Tag Archives: independent

Gross Movie Reviews #603

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The Zombie Army (Blu-ray) – This shiny SOV turd was directed by Betty Stapleford and was considered legendary at my favorite video store “ISV”. We literally had a running bet on who would actually rent this film as it had a label on it “Worst Movie in the Store”, yet no one would rent it except us dumb asses who watched it a couple times in the store over 20 years ago. Well movie nerds apparently ‘Future Video’ thought it was time to bring it to HD! So how to explain the clarity… Okay imagine if you are old… like me, and you are watching a movie on the old black and white TV set with rabbit ears? That was the VHS version. Now imagine if that VHS was dying and played on your new 60 inch thin ROKU TV thingy and you know that was an upgrade. Anyhow besides this wonderful clarity there are some trailers, different music, and footage of a writer/producer talking about their experience in getting the movie made. So the government has bought an insane asylum because you know that is a wonderful idea. After a couple dumb military personnel open a radioactive shelter door looking for drugs this of course allows two psychos to be released and wander the halls again. These psychos are not your ordinary psychos as they want to experiment on the military privates and turn them into their zombies. It was released in 1991 and some fun effects to enjoy as I give this Blu-ray 3 stars.

African Kung Fu Nazis (DVD) – So this falls under “what in the bizarre hell am I watching?” as Hitler survives for no apparent reason with the leader of Japan. Again not exactly explained but these two make a tag team who find themselves in Guyana (I think) who begin to build their German/Japanese army out of the native African folk that live there. Hitler helps train these folk for a world tournament that they are going to put on. Oh did I mention if you are black and touch the new German/Japanese flag you go ‘white face’! So of course once they build a force they bother the local dojo to pay tribute to them and force setting up a revenge story in this racist mix of “Bloodsport”, “Fist of Fury”, and “Mortal Kombat” where you won’t know if you should laugh, cry, or both when it is done as I give this film 3 stars.

Legion of the Night (YouTube) – An independent film from Matt Jaissle that is also known as “Dead City” gives off wonderful “The Dead Next Door” vibes so you know you are in for a treat. Out of Detroit a couple of scientists are forced by some mob boss Francis to come up with zombie assassins. Not exactly expecting the research to pan out as well as it did they were able to give Francis the ultimate crew to do his bidding. Of course the scientists are considered expendable and thought to be completely killed off by some of the underlings? But assistant Russell survives and explains to Taylor who is back in town wondering what happen to his father. The two plot a tale of revenge with the new CZAs (Cybernetic Zombie Assassins) to seek revenge against Francis. All seems to go to plan until Francis has also partake in the forbidden formula and combat just got a lot more interesting. Love the premise of the film, love the look even for 1995, love the vibe, some great effects, the only flaw might be the story gets a little confusing or overcomplicated but if you are an Indy fan you need to have this in your collection as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Green Hell: A Jay Crimson Film (YouTube/Troma Now) – The film opens with filmmaker Jay Crimson where this content comes from and why? But you get two sketchy looking friends who accidentally find a liquid in a cough syrup bottle dropped by a random individual. Trying to get all kinds of fucked up believe it would be a great idea to drink it? Not much time passes before they begin to trip balls, see zombies, party again, more zombie gut munching, more weird visions, get quickly addicted to it, then kill a friend’s girlfriend. It is a lewd, crude, quick take, rough style kind of filmmaking style that was featured in other independent titles “The Wet Ones” and “Magnum Opus” to name two. I know there is a small niche audience for this project I just don’t think I am it… I more of a “Street Team Massacre” movie weirdo as I give this film 2 out of 4 stars.

After Presence (DVD) – A found footage flick of a Ghost Hunting dude who disappeared in 2017 while filming with his partner their latest special at a cemetery. Jamie Rice and Pat Donovan are all about getting content for their fans. The two separate for investigation purposes during filming and Pat slowly gets very deep into something that could be considered disturbing. Pat ignores the possible warning signs and weird shit going around him until it is too late. Everyone knows I am not a huge paranormal movie fan but kudos to these guys as they kept it basic, had a complete serious tone throughout, and had a good storyline they stray from as I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Alphabet Soup (DVD) – Another project from Broaden Torture Productions as this is more of a mish mash of four short films that feel like experiments, never fully fleshed out projects, or something they tried and will possibly remake in the future when the funds dictate. Creature from the Deep is a cheeseball corny short that I enjoyed the most. A great combo DVD or perfect starter thing for an independent movie fan who may want to check out more from these guys as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

