Gross Movie Reviews “Best of 2022” list

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(There were actually a lot of good films this year as many as bad films… Hell I literally could have done a list of “worst of 2022” but let’s stick with the best for now as there may be a surprise or two in there also as I made sure I listed the honorable mentions.)

1) Crimes of the Future (On Demand) – David Cronenberg, I love you for not giving up the fight of making something that people will have trouble ten years from now wrapping their brains around this wonderful piece of filmmaking. This filmmaker is one of a kind and he proves it again as he dives into body horror of the future where the human body is changing and of course the government wants to know why and track it. “Surgery is the new sex” and all comes back to human evolution and what is considered wrong as the film centers on two characters are performance artists who use their bodies in a unique way. But just when you think you have the film figured out it gets turned sideways… again. Try to review this without giving too much away for the mere reason I want people to see this and form their own opinion about it as I know there is a good chance this film will be in my ‘top three films of 2022’ as I give it 4 stars. Favorite quote of the film comes from Viggo as he says to Kristen Stewart, “I am not good at the old sex?” Watch it and you’ll understand…

2) Hack-in-the-Box (Dropbox) – Holy mother F’N balls kids! This perfect short film from Zane Hershberger (see me in person to listen to me destroy his name with my Yinzer accent) has four bad ass women preparing to take on an unknown demonic force from a music box. To their horror what comes for them they couldn’t have prepared enough! As this old school blend of ‘Evil Dead’ and “Empire Pictures” project would make a young Sam Raimi blush then sign Zane to a multi-picture deal to his production company! What is Hollywood’s loss is the independent community’s gain because Zane, the actresses involved, and crew behind them should be all Hollywood bound as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars and the early front runner on my “Best of 2022 list”.

3) Glorious (Shudder) – In the vein of finding horror films that have no right being this good I dare you to go watch what I believe will be in my “Top 5 films of 2022”. We are given the character Wes who is in a bad place in his life after a break up with the girlfriend. Confused, depressed, partying around a fire by himself at a rest stop off the highway, (I enjoyed the scene of him breaking his cell phone). Next morning Wes heads into the bathroom to take care of things which after he finds himself talking to an evil glory hole! Here Wes and a god try to hash things out about saving the world as we know it. The movie is so simple and fun you will be surprised how much you will enjoy this very smart horror film as I give it 4 stars all the way!

4) Deadstream (Shudder) – Shawn is an internet influencer who faces his fears and streams it. Immediately I am already annoyed this movie is gonna be dumb, lazy, and a waste of my time. But I was super wrong as Joseph Winter aka Shawn who is also a co-director and co-writer of the film plays one of the biggest douchebags in film perfectly. Shawn explains after some trouble six months back and losing all of his online sponsors he is back for one big streaming show. He is going to face his fear of ‘GHOSTS’ as he is going to explore and stay the night in a notorious haunted home called “Death Manor”. This will all stream live as Shawn goes through, set up cameras, and makes sure his fans call him out if he tries to flee the house. As Shawn sets up everything in the home he goes over the house’s paranormal history and the stories of those who died here. Shawn being the scared douchebag he is almost leaves several times from noises, etc. This is after he breaks a very important drawing in a closet and then runs into superfan Chrissy and this where this entertaining as hell horror film won me over big time as it takes another unexpected turn? Without spoiling too much the film finds a way to give you a splash of “Evil Dead”, talk cancel culture, a couple jump scares, give a wonderful hated douchebag character, and do a lot of kick ass practical effects!  Not only is this one of the best horror films of 2022 this makes me look forward to what Joseph Winter and Vanessa Winter have in store next for horror fans as they rock as I give this movie 4 stars and you will hear me talking about it again at the end of the year!

5) Bergeron Brothers: Wedding Videographers (DVD) – Well kids, if have not been introduced to BPO Films here is a good place to start as these people are just brilliant with their latest project. Two brothers who are amateur wedding videographers have decided to have a documentary about their business, how they prepare for events, training, etc., all in the hope of getting their name out there so their business can thrive. The film crew documents the hardships of these brothers living in a garage and how they train for their first big wedding event. But remember when starting a business it isn’t always successful at even if it means these brothers must face off with their nemesis Chad Johnson (who has everything, including someone’s fiancée, watch the movie you’ll understand) on a regular basis. This documentary/comedy is not just hilarious; it is downright fucking wonderfully entertaining! Literally “the hidden cameras idea” and “the shitting incident” had me still laughing after the movie was over. This project isn’t just a coming out party for these talented bastards (BPO Films) they blow the door off the movie world hinges to show they are to be taken seriously. The script is great, the story is hilarious, but what makes this project perfection in motion is the surrounding cast, all actors involved fit these characters in the film like a glove. Now that takes talent my friends as this is surely one of the best films you will watch in 2022 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. 

6) The Sadness (Shudder) – Honestly I don’t know if more can be said about this wonderful virus infection flick from Taiwan other than it will be on my “Best of 2022 list”. The pandemic is the backdrop and the virus has yet mutated again according to background news reports that like most of us we are not paying attention. But this mutation is different as those who are sick soon go into a fit of rage, rape, murder, and even a little cannibalism. As most of the population has lost its mind two young lovers try to navigate the city to find each other again! But what separates this “The Crazies” type of film from a lot of horror films is the violence, gore, the madness ramps up as the film goes along. When one crazy thing happens, give it ten minutes and you get to see something even more nutzoid! The film was wonderful, beautiful and played just right but funny thing and this is just me nit picking at shit but I can honestly say I wanted let’s just say a little happier ending without spoiling the fun? Anyway I still give this horror flick 4 stars and must see for horror fans this year. 

7) Curse of the Queerwolf (DVD) – This 1988 no budget film is about Larry who is just a normal guy who when he hangs out with his best friend goes screwing around with random women. Then one night Larry learns the hard way things are not what it all looks like when a transvestite bites him on the ass! Now Larry is losing his mind because he is having nightmares of wearing women’s clothes and physically changing. Luckily for Larry he almost kills a gypsy with his car and she tries to help him out because there is somehow a full moon every night. And if he doesn’t take her help he could always insert a silver sex toy to end the curse? First, this was one of those films I have always wanted to check out and finally had a reason too and so glad I did because it is so ahead of its time. Second, now saying that I can easily see people’s heads exploding when watching this film and taking it out of context? It is smart, funny, and entertaining as I give it 4 stars as this film should be more celebrated.

8) Accident Man (DVD) – Scott Adkins 2018 film and possibly one his best to date that has Scott playing a hitman named Mike Fallon who makes his hits look like an accident. Things are good for Mike as he is paid well to make things look like an accident until he gets a call about his ex-girlfriend has died but things don’t add up as Mike finds out a few details. Mike quickly looks into the death and finds not only was a hit put out on her but she was pregnant with his child. Blaming himself Mike wants answers but his teacher Ray Stevenson has always said “Don’t get involved”. Mike breaks this rule immediately and after several bad ass fight scenes finds out he has been set up and her hit was ordered by his boss Milton! This not your average hitman action flick and I dare you to watch and not say this isn’t possibly one of the best Adkins starring flicks out there as I give it 4 stars.

