Category Archives: Gross Movie Reviews

Gross Movie Reviews #302

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Gross Movie Reviews #302

 

Age of Dinosaurs (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Treat Williams plays an out of work L.A. firefighter trying to connect with his teenage daughter. So what better way to connect than to take her to a theater where Robocop’s Ronny Cox just happens to have his own Jurassic Park on stage? He is trying to sell the dinosaurs will help in the long run for burn victims, etc.  For the love of god movie fans this is the same guy who made sure Murphy had a Fourth Directive… So you can’t trust this dude. The film may look somewhat crappy but does deliver in gallons of blood and unintentional laughs so I give it 2 stars.

The Odd Angry Shot (Blu-ray) – Synapse Films dug this war relic out of thin air as I never heard of such a title. But it’s the Australian version of ‘Platoon’ several years before it and not as much Hollywood dramatics to it. But this Australian Vietnam film depicts it wasn’t easy for Bryan Brown and other Aussies during a horrible war that some are still trying to forget also. The film mainly centers on a man who left home for the war and changes during the course of the film as his friends die or go home and his girlfriend breaks up with him in a letter. In the end he is a broken man trying to figure out what goes on next. I know if my dad was still living he would embrace this film as many of the older generations gravitate towards war films. For me it was intriguing because you usually only see America’s take on the Vietnam War. The Blu-ray has a fun stunt featurette and a commentary. You can check out more details on this film at www.synapse-films.com as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Ragin’ Cajun Redneck Gators (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Imagine a modern day Hatfield and McCoys feud in Louisiana and one of them has been dumping their shine into the swamps the past six months and it has affected the local gators. To the point they grow bigger, they are red, and if they happen to bite you, you become a mutant gator also. The only hope is what’s left of the two sides to put their feud to the side and stop the mutations before it’s too late. Like ‘Robo Gator’ it was fun for the first 45, 60 minutes but it then seemed like they stretch this outrageous idea a little too far. But I will always enjoy the PS3 Mortal Kombat gator sequence that happens between the one girl’s boyfriend and father who just happen to be gators by ¾ the way in the film! I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

The Salute of the Jugger (VHS) – A much underrated and somewhat unknown Australian/American production that combines 80s TV show American Gladiators and Rugby in a post-apocalyptic world. And they just happen to play with dog skulls… Apparently the dog skull has some significance in the future. And the name Jugger is the name of the warriors who take part in this barbaric sport. And none other than Rutger Hauer is a former big city Jugger who now roams the wastelands with his handpicked team to win dog skulls, get drunk and laid afterwards. But when his dog comes up lame he allows a young Asian woman with spirit join and he takes her to the big time to prove a point to those who banned him from the sport and big city. The film is very violent, has Rutger Hauer, and it has Delroy Lindo, I demand this film should have a special DVD release for all the nerds like myself to enjoy as I give it 4 stars.

Demon

Demon (DVD) – Bodies begin to pile up in some local swamplands in this independent feature where the victims are bloodless and not only the FBI shows up to investigate but an odd couple of scientists who know a little too much of why bodies are piling up. FBI agent Diaz spends most of the film running into dead ends and more bodies until the bootleg Sleestak creature finally shows itself and Diaz learns the creature is actually a genetic experiment.  Filmmaker Rob Walker crafts an interesting creature film that should have spent more time in the editing process before distribution as too much shaky-cam at the wrong times and poor sound quality take away from a descent concept of an independent creature film. I give the film 1 ½ out of 4 stars and more details about the film can be found at http://www.braindamagefilms.com  .

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Beast: A Monster Among Men (DVD) – A horror film with a misleading trailer and cover but for good reason as this covers up a well-crafted dramatic thriller about friends and supposedly friends go camping in the mountains on August 4, 2009. Only to completely disappear and very little clues of what happened the next day when authorities investigated. The story has layers as one man; Ely has history with the other friends and is not well-liked. You get some information on why but not all that keeps you at the edge of your seat and suck you into the film as what you believe happen doesn’t happen or did it as Ely wonders into the woods. His best friend Bill chases after only to be followed what sounds like a woman screaming minutes later. From there friends decide to go searching the woods at the dead of night blaming Ely but not knowing the real truth behind the screams, the bloody bodies, and the odd sounds heard throughout the night. I enjoyed this independent feature for the mere fact it was willing to take a chance on making the viewer ultimately decide what actually happens when the film ends leaving it open without leaving it open… Very clever as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.braindamagefilms.com .

Chernobyl Diaries (DVD) – An interesting film concept as it tries to tackle the subject of Chernobyl. Interesting in the fact since disaster happened in the mid-80s I have always found it very interesting what would happen with the fallout. So when the trailers hit YouTube and TV the film had my attention until I heard what the film was actually. But anyway six people take an extreme tour with their tour guide Uri who just happens to be former Special Forces and has done this for the past five years. The tour consists of going into the small town near Chernobyl that was evacuated years ago never to be populated again and leave before nightfall because of the radiation. As Uri puts it nature has reclaimed the land. But after a bear almost mauls the group in one building and a few other weird things go on, the group tries to leave only of course the van won’t start. When Uri goes to investigate a noise or a possible person at night stuck in the van that is when the film really gets going with possibly mutants eating people, killer dogs tracking down the group, and the radiation starting to get worse and affecting the group. Spoiler alert: Only to be disappointed by the strange things are escaped mental patients. They didn’t just hint at it, they just basically said fuck it here is your ending! Deal with it! This movie concept works really well until the filmmaker just decides they just don’t fucking care how it ends. So good concept, disappointing result! Thank you for wasting my time Hollywood, I give it 1 ½ stars.

Enter the Ninja (DVD) – Franco Nero is in the Far East to study to be a ninja. Once he passes the test he goes to visit a friend in Manila where his friend and wife are being scared off their land by some underlings of a big business man played by Christopher George. From there Nero begins a rampage of crazy ninja death for the next 90 or so minutes. No Nero then we do not have Dudikoff? The film is dated (1981) but still a lot of fun to watch as that small crazy kid inside of you enjoys ninjas fighting to the death. Nero plays an awesome American Ninja that I give 3 stars too.