To Love Again (Blu-ray) – Another feature out of the long lost collection of filmmaker Dan Komarek that was shot in 2008 and a far departure from horror, fantasy, and kids believing they are some kind of Ninja Masters. Two unlikely friends in Zack and Sarah who are all about the drugs strangely find love for each other as they try to figure out their lives together. Happiness is short lived when Sarah’s live-in boyfriend/roommate Tony decides this needs to stop and the two accidentally kill Tony. Again a huge departure from what you would use to seeing from this filmmaker but it does have its kinks and corks for such a serious tone film like the weird fake box waterbed (I cannot get my mind around it, sorry) and the barking dog at all times in the background of filming this love story. Dan shows a different side of his talent here and well worth the watch I just don’t think this will resonate with Indy fans as much as his other work as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Video Nasty Productions: The Early Years Volume II (Blu-ray) – This time around it isn’t just some early unfinished projects from Dan Komarek but his brother Mike Komarek and it is clear who is doing what project! But before you sink your eyeballs into nearly three hours of short films Dan supplies you with twenty minutes of trailers and an interview with me Tim Gross talking about Dan Komarek and his career so far. The shorts: The Cleveland Haunting is where a young man is haunted by himself and controlled by another. Crime Story (2008) is about two dudes arguing over money. Then Crime Story (2012) completely unrelated to the other four years before but has the random barking dog returning, incoherent dialogue, machine gun sound effects for a pistol, a crochet clock hanging on a wall instead of a real clock, a hallway of a home that I think is supposed to be an office, and it has no ending… Which I was entertained by this absurdity! Into the Mystic which is more feature length than short film features a random dude in girl jeans stalking individuals in a national park where a fat young version of Dan Komarek eats cigarettes off the ground and still believes he knows kung fu! Nail Biter is a short that will possibly make you puke after the three minutes of shaky-cam and goes into a story of a newspaper reporter going back to an abandoned home to investigate murders and the legend that happened several years before. (This short film was done by Mike Komarek and the biggest example of the filming differences between the brothers.) The Entity is a short film with a Blair Witch feel as a lonely man goes slowly insane. (Nevermind the odd Nazi flag in the background as not sure why it’s there but it has nothing to do with the story?) The Road is a short where something strange happens to two best friends as soft music plays at all times. And Disinformation is a quick found footage thing that felt much unfinished. Another look into the young mind of Dan Komarek that is very entertaining and fun if you enjoy checking out stuff from independent filmmakers before they got the legs under in what they want to do as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.  

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Speaking about Grossfest 2023 this August 5th…

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Since we have filled about ¾’s of the ballroom with vendors and guests (get your table soon folks) thought it was time to speak out? Say hey or how yinz doing n’at? What are the Gross Brothers doing?

Answer: The same thing we were doing in 2018… (Besides Tom Gross being a famous actor) Giving a convention or I should word it this way a home for independent vendors, filmmakers, authors, and actors to thrive. Independent movie fans we are in a world of autograph shows these days where its $125 to shake the hand of a John Carpenter and table prices for that convention that make you question you going on as an artist? We are not here to debate these actions but just like five years ago we are trying to give artists an alternative of not breaking the bank or destroying your budgets to do your next project while promoting the most recent one. We ain’t reinventing the wheel, we are just trying to have a fun convention where we all can have fun, network, sell some cool shit, and keep this cool exciting event going year in and year out! I have said it before “This is either the beginning of the end or Grossfest has just got started”. We know there is a few of yinz out there hope we don’t succeed, we know there is some of yinz watching and staying quiet to see how we do going big again (it’s cool, we will be waiting for you next year), there is a couple of yinz waiting for us to go to two day event (don’t worry we are waiting for yinz too) and we know we have our Grossfest die hards. Point is people if yinz want this to be fun and survive we will need your help: Know a vendor that could be interested? Tell them contact grossfest@gmail.com as the spaces are only $50! Know people who want to check this event out? Admission is $10 the day of the show at the door of the ballroom. Spread the word of Grossfest as our goal is not just to make money to sustain the event but for it to get bigger to bring more or different Indy guests in, play more movies, have people get together and come up with awesome crazy independent film, book, or artwork ideas, or most of all just make it the premiere event for all yinz independent folk. Remember you never know when you might be shaking hands with the next John Carpenter or even (because it is Pittsburgh) the next George A. Romero and it didn’t cost you hundreds upon hundreds of dollars. Now for my closing statement: we are not here to compete against other conventions as much as to be what we always were, Grossfest… because remember we are the joke that keeps on going and told we could never do this… so why can’t we just support independent cinema, have fun doing it, and see where it goes?  See yinz August 5th for our one day Grossfest!

www.grossfest.com

August 5th, Saturday 11-7pm

Hotel details:

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East

699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235

412-244-1600 or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com

Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

Grossfest 2023 Vendors so far…

Cluck, Cluck Productions

Glyphs & Glam

Dazed and Disorderly

Barry the Movie Demon

Wolf Hollow LLC

MMH Productions

Pgh Scrubs Guy

Minerva’s Trinkets

Nostalgic Nightmare Productions

Face Melt Productions

Broaden Torture Productions

Drunken Yinzers Productions

Video Nasty Productions

13 Occult

Shoggoth Suds

Midnight Magazine

Independent American Pictures

Addison Binek

Lou Ickes

Gross Movie Reviews #602

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Let Us In! (DVD) – Filmmaker Anthony E. Moran out of Michigan has put together this interesting 61 minute film that is not only his second feature but a movie that deals with “The beginning of the end”. From the start of the opening credits that give off “Prince of Darkness” vibes the Indy film goes for the throat of not pissing around for laughs where two strangers cross paths with a motorcycle club “Satan’s Keys” who are looking for revenge at a stash house. Instead both parties find something a lot more pressing, disgusting, and deadly as a radio broadcasts a hint of possible lethal agent being released in the residential area and people should “Shelter in place.” Without giving too much away this film is gory, a great story to tell, excellent use of locations, and knew exactly when to end it! Mr. Moran and crew look like they might have a finger on the pulse of what Indy fans are craving and for that I give this entertaining goofest 3 out of 4 stars.

