Gross Movie Reviews #502

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Gross Movie Reviews #502

 

Evil Seeds (DVD) – A short film from Just Buried Productions that begins on Halloween in 1981 at The McGregor’s house. But moves quickly to present day Halloween where five friends head to the woods to have some fun and tell ghost stories. When one of their stories is told it comes true so demonic pumpkin figures appear to kill the campers. This is all because McGregor hates everything Halloween which ashame in the long run but anyway give the short film 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Black Mama, White Mama (DVD) – This 1972 feature stars Pam Grier and Sid Haig in which two women prisoners, one black and one white hate each other. But they are forced to escape together as they are shackled together. During their daring escape they must work together and decide where they are going so they don’t get caught as both are wanted by authorities, a pimp, and hitmen. The local chief detective makes a deal with Sid Haig to track them down because he believes Haig’s character and shady friends will get the job done much quicker than his police force. One woman wants to stay and help the revolution, the other wants to leave the island with the money she believes she was always owed by her pimp to start a new life. Both are willing to do whatever it takes to get it accomplished and that means beating up a couple nuns and taking their clothes as I give this fun piece of entertainment 3 stars.

 

The Tallman (DVD) – So I finally watched this piece of shit that stars Jessica Biel and two genre vets in William B. Davis and Stephen McHattie. Jessica Biel’s character Julia seems innocent enough taking care of her son with nanny/random woman that stays at her house in this small community. But this community has an urban legend called “The Tall Man” that sadly is blamed for missing children over recent time in the community. After Julia is attacked and her supposed son taken things get a lot clearer… maybe? Tables get turned where Julia is the villain who steals kids and gives them to the “The Tall Man”. But two questions remain: What is the Tall Man? And why does this covert figure exist? This was just fucking dumb and an insult to Angus Scrimm and the character he made famous as I give this crap!

 

Spring Fever (YouTube) – A weird low budget zombie flick out of Iowa where the Mad Doctor Yeager has two of his undead minions pour some green crap into a stream near Iowa State Park. Of course this unleashes a horde of flesh-eating lunatics! Our only hope is a weird dude named Zed and his partner Agent X that may have been the stuntman for the local production of ‘Phantom of the Opera’. Along their way to find the mad doctor the two come across all kinds of characters as they try to protect the innocents as much as they can. Some fun low budget gore and a cameo appearance by Robert Z’Dar as a mob boss make the highlights of this feature. Thought it could have been edited down a few minutes but still a fun watch as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Norliss Tapes (YouTube) – This early 70s TV movie is about a publishing manager who becomes concern with his star author Norliss because he has become a recluse and hasn’t finished his book in the past year. The manager is also concern because they were taking a chance on this project as Norliss wanted this book to be about the occult and supernatural. Norliss in the beginning thought it was all fake until he met Ellen Cort. Mrs. Cort has an experience with her dead husband that causes Norliss to take it seriously and investigate the incident. During his adventure he finds out the dead husband wanted immortality and must fight the undead to destroy him. In the end this was just one tape and the manager has many more to go. This was supposed to be a TV series from the same person that introduced us to Kolchak but it never came to be. I love Kolchak as many do but this lacked the same charm but still a fun ride worth checking out if you haven’t before as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Killer Cup 3D (DVD) – An army of killer Styrofoam cups hit earth to drive humans into extinction. Sold! I am in to see where this funny shit takes me. What is left of the human race is trying to fight back as the story centers on this house in the middle of nowhere Canada where one-balled Uncle Zach has built the “Cup Destroyer!” It’s a RC truck that shoots lasers and one of the cups is at the wheel. But as usual the killer cups are always staying one step ahead and have stolen the piece of tinfoil to build their ultimate evil killer cup! Wonderful idea but the 100 minute running time and the communication of the cups is a dog’s squeaky toy are major drawbacks but so worth the attempt as I give this independent project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Unsung (YouTube) – The latest project from Churchill Pictures is a bit of a thriller with a bit of drama and intrigue added to the mix. We are introduced to Eric through his travels of the depressed areas of Pittsburgh and his childhood flashbacks that haunt him. One day catching a nap, the nap is interrupted by a man trying to hurt a young lady. Eric jumps into action and saves her. But being homeless also she takes off with Eric’s bag and he chases her down to a homeless community under a bridge. He is accepted into the community quickly. Meanwhile we are introduced to a very driven detective by the name of Jones who understands he now is trying to track down a serial killer and how all the victims are tied into each other in some way. Eric hearing a voice from a radio decides he must take action like his comic book hero that he keeps near to his heart. Eric and the detective cross paths and Eric is of course a ‘person of interest’ in the case but no matter what both men want to save the young lady after she is taken by this killer. I tried not to give too much away with the description just because I really like the story and it isn’t your usual crime drama/thriller. The film has a lot of heart that deserves to be watched and enjoyed. It stars Jared Bajoras, Richard Billock, and Amadeo Fusca which all three were perfect in their roles for this project. Help support this project folks as I give it 4 out 4 stars all the way!

