Category Archives: Gross Movie Reviews

Gross Movie Reviews #319

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #319

 

By Tim Gross

 

Red State (DVD) – Kevin Smith’s project about an extremist church group that has been inbreeding and collecting guns preparing for the end. Taking it the next step they lure three teenage males through a sex website so the preacher can make a point about gay people. Things go bad when the ATF is called in after a local deputy is shot when checking out a car on the property of the extremist church group. The movie is good for a few laughs but believe John Goodman’s performance is well worth watching the film no matter what your beliefs are? I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Black Death (DVD) – Sean Bean and David Warner stars in this dark adventure that is set in 1348 during the plague in Europe. Sean Bean who is a part of the church’s army is put in charge of taking a small group of men to a village in the marshland that has been said to be untouched by the plague. They stop at a monastery to find a guide and happen to find a young man who may have lost his way with god and wants to go find his lover. Sean Bean and his group tell the young man the real reason for going and that is to bring down the village and its witch that have betrayed god but the people in the marsh are ready for the group when they arrive. It’s a very dark look at the plague but Sean Bean is perfect for this kind of a flick and that is why I give it 3 stars.

 

Vikingdom (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Dominic Purcell plays a character that has been undead for ten years and must lead a group of fighters against Thor who apparently is a redhead in the SyFy Channel world. It’s kinda blah, so I suggest wasting your time on a different piece of shit movie. I give it a ½ star.

Music Store

Music Store Massacre (DVD) – Writer/Director Gordon Price gives horror fans a no budget film about an evil guitar that keeps showing up at murder scenes. Ten years ago a reverend is found mutilating himself to death as he kills a detective in the process. Now in present time the guitar resurfaces and seems to affect all who play it. Once possessed the person or persons kill all who ‘hate’. The same detective whose partner was killed ten years ago begins to connect the dots during the odd murdering spree in town. The very political incorrect independent film has a little bit of everything for horror fans: a little gore, a cool evil guitar, a little bit of boobs, possession, a dude cutting a tattoo off his girlfriend’s butt! I give Mr. Price’s project 2 ½ out of 4 stars and thank him for giving weird horror movie fans like myself another ‘massacre’ movie. You can find out more about Gordon Price and his project at www.facebook.com/musicstoremassacre .

 

Countess Dracula (Blu-ray/DVD Combo) – Synapse Films does it again with the Hammer Collection with putting together a great package for the flick “Countess Dracula”. The film stars Ingrid Pitt and Nigel Green in a film that was influenced by a real-life Hungarian Countess. Ingrid is an aging woman who comes across something that not only stops you from aging but makes you younger by accident when she cuts one of her housemaids after being angered by her. Quickly noticing the effects Ingrid’s character goes into full killer mode with some help to kill the housemaid returning her to younger days of beauty. Soon she feels alive again and puts on an act for all in her castle to win the heart of a young man but it comes with a price: she must kill a virgin often to keep herself young. And she bathes herself in their blood! It’s a creepy story that doesn’t involve the usual Hammer staples: Vampires, Frankenstein, etc., even though it has ‘Dracula’ in the title. The film has seemed to find more fans in the recent decade or so and I would like to believe besides it showing on AMC Horrorfest it is Ingrid Pitt’s unique charm she brought to the Countess character. The combo pack has a commentary with Ingrid Pitt, author, screenwriter and director. The combo also sports a featurette called, “The Cinematic Life of Ingrid Pitt” and an audio interview with Ingrid. Long live Hammer on Synapse as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and 4 out of 4 on the combo pack. For more information on “Countess Dracula” Combo Pack go to: www.synapse-films.com .

Croaker

Croaker (DVD) – Fred Terling, an independent filmmaker who finally got to realize his dream with his “Croaker” project hopes to give film audiences something a little different or something missing from cinema these days? It all starts with four kids years ago playing down by the old river bed only to have one of them disappear in a drainage pipe. Years have passed and a couple of locals have gone missing while many believe it’s the urban legend of a monster. Also it has come to light that toxic levels are on the rise in the river. Soon with more people missing and weird goo appearing, two of the friends from years ago try to settle their differences and find out what is the real reason for all the missing people and the legend of a strange creature that may have taken them? The film is not a horror film by any stretch but plays out more like an early 80s adventure film I use to see as a youngster on HBO, Saturday mornings. Imagine urban legend monster that isn’t all about blood and guts with a splash of adventure. It is always cool to hear from filmmakers that this was their dream project when I get to watch it. Plus, you get to see me play the role of “Drunk Fisherman Zed”! I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars and you can find out more information on the film at www.croakerthemovie.com .

 

Cockneys vs. Zombies (DVD) – A construction crew unearths a crypt that just happens to imprison a zombie plague and they have awakened them. Meanwhile two brothers and their cousin put a plan together to rob a bank so they can take care of their grandfather and friends whose home for seniors has just been shut down. Soon the zombies destroy East London and the boys must fight their way back to their grandfather to rescue him. It’s a quick, lean, mean zombie film that doesn’t fuss too much with story and keeps it gory and fun all the way through as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Dinosaur Project (DVD) – A UK found footage film about an expedition into the Congo of people hoping to find more than just dinosaur bones as people there have talked of strange creatures appearing since more deforestation has taken place in recent years. It’s a decent “let’s kill 90 minutes” kinda film that falls in the trap of we all have seen this film one too many times as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #318

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #318

 

By Tim Gross

 

Snakeeater II: The Drug Buster (VHS) – Lorenzo Lamas is back as Jack aka Soldier who this time around is thrown of the police force for his excessive force against drug dealers. So he goes out on his own to take the city’s biggest drug lords down when a couple of teenagers from the dance club he oversees overdose. His sidekick who wants to clean up streets is none other than Larry B. Scott aka Lamar from the classic “Revenge of the Nerds”. Sounded like a good idea to check out the sequels since the first flick was pretty good… I was wrong. I give it 1 star.