Tough (YouTube/DVD) – Here is an intriguing 20 minute short film out of Australia from the Von Claude Brothers (Bernie and Butch) who give you a man who wants to be something he is not. Now, he cannot deal with the pain of it. This can be seen a few ways: a) a drug fueled night in the life of a young man, b) going for some kind of art film, or c) complete and utter chaos of being disgusting for disgusting sake or some kind of shock value? This isn’t my cup of tea but know fans of August Underground, American Guinea Pig series, and even Faces of Death would most likely eat this up as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Emperor of the North (DVD) – This flick is for all of our dads… If you are a person over 35 most likely your dad had seen and liked this flick. From the same guy that did “The Dirty Dozen” comes this depression era flick about a hobo trying to catch a train and not die. Set in 1933, hoboes riding trains living their best life possible. But you don’t ride ‘Engine 19’ as you are taking your own life into your hands until one hobo known as “A-No.1” takes on this train that is run by Shack who will kill just so no hobo can ride his train and live to tell about it. Amazing cast: Lee Marvin, Ernest Borgnine, Keith Carradine, Sid Haig, and a host of others star in this film about two legendary people in 1933 that know at some point they are going to face off. This is one of those completely off the beaten path movies away from horror but a great story that just sucks you in as I give it 3 stars.

The Swabian Sawmill Massacre (Blu-ray) – Yes kids check another one of the “massacre” list as I got a hold of this two parter no budget German film. Apparently after a dude has his morning coffee, playing with shitty looking dead bodies and pushing shit into his arm with a syringe our mystery killer decides to head to the local sawmill and start a murder spree. After his first kill like Jason Voorhees he finds the mask that will define him, “A large Condom”! But it isn’t a German film until someone shows their dick and someone gets pissed on? After killing everyone our killer overdoses setting up the second part while on the autopsy table he returns to the living to restart his killing spree. But first he must sew his condom mask up, put it on, and make sure he has even a bigger body count. Both movies come in together around sixty minutes and SOV fans might enjoy these as the German films from Madman Maru have this early 90s Polonia feel as I give this title 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Assault on Precinct 13 (Blu-ray) – Once again I was upgrading my physical media and picked up this ‘Steelbook edition’ just so I could have a wonderful copy of Carpenter’s masterpiece of a ‘siege’ flick. There isn’t much to say about this great project other than you will see it as a modern day western or one of the greatest siege flicks ever put together. The extras were a little slim on this edition but I still couldn’t help myself as has an old interview with Carpenter at a theater in the early 2000s, his commentary which could be new but have listened too on the laserdisc version?, but there is a couple new interviews with cast members that if you are a fan like myself will give you butterflies talking about the film four decades later! Anyhow, the Blu-ray is one of those worth picking up if you see it on sale and need an upgraded edition like I did. Besides the picture and the music isn’t going to get any better at this point as they have done everything to make it look crisp, clean, and sound perfect as I give it 4 stars.

Gay for Pray: The Erotic Adventures of Jesus Christ (Blu-ray) – Another project from Nathan Rumler and Rock Bottom Video as they have just released the Blu-ray version of this earlier film that includes the uncut version with the cut version together for the first time. I highly recommend getting this Blu-ray as the uncut is 20 minutes longer and was only released for a very short time a few years ago so this is a great investment if you are a fan of Rock Bottom Video. Nathan not only proves he knows what he is doing but crafts an amazing independent film (we will get back to that in a minute) that stars a wonderful array of independent acting talent that brings to life one of the funniest things I have ever watched. Our story begins with Jesus supposedly being thrown out of heaven without his powers because he is “GAY”! He happens to visit a home of Adam, Steve, and Eve dressed as a wizard who wants to grant wishes if you suck his dick. Yep, you read that correctly and this is how the film opens! After trying the wizard gig Jesus comes clean to the three as one hates him, one believes in him, and the other just wants to have sex with Jesus even if it means dressing as a man? But anyway since the three got nothing better to do they try to help Jesus get his powers back when he isn’t explaining how he made the bible more family friendly. They try everything to help: social media, making water to wine, encountering protests, even trying to walk on water to prove he is Jesus and he deserves his powers back. But the entire ordeal is not completed until the last ten minutes happen: Jesus, chainsaw, protesters, gore, while The Rainbow Connection song (done by another band) happens. This ending should be one of the more celebrated Indy endings to a movie ever! If you are easily offended please watch this wonderfully entertaining film… Why? Because Nathan’s film is more relevant now than when he produced it five years ago. The dialogue is well crafted; the characters and those who played them were perfect. This movie is going to make some uncomfortable but I dare you to pay attention to the script, again the dialogue as it might be one of the best written scripts ever in my opinion as Nathan predicted what humanity is going to be like? I totally believe he caught exactly how humanity has become one big asshole in the past couple years with this movie. I know there are some detractors of “Fangboner” and “Amityville Vibrator” but I dare you to watch and not like “Gay for Pray” and laugh. Because if you don’t like it or get it just do me the favor of quit watching movies and shut up! Nathan and crew deserve not just our respect but our support as Nathan Rumler and crew are constantly trying to find ways to entertain through independent cinema and thank them as I give this film 4 out of 4 stars.

