This website is dedicated to horror movies (independent and mainstream), beer, Full Moon, Spookies, Graveyard Shift, Leprechaun sequels, massacre films and watching every god damn horror film ever made or die trying!
On this episode we invite Patricia back on the show because we are terrible podcasters that keep forgetting to read her reviews. And she is bringing along a truly weird black magic kung fu flick KUNG FU FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. Also, Kyle attempts to right the wrong and cover one of the weirdest flicks to ever come out of Hollywood in the Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd monster movie/funhouse mash up NOTHING BUT TROUBLE. Tim talks about a real oddity from the 70’s that is a snapshot of van culture in SUPERVAN. And John rounds out this mega sized episode with a really great and timely post-apocalyptic flick THE LAST CHASE. We also chat about the newest Jason Statham jam, Kyle watches into the night for the first time, our favorite cameos, dangerous playgrounds and a whole lot more. We also answer your questions, run down what we have been watching over the last few weeks, and all the news that is fit to talk about. So download this episode or John Landis will drop a helicopter on your head.
Top Knot Detective (DVD) – This is a documentary about an oddity of sorts, a samurai series in the early 90s that became a cult hit in Asia and Australia. The series was only on for one year but in places like Japan their TV seasons run 50 episodes long so that are about 2 or so seasons in the U.S. The series is about a man doing a lot of walking and seeking revenge for his master (sounds like Kung Fu with Carradine). Full disclosure this wasn’t your typical series as this had a character dressed as a penis, giant robots, odd dialogue that shouldn’t be in the script or most times wasn’t, ninjas, horrible stunt work, and the show looked like something one of us weirdos would have found late night on public access. But you will find yourself only being more interested in this weirdness as the main star was such a joke in the industry but big bucks for the TV screen and all involved… Then it gets weirder when the main star is the main suspect of the murder of the head honcho who finances the show then escapes Japan dressed as a woman! One of the weirder things I have ever watch and I give it 3 stars just for that.
Amityville Poltergeist (DVD) – A low budget flick using the “title” of course for no apparent reason centers around a young man named Jim who is looking to make some cash. Jim finds a housesitting job for $100 a night for a weekend. He doesn’t have to do anything except maybe listen to the spooky warning from Grandma “to leave”. After a night or two Jim begins to experience some strange events and is unsure if he is dreaming or actually experiencing unexplained events. The film isn’t bad as much the filmmaker put a full film on screen? Feels more like a 20 minute short film than it would be a full feature as I give it 2 stars.
Special Bulletin (DVD) – A 1983 made-for-TV docudrama that starts off with local news coverage of a dock worker strike in Charleston, South Carolina but as the news coverage continues that early in the morning things take a strange twist? Cops arrive and someone is shot and from the local news media covering it moves in but they learn quickly this isn’t a worker strike but a protest by a Dr. Bruce Lyman. His protest with several others is on this boat wanting the government to disarm or he believes nuclear war will happen very soon. Lyman makes it clear in his plea he wants U.S. and Russia to disarm before they kill us all. Even though there is news coverage the government doesn’t take the protest seriously until Lyman guarantees it isn’t a hoax. Also if he does not get all the modules for the nuclear warheads in South Carolina he will dentate the small nuclear device they have? A wonderfully serious film like ‘Threads’ and ‘The Day After’ that I believe needs to be seen by many more than just a weirdo movie fan like myself to understand this subject matter is still very relevant. And let’s not forget there is a young Michael Madsen in here for a quick couple seconds as I give the film 4 stars.
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (On Demand) – The Warrens are back at it again as this film is set in July 1981 where an exorcism goes sideways. During the exorcism Ed Warren has a heart attack and the 18 year old Arnie who was there gets possessed and only Ed knows about it and wants to prove it once feeling better. Not too much time passes as Arnie becomes part of a murder but claims he was possessed and the Warrens try to prove this in the court of law. But even with Arnie in prison the spirit has followed him and continues to haunt him as he has been cursed by a Satanist. This path leads the Warrens down a path where they may have solved several other murders as a weird Satanist totem had been found at the scene of other murders that baffled police? The film is better than most paranormal crap out there but this entry felt more like a love story than the Warrens chasing demons and spirits as I give it 3 stars.