 

Snakeeater III: His Law (VHS) – Lamas is back to reprise his role one more time in this no budget action flick that its only highlight is Bam Bam Bigelow getting electrocuted in his own shithouse! The first film was fun but two and three are just pure crap as they all but going for the quick buck in the early 90s. I give it 1 star.

 

Oldboy [remake] (OnDemand) – I am a big fan of the original chaotic classic so I was skeptical about the US version starring Josh Brolin playing the lead ‘Joe’. Joe drinks too much, hits on any woman that isn’t his wife, doesn’t care about his kid or really his job. One night during a bender he meets an Asian woman in the rain while knocking on a friend’s door. Next thing Joe knows is he is trapped in what looks to be a hotel room for 20 years. Over time Joe wants to escape and find his daughter. One night Joe is drugged and all cleaned up only to awake in a chest in the middle of nowhere with a wad of cash. Joe now decides he needs to track down everyone he has fucked over before he was kidnapped. Josh pulls the role off great and the film has some amazing action scenes but it misses the much chaotic charm the original had as it was something you couldn’t talk about or explain but witness… But with that said this remake is a fine movie also that I have to give 3 stars.

 

Ghosthouse (VHS) – Part Eye-talian, part US flick with a creepy ass clown, and wicked weird music that plays constantly when this little girl haunts an old house that people just happen to stumble upon because of their radio broadcasts. Horror fans creepy ass clown always makes the film worth one watch at least as I give it 2 stars.

 

Snitch (DVD) – Another film starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as it seems he poops out features daily? But the film is based on true events about a father who makes a deal with a government official to bring down a druglord and his money flow for the release of his son that was busted receiving drugs through the mail with intent to sell. Surprisingly, a good film for the “Rock” as he cements his star in the Hollywood action world. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Ghost Town (VHS) – A lost Charles Band produced flick from Empire Pictures in 1988 about a sheriff that gets sucked into the past by a ghostly wind and must bring down an undead villain in order to escape back to present day. If you are over the age of 30 you most likely would know the film from its cool box art that featured a skeleton cowboy on the cover. “Ghost Town” is one of the few Charles Band produced pictures that has failed to find its way onto a different format other than VHS, but you can find it on YouTube from time to time. I give the Old Empire Pictures flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Carnosaur 3: Primal Species (DVD) – Roger Corman produced sequel that stars Scott Valentine has the military trying to clean up the experimental dinosaurs that were mistaken for drugs or weapons when terrorists hi-jack the tractor trailer they were transported on. The dinosaurs eat the terrorists and pretty much spend their time eating mercenaries on a boat aka a warehouse at Corman’s studio in 1996. I give the boring flick 1 star.

 

Treasure of the Four Crowns (VHS) – An Italian/US/Spanish production trying to capitalize on Indiana Jones phenomenon in 1983 with a character named J.T. Stryker, on tenth of the budget, and in 3-D. The first twenty minutes of the film will simply make you shit yourself at all that is going on with Stryker. Simply put a mysterious man possibly government dude wants Stryker and his team to go steal some jewels that are in a couple crowns from a crazy cult leader named Jonas that might have the power for one being to rule the world. We got melting faces, fire shooting from hands, cult people, dogs that just appear in castle ruins and pissed, weird mutant monsters, and we have the over the top 80s 3-D that just makes this the perfect party movie. I give this flick 3 stars and this is a film that could find new life on Blu-Ray?

 

The Wolverine (DVD) – Marvel continues the X-men storyline with following Wolverine after killing Jean Grey and just wanting to be left alone. But he is seeked out by his old master in Japan because he wants to grant him one gift before dying and that is giving Logan a chance to grow old and die. It’s a decent film to move the story along but has seem to lose its luster as Marvel tries to tell the live action story of Logan who just happens to be one of comics most popular comic book characters ever. But its great popcorn entertainment for the kids as my daughter approves of the film especially when Magneto and Professor X greet Wolverine at the airport during the credits. I prefer the early X-men film but will give it 2 stars.

Heavy

Heavy Metal Massacre (VHS) – A very small unknown independent horror film shot on video in 1989 by David DeFalco aka Bobbi Young in the film. I had to watch this flick just for the mere reason of its title but the cover also looks like late 80s Lita Ford holding a chainsaw! Besides seeing the boom mic in several scenes you have Bobbi Young hanging out at the local headbanger club looking all leather and studly looking for woman with their hair tease to the ceiling and wanting drugs. Once he lured his victims to his basement he murders them including one scene that Bobbi has a rubber sledgehammer (love it)! But what make this awesomely bad film hilarious is the two bumbling detectives who cannot figure out its Bobbi Young.  If you were any kind of metal fan back in the late 80s and early 90s do yourself a favor and track this son of a bitch down! I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

The Dead Beat Volume Two (VHS) – Thanks to “Out of Print Dan”, he tracked this down knowing I have talked about the first Post Mordum video magazine “The Dead Beat” which didn’t seem to exist or was very unknown to most horror movie fans. Volume Two is a fun and pleasant video featuring KNB guys explaining all their effects and how they work together so well, David J. Schow (always respected this dude) , Screaming Mad George talking about “The Guyver”,  Randy Cook speaks about “The Gate” and “I, Madman”, and they have a cool “Re-animator tribute. A great trip down memory lane for horror movie fans like me as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Dead Beat Volume Three (VHS) – Another great entry into this series that “Out of Print Dan” tracked down for me to review. This time around they Optic Nerve/John Vulich discuss make-up effects, Frank Darabont interview, Special set look at “The Unnamable 2”, and Clive Barker discusses “Hellraiser 1 thru 3”. Awesome stuff horror fans as I give it 4 stars also.