10/31 Part III (Blu-ray) – Rocky Gray and a collection of other filmmakers are back to add to their anthology series that has become popular among independent horror fans. This anthology is a monster marathon hosted by Malvolia and has fake trailers with four tales of Halloween horror from Michael Ballif, Brad Twigg, Jacob Perrett, and Zane Hershberger. Now full disclosure yinz all know I seen Zane’s “Hack-in-the-box” last year and thought it was one of the best things I seen in 2022. So the other three had a lot to live up to and they did not disappoint. I am a huge fan of 10/31 series but always felt something was missing from the first two entries to make them complete if that makes sense? Well I can honestly say for me they got it right with this entry as all four stories fit together, fun to watch, and feels like this anthology is the best of the series and most likely will be one of my favorite films of 2023 as I give this entry 4 out of 4 stars. (P.S. the mummy entry made me have wonderful memories of the “Tales from the Darkside: The Movie” and thank you).

Infinity Pool (DVD) – So Brandon Croenberg likes his father is now making movies that are truly bizarre and most likely made before their time? And this is no different as author James Foster and his girlfriend are on vacation at an island where the richest of the rich go to a perfect fenced-in resort (the town nearby is crime riddled, poor, and they hate foreign people). James and Em become friends with this intriguing couple that has Mia Goth a part of it. And besides just meeting people and wanting to do something with them James becomes attracted to Mia’s character immediately. Once talked into leaving the resort to enjoy themselves that is where the film gets super weird and not sure I can even do this film justice explaining what you watch next? After the author runs a local down with a car authorities come the next day looking for them and we go down a rabbit hole of basically a process of cloning but you are able to watch yourself getting killed in a horrible way. If that wasn’t enough or confusing James is now a part of this group of people or zombies because of his life-altering experience and they up their violent tendencies. Eventually James has had enough and when it ends it will leave you hanging in thought of what did you actual watch. The film is crazy, bizarre, and by the end of it I found Mia Goth’s character super annoying. Not sure if this is my cup of tea kind of film as I may have to revisit this in five years to truly understand it but for now I give it 2 stars?

The Munsters (DVD/Remake/Prequel) – So let’s get this out of the way first: I was an “Addams Family” person but never a huge “Munsters” fan but also know there has been several failed reboots of the “Munsters” over the years. So saying that and following Rob Zombie’s career this film only made sense at this time for him. This version isn’t so much a retelling of what we already know but a prequel to the TV show and how Lily and Herman met and moved to America. The film dives into Grandpa not liking Herman and trying everything to stop the monster from taking his little vamp girl from him. The movie is more for the fans of the show as Zombie made sure to hit on all the highlights of stories Lily and Herman tell about their early romance. I believe Rob Zombie did a great job bringing this to life but I think the only problem is the movie will cater to a certain audience as others won’t get it and this film will be forgotten soon as I give the film 2 ½ stars.    

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Another guest announcement for Grossfest 2023

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So Grossfest is always on the lookout for a different guest or two to have at our event. So this announcement should be no surprise but something different and interesting for the folks who may have heard of them but not had the pleasure of ever meeting them or seeing their work? They are a couple of wonderful friendly people who have worked hard at their craft of being horror hosts and entertaining the low budget world on their YouTube channel and social media pages! With great pleasure I would like to introduce yinz all to a couple of lovable characters that get it and enjoy movies just like us… The Mummy and the Monkey! See yinz August 5th.

You can find more out about them here:

http://www.youtube.com/themummyandthemonkey

www.themummyandthemonkey.com

https://www.facebook.com/themummyandthemonkey

See yinz August 5th! http://www.grossfest.com

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1883916838523111

Video Nasty Productions The Early Years Vol. II

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Well it’s official. Coming next Friday, exclusively at Cinema Wasteland is Video Nasty Productions: The Early Years Volume 2. This Blu-ray is packed with 3 hours of short films from Video Nasty Productions. This set also includes an introduction and in-depth conversation from filmmaker Tim Gross

Gross Movie Reviews #600

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Mail Order Murder: The Story of W.A.V.E. Productions (DVD/Tubi) – A 2020 documentary that covers the story of a dude who made shot on video movies like no other as he flooded the market with his no budget stuff. Interviews with Tina Krause, Art Ettinger, J.R. Bookwalter, Mike Gingold, William Hellfire, and some other actors that have worked on these numerous productions with Gary Whitson tell the story of what his production unique. What separated this production company if you want to call it from the other low budget stuff was he took requests, scripts from fans and made them! Or what some fans call this genre “Custom Fetish Films”. More than likely if you are over 30 and been to a video store you have rented one of these movies by accident as I give this fun doc 4 stars all the way as it was fun watching people explain the impact these films had on the Indy scene.