 

Devil Rider (YouTube) – One of those early 90s films that was a direct-to-video release which were very popular of the time. A cowboy in the old west is wandering the countryside gunning down anyone that is in his way or on his property. The marshal catches up with the outlaw and has him hung but he does not die. The cowboy claims he from hell there to kill everyone! As they leave the cowboy hanging the marshal’s posse shoots him several times but the next morning the evil outlaw disappears. Now a hundred years later the evil outlaw is back and terrorizing a group of people who came in from the big city to buy up a big farm for real estate. The outlaw can only die one way and that is by his own saber or weapon just like 1987s ‘Ghost Riders’ but the biggest difference this film had a little more effort put into it. I give this lost 90s film 2 stars.

 

Redcon-1 (DVD) – Another zombie flick out of the UK that has a Special Forces group briefed in a mission to go into a quarantine zone to capture a scientist Dr. Raynes. Supposedly he started this apocalyptic mess and may hold the answer of an antidote. So seek and extract him from the area… if not the area will be obliterated from the map to contain the virus. The group finds him but not without casualties and making their way to the extraction point but Raynes warns them not everything is what it seems. The zombie make-up and effects are good but the slow motion shit at times and trying to explain how the zombies are evolving so quickly to point they are UFC fighters is a bit ridiculous. The film feels like it had two different stories being told and neither was finished, just smashed together to make the mess we have as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

 

Gross Movie Reviews #501

0

Gross Movie Reviews #501

 

We Die Young (DVD) – A story about a young drug runner for the MS-13 gang named Lucas in Washington D.C. He tries to watch out for his younger brother and has made friends with an ex-military vet Daniel (Jean-Claude Van Damme) who he delivers to on a regular basis. Both humans are just trying to do the right thing for others. When Lucas gets set up during a run he and his brother are on the run from the MS-13 because they must die for their betrayal. They jump into Daniel’s car and from there it’s stop and you will die. Not your typical JCVD action flick but the film has a lot of heart and an interesting storyline that made the film well worth checking out as I give it 3 stars.

 

Good Against Evil (YouTube) – Richard Lynch as a man into Satanism named Mr. Rimmin and a young Kim Cattrall showing up, yes I’m in! A baby is born and stolen by a nun to be taken to Mr. Rimmin and he explains to his legion that the child must be protected at all costs. 22 years later in San Francisco we meet Jessica Gordon who designs clothes. Her new car gets dinged up by a gentleman named Andy Stewart who tries to get Jessica to go to dinner with him but no luck. Andy persists until Jessica is down for it and eventually they become a couple but strange things like people dying keep happening. These folks that are dying are followers of Mr. Rimmin trying to protect Jessica and try to break up the lovers constantly. I enjoyed the movie but just not enough scenes of Lynch being an evil bad ass as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Ghost Riders (YouTube/VHS) – Here is a random 1987 I never knew about that I was super excited to watch and… then I did. Anyhow Frank Clements is hung by a vengeful priest in the old west. A hundred years later a Professor Sutton discovers Clements is back from the dead the hard way. Luckily for the Professor his random friends and son are coming for a visit and shoot the ghosts. But hey folks they soon find out they been shooting down the same ghosts over and over and must come up with a new plan to save all their asses! That is when they get back to the Sutton cabin and find out their grandpa was the priest that hung Clements. Yep a boring revenge flick that should have been so much better but turns out to be a snoozer as I give it 1 star.

 

Survivor (VHS) – It has been ten years since the war and a man/astronaut travels by a solar-powered train car looking for a so-called paradise. There is a story about an underground paradise that is ruled by a man named Kragg (Richard Moll) and scientists. Once there it isn’t what it is cracked up to be so the space man is challenged by Kragg. Kragg is amazed to find out the space man is the one who put the satellite into space that caused the war and gives a good long speech about the ‘New World’. Not one of the best post-apocalyptic flicks out there but an interesting take with the whole underground city and such plus Richard Moll as I give it 2 stars.

 

Strike Commando 2 (YouTube/VHS) – Our man Vincent Dawn aka Bruno Mattei goes ripping off several 80s action flicks of where a vet Michael Ransom is sent in by the CIA to go looking for his old commander Jenkins. There is a whole double fake of Jenkins being hidden by the CIA but is actually double crossing the CIA and working for the enemy and has Ransom bringing diamonds for the payoff. Once Ransom understands what is going down, Ransom and his new blonde friend make a plan in the jungle to screw them all. Oh yeah in case you needed to know Jenkins was working for the KGB… damn it I gave it away. It’s fun B-movie follies for all to enjoy as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Lone Runner (YouTube/VHS) – A mid-80s flick from Ruggero Deodato about a superhero in the desert known as Garrett or Lone Runner. Once ten years ago he saved a little girl and some folks from some bandits. Now ten years later he is back to save her again as her father is being blackmailed for some mysterious diamonds that many people didn’t believe existed. We get some cool horse riding stunts and see Garrett take on a whole army of bandits. It isn’t the best of Deodato’s work but I love finding this stuff and thank the lord Rutger Hauer this filmmaker exists as I give it 2 stars.