 

Sorority House Vampires from Hell 3-D Edition (DVD) – A boring vampire film from 2001 that was trying to capitalize on the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” craze with loads of topless women and vamps of course. The film comes off like a bad episode of the “Red Shoe Diaries” that never aired and might had a better chance in making an impact if they just went hardcore porn with this parody. I was just disappointed I had to watch it hoping it might have the charm of a Jim Wynorski film but I was wrong as I give it 0 stars.

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Artificial Intelligence in the Cyber Age Panel

0
Posted on by

Come hang out with us next Saturday… Bring us a beverage, people know I like Yuengling but that Christine M. Soltis is crazy in a good way because I think she likes Box wine!!!? But in all seriousness come out and check out me the crazy beer drinking hobo hang with the smart people and discuss A.I. aka me screaming about X-files… Then check out the great selection of books at Chris Rickert‘s bookstore! — at Rickert & Beagle Books.

https://www.facebook.com/events/432181823585790/?ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming

 

Panel photo

Gross Movie Reviews #317

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #317

 

 By Tim Gross

 

Reap (DVD) – A short film from Kyle Cates that was one of the many extras on the excellent independent thriller “Intrusion”. The film has a fun shot on video early 90s vibe where a married couple is getting ready to have a baby soon, new house, and cannot wait to spend their lives together. But soon this is all disrupted when an unknown individual breaks into the home and brutally rapes and kills the wife. During a struggle shortly after the husband gets the upper hand and takes matters into his own hands and disgustingly destroys the person that has ruined his perfect life. I give it 2 1/2 out of 4 stars.

 

Don’t Look Now (VHS) – A Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie film from 1973 based on a novel set in Venice, Italy. Jon and Laura is a happy couple until their daughter drowns in a creek in the backyard but the disturbing thing is Jon may have seen it happen before it did. Some time passes with Jon set on rebuilding an old church and his wife Laura still trying to pick up the pieces meets a woman and her sister who is blind and they see Laura’s dead child. The movie moves at a snail’s pace and is supposed to be atmospheric. Me, I just could not get into the film at any point and wondered out loud if Donald had in his contract that he must be naked in every film he made in the 70s. I give the flick 1 star.

 

The ABCs of Death (DVD) – The concept is 26 short films by 26 different filmmakers from around the world and each of their films is one of the letters of the alphabet. Some are great, a few are horrible, and a couple I just snickered at. But the anthology project is something great for horror in my opinion because I believe Hollywood or at least some involved with Hollywood took notice of what has been done a few times now in the past decade by awesome unknown independent filmmakers. What I did take away from this interesting project was the second half of the alphabet really seems to have a toilet theme going…? I give it 3 stars and independent filmmakers remember someone has noticed what all yinz unknown talented bitches and bastards are doing!

fauces - claws - devil bear - 1977 - video011

Claws (VHS) – Imagine William Girdler’s “Grizzly” on no budget with lots of bear stock footage. Anyway apparently after a grizzly is wounded five years ago, it has a taste for human blood in the Alaskan mountains. Some of the natives believe the bear is the “devil bear” and cannot be killed or it’s a ghost sent to haunt humans for fucking with bears. Either way the film is a butt load of fun if you like ‘When Animal Attacks’ flicks. I give the flick 2 ½ stars. This film proves why a lot of 70s flicks are just going to get better with age.

 

Twisted Fate (DVD) – A budding independent filmmaker Timothy Novotny with big ideas gave me his first short film from 2012 that has two men: Samuel and Kain hanging out in a basement looking for salvation in one form or other. I like the bleakness, the guts, and the arguments of the bible that compare to what’s left of the world after it went to hell. But a little more budget and a different direction may have made this short film just plain bad ass! With a little confidence in his future projects and his team up with one of my personal favorite independent filmmakers Jim Roberts makes me joyful in what Tim has in store for horror film fans like me. I give the flick 2 out of 4 stars. For more details on this filmmaker and other projects check out: www.novotariansyndicate.com .

 

Outpost 3: Rise of the Spetsnaz (On Demand) – The prequel/sequel to the amazing Nazi Zombie Bunker films that I am sure Hollywood will try to remake it and have Paul W. ‘I suck’ S. Anderson destroy it like he does with most projects. This story takes place towards the end of WWII with a Russian hit squad making their way towards a secret Nazi facility. Little they know Nazis are doing experiments of all sorts on the undead. Once captured and most of them killed, two surviving bad ass Russians just put an ass whopping on zombie experiments and Nazi officers in order to escape the underground prison. Cool creatures, great gore, but the film just doesn’t fit with the two great films before it. If you have seen the first two films this maybe a letdown since the first two films not only set the bar very high to top, but had an ending that satisfy most viewers. Also make sure you pay attention to when the American soldier is introduced to the Russians as his name is Captain Rogers. I give the film 2 stars.

 

The Dark Side of the Moon (VHS) – This is a little unknown sci-fi flick that predates “Event Horizon” by several years. Its 2022 and a ship comes across Discovery 18 which disappeared after a splashdown in the Bermuda Triangle 30 years ago. The crew having issues with its instruments and oxygen levels right before they go into the shadow of the moon find the drifting ship. The crew boards in hopes of finding answers to their ship’s problems but end up with a whole other set of problems, mainly the devil may have been waiting for them in outer space? The film doesn’t have much of a budget or named actors but has a well-rounded story that makes the film worth tracking down if you never heard of it. Call it a hidden gem as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Man of Steel (DVD) – The newest version of Superman hit the big screen with lots of fanfare and comic book geeks ejaculating all over themselves. The film retells the story of Clark Kent hiding among us common humans and brings back one of the coolest villains ever in General Zod where Superman must choose sides between the new Krypton and Earth. The film was entertaining and I got to admit I did enjoy the new Zod but felt Russell Crowe was a little over the top and just feel it’s hard to beat the cheesy Christopher Reeve version with the perfect General Zod in part two. I give the film 2 ½ stars. Let’s hope it doesn’t take another $200 – $500 million dollars and twenty years later to keep the franchise going as I love Marvel but Superman was always intriguing…