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

You can purchase my latest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #301

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Gross Movie Reviews #301

 

By Tim Gross

 

Invasion Roswell (SyFy Channel/DVD) – That damn government fucked up again and Area 51 was built for a reason as aging band of troops are retired after training all their lives for aliens. Seven years after being retired it’s a generic version of ‘Independence Day’ and makes you question why I still watch some of these flicks? I give it 0 stars.

 

Runaway (DVD) – Oh age may not be kind to Gene Simmons and this movie but Tom Selleck in his mustache prime and a pre-Cheers Kristie Alley gets 80s early teenager going inside yourself as Tom Selleck tracks “Runaways”. Or in the not so distant future for 1984… computers or robots that have gone fucking nutzoid! Tom Selleck is Sgt. Ramsey, a cop who takes care of Runaways and Stan Shaw helps him along the way to break in a new partner and explain to her why he is needed. Meanwhile Gene Simmons plays himself aka an asshole aka Dr. Luther who makes exploding missile bullets and has just stolen templates to make rogue computer chips. If you were always looking for that warm up film to ‘Robocop’ this fun 1984 film is it as I give the dated flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Ghost Shark (SyFy Channel/DVD) – It stars mother fucking Richard Moll and has a scene where a shark kills a dude from being in a cup of water and splits him a part. I am all in with ridiculously awesome bad shark flick. I give it 3 stars.

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Race War: The Remake (DVD) – Only hearing about this film recently on our podcast show Bloodbaths and Boomsticks from T-shirt Joe Garcia, words could not describe what this crazy, off the wall independent film is. This film is either the greatest current film to explain tensions between race and cultural differences or one of the best independent films of 2013 that doesn’t give a fuck who it offends as it throws all the races of mankind under the bus and had me laughing all the way! Tom Martino of DWN Productions (www.dwnproductions.net) expanded his award winning short film into a feature like no other as the plot revolves around a character named “Soda” who sells the best crack in town and has the help of his best friend “G.E.D”… And do not even ask about “Black Kreecha” aka a dude in a Creature from Black Lagoon mask with a Hawaiian shirt or it will ruin the ending for you. But for the most part the rest of plot revolves around Soda fighting off white demons who are trying to take over his territory. This of course leads to the best scene of an independent film in 2013 where Soda fights a white dude in Mortal Kombat montage game scene and when Soda wins it says, “HATE CRIME”! This strange but very entertaining film will have you questioning your own reality, as I give this flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars! You can purchase the DVD at www.wildeyereleasing.com and for more on Tom Martino go check out www.dwnproductions.net as you will find the greatest horror icon mask available there ever… Jack Frost the Killer Snowman!

 

Cheeseballs (DVD) – Tom Martino and friends are back together for an anthology that I declare wasn’t made for anybody to watch sober. With Lloyd Kaufman introducing all six segments your will be reduced to mush as it features a man-eating pizza that butt fucks dudes, hooker ghosts, Black Aquaman, a Klansman played by T-shirt Joe Garcia, a fake T-shirt Joe commercial, A weird character named Sweet Hole Brown, and Black Spider-man who shoots web from his penis of course. This doesn’t come off by any means to be taken seriously as much as Mr. Martino is entertaining himself and others that can last through this project drunk or high? If you like early Low Budget Pictures films you may like this also as I give it an entertaining 2 out of 4 stars. You can find out more about it at www.dwnproductions.net .

Robocroc

Robocroc (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Parker Lewis aka Corin Nemac has thrown the gauntlet down to be the supreme end all of end all actors for SyFy Channel flicks as he faces off with Dee Wallace who just happens to be a top scientist whose experiment has crash landed into a zoo and has bonded with a big salt water croc. Parker Lewis is the zookeeper who caught the croc, “Stella” and is worried that the military doesn’t understand what they are dealing with until they all don’t understand exception being Dee Wallace as nanobots have taken over Stella and making her into ‘Robocroc’! Imagine a killer croc version of ‘Jason X’ or they just decided fuck it we are remaking ‘Project: Metalbeast’ with a crocodile? Either way first half of the film is awesome and second half is boring and lacks any excitement until Dee Wallace goes all Superstar Billy Graham on a supporting character. Give the film 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

You can purchase my latest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

One more thing… Don’t forget Jagoff Massacre is coming September 20th, 2013 at Horror Realm. Stay tuned for details at https://www.facebook.com/JagoffMassacre !!!

Gross Movie Reviews #300

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Gross Movie Reviews #300

 

