Tag Archives: Dan Komarek

Gross Movie Reviews #645

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Alien: Romulus (Theater) – So this installment takes place about twenty years after the original Nostromo blowing up and a space research mission picks up the remains of the explosion. Now floating unmanned in space and about to crash into the rings of a terraformed planet with no sunlight some young folks get an idea of escaping the life term of dangerous work of going to salvage the cryotubes from the dead space station. They fly up and connect with the dead craft to explore and be in and out but it all goes wrong when they have to go hit the research lab? This is where the story literally tries to incorporate every ‘Alien’ film ever made in one way or another… Now saying that what is funny this might be the first entry you may not need to watch the others to understand what is going on? The film gives us a bit of everything including the dreaded Ripley Scott’s vision of Prometheus which is for a different conversation but doesn’t belong to this? Bottom line fans of this franchise there should be an entry every 16 to 18 months like the ‘Puppet Master’ series. Problem is Ridley Scott needs to let go or do we all forget he claimed “to be done with the series in the 80s” until 20th Century Fox came calling with their check book and wanting a sequel to ‘Blade Runner’? Or do all yinz horror fans forget that shit? Another conversation for another time (GIMME NEIL Bolmkamp’s vision of the real “Alien 3”), sorry this movie opens that door for me to bitch! Anyhow don’t pay too much attention to the Prometheus shit as this movie was good but not great but worthy of rewatching several times because they got it right! I give it 3 stars now please give me a series of films with the Colonial Marines and yes my photo is on a recent Aliens comic… Go check I am not lying!

Zombies Invade Pittsburg (Vimeo) – This movie is so rare it took someone (Ninja Master Dan Komarek) digging  around archive.org and someone who posted this once watched Public TV movie posted on Vimeo to make me aware and for me explain to both parties this is most likely a Florida film? Long story kids… From Jess Turner productions and released in 1996 but actually made in 1988 after much research by me it is not a Pittsburgh, Pa., zombie flick. First, yinz forget the “H” n’at at the end of Pittsburgh, Pa., which is a dead giveaway along with the palm trees but let’s move on. A barrel of unknown goo is leaking into the waterways and the police are baffled of how it got there or what it could be? After a few phone calls and long scenes of the sheriff talking to people making himself look important he finds out it’s entirely the government’s fault that cleans it up quickly. But for the love of Rutger Hauer it is too late as the goo has leeched into the waterways and cemeteries and the dead are rising. The film has some blood but most of the film is shot too dark for a lot of the zombie scenes, along with no real ending after 88 minutes but still fun for weird nostalgia reasons as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Rejected (YouTube) – This short film from Rene Riva Productions is an interesting one as they made an anthology into 15 minutes with a ‘VHS’ vibe. It is late November 1997 at the Sonu Studios and a couple of TV hosts are showing the rejected ads for the new Sonu digital camera that takes floppy disk. The characters in these ads that use the new advanced camera face certain death! Plain and simple this is 15 minutes of horror awesomeness done right as I give this short film project 4 out of 4 stars.

Killer Campout II (DVD) – Brad Twigg and folks head back to the woods a few years later for this sequel to give Indy horror fans a supernatural slasher. It is 1990 and Camp Phoenix has reopened for an open minded camp counselor guru who wants troubled teenagers to find themselves while camping at Camp Phoenix. But three dysfunctional misfits decide it’s a good idea to dig up the corpse of a serial killer, Blackwell, to perform a satanic ritual and of course that won’t go bad? Once raised from the grave the evil force known as Blackwell wastes no time to slaughter all in his woods! A very solid Indy cast that seems to fit their roles and are not just throw-ins, a good amount of gore, and some awkward sex scenes to satisfy the slasher formula for viewers. But if I was to point out something I would love to see this edited down to about 78 minutes instead of its 93 minute running time as a few scenes linger a little too long at times but still gotta give this sequel 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Babezilla vs. The Cyber Skanks: Rise of the Mecha Babezilla (DVD) – Please check your brain at the door before watching as Hojbob Productions wants to make sure you are in for a roller coaster ride of sleaze! The latest from filmmaker Andrew J. Chambers where you know exactly what you are in for immediately as the movie opens with a hilarious disclaimer. The main plot of this sleaze is creepy corporate types wanna turn beautiful young ladies into robotic skanks to fight their nemesis “Babezilla”. They are tired of her kicking their ass with her laser shooting titties! So when Babezilla isn’t fighting zombies or doing terrible porn she likes to do meet and greets to meet her fans. There is where the Cyber Skanks try to tackle the superhero for good but fail only to have Babezilla track them down to their evil lair. If you like sleaze, great casting of Indy stars (Jessa Flux, Kelsey Livengood, Clint Beaver, and Ginger Lynn), bad taste, and a kung fu master (?) known as Master Beta? Then yinz are in for a gringe worthy treat in another adventure of Babezilla as I give this hilarious project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Die, Daisy, Die! (DVD) – Mark Mackner returns to a long running character of his creation named Daisy Derkins (four features and a short film). After the much loved superhero Daisy defeats a lizard person she wants to settle down a bit and open a comic book shop. But hey let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves as Daisy understands there is no guarantee running a business and takes up a second job with the new shady dating app everyone is using in town called “DateGo”. The app is all the rage but it is all to help financials of the humanoid lizards and their attempts to stop the great Daisy Derkins and her amazing superhero antics. The humanoid lizards come up with a convoluted plan to go back in time with another villain “The Dawn Avenger” to not kill Daisy but to rewrite history for they won’t have to lose to her again in their fight to take over the world. Meanwhile Daisy is just worried what it is like to be interviewed on Public Access TV for her grand opening of her new comic book shop. This is like some weird alternate universe Troma film from the late 90s but hey look at that Lloyd Kaufman shows up to play himself and throw off the weird timeline of a serial killer returning to the present with the lizard creatures and Daisy as she must stop them all. Did you understand all that because I am still trying too as I give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #616