7th Day 2012 movie poster

7th Day (DVD) – In the past most independent filmmakers would make a serial killer film and as a reviewer I would  almost cringe at the thought of it as the project was usually brainless, bloodless, and a complete waste of time as they would try to mostly use naked women to sell the bad product.But the past year or two independent filmmakers and writers have blown me away how they have been able to make these lean, mean, gritty, serial killer films that make Hollywood blush. And Jason Koch made sure this project was no different than that trend in blowing me away with the “7th Day” film. We meet a man named Allen Dean who knows what he is and tells the viewer plain and simple, “This is what he does.” Allen narrates most of the film or talks to a ghost, his conscience, image of a mutated reporter (take your pick) and takes you the viewer through his insanely sleazy life. Allen Dean would like you to know he picks his victims by “selections” and is completely sane even if he feels the need to do cocaine with his neighbor or have sex with one of his victims. Even with all that going on Mr. Dean is trying to figure out how he can get the love of his life to notice him at his dead end job. The film takes an unconventional roller coaster ride into the gross and sick world of Allen Dean, with just a dash of sleaze that makes you want to watch and enjoy the film alone and be sure to take a shower after. Bravo Jason Koch, you have gotten my attention and most likely many others and good luck. I give the project 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find the film at: www.direwitfilms.com .

 

Beware! The Blob (VHS/YouTube) – It’s the follow-up to the 50s classic that takes a more comedic approach its basic premise Hippies vs. The Blob. The film feels like exploitation but just feel it’s just one of those bad 70s films that most of our parents enjoyed making fun at the drive-in back in their day. Oh by the way, an instant frozen ice rink kills it and did I mention Larry Hagman directed with having Dick Van Patten, Cindy Williams, Sid Haig, and Burgess Meredith in his cast? I give it 1 ½ stars but if I’m drunk I would give it 3 stars.

 

Bermuda Tentacles (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Oh thank the lord Rutger Hauer that SyFy Channel has broken their almost five month drought without a new Saturday night flick! John Savage plays the president, Linda Hamilton plays a Naval fleet commanding officer, and Jamie Kennedy plays a scientist (remember the talented Tara Reid in “Alone in the Dark”), I believe I have said too much besides the Bermuda Triangle is an alien being! I give it 2 stars and thank you SyFy Channel.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

Don’t forget you can find me here on May 3rd:

Panel photo

Gross Movie Reviews #316

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #316

 

By Tim Gross

 

Oblivion (DVD) – A great sci-fi/western/comedy off the beaten path type of film from Charles Band and Full Moon back in the mid-90s. It’s the year 3031 and the old west is back again with even a cyborg deputy played by the cool ass Meg Foster! A bad dude named Red Eye played by Andrew Divoff rolls into town of Oblivion for the mere reason to shoot down the town sheriff. Once done, Red Eye and his S&M sidekick Lash plan on taking over the town. The son of the sheriff learns of the news from the undertaker and returns to a town looking for a new sheriff and he believes he isn’t it as his father and he didn’t see eye to eye. Whether Zack wants to or not he must face off with Red Eye in a showdown as lives depend on it. The film has some great moments that include the night scorps and an arm wrestling event that involves a little green puppet monster. This is a film that has been forgotten by most but worth revisiting as Charles Band proved he can do other projects outside of the usual suspects: Puppet Master, Trancers, and Subspecies. The film also stars the likes of Issac Hayes, Julie Newmar, George Takei, Carel Struycken, and Irwin Keyes. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Oblivion 2: Backlash (DVD) – The film continues the storyline of Lash still doing criminal activity but with Red Eye dead she is forced to do everything herself and the new sheriff Zack plans on keeping the town of Oblivion safe. But soon that changes when a bounty hunter played by Maxwell Caulfield flies his ship into town to arrest Lash for something she never did years ago. Zack finds himself between a rock and a hard place when he has to defend Lash but also finds out Red Eye has a brother Jaggar has just landed and wants to find Lash also. The sequel struggles to have the same fun western/sci-fi feel of the first flick and seems at times Charles Band maybe shouldn’t have stretch the storyline to a second film… But if you watched the first film you need to see the second film to see how it ends as I give the film 2 stars.

 

Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong (DVD) – The mish-mash flick may never have lived up to the hyped but Charles Band goes all out to market the film any way possible as I got mine in a box of cereal called “WEEDIES”! At least Full Moon veteran actress Robin Sydney (Sarah) returns; as the pretty girl who owns the bakery that brought to life the foul-mouthed cookie monster we all know and love. But Charles Band doesn’t stop there as he brings back Larnell from the “Evil Bong” series and he relives his story through flashbacks now that he owns his own Head Shop and would like to meet Sarah in order to help each other out business wise. Meanwhile the evil cookie is back and wants his revenge on Sarah but he has to go find them in the world of EEBEE the Evil Bong. Soon it builds for a face-off that just putters out than be a fun colossal fight. This film disappointed me, but shouldn’t have as Charles Band has tried mish-mash fights like this in the past and it doesn’t translate well in Full Moon movie world as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

 

The Missing (DVD) – Tommy Lee Jones stars in this supernatural western film that has him as a father to Kate Blatchett that left her years ago to pursue a dream he had that told him that he needed to leave his family. But now he is back trying to reconnect only to have it go wrong when an Indian attacks his family and kidnaps his granddaughter. But this Indian is considered a witch as he hangs snakes from trees and only believes in selling women of any color in Mexico. To be honest I totally forgot this flick but glad I got a chance to watch this film as I can see why some people even classify it as a horror film. I give it 3 stars.

