Tag Archives: Gross Movie Reviews

Gross Movie Reviews #346

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Gross Movie Reviews #346

 

By Tim Gross

 

Long Weekend (Blu-ray) – A lesser known Australian film about things for a couple that go bad, like “Day of the Animals” of bad. I tracked the film down after a guest on our podcast “Bloodbaths and Boomsticks” wanted to cover and talk about it. So if you are asking yourself why I am reviewing this again it’s because Synapse Films has released a restored Blu-ray version of the flick. This couple who apparently are a half step from divorce have ventured out to a beach near some woods for a camping getaway to maybe try and patch things up? As fixing the relationship goes downhill quickly strange occurrences and odd behavior from the animals cause tensions between the couple to worsen. The film has radio reports and a TV report that might lend a little bit of a clue on what might be the problem but the film never directly points out this is the reason for the ‘weirdness of the animals’ or strange occurrences. The 1978 film can drag a little at certain points but has a great ending that makes up for it. Besides it’s from Australia, all their films should be given at least one if not two chances. The Blu-ray looks exceptional as usual from Synapse Films. The Blu-ray also has an audio interview with star John Hargreaves and a commentary from the producer and the cinematographer on the film. Wasn’t able to access the commentary for some reason as I am sure it’s a glitch but that doesn’t matter as this movie is enhanced with the restored version on Blu-ray as it relies on imaginary to tell a lot of the story. Give the film 2 out of 4 stars but overall package 3 out of 4 stars and is available at www.synapse-films.com . (Checked out a few other critics reviews of the Blu-ray screener package and no one had the same problem as I did so like I said “a glitch.”)

Edge

Edge of the Axe (DVD) – A somewhat bearable Spanish slasher film (but actually filmed mostly in California) about a person in a white mask hacking people all over town. There is no real good reason why they are but you will question why you are watching a movie about a computer guy trying to get with an underage girl most of the flick while pieces of people are being found nightly. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Junior (VHS/DVD-R) – I believe it is available on DVD but someone gave me their copy just for the mere reason they did not want it existing in their house! And for that reason I had to watch the 1985 unknown classic to most horror fans about two women who have been released from prison and decided they want to start a new life. A new life that means the two girls got to breathe new life into an old marina in a small southern town on a river. But a weird guy named “Junior” refuses to leave the girls alone. Very corny and hilarious especially the scenes of Junior talking to his mother on the front porch of their home makes the film at least watchable or at least for this horror movie fan as I give it 2 stars.

 

Bad Kids Go to Hell (DVD) – With a title like this I had to find a reason to watch it eventually and I did… Pittsburgh Penguins were pissing me off so I put this title on to see what Judd Nelson and Ben “Farscape” Browder had to do with it. It all comes down to a curse an Indian put on some rich people or rich kids and their school after dying or was it all a set up? You decide, all I know there is a weird scene of a nerdy redhead doing a strip tease in the middle of class. Horror movie… check! Nerdy redhead… checks twice. The movie isn’t your most interesting horror film to come down the pike but keeps it worth watching just to see where Judd Nelson’s character fits in? I give it 2 stars.

 

Invasion of the Pod People (DVD) – Apparently Asylum Entertainment tried to do an erotic remake of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”. Leave the porn alone and stick with the Sharknados, Gatoroid, Giant Octopuses, Corin Nemac, and chubby tatted up Tiffany or at least for me as I find that stuff much more entertaining than your poor attempt of a Misty Mundae resurrection. I give it crap because it was crap so let’s move on.

Final-Executioner-Front2

The Final Executioner (DVD) – The apocalypse has happened and rich people have hunters or executioners hunt down people or targets they consider expendable material. Its Eye-talian, it’s dubbed in English and all it was missing was Fred Williamson! So grab your six packs and enjoy this beautiful post-apocalyptic crap for what it is as a man seeks revenge against the executioner he escaped several days before. I give the film 2 ½ stars just for the cheese oozing off this flick.

 

Clown (DVD) – Released in the UK first and not entirely sure why but I finally got to see this Eli Roth presents project. The film starts off innocently enough where a man tries to come up with a solution for his son’s birthday party when the clown is double booked. The man finds an old clown costume in the house he is trying to fix up and sell and uses it to save the day at the party. Little does he know life would change as he wakes the next morning with the clown costume still on and cannot remove it? There isn’t a zipper. He even goes as far as trying to cut it off with an electric saw! He fails. Soon his wife is concern as she doesn’t believe him; he is getting crap from the father-in-law, and goes back to the house to search for clues on what this costume actually is. He calls this number for old costumes and meets a man who begins to tell him a story of the costume being made of demon hair and skin. And then he is almost beheaded. But also begins to fill a hunger, a hunger that can only be met by eating five young children. It gets radically disgusting and uncomfortable which makes the film awesome. Now, I am not going bat shit nuts for the film like some movie critics but I have to say it is nice to see something old become new again in horror. So move over Pennywise as I give this flick 3 stars and won’t be surprised there is a sequel in the works not too far in the future.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Gross Movie Reviews #345

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Gross Movie Reviews #345

 

By Tim Gross

 

Gingerclown (DVD) – A film made in Budapest but takes place in Hollywood, California 1983 where a group of local high school teenagers are hanging out behind the famous Hollywood sign and they call themselves “the Wolfpack”. Of course the lonely nerd named Sam or Tully as the “Wolfpack” calls him rides by on his bike and they make him an offer to be a part of their gang “The Wolfpack”. Sam takes them up on the offer for the mere reason he likes the cute blonde Jenny. They go to an old abandoned amusement park and is told he has two hours to enter the park and come back with something to prove his effort. The strange old place has a history of mysterious deaths and fires and hasn’t been open since the 60s. Once Sam enters, Jenny follows and the two are faced with odd evil things from an evil tea kettle to an evil pile of crap, something that makes you think this flick was lost from the Charles Band’s Full Moon collection over the years. What it comes down to is the park is full of expelled demons from hell that prey upon humans that enter. It has the cast of famous genre favorites in: Lance Henriksen, Tim Curry, Brad Dourif, and Michael freakin Winslow but they are all voice overs for the characters in the park. A fun concept for a horror flick but just never reaches its potential and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

The Scribbler (DVD) – Our film begins with a woman named Suki being interviewed or interrogated by a doctor and a detective to figure out what just happened at this woman’s mentally unstable halfway house/apartments I guess. The film is based on a comic book I never heard of but sure T-shirt Joe Garcia from www.fastcustomshirts.com would know?  The film is a little ridiculous, weird, dark, and very interesting. But you need to stick with this oddity as it takes about twenty minutes to get going as it lays out some plot for you to dig into and understand the subject matter better. But Suki tells a story of how crazy people in this building are being killed and the doctor and detective know that Suki suffers from multiple personalities herself. But without trying too much more of giving the film away Suki is given an electrical device from her that is supposed to help her get rid of her multiple personalities one by one. From there it becomes a lost project from the mind of David Croenberg if possible? It stars the likes of Gina Gershon, Eliza Dushku, Billy Campbell, and Michelle Trachtenberg and no doubt will be on end of the year list for best movies of 2015 as I give it 4 stars.