Strangeville Home Movies (DVD) – Kevin Strange has recently returned to the independent scene like a hurricane with comics and movies. Always been a fan of Kevin’s work as I was a huge fan of the Nixon and Hogan stuff. So knowing there was new stuff released thought it was time to start with something that could be a lot of fun and that was this collection of never seen before short films, promos, and unreleased skits Kevin and friends did as far back as 2005 before a lot of the features Hack Movies became known for. If you are a fan of Hack Movies this will the sweet spot as there is some funny Nixon and Hogan stuff here and “The Pumpkin Reaper” playing Kevin in a board game of “Life” during one of the short films. The independent genre is better for Kevin and Hack Movies being back going full steam again as I give this collection 3 out of 4 stars.

Death Mask (DVD/YouTube) – James Best writes and stars in this 1998 feature where he is a part of a circus for the past several decades because his father scarred his face as a child. He plays Wilbur a shy aging man that is being threaten by the new circus owner to be fired until a young lady (Linnea Quigley) Angel comes along and takes interest in the old man unlike all that work there. Wilbur hell bent on wanting to change things of course goes with Angel to visit a swamp gypsy because he is told his death masks are fake? Wilbur sells his soul, makes a mask, it becomes pure evil, and he kills people because he becomes possessed by it… I guess. By far not the most interesting film but you know I had to see it to believe it as I give it 1 star. Also look for one of the most awkward shower scenes done by Linnea in her career, weird stuff.

Shingles the Movie (DVD) – This time out super talented independent filmmaker Steve Rudzinski directs a film that starts off promising as it looks and feels like an Indy “R” rated version of Goosebumps. A small group of friends sitting around a campfire as they are part of the “Cooter Scouts” wait for their scout leader. To pass the time they discuss life lessons and tell stories to entertain and scare each other. The stories consist of a messy comedian; foreign exchange students challenged to a beer Olympics, cocaine filled talking gnome, and a zombie apocalypse. The cast is wonderful and might be the best yet to be in a Rudzinski film as there is a few of the usuals that you will see like a Ben Dietels who is glorious but the one that may catch your attention is Michael Varrati (super talented and one of my favorite people to ever work with) as the voice of the cocaine filled gnome! This entertaining low budget film (I believe $50,000) has a great professional higher budget look to it as I like the “Goosebumps” and even a splash of “Wishmaster” vibe I get from the film. I enjoyed everything about it except the running time… two hours. This could be a me thing in general with independent stuff as I respect the hell out of Steve and that crew but once it hits the 80, 85 minute mark the film feels like it loses the steam or momentum it had early on in their story telling with the Cooter Scouts discussing things. The people playing the scouts were perfect but in the end the stories felt like they were a little long to fit into this feature as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars. http://www.silverspotlightfilms.com

Ghosts of Amityville (DVD/Tubi) – Once again I felt a disturbance in the movie force as I had a feeling entry #46 (if yinz are still counting?) was streaming and it was… Anyhow, this entry has clowns… again and from Spain. Believe me not that matters much but this story has a little girl named Oliva being haunted by a clown that might be some kind of Amityville force? Because they had a few quick shots of the Amityville house at the beginning and some words scrolling across the screen explaining some deaths occurred there. So of course this means a little girl gets haunted by some stupid clown whether she in the woods, dreaming, in her bedroom, or in some random hotel looking thing that the filmmaker thought would be cool like “The Shinning”. Who in the fuck knows as this was hot garbage from beginning to end. How bad was it? I put this right behind: Mt. Misery Road, Vanishing Point, Thanksgiving, then this entry, then Scarecrow most likely. You know for those people who think I am completely insane for watching all these films and laughing with me as I keep writing about these complete disasters as this entry was no different as it gets 0 stars.

Terminal Island (DVD) – Before: No Escape, that one with Stone Cold Steve Austin, and even Turkey Shoot there is this 1973 edgy fun cinema that stars a young Tom Selleck. It is called the San Bruno initiative where convicts that have been convicted of murder are sent to an island about 40 miles off the coast of California because it is cheaper for taxpayers for them to live out their lives there. Little does the public know it’s all about survival as men and women break up into two groups of convicts because one of them is trying to control everyone? But remember they are all killers and their instinct kicks in quickly in this gritty but wonderful movie you may never heard of as I give it 3 stars.

Mortuary Academy (DVD/YouTube) – Paul Bartel, Mary Woronov, and two dumb ass dudes that inherit a mortuary and its school program but must attend and graduate in order to get the inheritance. Yep, go no further as I am always in for something late 80s like this where the Grim brothers must fumble through mortician school as Paul and Mary’s hilarious characters try to stop them so they get the inheritance. Paul and Mary steal the show as I give this 3 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #599

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The Dead Don’t Die (YouTube) – A George Hamilton TV movie from 1975 that is set in 1934 Illinois. Hamilton plays Don Drake who has a brother that was accused and tried for murder at The Illinois State Penitentiary and is heading to the electric chair. Don’s brother swears up and down before his execution that he was wronged so Don begins to investigate his brother’s innocence? But Don finds himself in over his head quickly as he falls into a strange world of evil, voodoo, and zombies as his brother becomes one himself. It’s an odd mix of film noir and supernatural TV movie that I am unsure if people would have picked up on at the time of its release? This oldie fits the weird card if you are looking for something in streaming land that you haven’t heard of before as I give it 2 stars.