Survival Quest

Survival Quest (VHS) – A great forgotten Don Coscarelli film that doesn’t get its due it deserves as Lance Henriksen plays a character named Hank Chambers who is a mountain man that helps normal people come to his camp and learn to work together, survive in the wild, and respect the world. When Hank confronts a crazed weekend warrior and he is wounded his group runs for their lives and tries to survive the crazed weekend warrior’s attacks throughout the woods and the only ones they can depend on is themselves as Hank has taught them. A great 80s adventure film that seems timeless and deserves a better fate than YouTube/VHS hell. I give the flick 4 stars and as usual prove Lance Henriksen makes everything better including having Reggie Bannister as your airplane pilot.

 

The Last Warrior (DVD) – A 9.7 magnitude earthquake separates California from the rest of the United States and Dolph Lundgren has taken it upon himself to try and restore order at his lonely armed forces compound to all who come. The film sounds better than it is just for the mere fact the film lacks budget and could have possibly been bad ass if there was a better budget for Dolph and company. I give the film 2 stars.

sucky_teen_romance

My Sucky Teen Romance (DVD) – Emily Hagins, the young filmmaker that gave us the interesting zombie flick “Pathogen” several years ago this time around tackles teens facing college, their last trip to SpaceCon, and are vampires actually real. The movie pokes fun at the recent “Twilight” films every chance it gets but also pokes fun at today’s awkward teens just trying to live their lives the way they want. Don’t let the title mislead you away from this very funny and a must watch comedy. I give it 3 stars.

 

The Fine Art (VHS) – Its Eric Stanze’s shot on video student film from 1992 and released in 1994 that revolves around an artist named Valerie that is very talented but not at love as she is very unsure of herself. Valerie goes out on a blind date at her friend’s persistence with a friend of hers and soon allows him into her world. But when Valerie peaks into his world she is disturbed and scared what could happen next, especially when her best friend brings up the Cedar Hill Slayer murders that happened last year. The film is very rough around the edges but if given a chance you can see why Eric Stanze is considered a talented filmmaker. I give it 2 stars.

 

Bounty Hunters 2: Hardball (VHS) – Michael Dudikoff and Lisa Howard are back in the sequel playing bounty hunters who get tangled up with the mob only to realize they really need to work together before both are killed. Yeah, the movie is a big bag of boring poo but with Dudikoff starring and a number 2 after the title there was no way I could pass it up. I give the flick 1 star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #315

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #315

 

 By Tim Gross

 

The Visitor (DVD) – The crazy hippie space out film from 1979 is also known as “Stridulum” is being released by Alamo Drafthouse Films. I believe there is no sure way to describe Hippie Jesus and an old dude help alien children and they are from a different dimension or something like that. This film makes the ‘mindfuck’ film “Fight Club” like a normal boring film. Apparently, Space Jesus aka Franco Nero tells a story about an alien prisoner who escaped years ago and pretty much impregnated any woman he could on earth so there would be evil alien children! It only gets better when a 8 year old named Katie shows up at a Lance Henriksen owned Atlanta Rebels basketball game to make a basketball explode in the final seconds and no one questions it. From there Katie’s mom doesn’t want to get married or have another child as Lance’s character presses her to do so as he is being controlled by a room full of unknown men. There is an agenda somewhere but between the old dude John Huston showing up to take Katie to another dimension and some weird sexual thing in white tents on top of a building I am not sure exactly what agenda it is serving except for those of you that will take LSD when watching the film. The film also stars Sam Peckinpah, Shelley Winters, and Glenn Ford in a movie that words cannot do justice for… Which by the way did I mention Space Jesus? Good luck my weird movie watching friends as I give the film 3 stars for just being that out there.

 

Bounty Hunters (VHS) – Michael Dudikoff is a low end bounty hunter that needs a paycheck to his bills that month and pleads to the local police he needs something. Well, he gets a guy he is supposed to pick up that gets him $10,000 but soon realizes he might want more money as a woman bounty hunter has been camping out on the guy for five days and they just got mixed up into some mob business. Unless you are a Dudikoff fan it’s not the most exciting action film as I give it 2 stars.

 

This is the End (DVD) – James Franco is having his usual Hollywood party that has all the young rich stars partying like it’s the end of the world until it is. Earthquakes begin to happen; trees are falling, people getting sucked up by blue lights from the sky, people dying… Once Seth Rogen and his best friend get back from the convenience store, Franco and others board up the house and try to decide what the next move is for them, if any. The film is hilarious but for me not as good as “The World’s End” but was still glad I got to see it. I have to give the flick 3 stars.

 

The Art of the Steal (On Demand) – If you were awaiting Kurt Russell’s comeback like I was you will not be disappointed in this crime/action flick that has Kurt Russell as an aging thief who did 5 ½ years in a Poland prison and now retired from the life of crime after his brother put him there. Russell is a motorcycle riding stuntman who pretty much does stunts for small carnivals and so on which pales in comparison what he used to do in another life. But when an opportunity arises for Russell to not only get back in the game but be remembered for one of the biggest art heists ever he has a plan you don’t see coming until it is over. The film is well directed, well casted, and kept me at the edge of my seat the whole time. Loved every second of screen time Russell had and just to top it off General Zod from “Superman 2” is a former art thief who helps authorities look into criminals like Russell’s character. The film is absolutely brilliant and cannot wait to watch it again as I believe it will be one of the best films for me in 2014 as I give it 4 stars.

 

Machete Kills (DVD) – Danny Trejo is back to reprise his role as “Machete” this time to do a job for his new country and to help out president Carlos Estevez kill a man in Mexico who has his sights or missile aimed at Washington D.C. But when the missile is control by the madman’s heart Machete just can’t kill him he must fight to get him over the border in 24 hours and get the only other person that exists to remove the contraption. Once again lots of over the top action, blood, and famous cameos but in the end I find myself enjoying the first film more than this sequel. Maybe it was missing crazy luchadors? But if Robert Rodriguez is able to pull off a third film that takes place in space that could be even more amazing than the first film! I give the sequel 3 stars and thought it was smart casting choice in making Mel Gibson the villain “Voz”. Now go and enjoy!