 

Apocalypse Pompeii (DVD) – Asylum Entertainment once again proves nothing is off limits and tries to capitalize on the big budget piece of crap called “Pompeii” that littered theaters last year. Adrian Paul’s wife and daughter go visit the ruins and the volcano erupts and only Adrian Paul and the brilliant John Rhys-Davies can save them. Its unwatchable crap but I still watched it as I give it 0 stars.

Razor Days

Razor Days (DVD) – A long awaited project that has been years in the making from Mike Watt and Happy Cloud Pictures is making its way out on the festival circuit. The film stars Debbie Rochon as Jessamay, a disfigured woman who has survived a horrible attack of rape, torture, and cannibalism. She approaches Anita (Amy Lynn Best) who helps women defend themselves and takes interest in Jess when Jess tells her story. But Jessamay believes if she escaped then there has to be other survivors? Survivors that need to be found as they got to feel the same way she does and that is to find these horrible things or men and wipe the earth clean of them. With Anita’s help they find a woman named Reina across the state and together they become fast friends and soon share the wanting of closure and no longer of being haunted by their horrible past. This new project from Happy Cloud Pictures is much different project you are used to seeing as they go dark, very dark and miserable. The flick feels a little like “Ms. 45”, “I Spit on Your Grave”, and “They Call Her One Eye” but walks that fine line of not going too far extreme and have Debbie Rochon possibly give her best performance since “American Nightmare”. The film also has appearances from Michael Varrati, Alan Rowe Kelly, and a few other Happy Cloud Pictures regulars. As much as I really enjoyed the deep darkness and grit of this film for me at least it felt like something else was going to happen but didn’t? But do not let that stop you from checking out Mike Watt’s darkest film to date as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. For more info on the film go check out:    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Razor-Days/125372234198963?fref=ts .

 

Starry Eyes (DVD) – A young woman named Sara who is a struggling actress believes she is meant to be a big star and will eventually do anything to get there. After another rejection for the film “The Silver Scream” she takes out on herself but the people see this and believe she could be right for the part if she is willing… At first Sara turns it down but soon runs back even if it means sucking an old dude’s wiener! Even with that she must complete the transformation. Predictable flick but has some great gore but not enough for me to want to revisit the film anytime soon as I give the film 2 stars.

 

The Pyramid (DVD) – It is 2013, Cairo, Egypt, and archeologists may have stumbled upon the biggest discovery ever as they find a pyramid under the surface of the desert. Something that may predate any of the ancient pyramids. Excited to investigate it all the plug has been pulled on them as war has broke out inside Cairo. Forced to pack up the archeologists and the camera crew that is following them quickly make their way into the tomb/pyramid to investigate soon understanding they are in a maze that was constructed to keep something in? I am always a sucker for this subject matter as a horror movie but sometimes it fails and this is one of those times. It’s not horrible but with a film like “The Descent” still fresh in many horror movie fan’s minds you cannot help but comparing the two. Interesting horror film that just taken the wrong turn of how it could have developed into something far cooler as I give it 2 stars.

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Pain Shack (DVD/YouTube) – Now mind you fine folks the film I watched is a rough cut that has since has a couple new scenes added and deleted in the official DVD that will be available. Anyway the film is made by the duo of Marissa and Alex Murphy. No, that isn’t Robocop Alex Murphy before you ask. But the film takes you on a long spiraling dark ride with the character Alex who believes his dream is to review music. To do this he studies YouTube and its users to come up with his own gimmick the “Noodledroop show”. In the process Alex becomes obsessed with a movie reviewer Ricky Shores and becomes abusive in his relationship with Marissa so he can achieve his ultimate goal of becoming a YouTube sensation as his followers grow or do they in this dark horror/comedy. The film runs a little long for its subject material in my opinion but I really enjoyed all the performances by all in the film and really enjoyed how Alex and Marissa filmed their characters because I believe I know some of these people currently or of at least met them on occasions at several conventions and for that kids I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on where you can purchase a copy of this film or see where its playing at next check out www.facebook.com/rickyshoresingstheblues .

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Gross Movie Reviews #344

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Gross Movie Reviews #344

 

By Tim Gross

 MurderCollectionV1

The Murder Collection Volume One (DVD) – A film from the famous Toe Tag Pictures aka Fred Vogel and crew. The best way to describe this film is the new generation’s “Faces of Death”. Yes indeed if you are over the age of 35 you remember the days of these crazy videos that the shelves in the early days of Video Home Movies. Now that I am done remembering the old days, let’s talk about this sick entry into the Toe Tag catalog. An unknown man named Balan has been taken into custody for hosting a web show that shows violent footage from around the world. This collection of violent acts was just a taste of what Balan posted before being arrested. Fred, Shelby, and crew once again test the limits of violent content and if you the viewer can take it? Another great project from some talented folk as I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars and you can purchase this fine flick at www.toetag.biz .

 

The Jitters (VHS/DVD-R) – A lame ass gang is trying to take over Chinatown, one store owner at a time. Well leave it to good old James Hong to be storing vampire Asians in his basement who are not ready for the afterlife since they have unresolved issues. But apparently this very lame gang of criminals since it’s rumored the one store owner Mr. Lee, who they killed, has over a $100,000 stashed somewhere. So the gang makes it their top priority to harass Lee’s niece and future husband for the money. Oh I forgot the Asian undead hop also! The off the wall flick makes for a great double feature with “Robo Vampire”. This film so bad it’s good especially when it looks like they just told James Hong to act like his crazy old character from “Big Trouble in Little China”. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Demon Warp (VHS/DVD-R) – Sasquatch is a mother fucking alien that crash landed over a hundred years ago and terrorizes a location that looks like it was stolen from “Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter”! And it just so happens to star George Kennedy, Billy Jayne, and the beautiful Michelle Bauer… 3 stars just for whoever thought this was a good movie idea!