The Phantom Empire (Blu-ray) – A wonderful B-movie cast directed by Fred Olen Ray in what I believe took six days to finish this film where a woman looking for treasure hires a couple hacks to help lead her through a cave. Michelle Bauer as the hottest cave bunny ever, Robbie the Robot, horrible looking monsters, and an alien in S&M gear played by Sybil Danning await the group as they enter. I have reviewed this B-movie gem before but it has now got upgraded to Blu-ray! I thought the Blu-ray looked a little better and has the all the extras from the original DVD but I believe the newest thing besides the transfer might be the home movies of the location shoot? I also believe the commentary track is the same but it is something that I believe Indy filmmakers need to revisit just to listen to the knowledge Fred spews out on how to do things, rent stuff, casting, etc. More than ever this commentary of telling stories about ‘The Phantom Empire’ are so relevant and fun to hear as I give it 4 stars. The Blu-ray and DVD are very hard to find but the slightly upgraded Blu-ray can be found at www.makeflix.com .
Shoot (DVD) – A 1976 dramatic film with a solid cast where Rex and his four buddies are heading up to his cabin for a weekend of hunting. No animals but a nice day of hanging out in the woods but until they are about to start back when they come across another group of hunters across a stream. An odd stare and the shooting begins as one man wounded in Rex’s group and one dead for the group across the stream. Rex and friends debate the event for hours and whether they should go to the hospital, police, or nothing? After a night of resting on it they have a meeting to keep quiet but Rex cannot let it go so he investigates who died and if the other group reported it to the authorities? When Rex finds out it was just a hunting accident he convinces the group that the other group will want revenge and they got to beat them to the punch as they must go all-out war! A great “how far will he or they go in this case to be sure” kind of film as I give it 3 stars.
Cleopatra Jones (DVD) – Another must see Blaxploitation film from 1973 that has a woman Cleopatra Jones as a special agent who is helping the U.S. cracks down on drugs. She has just ordered one of the largest poppy seed fields in the world to be burned. But when she returns home Cleopatra has made an enemy in a big time drug dealer named “Mommy” who wants her dead for ruining her supply chain. But you don’t mess with Cleo when she has a car door full of guns even if you have corrupt cops on your side, Cleo has the great Bernie Casey on hers as I give this action-packed beauty 3 ½ stars.
Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies (DVD) – An experimental drug Quadoxin is being used on crops of a small town to hopefully help the crops flourish… but we all know that isn’t going to happen. After some bad luck between a dead drug dealer and his three young customers and a random monstrous zombie, they all show up at the local music festival. Now, a group of friends must try to survive the onslaught of zombies wanting flesh in this low budget feature. I wanted to like this film but it just felt very forced if that makes sense and plus I couldn’t stop comparing it to 1980s ‘Toxic Zombies’ as I give it 1 ½ stars.
The Superdeep (On Demand) – The Russian military gets involved with a secret drilling facility after some miners and a research team go missing. The small military force is led by Yury who wants his top dog Anya to get in there and get the samples to take to the surface for research that may help the Russians in the race with the U.S. When they arrive a scientist there has seen what was found 12 kilometers down and feels it should not be shared with humans… It should be buried. The team searches deeper into the facility trying to retrieve the samples and realize they are up against a killer fungus that could wipe out the human race. I like that it feels like the Russian version of ‘The Thing’ but felt it was too long and reminded me more of ‘Leviathan’ when it could have been so much more as I give it 2 stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
This week Kyle, John and Tim return to talk all about kinds of things, but first our movies. First is a fine example of a made for TV delights starring everyone from the early 80’s in ANTS. Then a real weird example of crazy hicks in the country doing crazy hick things in INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS. And finally Kyle finally finds a giallo flick that he can get behind in TORSO. We also have stories of plumbing woes, Kyle’s hometown completely shits itself as he has to chase meth heads out of a garage, and a cop solicits a 14 year old and local rape… all within a week. And we run down the usual topics of what we have been watching, news, and we answer your questions. So download this episode or meth heads will invade your garage.
We are back again and we are once again talking about 3 more strange and bizarre flicks. First John chats about a fine Truckersploitation flick starring Jerry Reed and Peter Fonda fighting the good fight in HIGHBALLIN’. Then Tim covers a movie about Ducky from NCIS runs afoul of some weirdo pooches in DOGS. And finally Kyle picks the newest Netflix big time jammy jam in ARMY OF THE DEAD starring Dave Bautista and his California Raisin looking head. We also talk about getting kicked off of Cinemageddon, Lost and broken hard drives, Tim finally finished us watching all the Witchcraft movies, and he is the worse off for it. Kyle’s talks of collecting VHS and the all-consuming fire that destroyed almost all of them. And we rundown all the news that was dropped; we answer your listener questions, and go through the flicks that we have been watching recently. And as a bonus Time puts the myths and theories of Pittsburgh when he goes head with Pittsburgh Dad. So download this episode or we won’t last another 100 episodes with John.