 

Hidden (DVD) – A fun horror film about a dude that inherits a building that just happens to hold his mother’s scientific experiments where she believed she could cure addiction all together with the help of a flying insect. But once himself and friends arrive to check out the place and decide what to do with it the man finds out his mother did these experiments hidden away for good reason as strange kids begin to fucking eat his friends one by one. The film reminds me a lot of the relatively unknown horror film “The Kindred” from 1987. The horror film is worth taking a chance on as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Back Road

Back Road (DVD) – Independent film producer and writer Jon Manthei with the help of writer/director Joseph Thompson is back at it again with his latest short film that in my belief could make a great 75 or 80 minute feature. The film follows Tommy and Tabaitha who are on their first date and have a flat tire on a long dirt road and its getting dark. Together they find help from a kind stranger driving by only to find they are next on the family’s menu but the film ends when it is just beginning as one of the couple have a surprise for the cannibal family. The film feels like “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and 3” meets “From Dusk Till Dawn” as it lures you in with the feeling you have seen this film before until the surprise happens and makes you want more from the talented duo. What makes the film work really well is not only how well the surprise is set up but I thought the two actors playing Tommy and Tabaitha played the ‘awkward first date couple’ so well you actually feel really bad when they are first kidnapped. I give the short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars and hope the talented duo listens and fleshes out a feature of this short film with a little more darker and demonic overtone to it? To find out more about Jon Manthei, Joseph Thompson, and their future projects go check out www.facebook.com/campfirepictures . Oh by the way look for the Ted Nugent for President bumper sticker, it fits perfect in this short film.

TRANCERS1_5Newsletter

Trancers City of Lost Angels (DVD) – Finally, the lost sequel or segment for Charles Band’s “Pulsepounders” anthology that never seen the light of day has been restored and released to DVD recently. Most people call it “Trancers 1.5” as the 25 minute film picks sometime after the first film with Jack Deth and his girlfriend Helen Hunt in 1986 running Deth’s detective agency. While during an argument between the two, McNulty knocks on the door after coming down the line to warn Jack about a criminal Edlin Shock who has escaped and wants him dead after spending five years in a prison in the future. Jack Deth springs into action again to return the futuristic criminal only to realize he misses the past and wants to spend his time in the past. It’s great seeing this film as if you are a fan of the series “1.5” fits just right into the timeline and most likely was to help new fans of Full Moon in 1988/1989 to understand the Jack Deth character more as the first film was hard to find depending where you lived. Once the sequels came out, the first film eventually became easier to find especially with the introduction of DVD in the 90s. I give the film 3 stars if you are a fan of the series, 2 stars if you are new to the whole Jack Deth story as most likely since this is one of the earlier Full Moon series that hasn’t had a sequel or reboot in years?

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #314

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #314

 

By Tim Gross

 

Cheerleader Camp (DVD) – A 1988 slasher that got past me during my teenage years and once I found out about the film I made it a point to track it down and review the slasher flick. And after many years the horror film did not disappoint me as I enjoyed its gory cheese the whole way. The film sports a great cast for a slasher film in Leif Garrett, George “Buck” Flower, Betsy Russell, the amazing looking Lucinda Dickey (the Breakin’ films), and a before porn and absolutely beautiful Teri Weigel! The film follows a group of cheerleaders that leave for the wilderness to train and win the Cheerleader championship… Sounds fun for all until Allison keeps having bad dreams and her boyfriend Leif Garrett keeps trying to bang other women, then next thing you know someone gets a bear trap to the face and another gets hedge clippers to the face. Blood, boobs, and more blood make this slasher film worth revisiting again as I give it 3 stars and may boast the funniest mascot eating lunch scene ever? Apparently depending what country the film was released it could be found as “Bloody Poms Poms” on VHS and DVD.

CM 2

Circuitry Man 2: Plughead Rewired (VHS) – Vernon Wells stars as Plughead in this futuristic film where most humans live underground and the government has Plughead to experiment on until he makes a deal with a scientist (Traci Lords) to help her have a baby. After helping Plughead escaped he is back in business and rewiring humans in order for them to extend their life by ten years and it is up to the Romeo droid again to stop him. George “Buck” Flower and Nicolas Worth round out this great low budget 90s sci-fi flick. Vernon Wells always makes movies better and this no different as I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Sorority Girls and the Creature from Hell (VHS) – This beyond low budget sci-fi film from 1990 has an archeologist stumbling upon an ancient relic in a mountain that just happens to possess him and search for blood. Meanwhile his niece, daughter, can’t remember goes with friends to his cabin to fuck around until they are massacred quite quickly. I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Invaders from Mars (DVD) – A mid-80s Tobe Hooper flick that I always get mixed up with 1983s “Strange Invaders”. This flick plays out more like a very creepy episode of “Goosebumps” with wicked ass alien creatures. But anyway one night during a stormy night aliens land at Copper Hill, a small California town where they begin to take over humans and consume copper. Soon most of the town is taken over except for a kid and he gets the school nurse (Karen Black) to believe him and try to help get the army to stop it before it’s too late. The kid is played by Hunter Carson who just happened to be the original Bud Bundy but was let go after the pilot when Ed O’Neal felt like he just wasn’t right for the part. Plus we get a quick Conehead impression from Lorraine Newman (pay attention at the end of the film), James Karen playing an army general, and the legendary Phil Fondacaro is uncredited with playing one of the alien creatures. A cool and creepy classic sci-fi/horror film for many who grew up during the 80s. I give the film 3 stars.