 

Dead Body Man Chronicles (DVD) – A woman leaves her kid with drunken crazy ass grandpa while she goes to work. So grandpa decides it’s not only time for the kid to start drinking but tell him the story of the world’s greatest serial killer, ‘Willie’… and Willie is a chicken fucker! But the point is Willie’s life was screwed from the beginning when his stripper mom gave birth to him while stripping and her water breaks all over her customers. Willie knows he is screwed up but finds a home with some crazy people for a while who somehow understand him which eventually leads Willie getting into a fight with a dude in a chicken suit that leads to butt sex. It is the most random and hilarious serial killer film I have ever witnessed. For that I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Dead Kansas

Dead Kansas (DVD) – What once started as a short web series turned into a full fledge film or web series parts put together out on limited edition DVD. The film focuses on a father and daughter Emma in the Midwest who is just trying to live life the best they can since the zombie plague aka “the rottens” began years ago. Their neighbors or nemesis Jebediah and crew spend most of the film trying to kidnap Emma as they claim they want to begin “repopulating”. After Emma’s father is injured during the aftermath of a twister she spends her time on the run and trying to find a doctor who may have a cure for her father before he turns into a ‘rotten’. But the intriguing thing about the film is filmmaker and writer Aaron K. Carter doesn’t flood his film with cheap zombies but gives you the zombie, sorry, the rotten’s point of view when attacking and searching for flesh. A very cool little independent flick that was shot in California and nowhere the Midwest and also had a little help from great cameos in Irwin Keyes, “American Horror Story’s” Ben Woolf, and the talented and cute Juliette Danielle. Folks this flick is worth tracking down for the purchase and support of Aaron K. Carter as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. And yes they do admit there is two different actresses playing the character Emma, it’s called “limited time in the world of independent filmmaking” and I totally understand. Find out more info at: https://www.facebook.com/deadkansas?fref=ts . You can also now view it on Amazon Instant Video: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00U143XLI

 

Night Wars (Laserdisc/DVD-R) – Another Dan Haggerty flick that has David A. “I made Sledgehammer” Prior directing a story about two guys who are having nightmares of their days in Vietnam. And their dreams or nightmares are becoming more real every time they sleep as they are haunted by a buddy they left behind and a douche bag traitor that wants to torture them every time they fall asleep. Great, fun, crap that has one of those dream within a dream endings as I give it 2 stars just for the two dudes shooting up their apartment from the bed and couch!

 

Wild Country (DVD) – A lesser known horror film from the UK in 2005 that is about a wolf creature/werewolf. The story begins with a teenager giving birth in a hospital and giving the child up for adoption. Six weeks later she is out with her youth group going on an overnight hike. Faced with her ex-boyfriend showing she begins to rage and kick him in the beanbag. Once anger passes and the group tries to settle for the night they are scared by the local scary farmer dude then begin to hear a baby crying in the distance. Curious the girl and her ex investigate and find a baby in the ruins of a castle along with several dead bodies with their throats ripped out. The kids trying to do the right thing pick up the baby and bring it back to the camp site but now begin to hear scary unknown sounds like a monster is stalking them. The film keeps the plot simple, interesting, and bloody… Plus it does not hurt it’s a horror flick from over the great big body of water and that usually means good things. I give the killer wolf flick 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Gross Movie Reviews #343

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Gross Movie Reviews #343

 

By Tim Gross

 

Shark Assault (DVD) – The movie is also known as “Shark Week” and “Shark Island” and had a premiere on SyFy Channel that I somehow missed?  A man seeks revenge against several individuals who got his son killed and he will have them play a ‘survivor-type’ of game with sharks… and it stars Yancy Butler! If anything its hilarious just to watch a shark do its best “Tremors” imitation. I give the flick 1 star.

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The Axeman of Henderson County (DVD) – A newer independent slasher/serial killer flick from filmmaker Larry Parmiter has the likes of wrestling legend Hacksaw Jim Duggan and former college football star Major Harris grace the screen in his flick. The story takes place in a small rural town where a person has taken upon themselves to begin killing the townsfolk or storefront owners with an axe. But each time the killer does not leave many clues for the sheriff and also mocks them with letters. The film suffers from several minor issues; it has that first project type of feel? Which I had a chance to discuss with Mr. Parmiter at the recent Horror Realm convention including a horrible story of an editor that really wasn’t sure on the editing part but got paid for it. Larry has a good head on his filmmaking body and understands what mistakes were made and is excited to not only try to correct them in a remastered version of the film some time down the road but considers it a lesson learned for the next project. And hearing that Larry’s next project has me intrigued? In the meantime help out another cool independent filmmaker and check out the Facebook page for this slasher/serial killer flick: https://www.facebook.com/axemanofhendersoncounty . Besides I wanted to see this movie either way just for the mere fact that Hacksaw Jim Duggan plays the mayor. I give the flick 2 out of 4 stars.

Tinnitus

Tinnitus (DVD) – A pretty creepy short film about a love triangle that has gone bad. Filmmaker Bradley Walkowaik did a great job of building a lean, mean, and suspenseful short film that will have you asking what’s next. I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars. Find out more about the filmmaker here: https://www.facebook.com/brad.walkowiak?fref=ts .

 

Destroyer (VHS/DVD-R) – With this unknown 1988 flick (at least unknown to me anyway) I seen the box art late last year and knew I needed to see this horror flick. It is an 80s wet dream of a horror movie: Lyle Alzado as the killer or undead killer, Deborah Foreman as the cute stunt girl, Anthony Perkins as the director of the woman-in-prison flick, and Clayton Rohner who was the guy in “April Fool’s Day” that seem to be banging his girlfriend the whole film. Ivan Moser (Lyle Alzado) is on death row for murdering two dozen people and is going to be electrocuted. When it happens, power goes out, riot begins, and Moser’s body is never recovered. 18 months later a film production of a women’s prison movie is ongoing in the former prison that held Moser and people are starting to show up dead. All Moser wants is to be alone with Malone (Foreman’s character). Even though most deaths happen off screen there is one hell of a death scene with Moser killing someone with a jackhammer that is somewhat featured on the cover of the movie! When I talked about it on our Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast I gave it 3 stars but I got to amp it up a little and give it 3 ½ stars just because it has everything you look for in an 80s slasher flick. I do not remember anything about this flick even with “Shocker”, “The Horror Show”, and even “Prison” getting a lot of press at the time of this film. But glad I found it to enjoy its Lyle Alzado greatness!

 

Psycho Pike (DVD) – A lumber yard on the lake is dumping illegal waste into the lake causing many fish to die except one… The Pike! It is mutating into a large fish that has a taste for humans. Two couples go to their beachfront cabin on the lake to enjoy the summer but soon are in for a rude awakening as sickly fish begin to show up along with the police looking for dead bodies. “Psycho Pike” has it all as it’s the cheaper version of “Frankenfish” and beats it by 15 years! This B-movie greatness was so much fun I watched it two days in a row as I give it 3 ½ stars for its entertainment value!

My Zombie Flick

My Zombie Flick – (YouTube) – A short film that deals with zombies and their fans from a man who I believe gave us “Mini-Golf Massacre” and for that I am grateful. But the short film mocks “The Walking Dead” and its fans and also has a fun time mocking no budget films that hold zombie auditions. If you cannot laugh at yourself then what’s the point is what I got out of this fun mocking look at an over bloated zombie genre that I give 3 out of 4 stars as Bobby Keller declares his film to end or kill it all in zombie films. My favorite scene is a tie between the girl at the auditions who claims to be from Pittsburgh, Pa., and the two zombie movie makers arguing with two women at a bar about “The Walking Dead”. Check it out at: https://www.facebook.com/myzombieflick .

 

The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters (DVD) – A great old school monster/horror film from 1954 that I bet influenced many filmmakers and monster films of the 60s, 70s, and even early 80s. The story revolves around two men in the spirit of Abbott and Costello comedy try to seek out the landowners of a lot nearby their friend’s diner that could be used for a baseball diamond for the neighborhood kids. Little the Bowery boys know is the owners is a couple of crazed scientists, a very pretty but curious woman, and a murderous old lady who all have plans for the two men that all end in death. When you watch it you will draw a lot of parallels to the famous TV shows “The Munsters” and “The Addams Family”. I give this fun old school monster flick 3 stars.

