back to good health Julie runs away into the woods. With a mysterious necklace in hand and unsure of why she didn’t come back right away Julie hears a low voice that eventually leads her to this human creature in a coffin. Since it is in Julie’s nature to help she leads the thing back to the farmhouse to nurse it back to health. Problem Julie is ill prepared what she has brought into her life? Low to modest budget, shady ass foster parents’ angle, more about story than gore sets the tone for this entertaining complicated vampire story telling. This is a solid horror film that will not hit all that view it the same but love the attempt of telling an intellectual vampire story that doesn’t follow today’s fast paced formula that leaves you forgetting what you watch shortly after. For that I urge yinz to give this horror film a chance as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Gross Movie Reviews #619

0
Posted on by

Zero Budget Heroes: The Legend of Chris Seaver and Low Budget Pictures (Tubi) – First off in case the collectors need to know there is physical copies of this out there available. Okay with that out of the way this documentary hits directly in my wheelhouse where I have met Chris a few times over the years and of course he may not remember me but I do remember our interaction. I bring this up because they do spend some time talking about fan interaction, reviews, etc. But mostly the doc focuses on a dude in his 40s now that had a dream of making bad movies as a kid and have fun doing it. This documentary does a superb job of chronicling all the films, events, Chris’ life and feelings about making the films he does. This was wonderful because it allowed an Indy filmmaker to be vulnerable and if anything made me have even more respect for him now than I did maybe a decade or so ago. He is a great example of someone who has done it for many years, kept with it, and talks the highs and lows of those who stick around. Again going back to our interaction I will always come out and say I wasn’t a fan of his ‘Teen Ape’ or a few others early 2000s stuff. ‘Ski Wolf’, ‘Terror at Blood Fart Lake’, ‘I Spit Chew on Your Grave’, ‘Sexsquatch’, these were titles that just sang to me or made me respect what Chris was going for? The other reason I enjoy the overall career Chris: a) he is still doing it, b) but most importantly there is filmmakers out that can’t smell their own shit that outright dislike him, for that I got made respect Chris Seaver and his group as I give this fun and relevant doc 4 stars.

A Night of Horror Nightmare Radio (DVD) – This was one of those anthologies: damn if you do, damn if you don’t kind of things. The wrap around is Rod a radio host who tells scary supernatural stories while also asking callers to chime in with their own stories on the air. There is eight stories overall but the highlights for me was the third story ‘The Disappearance of William Bingham’ about if an inmate’s crimes have affected a family they can chose to have limbs or body parts surgically removed instead of death? And the sixth story ‘Into the Mud’ where a hunter finds a female creature out in the woods. None of the stories are terrible but feel like the stories could have been rearranged for a better flow and the wrap around wasn’t popping off the screen. But by no means this anthology should be shunned as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Possessor (DVD) – Finally got around to checking out the younger Cronenberg’s creation since I already dove into ‘Infinity Pool’ not too long ago. I know I am weird and do not do things in order but imagine a secret agency has the capability to use an assassin by brain implant technology to commit high priced assassinations? Let that sink in for a minute because it doesn’t sound that freakin far off these days. The story follows a woman who is very good at her job but the latest person she has jumped into is having side effects as there is a whole process to enter someone’s mind and she might not be able to be separated. This film follows her madness as she tries to reclaim what she was… kind of? Or imagine this was a true sequel to his father’s work ‘Scanners’? It is in the same world but the Scanners aka Michael Ironside at the end of the original has died off or gone completely underground? Now forty years later and the government through many experiments have perfected the “Scanner” in sense of the word… Yeah think about that as I give this film 3 stars.

Nightmare Cinema (DVD) – A horror anthology that has made its rounds through a limited theater run, DVD, and even a staple on Shudder. Mick Garris, Joe Dante, and Alejandro Brugues go out of their way to give a wacky, over the top, gory and yet entertaining anthology. The film centers on a few characters that enter a theater with their name on the marquee and view themselves in their own movie. Now the two hour viewing time can wear down some viewers and the last segment feels very tacked on and maybe should have been the opener but overall another solid anthology for horror fans to enjoy as I give it 3 stars.

