Another episode has hit the internet folks!

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This week we got Reggie Bannister’s bad ass bald head, Clint Howard and his pre bad ass bald head, and Lizard people invading Earth to beat up The Beastmaster and Scary German Guy.   Also we got questions and a bunch of reviews too.  So listen to our show and HAIL ESTEBAN!

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

episode-211

Gross Movie Reviews #389

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Gross Movie Reviews #389

 

Return to Frogtown (YouTube) – At some point one of my favorite unknown filmmakers Donald G. Jackson decided he could do a sequel to the popular cult film starring Roddy Piper “Hell Comes to Frogtown”. Problem or problems: do it on half the budget, have friends pull every string possible to get some genre names into the picture, and you don’t have Roddy Piper three years later to star in it. But Mr. Jackson didn’t let that stop him from making a sequel that would play on a regular basis on USA Up All Night? In place of Piper as Sam Hell, it’s Robert Z’Dar and he is now a rocket ranger. His partner played by Lou Ferrigno is captured by Commander Toty (which I thought he was Commander Toady or is that just my Yinzer English getting in the way of grammar?) And Toty is hell bent on turning the rest of the human population into frog mutants including Lou Ferrigno (if wondering Lou does turn green… I swear this is shit that happens in my dreams and they get stolen by the dream fairy) with his experiments performed by a scientist played by Brion James. So Sam Hell is sent in with his new partner Denise (Subspecies) Duff to look for Ranger Jones and save the world from the frog mutants! Sounds ridiculous and awesome at the same time especially when you add Rhonda Shear, Charles Napier, and Mr. Jackson regular Scott Shaw but fails to be entertaining in lots of ways. As much as I admire Mr. Jackson when you have no Piper to play Sam Hell this project should have be nixed or shelved for the time being. Mr. Jackson should have stuck it out with “Rollerblade” sequels and for that I give this bad sequel 1 ½ stars.

 

Barracuda (DVD) – Another bad late-70s “Jaws” rip-off trying to cash in on the craze at time has a chemical plant dumping pollution into the water causing mutations among the barracuda. Which in return they are attacking the local Palm Cove residents. But what makes this flick different from the bunch of this era is first, no Roger Corman and second, the film isn’t all about the killer fish. The film is more about a marine biologist teacher who gets in trouble with the local sheriff and figures out that the drinking water is the real problem as residents come down with a mysterious illness. The film is boring quite often but if you are a weirdo like me and like killer animal movies you do need to watch it at least once. I’ll stick with “Piranha” and “Humanoids from the Deep” myself as I give this flick 1 ½ stars.

 

V: mini-series (DVD) – In 1983, NBC promo campaign leading up to the TV event was amazing and unpreceded. No TV event ever really lived up to the hype until “V”. A two-night event about aliens/lizards that come to earth for peace (for now) and want to help earthlings worldwide. Basically someone wanted to make a film about the Nazis and what they were trying to do before and during WWII. And 80 million people tuned in to watch this cool event. With most humans accepting the aliens were here for peace some wanted to be sure before trusting them. That is where Marc Singer’s character Mike Donovan comes in as he is one of the few selected to go on the mother ship in L.A. to film. Once in Donovan finds out the aliens are actually lizards who have come to earth to suck the planet dry and make humans slaves or worse, food. By the end of the movie event Donovan is an outlaw wanted by authorities and aliens but is finding friends who also believe what he has seen and want to fight back. The event was fun sci-fi fodder that open the door to the mainstream but yet a dark, bleak look at what could happen if aliens came to earth? Plus, it had ‘Scary German Guy’ from one of my favorite movies of all time “The Monster Squad”. Thirty years have passed, the effects are a little cheesy, but the film event is still great to watch as I give it 4 stars.