 

Zombie Killers: Elephant’s Graveyard (DVD) – If there was a middle ground between the zombie storylines of the dramatic TV series “The Walking Dead” and George Romero’s “Dawn and Day of the Dead”, “Zombie Killers” may have found it? Doc is a man trying to keep a community together during a zombie apocalypse where walls have been built, an army or people called ‘zombie killers’ are trained to protect, and new laws are enforced to help protect those who live behind the walls. Many try to live life best they can as others wonder is there an answer or reason for the walking flesh eaters. As tensions mount inside the community between the religious fanatics and a man named Rory that many in the community do not trust there is a problem as two people captured from another safe-zombie free location come to warn the community of a zombie horde in the millions about to descend on the community. If you can get past the CGI zombie deer and fish you will most likely enjoy this bloody but dramatic at times zombie flick. If anything you will enjoy Dee Wallace playing the usual worrying mom character, Billy Zane being the great Billy Zane, and Miss Felissa Rose in her best character in my opinion since “Sleepaway Camp” where she plays the community’s religious nut as you can easily seeing her as a cult leader in many other films. We are talking she has found her Jeffrey Combs or Tim Thomerson role here folks. The zombie film doesn’t drag, gives enough blood and gore for nerds like me, and gives you an interesting storyline for the mainstream “Walking Dead” fans, especially for the filmmaker pointing to fracking being the cause of the zombies rising… I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars and a huge thank you to Miss Felissa Rose.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Gross Movie Reviews #342

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Gross Movie Reviews #342

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Equalizer (DVD) – Denzel’s latest effort just happens to be a reboot of a cool 80s TV show. Now with that being said if it wasn’t based on the TV show or under a different title I believe a lot of people would have a different opinion on this dramatic action flick. Denzel is just an older dude that happens to work at the bootleg Lowes or Home Depot (take your pick) and helps out his fellow employees and lives alone. He also goes to the same diner in the middle of the night to read and talk to a young prostitute about the weather, his books, and the pie at the diner. One night the young woman gets into a scuffle with her Russian pimp and Denzel’s character takes offense. What does he do he goes into the Russian pimp’s territory and fucks everybody up in less than 25 seconds. From there the war is on as a hitman/clean up man/one bad ass dude comes into town to clear things up and find out about this character that just killed five guys without anybody seeing him. We are talking some awesome and radical dramatic action stuff going on here people. Put it simply for me this may have been Denzel Washington’s best film ever! I give it 4 stars.

 

Deuces Wild (DVD/YouTube) – A film that takes place during the summer of ’58 or otherwise known as “the summer of blood” where two gangs in Brooklyn are out for blood after Norman Redus gets out of jail for a three year stint. It reminds of an updated version of “The Outsiders” and a little “West Side Story” minus the singing. Where the film shows how two gangs bloodlust changes their lives forever. Cool stuff as I give it 3 stars.

 

Last House on Dead End Street (VHS/DVD) – An independent 70s film which to me at least is nowhere near as interesting as the story or stories of how it came to be. Yeah this film has some die-hard fans that will hate me for saying that but come on the shit that went on years after this film is pretty god damn interesting. Pretty much the film is about a crazy/evil dude gets out of jail and wants to make money making real snuff films. I know you have seen stuff like this before but this is the film that most likely inspired all who have done something since. Especially since the director Roger Watkins aka Victor Janos for the film didn’t even claim making the film until the year 2000. He claimed they made the film in 1972 and somehow 1977 it was unleashed onto the exploitation community where several film goers for years claimed the film to be real?! Really interesting stories behind this flick but for the most part Watkins made a fake snuff film for about $1500 and it’s pretty fucked up so prepare yourself if you never have witnessed the carnage. The film is a little boring and bizarre in parts but will blow your mind when Mrs. Palmer’s legs are being hacked off among other torture. I give it 2 stars as a movie 4 star quality for the legend and many stories behind the making of the film, people who wouldn’t claim it, and the lawsuits.

 

The Clown Murders (VHS/DVD) – I stumbled upon another 1970s film is more thriller than horror, more rich people with rich people problems, and it stars John Candy! Four friends plot to kidnap a friend’s rich wife during a Halloween party only to fuck with their friend they are jealous of. But of course when it all gets down: one dude wants to rape her, another thinks they went too far, and the other two just fights about what should happen next. Like I said rich people with rich people problems which usually equals borefest as I give it 2 stars.

 

Zombie Toxin (VHS) – A completely random, retarded, and chaotic zombie film made in the UK on the cheap… very cheap. Somehow this Tom J. Moose flick has the tagline: ‘Monty Python meets Dawn of the Dead”. I am going to go out on a limb and disagree with this statement but that didn’t stop Mr. Moose in 1998 making a flick where a scientist and his assistant unleash a zombie toxin in the water supply. Which helps jolly old England countryside turn into a zombie apocalypse that just so happens to have a bootleg Hitler looking for the formula. It’s fun for the first 15 minutes but soon turns into a chore just to finish watching the flick. I give it a ½ star.

 

The Room (DVD) – Described on the DVD box as “a quirky black comedy”. It’s been a few days and I am still waiting for the comedy. Or is the comedy when the lead character Johnny kills himself. Damn! I just gave away the movie and for good reason as I try to save you from this bad movie. Hell it wasn’t even that good of an episode of “Red Shoe Diaries” as I believe lead actress Juliette Danielle (Lisa) gets her beaver obliterated three times over in the first 15 minutes of the film and seems to be up for more, including showing her beauties at a drop of the hat when Johnny’s best friend stops by. Again even after all the nudity I still fail to see the comedy. Don’t try and explain this film to me because I don’t care and it’s all Bootleg Tim Gross’s fault that I watched it as I give it 0 stars.

 

Jug face (DVD) – Apparently Mountain rednecks believe in this dirty water hole they call “The Pit”. They pray to it, they sacrifice to it, they totally believe in it. Until the crazy family member makes a jug face of a young girl who is pregnant and doesn’t want to die. Never mind she got knocked up by her brother! But anyway she hides the jug face and other people around begin to die horribly until she tells the truth and end of the movie… literally! I give it 0 stars and still question why I watched it?

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Valley of the Sasquatch (Vimeo/DVD) – This is the third film I have had the pleasure of checking out from writer/producer/director/all around talented filmmaker dude John Portanova. And ‘Valley’ does not disappoint folks as The October People crew as usual put together a film that relies a lot on storytelling which can be rare these days but when needed will get the bucket of blood out. A father and son head out to an old family cabin as they have fallen on real bad times. Mike believes slightly this may be a chance for his father Roger and him to reconnect but soon finds out his father has other plans for the weekend and the rest of Mike’s life. Soon Roger’s party weekend comes to a screeching stop when a possible Sasquatch or Squatches attack the hunting party. Things quickly get out of hand and Mike is unsure of how to rescue his father let alone surviving the night. Great story telling and an awesome Sasquatch costume makes this a must see in 2015 as I give Portanova and The October People crew’s flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the flick at www.theoctoberpeople.net .