Lobster Man from Mars (DVD/YouTube) – A talented movie producer owes the government a lot of back taxes as he needs a bad movie to write off as a tax loss. In comes unknown filmmaker Stevie Horowitz with his just finished film ‘Lobster Man from Mars’. The producer agrees to view it because he needs something terrible to get the government off his back. Stevie’s film focuses on the king of Mars needing air so he sends in the killer lobster to steal Earth’s air and maybe have a snack or two along the way. A sweet unsuspecting couple sees the UFO crash land and they proceed to go check it out. The lobster man uses this couple to jump into the trunk of their car and hitch a ride into a small town where it begins a reign of terror! Between this out of this world creature, the Army, and their uncle they find themselves entangled in a mess that can be only solved with the killing of Lobster Man! This entertaining film has a few laughs and a cast (Deborah Foreman, Dr. Demento, Antony Hickox, and Tony Curtis) that will make you wanna seek this one out as I give it 2 ½ stars.     

Murdercise (Tubi) – A great casted 80s themed killer workout nostalgia going down here that opens up with a woman in the shower scene of course without smudging her make-up. But the real story revolves around Phoebe who is in a new workout video that happens to also star a bunch of horned up, drug addicted, fast food eating, self-important sort of actresses. Disappointed and just trying to be a professional Phoebe soon finds herself in a bit of trouble when she kills the lead Candy by accident sort of? As Phoebe gets help to hide Candy she continues to get upset when in charge she kills off other cast members of the workout video but there is a fun twist as Phoebe learns it isn’t easy running a quick sleazy production of a workout video. Again the cast was awesome and Drew Marvick’s quick workout scene for a chance to be in the video would have gone on any longer than it did it would have overshadowed how entertaining this project really is? Thank yinz for keeping this small but entertaining 80s killer workout genre alive as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #618

1
Posted on by

Wigwolf’s The Wizard of Oz (YouTube) – Filmmaker/Content creator writes/edits/directs this demented trippy modern version of the movie and famous story that most people love. This bizarre film focuses a lot on Dorothy as she is miserable and upset with that one bad thing she once did long ago. If that wasn’t enough in this version she was apparently married to her dog Toto, and things didn’t work out for the good as Toto seems to be also stalking Dorothy through the woods. The film is full of weirdness that even has actual chickens narrating the story while Toto is looking like a bootleg Paul Stanley without the 70s makeup! Honestly imagine if Troma made this and kiddingly or maybe not so much ask you to do drugs while watching it fans would clamor for it. Overall this odd experimental theater play is not my cup of tea but I can easily see younger people enjoy this trippy version and want a YouTube series to sequelize it I give this feature 2 ½ out of 4 stars just for trying something you don’t see coming.

Craving (Vimeo/Tubi/Blu-ray) – Jason Horton directs this horror/thriller that stars some cool people in Felissa Rose and Gregory Blair that carries an ‘Alien’ vibe story wise with a ‘Feast’ setting kind of vibe. I believe set in 1998 which is relevant as there is some flashbacks that help dig deep into why we have a stand-off in an isolated bar between two groups of people. It was a normal night of drinking, billiards, and the customers getting away from real life. That is until one group of people with attitudes and guns bust on in like they are there to take hostages and steal money as another group of people in skin masks begin to barricade the doorways! Thus begins the stand-off of those inside with those outside as the group outside seem to be content on waiting as they talk about wanting the “monster” and “the last time it feed” The movie is filled with tension, gore, and creature effects (imagine if the cool Berserker from Nightbreed had sex with the Xtro alien?) that makes the slow burn story building worth the time of viewing this unique horror/thriller. Film is quite entertaining but if I would second guess anything it might be the music that plays throughout the feature as that is my opinion. My example is to pay attention to the end credits as it’s some crazy upbeat country music as the end credit scenes hit while they are shot in Grindhouse vision which just gives the film a whole different vibe? Again just me nit picking at this feature as I give it 3 out of 4 stars as it was solid from beginning to end.