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The Devil’s Ground (DVD) – The latest from the independent filmmaker Dan Komarek that is a found footage film of sorts that was believed to be lost forever in the Video Nasty Productions warehouse. But recently by accident Dan came across a flash drive he thought was completely erased years ago and was broken?  To the best of his ability he has brought this decades old footage to life again to see this rather haunting 29 minute short film of a man trying to finish a manuscript in his home. But the man hears things and possibly sees things leading him to believe someone or something mysterious is in the home as the man leaves his computer to investigate. Fans of Mr. Komarek will enjoy this no budget effort that is rough around the edges as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Swamp Woman (DVD) – Sean Donohue and Gatorblade Films go in a different direction than the usual with this parody of a monster film of sorts? He made a no budget parody of ‘Swamp Thing’?  Anyhow kids it all starts in 1983 where our beaches are being polluted by toxic waste from Biotech Prime but now in present day they are still doing it but quieter. We are introduced to a scientist Angela Honeydew who is going to change the world with her genesplicing formula but it’s stolen from her when another scientist (evil of course) Dr. Olsen sends his thugs after her. A battle ensues between thugs and Dr. Honeydew as she gets covered in her own formula and runs naked for the swamp only to come back out later as a changed person/thing. Now the new monstrous Dr. Honeydew wants revenge and seeks those who stole her formula. This hilarious over the top ‘Swamp Thing’ parody has everything! Sean Donohue playing the most monotone doctor on purpose that almost had tears of laughter coming out of me, Joel D. Wynkoop pretty much stealing the movie with his performance that felt like Mark Hamil’s version of the Joker being a scientist, and most of all kudos to Sushii Xhyvette Holder for wearing full body make up and running through the swamp fully nude as Swamp Woman. Now I don’t know if Mr. Donohue was trying for a parody here but I will say this “it was one of his best films to date” from Gatorblade Films as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. P.S…. Donohue did make sure there was a shower scene for yinz!  

Wolf Hollow (Blu-ray) – Mark Cantu and friends attempted what usually fails in independent cinema… a werewolf film. This story takes place in small town America ‘Wolf Hollow’ or not too far from where I reside. A year after an incident that was a complete bloodbath that the town would like to keep quiet as a familiar face with filmmaker friends returns home to use his family property that has a scare house on it he would like to use for filming. But Ray and Bart still haven’t worked out their differences even though they are family and werewolves. Add in small town politics not for the better, small town secrets, and werewolves just not into being pushed around and we have a fun howling at the moon monster movie with heart and great costumes. What adds to this low budget production is some star power in Felissa Rose, Lynn Lowry, and Hannah Fierman given the right character roles to help this film get the right kind of notice. If you have read my reviews in the past you know I can be rough on Indy werewolf films but I am glad I can say with confidence this is the best Indy werewolf flick I have seen since Todd Sheets’ “Bonehill Road” as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Tale of the Bone Collector (DVD) – More short film stuff from MMH Productions where a young cub scout or a scout for some of yinz that don’t know what that is tells his little sister a story about a monster that eats kids in tents. Problem is his story comes to life and gives the viewer a fun bone crunching ending as I give this short 3 out of 4 stars.

Bugged Out (DVD) – A somewhat trippy short film from MMH Productions that some might see as a page out of a David Lynch script as a weird man collects bugs. One night this man goes to sleep only to awake to some rather large bugs pay him a visit in his bedroom and nothing good can come of that as I give this one 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Drugula (DVD) – I would like to say this might have been the worst short film out of the bunch from MMH Productions I watched but it had me laughing. The story consists of a vampire selling drugs to humans then has them ingest them to become part of his ever growing vampire army. You got me to laughso I got give this one 2 out of 4 stars.

The Yellow Car (DVD) – MMH Productions gets an ‘A’ for effort on this one for doing a killer car short film on no budget as a bright yellow Camaro gets back at its owner for mistreatment of it. This short film may have showed off the talent of MMH Productions more than you think if pay attention a little closer as I give this one 3 out of 4 stars.

Spirits (DVD) – A short film where a man who doesn’t believe in the paranormal is visited by spirits. In my opinion this may have been the worst of the bunch from MMH Productions as this felt to me at least there was no real beginning or end as I give this 1 out of 4 stars.

Rats (DVD) – A short film where a man is terrorized by a large fake rat is able to accomplish his mission of getting rid of the foul thing. As two years go by a zombie version of the fake rat returns to exact revenge on the man in this little project from MMH Productions as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Benny (DVD) – This short film maybe a little uncomfortable for some viewers as MMH Productions tells a story of a sleazy dude who has a sick habit of enjoying his pet dogs in more ways than one and gets a new dog on a regular basis as I give this project 2 out of 4 stars.

All Nighter (DVD) – A rather rough short film that I felt could have used a little more touching up and footage of two friends watching TV all night that are visited by an unwanted evil visitor. Again this short film has potential if MMH Productions would have spent a little more time processing what they were actually going for as I give this 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Attack of the Killer Chickens: The Movie (DVD) – If you crazy horror fans enjoyed ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ and ‘Attack of the Killer Donuts’ and you enjoyed the independent out this world spirit of ‘Llamageddon’ then yinz are gonna love this nutzoid mess of Space Chickens! I believe this was first released in 2015 then rereleased in 2022 is from the talented mind of Genoveva Rossi who directs, produces, writes, and stars in this masterpiece of horror comedy. The movie starts quick and does not let off the gas pedal as Killer Space Chickens have arrived to enslave all of mankind. From there like I said no letting off the gas pedal as we get a bad parody scene from ‘The Warriors’, chicken and human sex, a vegan bounty hunter, cowboy chicken fighting in a bar, chickens playing poker, more chicken and human sex, and some cameos to boot. To top all of this complete hilarity there is an ending that will have you laughing in an comfortable manner as I give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Mindbender (DVD) – A rather heavy short film from newer filmmaker (to me at least) in Jason Burke about a father who is a doctor who was let go from his practice after 30 years as he was the scapegoat for a patient being lost. What doesn’t help the situation is this father is taking care of his terminally ill grown daughter. But dear old dad has a secret as his patients fully trust him and his methods in this effective, depressing short film that will make you think once viewed as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

The Limbo Café (DVD) – Another professionally shot independent short film from Jason Burke that has a young woman stopping at a coffee shop on a rainy night. As she greeted by the hostess the two get talking and this rain soaked young lady explains how she is looking for a fresh start. But the more time spent at the coffee shop the young woman Atria becomes a little uneasy of the place as she experiences things. But it is too late before Atria understand this café isn’t some mysterious out of the way place. Intentional or not this gave me a fun feeling of watching those episodes of HBO’s ‘The Hitchhiker’ a few decades back as a kid and for that I gotta give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Grave Encounters (DVD) – This Jason Burke simple short film has an abundance of substance to it that you will pick up on in the end as a couple strolling through a graveyard and reminiscing about their past two years together. This could be seen as depressing but I feel other independent filmmakers might it inspiring as again there is a lot of substance to this one as I give 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Shackles (DVD) – A Jason Burke film that has no dialogue but uses music and the actors’ actions to tell the story as a man wakes everyday only to be haunted by a beautiful lady whose simple presence is just defeating to the main character. He hopes every time he wakes not to see her but finally gets the courage to push by, smile, and go out his front door. This is some of the best story telling film wise I have seen since: The Misled Romance of Cannibal Girl and Incest Boy and Hexercise as I give this inspiring tale 4 out of 4 stars.