9) A Meowy Dark Timeline (www.SteveBuster.com) – So Steve Rudzinski fans, Steve continues to make entertaining content for his streaming service outside of his wonderful features as this one is a short five part series that involves all the characters you know and love. The evil emperor is in another universe and has found a way to conquer this alternate universe as it fights its way through several of Steve’s characters from past films. This is a project full of heart for all those people who nerd out over what the talented Mr. Rudzinski has created over the years. You will laugh, you might cry, but Steve knows what to give his fans when it comes to content. So you asked for it and Steve provides as I give this short series project 4 out of 4 stars for the mere reason finding a way to include everything and available at www.stevebuster.com or on Blu-ray at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

10) Hell of the Evil Dead (Blu-ray) – Rock Bottom Video who continue to produce smart and different horror titles for the Indy world to eat up has this fun project from a few years back that stars the talents of Brian Papandrea, Sadie Tate, and Nathan Rumler. This isn’t your ordinary feature as they go with a dubbed Italian version (regular English version is on the Blu-ray) to give the feature even more of a fun “Italian filmmaking feel” and it worked. Four friends go camping and stumble upon a graveyard out in the forest that after finding it weird things begin to happen: the path disappears, weird creature like sounds, and day turns to night without changing back. The four move deeper into the woods hoping to outlast or outrun this evil presence but things only get much worse when they find a trailer/cottage with a lone survivor to tell his story of what happened. Great acting, love the whole Italian dubbed thing as it gave the film a whole different feel to it, great pacing, and some good special effects work (head exploding). Indy fan don’t let the title fool you this film needs to be seen. Plus, there is a couple extras that include a disturbing “lost scene” from the film that needs to be witnessed (Thank you Nathan Rumler and Brian Papandrea for not taking yourselves too serious, that extra is glorious) as I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. (Rock Bottom Video can be found on Facebook)

Worst film of 2022

(Horrorhound and the people thinking doing another Jeepers Creepers flick should be ashamed of themselves. Also fun fact: Jeepers Creepers is the first franchise to have two entries into the Gross Movie Reviews “Worst Movie of the Year”)

Jeepers Creepers Reborn (On Demand) – AKA part 4 aka the biggest fucking turd of 2022 for horror movie fans! Yes look no further than this crap storm for “worst film of 2022”. Anyhow its 23rd day of the 23rd Spring of whatever who actually gives a flying farthole all you need to know the monster aka a horrible grainy Playstation online game has come to life! Once what could be a great monster is now a poor excuse for a reboot not once but twice with this one being propped up by lets say an “unnamed shitty convention” but lets stick with the crappy film. This time around a young couple traveling to an outdoor horror festival that celebrates killers is set near the ‘urban legend’ of the “Creeper”. Hell, for shits and giggles they claim the first three films are fake to help propped up this so-called pile of elephant shit! Anyhow winners of the “Creeperfest” win a chance at the ‘Creeper Escape room’ at that the legendary house. The only thing going for this monkey turd is the townsfolk is in on the “Creeper legend” but while all yinz whine about the newest “Halloween” flick just remember this already forgotten cartoon poo got shit out there in the viewing universe as I give it nothing and will be my pick for “Worst film of 2022!”

Honorable mentions – (A lot of cool flicks that you may have heard of but haven’t seen or a few that you never knew existed but wanted to put them out there for yinz… These are no particular order)

Amityville Christmas Vacation (www.stevebuster.com) – That famous holiday/horror/love story plot has finally come to the Amityville series (entry #39 for those who are counting) in the form of Steve Rudzinski’s (Caroushell 1 & 2 fame) latest project. A familiar character from the “Steve Universe or Meowy Universe” in the form of Wally Griswold has won a random Christmas vacation trip to Amityville! Wally arrives at a bed and breakfast in Amityville that is the “second most famous haunted house” where a ghost named Jessica kills all who stay there. But this time it’s different as it the happiest time of the year, it is Christmas! And Wally and Jessica are having the time of their lives this holiday season. But there is an evil plan behind all of this and none of it had a ghost and a clueless detective falling in love in Amityville on Christmas? Move over Mark Polonia, Dustin Ferguson, Thomas J. Churchill, and Shawn C. Phillips just to name a few as Steve gives not just an entertaining entry into the endless series but hilarious entertaining energy of a story that will make you laugh out loud a few times. Steve’s intelligence behind the camera and his extremely talented cast not just poke fun at the series but also give the never dying series a watchable entry for the first time in several years as I have to give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.    

Hell Van (DVD) – Jorge Delarosa spent almost five years and $5000 putting this passion project together.  If there is anyone that is talented enough to tackle Satanic shit in independent films and not get lost a quarter of the way through, it would be the talented Jorge Delarosa. The setting is a small town called Midway, Texas where everyone knows everyone. After a suspect accused of church burnings burns a church full of kids goes on the run and commits suicide in his van bizarre events begin to happen. Anyone that approaches or is connected to this possessed van die a very horrible death and only Sheriff Redhorse can stop this madness! Mr. Delarosa doesn’t just make a typical possessed car film but tackled it to the ground with such force that the film comes off as Mr. Delarosa shows off how talented he is behind the camera in all forms. We have explosions, burning people, eyeballs being ripped out, zombies, interesting characters you care about, chaotic satanic images to help tell the story, and the music is just the icing on the cake (music is usually forgotten in Indy films not understanding it can enhance the viewing experience). If you didn’t know what I already knew you will after watching this satanic blessing of filmmaking that Mr. Delarosa is an independent filmmaking force that needs more attention. And his latest film is a wonderful blend of Satan, horror, and blood without losing its way of telling a story as I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars as ‘Hell Van’ will be a favorite among independent horror fans for years to come. 

The Weirdsies (Blu-ray) – One of the last films from Indy filmmaker Chris Seaver in 2015 who now has turned to doing episodic TV for his You Tube channel did a disturbing parody of ‘Stand by Me’. A funny but yet disturbing adventure of four friends who want to lose their “V-card” during the summer. Their adventure is because they know about a dead body and the plan is to go to it and fuck the shit out of it because supposedly after death the male boner stays erect for 48 hours? (I wasn’t going to look this shit up but you gotta admit, real or not, that’s funny.) If that wasn’t enough there is a group of bullies that want to beat these four virgins to the punch by finding the body first to ruin a good time. And for just for extra spice there is about 40 second-rant about running into cannibal hipsters that I am still laughing about many days after watching. Chris Seaver: intelligent, dumb, or indifferent I was never a huge fan of his work but throughout his independent film career he does seem to surprise me with a project where I believe he shows off a talent that separates himself from just being average. As he proves one more time with this timeless funny adventure I give 3 out of 4 stars.      