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The Lashman (YouTube/DVD) – Another independent effort from filmmaker Cameron McCasland puts together two things I like in a film: the 80s and a slasherfest. Mr. McCasland does a wonderful job of giving “The Lashman” a 80s feel with the clothes and vehicles and even characters. He also gives it that ghost story in the middle of the movie that explains the unstoppable killer trying to kill off a group of friends on a weekend of fun. But the weekend of fun, drinking, and swimming comes to an end when The Lashman is loose in the Kentuckian countryside again. The low budget effort suffers from pacing issues but the passion of making it an old school 80s flick goes a long way for me when watching movies and for that I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more details on the fun horror flashback film go to: https://www.facebook.com/lashmanmovie .

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

See yinz at Horror Realm March 6-8th, 2015 as you will find me in the “Out of Print Film Room” presented by Gross Movie Reviews. For details visit www.horrorrealmcon.com .

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

The Wrath of Gross book makes its first public appearance

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Come find me in the film room kids as my new book makes its first public appearance and I will have copies for sale!

http://www.horrorrealmcon.com for details of this fun event

https://www.facebook.com/events/1463268877265553

https://www.facebook.com/HorrorRealmCon

HR spring 2015

Wrath of Gross color

Gross Movie Reviews #341

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Gross Movie Reviews #341

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Deadly Spawn (DVD/YouTube) – Oh one of the first low budget films that Bruce Lentz of Incredibly Strange Video introduce me too… Great stuff as some cool looking aliens land on earth and make their new home in the basement of a house where there is lots people to feast on. The film was made on a mere $25,000 budget and sports some wicked ass creature and gore effects that more than gives any horror fan a reason to watch at least once! A great creature feature that should get more love than it has as I give it 3 ½ stars.

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The Mothertown (DVD/YouTube) – A first time effort from independent UK filmmaker John Williams who apparently is giving all the proceeds from the movie to local charities in the UK which is pretty cool… But anyway two security guys find a weird naked dude in the gym shower and from there the zombie apocalypse begins! The film focuses on several groups of people who are not only trying to survive the zombie apocalypse but entertain themselves. The film also sports possibly one of the funniest scenes in a zombie apocalypse film where two men who are taking part in an S+M thing are left tied up and forced to chat as their slave master has left them for work. The film keeps cutting back in on these two and it gets funnier every time it does. There is an enormous amount of zombie extras and a gory zombie wedding scene which gives the film that cool zombie apocalypse feel. But what hurts the film and stops the story in its tracks of being interesting is when these groups of people find themselves being held by two so-called military personal waiting for their ride to leave the town before its destroyed by a nuclear attack. Williams does a great job of building a fun zombie film but shows the growing pains of what it takes to try to pull it off. I really enjoyed seeing all the extras and enjoyed the film just wish the last quarter of the film would have been edited more. I give the overseas independent effort 2 out of 4 stars and more information about the film can be found at: https://www.facebook.com/themothertown .

 

Vengeance of the Dead (VHS) – Another Full Moon movie I can cross off the list as I pull a flick out of my basement to check out… With this 2001 effort a character named Eric comes home and is haunted by a ghost named Julia. Not a whole lot happens in this flick as the film really doesn’t go anywhere interesting. I have seen better and have seen worse but you wanna be bored this is your movie to watch. I give the flick 1 star.

 

Rabid (DVD) – Another David Croenberg classic from the mid-70s, that stars the beautiful and talented actress Marilyn Chambers. Rose and her boyfriend are riding their motorcycle out in the country land outside of Montreal only to get into a horrible accident. Rose and her boyfriend get help from a plastic surgery center nearby where Rose will need several skin grafts. Rose receives several experimental skin grafts that heal quickly but Rose awakens from her coma in a crazy state not understanding her hunger until her armpit begins sucking blood out of a man’s neck. Soon Rose helps super-rabies get out in the general population of Montreal and people are attacking anyone and everywhere with the government in dismay of how to stop the super rabies. If you are a fan of “Shivers” and not seen this flick yet? Get your ass to Amazon and buy or rent this shit as I give it 3 ½ stars. And thank you to David Croenberg for making such a bizarre but awesome horror flick.

 

Cut Throat (VHS) – Keep finding these forgotten Full Moon flicks that I always wanted to see but never found the time to see them. This flick is about a horror film “Death Blade” where the actors and actresses are being killed on set and keeps comparing itself to “Scream” constantly. I have seen better but was entertaining enough that I stayed awake for the ending as I give it 2 stars.

 

Asylum of Terror (VHS) – A 1998 film that looks like a shot-on-video flick from 1988 that has a closed down prison/asylum become the new local haunted house where one its psycho inmates has decided to make a personal visit and slay those who enter. The horror film has some great gore throughout but suffers from pacing issues that makes the film awfully boring at times as I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Flashback (VHS) – A German slasher film dubbed in English about a woman who leaves an asylum after ten years to be a French tutor for some rich kids. When the rich kids play a bad prank on her, she snaps and begins slaying everyone involved. Worth watching the flick for the mere reason for a body goes through a large chipper! I give the flick 2 stars.

 

The Graveyard (VHS) – A 1972 film about a young man David who hates cats and for good reason as his mother has tortured him for years. She blames him for her crippled hip and stopping her luxury life with the man she always loved. Once David’s wife and kid are dead he gets wants revenge on his mother. Animal lovers prepare yourself for a very uneasy opening to the film as I give the movie 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

See yinz at Horror Realm March 6-8th, 2015 as you will find me in the “Out of Print Film Room” presented by Gross Movie Reviews. For details visit www.horrorrealmcon.com .

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Gross Movie Reviews #340

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Gross Movie Reviews #340

 

By Tim Gross

 

Yor, The Hunter from the Future (DVD) – A great combo movie that somehow was able to combine “Beastmaster” and “Caveman” with some weird no budget droids. This classic from the early 80s is about a man named Yor, who doesn’t know it yet but is the savior for a future generation that has been hiding among the mountains. His people let him go as a child to live among the caveman-like humans in hopes of learning to fight for his life and be their savior. If you are like me and only knew it existed and never seen it until now then start tracking it down now you will not be disappointed. And for that I give it 3 stars.