 

V: The Final Battle (DVD) – A year later NBC decided to continue the battle between lizards and humans and again everyone watched in excitement. As now Donovan and others now have scientists on their side and eventually mercenaries as we are introduced to Michael Ironside’s character Tyler. Now the event was stretched out into three days instead of two which may have hindered this fun event. Now the aliens have taken the fight to the ground against the resistance fighters including capturing their leader, releasing Donovan’s son as a spy, having new armor that protects them from bullets, and spinning the video around about their alien leader being exposed as an alien lizard here to eat humans. This movie goes every possible direction into fleshing out there is some ‘visitors’ that were not for the invasion of earth and helping humans to the virgin who has sex with an alien and has an alien baby that wants peace. Weird stuff but I felt the story is more of a diluted mess than a fun, dark, bleak alien film like the first time around. What holds this event together I believe is the character Tyler who like the aliens is hell bent on destroying his enemy? Plus it showed Michael Ironside wasn’t just another forgettable genre actor but someone who has talent that worth recognizing. Overall, I enjoyed “The Final Battle” but the first go around was perfect and sometimes you just can’t reproduce that… I give the event 3 stars.

 

Evilspeak (DVD) – Stanley Coppersmith (Clint Howard) is nerdy, lonely kid whose parents are dead and is going to a prestigious military academy because he is considered a welfare case. So our main character is already an outsider and really has trouble being accepted by the other cadets. During a punishment of cleaning the basement of a church Coppersmith comes across a book that he feels a connection too. The book was written by the evil Richard Moll aka Esteban of course who believed in Satan, demons, etc. Stanley becomes so obsessed with the book he downloads it into the computer and sets up in the church basement for a ritual to bring forth Esteban. By accident Stanley kills the church drunk which sets forth the ritual and strange things begin to happen including an unbelievable, crazy, bloody murderous revenge rampage like no other in horror movie history. “Evilspeak” may not be the first satanic movie that comes to horror fans’ minds to watch but I bet you it is always in their top five list. I give it 3 ½ stars.

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Dead Sushi (DVD) – A story about a young woman named Keiko who is training to be a sushi chef like her father. Her father is legendary in Japan for his sushi making. But the young lady can never live up to his expectations so she runs away. She gets a job as a waitress at a hotel that is known for its sushi. Some important drug reps show up at the struggling hotel and Keiko does everything to offend them because she wasn’t born to be a waitress. But once a hobo shows up with a mutant sushi and injects it with his serum to perform his bidding to kill the drug reps, chaos ensues! The mutant sushi infects other sushi turning it into zombie sushi that attacks all in the hotel and Keiko understands what she is born to do and that is kick zombie sushi’s ass and prepares it for people who want it done right! But first she must fight off the hobo who turns into a horny mutant tuna that is wielding an axe… If you enjoy films like “Wild Zero” and “Bio-hazard” you will enjoy this hilarious, chaotic, and completely ridiculous fun film as I give it 3 stars.

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Phantasm V: Ravager (Theater) – Reggie is wondering the desert looking for Mike and not sure what world he is in any longer. Years have passed since Reggie has seen Jody or Mike and is starting to question if he is just dreaming all of this? The story revolves much more around Reggie than ever before as he is falling back forth between what’s real and what is not? But fighting between the desert, the senior home, and being on the road helping a young woman Reggie is awaken in a dark horrible world strapped to a table by The Tall Man. Some unknown people with guns help him out and lead him to their leader Mike. And Mike explains to Reggie he has been out of commission for years as The Tall Man was using his mind for information since the ending of part four film. Now, it’s a post-apocalyptic world that The Tall Man and his minions have completely taken over. With that they must fight The Tall Man in his world to stop him. To be honest it’s really hard to explain exactly what happens in this movie if anything at all? The best way I can tell you the reader about is: it has that feeling of “Phantasm IV” where they never had the budget to pull off what the story dictates and mainstream horror fans will shit all over it. But five years from now, regular horror fans will like it or get it? Personally, I am glad the sequel exists and it is finally out there. But it is hard to blend visual and practical effects unless you have the budget. I still want the original idea of Bruce Campbell and Reggie hooking up and fighting The Tall Man in the post-apocalyptic world but we all know it’s not going to happen now (R.I.P. Angus Scrimm). In a weird way the film is a fitting end to the series or a new beginning and hopefully some studio with money (I am looking at you Shout Factory and Anchor Bay) will understand that? The series has always taken weird, dreamy, and odd turns in the storyline and for that I am grateful that “Phantasm V” exists as I give the film 2 ½ stars. See me in five years just like part four and I bet you I like it more then as it will have more time to sink in. But more than anything this film will have the horror community talking and debating for a long time what we actually watched and what it all actually means? And thank you Don Coscarelli for doing it your way.