The Ninth Configuration (DVD) – For me and I believe who made this film this was more of an experiment or just a film for the film snobs more than your average viewer. A castle out in the Pacific Northwest is secret government project on the mentally insane as many Vietnam soldiers either lost their shit completely or were just faking it to get out of the war. A few years have passed since the end of the Vietnam War but there is still a few of these research places around. A new guy named Colonel Vincent Kane shows up with a new attitude on how to help the patients get over their troubles. Throughout the film we see several hilarious characters and there are a lot of famous faces involved with this project. But has things unravel story wise we come to learn more about Col. Kane and his history of how he got there. In the end for me it took a long time to get to the ending you see coming a mile away. Not to say it is bad but way too much build up for something you already knew coming. Again this is one of those movies if you are an average movie watcher it is probably best for you to keep moving if you are a movie snob or just love oddities like this existing it will be worth your two hours as I give it 2 stars.
Redwood Massacre : Annihilation (DVD) – Apparently the filmmaker got some bad advice and made a sequel to a sub-par massacre film that its star is bootleg tater sack Jason but anyhow ten years have passed (story wise) and someone has wrote a book about it. Tom Dempsey’s daughter disappeared ten years ago in the woods and with the legend of this weird mass murderer (never minds it was a deranged farmer in the first film) and his fruitless search he writes a book about the legendary killer. During a book signing an obsessed dude named Max visits Tom and shows him he has evidence that the killer still exists and where to search? Hey guess what Max is psycho (didn’t see that coming) and Danielle Harris also a daughter of Tom has every right to not to trust Max as they make their trek to investigate an abandoned military base where they find the killer’s lair. From there the movie only goes completely off the rails of being a government experiment and the filmmaker watching the ‘Friday the 13th’ remake with the bat cave and ‘Cabin in the Woods’ wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much before doing this lackluster sequel as I give it 2 stars.
Frogs (DVD) – I got bored and wanted to watch this so-called horror movie with mustache-less Sam Elliot from 1972 and see if it is still boring as hell? And yes it is! Pickett Smith (Sam Elliot) is a photographer who is taking pictures of garbage on a lake and this swamp when he is knocked out of his canoe by a couple of rich siblings. They apologize, get him dry, and force to come to a picnic for a rich fool who just bitches about all the frogs everywhere (who cares if you live in the middle of a FUCKING swamp). Pickett Smith believes something is up when the frogs friends begin to kill the family one by one as I give this boring flick 2 stars.
Curse of the Undead (DVD) – In this 1959 flick a little ahead of its time and an interesting idea where a cowboy vampire shows up in this western after the Carter family falls on hard times and might have to sell to an asshole Buffer. The cowboy vampire comes calling Miss Carter after she posts hiring a gunman for $100 to take out Buffer and his cohorts. But Preacher Dan is pissed and believes this isn’t right in the name of god and must fight the evil that is helping Miss Carter! The film has a pacing issue but if you get past that it is a fun horror western that a completely new at the time as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Miranda Veil (DVD) – We are introduced to a young man named Soren who is inspiring to be a serial killer out of Barstow, California because he is hearing a voice telling him “to kill”. After a failed attempt the voice continues to push until a young pretty woman named Miranda on her birthday weekend is spotted by Soren and its decided “she is the one.” Soren stalks his victim Miranda and kidnaps her out to the middle of the desert to play with her. Soren gets his kicks and the voice screams for him to do it and Soren slices Miranda’s neck open but that is where the movie really begins because after Miranda dies and Soren celebrates… it happens! Miranda is alive again and both are literally in a crazed confusion about it to the point Soren drives an axe through the skull of Miranda to kill her a second time and again she is alive! From here it becomes a trippy road trip movie as killer and victim eventually come to an agreement to begin their long trek back to Barstow. They try to understand Soren’s voice in his head, Miranda’s X-men ability of not dying, and where do they fit into this universe now? Along the way they meet a man in a bunny suit, a guy who talks to a fox, and Miranda talks to a ‘force’ in a cloak and an animal skull. I wasn’t a fan of the ending but this Indy film was definitely something different and that you cannot say that too often about a low budget film. Most likely you haven’t heard about the film because it is really hard to define what it is kinda is like a 1990 ‘Nightbreed’ thing but on a smaller scale. There is enough interesting and trippy shit happening with this project not including the ending that if this was made in the late 80s or early 90s I could easily see this as a “Midnight Movie” but those do not exist any longer. This movie might take a year or two to really find the audience to appreciate this project as I give it 3 out 4 stars.
