Gross Movie Reviews #705

0

Isle of the Damned (DVD) – An independent spoof on the eye-talian cannibal movies or ‘Cannibal Holocaust’ to be exact from the talented film group Dire Wit Films who I just love their work as this 2008 effort is worthy to seek out people! Private Investigator Jack Steele is a man with principle as he tries to fight through the crew he is sailing with looking for the Marco Polo treasure and also trying to bang his young son Billy. This treasure is believed to be on the “Island of Cannibals” where no one goes. Once there Jack Steele encounters baby eating, horny dick munching savages where he must save potential victims of the cannibals there. Problem is with all that being said Steele meets a curious stranger in Alexis Kincaid who has lived on the island for years and knows the cannibals very well. In all this chaos of cannibals Kincaid refuses to leave with Jack and his son when they leave the island in this wild and super gross Indie spoof that proves Dire Wit Films shouldn’t be forgotten but celebrated in the independent community as I give this project 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Destroyer (DVD) – This quickly out of print gem gets lost in the shuffle of Prison, Shocker, and The Horror Show from the late 80s and really didn’t have much of a presence on late night cable. This is what I wrote in 2015 about it: With this unknown 1988 flick (at least unknown to me anyway) I seen the box art late last year and knew I needed to see this horror flick. It is an 80s wet dream of a horror movie: Lyle Alzado as the killer or undead killer, Deborah Foreman as the cute stunt girl, Anthony Perkins as the director of the woman-in-prison flick, and Clayton Rohner who was the guy in “April Fool’s Day” that seem to be banging his girlfriend the whole film. Ivan Moser (Lyle Alzado) is on death row for murdering two dozen people and is going to be electrocuted. When it happens, power goes out, riot begins, and Moser’s body is never recovered. 18 months later a film production of a women’s prison movie is ongoing in the former prison that held Moser and people are starting to show up dead. All Moser wants is to be alone with Malone (Foreman’s character). Even though most deaths happen off screen there is one hell of a death scene with Moser killing someone with a jackhammer that is somewhat featured on the cover of the movie! When I talked about it on our Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast I gave it 3 stars but I got to amp it up a little and give it 3 ½ stars just because it has everything you look for in an 80s slasher flick. I do not remember anything about this flick even with “Shocker”, “The Horror Show”, and even “Prison” getting a lot of press at the time of this film. But glad I found it to enjoy its Lyle Alzado greatness! Now the reason I bring this feature up is the out of print DVD I found is from (Cheezy Films) which before Shout Factory acquired the rights and these are still floating out there by the way, but why did that supposedly HD transfer on Blu-ray from Shout Factory go out of print so quickly? And why hasn’t this title found a place to land other the Tubi streaming service? Most horror people who have seen it, love it so why hasn’t Terror Vision, VS, or Synapse got their paws on it…? Because the DVD I found was barely an upgrade.

Mutants (Blu-ray) – A film with a cool title and Michael Ironside above the title sounds fucking terrific but Mr. Ironside is only in it for a hot minute to clean up shit at the end. So saying that let’s get into this as a scientist experimenting with food additives somehow turn people or test subjects into mutants! Big food business is cool with the experiments as long as it gets the results besides having infected sugar leech into the drinking water. Government gets wind of it and decides to send Michael Ironside and his team in to wipe the area clean of the test subjects, mad scientist, and the infected sugar. I should have went with my Spidey-sense on this one when I seen the cover as I knew it was too good to be true as usual or ‘crap with a name’ as I give it 1 star.