Meg 2: The Trench (On Demand) – Jason Statham returns, big freakin ancient sharks return, terrible CGI returns, and this film has it all including a much better storyline than the original as Jason Statham and friends must again stop giant ancient sharks from eating all the humans as I give the sequel 3 stars. Yeah I am weird as I enjoyed this film more than the original!

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #603

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The Zombie Army (Blu-ray) – This shiny SOV turd was directed by Betty Stapleford and was considered legendary at my favorite video store “ISV”. We literally had a running bet on who would actually rent this film as it had a label on it “Worst Movie in the Store”, yet no one would rent it except us dumb asses who watched it a couple times in the store over 20 years ago. Well movie nerds apparently ‘Future Video’ thought it was time to bring it to HD! So how to explain the clarity… Okay imagine if you are old… like me, and you are watching a movie on the old black and white TV set with rabbit ears? That was the VHS version. Now imagine if that VHS was dying and played on your new 60 inch thin ROKU TV thingy and you know that was an upgrade. Anyhow besides this wonderful clarity there are some trailers, different music, and footage of a writer/producer talking about their experience in getting the movie made. So the government has bought an insane asylum because you know that is a wonderful idea. After a couple dumb military personnel open a radioactive shelter door looking for drugs this of course allows two psychos to be released and wander the halls again. These psychos are not your ordinary psychos as they want to experiment on the military privates and turn them into their zombies. It was released in 1991 and some fun effects to enjoy as I give this Blu-ray 3 stars.

African Kung Fu Nazis (DVD) – So this falls under “what in the bizarre hell am I watching?” as Hitler survives for no apparent reason with the leader of Japan. Again not exactly explained but these two make a tag team who find themselves in Guyana (I think) who begin to build their German/Japanese army out of the native African folk that live there. Hitler helps train these folk for a world tournament that they are going to put on. Oh did I mention if you are black and touch the new German/Japanese flag you go ‘white face’! So of course once they build a force they bother the local dojo to pay tribute to them and force setting up a revenge story in this racist mix of “Bloodsport”, “Fist of Fury”, and “Mortal Kombat” where you won’t know if you should laugh, cry, or both when it is done as I give this film 3 stars.

Legion of the Night (YouTube) – An independent film from Matt Jaissle that is also known as “Dead City” gives off wonderful “The Dead Next Door” vibes so you know you are in for a treat. Out of Detroit a couple of scientists are forced by some mob boss Francis to come up with zombie assassins. Not exactly expecting the research to pan out as well as it did they were able to give Francis the ultimate crew to do his bidding. Of course the scientists are considered expendable and thought to be completely killed off by some of the underlings? But assistant Russell survives and explains to Taylor who is back in town wondering what happen to his father. The two plot a tale of revenge with the new CZAs (Cybernetic Zombie Assassins) to seek revenge against Francis. All seems to go to plan until Francis has also partake in the forbidden formula and combat just got a lot more interesting. Love the premise of the film, love the look even for 1995, love the vibe, some great effects, the only flaw might be the story gets a little confusing or overcomplicated but if you are an Indy fan you need to have this in your collection as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Green Hell: A Jay Crimson Film (YouTube/Troma Now) – The film opens with filmmaker Jay Crimson where this content comes from and why? But you get two sketchy looking friends who accidentally find a liquid in a cough syrup bottle dropped by a random individual. Trying to get all kinds of fucked up believe it would be a great idea to drink it? Not much time passes before they begin to trip balls, see zombies, party again, more zombie gut munching, more weird visions, get quickly addicted to it, then kill a friend’s girlfriend. It is a lewd, crude, quick take, rough style kind of filmmaking style that was featured in other independent titles “The Wet Ones” and “Magnum Opus” to name two. I know there is a small niche audience for this project I just don’t think I am it… I more of a “Street Team Massacre” movie weirdo as I give this film 2 out of 4 stars.

After Presence (DVD) – A found footage flick of a Ghost Hunting dude who disappeared in 2017 while filming with his partner their latest special at a cemetery. Jamie Rice and Pat Donovan are all about getting content for their fans. The two separate for investigation purposes during filming and Pat slowly gets very deep into something that could be considered disturbing. Pat ignores the possible warning signs and weird shit going around him until it is too late. Everyone knows I am not a huge paranormal movie fan but kudos to these guys as they kept it basic, had a complete serious tone throughout, and had a good storyline they stray from as I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Alphabet Soup (DVD) – Another project from Broaden Torture Productions as this is more of a mish mash of four short films that feel like experiments, never fully fleshed out projects, or something they tried and will possibly remake in the future when the funds dictate. Creature from the Deep is a cheeseball corny short that I enjoyed the most. A great combo DVD or perfect starter thing for an independent movie fan who may want to check out more from these guys as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