By Tim Gross

 Bleed

Bleed (DVD) – A film that was released in 2002 under the Shadow Films label aka Full Moon Pictures that stars the beyond talented Debbie Rochon as a woman named Maddy who is the new girl in the office after a tragic murder of one its members recently happened. Soon Maddy becomes a suspect of other office workers being murdered after she is told a fake story of “The Murder Club” where each member works its way up to murder in order to be part of this exclusive club. The film seems like a cut and dry modern slasher but has enough twists and turns to keep even the most hardcore horror fan interested in this low budget fare. What also makes the film fun to watch are cameos by Brinke Stevens and Lloyd Kaufman playing Maddy’s parents when they were younger! Awesome shit! It is very rare to see Mr. Kaufman in a straight role, as many times you catch him in a very low budget independent film, “insert title here” being himself and pumping up the film and Troma for 30 seconds. Plus, it’s cool to see most likely the office used is the Full Moon offices as you can clearly see ‘Curse of Puppet Master’ and a ‘Parasite’ poster in the hallway among many others. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Witchouse (DVD) – Directed by David Decoteau in 1999 is not a mere ‘Night of the Demons’ throw away but more of a fun horror romp that may have taken a cue or two from Tinney’s masterpiece on a much smaller budget. The supposedly creepy college girl Elizabeth has invited friends to a party that just happens to be a ritual she is performing to bring back an evil witch named Lilith. The friends soon learned they are not just there to get drunk and bang like bunny rabbits. They are all decedents of those who burned Lilith at the stake. A cool alternate horror film pick when looking for films to watch on a rainy weekend. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Witchouse 2: Blood Coven (DVD) – A year after the first film, J.R. Bookwalter directed this sequel that was hugely influenced by ‘Blair Witch Project’ that was white hot at the time. An old house is being destroyed to make room for a new shopping mall and some remains have been found on the property. Some college students and their professor are invited to the site to investigate and soon find out that remains may belong to a famous witch named Lilith and her friends or coven. When trying to get a DNA sample the professor cuts herself and almost instantly becomes possessed by the spirit of the evil witch and begins her killing spree. Not a great follow up but has a couple highlights: Jeff Burr appearance as a man on the street asked about witches and Andrew Prine as a man who is a witch hunter. Prine’s character explains the town made a pact with Lilith and her coven hundreds of years ago when a plague hit. And now they are back to start their coven again. I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Witchouse 3: Demon Fire (DVD) – This film was again filmed a year later and by J.R. Bookwalter also where this time Bookwalter and crew take a totally different approach to the Lilith witch legend and throws in a good cast in Debbie Rochon, Tina Krause, Brinke Stevens, and Tanya Dempsey for good measure. This may the best of the three films as Debbie Rochon and best friend played by Tina Krause are making a documentary about witches and witch related things and to see if witchcraft is real? Debbie’s sister played by Tanya Dempsey has a falling out with her boyfriend and they all decide to do a séance, coven circle, whatever you wanna call it as Debbie’s character wants it for her documentary. She reads from a fake book of spells and says a few lines but a pissed off Lilith played by Brinke Stevens shows up and has plans of her own. Weird shit continues to happen to the three women after the weird event and keeps you the viewer on your toes of whether Lilith actually exists or not. Great low budget flick worth rewatching again as I give 3 stars.

Goobers

Goobers! (DVD) – The film was originally released in 1997 as ‘Mystery Monsters’ where Charles Band began a line of kid’s films in the 90s when things at Full Moon was going great. The film was recently rereleased under a new name ‘Goobers!’ Apparently, the drunk Happ Abby from the ‘Trancers’ films plays an asshole Cap’n Mike in a kid’s puppet show where the three puppets move around like they have a life of its own? Cap’n Mike went to a different dimension which is not explained and steals these monsters, goobers, puppets… whatever you wanna call them off of an evil woman that will stop at nothing to imprison them again. The evil woman is known as Executive Producer Mara. It’s a kid’s film so keep that in mind when watching it. A new kid is on set and has yet to hit puberty because when they do Cap’n Mike gets rid of them. But this new kid is very curious about the supernatural monsters and learns they are being kept against their will and vows to help them. A great flick for hardcore Full Moon fans to seek out. I give it 3 stars.

 

Shandar the Shrunken City (DVD) – Another Full Moon film that is now under Charles Band’s Moonbeam Films label and was released under a different title in 1998 “The Shrunken City”. Two kids named George and Lori go searching around a construction site where George believes he found something cool there. When they go searching they just happen to find a shrunken city in a globe that just so happens to have live people in it that have been sleeping for the last 26,000 years and on the run from some assassins called the OOD! But years ago the bootleg ‘Krull’ creatures aka robot extras from ‘Dollman’ aka used monster masks from Full Moon’s ‘Oblivion’ found the peaceful city of Shandar and tried to destroy it. In hopes of a better future the inhabitants decided to shrink the city and were not able to be found until now. With the power source lost and the OOD hot the trail of Shandar it is up to George and Lori to save them from the OOD and find the power source so the city expands to its original size and destroy their small town. I give the kid’s flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Night at the Magic Museum (DVD) – Another Full Moon film that has been rereleased recently that was originally called, ‘Mystery Museum’ in 1999. The story begins in 1632 where a sorcerer imprisons some evil dudes in a painting as they were about to destroy a village for the “Jewel of Polaris”. Hundreds of years later the painting just happens to be in a museum where a young lady named Kim works at and she just happens to have her younger brother Ben with her and during a stormy night at the museum lightning opens a portal between the painting and our world sending them to 1632. Ben and Kim need the help of their little sister back in present time and some help from the villagers to make sure the evil dudes don’t kill them before they find the “Jewel of Polaris”. Not as good as the other Moonbeam Film releases but if you are going to have a Full Moon film weekend you got to include the ones most people don’t know about as I give this film 1 ½ stars.

 

Decadent Evil (DVD) – A disappointing horror film starring Phil Fondacaro as Ivan the vampire hunter who tracks down a lady head vamp named Morella to a strip club called, “Visions”. The strippers are all vamps and use the club to feed and help Morella get 10000 souls. If she accomplishes this goal she can become immortal. The film is 65 minutes long and between the flashbacks of the film ‘Vampire Journals’ and random footage of strippers, and credits you may have 30 minutes of an actual horror movie. Not even the cool puppet named Marvin that just so happens to be the father of Ivan the vampire hunter will keep you interested in this mess! I give the film 1 star.

 

Decadent Evil 2 (DVD) – The sequel to very disappointing vampire flick of the same name picks up a year or so later where the vamp stripper Sugar and her boyfriend are searching for a way to change Marvin back to normal. What makes the film insulting is Mr. Band gets a bootleg Phil Fondacaro aka Ricardo Gill to play an undead Ivan the vampire hunter who just happens to be carried around in a suitcase. Apparently, Sugar and her boyfriend find another strip club that just happens to have another head vamp going for 10000 souls. Honestly, this film is crap and that is the best way to say it. I give it 1 star.

dangerous-worry-dolls

Dangerous Worry Dolls (DVD) – A Full Moon film that is about a woman named Eva who is in a women’s detention center and just trying to do her time and get out and starting over. Of course the long term inmates have taken a liking to Eva and trying to force her to be their drug mule, plus she has been harassed by a coked up security officer. But Eva’s daughter during visiting day gives her a present: Worry Dolls. Supposedly the legend is you put the small figures under your pillow at night and they take all your worries away. Eva does this that night and feels 100% better the next day. But Eva doesn’t understand she is becoming possessed by the Worry Dolls that make her break a woman’s arm in three places and wants to start trouble for those who made her life miserable inside the detention center. Or as I like to describe this film: Charles Band remakes ‘Reform School Girls’! I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Gangsters, Guns, and Zombies (DVD) – A UK zombie film that revolves five thugs who just happen to rob a bank when a zombie apocalypse breaks out and we have running zombies everywhere. Most of the film is spent with the thugs mostly driving a countryside looking for a safe house and getting attacked by zombies every time they make a stop. Nothing new happens in the film but have a feeling zombie fans will be more than happy to add another sub-par zombie film to their collections as I give it 1 ½ stars.