51 (DVD)  – This is a 2011 project that was part After Dark Original and part SyFy Channel presents which somehow I missed when first released. This of course deals with the government or more specific Air Force opening the doors of Area 51 to give reporters a tour to see there is nothing there mysterious or what not? Gain the trust of the public again. Things are going fine or just okay as reporters confront said Air Force colonel about things they are not seeing until “patient zero” who by the way is able to morph into anyone it touches decides to escape after 25 years of sitting still. But this alien is not alone as it unlocks the other cells of captured aliens to cause chaos in the top secret military location. Now it’s time for survival for military personal along with reporters as they must make their way above ground before they are slaughtered. This project has a couple of the usual SyFy Channel casting choices, some cool creatures/aliens that make for a fun cheapie monster film wroth rediscovering again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Murder Rock (DVD) – So a Fulci film I have never seen and barely heard about is a hilarious 80s treat. The movie might be known to some as ‘Murder Rock Dancing Death’ and even some other fans would know it as ‘Slashdance’ but whatever you know this film by, get ready for a horror film about a cut throat dance class. At the “Arts of the Living Center” dancers just don’t go there to train but to be the best of the best. But it’s a little different in 1983 as a whole class of dancers have accidentally found out they are vying for three positions in a high profile show and none of them will stop at nothing to get an edge. While the dancers are occupied with what they could be… a lunatic has taken upon themselves to use a hairpin to pierce the heart of their naked victims to murder them. As the dancers die and the top detective gets frustrated and creepier with the pace of the film one thing that Fulci made sure was the viewer has many suspects to pick from in this murder mystery. Once you wade through all the dancing, early 80s music, and everyone blaming each other to be the killer, Fulci gives one of his more interesting endings to a film as I give this an entertaining 3 stars.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (Blu-ray) – Thought it was time revisit this so-called “Best Worst Movie of all time.” Did yinz all forget about ‘Troll 2’? Or am I not supposed to bring that up? More on that later… Anyhow this special edition has two commentaries, deleted scenes, and a couple featurettes. If you haven’t caught on I am not a big fan either way but anyway this love story is about Rod and Nathalie who hit off quickly. After some choppy acting between the two, Rod explaining he has a Hybrid Mustang (dude, it didn’t exist), Nathalie talking it over with mum, 47 minutes in the two bump uglies at a random hotel and the fake birds begin to attack. The lovers try to plan their escape with a couple others at the hotel where they literally drive around a beat up Ford Aerostar shooting fake birds out of the windows! The big reveal is the bird flu has caused the chaos in the movie not on the internet. I give this project 1 ½ stars so let’s get back to this being “Best Worst Movie of all time”. Because shit if you wanna go old school what happened to ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ or was this just the majority of people online decided before there was the Tik Tok or a ‘Sharknado’ they wanted to declare this to be cool? And if I am even close on that idea sorry folks I got one word for you ‘SPOOKIES!’ Also there is at least a dozen titles I could name that deserve the “Best Worst Movie of all time” title. I believe this might have been the first independent film those internet kids watched if you want me to take a guess but whatever as I still say this was meh. It was meh when released it is still meh now.

Meat Market (DVD) – Talk about revisiting an old friend as I haven’t watched this since shortly after it was released as this title along with the sequel are long out of print especially since its quick Blu-ray release that no one knew about has me questioning why hasn’t this gotten the special treatment by a bigger company? In 2000 this independent Canadian zombie film made an impact in the Indy scene as it open the flood gates for everyone again to make a zombie film. This SOV zombie flick with lots of cheap gore effects is about two former security officers who are fighting the undead as hordes of zombies begin to feast on cities. The two believe their best chance of survival is trying to escape the city as along the way they team up with a trio of vamps, a Mexican wrestler, and all just hoping they can even find a survivor or two. They all must become scavengers in order to survive this bloody chaotic ordeal. The zombie film has its flaws and rough edges as they went for it all with locations, gore everything! Is it J.R. Bookwalter’s ‘The Dead Next Door’ or Todd Sheets’ ‘Zombie Bloodbath’ not really but just like those two independent films Brian Clement dreamt big and I believe sparked interest again in the early 2000s showing independent filmmakers a zombie film can be made with a little heart and passion behind it. If you are able to find one of these long out of print DVDs there is a commentary with Brian Clement which could be fun for the Indy zombie fanatic as I give this 3 out of 4 stars. Oh by the way kids pay attention as this was the year 2000 and this zombie film isn’t cause by contamination but Nano tech…! A very interesting premise for that time…?