To Love Again (Blu-ray) – Another feature out of the long lost collection of filmmaker Dan Komarek that was shot in 2008 and a far departure from horror, fantasy, and kids believing they are some kind of Ninja Masters. Two unlikely friends in Zack and Sarah who are all about the drugs strangely find love for each other as they try to figure out their lives together. Happiness is short lived when Sarah’s live-in boyfriend/roommate Tony decides this needs to stop and the two accidentally kill Tony. Again a huge departure from what you would use to seeing from this filmmaker but it does have its kinks and corks for such a serious tone film like the weird fake box waterbed (I cannot get my mind around it, sorry) and the barking dog at all times in the background of filming this love story. Dan shows a different side of his talent here and well worth the watch I just don’t think this will resonate with Indy fans as much as his other work as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Video Nasty Productions: The Early Years Volume II (Blu-ray) – This time around it isn’t just some early unfinished projects from Dan Komarek but his brother Mike Komarek and it is clear who is doing what project! But before you sink your eyeballs into nearly three hours of short films Dan supplies you with twenty minutes of trailers and an interview with me Tim Gross talking about Dan Komarek and his career so far. The shorts: The Cleveland Haunting is where a young man is haunted by himself and controlled by another. Crime Story (2008) is about two dudes arguing over money. Then Crime Story (2012) completely unrelated to the other four years before but has the random barking dog returning, incoherent dialogue, machine gun sound effects for a pistol, a crochet clock hanging on a wall instead of a real clock, a hallway of a home that I think is supposed to be an office, and it has no ending… Which I was entertained by this absurdity! Into the Mystic which is more feature length than short film features a random dude in girl jeans stalking individuals in a national park where a fat young version of Dan Komarek eats cigarettes off the ground and still believes he knows kung fu! Nail Biter is a short that will possibly make you puke after the three minutes of shaky-cam and goes into a story of a newspaper reporter going back to an abandoned home to investigate murders and the legend that happened several years before. (This short film was done by Mike Komarek and the biggest example of the filming differences between the brothers.) The Entity is a short film with a Blair Witch feel as a lonely man goes slowly insane. (Nevermind the odd Nazi flag in the background as not sure why it’s there but it has nothing to do with the story?) The Road is a short where something strange happens to two best friends as soft music plays at all times. And Disinformation is a quick found footage thing that felt much unfinished. Another look into the young mind of Dan Komarek that is very entertaining and fun if you enjoy checking out stuff from independent filmmakers before they got the legs under in what they want to do as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.  

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Video Nasty Productions The Early Years Vol. II

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Well it’s official. Coming next Friday, exclusively at Cinema Wasteland is Video Nasty Productions: The Early Years Volume 2. This Blu-ray is packed with 3 hours of short films from Video Nasty Productions. This set also includes an introduction and in-depth conversation from filmmaker Tim Gross

Gross Movie Reviews #585

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Werewolf by Night (Disney Plus) – First I believe this caught some horror fans by surprise this was made and taken seriously. Based on some comics this film takes a stylish approach of making it look old school which worked out well in my opinion from the actors to the werewolf itself. But the center of the film is the “Master of the Bloodstone” has died and there is a gathering of monster hunters to have a chance to lay claim to this stone which pretty much means royalty. Out of this group of death dealers if they survive and slay the creature that is in the maze they can lay claim to the stone but not all are who or what they seem as there is a werewolf among them. Who is the hero, who is the villain? It’s a fun quick 50 something minute movie that was a lot of fun for me to watch as I give it 3 stars.

The Curse of Bridge Hollow (Netflix) – So who would of guessed I would be watching a Marlon Wayans family Halloween film? None of you… Me neither but I took a chance and it paid off as Marlon, wife and teenage daughter move from Brooklyn to the safest small town in the U.S. only to find out they take their Halloween very seriously. The family moves to the old Hawthorne house where apparently a urban legend was born a hundred years ago. The daughter of course investigating the attic happens to stumble upon an old pumpkin or turnip lantern for technical terms and lights it. This causes a series of events that lets evil into the world forever but first it must take over everyone’s Halloween decorations. Now it’s up to the satanic collecting principal, the daughter’s new paranormal club friends, and Marlon to stop the evil before Halloween is over. Its PG-13, it is actually funny, and reminds me of “Goosebumps” so I got give it 3 stars.

Accident Man (DVD) – Scott Adkins 2018 film and possibly one his best to date that has Scott playing a hitman named Mike Fallon who makes his hits look like an accident. Things are good for Mike as he is paid well to make things look like an accident until he gets a call about his ex-girlfriend has died but things don’t add up as Mike finds out a few details. Mike quickly looks into the death and finds not only was a hit put out on her but she was pregnant with his child. Blaming himself Mike wants answers but his teacher Ray Stevenson has always said “Don’t get involved”. Mike breaks this rule immediately and after several bad ass fight scenes finds out he has been set up and her hit was ordered by his boss Milton! This not your average hitman action flick and I dare you to watch and not say this isn’t possibly one of the best Adkins starring flicks out there as I give it 4 stars.

Accident Man: Hitman’s Holiday (On Demand) – Mike Fallon is back, kind of as he has been lying low in another country for the past four years until he bumps into one of his old buddies from the firm Fred. Fred is in pursuit of his girlfriend he met online (you need to see the first film to understand the backstory of Fred). Anyhow the two become quick friends again and start up as a hitman duo and trying new techniques. After saying no to doing a hit on a mob boss’s son they are kidnapped and forced to now protect this poor soul as assassins from around the world want in on the hit that pays over 7 million dollars US! Again lots of fun, brings back a couple characters from the first film, flips the tables now for Fallon to be a bodyguard, awesome fight scenes but slips a little in the magic that was captured the first time around but still well worth the watch as I give it 3 stars.

Spookie Dookie (Blu-ray) – The talented Brian Papandrea (or the last name I cannot pronounce) and the Rock Bottom Video crew are back to give us independent film fans a trashy Halloween film that is missing from our lives. So we get a terrible Gatekeeper who dances around the cemetery to find passersby to tell scary tales too when he isn’t jerking off on them.  The trashy shorts all interconnect with old Halloween promos, commercials, Halloween news clips, and Dracula needing to see a doctor because he has AIDS! It feels like something Troma would have done in the 90s but only better as these kind folks make sure if you are looking for trash they have it for you as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Honestly the back cover of this Blu-ray if you have a chance to read will make you buy it on the spot!