Macon County Line (DVD)– A mid-70s film based on a true story from 1954 where we are introduce to two young gentlemen who are just causing trouble everywhere they go as I believe they are on their way to New Orleans. Along the way the gentlemen pick up an attractive lady and then their car begins to have a fuel pump problem. Not being able to get it fixed properly and the car dying in the middle of the night they decide they will “figure it out in the morning” but meanwhile two very shady criminals pull up to a home of a deputy. These two bad dudes rob the family home, torture, and kill the wife. When the deputy comes home he sees the car with the fuel pump problem he wants revenge against our two favorite drifting buddies who had nothing to do with that night’s events. The film is a little dull with the buildup but gets real interesting real quick when the deputy comes home to a bedroom full of blood and a dead wife as I give it 2 stars.
Moonshine County Express (DVD) – Imagine a 1977 movie with women as the main roles of ‘Dukes of Hazzard’ TV show? A lot familiar faces pop up as a moonshiner kills his competitor one morning in the mountains and blows up his operation. But the dead moonshiner has three vengeful daughters who were not left any money but whiskey from back in the day that shouldn’t exist. The daughters go into business just to undercut the jagoff that wronged their daddy and maybe make a few bucks for a fresh start somewhere. It is a bloody redneck war from beginning to end with John Saxon as a moonshine driver along for the ride as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Witchcraft (DVD) – This Lon Chaney Jr. flick is from 1964 and has the great actor as part of the Whitlock clan. The Whitlock clan’s graves are being bulldozed at the countryside cemetery that the Whitlock family has used for hundreds of years. Business partners are trying to move along progress and part of it is moving this old cemetery which sounds like a ‘Poltergeist’ prequel? Anyhow the Whitlock clan isn’t happy and one of the graves is for an undead witch that hasn’t been around for a few hundred years but is pissed because she has been disturbed. Now the notorious undead witch is seeking revenge by killing the persons involved one by one. The movie can be a little slow but has a creepy side to it even if it is over 50 some years old as I give the creepy little horror film 2 ½ stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
The Beast Beneath (DVD) – In a small town of Desert Valley, California an earthquake wakens its residents in the middle of the night with its shakes and simmers but nothing is thought of it. But this event has caused a monster to emerge from its slumber in the desert and it is time for the beast to snack on its new food source… humans! After a few people go missing the local authorities get involved and act like the disappearances are not that big of a deal but the mayor knows and wants it kept quiet. The beast is brought to the attention of a brilliant scientist (Brinke Stevens) and she is trying to work on a quick answer for the monstrous problem but when someone being attacked is caught on social media the mayor and police have no choice but to blow it up. The build-up of this low budget monster flick was a lot of fun and on par with what we used to get from SyFy Channel in the mid-2000s but the ending or non-ending was not the payoff I think viewers will be looking for as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Stale Popcorn & Sticky Floors (DVD) – Another cool documentary that covers some of the memorable grindhouse, horror, and B-movie titles from the 70s and 80s we grew up watching. There is interviews and stories from such stars of iconic films such as Lynn Lowry, Camilla Carr, Brinke Stevens, and a host of others. And people let’s not forget Frank Farel is on here telling more stories about one of my favorite films of all time ‘Spookies’! The doc separates itself enough from others as the stars tell stories about one film that was picked such as an ‘I Spit on Your Grave’. This title doesn’t come off as interviews as much as you the viewer just grabbed a beer with said star and you are ready for story time and for that I give it 4 out of 4 stars.
Cult of the Cobra (DVD) – A bunch of U.S. service men on leave pay a hundred bucks to be sneaked into a secret meeting to witness a woman who has the ability to change into a snake. To their disbelief she does but one of them tries to take a photo and a scuffle ensues and the service men attempt to kidnap this special oddity. She gets away and of course the men are all warned they will all die but they don’t care as their deployment is over and they are heading home for good. Some time passes by and the men settled into their homes back in New York not knowing the precious snake woman has traveled there to seek her revenge. One by one the men fall but the snake woman might be having a change of heart as one of the men has taken time to be very friendly with her let’s say as I give this mid-50s flick 2 stars.