The Black Phone (On Demand) – I enjoy being late to films and social media unless its “V.F.W.” remember who told you that film was bad ass but anyway I finally found myself watching this new Ethan Hawke (aka maybe the new Rutger Hauer?) film. The film is set in 1978 Denver, where a serial killer or kidnapper nicknamed the “Grabber” is grabbing kids under 18 years old over a several month period. Finney and his sister Gwen talk about it but don’t think about it too much until Finney’s best friend gets snatched and Gwen has a dream about where the kid might be? From there it isn’t too long before Finney is grabbed by the “Grabber” who wears several faces and keeps him in a soundproof basement. The “Grabber” is fascinated by Finney as he doesn’t play the games with him the other victims did as Finney begins to talk into a disconnected black phone where it is the past victims trying to help? I honestly wasn’t expecting much from this flick after watching the trailer and seeing what others have said but I got to say I was pleasantly surprised with this horror/thriller and definitely give it my approval to all of yinz to give it a watch as I give it 3 stars.

Helsinki Mansplaining Massacre (On Demand) – An interesting 15 minute short film concerning a couple who is in a car accident and rescued by a group of men. But rescued is used loosely here. These men’s egos bruise easily as they all believe men are superior and women are only good for housework and breeding. Now Essi is just trying to survive these morons and trying to escape a bad relationship. It’s hilarious, it’s fun, and relevant as I give it 3 stars.

Trash Removal (DVD) – Rising star Indy filmmaker Maddie Deering has had her latest released onto an anthology “Natasha Nighty’s Boudoir of Blood 2”. This fun short film has a group of individuals picking up trash in the woods near by an old chemical spill for community service. It doesn’t take too long for this boring day of community service to be interrupted by a killer trash monster! Hilarious characters get destroyed quickly by the cheeseball monster which this short film easily feels like a lost SOV title you would find on the dusty shelves of your favorite independent video store ‘insert name here’ in 1992 next to a “Cannibal Campout” or “The Slayer” where alphabetical order didn’t matter like in the one I went at that time! Fun times with Maddie as I give 3 out of 4 stars for this project that can be found on “Natasha Nighty’s Boudoir of Blood 2” at www.sovhorror.com .

Hellraiser (Hulu) – The new entry of the series has the puzzlebox, the chains, the music, the pain, the pleasure… okay horror kids I am in as this entry of the Cenobites went out there on a limb and gave fans what they wanted… “A one-off that made actual fucking sense, wasn’t non-sense, a piece of shit only done for movie rights issues, or had FAT PINHEAD!” Anyhow a woman named Ry still fighting her addiction to drugs accidentially begins to solve the puzzlebox and opens a doorway that scares her but also intrigues her of how this thing exists why people would be interested? After losing her brother to the box she become consumed with solving the box to bring him back as if you are able to go through all the phases you are able to “get an audience with GOD”. But while deep into this takes her and friends down a dark path of pain and pleasure they are not ready to experience… This is the best entry since Part 3 and it was nice it felt like it tried giving what fans have wanted for over two decades now as I give this entry 3 stars and hope there is more?

Werewolf by Night (Disney Plus) – First I believe this caught some horror fans by surprise this was made and taken seriously. Based on some comics this film takes a stylish approach of making it look old school which worked out well in my opinion from the actors to the werewolf itself. But the center of the film is the “Master of the Bloodstone” has died and there is a gathering of monster hunters to have a chance to lay claim to this stone which pretty much means royalty. Out of this group of death dealers if they survive and slay the creature that is in the maze they can lay claim to the stone but not all are who or what they seem as there is a werewolf among them. Who is the hero, who is the villain? It’s a fun quick 50 something minute movie that was a lot of fun for me to watch as I give it 3 stars.

Grand Samurai: A Warrior’s End (Extended Cut – Blu-ray) – So I felt it was time to sit down and watch Dan Komarek’s epic five hour film. Yes folks, “The Ninja Master” weren’t enough abuse knowing I would watch this bullshit this talented jagoff Mr. Komarek released this fucking shit! Anyhow I thought like most reviews I would try to give you the basics but not this epic film I thought I needed to share my notes as written when watching this thing last Sunday morning that led into my afternoon. Dan decided there needed to be a movie with more walking than ‘Lord of the Rings’ ever could film so eat your heart out Peter Jackson. Back to the film as it opens up very promising with this huge ‘Conan-esque’ beginning talking about a thousand years ago and now… then immediately let down with two dudes showing up on screen whatever their parents allowed them to wear that autumn weekend to shoot? You expect costumes, swords, huge swords… Nope, Dan laughs in the face of being reasonable. We get a little backstory between Paul and Lee which Paul has to train to become a samurai. Which first question that will hit your mind “Yinz know yinz are white more out of shape than I am?” But hey kids let’s not a bad idea get in the way of making a bad film as they begin to walk, then walk a little more, then walk a little more only to decide they will go on journeys for a sword and a tournament that isn’t really clarified but then walk some more. This is where Paul (yes there will be a samurai named… Paul) goes on his four or so hour journey movie time of training. If there isn’t endless narration be the Lee character aka Dan Komarek where he clearly had a tummy tuck at some point between filming there is more walking and what I feel was an hour of “In Memoriam” segment for someone I don’t know? But then it got real interesting when ‘real time filming’ by Dan Komarek happens as he films himself basically taking a spill into a raging river when misjudging some rocks to cross it just to do a random sword fight scene oh excuse me a stick fight! At one point during the first hour or two of walking it seems like the camera isn’t filming as much as stalking the Paul character who by the way is still training and looking for his friend Lee. Then when Paul cannot go any further he drops to the forest ground to start humping the ground which I read into the subtext of ‘humans raping the world’ but that can be debated another time. But hey did I mention there is a book on how to be a samurai that is introduced into the film an hour in as when approaching the 75 minute mark we get the ‘final fight’. Why do I know this? The characters only announced this several times as they try and I mean try to somersault their way off of picnic benches. But just shortly after if not paying attention we do gets bootleg Richard Moll from “Sword and the Sorcerer” sending Paul yet on another quest for a sword. So about 88 minutes they are informed this sword they are on a journey for is a sword for a tournament to end all tournaments and we haven’t even gotten to the first one. If you need a laugh the scene ends with the neighbor’s dog attacking someone off screen in the background. So as they keep walking again the two find a village where they sleep for a month (don’t ask) again this leaves the Paul character alone as he mourns for his heterosexual life mate Lee. Then there is more walking… inner monologue… more walking… Paul walks through all four seasons through the same patch of woods. Then 129 minutes in Paul gets fucked up on a snowy tree stump and instead of Dan putting down the camera he still films Paul now limping instead of walking, clearly injured… (but, it’s for the art man!)  Literally that was the point I waiting for the Benny Hill music to start as it followed a limping Paul through the snow. After more walking about the 145 minute mark we get to hear Dan Komarek directing the movie while doing a couple lines of dialogue in the mouth of a cave or I like to think a sewer pipe? With more walking comes more training and at the 165 minute mark I begin to wonder if the journey isn’t for a sword but for the two come to grips with their love for each other? I come to this conclusion as the two come to a beach in their long journey and gazing at each other while plotting on them doing more walking through the woods. Which shortly after this the filmmaker has the balls of putting an intermission in, DUDE, how about ending this fucking movie already! After regretting that there was an intermission our heroes at the 170 minute mark are back from their love fest at the beach and most likely smoking weed only to walk more. They keep saying they must finish the journey so of course there is more walking this when I notice and have come up with a drinking game those three people like me who crazy enough to watch this film to completion. Now for yinz three paying attention: every time Paul has his ninja suit on or putting it back on, drink a beer for every different shirt you see the Paul character wearing underneath? You will be drunk and that is better than watching this film again, again anyway, nine minutes I am completely convinced the film has nothing to do with samurais but two young dudes taking the long way around of just saying they love each other but just cannot find the courage to say it. At the 191 minute mark after walking more Paul lays on the ground and looks to the night sky accepting he will only be complete with his life partner Lee who has disappeared again. Finally about the 215 minute mark we finally are getting to the climax of the film as a horrible unfinished fight scene happens as minutes later Paul loses Lee as he was killed by a Chevy Corsica fender they randomly found in the creek they ran across. More walking happens and at the 248 minute mark is when Paul and Lee (who has died twice, I think) are reunited and receives the sword which the fuckers never get to be in a tournament! And what is this fucking Dan Komarek ends this fucking “EPIC” with a ‘to be continued’… WTF dude! Dan I love you brother, I think you are a fine editor and cinematographer but stop digging this absurd bullshit up and make something new. You have the talent to do it so give me a break as this epic is epic I cannot even give it a rating as much dare someone to watch it all the way through like I did so I am not the only psycho.