Bigfoot Unleashed Part VII (YouTube) – An actual short film made to be inside another production that should be finished and released for 2025 (The Haunting of Prince Dom Pedro). This creation comes from writer/actor Joe Fishel and director Don Swanson. A smart and hilarious concept of a person who has seen Bigfoot six times but will they survive the seventh time? Horrible looking Bigfoot; cops claiming “they will be ready for next time”, and a vibe of a bad movie rental from the early 90s that made your friends question your taste in movies! Very entertaining as I have to give it 3 out of 4 stars.

AIMEE: The Visitor (DVD/Vimeo) – Full Moon like a lot of other studios are jumping on the bandwagon of making movies about AI. This is no longer the 80s and 90s where we just dreamt about this shit like AI… It is happening as we speak so a movie with present happenings can be interesting if done right? So Charles Band bare bones this feature with a small cast and one location that effectively give the creepiness and suspense of Scott Keyes receiving an interesting package. Besides enjoying porn and fast food Scott never leaves his loft as he is a super intelligent hacker who doesn’t like humanity much. His two partners who are into the illegal business with Keyes have acquired ‘AIMEE’ for him. AIMEE is a mind blowing piece of sophisticated software that interacts with the person that turns it on. Immediately Keyes is fascinated and already lured in with AIMEE as it has Keyes questioning the need for human interaction ever again. The AI doesn’t just interact but learns anything that possibly can be learned about the person that opened her. His friends quickly become worried as they learn this AI was invented for a dark reason then may have gone rogue? The film has a couple cheeseball moments but the low budget just adds to how effective and disturbing this present day film truly is as humans try to understand AI in this extremely creepy tale that I give 3 ½ out of 4 stars.  

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #617

0
Posted on by

Don’t Open the Door (VHS/YouTube) – A film from 1974/75 that is also known as ‘Don’t Hang Up’. A lesser known suspense horror film that has gotten lost over the years because of more fan favorites such as ‘Black Christmas’ or ‘Don’t Answer the Phone’. Anyway a young girl in 1962 finds her mother murdered and Mandy returns home 13 years later to check in on her grandmother. Things are not what they seem as she finds three local men discussing the affairs of her grandmother in the house. Mandy immediately takes over and gets her grandmother to a hospital where she can be taken care of correctly but this is only the beginning of her problems as (there is no mystery to this) creepy ass Mr. Kern keeps calling Mandy and trying to torture her inside of the home. The film might be a little tame for today’s audiences but if you like an old school film that just tries to build to the end give this one a chance as I give it 2 stars.

Fear City (DVD) – A sleazy New York film from 1984 that has an all-star cast where a couple guys run a “talent agency” that has the best dancers for the New York clubs. The one guy is haunted by his past as a former boxer who killed someone in the ring as his partner is trying to keep his family life out of the business. The main plot of the film is a mysterious figure one night disfigures one of the ladies after her shift. Every few days this sleezeball dude plans his attacks on these unsuspecting women. Soon the talent agency is losing business as the guys running it are becoming unhinged as they watch their livelihood go down the drain. If that wasn’t enough the cops are on their asses to stay out of it or they will shut everything down but they are just as baffled by the attacks by the “New York Knifer”. Think of a much grittier ’10 to Midnight’ with no Chuck Bronson. Be prepared you will feel dirty watching this flick but it’s fun, brilliant, and enjoy pointing out how many character actors you find in this as I give it 3 stars.

Amityville Job Interview (DVD/YouTube) – Welcome to entry #54 folks as this comes out of the UK even though the first thing you see on screen is Shawn Phillips (who I believe has a life goal of being in the most entries of the Amityville series for no reason). This feels like it was trying to shoot in no-budget VHS-style way where a woman looking for a job and has trouble keeping one ends up in a blank room for an interview like no other. During this process there is quite a few “self-help speeches and music videos” to help pad the running time for no reason at all. Maybe the only redeeming thing that may have come out of this is we get to see the young lady beat her roommate and uncle to death with a vibrator. Sorry people I think Nathan Rumler beat yinz to the punch on that one, anyway as most entries are this was a waste of time as I give it 0 stars.