Death Rink (DVD) – The film is set in the year 2001 at the “Roller King!” roller skating rink where Rachel the manager is hanging out with the younger employees for an impromptu birthday party. They play games, smoke tea bags, eat pizza, discuss the lawsuits against the roller rink, along with wondering who in the hell is the person or ex-employee that calls every night to yell “Satan” into the phone. Things are going great and the fun is starting to whine down as everyone wants to leave at some point including Rachel as her boyfriend finally called her back… But an unwanted guest has found their way into the rink while they close up shop. This unknown individual slowly kills the employees one by one. Everything about this movie screams I should love it. Now don’t get me wrong this isn’t a horrible horror film as it had a great cast, great dialogue, some blood, great location, but it all just didn’t add up to success for me as I thought this film could have pressed the gas and gone over the top? Instead I felt the film found a way to limp over the finish line in the end as I give it 2 stars.
The Earth Dies Screaming (DVD) – This is a quick mid-60s post-apocalyptic flick where one day people around the world all die at the same time except for a select few. After a small group of people find themselves holed up at a hotel they figure out they were not in the open when this all happened and believe it could have been a gas attack? To make matters worse generic alien robots walk and a “zombie pace” and cannot be killed by guns but their asses are no match for a jeep. And just when the humans thought they were screwed enough, “oh yay if you are killed by an alien they zombified your ass and control you.” The only hope is if these select few humans figure out how to stop these slow ass trash cans from taking over the world as I give it 2 stars.
Brimstone Incorporated (DVD/Vimeo) – An interesting low budget anthology film directed by Indy vets James L. Edwards and Brad Twigg. The three stories are straight forward serious horror stories which are usually hard to pull off in the low budget world but this crew did it as the titles are: First Date, Mama’s Boy, and Skunkweed. And the wraparound story is called Temper and Associates but we will get to that in a bit. Without spoiling too much First Date gets a little uncomfortable (watch for the kiss you’ll understand), second story Mama’s Boy is not exactly what you think it is which makes it a pleasant surprise, and the third story is about a man who may have been given bad weed? Or was it? But the most interesting thing was the wraparound story as these days seems to be a throw away in the Indy world in my opinion. But these fine filmmakers took a cue possibly from 70s British anthologies and made the wraparound their strength as a character from each story is being reviewed by Gregory to decide where they will fit in “down here or in the corporation”. The Gregory character was actually my favorite thing of the anthology but this film is based more on the great performances from the actors than just throwing gallons of blood and gore against the wall. This is an anthology I will be pointing out to people for years to come as this cast was one of the best I seen for an Indy anthology in years. So if you are looking for a great not subpar Indy anthology look no further than this new feature Mr. Edwards and Mr. Twigg as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Boys from County Hell (Shudder) – An Irish horror film where a small town called Six Mile Hill is the center of the story as legend goes Bram Stoker used the location to write his famous story. The local legend claims that the real Dracula story happened there as a landmark of stones marks the grave of the vampire or at least that is what’s been told for many years in those parts. One drunken night two friends strolling home from the pub fall into the landmark and one of them is speared by a farm animal. Nothing physical came from the grave but blood seem to disappear from the corpse. Eugene quickly understands he may accidentally set free the vampire legend on the small town and must now try to bury the bloodthirsty monster that doesn’t play by the usual vampire rules. Fun monstrous times to be had in this Irish treat as I give it 3 stars.
The Frozen Ghost (DVD) – A stage mentalist played by Lon Chaney Jr., has a skirmish with an audience member that he believes caused the man’s death. Retiring the act, trouble seems to follow the mentalist as while at the museum he gets in a tussle with someone who dies and believes he did it again. For me this wasn’t the best Lon Chaney Jr. of course for fans who just need something a little lighthearted you will enjoy this feature as I give it 2 stars.
Great White (On Demand) – Pearl Air Charters is a one charter plane business run by a sexy couple who takes people on tours of areas like “Hell’s Reef”. When on their latest tour they land so a couple can have a late lunch it is quickly spoiled by finding half of a corpse of the beach. The small group realizes someone could still use help out in the ocean they jump back in the small plane for a limited time because of fuel to search. They spot the boat and when they land on the ocean near that is when things go bad for the group and the suspense builds as they wait for rescue. With only the life raft the group must hope they can paddle back to the island before the sharks stalk and eat them for a snack! A lot of buildup in this film, think ‘The Shallows’ but with a few more people and trying to feel a little more like ‘Jaws’ as I give it 3 stars.
Bigfoot vs. Illuminati (On Demand) – An animated film I had so much anticipation for being a fun stupid film to enjoy and talk about. Instead I got a horrible boring dud. Many years into the future where the Earth is basically dead and humans are about to go extinct as they are at war with aliens. Humans only hope is Bigfoot who happened to listen to rap music way too much. Oh and Bigfoot tag teams with a Van Helsing clone… this was dumb as I give it 0 stars. I guess I need to stick with ‘Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper’?