 

Girls Nite Out (DVD) – A 1982 slasher film starring Hal Holbrook that looks more like it was made in 1977. It’s ‘Hell Week’ at college and the new pledges are told of the legendary Dickey Cavanagh who couldn’t take the break up with his girlfriend real well and killed her. Security guard Hal Holbrook makes a phone call to the asylum only to find out Dickey killed himself two days ago when these killings started. This may be the best bear suited slasher film to date as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Kiss in Attack of the Phantoms (DVD) – The made for TV movie was also known as “Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park” but in 1978 was beyond the imagination of Kiss fans as they could not get enough of Kiss. But the film also marks the beginning of the end for the legendary rock band or at least the original members as fights broke out behind the scenes. The film may be more notorious for its behind the scenes action than what was actually being filmed for the NBC movie of the week? The film had problems from the beginning as Kiss having such a heavy touring schedule at the time was not able to write new songs for the film or even be able to reshoot some scenes that were unusable and eventually some dubbing was done. Plus there was pointing of fingers of drug use, rewrites, etc. But after it was finished all four members refuse to acknowledge the bad film. Basic plot is Kiss comes to play a couple concerts at an amusement park but ends up getting entangled in a fight with an evil scientist that wants to destroy Kiss. The film was based on their comic book characters which also explain how big the band was at the time. The film is completely retarded and doesn’t make much sense but will always give me the memory of my mom looking for the VHS tape for almost a full decade during the 80s so she could give it to my brother for his birthday one year. Too much time has passed for me to remember why it was so hard to find but it always makes for a great memory when watching Peter Criss flipping around, Gene Simmons roaring like a lion for no reason, Paul sporting the hairy chest, and Ace karate kicking weird ass cat people next to a roller coaster! I may only give the movie 1 star but I will always have that memory.

 

The Retaliator (VHS) – The very underrated actor Robert Ginty aka ‘The Exterminator’ is pissed that he captures a American woman (Sandahl Bergman) who is helping terrorists while his team was there to rescue two kids. When Ginty’s character tries to find out more about her he learns she went brain dead so the CIA decides to experiment on her and turn her into a weapon aka “Eve of Destruction”. But soon she gains some memories after killing her target and decides she needs more targets. Great low budget action stuff that will make you forget the Gregory Hines film. I give the flick 3 stars and can be also found under the title “Programmed to Kill”.

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews loves the new “Delirium” magazine!

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews loves the new “Delirium” magazine!

 

By Tim Gross

 

For years I have collected horror magazines: Fangoria, Gorezone, Slaughter House, Toxic Horror, Fango’s poster mags, Horrorhound, Ultra Violent, Rue Morgue… They were all good in their own way but at all times I always felt something was missing and me being me it was Full Moon! Yeah I have shouted from the heavens for years Full Moon and Charles Band never got much respect in the horror magazine world. Call me crazy but it was one of the many reasons I stop buying magazines a couple years ago. Every once in a while there would be a blurb two sentences long about Band’s latest flick and that was it. But didn’t “Batman Returns” and even Gene Simmons grace the covers of Fangoria. Really, but that is for another article and another time of ranting.

Then a couple months ago I heard rumbles that Full Moon was going to be in the business of not only doing their own streaming channel but a full color magazine? At first, I thought this had to be another of Charles Band’s crazy ideas that may never see the light of day as the man seems to have more projects going all at once than most studios attempt in a full year. But after the streaming site went up and I heard Full Moon fans actually giggle in delight I knew I had to take this seriously. But what also got my attention was Chris Alexander was going to have a big hand in bringing the Full Moon magazine to life. Mr. Alexander deserves credit for bringing back Fangoria from the dimension of “No one gives a fuck about that magazine any longer”. So I knew when this magazine was released I was in for a treat and a treat it is Full Moon fans. Imagine the original black and white Full Moon newsletter, the great Videozone after all the great Full Moon films, and Charles Band’s great You Tube updates all smashed into a beautiful creation called, “Delirium!”

Delirium is a magazine fully dedicated to everything Full Moon and to top it off for its first issue they go get Stuart Gordon for an interview and talk everything “Re-Animator” which makes my Full Moon heart just melt. The first bi-monthly issue not only covers Stuart Gordon, but Barbara Crampton, music of Richard Band, 88 Films, Tourist Trap ( a Chuck Connors classic), The new Wizard Studios, and lets you in on Blue Underground has just hooked up with Charles Band and company. What makes this magazine special is it makes me think Charles Band read my mind but in all honestly just shows Full Moon is back and seems to be traveling the path of being as popular as they were in the 90s if not bigger… with much more to come! So be sure you do yourself a favor and get a subscription to my new favorite magazine NOW!!! The Puppet Master fan in you commands you to do so or face the fury of Blade, Jester, Pinhead, and Leech woman.

delirium-issue-1-cover

Horror Realm this weekend horror movie fans!!!

0
Posted on by

Horror Realm march

 

 

 

Come on out as I will have a table with co-director Daniel Boyd as we continue pimping out our new film Jagoff Massacre! We will have copies of the film for sale and we still have a few T-shirts left. Plus I will have my book The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews for sale and of course I will be there to talk about the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast, Spookies, Jagoff Massacre 2 as its in pre-production, my next book which was recently finished and just waiting for the perfect cover from the great artist Ed Quillin! And as always we will have a beer or two or 12… So come on by the convention check out all the guests, movies, and at some point stop by to chat with Gross Movie Reviews himself Tim Gross. I will see yinz there!

Gross Movie Reviews #313

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #313

 

By Tim Gross

 

Homesick (DVD) – An independent film that was released through Synapse Films that stars the very talented Tiffany Shepis, Bill Moseley, and Tom Towles. Friends at a party one night are visited by a strange man or should I say razor salesman who holds Shepis hostage while he asks questions and cuts himself with razors that were in his suitcase. The questions result in who you want to die? Well after the salesman/Bill Moseley leaves, the friends begin dying one by one and not sure how to stop the killing spree. There is a good amount of gore and a couple uncomfortable scenes for the horror newbies but overall the film was kinda blah and may have be better off with less acting talent and using the money for other things to help the film. I give the movie 2 stars.