World Gone Wild

World Gone Wild (VHS) – Another little known late 80s film that is set in 2087 and apparently Bruce Dern and Catherine Mary (Night of the Comet fame) Stewart help a small village called “Lost Wells” go 75 years after the major war started and almost wiped out humanity. With a new threat of a man who brainwashes young men into his religion and tries to seek more in the wastelands, Dern decides it is time to go the ruins called the city in order to find an old friend in Michael Pare to help him save his peaceful village. Another film that makes you wonder who in Hollywood actually knows what they are doing as another cool film with a little help would most likely have found its audience in 1988. I give the apocalyptic flick 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

You can purchase my latest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

One more thing… Don’t forget Jagoff Massacre is coming September 20th, 2013 at Horror Realm. Stay tuned for details at https://www.facebook.com/JagoffMassacre !!!

Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan Soundtrack review

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Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan Soundtrack review

 

By Tim Gross

 AxeGiantSoundtrack1

I am pretty much at the point if Midnight Syndicate did music or a soundtrack to people making buttons for kid’s jackets I would be entertained. Their music as soon as it hits is the best drug your ears could have. So when I had already seen the film “Axe Giant” it was no surprised I was more impressed with the music than the film itself. The film may have dug Grizzly Adams out of some hole of Hollywood but the music was the real star of the show when I watched it premiere on SyFy Channel. Midnight Syndicate’s “Minnesota 1894” and “Bunyan’s Cave” tracks make you imagine you are actually a part of the film’s older landscape they were going for in the film. Fun, yet elegant period music that made me actually wanna watch the film again to see how it helps blend the scenes together. Midnight Syndicate once again composes a soundtrack that is a must own for movie soundtrack collectors and proves their music is becoming a bigger part of the film than the film itself… I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Check it out at www.midnightsyndicate.com and www.axegiantmovie.com .

Gross Movie Reviews #299

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Gross Movie Reviews #299

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Island of Dr. Moreau (DVD/Remake) – This is the film adaption from 1977 starring Burt Lancaster as Dr. Moreau. Now, it’s not exactly the best film but it is better than that abomination that starred Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer in the 90s. Plus, I always had a soft spot in my heart for this one just because I liked the creatures in it. You know the story a man (Michael York) is shipwrecked on an island where its dwellers or neither exactly man or beast except for Dr. Moreau, his bodyguard, and a beautiful woman played by Barbara Carrera who you are not entirely sure if she is completely human? The half beast half human creatures which look awesome for 1977 have rules that have been taught by Dr. Moreau who isolated himself from the world since no one understands his genetic research. The film is a little dated but still carries the message of “if you play god, you are bound to get fucking lynched by your creations”… Like I said cool creatures, story never gets old, and Val Kilmer is nowhere to be seen. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

The Vagrant (DVD) – A little known film from the late 80s that stars Bill Paxton as up and coming preppie guy who buys a house and has big plans. Problem is Paxton’s character doesn’t know about the disfigured hobo that breaks into his house to eat shit out of his sink. Paxton’s character starts to get so freaked out by the experience not only does he begin to sleep walk, he dreams of the bum played by genre vet Marshall Bell fucking with him And eventually trying to kill him. While Paxton’s girlfriend leaves him, Michael Ironside head detective doesn’t believe his story of the psychotic bum, and his best friend starting to believe his friend is crazy, Paxton gets a shitload of security installed to his home and becomes super obsessed with the hobo! A great “WTF” film that was mostly overlooked at the time for the mere reason that  you can’t really put in a category of what it is except for its weird and has a somewhat of a somber and unexciting ending. But do not let that stop you from seeking this hidden gem out and enjoying it for what it is… entertaining. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Warriors (DVD) – A film that became famous and influence quite a few films over the years about summit for all the gangs in New York to meet in the Bronx. The Warriors got to travel a long way as they are from Coney Island. Once there the man that has brought all the gangs together is killed and The Warriors are wrongly blamed for the murder. Now it’s up to The Warriors to protect themselves not only from police but up to 20,000 other gang members out for their heads and might be their last fight if they don’t make it back to Coney Island. With their leader killed during the commotion, it’s up to Swan to get his gang back home. Along the way you have a radio DJ that narrates the film without narrating as she keeps score as The Warriors blow up cars, bust heads, and knock down some police officers to make their way home. A fun film that sums up late 70s New York and still hasn’t lost its edge when watching it over 30 years later. I give the film 4 stars.

Vengeance

Vengeance is a 44. Magnum (DVD) – As always the hardest working independent filmmaker Robert Elkins never rests as he releases his latest feature film that goes away from the horror genre where he seemed so comfortable with. This time around he gives us more of a grindhouse independent revenge flick. The film follows a character named Christi, a prostitute who owes money to a wannabe thug mobster who sends his underlings after her and threatening her life. Christi of course tries to make a run for it and along the way runs into a young woman from Farmville who was duped by a fake talent agency and was mugged shortly after. Once the underlings catch up with Christi and kill the girl from Farmville they torture Christi and cut out her tongue (which looked awesome). But before they can finish off Christi, a wheelchair bound war vet saves her and eventually trains her for her revenge against the thugs. I have loved Robert Elkins films over the years and feel he is a great independent filmmaker. But I feel this film has just been done one too many times and feel he decided to do this project a little too late. After last year’s “Revenge is Her Middle Name”, it seemed like the independent filmmaking world was changing again and leaving the grindhouse-style flick behind. But what else didn’t help was I felt the film ran too long and the girl from Farmville angle took up too much time to only have her killed off. It felt random and did not fit into the plot? I did enjoy the tongue cutting scene and enjoyed seeing the camera in the reflection of the hair dryer of the bus stop bathroom intentional or not. I don’t deny the passion of Robert Elkins I just feel his better work is in horror not grindhouse/exploitation. I give the film 2 out of 4 stars. You can find out more at https://www.facebook.com/VengeanceIsA44Magnum and   https://www.facebook.com/robert.elkins.5?fref=ts .