Benny Loves You (On Demand) – Meet Jack, a 35 year old who lives with his parents and is a junior toy designer whose parents still celebrate Jack’s birthday as if he was a child. But this year is different as the parents die accidentally while preparing for his birthday. Nothing is going right for Jack so now alone he decides he wants to improve his life and this means getting rid of everything including his childhood toy that he still has. The toy’s name is Benny and doesn’t like it too much he is about to be thrown out but also wants Jack to be happy again? From here Jack is sent into a downward spiral of death and despair as anyone that comes to the home or Jack doesn’t like Benny slices and dices them. As the bloodbath ensues in a weird way Benny helps Jack get his job back with new designs based on Benny… The horror film is a wonderful insane oddity of gore that needs to be witnessed as this will be one of the best horror films I will watch in 2021 and for that I give it 4 stars.
Fulci for Fake (DVD) – A Severin Pictures biopic about a man about to dive head first into becoming the famous Italian filmmaker Lucio Fulci. In order to accomplish becoming the legend he must learn more about him and interviews several friends and colleagues of Fulci’s taking the viewer on a ride through stories of the beginnings of Fulci’s work. To of course what made Fulci a household name among horror movie fans as I give the documentary 3 stars.
Live Evil (DVD) – An old vampire hunting priest has his eyes locked on these four vamps that have run together for a long time now. The priest wants to slice and dice this group as he has tracked them everywhere at any cost. The group keeps moving around recently as humans more and more have tainted blood and the vampires fight amongst each other in the effort of finding “pure blood”. The vampires head to L.A. for a last ditch effort of getting pure blood from a dealer named Max. The vampire hunter is played by the legendary Tim Thomerson so imagine Jack Deth retired to become a priest who hunts vamps with a late 90s direct-to-video vibe. A fun watch with some gore and some audio glitches but well worth checking out this Mark Terry produced film that also has appearances by Tiffany Shepis, Ken Foree, and Elissa Dowling as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Feaster Sunday (DVD) – A not so typical independent holiday horror film where a man, Dr. Gideon Lear is putting forth his best effort to put on “The Passion” play at the community theater that hasn’t happened in twenty years. Lear wants perfection out of his actors as he explains in his recent interview with Eddie from the local Public Access Channel. Lear nor his actors seem to be too concerned with the history of the play as “the show must go on”. Meanwhile Eddie sees someone he knows among the actors, Tess, and they reconnect after Tess is dropped by her boyfriend Reen because he needs his full attention on playing Jesus. As time goes on actors for the play disappear, warnings for the play “not to go on” are ignored, and Dr. Lear begins his struggle to keep the production together. There is a whole lot of crazy going on in this flick that just made me giddy to watch! Wonderful casting choices (Dave Parker as the original Jesus, brilliant), great script, cool puppets, and a low budget production that felt bigger than it was should get some mainstream respect as I give this excellent production 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
This week Tim is on vacation so we called upon the only man who can solve all of our current race related problems T-SHIRT JOE! So firstly on Blaxploitation week John brings us SOUL BROTHERS OF KUNG FU, And Then Joe talks about a Bernie Casey jam called DR. BLACK AND MR. HYDE. And finally Kyle cools us out and chats about a tale of a racist white man played by genre staple WILLIAM SMITH trying to push drugs into a clean neighborhood in BLACK SAMSON. Along the way we talk about all the old time comedy duos we can’t stand, what is with all the recent anti-Asian hatred, Why Kyle now hates THE OUTSIDERS (except Estevez, that dude is harsh), We also cover all the news, Answer all your listener questions, and cover what we have been watching the last week. So download this episode or Bernie Casey won’t cure your bad case of Hepatitis at his Health clinic/thrift store.
This week Tim, Kyle, and John return to the fray to analyze another 3 more flicks. First Sonny Landham is a messed up Vietnam vet recently released from a psyche ward in FLESHBURN. Then John talks about a Mexican / American co production that is kinda like night of the living dead meets goonies with legendary actor Hugo Stieglitz as a Doctor Loomis type of dude in CEMETERY OF TERROR. And lastly Kyle picks a kung fu grindhouse classic that has a little bit of everything in RAW FORCE; INVADERS OF THER JADE TOMBS. Also we count down our favorite 5 stoner movies in honor of 4/20. More massacre and witchcraft movies. Bad plastic surgeries, the new Mortal Kombat movie, what we have been watching and we also answer all your listener questions. So download this episode or Prince Goro will try to murder your family.