 

Beauty Queen Butcher! (DVD) – A shot-on-video movie from 1991 directed by Jill Zurborg is actually very brilliant and not talked about much. Our story begins with a bigger girl named Phyllis who has been entered into the ‘Miss Slough Queen’ beauty queen pageant by her nemesis Muffy and company to be embarrassed. It does not help Ms. Purnish the pageant hostess hates Phyllis also. As the pageant is going down Phyllis is nervous and has her friend bring her a box of Twinkies which of course gives us the famous line borrowed from “Stand By Me” (my best friend since 6th grade, Craig Wallace) would be proud, “Chow down Lard Ass!” If that wasn’t enough torture the beauty queen and her runners-up put Phyllis’s cat in the microwave which sends Phyllis over the edge and begins killing them one by one. But with each death Phyllis rises up the ladder of ‘Miss Slough Queen’ as there has to be one every year according to Ms. Purnish… What is amazing with this low budget feature is it borders two hours in length which usually spells ‘death’ for most low budget films but in this case is unnoticed because of how much fun and entertaining the film truly is! So I thank Miss Zurborg for giving a great effort and give it 4 stars.

 

Freak (VHS) – A bad independent flick from 1999 but entertaining in its own little way. Example: the box says the story starts 25 years ago with a monstrosity! In the opening of the film it says, “Nine years ago”… Go figure, I find this shit hilarious and entertaining but anyway a mother who was some kind of recluse has a son who she hates and keeps chained up with a burlap bag over his head. One night when she throws her newborn in a barrel fire, the son bashes her head in. Present time/1999, two sisters moving to a new home across several states come in contact with the monstrosity when he escapes a van owned by the asylum that housed him. Sounds better than it was but what the hell you only live once so go ahead and watch it? I did! I give it 1 star.

 

Repo Jake (VHS/DVD-R/YouTube) – 1990… Dan Haggerty aka Grizzly Adams… and he is a Repo dude! If this shit had evil Nazi elves I would been going to bed with aluminum foil on my head knowing someone is tapping my brain for movie ideas? Jake is new in town and has just gotten a job at K+K Repo. He meets a nice young lady trying to be an actress, makes friends at the repo joint, is introduce to slam track racing, and just happens to repossess everything that includes helicopters. Yep mother fucking Grizzly Adams is a chopper pilot. This is the type of bad b-action shit I live for. I give it 3 stars.

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Chrysalis (DVD/Vimeo) – The film is being released under a different name “Battle Apocalypse” and was directed by John Klein who bases his story in the future of the year 2038. Everything is dead, almost everyone is gone, and there seems to be only a wasteland of infected left. Two survivors are just trying to survive the best way they can until they come in contact with a another woman one evening while traveling through a big empty city or so they thought. Josh and Penelope take her in and try to make the best of it as their new friend tells them about a bigger group of people that will be waiting outside of the city. Problem is they must fight through the infected to get there. Klein provides hints along the way of what exactly happen to make this wasteland possible and stays away from the term ‘zombies’ or even ‘ghouls’ throughout the film. What interested me was instead of going the way of gore galore the zombie Eye-talian way, John Klein lets his characters and dialogue  bring his imaginative brilliant vision to life. Klein’s film succeeds where the highly regarded zombie film “The Dead” failed. He does not rely on the ‘zombies’ or in this film’s case the ‘infected’ to tell the story but the survivors of the fallout of 2019 and how they are still surviving all these years later to tell it. For that I thank you John Klein as you have given me the first horror flick to be on my “best of 2015 list”. I give the independent flick 4 out of 4 stars and info on it can be found at www.therestaredead.com .

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Legacy of Thorn (DVD/Vimeo) – Okay horror fans we got a new independent flick from the UK that combines elements of the “Splatterhouse” video game, Jason X steroided look, and leap year. MJ Dixon crafted a story about a group of friends who have been attacked by a supernatural force four years before on February 28th, now four years past and barely surviving the last attack the group of friends capture the supernatural being and to kill it for good. But the local authorities’ break-in on them right before they are to behead the being (Thorn) and gory chaos begins as the unstoppable supernatural force slashes and hacks his way through everyone. Is there way to stop him? Is there a real reason he only comes every four years looking for a singular person? And why does a group of armed personal show up to capture Thorn and we get to see they are a part of “Project Slasher House”? (Which “Slasher House” is another flick from filmmaker MJ Dixon I am now interested in seeing.) All great questions in this fun and crazy over the top supernatural slasher flick. I love this kind of independent horror flicks because it shows vision, fun, and excitement! Maybe Mr. Dixon needs to contact Mr. Steve Rudzinski here in the states about his project “Slasher Hunters” because great minds think alike!!! And for that I give this wonderful project from the UK 3 out of 4 stars and you can find out more about it at www.legacyofthorn.com .

Pernicious

Pernicious (DVD/Vimeo) – Three pretty young woman go to Thailand to “save the world” in their own words. Julia and friends are staying at a nice hut, home, not totally sure what you call it on that side of the world but anyway they get to their place of dwelling and find a freaky ass gold statue of a child. The girls go out and party, pick up some ugly dudes, get drugged, and the three go “all Fred Vogel and Toe Tag Pictures” on these three dumb dudes. The girls wake up like they didn’t sleep to find the statue has gone, their gold jewelry is gone, and the ugly dudes are gone. Not sure of calling the police or what to do but they do decide they need to replace the statue or they will get fucked up. So of course they go visit a witch and she tells them “the statue could be a black market thing”. Never mind the story some old crazy Thai dude keeps trying to tell them about the statue. But apparently it’s not going to end well for Julia and friends as they didn’t pay tribute to this odd statue when arriving. The horror film has its gory moments and believes James Cullen Bressack has made another film that will make a lot of horror fans happy. Be warned my friends there is a gruesome fingernail removal scene, I know some of you will cringe or puke… I have seen it. So keep your eye out for this gruesome flick as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars and you can find out more at www.jamescullenbressack.com .

 

Megaforce (DVD) – Oh I so wanted to see this movie for so long and now that I finally have, I was not disappointed in a film that you could call a prelude to the G.I.JOE cartoon. No shit folks, Barry Bostwick and his hair command an elite force aka Phantom Army that defends freedom all over the world. They are hired by that dude that gave Michael Knight, K.I.T.T. and they need to go fight some commandos led by Henry Silva. But the topper for me was Michael Beck showing up and rides a motorcycle just like the one he does in “Battletruck aka Warlords of 21st Century”. My mind was blown people… They work their ass off to make the filler of the movie interesting but it pays off when Barry Bostwick and his hair are flying on a motorcycle! Believe it as I give this masterpiece of greatness 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

See yinz at Horror Realm March 6-8th, 2015 as you will find me in the “Out of Print Film Room” presented by Gross Movie Reviews. For details visit www.horrorrealmcon.com .

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Gross Movie Reviews #339

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Gross Movie Reviews #339

 

By Tim Gross

 

Smiley (DVD) – I was told to stay from this flick but you know me that is like telling a mosquito don’t go to the bug zapper… But anyway I finally sat and watch this flick that is based on some weird internet urban legend. It’s dated already since supposedly you go into some chat roulette room and wish death in so many words upon someone and this thing with a smiley face shows up behind them and kills them. Sounds cool but gets annoying very quickly especially with the lack of bloodshed throughout the film but did somewhat enjoy the twist where it’s just a prank pulled by a demented chatroom group.  I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Deadly Blessing (DVD) – An odd early 80s film that I can check off my list of films I never seen. If that wasn’t enough it’s directed by Wes Craven and stars the likes of Michael Berryman, Sharon Stone, and Ernest Borgnine and based in Amish country of eastern Pa., even though it was shot entirely in Texas. But Borgnine’s oldest son breaks away from the crazy pack Amish and marries a woman that they call an Incubus! The dude dies of a horrible death but that doesn’t stop Borgnine calling her an Incubus and warning all more death will come. Weird, odd, and not a much talked about film from Craven’s career which is all the more reason to give it a watch as I give 2 ½ stars.