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #320

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Gross Movie Reviews #320

 

By Tim Gross

 

Spiders (DVD) – Bootleg Jason Patric aka Patrick Muldoon Christa Campbell take on spiders from space in fake New York. Part of a Russian space station falls to earth into a subway and with it is an experimental spider that has already laid its egg for a queen. Soon the homeless disappear and huge ass spiders begin to fuck people up in this fun adventurous Space spider film. You usually cannot go wrong with mutated creatures from space and for that I am thankful as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Chilling Visions: 5 Senses of Fear (DVD) – Another anthology that tackles human’s five senses: Sight, Smell, Hearing, Taste, and Touch. As usual it’s a mixed bag and not everyone can have a “Creepshow” or “The Collective” anthology finished product. But don’t let that stop you from checking out this project as ‘Sight’ from Miko Hughes aka little kid from Pet Semetery… does amazing job and one of my favorite young filmmakers Emily Hagins brings a wonderful story for ‘touch’. I give the project 2 stars.

 

Oz the Great and Powerful (DVD) – These days no story or movie to be remade or reimagined is untouchable for Hollywood but to make it interesting they bring in filmmaking horror legend Sam Raimi. He was given the task to bring to life how Oz really became Oz along with the witches, ruby red shoes, and so on and so on. I am a fan of the original classic film that just reinvented cinema but was also able to enjoy this film for what it is ‘a prequel’. But saying that I do believe good, bad, or just dumb whatever your opinion is, Raimi brings a very unique style of filming to the movie and without him I most likely feel this movie adaption may have sucked an egg. But with him it made me take a break from massacre and gore films to watch something that is a little off the beaten path for my movie watching taste. For that I have to give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Creature (DVD) – No kiddos, not the William Malone feature from the early 80s, it’s a monster film about bayou hillbillies and incest that seem to get buried and not talked about by many. A group of young folk make their way to a haunted part of the bayou where a legend of a crazed half creature/half man roams the swamps and kills looking for his new bride. Sounds simple and cool enough but how about throw in Sid Haig leading a couple hillbilly brothers into the swamp trying to have the young folk killed by this legend to help please their god! Which did I mention apparently incest is a big part of this backwoods religion? Lots of gore, incest, practical make-up and creature, crazed hillbillies, and Sid Haig in one of his best roles since Captain Spaulding. I’m in every time to watch cool shit like this! Horror fans get off your high horse and give this flick a second chance as I give it 3 stars.

 

Wreckage (DVD) – Don’t walk but run away from this so called horror film that makes me believes the screenwriter may have issues? Car breaks down and four friends go to an old junkyard to get parts. Then dumb ass guy who hates his pregnant girlfriend shoots her by mistake and comes up with a corny welder’s masked character that kills people in a junkyard for kicks. I wanted to enjoy this movie but found myself disgusted with the film after watching the payoff. It still amazes me what gets released and what doesn’t as I give this horrid film a ½ star.

