Gross Movie Reviews #356
By Tim Gross
The Ghost Club: Spirits Never Die (DVD/Vimeo) – The lower budget film stars William Forsythe as the caretaker of a haunted mansion (The Wilkensen Mansion) that has over a hundred years of hauntings. He has opened it up for some paranormal experts who have a TV show and are always on the prowl to investigate the next haunted place. Yes, it is influenced by “Ghost Hunters” and “Ghost Adventures” shows but what makes this flick a little different and interesting is the group of experts is not exactly sure they believe in ghosts. But their perspective changes quickly when the group begins to find actual proof of spirits. But the spirits are not happy they are there and begin to terrorize the group. Soon one or more members go missing, get possessed, and even get the shit beat out of them. Usually I am all about taking a huge steamy poo on these flicks because most are useless. But director Hank Blumenthal makes great use of William Forsythe and thrives with the story at hand where most fail! For that I give this flick 3 out of 4 stars. You find out more about the film at: http://www.michaelmailerfilms.com and watch it on Amazon Prime.
Bigfoot the Movie (DVD) – This low budget flick is from filmmaker Jared Show who casts his Sasquatch film with Pittsburgh celebrities and “Pittsburgh Dad” himself Kurt Wootton. Kurt sets aside the character he is famous for to play one of the three main characters Chuck. The story centers around two of Ellwood City’s finest idiots Chuck and Dale who think they seen Bigfoot kill their friend. Eventually they involve the third main character Burl, an exterminator; to help them kill Sasquatch as no one in the small town believes them. While Bigfoot keeps decapitating the locals the only ones that seem to believe its Sasquatch is Chuck, Dale, and Burl as word has gotten out it is a bear or so it seems. Someone doesn’t want the truth to get out but the ‘three stooges’ want the creature dead. The film has quite a few laughs in it, has a great Burt Reynolds-style bar fight, and an amazing creature suit that makes the film well worth the watch no matter what your opinion is. The one thing that holds the film back is the ATV montage and the falling in love angle between Dale and the cute bartender about an hour in which stalls the laughs and the film in its tracks. But don’t let that stop you from enjoying a funny independent creature flick and one of the best Sasquatch costumes I have ever seen. I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.jspictures.com or you can also check out www.bigfootthemovie.com .
Terminator: Genisys (Theater) – Oh the brilliant and horrible mess this film is… I love it in all its horrible mess of glory. Pretty much this time around when you watch the film you are asked to forget everything you know from past films… literally. As if you try to piece it all together it will make your head hurt. But this time around when Reese goes back to 1984 he is the one being saved by Sarah Connor and her bodyguard Arnold the Terminator who was sent back several years before that. It took a few movies but apparently Skynet got smarter (hahaha) and sent a Terminator back in time to kill Sarah Connor when she was like 8 years old… Huh? Exactly, so fuck it! You wanna see old ass Arnold fuck a lot of shit up and still be a bad ass Terminator? Bingo! You got it but remember don’t do hard drugs or drink too much while watching or you might think its 2017 and Skynet renamed itself. I give the mess 2 ½ stars.
Monkey Boy (VHS) – This British killer monkey movie had so much potential as it begins with a monkey experiment gone wrong that kills several people at The Jenner Clinic. But then it does its best to bore you to death or put you to asleep immediately as ‘Monkey Boy’ kills some kids’ parents in the countryside to play Crazy Eights with them. Go figure… I give it ½ a star.
Nomads (VHS/DVD-R) – Pierce Brosnan is anthropologist that has finally come back home from traveling all over the world but apparently some weird tribe spirits have followed him home. And now they embody some street punks that happen to be Adam Ant and Mary Woronov who haunt Pierce for most of the movie if you are able to follow this weirdo flick. The evil spirits are called Nomads in this non-exciting horror flick. I give the film 1 star.
The Believers (DVD) – This 1987 voodoo film has Martin Sheen and his kid watching his wife get electrocuted in the first five minutes of the film. It forces Martin Sheen to move across the United States to take up his practice as a doctor for cops who recently had to kill someone on duty. While Martin isn’t banging the holly hell out of his landlady his kid has been marked for sacrifice by some weird dude that was brought into the US to kill first borns so their fathers get rich, powerful, and live longer. The material the film is based on is a lot more interesting than the film itself but the film does have its moments. I give the flick 2 stars.
Blood on the Reel: The Guts behind Indie Horror (Google/DVD) – This latest project from Johnny Daggers is a documentary of sorts that shares interviews, stories, and trailers of many independent filmmakers. Mr. Daggers interviews too many to count filmmakers and film critics to tell their stories about how they got started, what influenced them, and their passion for the business. It takes you inside and also supports what a lot of these men and women do not think as a hobby as much of a dream come true and will do anything to keep making it a reality. Filmmakers such as Massimilano Cerchi, Glen Coburn, Mike O’Mahony, Craig Everett Earl give you the viewer, independent film enthusiast an inside look like never before. Of course Mr. Daggers makes himself the center of attention because it’s his project but he does a superb job of getting information out of these filmmakers that may have never been heard by a mainstream viewer. The film is an eye-opening experience even for an independent movie viewing vet like myself and gets me excited to see such a project feature so many great filmmakers the world has yet to know. I give Mr. Daggers’ well-made and well-cared for project 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the film at: www.sglentertainment.com and www.sglmoviestore.com
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