Grand Samurai: A Warrior’s End (Extended Cut – Blu-ray) – So I felt it was time to sit down and watch Dan Komarek’s epic five hour film. Yes folks, “The Ninja Master” weren’t enough abuse knowing I would watch this bullshit this talented jagoff Mr. Komarek released this fucking shit! Anyhow I thought like most reviews I would try to give you the basics but not this epic film I thought I needed to share my notes as written when watching this thing last Sunday morning that led into my afternoon. Dan decided there needed to be a movie with more walking than ‘Lord of the Rings’ ever could film so eat your heart out Peter Jackson. Back to the film as it opens up very promising with this huge ‘Conan-esque’ beginning talking about a thousand years ago and now… then immediately let down with two dudes showing up on screen whatever their parents allowed them to wear that autumn weekend to shoot? You expect costumes, swords, huge swords… Nope, Dan laughs in the face of being reasonable. We get a little backstory between Paul and Lee which Paul has to train to become a samurai. Which first question that will hit your mind “Yinz know yinz are white more out of shape than I am?” But hey kids let’s not a bad idea get in the way of making a bad film as they begin to walk, then walk a little more, then walk a little more only to decide they will go on journeys for a sword and a tournament that isn’t really clarified but then walk some more. This is where Paul (yes there will be a samurai named… Paul) goes on his four or so hour journey movie time of training. If there isn’t endless narration be the Lee character aka Dan Komarek where he clearly had a tummy tuck at some point between filming there is more walking and what I feel was an hour of “In Memoriam” segment for someone I don’t know? But then it got real interesting when ‘real time filming’ by Dan Komarek happens as he films himself basically taking a spill into a raging river when misjudging some rocks to cross it just to do a random sword fight scene oh excuse me a stick fight! At one point during the first hour or two of walking it seems like the camera isn’t filming as much as stalking the Paul character who by the way is still training and looking for his friend Lee. Then when Paul cannot go any further he drops to the forest ground to start humping the ground which I read into the subtext of ‘humans raping the world’ but that can be debated another time. But hey did I mention there is a book on how to be a samurai that is introduced into the film an hour in as when approaching the 75 minute mark we get the ‘final fight’. Why do I know this? The characters only announced this several times as they try and I mean try to somersault their way off of picnic benches. But just shortly after if not paying attention we do gets bootleg Richard Moll from “Sword and the Sorcerer” sending Paul yet on another quest for a sword. So about 88 minutes they are informed this sword they are on a journey for is a sword for a tournament to end all tournaments and we haven’t even gotten to the first one. If you need a laugh the scene ends with the neighbor’s dog attacking someone off screen in the background. So as they keep walking again the two find a village where they sleep for a month (don’t ask) again this leaves the Paul character alone as he mourns for his heterosexual life mate Lee. Then there is more walking… inner monologue… more walking… Paul walks through all four seasons through the same patch of woods. Then 129 minutes in Paul gets fucked up on a snowy tree stump and instead of Dan putting down the camera he still films Paul now limping instead of walking, clearly injured… (but, it’s for the art man!)  Literally that was the point I waiting for the Benny Hill music to start as it followed a limping Paul through the snow. After more walking about the 145 minute mark we get to hear Dan Komarek directing the movie while doing a couple lines of dialogue in the mouth of a cave or I like to think a sewer pipe? With more walking comes more training and at the 165 minute mark I begin to wonder if the journey isn’t for a sword but for the two come to grips with their love for each other? I come to this conclusion as the two come to a beach in their long journey and gazing at each other while plotting on them doing more walking through the woods. Which shortly after this the filmmaker has the balls of putting an intermission in, DUDE, how about ending this fucking movie already! After regretting that there was an intermission our heroes at the 170 minute mark are back from their love fest at the beach and most likely smoking weed only to walk more. They keep saying they must finish the journey so of course there is more walking this when I notice and have come up with a drinking game those three people like me who crazy enough to watch this film to completion. Now for yinz three paying attention: every time Paul has his ninja suit on or putting it back on, drink a beer for every different shirt you see the Paul character wearing underneath? You will be drunk and that is better than watching this film again, again anyway, nine minutes I am completely convinced the film has nothing to do with samurais but two young dudes taking the long way around of just saying they love each other but just cannot find the courage to say it. At the 191 minute mark after walking more Paul lays on the ground and looks to the night sky accepting he will only be complete with his life partner Lee who has disappeared again. Finally about the 215 minute mark we finally are getting to the climax of the film as a horrible unfinished fight scene happens as minutes later Paul loses Lee as he was killed by a Chevy Corsica fender they randomly found in the creek they ran across. More walking happens and at the 248 minute mark is when Paul and Lee (who has died twice, I think) are reunited and receives the sword which the fuckers never get to be in a tournament! And what is this fucking Dan Komarek ends this fucking “EPIC” with a ‘to be continued’… WTF dude! Dan I love you brother, I think you are a fine editor and cinematographer but stop digging this absurd bullshit up and make something new. You have the talent to do it so give me a break as this epic is epic I cannot even give it a rating as much dare someone to watch it all the way through like I did so I am not the only psycho.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Mini-Grossfest is one week away!

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One week away… Early weather forecast (High 63, in the morning 48 with sun and a slight chance of showers in afternoon).  Dress accordingly my friends!

We wanna thank the Willow Station Restaurant and Bar in Castle Shannon, Pa. for helping us to have our first outdoor event. Second, we wanna thank all the vendors that are going to be a part of the event. Third and most important “The EVENT IS FREE” to attendees, the public, whatever you wanna call the people from around the Pittsburgh and surrounding areas that are coming to check out all the great vendors, filmmakers, authors, artists, etc., that will be there. So let your mum, your dad, yinz lovers, your partner, your neighbors’ n’at, even the people you dislike know to come visit our event. All we at Grossfest are kindly asking is for people to head into the Willow Station Restaurant at some point because hell you are already there to see all of us so go have a drink or better yet have brunch as it starts at 11am! Point is people it’s been a hard two years for all of us. This is another step in making a bigger Grossfest happen again but also we want you to have more money in your pocket to spend on the vendors, filmmakers, etc… again THE EVENT IS FREE TO GET IN! Plus the whole point of Grossfest is to introduce you to independent filmmakers, authors, artists and to have fun doing it like “conventions used to be!”

So again May 1st, 10am-3pm in the back parking lot of Willow Station Bar/Restaurant. There will be parking out in front along the street (most of the public parking side lot will be taken up by vendors)

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

Pittsburgh, PA 15234

Willow Station will be open for that day 11am – 4pm.

https://www.thewillowstation.com/ or www.facebook.com/3841WillowStation

Any questions email Tom or Tim Gross or email grossfest@gmail.com about the event.

(Note: For anyone that buys a “beer or adult beverage” please hang on the patio with us until finished)

NOW FOR OUR LIST OF VENDORS

Maddie Deering – NekroShark Films (rumors that Spirit Animal star Tom Gross will be there to sign autographs with the talented filmmaker Maddie)

Melanie Stone – Dark White Arts

Lunija Gjoni – Plastinated Heart Art

Jess Weary – Celebrations of Spirits

David Milchick – Shoggoth Suds

Kayleigh Crawford and Dan Komarek – Video Nasty Productions

House of Horror

Scott Baucan

Christian Bareford – local film festival (filmmakers you may want to talk to these people?)