Meat Market 2 (DVD) – The sequel picks up a year later as Brian Clement has learned from his first experience to make this film project a leaner, meaner, and much smoother viewing experience that the first film. There are only three survivors from the first story but they talk of meeting others in their travels. With the cities dead and food scarce it has become apparent the zombies are evolving because of the Nano technology that caused this extinction. The survivors get caught and placed in a military stronghold that is more of a cult organization that is hiding things from their members such as experiments and what they actually feed people. If you are considered desirable you are allowed to be a part of the cult if not you are mistreated and experimented on for hope of the new world order. Brian Clement and friends go for broke with even more gore, more disgusting weirdness, a lot of dick chomping, and if you really wanna get into the subtext or bored a little kink (but that is for a different conversation) as I give this project 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Again if able to find this out of print gem it does sport two commentaries on the DVD too.

The Slumber Party Massacre Collection (DVD) – After all three films were originally released to DVD for the first time and it was just great to have them even though they looked like VHS rips a decade or so passed and they released this upgraded transfer of the three films to this 2-disc set. What made this set so special is it had been 30 years or so since the release of the original and this sported an hour long documentary that covered all three films and their impact on the horror genre. Now I don’t if this documentary has popped up on any other releases since then but it does make this set worthy tracking down for the price and for that I give it 4 stars or 4 drills.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!  

Episode 157 is available my horror fiends

0

episode 157

 

This week Kyle and Tim talk about what happens when you put Lyle Alzado in a slasher movie with Anthony Perkins in 1988’s THE DESTROYER. And Kyle watches Clint Eastwood’s directorial debut in PLAY MISTY FOR ME.  Also we contemplate the YouTube fascination of pimple popping videos, Kyle falls into a wormhole of old-school VHS artwork,  Gene Gene the Dancin’ machine,  Newly released DVD’s, Fan questions, and finally We recast the best movie ever FLASH GORDON!

 

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Gross Movie Reviews #343

0

Gross Movie Reviews #343

 

By Tim Gross

 

Shark Assault (DVD) – The movie is also known as “Shark Week” and “Shark Island” and had a premiere on SyFy Channel that I somehow missed?  A man seeks revenge against several individuals who got his son killed and he will have them play a ‘survivor-type’ of game with sharks… and it stars Yancy Butler! If anything its hilarious just to watch a shark do its best “Tremors” imitation. I give the flick 1 star.

Axeman-of-Henderson-County-poster-212x300

The Axeman of Henderson County (DVD) – A newer independent slasher/serial killer flick from filmmaker Larry Parmiter has the likes of wrestling legend Hacksaw Jim Duggan and former college football star Major Harris grace the screen in his flick. The story takes place in a small rural town where a person has taken upon themselves to begin killing the townsfolk or storefront owners with an axe. But each time the killer does not leave many clues for the sheriff and also mocks them with letters. The film suffers from several minor issues; it has that first project type of feel? Which I had a chance to discuss with Mr. Parmiter at the recent Horror Realm convention including a horrible story of an editor that really wasn’t sure on the editing part but got paid for it. Larry has a good head on his filmmaking body and understands what mistakes were made and is excited to not only try to correct them in a remastered version of the film some time down the road but considers it a lesson learned for the next project. And hearing that Larry’s next project has me intrigued? In the meantime help out another cool independent filmmaker and check out the Facebook page for this slasher/serial killer flick: https://www.facebook.com/axemanofhendersoncounty . Besides I wanted to see this movie either way just for the mere fact that Hacksaw Jim Duggan plays the mayor. I give the flick 2 out of 4 stars.

Tinnitus

Tinnitus (DVD) – A pretty creepy short film about a love triangle that has gone bad. Filmmaker Bradley Walkowaik did a great job of building a lean, mean, and suspenseful short film that will have you asking what’s next. I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars. Find out more about the filmmaker here: https://www.facebook.com/brad.walkowiak?fref=ts .