Dracula: Live from Transylvania (DVD-R/YouTube) – Speaking of George Hamilton here is a documentary with some comedy thrown in, hosted by George Hamilton himself and throws a jab or two at himself for starring in “Love at First Bite”. Hamilton plays it for laughs as he directs you through the history of the famous bloodsucker himself, “Dracula”. He interviews experts about the legend, talk about the history of vampires past and present, and even speak once or twice about the countless films about it. It is 1989 TV event that I do not remember ever hearing about but now glad I have had a chance to witness this hilarity as I give it 3 stars.

Wild Blade (YouTube) – A super odd dramatic college film project (I believe) from New York 1991, that stars Stephen Geoffreys as a mute and boyfriend to an up and coming comedian who was trying to divorce his wife before his untimely death. The movie reflects on everything that happens after his death as it seems to go nowhere except everyone is banging everyone as I give it 1 star.

Doomsday Stories (DVD) – A new project from a ‘jack of all trades’ filmmaker Phil Herman that puts together a host of stories that connect in the sense they all are about a man-made virus that has almost wiped out all of mankind. Many years later a man wandering the wastelands or the nice beach they filmed on finds a notebook documenting these stories of individuals or groups of people trying to fight back, survive, or even change the past? I enjoy the concept, looks professional, but any independent film pushing the 2 hour limit is always going to find itself some critics for the mere reason it better be perfect? The movie has its flaws for sure but it is entertaining from my perspective of it feeling like an updated “Hitchhiker” TV series that was from HBO during the mid-80s. If Phil would have reeled his character a little bit for the wraparound of the stories the only thing he would have been missing is a dusty leather jacket and him thumbing for a ride… I like seeing different stuff like this from Indy people as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Night of the Axe (DVD/YouTube) – First feature length film from Shawn Wright that features music from Matt (Hexercise) Cannon and it is a slasher so right away you have my attention good or bad. Our story begins with a very large mute man in an insane asylum where he decides to get up and begin a murder spree! But the small town doesn’t have the resources to track him down as had escaped weeks ago but also the young people of the town don’t care until now. Bulk of the film takes place in a home where the locals are having a small high school reunion party where they can get drunk, high, and bump uglies. I gotta give kudos to Mr. Wright for understanding “when to end the film”, giving Indy fans what they want, and keeping the first feature length formula simple. I found the pacing of the whole story a little choppy but still delivered on the blood and guts factor and most likely will have independent movie fans wondering “what’s next” for the second feature as I give this delight 3 out of 4 stars.  

Macabre Medicine (YouTube) – Will Devokess wants all to know full heads up that this was a school project from several years ago and had a shitload of issues from budget restraints to distribution rights, etc., so be kind if you get the chance to see it like I have. But anyway a passion project that became a reality where the first ten minutes is fake trailers that lead into a 90 minute feature with a man Heywood West who enjoys experimenting with the human body by butchering them. A fellow medical student in Jeff does his best to become friends and hang with West but to Jeff’s dismay he witnesses West’s enjoyment let’s say? Now Jeff must decide to stay friends with a killer or listen to his college buddies and turn him in? Here is the thing the film goes a different route as most scenes are played up for laughs and features some gore. I liked the concept but feel like Mr. Devokess never executed exactly what he was trying to give the audience as I give the movie 2 out of 4 stars.

Blood Scarab (DVD) – A weirdo horror film sort of… where Vlad Dracula and Elizabeth Bathory are a thing and Renfield still serves Dracula. After Dracula fails to make it home before daylight this allows Bathory to walk around mostly naked, feed on her girlfriend at will, and make sure we all see her girlfriend topless for most of the film. Meanwhile a mummy disappears from a museum that Brinke Stevens works at and Renfield is challenged to track down this mummy for a ritual to become a daywalker. While Renfield performs his duties we get a bad soft-core version of Bathory and her girlfriend but once she has performed the ritual Renfield disagrees with her and tries to bring Bathory down. The movie is supposed to be played for laughs but I think you are so beaten over the head to watch boobs for 90 percent of the movie the jokes get lost in the process. This is the type of horror movie you give friends who claim “they don’t watch porn?” Or better yet they should have just made the porn version because most likely it would have been funnier as I give it 1 star for at least having the legendary actress Brinke Stevens in it.

Death Blow (Blu-ray) – Chris Leto’s latest Indy feature has a man David owning a rental property that was supposed to be profitable but it’s been a real slow time for rentals. Thus David is starting to panic as he goes deeper into debt just trying to keep up with the property. One afternoon David heads to the property after someone’s (Mr. Beck) one night stay to clean up only to find Mr. Beck hasn’t left yet but died of an overdose. This is where the real story begins as David quickly decides to clean up, get rid of the body, and make it like he left after finding a bag with a large sum of money. David believing he has gotten away with it starts to spiral into doubt of his actions and just trying to keep it hidden of what he has done but the real problem is Mr. Beck was bringing the money to a friend who isn’t happy now. This movie doesn’t go for laughs, gore, just a straight up gut punch thriller of what happens to David now? Felt like I have seen this before but Leto and crew still did a wonderful job of trying to interject new dark twists to this concept as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest movie update!