Terrifier 2 (Theater) – Art the Clown is back and brutal as ever but after doing some laundry and mysteriously reappearing after the end of the first film Art is back on the street stalking victims. The filmmaker absolutely keeping Art a mystery is able to expand the clown’s universe but never really explaining it. Meanwhile, Jonathon and Sienna have lost their father recently and Jonathon has recently become obsessed with Art the Clown while Sienna is just trying to get out being normal. This sets up a wonderful family interaction but also a weird connection between Art, the murders, and (spoiler alert) Art being some kind of supernatural cannibal! I loved the first film and this one did not disappoint in its brutality and gore but what I think holds it back just a tiny bit is its 2 hour and 18 minute running time as I can only give it 3 ½ stars. Honestly wasn’t thrilled with the film minutes after watching it but I let set in and I love it just didn’t need the “Avengers cut”?

Blood, Guts, and Sunshine: The History of Horror Made in Florida (Blu-ray) – A documentary that tackles the rich history of independent filmmaking in the state of Florida and how it has produced several Indy gems over the years from several talented individuals. Sean Donohue puts together the usual great doc that talk: Creature from the Black Lagoon to Bob Clark to Tim Ritter to Stanley to H.G. Lewis to Joel D. Wynkoop. Donohue is able to give the world a lot of inside stuff most fans may not know about and like most documentaries they can start to repeat conversations if left long enough but just when you think it’s over? It isn’t and it is actually kind of a shock about 80 or so minutes in at what one person’s opinion of the Florida filmmaking scene is… I give Mr. Donohue credit for leaving this in and getting others comments about this after it is said. As usual to some Sean and company might be an acquired taste among horror fans but to me they are some talented people down there in that sunshine state as I give this documentary 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Christmas Bloody Christmas (Shudder) – Oh “VFW” dude (Joe Begos) is back! And this time horror fans get a horror holiday treat where Tori and her employee/longtime friend Robbie have had one hell of a day at the record store on Christmas Eve. Now it’s time to party and hang with their two friends down the street at the toy store to party a little but that is where the happy holiday celebration ends… The realistic robotic Santa Claus that greets you at the store doorway is being recalled for malfunctioning. See these robotic Santa’s were used as military weapons for the government and they are going back to their original missions which why the recall. When it comes to life it is complete chaos for Tori and the sleepy little town as it becomes a combo of “Terminator” and “Class of 1999” meets Santa Claus! It starts a little slow but I get it as Begos and crew like actually telling a story where you care about the characters but it eventually becomes a gory holiday mess of a film! I might not be as good as “VFW” for me at least but I still give this holiday horror 3 ½ stars.

Look out kids another episode of the podcast Bloodbaths and Boomsticks has dropped!

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This week we have 3 more movies to converse about.  First what happens when Johnny Depp dies, becomes sentient A.I. and downloads himself onto the internet?  WORLD DOMINATION of course in TRANSCENDENCE.  Then we have a true gem.  It’s a violent, very Canadian version of Assault on Precinct 13 in SIEGE featuring a young Philadelphia Collins (BAMMMM!)  And finally we have DEADSTREAM where a you tuber grabs a camera and films some creep stuff inside an abandoned house,  but this time it does not  suck (I’m looking at you Dashcam)  We also cover what we have been watching,  the latest news, and we answer all your listener question.  So download this episode of The Mustard Tiger will lay waste to your home (Pew.pew.pew)

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #580

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Class of 1999 (Blu-ray) – Time for a revisit as this film got a very cool “Vestron Blu-ray release”. It’s the future and schools have gone to hell… Remember the film was released in 1989/1990. But imagine if “Escape from New York” took over a school and its surrounding community. Gangs have taken over everything and the school system is looking for answers in what to do next and Bob Forest played by Stacey Keach has an answer. He introduces the principal (Malcolm McDowell) of this high school to three new teachers played by Pam Grier, Patrick Kilpatrick, and John P. Ryan and they just happen to be androids! Androids built for the ten year war in South America and funded by the Department of Defense. Meanwhile, Cody has just been released from prison and just wants his old gang to leave him alone so he can attend class and not do hard time. Soon Cody’s curiosity gets the best of him when one of the teachers kills a student when a gun is pulled. He learns they are androids and they are beginning to do what they were built for and that is to kill in this awesome Sci-fi action/horror flick. The film is a sequel to “Class of 1984” but not many give two shits about that as it stands on its own with the wonderful cast, cool effects, and crazy storyline… These days the storyline isn’t too far fetch as I give this cool film 3 ½ stars, but there is more. Great commentary from filmmaker Mark Lester, lots of fun interviews with those behind the scenes on this great film and you get to learn info like this film killed Vestron! Actually it didn’t but apparently after this film went into production Vestron had all kinds of issues. I love it as this film always holds a fun cheesy spot in my heart.

The Banker (DVD) – I knew this film had some quality to it as soon as our introduction to Robert Forster’s character Detective Jefferson is living in a treehouse with beer cans falling out of it. There are brutal murders of high priced escorts happening and South American symbols are being left at the scene of the crime. It doesn’t take long for Jefferson to figure things out but he cannot arrest the high-end financial advisor Osborne aka Dracula from The Monster Squad! It is Osborne’s belief that this culture he found and follows is all about “Domination of women and the return of the hunter” or I like to bill this film ‘that guy that killed a giant alligator vs. Dracula from Monster Squad’. Is it the best of the serial killer films, no way, is it fun if you look at it the way I do, yes, and for that I give it 2 ½ stars. Oh if needed there is five sex scenes in this that would make “Red Shoe Diaries” blush with one including of my favorite porn stars Teri Weigel!