Minerva’s Trinkets

Angel O’Connor and Steve McBride – artist, tattoo artist, make-up effects expert, and all around cool persons

Brillobox – Luther Ickes – filmmaker (made a Pittsburgh Bigfoot movie), bar owner of a cool hot spot that just reopened

Darcy and Keith Munden – Legacy Verse Productions

David Fairhead – Fairly Dark Productions

Daniel Boyd and Tim Gross – Drunken Yinzers Productions

And of course the guests: the people, the myth, the legends, the Grossfest lifetime achievement award winners, the most talented Pittsburgh independent film duo you can meet David and Diana Silvio of Kiss of Death Productions!

Proud moment to give these guys an award!

So hope to see yinz at the Willow Stations n’at on Sunday May 1st, so come on dahn to visit n’at!

Mini-Grossfest Update and our list of vendors…

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First, I wanna thank the Willow Station Restaurant and Bar in Castle Shannon, Pa. for helping to have our first outdoor event and we have sold out. Second, wanna thank all the vendors that are going to be a part of the event. (There will be a list of vendors posted soon.) Sorry we had to turn a few away but like we said from the beginning it was limited space, first come, first served. Third and most important because I have already fielded a couple questions from a couple people concerning about this? The EVENT IS FREE to attendees, the public, whatever you wanna call the people from around the Pittsburgh area coming to check out all the great vendors that will be there. So let your mum, your dad, your lovers, your partner, your neighbors, even the people you dislike know to come visit our event. All we at Grossfest are kindly asking is for people to head into the Willow Station at some point because hell you are already there to see all of us to go have a drink or have brunch as it starts at 11am! Point is people it’s been a hard two years for all of us. This is another step in making a bigger Grossfest happen again but also we want you to have more money in your pocket to spend on the vendors… again THE EVENT IS FREE TO GET IN! Plus the whole point of Grossfest is to introduce you to independent filmmakers, authors, artists and to have fun doing it like conventions used to be!

So again May 1st, 10am-3pm in the back parking lot of Willow Station Bar/Restaurant. There will be parking out in front along the street (most of the public parking side lot will be taken up by vendors)

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

 Pittsburgh, PA 15234

Willow Station will be open for that day 11am – 4pm.

https://www.thewillowstation.com/ or www.facebook.com/3841WillowStation

Any questions email Tom or Tim Gross or email grossfest@gmail.com about the event.

NOW FOR OUR LIST OF VENDORS

Maddie Deering – NekroShark Films (rumors that Spirit Animal star Tom Gross will be there to sign autographs with the talented filmmaker Maddie)

Melanie Stone – Dark White Arts

Lunija Gjoni – Plastinated Heart Art   

Jess Weary – Celebrations of Spirits

David Milchick – Shoggoth Suds

Kayleigh Crawford and Dan Komarek – Video Nasty Productions

House of Horror

Scott Baucan

Christian Bareford – local film festival (filmmakers you may want to talk to these people?)

Minerva’s Trinkets

Angel O’Connor and Steve McBride – artist, tattoo artist, make-up effects expert, and all around cool persons

Brillobox – Luther Ickes – filmmaker (made a Pittsburgh Bigfoot movie), bar owner of a cool hot spot that just reopened

Darcy and Keith Munden – Legacy Verse Productions

David Fairhead – Fairly Dark Productions

Daniel Boyd and Tim Gross – Drunken Yinzers Productions

And of course the guests: the people, the myth, the legends, the Grossfest lifetime achievement award winners, the most talented Pittsburgh independent film duo you can meet David and Diana Silvio of Kiss of Death Productions!

So hope to see yinz n’at on Sunday May 1st, so come on dahn to visit!

Gross Movie Reviews #550

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Gross Movie Reviews #550

Bloodmatch (DVD) – Found another fun Albert Pyun film that stars Thom Matthews as Brick Bardo, a kickboxer hell bent on seeking revenge for his brother who got screwed over five years ago. Wait a minute… Brick Bardo? I thought that was Tim Thomerson’s name in ‘Dollman’ that was released in 1991 the same year as this flick…? Holy shit mind blown this could have been a wonderful delight of a film if a 12 inch cop was kickboxing his way through a futuristic world! Anyway Thom’s Brick character tracks down four people who screwed over his brother in order to have a fight with each to the death. To make things even more interesting during these death matches Brick’s hot girlfriend can also fight and helps the process along, give the film 2 stars, mind blown that Dollman could have been in here in some weird parallel universe I give that 4 stars all the way.

Wired to Kill (DVD) – A little known post-apocalyptic film from the mid-80s that did little at the box office that is set in the year 1998. Quarantine zones still exist six years after the plague purged humanity but humans survived with a cure (sounds familiar, like now) but there is some factions of humans that do not want to go back to what’s considered normal. So we get introduced to Rebecca and Steve, a young couple who are just enjoying their lives together and it’s ruined by some marauding dirt bags. These dirt bags are all about destroying the new way of life after the cure and have crippled Steve and threaten his family. Steve and Rebecca because of this attack declare war and slowly plot out shit like MacGyver to fuck with this dirt bag gang. As they move through the gang their plans get bigger and bigger like a low budget A-Team that makes this feature well worth tracking down to enjoy as I give it 3 stars. If that isn’t enough how about this flick was called ‘Booby Trap’ outside of the U.S.

Burial Ground Massacre (DVD) – This ungodly piece of trash and I am being nice as I sat through all 100 minute running time. After the viewer is introduce to a killer voiced by Michael Madsen who is seeking revenge for Native Americans you are introduced to a small gathering of young people at Liberty Manor. It is a museum of sorts taken care of by Chase’s family who don’t really care if the land was built on a Native American burial ground and there might be ghosts haunting the woods surrounding it. Chase is convinced it would be cool to have the party there so the guests could go mishandle the artifacts and talk about the Indian legend. This of course sets up each one dying because of the burial ground thing but the real issue is the movie would like you to believe this is being done by Michael Madsen an aging actor that has lived life hard? Pay attention at the end of the movie as the killer has no sleeves then he does and looks like he put on a hundred pounds just so Michael Madsen could say a few lines in person on camera. Besides the whole weird Michael Madsen thing the film comes off very cobbled together as the characters have no chemistry and how the legend is set up seems lazy at best as I give it 0 stars.