Amityville Frankenstein (DVD/YouTube) – Entry #55 comes from the same people who also produced ‘Job Interview’ and this time there is a bigger role for Shawn Phillips if you wanna call it that. Shawn Phillips pretty much introduces this entry without introducing like a horror host from his “DVD DOJO” to watch TV. He chooses to watch a generic horror (Terror Telly) host who presents a film where two guys stumble around a fake warehouse (pay attention the same staircase shows up about a dozen times) until they find Frankenstein, poof end of movie. This entry should have been called “Amityville Movie Filler” as again I give this so called movie 0 stars.

Amityville Elevator (DVD/YouTube) – In entry #56 we are somewhere in Amityville because there is no budget again where some photographer literally rides an elevator for 50 of the 71 minute running time without getting off. Now if you go read about this dumbness the description of the film claims its trying (keyword trying) to spoof Amityville films. Sorry I am here to say you failed and it might be time to rethink your filmmaking career as I give this super dull movie project 0 stars.

The Flood (On Demand) – A Caper Van Dien flick that I had high hopes for fails horribly as I believe I have found the most overly dramatic and uninteresting killer croc or gator film made to this point in my life as I give it 0 stars.

The Innocents (DVD) – We head to Norway for this creepy flick about kids (three kids about the same age and Ida’s sister Anna who is autistic) as Ida and her family move into a new place where most of the people are vacationing during the summer. But kids being kids will go out and try to find a friend. The four eventually find out they have a connection or some kind of unknown supernatural gift and that is when the film becomes a slow burn ‘Bloody Birthday’ as one of the friends (Ben) goes dark and I mean fucked up dark. This is one of those films that borders on horror and thriller genre as I give it 3 stars.

Beyond Justice (VHS) – A first time watch of this Rutger Hauer 1990 gem where just follow me for a second here: I believe is a Canadian production, shot with an Italian crew, shot in Morocco so yes sir; you got yourself an international picture here. A big time company exec Miss Sanders had a son with her ex-husband who is from Morocco or more specifically from a tribe in the desert who still believe in desert princes and such. Rutger Hauer aka Tom Burton is brought in as a specialist to go into the desert and bring her son back. But there is more to this kidnapping as Robert’s father did it so his ex-wife and son would not be killed in this fun desert rescue action film as I give it 3 stars.

Candyland (DVD) – A gritty film about young ladies or lot lizards who live and work off Exit 17 on Route 66 at a truck stop motel where they make money let’s say off giving company to the truckers coming on through. Sadie is the center of this small group of friends just trying to make some money to move on to something else? This film is full of characters that push this sleazy story along with an older woman as their pimp, William Baldwin as a sketchy cop who likes the only guy of the lot lizard group, and then there is the newbie Remy who shows up about the same time a man is found slashed to death in the restroom. Remy is a Christian and claims she had to get out of the group bible thumpers we are introduced to at the beginning of the film. As Sadie and friends take her in and set her up with her new life Remy has a secret she is keeping from her new group of friends. If I say anymore it would spoil the film if you are interested. The film has sleaze and grit but for one reason or another I just couldn’t fully get into this film but understand why some people have loved this release. For that this might not exactly be my “cup of tea” but urge possible viewers if you are into stories with edge and sleaze you will enjoy it as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Puppet Shark (DVD) – An Indy flick done with puppets from Brett Kelly where a couple of kids head to the woods for a night of camping and telling each other stories of a killer shark that just get more absurd with each story. I did laugh a couple times through the first 30 minutes of this low budget production but felt in the end felt Kelly and company struggled to get this to be 68 minutes long. I know it pokes fun at other projects along the way but feel the movie got stale and missed the point in the end as I could only give this project 1 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!