 

Evil Dead (DVD/Remake) – Yes folks, I did finally convince myself to sit down and watch this film. Being a big fan of the original three films it took me awhile to convince myself to watch it. Hell, I honestly thought it would never be remade! But when it became reality I watched the trailers and really thought the film looked creepy as hell. But once finished with watching the film I wasn’t so much disappointed as much as ‘ok’… Don’t get me wrong it is one of the gorier mainstream horror films in recent years but there was no creepiness in the film that I felt with the trailers. And we are talking I was gonna act like the movie never exist but I gave it a chance. The twitchy possessed people just didn’t give it that familiar feel of the original and felt at times the filmmaker tried to do too much like Raimi-style camerawork when there is only one person that can do that and that is Sam Raimi himself. For the most part it is like the original film but just felt like the soul of the original can never be recaptured. The film itself didn’t anger me at all. The film is ok, I was glad I got to watch it but my only problem with the film as I have said many times from the outset is I do not believe it will be memorable like the original but also gave me this horrible feeling like Mr. Raimi and his two henchmen collected a paycheck and do not care what happens next? Now, that can be petty on my part, I will admit, but I am at the point that I may not want to see a part four any longer… If you liked it, more power to you. Only thing I ask of you is come find me in five or six years and let’s see if you still like as much as when you first seen it. I doubt you will. There is something about the original that just can’t be duplicated. I give the film 2 stars.

 

Blue Collar (YouTube) – A very much underrated film that concerns union relations and the common man working at a taxi plant in Detroit in 1977.  The film has an all-star cast in: Richard Pryor, Harvey Keitel, Yaphet Kotto, Cliff De Young, and Ed Begley Jr. And there is a lot drinking of Stroh’s throughout the film. Three men who seem to be best friends get an idea in their head that they can rob the union office for cash since all three seem to be broke and in need of money. They get the plan together and go one night and rob their union office only to find $600 and some change and a notebook. The notebook contains loans to Las Vegas at high interest rates. Things escalate from there as the three try to figure how to use this to their advantage. This film is brilliant as it starts off first as a comedy and then becomes a serious drama as it takes you inside of what it was like between unions, their members, and the big car making industry. This film shows Richard Pryor wasn’t this just one of the greatest comedians of all time but proved he could be a great actor if he wanted to be? I was surprised how cool and brilliant this film was as I have to give four stars.

 

2020: An American Nightmare (DVD) – I was warned this Travis Bowen directed independent film was bad but of course I didn’t listen and had to witness it for myself. Now, it helps even Mr. Bowen himself says, “it is bad” and knows his first feature in 2005 was filled many pitfalls and mistakes that he has learned from and continues to learn from in order to make better films as he has over the past several years since. The independent film has a great cast in Joe Estevez, Conrad Brooks, Lloyd Kaufman, Denise Duff, Dean Haglund, Amy Lynn Best, and Tom Tully. But the big mistake was blending these celebs from the convention scene and trying to blend it in with the film plot at hand and the plot is a strange infection has hit America and the president wants to move to Canada in order to lay waste to his own land in order to rid the world of the deadly virus. Aka a nuclear wave is coming… Like many independent films that use celebs at the conventions to pump up their cast and film, “sounds good on paper, but doesn’t translate well on the big screen or the straight-to-DVD” in this case. I give Mr. Bowen credit for thinking big and being passionate enough to make it, but also still having the balls to sell a bad film. Travis you earned my respect. And believe me your first film may be bad as many others are but remember I have seen a lot worse… “The Christmas Season Massacre” just to name one! I give the film a ½ star out of four just for having the balls to sell the film knowing you have done better with recent projects. If interested check out Mr. Bowen and company at www.eeriefrequency.com and https://www.facebook.com/travis.bowen.522?fref=ts .

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The Wild Hunt (DVD) – The film begins with this elaborate sequence of fantasy and mythology as a woman is brought into a village where many men scream and shriek with delight as she has been brought to their leader Murlagh, so he may ravage her. Great opening scene that makes it even that much better when it cuts to another sequence where a character named Magnus questions his king and challenges him to a duel for the crown and there you learn its “LARPERS” or “Larping”. People who enjoy what is called, “live-action-role-play”. You perhaps have a brother, a cousin; someone you know most likely has done this? Well filmmaker Alexandre Franchi for his first feature-length film takes you head first into the larping world. The film was mostly shot on location at a role-playing village built in Quebec. The story revolves around a young man named Erik who has just been left by his girlfriend Lyn to go larping and Erik is left in limbo trying to take care of his sick father. Once Lyn is off on her own adventure we learn Erik has an older brother named Magnus who hasn’t been around since their sick father has come home and is huge into larping. Erik keeps having nightmares of his ex-girlfriend Lyn and decides to run to the mountains and save her from the larping scene. The drama plays out as Erik struggles with Magus’s world he firmly believes in and finds a common goal of rescuing the princess aka Lyn and surprise attack the evil larpers aka Murlagh and friends. The brothers begin to find each other again and Magnus agrees to even visit dad but that is all over quick when Murlagh goes nutzoid and others decide they want their world to become all too real as they go on “The Wild Hunt”. Franchi brilliantly blends together the real world and larping and shows respect to those who enjoy it. He crafts a must see drama of when someone’s jealously goes a little too far. Not to mention the great subplots of Erik and Magnus’s father and Lyn: is she bi-polar, a whore, just a plain cunt? This film has some great layers to it that has an ending that many horror fans would applaud! I give the film 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

You can purchase my latest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

One more thing… Don’t forget Jagoff Massacre is coming September 20th, 2013 at Horror Realm. Stay tuned for details at https://www.facebook.com/JagoffMassacre !!!