Prisoners of the Ghostland (On Demand) – This crazy ass film should come to you as no surprise as Nic Cage stars as a convict who is given a task ‘Escape from New York’ style by the governor (Bill Moseley). Cage is to go into some weird underworld to rescue the governor’s daughter Bernice, escape this odd place, as he only has a few days to do it or his head will explode. Best way to explain is if you like Asian cinema and Nic Cage this will be for you… But if this isn’t in your wheelhouse there will be a good chance you will hate this. Either way it was all a little confusing but entertaining to me as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Beyond Dark Dreams (DVD) – So apparently independent filmmaker Joseph Russio lost this film about six years ago and only recently finished it when he found all the footage for it again. He may have lost it because this film will fuck with your mind! Russio wrote and directed this feature about a writer putting himself in an old dark house so he can get past his writer’s block… maybe? After a investigating a couple odd noises in the house that makes the writer more fascinated with the house than his writing he comes back to a needle full of green stuff? So of course the writer introduces this unknown drug into his system in hopes of inspiration or the next life. We as does the writer from here witnesses acts of cruelty, the macabre, and the truly bizarre. When it ends I believe the movie allows you to decide if it was all a dream, it really did happen to the writer, or Joseph just giving us a mindfuck of a film that really has no ending that lets you be the judge? I was super confused as it ended but was happy I got to watch this quite odd independent film that had wonderful music, production, and a story I can see people talking about even a few years from viewing it as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Slashlorette Party (DVD) – Brie is a young woman who is having lots of marriage anxieties with her soon-to-be husband Dolph. After her latest session with her therapist Brie is convinced it is time to break up with Dolph before it is too late and she is miserable. But surprise, Brie is caught off guard by her girlfriends who show up as she is writing the letter to Dolph and they are there to take Brie for a weekend of partying. Because you know the Bachelor/Bachelorette together party is all the rage among the kids these days or I should say bad idea. Either way Brie is dreading the whole event for the mere reason she is stuck with Dolph and wants it to end. But anytime you put together pretty girls, talk of sex, lots of drinking in a random cabin it won’t take long for people to die. But what makes this storytelling a little different is Brie has a past and there is a couple other subplots that drive this feature and keeps it interesting with the likes of Drew Marvick and Ginger Lynn. It all intersects for one big bloody ending as every slasher film fan will want their bloody hands on this flick as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Werewolves Within (DVD) – Beaverfield is a small mountain town that needed a new forest ranger who went missing recently and Finn Wheeler is the man for the job. Finn is transferred and is getting the lay of the land by the cute postal woman who takes him around town. Finn believing his first day after the transfer was a breeze wakes up to the small community upset by a missing dog and talk of a monster or werewolf eventually. Finn thinking it’s all a misunderstanding has just stepped into a ’30 Days of Night’ style situation but with werewolves. They all believe safety is in numbers but that does not stop the werewolf from feasting on the community all held up in the Mansion Inn. Ranger Finn now must figure out who the werewolf inside the mansion is or he will be the next meal in this murder/mystery comedy with a good amount of gore. Great characters, great build up, and potential to be watched by viewers multiple times as one of their recent favorites as I give this flick 3 ½ stars. 

Curse of the Crimson Altar (DVD) – A late 60s British horror film that is considered to be Boris Karloff’s last film appearance that has a man named Bob seeking out a well off gentleman named Morley who may have seen him last? Peter, Bob’s business partner and brother has been missing for some time and as Bob investigates he may have stumbled into witchcraft as Morley wants to be a warlock. Christopher Lee and Barbara Steele round out the cast so this horror film will always intrigue horror fans to give it at least one watch as I give it 2 stars.

Video Nasty Productions: The Early Years (DVD) – Filmmaker Dan Komarek has recently decided it was time for him to go back to his passion of making films but before he does that he wanted to give fans a treat of sorts. This is a collection of short films that Dan and his brother mostly shot on mini-DV in 2008 and 2009 before his other feature ‘Demons of the Night’. The super-packed DVD has trailers of Dan’s work but also has a new trailer for a project called ‘Drain Snake Massacre’ that he is a producer on coming from a new talented filmmaker Kay Crawford. Dan does a short introduction explaining that the short films are “rude and crude” mainly because what camera was used and how long the footage/films were just lying around. He goes in a little bit of detail of what he and his brother did and it will most likely make a few filmmakers watching this cringe! But Dan Komarek’s short film projects were: Lockjaw – two brothers resolving paranormal activity at a home, Soldiers – Two FBI agents visiting an Army vet who just got home and what he may or may not have done overseas, Connection of Pain – a botched robbery that actually becomes an event about pain, Hunting Season – a young man is weirded out by a possible hunter that seems to be stalking him, Carnal Violence – A man’s random trip through the woods becomes filled with terror, and Vektor Bourne – a 15 minute spy thriller with no budget that involves a disc with the all-important “CODES”. Dan Komarek is right they are all “rude and crude” but this DVD shows people it had to start somewhere. Plus I always liked finding early stuff such as this because it gives us viewers or fans insight to what their thinking was then and now and believe the filmmaker can gain some respect by releasing cool stuff like this? Yeah, most of it is bad but for example his short film ‘Hunting Season’ to me even then for a very young Dan Komarek showed with a little more time and editing that short had something… “Passion” and sometimes that is all what viewers are looking for when checking out independent films especially ones they never heard of the filmmaker. So if you are lucky to land your gory little Indy hands on this I hope you enjoy as I give the collection 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Drain Snake Massacre teaser trailer is out!

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Dan Komarek

I’ve been really busy working on a lot of new film projects as of lately…. Coming soon is a film I am helping produce and will be acting in called “Drain Snake Massacre” Written & Directed by Kay Crawford. Principle photography on will begin this week. The film stars Tim Gross and will be disturbed by Video Nasty Productions. Here is the official teaser:

Gross Movie Reviews #503

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Gross Movie Reviews #503

 

Something Evil (YouTube) – An early 70s TV flick that stars Darren McGavin as part of a married couple who decides to buy an old country home out in the middle of nowhere. Problem is they picked the wrong home and it has some weird paranormal things happening Possibly Satan or just some demonic being. Being city folk and not sure how to deal with it they even look into getting a priest. Sounds cool if you’re a fan of this 70s TV stuff but even the die hards got to admit there isn’t much of a payoff when it is all said and done as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