Trash Removal (DVD) – Rising star Indy filmmaker Maddie Deering has had her latest released onto an anthology “Natasha Nighty’s Boudoir of Blood 2”. This fun short film has a group of individuals picking up trash in the woods near by an old chemical spill for community service. It doesn’t take too long for this boring day of community service to be interrupted by a killer trash monster! Hilarious characters get destroyed quickly by the cheeseball monster which this short film easily feels like a lost SOV title you would find on the dusty shelves of your favorite independent video store ‘insert name here’ in 1992 next to a “Cannibal Campout” or “The Slayer” where alphabetical order didn’t matter like in the one I went at that time! Fun times with Maddie as I give 3 out of 4 stars for this project that can be found on “Natasha Nighty’s Boudoir of Blood 2” at www.sovhorror.com .

Day Shift (Netflix) – A solid action/vampire flick starring Jamie Fox as Bud Jablonski pool cleaner aka vampire hunter. Kicked out of the hunter union Bud is forced to take what he can get for vampire teeth. Problem his daughter needs braces and tuition for that private school she attends and he begs for one more chance to be in the union because that is where the money is. Shitty villain… but lots of fun characters that include Scott Adkins and Snoop Dog as the most respected vampire hunter and ladies’ man in town which helps the film get over its shortcomings as I give it 3 stars.

Misty Darkness (DVD) – A lost Todd Sheets project from 1987 or 1988 who really knows but it has finally gotten its release. Honestly this is one of the first films listed that Todd Sheets made and from the get go it is clear this is the late 80s with the various clothes, parking that is cheap in the background, and the cars you couldn’t fake on any budget. Anyhow, a group of so-called friends or people Todd knew at the time head into a haunted attraction called “Misty Darkness” for a night of scares. Doesn’t take long for the group to be slaughtered and turned into zombies to do the bidding of a demon that has locked the group inside. The demonic presence sports a leather jacket, a sword, and looks like a young bootleg version of 42nd Street Pete! If you are an SOV fan you’ll love seeing a young Todd Sheets and will want to own this gem as the DVD does have a commentary and a quick behind the scenes segment as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

Glorious (Shudder) – In the vein of finding horror films that have no right being this good I dare you to go watch what I believe will be in my “Top 5 films of 2022”. We are given the character Wes who is in a bad place in his life after a break up with the girlfriend. Confused, depressed, partying around a fire by himself at a rest stop off the highway, (I enjoyed the scene of him breaking his cell phone). Next morning Wes heads into the bathroom to take care of things which after he finds himself talking to an evil glory hole! Here Wes and a god try to hash things out about saving the world as we know it. The movie is so simple and fun you will be surprised how much you will enjoy this very smart horror film as I give it 4 stars all the way!

The Pursuit of D.B. Cooper (DVD) – A what if after the event of D.B. Cooper jumping out of the airplane over Colorado with $200,000 one November day 1971. A mystery that has fascinated people since it happened got a movie ten years after in 1981 with a great cast that had Treat Williams as Cooper who after landing in the mountains goes back to his wife. From there he convinces her to run to Mexico and enjoy life but Cooper’s former military commander now insurance man is hot on his trail. A fun early 80s cat and mouse flick that would be great if you double feature it with “Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper” and just check your brain at the door for some fiction injected into the mystery as I give it 2 stars.

We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (DVD) – A film that literally has a webcam recording a lonely teenager Casey who takes an online challenge and documents or believes some changes are happening? What helps feed into her believing something is happening is her conversations through Skype with creepy dude about the history of this challenge and his so-called concern. Now saying that honestly folks this film wasn’t made for me as it isn’t terrible or great. The film’s shelf life has up already! Folks all this film is something that you could do in 30 seconds of just randomly watching or falling down a wormhole on YouTube. To me this film isn’t special; I mean people did yinz all forget “Slenderman” or the hundreds or thousands of other internet challenges stupid people have paid way too close attention too? Also this film is literally made for the 13-17 age group which you immediately lost as soon as they click on a different app, start texting, etc. So when it comes down to it this project falls into the category “was it an actual film?” Movie watchers if you are looking for something actually creepy and I think still relevant I give you two words, “Hard Candy”. Enjoy being uncomfortable… in the meantime I give this film zero stars.

Trepanator (DVD) – Need more ‘Re-animator’ in your life? I give you this 1992 French horror rip-off where Dr. Herbert East takes over where his father left off years ago doing experiments with human brain transplants. After a young boy is ripped from his father’s hands years ago and sent to the U.S. he grows up to be Dr. Herbert East where he is trying to make his experiments a success in order to help pay his uncle’s debts for the clinic. Herbert East’s biggest issue is rejection, if he can conquer this then the experiments will be a complete success including a small “Maniac Cop” rip-off. A bloody hilarious rip-off as I give this horror experiment 2 ½ stars.

The Last of Sheila (DVD) – A feature film that is a murder/mystery from 1973 that if you are looking for something to cleanse your film watching brain is absolutely brilliant. Apparently the story of this film comes from one of the writers Anthony Perkins… yes that one who said their scavenger hunts and games him and other celebs played in the late 60s and early 70s inspired this project. The film is littered with 70s star power! But our film begins with Sheila, a beautiful woman who rushes out of a party one night after an argument. She has the misfortune being a part of a deadly hit and run. One year later her husband Clinton (James Coburn) being a twisted son of a bitch gathers friends and people who he is going to have in a film about his wife on his yacht for a week of games and partying. All involved have their own backstory and part of the game they are playing each night taps into that. Each night there will be a different quest and each will learn a new clue or secret about each other but about halfway through the film their host Clinton is murdered and adds a whole new layer to the mystery. If you are a fan of “Clue” the game or film you’ll wanna grab the popcorn and lay your eyes on this older feature because it is laid out wonderfully as a great “Who dun it?” A great way to spend a rainy night for two hours as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

We dropped three new Bloodbaths and Boomsticks episodes … finally!

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We return and this week we have more movies and madness to talk about.  First watch Joe Don Baker crash cars and make out with Susan Sarandon in CHECKERED FLAG OR BUST.  Then a movie only Tim Gross could find in DISGUSTING SPACE WORMS EAT EVERYONE. then we chat about a movie that is a truly hidden gem in 2020’s THE CURSED.  And finally we have to talk about this week’s installation in the Amityville saga in AMITYVILLE DOLLHOUSE.  We also get into what we’ve been watching, Kyle’s total addiction to Elden Ring.  Misty Mundae and her lousy movies.  And a whole lot more.  So download this episode or all your Cinemax soft core skin flicks will be deleted off your hard drive.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This time we return and we are bringing even more genre treats with us.  First we have the Shaw brothers bringing you a weirdo guy in a rubber suit monster mash in THE OILY MANIAC. Then it’s a made for TV. jam in MIDNIGHT OFFERINGS.  And finally DOCTOR SLEEP… because Kyle wanted to make 2 guys who hate the original Shining watch the sequel.  We also have many discussions about the proper freezing methods when it comes to your snacks.   Bruce Willis and his unfortunate illness. and everyone watches the new Spider Man flick.  We also read the newest news, rundown what we have been watching, and as always we answer all you listener questions.  So download this episode or Doctor Strange will banish you to the mirror dimension.