Dogs (DVD) – The campus of Southwestern University just happens to be a site of a secret government experiment and strange things are starting to happen around the small college town. There have been some odd animal attacks and after a couple dead bodies a couple of university professors are trying to figure out why dogs are traveling and attacking together? Your normal household pet in a split second begins to go for the jugular is if summoned to do it! With each passing day dog attacks rise as the pack of dogs are growing and the professors fear if it isn’t the government these dogs could take over the town as humans must fight dogs to the death. It is a fun “when animal attacks movie” from the 70s that I never heard of before and was happy to sit and watch it. Interesting factoid besides this not being a TV movie flick is that there was a sequel planned called ‘Cats’. The ending even sets it up but this film did lousy at the box office so the sequel was scrapped immediately but don’t let that stop you from enjoying another 70s gem as I give it a solid 2 ½ stars.
Invasion of the Blood Farmers (DVD) – A weirdo early 70s ultra-low budget flick that takes place in Jefferson Valley where everybody knows each other including the sheriff’s deputy who sits at the bar all day drinking. Over the past few weeks a few people go missing which never happens and no takes too much notice until old man Jim falls into the bar a bloody mess and dies. Blood samples from Old Jim’s body have pathologists baffled on what exactly is the cause? But a couple of weird famers are snatching people up and harvesting human blood to bring their queen back to the living as they are controlled by a man called “the Lord Druid”. If you are into wacky horror fun like a ‘Motel Hell’ then this low budget affair is right up your alley as I give this fun mess 3 stars.
Torso (DVD) – Holy crap this Eye-talian sleazefest is from 1973 and about a masked man that is stalking college women in Italy and strangling them with his red scarf. After a death or two near the college a group of women head out to a villa discussing the murders for some ‘girl time’. But the killer follows them to the villa and has a bloody good time trying to hack them to bits! I am not a giallo fan but always willing to watch one and this always had me curious. If you take out the sleaze you can see the early 80s slasher formula a decade before we were seeing it on a regular basis here in the states as I give this film 2 ½ stars.
Water Wars (DVD-R) – Well it took a while to track this post-apocalyptic “Corman Presents” flick down as it stars Michael Madsen, a couple Playboy Playmates, and directed by Cirio H. Santiago with Jim Wynorski stepping in after illness. Supposedly finished in 2011 but never released until 2014 but I couldn’t find a physical copy for sale or the film on any streaming sites but as usual give me time and the movie will find me. Once you get past the filler (stock footage from several Filipino post-apocalyptic films that I believe takes up half of the film) water is the only currency of course. An evil warlord Bane is hell bent on tracking down a water source and believes there is springs of fresh water hidden in the mountains but can never capture anyone that knows where it is until now. A gun for hire named Slade is hired by a beautiful lady who claims to know where this spring is if he rescues her sister from Bane. Slade does the job but now Bane and his evil followers are coming to ravage the village but not Slade and his new lady bump uglies like they were in a freakin ‘Witchcraft’ film. This was a poor excuse of a post-apocalyptic film that I should have left buried but you know me as I give it 0 stars.
The Embalmers (DVD) – An exciting fresh filmmaker named Rebecca Rinehart has just released her first full feature that isn’t a straight up horror movie as much as something a little different… The film revolves around the “Quint” family who own a funeral home and been operating it in their small town for over a hundred years. The Quint family might be a little odd of how they do things but they have been dealing with the dead long enough that the locals trust them with their journey to rest in peace. But there are supernatural forces that are not there for the good of man and Cy is able to read minds besides having a connection with a little girl who wears KISS makeup all the time! Through this power Cy has figured out his family must put a stop to this evil force that has bodies piling up all over town. The film is very dialogue driven, with a splash of blood, and supernatural elements that don’t bludgeon you over the head. Now I would have liked a few minutes edited out to make it a quicker pace film but saying that I believe most of the dialogue is vital for the viewer to know what is going on. Overall Rebecca did a solid job first time out and has me excited to see what else she has up next for independent movie fans as I give this 2 ½ out of 4 stars. P.S. there was a weird thing that I noticed during one scene where Antwoine Steele is standing behind some shelves just waiting/not doing anything in the morgue and I am not totally sure why? Was it an editing error or a scene cut…? Again weird but doesn’t take away from the solid effort.