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Just an update so far: Vendor spaces are selling nicely, waiting on one or maybe two more guests to get back to us, and we have an early movie list for the event that will be playing (no order yet, except we always open with Matt Cannon Hexercise) and thank yinz again!

Hexercise

Then My Mind Walked Away

Shingles The Movie

Bathtub Shark Attack

Doomsday Stories

http://www.grossfest.com

Grossfest returns in a big way Saturday, August 5, 2023!!! We are going to party like Grossfest 2018 because unlike other conventions we are sticking with “PRE-COVID” PRICES!

$10 ticket to get in/$50 for a vendors table

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East

699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235

412-244-1600 or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com

Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests will be announced soon and as always subject to change)

All we ask of yinz, is your support! You want this to keep happening you have to get your asses there and plus to answer any questions of it: Yes, a two-day event is already in the plans for August 2024! (We need to take the first big step back) So let’s keep it simple and enjoy Grossfest is back and with your support this is a new beginning for our Independent Horror Convention.

Vendors please contact grossfest@gmail.com for a vendors application and we are working on having several different ways of taking payment.

See yinz there!

Gross Movie Reviews #598

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Jaws of Satan (Blu-ray) – So I was checking out this out of print 2-pack Blu-ray that has “Jaws of Satan/Empire of the Ants” with no real extras and pretty much is the latest but out of print physical media of this flick that is available? Anyway, after a train stops suddenly in a small town several snake attacks happen that just happen to be led by a King Cobra who might be Satan himself! This cobra is tracking a priest who might not believe as much as some of his brothers until this snake along with others come looking for him so there can be an ultimate fight between good and evil. This killer snake movie is still some cheesy fun that I give 3 stars too but look out for the overpriced Blu-ray as it isn’t worth what the eBay people want?

Mercenaries (DVD) – A Hong Kong Shaw Brothers flick that isn’t as available as some Shaw Brothers flicks on YouTube has a bad ass dude Mr. Lou Li approached by a gorgeous rich woman who needs him to travel to Cambodia to kidnap an assassin? Lou Li is given permission to put together a small team and each can make a substantial amount of money if they are able to retrieve an audio tape that is being used for blackmail. Imagine a cool Hong Kong version of “The Expendables” who accomplish their mission but things go from a little bad to a whole lot worse when they all get screwed over! A super fun and crazy action flick well worth seeking out if you haven’t had the chance to witness bad ass flick as I give it 3 stars.

The Skid Kid (DVD-R/YouTube) – A WTF lost low budget film from 1991 that has a familiar face or two about a masked superhero who happens to be a high school kid (Scooter Spielberg) with special boots and skids along the road on his ass. These boots are so special that the FBI is looking into getting the boots off of the kid for the government. But meanwhile the kid is just trying to clean up his community of crime. And by the way folks his boots run on soda and not that cheap shit either… I dare you to not laugh and enjoy this cornball movie that if nothing else is entertaining and give 2 ½ stars too.

Queen of Blood (DVD) – A mid 60s film that is set in 1990 and stars Basil Rathbone, Dennis Hopper, and John Saxon where earthlings receive a distress call from an alien ship on Mars. So being 1990 in all they jump into a ship to go see if they can help their new friends? Friends this alien is not as a beautiful green alien is found and brought aboard the ship for the astronauts to bring back to good health and have her meet the good scientists that started this mess. Once awake on the ship the beauty wastes no time to lure men in with her beauty and suck them dry of their blood. Sounds like a crude version of “Lifeforce” kids but no matter how old this feature is its still worth checking out this B-movie as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Rana: The Legend of Shadow Lake (YouTube) – This somewhat hard to find 1980 film is sometimes known as “Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell” where a man named Kelly tells a horrible story of a frog monster one summer when he was 11 years old. A researcher comes by Kelly and his father to investigate the lake they live on where a fossil unlike anything before was found. But there has always been a story of something living near or in the lake that is half man/half monster and was looked upon as a god. The film takes a while to get going but has a wonderful pay off when the cheesy monster goes on a rampage as I give the film 2 stars.

Cocaine Bear (Theater) – The ‘Sharknado’ film of 2023 for us film nerds as this film is very loosely based on drugs found in the mountains of Kentucky and Georgia 1985. A black bear just happens to find the bags of cocaine and likes it! Now add in a couple of drug dealers looking for their stuff, a couple missing kids, a not so smart cop, and a bear high on cocaine looking to slaughter any human that gets in the way of it and its new thing “Cocaine”. This movie was beyond entertaining and most likely will make a lot people’s “Top Ten lists” as they made sure every five minutes the bear is snorting or eating cocaine or characters are talking about the bear on cocaine as I give this brilliance 4 stars.