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IT’S JOHN’S BIRTHDAY… And we are celebrating by doing the same old same old show.  As always we have 4 more flicks to talk about.  First we have an Ed Wood flick that was requested by listener Jody in JAILBAIT.  Then we have a slimy slime filled in BIO-SLIME.  And a really great 2020 jam in CENSOR.  And this week’s installment in the Amityville saga is Amityville Haunting.  Also we chat about the many ways to get and or avoid pinkeye.  Middle age poop flingers, Skyrim and Kyle’s addiction to Elden Ring. And Tim and Kyle run down their trip to Cinema Wasteland.  And as always we read your listener questions,  read the news, and rundown what we have been watching this week.  So download this episode or you’ll take an arrow to the knee.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #575

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The Stuff (Blu-ray) – Honestly what else can you says about this mid-80s classic that has yogurt eating people and taking them over “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” style! The movie looks wonderful all cleaned up but the hook for collectors will be the over 50 minute interview with Larry Cohen discussing actor choices for the film and others that were a part of the film talking about their experience doing the picture. This is a must buy as I give it 4 stars all the way and yes they even show the deleted commercials for “The Stuff”.

Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge (Blu-ray) – This somewhat forgotten 1989 horror film is a “Phantom of the Opera” if it was a slasher film in a mall that takes place over July 4th weekend. The film stars Ken Foree, Morgan Fairchild, Tom Fridley, and Pauly Shore (first movie appearance). If it helps I absolutely love this movie but also make fun of it constantly when watching it. I have always done it since I found this film in a video store in the early 90s. Anyway, a man named Eric breaks into the new mall and sets up his underground lair and kills anyone that gets nosey or gets too close to his girl Melody. But the two haven’t been together for the past year as a suspicious fire tears the two a part and it is believed Eric is dead. Now Eric just watches Melody from afar but things change when the man that killed Eric’s parents and tried but failed to kill Eric so they were able to move on with the planned mall. The bodies pile up but not a lot of gore in this as Eric goes bad in order to get what he wants in the same mall that “Chopping Mall” was filmed at! The Blu-ray has a bunch of little interviews, two commentaries, but the highlight is the original writers just tearing the movie a part and bitching about Hollywood, a must own as I give it 4 stars.

Vampires of Sorority Row (DVD) – This terrible attempt at a horror film is well worth seeking out for laughs as Cindy has escaped the trailer park and the vampires that try to get her there. Cindy is enrolled in college and she is one of the pledges for Alpha Beta Gamma, she must gather a hundred pledge points in order to be initiated into the sorority. But Lori a past Queen of the sorority who now is a vampire has made her return and wants to turn the new pledges into her minions by biting them in the ass! Cindy and the other pledges must decide: be a vampire or fight them off? This independent film is bad on so many fronts I do not know how I haven’t heard of it before because now I want everyone to witness the carnage as I give it 0 stars cause its crap but for the love of Rutger Hauer it was somehow entertaining crap?

Crimes of the Future (On Demand) – David Cronenberg, I love you for not giving up the fight of making something that people will have trouble ten years from now wrapping their brains around this wonderful piece of filmmaking. This filmmaker is one of a kind and he proves it again as he dives into body horror of the future where the human body is changing and of course the government wants to know why and track it. “Surgery is the new sex” and all comes back to human evolution and what is considered wrong as the film centers on two characters are performance artists who use their bodies in a unique way. But just when you think you have the film figures out it gets turned sideways… again. Try to review this without giving too much away for the mere reason I want people to see this and form their own opinion about it as I know there is a good chance this film will be in my ‘top three films of 2022’ as I give it 4 stars. Favorite quote of the film comes from Viggo as he says to Kristen Stewart, “I am not good at the old sex?” Watch it and you’ll understand…

Blood in the Water (DVD) – The British version of Jigsaw shackles a group of people who have done some bad things in their lives in the pool house so their pet shark can come out and munch on them. Dumb shark idea #6099, as I give it a ½ star just for making me watch it because of a shark eating people in a pool house.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (On Demand) – Nic Cage plays Nic Cage as he gets caught up between U.S. government agents and an arms dealer whose cartel has just kidnapped a young woman recently. Nic Cage fakes until he makes it for the money until his family gets involved and he must actually save his real family before they are all killed by the cartel. This film doesn’t work with any actor other than Nic Cage as he mocks himself but is super entertaining at the same time showing off why people are so intrigue with his ability as I give the film 3 stars.

Curse of the Queerwolf (DVD) – This 1988 no budget film is about Larry who is just a normal guy who when he hangs out with his best friend goes screwing around with random women. Then one night Larry learns the hard way things are not what it all looks like when a transvestite bites him on the ass! Now Larry is losing his mind because he is having nightmares of wearing women’s clothes and physically changing. Luckily for Larry he almost kills a gypsy with his car and she tries to help him out because there is somehow a full moon every night. And if he doesn’t take her help he could always insert a silver sex toy to end the curse? First, this was one of those films I have always wanted to check out and finally had a reason too and so glad I did because it is so ahead of its time. Second, now saying that I can easily see people’s heads exploding when watching this film and taking it out of context? It is smart, funny, and entertaining as I give it 4 stars as this film should be more celebrated.

Jurassic Shark 2: Aquapocalypse (DVD) – Another no budget shark film from Mark Polonia where he and the usual suspects are set on an oil rig that has drilled into some kind of frozen pocket undersea. Now the 50 million year old bad CGI shark is under constant watch so the company can continue their drilling no matter what. Doesn’t take long for the shark to attack the drill and start killing random people in this poor excuse for a shark movie as I give this film 0 stars.

Hard Knuckle (DVD/YouTube) – I dug deep into the post-apocalyptic bag of movies to find this Aussie T.V. flick from 1987 that stars ‘Goose’ aka Steve Bisley from “Mad Max” aka Harry who is looking for a pool game. See pool is a less violent way to settle things in the post-apocalyptic world but you can lose a pinky. All Harry wants is his bike back from a former pool buddy but he needs to hustle for money to get into the big game. The movie is okay but not as fun as the post-apocalyptic flick where Rutger Hauer and others are playing with a dog skull in some kind of weird primitive football but anyway I give this 2 stars.

My Lovely Burnt Brother and His Squashed Brain (DVD/YouTube) – Holy shit folks strap in for this Eye-talian no budget flick from the late 80s where a woman tired of people making fun of her at her job and tired of her deformed brother. Which be warned people her brother Bernie wears a KKK mask for a bad joke…? Anyway she decides to shoot her brother up with her urine and the weird thing it turns her brother into a zombie that she can control for her bidding! So why not have Bernie slaughter the people she doesn’t like? Weird and crazy shit pretty much explains this train wreck of a mess as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

New episode of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

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This week we reassemble to chat about 3 more flicks that we have hand-picked for your viewing pleasure… or pain.  First we have what Kyle was going to a flick about a killer waterslide but turns out to be a much different movie in AQUASLASH,  then we cover an oldie but a goodie in John’s pick THE MONSTER OF PIEDRAS BLANCAS,  And finally the only slice of Evelsploitation known to man in VIVA KNIEVAL.  Was also yammer on about the ins and outs of being “woke” in today’s polite society and Kyle’s complete lack of understanding of this.  Why not to write a book about Evel Knievel, The new Batman joint. And a lot of other off the cuff topics.  And as always we rundown what we have been watching this past week, we answer your listener questions, and we read all the made up horror movie news that bloody disgusting decided to make up this week.  So download this podcast or a 70’s stuntman will bash your skull in with a baseball bat.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #572