 

Destroyer (VHS/DVD-R) – With this unknown 1988 flick (at least unknown to me anyway) I seen the box art late last year and knew I needed to see this horror flick. It is an 80s wet dream of a horror movie: Lyle Alzado as the killer or undead killer, Deborah Foreman as the cute stunt girl, Anthony Perkins as the director of the woman-in-prison flick, and Clayton Rohner who was the guy in “April Fool’s Day” that seem to be banging his girlfriend the whole film. Ivan Moser (Lyle Alzado) is on death row for murdering two dozen people and is going to be electrocuted. When it happens, power goes out, riot begins, and Moser’s body is never recovered. 18 months later a film production of a women’s prison movie is ongoing in the former prison that held Moser and people are starting to show up dead. All Moser wants is to be alone with Malone (Foreman’s character). Even though most deaths happen off screen there is one hell of a death scene with Moser killing someone with a jackhammer that is somewhat featured on the cover of the movie! When I talked about it on our Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast I gave it 3 stars but I got to amp it up a little and give it 3 ½ stars just because it has everything you look for in an 80s slasher flick. I do not remember anything about this flick even with “Shocker”, “The Horror Show”, and even “Prison” getting a lot of press at the time of this film. But glad I found it to enjoy its Lyle Alzado greatness!

 

Psycho Pike (DVD) – A lumber yard on the lake is dumping illegal waste into the lake causing many fish to die except one… The Pike! It is mutating into a large fish that has a taste for humans. Two couples go to their beachfront cabin on the lake to enjoy the summer but soon are in for a rude awakening as sickly fish begin to show up along with the police looking for dead bodies. “Psycho Pike” has it all as it’s the cheaper version of “Frankenfish” and beats it by 15 years! This B-movie greatness was so much fun I watched it two days in a row as I give it 3 ½ stars for its entertainment value!

My Zombie Flick

My Zombie Flick – (YouTube) – A short film that deals with zombies and their fans from a man who I believe gave us “Mini-Golf Massacre” and for that I am grateful. But the short film mocks “The Walking Dead” and its fans and also has a fun time mocking no budget films that hold zombie auditions. If you cannot laugh at yourself then what’s the point is what I got out of this fun mocking look at an over bloated zombie genre that I give 3 out of 4 stars as Bobby Keller declares his film to end or kill it all in zombie films. My favorite scene is a tie between the girl at the auditions who claims to be from Pittsburgh, Pa., and the two zombie movie makers arguing with two women at a bar about “The Walking Dead”. Check it out at: https://www.facebook.com/myzombieflick .

 

The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters (DVD) – A great old school monster/horror film from 1954 that I bet influenced many filmmakers and monster films of the 60s, 70s, and even early 80s. The story revolves around two men in the spirit of Abbott and Costello comedy try to seek out the landowners of a lot nearby their friend’s diner that could be used for a baseball diamond for the neighborhood kids. Little the Bowery boys know is the owners is a couple of crazed scientists, a very pretty but curious woman, and a murderous old lady who all have plans for the two men that all end in death. When you watch it you will draw a lot of parallels to the famous TV shows “The Munsters” and “The Addams Family”. I give this fun old school monster flick 3 stars.

 

Zombie Killers: Elephant’s Graveyard (DVD) – If there was a middle ground between the zombie storylines of the dramatic TV series “The Walking Dead” and George Romero’s “Dawn and Day of the Dead”, “Zombie Killers” may have found it? Doc is a man trying to keep a community together during a zombie apocalypse where walls have been built, an army or people called ‘zombie killers’ are trained to protect, and new laws are enforced to help protect those who live behind the walls. Many try to live life best they can as others wonder is there an answer or reason for the walking flesh eaters. As tensions mount inside the community between the religious fanatics and a man named Rory that many in the community do not trust there is a problem as two people captured from another safe-zombie free location come to warn the community of a zombie horde in the millions about to descend on the community. If you can get past the CGI zombie deer and fish you will most likely enjoy this bloody but dramatic at times zombie flick. If anything you will enjoy Dee Wallace playing the usual worrying mom character, Billy Zane being the great Billy Zane, and Miss Felissa Rose in her best character in my opinion since “Sleepaway Camp” where she plays the community’s religious nut as you can easily seeing her as a cult leader in many other films. We are talking she has found her Jeffrey Combs or Tim Thomerson role here folks. The zombie film doesn’t drag, gives enough blood and gore for nerds like me, and gives you an interesting storyline for the mainstream “Walking Dead” fans, especially for the filmmaker pointing to fracking being the cause of the zombies rising… I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars and a huge thank you to Miss Felissa Rose.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html