 

Silent Hill: Revelation (DVD) – Sharon and father has been on the run since her mother Rose had disappeared in Silent Hill. But “The Order” has found a way to try and bring Sharon back to Silent Hill and that is kidnapping her father as she would come willingly to Silent Hill and that would please “Alyssa”. The film stars Sean Bean again and Malcolm McDowell as this is the film that reminds me of the game not that first film which I just felt was boring at times. Unlike the “Resident Evil” adaptions, “Silent Hill” got it right. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

The Midnight Hour (YouTube/DVD) – An ABC TV flick from 1985 that just happen to star Lavar Burton, Peter Deluise, Kevin McCarthy, Dick Van Patten, voice of Wolfman Jack, Kurtwood Smith, and the Home Alone kid shows up for an uncredited role as a trick or treat kid. Anyhow some high school kids steal 300 year old costumes from the town museum for a Halloween party and joke around with a ritual at the local legendary cemetery. With this prank they back demons, witches, and the dead because some evil cursed the town 300 years ago and it’s up to the nerd of the group to figure out how to save everyone and the town. Fun stuff from the mid-80s as I give it 3 stars.

 

Rage of Honor (DVD) – The action film stars Sho Kosugi aka that bad ass Asian dude from “Enter the Ninja” and “Revenge of the Ninja”. After his partner is killed while trying to bring down a druglord his character takes it upon himself to kill everyone involved no matter who gets in his way in this over the top crazy action film that no words can do it justice. I give it 3 stars.

 

Night of the Sharks (YouTube/DVD) – A weirdo Eye-talian flick that stars the underrated actor Treat Williams as a shark hunter and his buddy Antonio Fargas best known for his work in the alien flick “The Borrower”. Treat Williams aka David has a brother named James who sends him a CD that just so happens to have damning evidence of a mob’s illegal dealings. David doesn’t want to have anything to do with it and doesn’t think of it until his brother shows up and is killed soon after by the gangsters that wanted him killed. Now the gangsters are trying to buy the CD off of David but also plan his untimely death.  Fun random shit piles into a film that is a must see for Treat Williams fans, hell there is a scene of a gangster being eaten by a shark. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

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Auteur (DVD/Vimeo) – A new Cameron Romero joint that happens to star Tom Sizemore and involves a kid named Jack who is doing a documentary on a talented filmmaker Charlie Buckwald who disappeared after finishing his horror flick “Demonic”.  Jack wants to find out the truth behind the film and why Charlie decided to disappear? Jack’s project begins with a simple mysterious post card that points to where he could find Charlie Buckwald. Along the way Jack gets interviews from all involved and tries to find out why things went wrong. Soon after Jack gets the courage to face Charlie he soon finds out there is a lot he does not understand and there is good reason Charlie wanted to disappear so the film would never be shown. Charlie went over the edge to get the perfect film made and paid the price when he brought in real exorcism shit and cursed the film! B.J. Hendricks aka Jack was essential to bringing some movie magic into this low budget film. His actions, fandom, passion of sorts for the Charlie Buckwald character takes the film from the usual independent fare to something special, something more, something interesting and worth seeking out when released. I give the independent flick 3 out of 4 stars. You can find out more at www.jamescullenbressack.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

See yinz at Horror Realm March 6-8th, 2015 as you will find me in the Gross Movie Reviews “Out of Print Film Room”. For details visit www.horrorrealmcon.com .

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Gross Movie Reviews #338

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Gross Movie Reviews #338

 

By Tim Gross

 

Detention of the Dead (DVD) – Another quirky zombie flick trying to do something different like parodying “The Breakfast Club” among a few other pop culture films. High school kids trying to battle the undead flesh eaters as they are trapped inside on just a typical day of school and of course the nerds seem to have the answers for the jocks, drug dude, and the smoking hot girl of how to survive… Maybe? Lots of blood but it just becomes bland half way through as most do. But best teenage zombie flick I have seen in the past decade has to be “Dance of the Dead” but for this flick I gotta give 2 stars.

 

The Nostril Picker (DVD) – The film is also known as “The Changer” and recently released on DVD by that great independent company www.massacrevideo.com . This lesser known independent film is from 1988 and about a dude named Joe who really doesn’t have friends, a job, or money but wants women. So just like any other poor scumbag he visits the local hobo that tells him the secret of changing his appearance so he could get close to teenage girls. Soon Joe looks like a pretty blonde girl who is new in town and has no friends until she or he meets a few at the tennis courts. Then Joe as a girl and himself goes about his sleazy murdering spree! A pleasant surprise to watch and a perfect film for family entertainment night as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

The Unnamable II (VHS) – Only able to scare up a VHS copy in the US, there is an Eye-talian PAL DVD I believe floating around but I say wait for the special edition… Anyway this 1992 sequel literally picks up seconds after the original film loosely based on the work of H.P. Lovecraft. Randolph Carter wants to prove the 300 year creature exists and protect the “Necronomicon” after his buddy is taken to the hospital and the police clean up the dead bodies. So Carter searches out the assistance of a scholar played by John Rhys-Davies to help him prove the creature exists. They find its lair and caves under the old house on the college campus and the creature is injured. They find some drawings that they decipher and split the creature and its former human self “Alyda” a part. But the bloodbath continues as the creature wants Alyda back. A fun underrated sequel I was glad I gave a second chance too after seeing it when it was first released on video all those years ago. David Warner plays the dean of the school which he is always fun to see in a horror flick and Julie Strain plays the creature! Awesome horror stuff folks as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Burning Moon (DVD) – In 1992, there was this little known horror film in Germany made by a young gorehound named Olaf Ittenbach. His first project is an anthology with two main stories and the wrap around dealing with this dude telling his sister the stories to help her sleep before he brutally stabs her. The first story is about a serial killer fascinated by a woman named Julia. The second story gets even weirder as a priest practices Christianity during the day and by night rapes, kills, worships Satan, you know the good stuff! The priest accidentally gets a local man blamed for his sins and killed only to have hell pay a visit to the one who killed the innocent. The movie can be rough, boring, and just weird (not a good way) but then comes the final 15 minutes of what I call the reason I enjoy Mr. Ittenbach… He gives us the vision of hell and it’s like Tom Savini in his prime, Greg Nicotero, Screaming Mad George in his prime, and the brain of Fred Vogel got mixed in a blender and throw on screen! It’s absolutely beautiful. I may only give the film 2 stars but the ending is well worth seeing.