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Gross Movie Reviews #572

The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (Blu-ray) – Many people also know it as ‘Let Sleeping Corpses Lie’ but that doesn’t stop it from being a popular zombie flick among horror fans. George an antiques dealer heads out to the country to get away from people and industry for the weekend but that is thrown into chaos when a ditzy woman named Christina backs over his bike. Together the two head out to Christina’s sisters’ place. Things go bad when Christina cannot stop talking about the beast that came for her. The two arrive to find the sister in hysterics and the husband dead and the detective believes “the damn hippie”, George, is capable of doing the dirty deed. Now the two must stick around for the investigation but after some of their own research George believes it is the ultra-sonic radioactive device being used experimentally to kill parasites on a farm is the cause. Got some gore, got some unstoppable zombies, and we got a cop that always believes the hippie did it so I am in as I give the film 2 ½ stars but 4 out of 4 stars all the way for Synapse Films going all out giving UK zombie fans an absolute pristine Blu-ray. The film looks beautiful, super colorful and it is like watching it for the first time again… Synapse made sure to pack this disc with a couple commentaries, a documentary on filmmaker Jorge Grau along with a few other goodies that will make you happy you made this purchase so go to www.synapse-films.com for your copy now.

Studio 666 (On Demand) – So The Foo Fighters are working on another album but have hit a snag? It is their tenth album and they are feeling pressure from their manager to make this happen but Dave Grohl and company haven’t got anything on paper. The manager super-hot with their pissing around sends them to a known haunted house in Encino, California to actually work on the new album. They all agree it has a great creepy death vibe but think nothing of it until weird things begin to happen and their roadie is killed while hooking up equipment. Meanwhile trying to continue on and Dave having writer’s block he does find the basement where he finds a bad ass never finished track from the band “Dream Widow”. He quickly becomes possessed and is determined to finish this epic song which will be the whole album! There are demons, possession, talk of Satan, great music, humor, and who would have guessed that Dave Grohl can actually act? Now I won’t go “one of the best films of 2022” but this was a lot of fun and a pleasant surprise for horror movie fans as I give it 3 stars.

Feeders 3 (DVD) – Mark Polonia dips into the Polonia Brothers archive to make the ‘Feeders’ franchise a trilogy. These two Indy cult films were from the mid to late 90s starring the brothers and Jon McBride and have garnished some fanfare from Indy collectors as some of the most fun films you could see? Well, 25 years later and the aliens have returned to harvest humans as the usual Polonia cast all make an appearance including “a photo and footage from the past two films of Jon McBride” (that was a nice touch). A F.B.I. agent is visiting Wellsboro, Pa. as it is the anniversary and been 25 years since the “Wellsboro 10” with the case never being solved. He is investigating the lone survivor Derek who is still hanging out in an asylum following the event many years ago but still trying to warn all the people Wellsboro aliens are coming to harvest them! To give the film some filler and humor is the filmmaker making a cheap film on the “Wellsboro 10” but that doesn’t even matter because the highlight might be the aliens setting a trap for Santa Claus… Cheesy and stupid but it made me laugh my ass off as I give this third entry into the “Feeders” franchise 2 ½ stars.

Dominion (DVD) – I am always a sucker for late 80s to mid-90s direct-to-video stuff. Especially when it stars Tim Thomerson and Brion James! Anyway a group of hunters head for a super special secluded hunting/camping grounds that is run by Lynnwood Adventures. But after an accident last year the owner Lynnwood hasn’t been seen or heard from much leaving his partner in charge. So when Harris and his group are being shot at by a sniper on a bridge in the mountains its Lynnwood who wants revenge on all hunters for accidentally killing his kid. Not the best of action flicks but I am a sucker for stuff like this every time and I give it 2 stars.

Bloody Pit of Horror (DVD) – A fun oddball flick from the 60s where the legend of The Crimson Executioner is still haunting a castle over 300 years later. He was entombed into his own device the ‘Iron Maiden’ (insert Bill and Ted joke here) to never be opened. But the tomb is accidentally opened when a group of people who break into the castle to take risky photographs using the castle as the backdrop. Soon people are being murdered and could it be the Crimson Executioner is back? Or is it the retired strong man who has lost his marbles living there? Anyway the whole time I kept waiting for Santo or Batman to show up. Looking for pointless fun then make this your first stop as this film caused me to laugh quite a few times as I give it 2 ½ stars.

New Year’s Evil (Blu-ray) – I will admit I have only watched this film twice in my life this being the third and very late to the party of seeing this early holiday slasher. Hell, this one gets forgotten often when horror fans talk slashers? Anyhow third time was a charm because this updated Blu-ray from Kino Lorber is ridiculously awesome! There were literally whole scenes I had never understood because of how crappy the quality was on the other versions I watched.  But anyhow TV host is counting down the ‘New Wave’ music each hour until the ball drops but there is a killer on the loose named “Evil” who is killing a person for each time zone. Can he be stopped in time before he kills Blaze? It has its moments but nowhere as good as some of the other holiday titles but this Blu-ray is a definite for the hardcore collectors out there as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Dash Cam (On Demand) – If you took the recent film ‘Spree’ and the found footage film ‘Area 51’ jammed them together and make sure the lead character is a despicable American you will hate in the first five minutes of the film that is your film here? Anyhow Annie doesn’t believe in the pandemic and flies to the UK to fuck with her friend who is living a different life during the pandemic. Annie like most young people has a live stream show called “Band Car” where she is constantly rapping or just recording everything she does. Annie is having a good old time being a complete asshole until she meets Angela and her weirdness and still finds a way to be an asshole and a classic example why many people believe humanity should just end since we all have no common sense any longer? For the most part this film wasn’t made for me and I think making the Annie character such an asshole along with the scrolling on the side of the screen takes away from any momentum you are trying to scare people with the Angela character. I give this quickly forgotten film 1 star.

Art House Massacre (DVD) – This 2012 film is hidden in plain sight called ‘Art of Darkness’ but its original title is so much better and makes so much more sense. Besides three minutes in we have a great eye gouge scene there is an artist who works with flesh let’s say. Liz is a model who has taken a break because she and the boyfriend try to have a baby I believe and they lost it. She takes a modeling gig begrudging but knows they need the money. She meets the artist/serial killer and is kidnapped for far more demented reasons. Ben the boyfriend pursues looking for her with no answers and the cops being to slow but both parties find out much more unsettling truths about the artist once they start digging hoping for a clue to find Liz. This was a nice surprise as the usual ‘massacre’ crap is crap where this was a nice sadistic serial killer film that I give 2 ½ stars.