Gross Movie Reviews #298

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Gross Movie Reviews #298

 

By Tim Gross

 Behind the Cross

Behind the Cross (Internet/DVD) – Filmmaker Tomi Kerminen gives horror fans quite a different Finnish film that is more on the edge, a film that is about push the limits and pushing the buttons as it begins with a priest waking up in a field with no eyes. It goes back in time some to explain how he got there. The film is interesting to say the least as it uses more visual cues than dialogue to tell the story of a sadistic individual and what lengths he goes to show his faith in what he believes in. Mr. Kerminen did explain to me that the film is a bit on the artsy side and not for all audiences and that is true but if you are a horror fan that is always looking for something different this film might be worth taking a look at. I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars and believe if it had more backstory to the central character this film could be better? And I did enjoy the death by Nailgun scene. If you want to support the film go check it out at: https://www.facebook.com/behindthecrossmovie

 

Holdout (YouTube) – A short film made for a hundred bucks from a filmmaker Calvin Sang about two friends Taylor and Rick who are trying to wait out the zombie apocalypse. Every day is the same thing. They wake up, try the radio, and kill zombies at 12:30… Nothing different, no one alive, no hope at all. It’s been over 75 days with no human contact until Lisa comes along. I like what the filmmaker did with a hundred dollar budget and the short zombie flick was entertaining as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Frankenstein’s Army (Theater) – One of the most anticipated horror films of 2013 was finally released in America and it didn’t disappoint. A group of Russian soldiers are on a recon mission and recording everything at the end of WWII. They are in deep of enemy territory and receive a distress call from a place that doesn’t exist. But when they arrive at the village it literally looks like a ghost town. A few soldiers are sent out to explore not knowing what unspeakable horror that is actually awaiting them. Once the war scenes were out of the way, one of the most bizarre set of scenes and characters are introduced. As we come to find out along with the other soldiers in the group that the filmmaker that is recording there is there for another reason and that is to capture and learn of the secrets of this great mad scientist who has been experimenting with the dead for the Nazis. And his creations are unstoppable killing machine/zombie/cyborgs that only obey him. There is great over the top scenes of gore, effects, and just plain crazy shit going on. But the film seems to be missing something that I could not put my finger on as I watched this fun film. I enjoyed it for what it was but I did keeping asking myself if it would have helped the film’s shock value or entertainment value if it would have been filmed in black and white just to give it that extra lost film feel of WWII that gives credence to the stories of Nazi experiments of building the perfect soldier? But don’t let me stop you from what is a top 10 horror film of 2013 as its wild creature creations are the stars of the film and worth revisiting a second, third, and fourth time. I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Wild Beasts (YouTube/VHS) – Another killer animal film that was not only made in Italy but involves a whole fucking zoo that has the animals going crazy because they are all on PCP. Rats attacking a couple having sex, polar bears trying eat kids in a studio, elephants rampaging and stomping ladies’ heads, a tiger attacking a subway, lions mauling security guards, and if that wasn’t enough there is a god damn cheetah chasing a scared woman in her VW Bug and almost catching her. Of course this was one of those environmental horror films from the 80s, but this is a good film in the same vein as William Girdler’s ‘Day of the Animals’ that has been lost as it yet to see any type of VHS reissue, DVD, or Blu-ray treatment. Plus the ending with the kids make the film all worth watching as I give it 3 stars.

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The Collective V.6 (DVD) – Jason Hoover, Jabb Pictures, and crew refuse to rest as their latest volume in the series of ten short independent films sharing the same subject. This time around the subject that all the films are about is “FEAR”. First short film is ‘Speechless’ about a man who is scared to do speeches and must do a hundred of them after he loses the love of his life. Second short film is ‘Edible Love’ where a woman is willing to give herself completely a man who she loves after being abused all her life. The third film is ‘Play Me’ about a guy that leaves a DVD in a woman’s mailbox only to tell her she is about to be filmed being tortured. The fourth film ‘Insomniac’ is an interesting short film about a woman who walks the streets killing people to pass the time until she finally can sleep forever. The fifth film ‘I Am No One’ is the most interesting and the best of the bunch and that isn’t because I am a fan of Jason Hoover. It’s mainly because Mr. Hoover yet again proves that he is one of hardest working and talented filmmakers like a Jim Roberts or Robert Elkins that always makes films that seem fresh, fun, and keep you at the edge of your seat. The film is a documentary about a man (Charles Lake) that Jason Hoover follows with the camera and learns to his horror he doesn’t bullshit about being a serial killer that no one has heard about yet? The sixth film is ‘Security Violation’ more in the same vein as recent films ‘The Strangers’, ‘Funny Games’, and even the independent feature that was released earlier this year ‘Hate Crime’. The seventh film I honestly do not have a clue how to explain it or actually remember seeing the title of it, but I wasn’t impressed at all as it felt like it wasted my time. The eighth film is ‘Trepidation’, another fun 80s style looks like it is shot on video film about a couple moving in together and they are possibly haunted by something in the basement. It’s a very clever film… The ninth film is ‘Mercy’ where a filmmaker is carjacked and then buried in the middle of nowhere for money only to be dug up later after he warned the carjacker he has no money and can’t stand tight, closed spaces. Think Tim Matheson in the USA Network film ‘Buried Alive’… The last short film of this fun independent project is ‘Skeleton’ which to me in my opinion is very influenced or inspired by the wrap around story of ‘Creepshow’ as a little girl has a new friend that just happens to kill anyone that has wronged her in some way. Once again all involved should be proud of what they did and Jason Hoover keeps proving he is a filmmaking force to be reckoned with and I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a project that breaks out into the mainstream soon? I give the latest ‘Collective’ 3 out of 4 stars and you can support and purchase the film at www.jabbpictures.com .