Crocodylus (DVD) – A no budget film about a small town having a killer croc problem even though several times throughout the film characters saying, “killer gator”… It was making no sense but anyway after a few bodies have been mutilated the cops finally take interest in these possible animal attacks. Doesn’t take much longer for others to take notice and explain how it is a professor’s experiment that has gotten out in the wild. The movie was mostly dull and couldn’t believe there wasn’t one person on set to even remotely try to add energy to this poor excuse for a killer animal movie as I give it 0 stars.

Remnants (Plex) – An Indy filmmaker Mark Byrne tries to take a stab at the recently bloated genre of paranormal and tries to bring something to it? A rich dude bank rolls a group of paranormal experts to research and help clear “remnants” of souls good or bad haunting people or structures. While just trying to help a lost soul of a killer clown happens to find an opening into the real world and restart his rampage of murder. Now the paranormal flick might not be my cup of tea but I gotta give kudos to Mr. Byrne trying to spice up the independent paranormal genre with a different take as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

Scream of the Blind Dead (Full Moon/Tubi) – This 40 minute short film based on “The Blind Dead” series is just proof that Chris Alexander needs to stop directing and go back to his day job. This poor excuse for a short ‘fan film’ is about a young lady named Virginia who checks out a church in the middle of nowhere because she is a sexual deviant that thinks nasty thoughts and only awakens one shitty Templar Knight. I apologize this sounds harsh but I know this dude has the resources and I am still not over how bad that ‘Necropolis: Legion’ was as I give this garbage 0 stars as this might be the clear cut winner already in 2023 of “Worst Movie of the Year”!

Invaders from Mars (DVD) – This 1953 drive-in classic have a kid witnessing a flying saucer landing in his backyard during a stormy night. David’s father George goes out to investigate to only fall into a hole and disappear mysteriously. David frightened until his father comes home and begins to act different and has a strange cut on his neck that reignites David’s fear. David fears it is no longer his father, but an alien clone or possession of sorts as townsfolk are slowly taken over. Luckily for David a nurse at the local police station believes something isn’t right and they head over to an army base where David is finally taken seriously about aliens invading. It is up to the Army to stop these invaders from sabotaging shit around town but the kicker of the whole thing is: Did David dream it all up or did something else happen? Still a wonderful flick to show movie people who are looking to dip their toe into the sci-fi/horror genre as I give the film 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest guest list… so far

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This energetic, talented actor, director, overall cool human being has been one of my favorite and possibly most interesting people I have had the pleasure meeting over the years. You may know him from one of the best Indy “massacre” films ever made in “Pool Party Massacre”. But he also has parts in recent projects such as: The Barn 2, Amityville Hex, Scare Me, and Slashlorette Party as Grossfest is honored to have Drew Marvick as a guest.

This talented newcomer to the filmmaking community busted onto the scene with a film not only shot on video but prefers the process and has already carved a niche into the scene with their first big project “Spirit Animal”. Now they are about to rock the boat of Indy filmmaking again with their latest “Bathtub Shark Attack”! I dare you to say there is a bigger supporter of SOV films and shark films out there? So with great pleasure we will be having Madeline Deering as a guest.

This filmmaker is a quiet, talented fellow that I have known for many years and have had the pleasure watch him grow and learn with his films. I get super excited when this individual has a new release because I know it’s gonna be gory, fun, and possibly a little disturbing. He might be best known for such titles: Welcome to Deer Creek, Tonight You Die, What’s Wrong With Mom?, and Happy Hour Holocaust . But the I believe the Indy world is about to be blown away by this filmmaker’s most complete feature to date with “Then My Mind Walked Away” as we enjoy knowing Jim Roberts will be joining Grossfest as a guest.

Now this dude is excellent and his career has spanned a few decades where he started in a little role for a little film called “The Dead Next Door”. From there he was in such titles: Robot Ninja, The Sandman, Polymorph, Killer Campout, Frames of Fear 3, Deathboard, Hell Van  just to name a few. But recently has really made an impact as a director with titles: Her Name is Christa and Brimstone Incorporated! We believe Grossfest fans will enjoy his presence and we are happy to announce James L. Edwards as a guest.

Now yinz know we cannot have a Grossfest unless we have this individual as a guest? This director, actor, producer, has given Indy fans such fun titles as: Basic Slaughter, The Slasher Hunter, Everyone Must Die!, Super Task Force One, and then showed off his talent even more when he broke through with not just his “Meowy” series but his “CarousHell 1 and 2” breaking into the mainstream! This multi-talented star is on the edge of going global but always has time for us folks at Grossfest as usual we enjoy knowing we have Steve Rudzinski as a guest.

Over the past decade Mr. Clevenger has had a variety of roles through several Indy projects but also is a director, producer, etc. It isn’t often someone can make waves with one Indy film project and if I could point out a film that in our opinion is why we wanted him as a guest for Grossfest it is his first directed feature 2018’s “People to Kill” starring the very talented Erin Ryan. That film stands out big time when we discuss independent films over the years and take our word on it… It will stick with you as you get to meet this very cool individual who we are happy to have as a guest at Grossfest, Mr. Adam Scott Clevenger.

$10 ticket to get in/$50 for a vendors table

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East

699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235

412-244-1600 or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com

Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests will be announced soon and as always subject to change)