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Splatter Farm (DVD) – Been awhile since I have tracked down a Polonia Brothers film and reviewed it, so I figured it was time to sit down and watch the film that help make the Polonia Brothers a household name among ‘shot on video’ filmmakers. Having watched quite a few of the Polonia Brothers films over the years I wasn’t quite prepared for this no budget homage to “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. Most of the Polonia Brothers flicks are comedic or sci-fi flicks with a slasher or two thrown in for fun. So seeing this flick all the through made me have a whole new respect for their filmmaking talents. Two brothers go to visit their aunt who lives in farm country and happens to have an oddball dude living there helping her with chores. Soon the brothers become curious of the odd man and what he does out in the old farmhouse and that was a big mistake for the brothers as they come face to face with gritty brutality that is absolutely gut-wrenching! This film belongs for good reason in “you feel dirty after watching it” category! It’s a film I never thought the Polonia Brothers could do and they did and that is why I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Rock n Roll High School (DVD) – Or we should just call it the Roger Corman film that happens to star The Ramones and lots of their music! Basic storyline is all Riff Randall wants is to meet The Ramones and give Joey the songs she wrote. Plus her friend wants to get laid. That changes when her Ramones tickets are taken away for skipping three days of school to stand in line for them. Soon the principal wants to start a war with the students about Rock n Roll so she can discipline them and show them the right path in this perfect blend of music and comedy. The Corman film stars the likes of P.J. Soles, Clint Howard, Mary Woronov, Paul Bartel, Dick Miller, and The Ramones of course! I give the flick 4 stars.

 

Doc of the Dead (DVD) – Another great documentary that covers everything zombies from Max Brooks to George Romero to the black and white flick White Zombie. Lots of cool interviews and clips covering not only the history of movie zombies but even talking about people who actually prepare for the zombie apocalypse. Simon Pegg makes an appearance as does Greg Nicotero along with Tom Savini to show this documentary means business talking everything zombies. So zombie fans shamble to whenever you can a copy of this and enjoy as I give it 4 stars.

 

X-Men: Days of Future Past (Theater) – Been awhile since I been to the theater and what better way to do it than going opening weekend to see the summer film that brings together old and new X-men universes together. The war is all but lost in the future as Professor X and Magneto believe they have a way to change the future to change everything. This way mutants and humanity will survive the Sentinels. Wolverine’s conscious is sent back to 1973 to convince Professor X who has fallen on very hard times and Magneto who is imprisoned 1000 feet underground by the government to come together and stop Mystique/Raven from killing Trask the man who invented the Sentinels. They believe this the event that has set the war in motion and if stopped and changed history will change. The only one that would know of this is Wolverine if he succeeds, if not they all die. Everyone makes an appearance except Gambit in this amazing and wonderful summer film. This is the type of film all should enjoy as it brought out the inner kid in me while watching it. Enjoy this summer movie for what it is a fun popcorn superhero flick and stop being cynical as I give it 4 stars.

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Hopscotch (DVD) – A quite different short film from Kirsten Walsh who gives the viewer an intense curveball of an independent film that relies more on its dialogue and performances by its all-female cast than your usually boobs, shitty gore effects, and bad acting that a good portion of independent films rely on. I should know as I have watched and reviewed many as some believe too many at times. But always enjoy when a filmmaker like a Kirsten Walsh produces something like “Hopscotch” that makes you want to pay attention to all dialogue and also has a great uneasy feeling of not sure where the film may take you. But anyway Bridget is an escort who is brought to a big home by a young woman named Jolene. Bridget is there to service a character named Mr. Andre but never sees him when she gets into deep conversation with Jolene and a curious houseguest named Rebecca. From there the film blooms into this great creepy oddity that will have you wanting more especially after the film’s interesting ending. Big props to Kirsten Walsh for putting together an independent short film worth talking about as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the project at www.facebook.com/hopscotchfilm .

 

Get Crazy (YouTube/VHS) – An absolutely hilariously funny lost classic from 1983 about a man named Max Wolfe whom himself and staff are trying to put together a show for New Year’s at The Saturn Theater. Problem is Max Wolfe is dying or thinks he is and its up too Daniel Stern now. The real question is once you start watching is “who isn’t in this film” as all the Roger Corman regulars and then some make an appearance in this wacky film of putting a show together that also highlights Malcom McDowell talking to his penis! That alone should make you want to seek this wacky over the top gem. I give the film 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.