 

Firewalker (DVD) – A hilarious action/comedy in the spirit of Indiana Jones in ways starring Chuck Norris, Louis Gossett Jr., Sonny Landham, John Rhys-Davies, and Melody Anderson! Max and Leo are hired by Melody’s character for a treasure hunt, yeah they are not real successful in the past but this time is different. It is an interesting movie for the mere reason it takes Chuck Norris out of his comfort zone but the chemistry he had with Louis Gossett Jr. is great as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

 

Road Hell (DVD) – This relative low budget flick centers around a high-strung couple who have to stop at a seedy motel because they need sleep and to POOP! This intro of the creepy motel is for an anthology that has a vampire orgy, a kid wanting to take on an unknown creature in the woods that ate his dog, and profiling a zombie exterminator. The couple wrap around doesn’t have much to do with anything other than asking for a new room in between segments. When picking anthologies this might be the choice yinz all will wanna pass on as I almost feel asleep twice trying to make it through it. For that I give it 0 stars.

 

The Final Terror (DVD) – This slasher film has alluded me long enough as I knew it existed but not as ‘Campsite Massacre’ also. This star studded affair (Mark Metcalf, Lewis Smith, Adrian Zmed, and Darryl Hannah) is about a group of inexperienced rangers heading up north to Old Mill Creek for work and some partying. Old Edgar warns them about getting hurt and going somewhere else but this is the early 80s they don’t listen. After a joke that night goes a little too far when one of them don’t come back looking for someone’s weed crop they search for him all day with no luck. But now this thing stalking the woods is now hunting the rangers as they must make their way down river as they are tired and injured. With the cast I hoped for another ‘The Burning’ but got a less eventful slasher film instead and I give it 2 stars.

 

Jurassic Galaxy (DVD) – What feels like an Asylum film or a SyFy Channel flick is not as a spaceship crash lands and falls to pieces on a planet ruled by dinosaurs. The survivors if they can survive each other must make their trek across the treacherous planet to find the escape shuttle to get a SOS out in space. It wasn’t as terrible as I thought it was going to be still surprised neither of those factions had anything to do this with this terrible idea as I give it 2 stars.

 

Nazi Undead (DVD) – Brad and Ash are off to a castle in the middle of nowhere Germany when the car stalls out and a woman runs to the car to smack it and then die. So eventually the two get out finding help, but instead finding an old house with a paranormal creepy old German guy and backstory that replays a couple times during this dumb ass fucking movie! Candidate for worst movie I have watched in 2020 as I give it 0 stars.

The Terror of Hallow’s Eve (DVD) – Another film claiming to be based on true events that takes place on October 30, 1981 where a young teenager Timmy is very talented and likes to play pranks on the neighbors. He gets in trouble with his mother and promises not to do any pranks on Halloween so he investigates the attic and finds “The Book of Halloween” and reads about the ‘Trickster’. Timmy after getting the shit kicked out of him by three high school assholes he turns to the Trickster to help him scare them to death. Of course the trickster takes it literally and eventually with the help of Timmy’s imagination kills them all. Thus sending him to an asylum where the end of the film explains more about his story at present day. It is a solid Halloween horror film but wasn’t a big fan of the ending as it felt like padding or filler to stretch the film out. I liked the storyline, the cool under the radar Hollywood stars in it, but the ending for me was not needed but didn’t spoil the end product as I give the film 3 stars.

Corona Zombies (On Demand) – This latest Full Moon feature takes place in the Bodega Bay Trailer Park where Barbie has just learned about the Corona virus from her bestie Kendra over the phone. She turns on the news to learn the virus is getting out of control and now there might be ‘Corona Zombies’ as the virus is turning certain ones into zombies. But the real problem is Barbie doesn’t have toilet paper and she is like so bored. Barbie goes into panic mood as she watches the news showing live footage or I should say overdubbed footage of two other zombie movies throughout the newscast. Kendra tries to help Barbie through the phone to keep her calm but nothing says calm like finding an eight pack of TP! To be honest I have been critical of Charles Band and company which sucks because I love Full Moon and I believe we all were not expecting much from this project… But this project is fucking hilarious and makes me wanna go back and rewatch ‘Hell of the Living Dead’. This film will not be for everyone but for everything that is going on right now Charles Band might have a diamond in the rough with this project that shows maybe all humans need to calm down and watch something not so serious? But also thank you Charles Band for this project not being an infomercial for ‘Evil Bong’ and the latest crap on Full Moon Streaming as I give this 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!