 

Bloodmatch (VHS) – An unintentional hilarious kickboxing action flick from 1991 directed by Albert Pyun and stars Tommy Jarvis himself: Thom Matthews. A man kidnaps four people in the first twenty minutes or so of the film only to have them fight him in a ring one by one over his brother getting fucked over five years ago. But problem is it’s not his brother but himself after facial reconstructive surgery… Never mind! I give it 2 stars.

 

Bullet to the Head (DVD) – A very lackluster action film starring Sly Stallone as a hitman whose partner gets whacked after a deal goes bad and we must suffer through what looks like Stallone just going through the motions. Don’t wanna be disappointed by Stallone’s recent success I would pass on this flick as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (DVD) – Asylum Entertainment jumps on the big budget Abe Vamp hunter crazy train with this flick that has Lincoln fighting zombies, meeting Pat Garrett, playing with a kid named Roosevelt, and showing us the real reason he was shot and killed. To be honest the film isn’t great effects wise, but the story kept me interested as they were trying their best to revise history with all sorts of historical figures and what they did in this untold story. The zombie film isn’t going to make any horror fan’s Top 50 list but it is the type of film you grab six, seven friends, a keg of beer, and a shitload of pizza and enjoy the film for what it is. So go enjoy as I give it 2 ½ stars.

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976-Evil 2 (VHS/DVD) – A direct-to-video sequel from Jim Wynorski in 1992 that actually looks it had a bigger budget than the original and Wynorski makes sure he uses it all to make an entertaining and not necessary sequel. Patrick O’Bryan returns as Spike still being haunted by the evil phone number who rolls into a college town where a young woman is being haunted by a professor who used the 976-Evil number to help his end game which is apparently for him and only him to eat corn flakes out this young woman’s buckeye! In the meantime, the professor uses his new astral projection powers to kill people who are trying to prove he is the serial killer the cops are looking for. Great motor vehicle stunts, a surprise cameo from Brigitte Nielsen as a shop owner of Lucifer’s, and a very cool scene where the cast of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ turns into zombies in order to kill a young woman. Go hunt this film down horror fans as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Afraid of Sunshine (DVD) – A great concept horror film of vampires and humans at war but eventually finding peace but lacks the budget to fully pull off what I believe Mr. Justin R. Romine was going for. But what lacks in budget is made up for in very well rounded supporting cast of this fun vampire flick. Humans and vampires have been at war for years until one day they come to a treaty, vampire hunters must disband, and the government implants chips into the vampires so they don’t have let’s say the urge to have humans for a snack. 15 years go by and vampires and humans seem to be still at peace that some are even married and living together but there is a rogue vampire hunter named Jonathan who refuses to give up the fight as his parents were killed by vampires. So Jonathan takes it upon himself to track down illegal vampires or ones that refuse to get the chip but still live among humans. Soon Jonathan learns of something much bigger that he never seen coming. This independent vampire film stares itself away from the usual bad clichés that haunt most Indy vampire films and use some of the better elements of such vampire horror films “Underworld, Daybreakers, Blade, etc.” But the best way to describe this film ‘Afraid of Sunshine’ is to say it’s a much scaled back version of ‘The Breed’ starring Adrian Paul quite a few years back, which I enjoyed of course. I believe with $50,000, $75,000 budget this film would only get better and would not mind seeing Mr. Romine and crew if given the chance with more of a budget to remake the film (remember Evil Dead 2 kids). The only other issue with this cool independent vampire film is the lead actor who plays Jonathan (who I believe is the producer of the film also, sorry dude). It isn’t he is bad, it is the role just was not for him as I watched the film I imagined a totally different person playing the character of Jonathan but you do what you need to do when there isn’t as much money as you like when making a film. This independent vampire film shows that Justin Romine and crew are more than capable of making a fun and interesting vampire film that does not rely on the old and overused clichés in order to get a vampire film done. I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and you can find more out about it at www.fatheadfilms.net .

 

Dead Summer (YouTube) – A short zombie film from Zach De Hart about two friends trying to survive random zombie attacks, random people pooping in houses and not flushing, and dancing zombies. It is a fun watch as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

You can purchase my latest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #297

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Gross Movie Reviews #297

 

By Tim Gross

 

What They Say (Internet) – A short film from director Justin Romine that is about a young lady that seems to only find peace with life through cutting aka slicing yourself in certain areas to relive pain, etc. This young lady feels nothing is going right; no one listens, and is on the verge of wanting to just slice open someone’s neck. The film being a short film finds enough time to explain that her father may be the root of the problem. I give this cool dramatic short film 3 out of 4 stars and you can find out more about the filmmaker at www.fatheadfilms.net .

Down the Old Dirt Road (Internet) – In this Justin Romine short film a young couple’s car has broken down and walks to a farmhouse that just happens to be Leatherface’s cousins or something! If you are a fan of TCM you’ll enjoy this also as I give 3 out of 4 stars. Check out www.fatheadfilms.net for more info.

Dwelling (Internet) – Justin Romine shows us in this short film an affair that goes horribly wrong, like torture, murder kind of wrong… I give it 2 out of 4 stars. Check out for stuff from Mr. Romine at www.fatheadfilms.net .

One Afternoon (Internet) – A quite odd film from Justin Romine that comes off more like a test film or student film than anything as a man named Tommy likes a girl but decides it’s time to move on and leaves it up to you to decide what actually happened? I give the short film 1 ½ out of 4 stars and you can also find cool stuff at www.spookshowentertainment.com .

Fishing Amy (Internet) – Justin Romine gives us a short film Grindhouse-style about a woman who is simply tortured, escapes, and picked up on the side of the road by another man who just happens to know who she escaped from only to become fish bait! Apparently this was a part of the “48 Hour Film Project” one year and I liked it! I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Go check out and support Mr. Romine at www.fatheadfilms.net .