Marabunta (DVD) – Killer South American ants have been awaken near a small Alaskan town that just happen to have a volcano that may or may not be active. After some research from a vacationing scientist and a school teacher they believe the volcano’s recent activity is what awakens the ants and now the ants want to take over the town one section at a time. This cheesy late 90s flick stars Mitch Pileggi as the town sheriff but the film still doesn’t hold a candle to the 70s killer ant movies as I give it 1 ½ stars.
High Ballin’ (DVD) – If there was such a thing as “truckersploitation” then we found it starring Jerry Reed of course. Duke is a respected independent trucker who is bucking the system in a lot of truckers’ minds. But a trucking company called King Carol Cargo is pressuring him to join as quite a few Indy drivers have gotten robbed and almost killed by some masked bandits. With the help of a buddy in Peter Fonda the two are trying to outlast this company until Duke decides to retire but that isn’t soon enough for the cargo company. If you are old like me and enjoy ‘BJ and the Bear TV show’ and ‘Smoky and the Bandit’ films then you’ll enjoy a shitload of Jerry Reed and CB radio talk as I give it 2 stars.
Swarm (DVD) – This 2007 killer ant film has several titles including my favorite: Ants on a Plane, Destination: Infestation, and Deadly Swarm. Anyway on a flight from Colombia these bullet ants (very bad ass ants) hitch a ride inside the chest cavity of an asshole passenger and explode out of his chest once the flight is up and over the ocean. So with limited time and nowhere to go to land an entomologist and an air marshal must figure out how to combat these mutant ants before the government shoots the plane down before reaching US soil. This Canadian TV movie wasn’t too exciting but would have been a little more watchable if someone would have kept screaming “get these F’N ants off this mother F’N plane”! But we didn’t get that so I could only give it 1 star.
Willy’s Wonderland (DVD) – Nic Cage in a ‘Banana Splits Movie’ rip-off sort of… okay I am in! Anyhow Nic Cage is only known as “the janitor” throughout the film as he doesn’t utter one word throughout but does grunt once or twice while playing pinball. The man with no name is speeding on empty roads until he hits a police zigzag that punctures all four tires of his sports car. Gets a tow into town but only has credit, no cash. So the tow truck driver introduces him to Tex the owner of Willy’s Wonderland or a version of Chuck E. Cheese or whatever you remember it to be in your city many moons ago. Willy’s is a kid party center with animatronic band but actually serial killers dressed as the band who play music and kill families a decade or two ago. After the satanic ritual and many more deaths of those who enter the place was closed down Tex and others lure people here to please the things inside. So the janitor spends one night inside cleaning the place and his car will be fixed free of charge. The animatronic beings begin to play music but the janitor ignores, they begin to stalk him he ignores, they finally confront him and if it isn’t break time Nic Cage begins to massacre these evil beings and throws them in the dumpster. Weird, gory, Nic Cage, deals with the devil, lots of fun stuff but I still like ‘The Banana Splits Movie’ just a little bit more as I give this 3 stars.
Lycanimator (DVD) – A scientist is asked to give up his secret formula but instead of giving it up uses it on himself and murdering his family. Little time passes as we are introduced to a group of college-aged friends who are heading to the old Phillips home for the weekend and they are warned not to go into the basement. After they drink themselves silly and there is no alcohol left they go into the basement to find the formula believing it is booze. Jeff is forced to drink it and begins to bleed green but of course he becomes a super sex champ to bang his hot tatted up girlfriend May before transforming into a mutated melting werewolf ripping his friends a part. Honestly this film is a hot mess that only lasts 50 minutes (without credits). Kudos for you getting a Todd Sheets cameo, along with several other voice cameos, a cool creature, and the hot actress Cayt Feinics (awesome tattoos), but in my opinion this film had so much untapped potential especially with the mutating melted werewolf creature that never came to life as I give it 1 star.
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This week we have a “diet Tim” episode as his mom has banged up her ankle, but don’t worry he shows up later to talk about his and John’s continued journey to watch all the Witchcraft movies. But as usual we will be covering 3 more great flicks. First Kyle talks about a wild, wild, kung fu monster mash as it’s robots vs. monsters in INFRA-MAN. Then Tim talks about a very popular slasher in THE MULIATOR. And finally John picked a really good taxi cab revenge flick starring Robert Forrester and the very greasy Joe Spinell in WALKING THE EDGE. Also we chat about the continued shittiness of Charles Band, the greatness that is the Creepshow T.V. series, the recent episode of Joe Bob. And as always we read all the news, answer your questions and cover what we have been watching recently. So download this episode or we will shove a giant fish hook into your nether regions.
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