 

Grave Encounters (DVD) – After many people saying I need to see this film I decided to sit and watch it. First before I review this flick and its sequel will someone please explain to me how the footage got to the studio for it to be shown or was that explained in the sequel by the “Death Awaits” thing and I don’t really care?… Anyway a ghost hunting crew who doesn’t entirely take the ghost hunting business serious has gotten their show to air on a cable network and while working on episode six they disappeared. Episode six involves the small crew going to a closed down asylum which had a horrible history of doctors experimenting on the insane and patients that were just dropped off there because their family no longer wanted to care for them. Plus a lot of people who live nearby believe it to be haunted. Once in and the crew is doing their show not a lot happens and once they are ready to call it a wrap that is when they find out they cannot leave and strange eerie things happen. One by one the crew is driven insane and disappears or killed by ghosts that haunt the asylum that seems to be in a wormhole. Blah, most of these are not my cup of tea but of course I will keep watching hoping to find a good one as I give this 2 stars.

 

Grave Encounters 2 (DVD) – The sequel picks up with several YouTube movie reviewers reviewing the film “Grave Encounters”. One reviewer in particular is contacted by “Death Awaits” about his review and this sends the reviewer into mass craze of finding out the truth behind the first film being real or not. He gets his friends to take a road trip to the so-called fake asylum only to find it boarded up and “Death Awaits” painted on the front door. Breaks in, the friends begin to die, but the reviewer finds the host of “Grave Encounters” in the basement beaten, battered, crazy, yelling something about he cannot escape and a red door is the exit. The sequel takes an interesting turn in plot but not enough for me to care as usual but will give it props for trying as I give it 2 stars.

 

R.I.P.D. (DVD) – If you are bored of awesome horror flicks and once in a while you need that crap on a stick kinda flick? Well, here’s your answer this pile of elephant crap that sounds like it should be fun but just disappoints you like when you want Taco Bell tacos and instead you get bootleg mall Food Court Taco Bell tacos that give you the shits instantly! Jeff Bridges… okay, James Hong… yes, Ryan Reynolds… umm why, seems like a “Men in Black” rip-off. Yep, shits for one! I dare you to go watch this and say it’s good with a straight face. I have seen worse but this is just wrong to make someone sit through it? I give it a ½ star.

 

Pieces of Talent (DVD) – A very interesting independent horror film about a man named David Long who is a filmmaker, sort of? He uses VHS cameras to shoot all his scenes so he can watch them at home on his top loader VHS player. But he is also a serial killer who uses his real life murders for his feature project. Constantly searching out his next victim/star David wants a specific actor for his film. And fate happens as David meets Charlotte at a strip club. Well not in so many words as David is beaten up and thrown out the back door of the strip club and Charlotte the waitress takes pity and helps David to his vehicle and driving him home. Intrigued by the good deed done by the nice young lady David becomes fascinated by her and has coffee with her. He then decides that there could be a possible part in his feature for her but he is not exactly ready for her. The sweet young Charlotte never has clue what she is about to witness until it’s too late. The film has some originality, great story telling, cool gore shots, and some great casting of David Long as David and Kristi Ray as Charlotte.  Well worth checking out this independent horror film as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Nite Owl (DVD) – John Leguizamo, a cameo appearance of Caroline Munro, and it’s a black and white artsy urban vampire flick. Time has not been kind to this film but if interested it’s about Leguizamo’s character worried about his sister who didn’t come home the night before and soon finds out that the guy named Jake she hooked up with is a vampire. I give the artsy independent flick 1 out of 4 stars.

 

Killer Kart (YouTube) – A student film after my own heart as it’s a 14 minute short film from Florida State University about a killer grocery cart at the local supermarket. Hopefully the characters Hale and Cass can survive its thirst for blood when the store closes? This hilariously gory film does it the right way of keeping it short and entertaining and I thank FSU film students for that as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Bloodrayne: The Third Reich (DVD) – Uwe Boll felt like video game/horror movie fans needed a third bootleg “Castlevania” movie especially since the real “Castlevania” project will never get off the ground. First it was fantasy times, second it was the old west, this time the big boobie Bloodrayne is fighting Nazis in WWII helping a small group of freedom fighters. By mistake she turns a Nazi commander (Michael Pare) into a day walker or vamp that can survive sunlight. With the help of evil scientist Clint Howard they want to deliver Bloodrayne’s blood to Hitler to make him immortal. The movie was poop but did find it entertaining watching Clint Howard trying to fake a German accent so for that I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

I Drink Your Blood (DVD) – To sum it up best never trust dirty hippies and young boys that sell meat pies. Why… well its 1970 and we got some naked dirty hippies doing naked satanic rituals in a remote area of the woods where a local girl happens to have a crush on one of the hippies’ and watches the ritual. When the group gets ahold of her they drug and rape her. Next day the hippies van breaks down and they just happen to roll into the local girl’s town that is a ghost town since there is construction on a dam being built and the town is going to be torn down. The girl tells grandpa what happen the night before he confronts the hippies who beat his old ass up and the girl’s young brother goes into the woods to kill a rabid dog. Once dead he takes blood from the dog and injects into his mom’s meat pies sold at the bakery which the dirty hippies buy, eat, and go fucking bonkers! Stabbings, limbs being hacked off, people foaming at the mouth, people biting and infecting others, people setting themselves on fire, crazy family entertainment I tell you. The perfect midnight flick to watch as I give it 4 stars.

 

Beyond the Door (DVD) – Half Eye-talian and half US production about a woman who gets pregnant with her third child and it’s the devil and possesses her. Meanwhile her crazy ex-dead boyfriend Dimitri is back in town to ensure the baby’s abnormal arrival for Satan to be reborn or just some crazy voice in his head we hear throughout the movie that claims it will give Dimitri more years to live if he helps. Yep, it’s a fucked up “Exorcist” rip-off that has its lulls throughout the flick but enough weirdness to see it all the through to the end! I give it 2 stars.

Casebook

The Casebook of Eddie Brewer (DVD) – When looking for a ghost hunting flick worth watching or independent flick of interest always check out the UK titles because they always seem to stir something different up whether its big budget or independent like this different paranormal flick. The film is shot documentary style most of the film as it follows a long time paranormal expert Eddie Brewer, who doesn’t exactly, believes in ghosts as much as he believes in the unexplained. As the film rolls on Mr. Brewer explains his old but effective tactics and why he prefers to work alone than in a team like most so-called experts do these days. While working on two separate cases Eddie comes across possibly the best evidence he has ever witnessed and is very unsure of how to deal with this dilemma on top of trying to figure out why a little girl is being bothered by a poltergeist. Even though the film is very dialogue driven its interesting as its main character is not a true believer as most characters are in paranormal films and the documentary style actually adds to the Brewer character’s sincerity. This film proves there is still some original thought in the paranormal film genre and was a rare delightful treat to see a movie about the paranormal again. I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars and more info about the film can be found at www.shock-o-rama.com .

 

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See yinz at Horror Realm March 6-8th, 2015 as you will find me in the Gross Movie Reviews “Out of Print Film Room”. For details visit www.horrorrealmcon.com .