Blinky (YouTube) – Thanks to Bootleg Tim Gross aka Tim Wilder sent me a link to this flick that involves a not so futuristic toy robot that listens and performs every task it is given. Of course when a rich boy gets everything he wants and takes his anger out on the robot ‘Blinky’, the toy robot just simple does what the kid asks of it… Which for this short film is awesome! Because the only thing missing is Tom Selleck and Gene Simmons with the bullets that follow you! The short film is from a filmmaker named Ruari Robinson and I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Time Guardian (DVD) – A low budget sci-fi film from Australia that was made in 1987 starring Dean Stockwell simply known as ‘Boss’ who runs the last city of humans in the future of 4039. His problem happens to bootleg Krull creatures known as the ‘Jen-diki’ that are cyborgs from underground that want nothing more than to crush all humans. So Stockwell’s character convinces others in charge of the city to go back in time to get away from the Jen-diki and have Carrie Fisher and bootleg mercenary dude go to early 1988 and prepare the area for the city’s landing and warn the locals of what’s coming… It’s not a great movie by any means but it is entertaining as you can see Stockwell and Fisher must have done this movie to fulfill a contract for the studio and put lackluster effort into a hilarious mostly unknown sci-fi action flick. Its Australian and for that it at least gets 2 stars.

Blast Vegas (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Its Spring Break in Vegas and Frankie Muniz’s friends just happened to disturb an ancient evil god by using an ancient sword and stabbing the earth. Now according to legend sand snakes start fucking people up with sand including John Landis and Joe Dante after they attempt to steal the sword at the beginning of the film. Sand snakes, spring breakers dying left and right, buildings falling apart, there is only one man to save them all and its bootleg Wayne Newton in the form of Barry Bostwick who puts in his best performance since Project: Metalbeast! Enjoy the film for what it is because it is fucking hilarious as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Deadly Force

Deadly Force (VHS) – Its 1983 and Wings Hauser is a former LA cop who now does side work after being run out of Hollywood. But when he gets a call from an old friend after his granddaughter is killed by a serial killer, it’s time to return to a city full of people who don’t like you including his wife who still wants him to sign the divorce papers. The serial killer seems to be killing at random until Mr. Hauser finds a connection to the killings with a prostitute. If you are looking for a fun random unknown 80s action film you will be entertained with this action packed choice as I give it 3 stars.

We Are What We Are (DVD) – A subtitled film about a family of cannibals in Mexico. After the father of the family dies, the siblings begin to panic as they believe mother is just going to let them all starve and die. The film starts off slow and takes some time to build the storyline but as it progresses and becomes even more interesting as the brothers and sister question why they are different with no answer from their mother but still tries to right the right person that be eaten by them. This cannibal film is more story driven and may scare off the ADD horror person but stick it out as the climax of the film makes it all worth it as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Last Stand (DVD) – Yeah bad ass ARNOLD maybe old, but the mother fucker still picks awesome fucking movies as this action flick has him playing a sheriff named Ray, in a small town in Arizona right outside the border of Mexico. Most of the town as gone away to watch the high school football team, meanwhile one of the most wanted drug lord cartel leaders has escaped FBI custody  and is speeding toward the small town in order to cross the border without issues. Ray gets wind of this when a local farmer (Harry Dean Stanton) is murdered and needs to deputize Johnny Knoxville and a drunken war vet to help stop this criminal from driving through his town. The gun fights are brutal, the car scenes are crazy and stunt filled, and ARNOLD plays his age and pulls off another great performance in a memorable action flick you will want to watch dozens of times. I give it 4 stars.

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In the Shadow of Kilimanjaro (VHS) – A 1986 film that was based on a true story of 90,000 baboons in Africa during a ferocious drought of 1984 viciously attacked animals and humans. John Rhys-Davies is a man who is working on a mine that is suffering because the lack of rain. He is always at odds with the local wildlife expert who just wants to pounce on him if a wrong move happens to effect wildlife. Little do they know crazed baboons are fucking power workers, food trucks, a poor dude just trying to change his tire and he gets eaten inside of his truck? This film has some wonderful stock footage of stampeding baboons and you know if this film was made today the scenes with the baboons would have been all CG’d. It is a great 80s killer monkey movie that deserves a watch and a the special DVD treatment. I give the flick 3 stars.

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

You can purchase my latest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Midnight Syndicate’s Monsters of Legend CD review

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Midnight Syndicate’s Monsters of Legend CD review

                     

By Tim Gross

 

Monsters

Over the last few years Midnight Syndicate has produced some good and fun music: Carnival Arcane, The Dead Matter, The 13th Hour just to name a few. But this project is their best work to date as they composed what seems like music that was lost from the Universal Monster era. Now of course this is what they were going for and were inspired by the classic Universal Monster films and soundtracks. But I cannot stressed how much this CD touch my old school monster nerve inside of me as I would sit and just listen to the tracks and slowly it pulled me into the world of Dracula, Frankenstein, etc. The music flows so beautifully that if I would close my eyes it was like watching a totally new discovered Universal Monster film from the 30s or 40s that was never released and it just happens to play in my mind like I’m alone in a theater enjoying this fun treat! I could imagine Dracula, The Mummy, and Frankenstein lurking around a castle in search of their next victim. Universal Monster fans shouldn’t just buy one copy; buy lots of copies for your fellow monster and horror movie fans because this music is some of the best I have ever had the pleasure to hear. For me Midnight Syndicate just didn’t put out a new CD but up their game to unbelievable heights that people need to take notice and purchase Monsters of Legend. Plain and simple if you don’t own a copy of this great Universal Monster inspired CD then I just don’t know how you can call yourself a horror fan… Midnight Syndicate be excited because I believe you gave a very memorable CD for horror fans to enjoy for years to come as I give the CD 4 out of 4 stars. The CD is available through iTunes, amazon.com, and select Halloween retailers.

Midnight Syndicate’s website: www.midnightsyndicate.com

Their Facebook page: www.Facebook.com/MidnightSyndicate  

Purchase on amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Monsters-Legend-Midnight-Syndicate/dp/B00C6U2MN0/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1375138615&sr=1-1&keywords=midnight+syndicate