The Panther Squad (DVD) – A crazy Sybil Danning flick from the early 80s about a new organization that has been formed called N.O.O.N. They would like to conquer space as most places on the planet except for a few select islands refuse to cooperate are all for this. So a group called “Clean Space” takes over the space rocket and holds it hostage. In response the governments okay a covert operation that calls in Danning’s character and her elite woman military squad. Besides looking like extras from a Duran Duran video they help track down Clean Space and put a stop to their tactics. Hilarious B-movie stuff that gets you Sybil Danning in skin tight leather throughout the feature, looking through binoculars for at least half of the film. Not totally sure if Full Moon actually has the rights but sure glad they put it out on DVD for all of us to enjoy. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Blood Quantum (Shudder) – Another twist on the zombie genre where a Native American community begins to see weird shit: gutted fish become alive again, dogs are dying, and then a drunken dude begins biting people. Not fully explained how it started this sends an Indian reservation into lockdown fighting off hordes of the undead. Six months later and the whole apocalypse has happened. The residents of the reservation have come to find out they are immune for an unknown reason. Now they discuss it a couple times why it might be… but they still need to survive as they can still be eaten and overtaken. Fighting among each other is their downfall as they fight over whether they should allow the white man into their secure community? Good amount of gore and a twist in the zombie genre makes the film an intriguing choice. I like the film but didn’t love it but feel no matter what kind of horror fan you are it does deserve a chance as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Easter Holocaust (DVD) – An independent holiday film that tackles the Easter Bunny that is just an absolutely too fucking long of a movie. EDITING IS NOT A BAD THING KIDS!!! The bunny happens to be an evil force that collects human hearts and a woman who escapes the local asylum is looking for evidence of the bunny existing. There is a whole boring storyline about the woman being the chosen one and a dumb hillbilly cannibal family. The only real redeeming thing about the whole film is a ‘Death by a Suction Cup Dildo!” Outside of that you can live your life without watching this as I give a half star. Thank me later from saving you to watch 2 plus hours of complete crap.

 

The Open Trail (DVD) – Another film from Dan Komarek that comes in about 34 minutes is about two friends Sam and Chris going on a hike in the woods. Things are going great until Sam falls off some high rocks and possibly breaking his leg. With friends not leaving friends behind Chris does his best to get Sam back close enough to get him help? But they both believe something or someone is just behind them at all times. After hearing gun shots in the distance Sam’s leg feels better to run but it’s too late as the two friends must face off with their unknown assailant. Mr. Komarek was smart to keep the film short as it is rough around the edges plot wise but more than makes up for it with the characters legit chemistry between them as they fight for their lives. You can see Dan Komarek is passionately trying to get better with each project and a lot of times that is what independent film fans want as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Motor Home Massacre (YouTube) – Some so-called friends jump into an old RV and go for a ride into the woods. That part of the woods (Black Creek) that just happened to have a murder or two in the night before. This doesn’t stop the friends from enjoying the quiet area for drinking and all the sex. Of course there is an unhappy psycho who is pissed all the sex is going down and people need to be killed with a bad plot twist. A lot of us love slasher films and a lot of us enjoy independent slashers but when the project has no heart from the beginning and looks like the story was dumped on film that is never good. Great title, disappointing film, which I am not thankful for as I give it a ½ star.

Bad CGI Sharks (DVD) – A brilliant story about two brothers Matthew and Jason who are very close in many ways as kids. As kids they wanted to make a shark movie like no other but eventually that dream was squished as their father considered Jason a lost cause. Many years later Mathew has grown up and living out in Hollywood! Mathew’s life is turned upside down when his older brother Jason shows up who just so happens to be a bum who still wants to make shark movies. After some fighting, smoking weed, and talking about their movie script with no ending they wrote as kids called, “Sharks Outta Water” a floating shark shows up! It first eats the neighbor but eventually it begins chasing the brothers. It seems a man with a magical clapper board as brought their childhood movie script to life and now they must deal with it in many hilarious ways. Don’t just rent, buy this fucking movie NOW! One of the most entertaining independent shark films ever made as I give this sure to be on the “Best of 2020 list” 4 out of 4 stars.

 

5G Zombies (On Demand) – Yep, leave it me to find another film trying to deal with the Corona Virus and of course it involves zombies. This independent film uses the 5G upgrades and the Corona Virus happening at the same time not a fluke. The upgrades is causing the virus to mutate and causing people to become zombies. Most of the film is a series of shorts spliced together of people doing their character parts over laptops and phones during the ongoing pandemic. Biggest difference between this film and the one from Full Moon is ‘5G Zombies’ goes out of its way to be serious where the other made it a joke from the start. Right or wrong in making these types of films during a pandemic can be debated forever but I just believe maybe this flick should have taken a clue from Full Moon. This film be forgotten quickly if even watched as I give it 1 star.

Killer Ants (On Demand) – A young couple (Evan and Cory) move to small town Texas from New York for a teaching job. Cory enjoyed New York very much and finds the move hard to adjust especially because she keeps getting bit by fire ants and a specialist in fire ants, Olivia has shown interest in Evan. While Cory becomes an amazing shitty cuntface of a character the fire ants have begun to mutate, growing larger, and acting much different than their species dictates. After the wonderful death of Cory in a fridge Olivia tries to not bang Evan on her gravesite in order to find out what is the real cause of her death. The real cause leads to something much more sinister than Olivia and Evan are prepared for. Kudos to the writer, filmmaker, and actress making up one of the most unlikable characters in a movie I have had the pleasure of watching die in a horror movie and for that I give this flick 3 stars.

 

The Strangeness (DVD) – An odd low budget flick that was filmed in 1980 but wasn’t released until 1985 into horror film obscurity. The film has found DVD recently allowing weirdos like me to watch the film and compare it to a film like ‘The Boogens’. A group of people are being paid to chart an abandoned mine called “Golden Spike Mine”. Abandoned many years ago because missing miners and miners refusing to work because of stories of a monster living in the mine. When a cave-in mishap happens the group chooses to go deeper in the mine thinking they can avoid the part of the mine with the stories of monsters. An unseen creature picks them off one by one as they go deeper into the mine until the creature is revealed and it’s a big Vagina! If that wasn’t enough listen to music as I believe John Carpenter might wanna get a lawsuit together? For me the film was neither good nor bad but was just happy to see this low budget mess as I give it 2 stars.

Zombie House Party Massacre (YouTube) – Finally a no budget film that lives up to its name as zombies are just trying to live civil lives in their home. But damn young humans come to rush the house to party and have unprotected sex! The zombies stay quiet in the upstairs room until one of the party goers hear the baby and take it. The zombies just wanting their zombie baby back chase the humans throughout the home and call for help from their zombie friends. What makes it hilarious as they chase the humans around the home they make fun of themselves that they must act a certain way in order to stay scary. Otherwise they are no different than any of us until they finally had enough and start eating the humans to get the zombie baby back! The short film is absolutely wonderful and I could not stop laughing at the zombie jokes as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!