 

Fall Down Dead (DVD) – The great Udo Kier plays a serial killer named The Picasso Killer who is chasing his perfect victim on Christmas Eve. If that wasn’t enough David Carradine is thrown in as a security guard and a victim of The Picasso Killer. The script is not great but with the presence of Udo Kier and some awesome gore effects and kept me interested long enough to watch the whole film and give it 2 ½ stars.

swamphead_1

Swamphead (DVD) – It is the mysterious independent screener that was found behind my computer with an email address and no one claiming of giving it to me to review. The film is from Rabid Child Films and is about a man a thousand years ago named Robert Gross (awesome) whose head is separated from his body during a bloody battle and apparently haunts the local Wisconsin woods. Well Gross’s head is pissed off, giving rednecks with a broken arm head in a hot tub, and back to killing local folk. But it’s all up to a paranormal expert, a retard, and three high school kids to stop Swamphead. The independent film is not great by any means but I was entertained by the flying robot and the giant bloodbath. I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Eastern Condors (DVD) – A film from the mid-80s which is along the lines of an international Rambo and Rambo 2 and a better looking Delta Force film starring and directed by Sammo Hung. Two Asian officers are hired by the U.S. government for a super-secret mission where they recruit 10 prisoners with nothing to lose and everything to gain (U.S. citizenship and $200,000) where they would parachute into Vietnam and destroy a secret stash of weapons that the U.S. left when the military pulled out in 1974-1975. What makes the film even more interesting is right before the captain of the mission is about to jump he is told that the mission has been aborted which places an extra spin on this unbelievable action film. This film completely blows away any “Delta Force” flick. This film beginning to end is overflowing with great eye-popping fight scenes and is another example of why I need to find more international films to watch and review! I give the film 4 stars.

 

Absolute Power (DVD) – Another great Clint Eastwood flick that has him playing a thief who is blamed for the death of a rich woman who was having an affair with the President of the United States and is married to the president’s best friend. Eastwood’s character sees everything and escapes when the secret service is trying to cover it up as a burglary gone wrong. Eastwood on the run has been doing this for a long time and knows he needs to disappear far away until the president holds a press conference showing his ignorance to the event and decides he is gonna return the stolen money and jewelry and bring down the president and the people who covered it up. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

The Frozen Ground (DVD) – A film based on a true story stars an old looking John Cusack playing serial killer Robert Hansen who became notorious in 1983 when captured by an Alaskan state trooper for the amount of murders he got away with for over a decade and the exact number may never be known. Nic Cage puts in a good performance as the Alaskan state trooper who helps and uses information given to him by a young hooker who survived an attack by Robert Hansen. Hansen was perceived as the perfect family man with a couple kids, business, etc., but has a history of events that involved abusing women but was never charged and that just fueled his desire to murder whenever the family was out of town. A good film worth tracking down if you enjoy films about true life serial killers as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alien Space Avenger

Alien Space Avenger (VHS) – My obsession for watching bad films has no bounds as this 1988 low budget flick has a cartoonist struggling to keep his job unless he comes up with a new story arc. But before that four alien terrorists escape to earth in the 1930s looking for plutonium for their ship only to find zero and decide to hide in their ship for fifty years. Unearthed by a construction crew, the aliens make their way into New York looking for plutonium for their ship. Then they are to be followed by the struggling cartoonist who uses the aliens for his story arc only to realize they are actually aliens and they will kill him if they can ever get a hold of him. If there was a compliment I could give this flick it would be: This is a USA Up All Night flick if I ever seen one as I give this bad but fun movie 1 ½ stars.

 

Werewolf: The Devil’s Hound (DVD) – Another horrible werewolf film that just feeds the horror fan’s complaints about a good werewolf flick outside of “American Werewolf in London”, “The Howling”, “Ginger Snaps”, “Dog Soldiers”, and the original “Wolf Man”. Nothing redeeming about this boring flick as a werewolf is accidentally sent to a pyrotechnics company by mistake, breaks loose, and attacks anything nearby. If that wasn’t insulting enough the werewolf costume looks like a throw away costume from SyFy Channel’s exclusive film “Yeti”. First rule of making a werewolf film: Have good costume/effects! Second rule: Have money to make a werewolf film or should I say pull one off? I give this waste of space at the video store 0 stars.

 

The Street Fighter (VHS) – It’s 1974 and Sonny Chiba fucks a lot shit up! Including some dude’s ball sack! Sonny is a bad ass mercenary who is trying to protect a billionaire’s daughter. Along the way Chiba even takes on a whole dojo… That is just bad ass as I give this classic 4 stars.

 

Orloff against The Invisible Man (DVD) – The 1970 film has several names but none of them make the film any easier to watch as some scientist dude named Orloff has an invisible gorilla that rapes a bunch of women. Then he dies at the paws and vicious mouths of some German Shepherds! I give it 2 stars.

 

13 Eerie (DVD) – Katherine Isabelle and five other students are testing out in the field as part of their C.S.I. course. They are led out to an island by their professor and maintenance guy where a state prison and a small community have long been abandoned or they think? An extra body is found during student’s test and then disappears only to begin attacking the corpses that were left out for the student’s tests. Soon the small group of people realizes they are being stalked by possible human experiments from the old prison. Cool effects, lots of blood, Katherine Isabelle in another horror film, not your typical zombies, a little throwback to John Saxon’s “Zombie Deathhouse” which all equals that you need to go watch this direct to video horror flick! I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com or pick up a copy at our table at Horror Realm from us March 7-9th, 2014. Go to www.horrorrealmcon.com for more details on the convention.

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.