Nightmare Beach (Blu-ray) – Great cast, its 1988, Umberto Lenzi is connected to this project, it stars John Saxon and Michael Parks, I felt like I was in for a cheeseball treat! A notorious biker Diablo is executed right before spring break in South Florida for a murder he did not commit. But justice was done to make the mayor happy until it isn’t long before Diablo’s grave is disturbed and a mysterious biker is roaming the streets for rando spring breakers to execute them. This movie doesn’t disappoint with the 80s cheese as the whole thing comes down to a cover up by John Saxon’s cop character and the mayor. I had a lot fun watching this for the first time and looks absolutely wonderful, again thank you Kino Lorber as I give it 3 stars.

Frankenstein 1970 (DVD) – No where the best of the Boris Karloff films but Karloff plays the Baron Frankenstein who is concerned about his legacy? Being broke and needing money for equipment he allows a film crew into his castle and begins to even interact with the filming while he is busy with his toilet paper Frankenstein in his secret lair! It does drag a good bit but when Boris is on screen this late 50s flick is must see just to enjoy Karloff just because as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Jurassic Thunder (DVD) – This 2019 film tries to be funny but fails miserably as a comic book store owner opens a one of a kind comic to read the tale of zombies, dinosaurs, and the military trying to stop WWIII from happening. A dictator in Africa has unleashed something horrible on the world and the U.S. and Russia don’t want to use nukes so let’s use commando dinosaurs. Sounds like it could be a lot of fun but instead is a lot of jokes falling flat and bad CGI that makes Asylum look like they make “JAWS” every time out as I give this turd 0 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

We tackle a horrible Bigfoot film on this episode!

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This week we have werewolves, bigfeets, RoboCops and haunted clocks.  First Tim picks a doozy (as only Tim can) in Bigfoot’s bride.  Then we dig up a weird made for T.V. flick in The Werewolf of Washington.  Then Kyle talks about one of his most beloved sequels of all time in Robocop 2.  And finally a haunted clock wreaks havoc in Amityville 1992: It’s about time.  And as always we talk about other topics such as exactly how many people DeShaun Watson showed his weenus to.  The ins and outs of a great massage, Kyle visits a monster themed pizza joint, Facebook vigilantes, the outing of Kyle’s local town weirdo, and other stuff.  We also recall the news of the week, rundown all the things we’ve been watching this week. And as always we answer all your listener questions.  So download this episode or DeShaun Watson might just show you his weenus!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

See Yinz There! I will have books and movies for sale!

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Cinema Wasteland and The Cinema Wasteland Film Appreciation Society Presents:

A ONE DAY COLLECTABLE SHOW and RETRO MOVIE NIGHT DOUBLE FEATURE!



Saturday, June 4th, 2022

At our usual haunt: Which is now a BEST WESTERN PLUS (Formerly The Holiday Inn we’ve always held our shows at.)
15471 Royalton Rd., Strongsville, OH. 44136

This will be our Only one-day show and film night of 2022.

It’s a One Day Collectable Show featuring approximately 35 tables of Movie Collectibles, DVD and Blu-ray, Movie Posters, Autographs, and More from 10:00am until 5:00pm.

Then, catch Two Classic (or not-so-classic, as the case may be) Drive-In Movies on 16mm Film. Complete with a Cartoon, Short Film and Original Intermission Reel beginning at 7:30pm.

Make an Entire Day and night out of it!
Come in during the day to hang out with friends.
Do a little browsing and shopping with our Vendors.
* Grab a bite to eat and a couple of drinks at the hotel bar (or nearby restaurant) and return in the evening to watch the films.

* The Hotel will have a concession stand open from 11am – 4pm, then Vinney’s Bar will open at 4pm with food and drinks available.
Food and drinks are allowed in the Movie screenings.

The Film Show if Free if you attend during the day, so your Admission gets you into both events all day and night!


Our Saturday Night Film Screenings will Include:

A “Damsels in Distress” Double Feature –

ISLAND OF LOST WOMEN (1959) While flying to an international news conference in Melbourne, radio commentator Mark Bradley (Jeff Richards) and his pilot, Joe Walker (John Smith), are forced to crash land on an uncharted island in the Pacific Ocean after they run into a storm. They find this island is inhabited by Dr. Paul Lujan (Alan Napier) and his three beautiful daughters: Venus (Venetia Stevenson), Mercuria (June Blair), and Urana (Diane Jergens). Lujan, a nuclear scientist, has fled here with his family to escape from the civilized world after seeing the the power of the nuclear bomb. He doesn’t want his two visitors to leave, lest they reveal his whereabouts, so he destroys their plane. With help from the two older daughters, however, the men begin to construct a raft. (Naturally, Mark and Venus have fallen in love as have Joe and Mercuria). A fire in Lujan’s solar furnace causes an explosion which nearly wrecks the island and attracts the attention of a search plane. Mark, Joe, and the three young women look forward to being rescued; Lujan has doubts but is resigned.

And…

OPERATION DAMES (1959) During the Korean War, a troupe of traveling USO entertainers (including Russ Meyer’s buxom blond wife, Eve Myer, along with Barbara Skyler, Cindy Girard, and Alice Allyn) find themselves trapped behind enemy lines when their South Korean escorts are killed. Now, chased by the enemy, they run into a lost patrol of US soldiers, join forces, and make a desperate attempt to cross the lines and meet the US army on the other side. Mindless drive-in fun with the Hollywood hills passed off as Korea and some stock footage tossed in for good measure.

Plus…

WASTELAND INTERMISSION REEL – A terrific 22 minute reel of classic trailers, shorts, and drive-in intermission bits will screen between feature films.

And of Course a Cartoon and a Couple of Shorts…

A BROKEN LEGHORN (1959) Down on the farm, an egg in slow-witted hen Miss Prissy’s nest hatches, and out pops a baby rooster. Fearing he will be replaced by the kid and sent off to be slaughtered, Foghorn Leghorn plots to do away with the little tyke before that can happen.

THE THREE STOOGES (1953) “UP IN DAISY’S PENTHOUSE” – The Stooges father (played by Shemp) strikes it rich in oil and immediately issues divorce papers to his wife. He plans to marry Daisy, a gold digging younger women unless the boys can disrupt the proceedings. It’s a remake of THREE DUMB CLUCKS (1937) with Shemp replacing Curly and actually one of the better Stooge Shorts.

THE LITTLE RASCALS / OUR GANG (1930) “DIVOT DIGGERS” – When the caddies at the local golf course go on strike, the gang (and their mischievous chimpanzee) step in to cause chaos in one of the funniest Our gang shorts made.


WHEN:
Saturday June 4th, 2022.
10am – 5pm and movies start at 7:30pm


WHERE:
Best Western Plus (formally the Holiday Inn) – Same Place as Always just the name has changed
15471 Royalton Rd.
Strongsville, OH. 44136

* This is the same hotel we hold our Cinema Wasteland Movie and Memorabilia Expo’s in twice a year.
We’re just taking over one large room (in the back) for this event and not the entire hotel.


ADMISSION:

Admission is only $5.00
There will be no advance ticket sales for this event.

VENDORS:
Found a bunch of unwanted stuff cluttering the attic or basement? Got something to sell?
Tables for the One-Day Show are open to anyone and everyone.
If you’d like to give the smaller one-day collectable show a try, then this is a great way to make a few bucks between the regular Cinema Wasteland Movie and Memorabilia Shows.

Tables are nice and affordable and available now.