This week we come back with a grudge and bring with us 3 more flicks of varying quality. First a movie Kyle has always wanted to see but avoided in the mom and pop video store days in THE BOG. Then we go to Italy to check out a Giallo flick that John picked out in EYEBALL. And finally Tim chats about a fine independent flick in THE SHED. Also we have a long chat about how we would make a sequel to Schindler’s List, Regional food that we ate growing up being poor kids, and whatever else nonsense comes dribbling outta our mouths. We also chat about what we have been watching, and we answer your listener question. So download this episode or Charles Band will continue to make bad movies and burn all your monies.
Gross Movie Reviews #527
Eyeball (DVD) – Giallo fans rejoice as I dived deep into this feature where tourists are all getting stabbed in the eyeball by an unknown killer. Police are baffled at who could be the killer as these tourists are traveling together and all can be suspects. But eventually the police come up with a clue that helps decide who the killer is when they figure out all the victims have the same color eyeball. This 1975 feature has a little bit of gore, the corny music that will stick you long after the film, and a killer that loves fucking people’s eyeballs up but that wasn’t enough for me as I give this film 2 stars. Let me explain “the giallo’ is not in my wheelhouse but always willing to give it at least one watch because you never know if there is one I go gaga over?
Hoax (DVD) – A TV producer is told he has one last chance to come up with a hit show so he takes a chance to go looking for Bigfoot! There have been recent disappearances in the Colorado Mountains and the word is that a rumor of a Sasquatch has roamed the area for years. So the producer thinks, “why not bring real evidence back and make it a reality show.” Ben Browder (Farscape and Stargate SG-1 fame) plays the producer as he takes a small crew that includes a security officer (Brian Thompson) just in case they do actually find something. The crew of thinks it is all bullshit until a parent of one of the recently missing is a part of their crew to help search the area as cameras are set up everywhere. Soon after hitting the base camp a crew member goes missing setting up the crew to start believing in the rumors of Sasquatch. Should they finish the production or run? Kids, remember the title of the film as the climax hits as I enjoyed this SyFy Channel-lite film fare up until then as I give it 2 stars.
You’re Next 3: Pajama Party Massacre (DVD) – This 2007 independent effort was written by Dustin Lavalley and Joe Knetter. The 23 minute film centers around two young ladies (Elske McCain and Scarlett Salem aka Sarah French) having a night to themselves and the women tell stories about serial killers that were never caught. This set up for the girls to soon become victims of an unknown killer that is stalking the home. Lots of extras on the disc for fans but also explains the title as there is flashbacks aka prequel shorts to this longer short film. Not sure if that makes a lick of sense but anyway I give this ‘massacre’ title 2 ½ stars as it keeps it simple: Blood, Boobs, and… a beast.
Oasis of Lost Girls (DVD) – Looking to fill your void with European sleaziness then I got a piece of trash for yinz sleazy bastards to enjoy. A 1981 film that has found new life on the Full Moon streaming platform and DVDs. A couple of sick bastards pick up women, take them home, drug them, and “try them out” before they sell the girls to even sleazier assholes. These sleazoids take the girls to an island to be raped then trained for “work”! Another genre not exactly in my wheelhouse but sometimes I do have to pull my head out of the sand and check out something other than ‘massacre’ titles. Sadly I chose this title that I give 1 star too. Yes, this isn’t my favorite but I do know there is a certain audience that just eats this genre and sometimes they just didn’t know some of these titles have been made available again for public consumption.
Invasion of the Scream Queens (DVD) – A 1992 documentary from iconic independent filmmaker Donald Farmer that I remember seeing a few clips for then and reading about in a horror magazine. It features interviews and film clips of actresses Michelle Bauer, Martine Beswick, Monique Gabrielle, and many more talking about their experiences on these B-movies and how they made careers for themselves. They talk good times and bad and in recent years we have seen many of these… but what makes this a hidden gem of a documentary is it ends on a high note with interviewing Mary Woronov! I have always found her and her career super interesting as she has literally done it all in Hollywood. This interview made this documentary just an absolute must watch as I give this movie doc 3 stars and well done Mr. Farmer.
Lethal Nightmare (DVD) – First I have seen this movie called ‘Lethal Nightmares’ and ‘Lethal Nightmare’ either way it is the same movie made by the famous Polonia Brother duo in 1992. Second the film was never released until recently as it was a remake shot on Super-8 of an earlier film called ‘Hallucinations’. The DVD begins with an intro from Mark Polonia who gives the viewer a history of how and why they remade the film and it not being released. The film centers on a young man Doug who is horrific weird dreams/visions. Doug and his brother first blame the older weirder brother for just fucking up the family dynamic that would possibly cause these dreams. Because in reality all Doug wants is his kitty after believing he seen it murdered. This is only the beginning as the other two outside of Doug quickly become affected and fall into these weird dreams/visions and do not know what is reality? Independent film fans this is a flick worth checking out just for the mere reason this isn’t the usual Polonia Brothers film we have grown up with and loved. This feature really feels like they went out of their safe bubble and try something different and I believe they may have accomplished something weird and interesting as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Psycho Goreman (On Demand) – So the guy that gave us: The Void, Leprechaun Returns, and Manborg has decided there isn’t enough 90s nostalgia… Two kids Mimi and Luke are playing the game they made up and the loser (Luke in this case) must dig his own grave. While digging in the backyard they find this mysterious rock and believe when in bed that night monsters may come to get them for finding it. They were not far from the truth as they actually unleashed an intergalactic evil being that loves murder and mayhem. But because Mimi now holds the gem they control this being and give him the name “Psycho Goreman”. Mimi of course uses the control for stupid stuff to amuse herself but it also involves their parents as Psycho Goreman is sort of part of the family now. Or just obey every command Mimi gives him. There is a price to pay having this power and possibly even more evil beings called the Templars send something to earth to destroy Psycho Goreman. It now becomes a war between the kids and their pet monster with this Templar creation, who will survive? I loved the rubber monster effects as they look like they were straight out of an episode of the ‘Power Rangers’ TV show. The movie is a lot of fun as I feel this film will be the rubber stamp horror flick for the 90s nostalgia crowd as the 80s nostalgia might be dying out. I did think the ‘Goosebumps’ films were gonna start the 90s nostalgia craze but it faded out but I highly believe this is the jump start the genre needed as I give this film 3 stars.
Hand of Death (DVD) – An early 60s B-monster flick about a scientist that may have come up with the latest formula for nerve gas. While Alex tries to perfect the gas he gets it upon him causing a slow transformation of his body but also gives him the “death touch”. Whoever he touches or person touches him they die of a quick death. With no cure in sight Alex begins to go insane until the authorities track him down and rid him of this life as I give the film 2 stars.
The Case of the Bloody Iris (DVD) – Trying out another giallo which in this 1972 film an unknown killer is killing beautiful women who live in the same apartment building. Of course the landlord is to blame as he is almost at every scene of the murder but with giallos we all know he is not the killer. I liked some of the lead up to the killer but the film seems to lose steam after halfway through as I give it 2 stars. Need a laugh pay attention to the photographer in the film as he reminds me of the old cartoon character “Snagglepuss”, stage left…? (I know I’m old)
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