Gross Movie Reviews #534

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Gross Movie Reviews #534

Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator (DVD) – This 1989 spoof comedy of sorts lies to you because we never get to see Stephanie thrown into the incinerator! This is more of a tale of ridiculousness as some rich friends get bored every year and do a bad reenactment of ‘Clue’. If there wasn’t much cooler flicks out there from the late 70s and early 80s that already did this better this film would be more of the worthwhile search but in the end I can only give it 1 ½ stars.

Witchcraft IV: Virgin Heart (DVD) – Our sequel starts with possibly the lamest opening of a film ever that has a young couple Pete and Nora out in the woods alone and the actress playing Nora sounds completely monotone when she is in distress. But moving on it has been three years since William the lawyer has used his warlock powers and now just works insurance cases. But when Nora goes missing and Pete is the only one being accused, Pete’s sister needs help so she comes to see William. Once they meet and William agrees to help this sets the tone for the rest of the movie as it plays out like a cheesy film noir with a three minute stripper scene that stars Julie Strain! Even though the film feels cheesy throughout it had a good flow, Julie Strain, a weird backstory for Strain’s character that keeps William interested in trying to help, for that I got to give it 2 stars.

Witchcraft V: Dance With the Devil (DVD) – This might be where the series starts to derail as the only thing left from the first four films story wise is the William character now played by a different actor. So “Bootleg” Ronnie James Dio comes to town and takes over a shady ass club and uses it to take souls. If Mr. Bootleg collects enough he can bring Satan into this world or just have an excuse to have even more naked people than this sequel. This sequel also begins the soft-core porn stuff literally as people seem to be having sex about every 8 to 10 minutes throughout. I’m not complaining but wanted to point out and give credit to the writers and director that were sure to have concerned girlfriend character Kelly care what her reverend thought of her boyfriend. She thought something wrong is going on with him so she turns to the man of the cloth she knows but hey never mind Kelly and the boyfriend have been living in sin the whole time! This is where we can see what these movies were being made for and it wasn’t exactly aimed at the horror fans as I give this 1 star.

Witchcraft VI: The Devil’s Mistress (DVD) – Oh in this 1994 sequel we meet a hunk named Jonathon that enjoys picking up young attractive women and dropping them off dead all over the city for detectives to find and be baffled by the motive. After a couple victims and the press calling it a “serial killer killing spree” a connection to a body in San Francisco is made in the now the detectives highly believe the possibility of the supernatural being involved. The coppers track down William because of his knowledge of the occult and ask for help. They bring in William in this hilarious scene where the detectives’ interview: fortune tellers, psychics, and other crazies that just mark the beginning of the downward spiral of William into witchcraft that he never wanted to begin with. Again this film goes out of its way to be filled with soft-core porn scenes (lots of big boobs, no dongs, but there is a tight dude butt!) I cannot confirm this but I thought I seen this sequel being sold in the famous “Adam & Eve” catalog at one point? You know kids that thing before the internet? Anyway lots of people banging not many people dying as I give it a ½ star… Next time throw a naked dong in to complete the trifecta?

The Mutilator (Blu-ray) – It was time to revisit this low budget slasher film from the early 80s as I didn’t get to see it then and only learned about it in the late 90s, early 2000s when it was being found on the bootleg market. Arrow Video recently corrected this problem putting together a 2-disc “must-have” edition for any horror fan. I myself remembered liking it the first time around but it was some crappy quality. Anyway, most of the gore takes place late in the movie but is well worth the watch if you are a gorehound. A father seeks revenge on his son Ed years later after his son accidentally shoots and kills his mother with a loaded rifle. Our tale goes forward when Ed gets a call from his father to go close down his beach condo during ‘Fall Break’ (which also was the original title). Ed and his friends decide to take advantage of this and go to party before they close it up for the winter but Ed’s father has other plans. Arrow Video not only restored the original unrated version of the film cleaned it up so much it was like watching this movie again for the first time. This of course means we get to see the famous giant fish hook with the girl parts for a wonderful death scene! But Arrow Video didn’t stop there as they loaded it up with a couple funny commentaries, a feature-length documentary (which was eye-opening on the background of this film), original music, and alternate opening titles that played with the movie before anyone knew about it. It does not happen often but I think I like this film more now than then because of this 2-disc Blu-ray from Arrow as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Running Time (Blu-ray) – Leave it to Josh Becker to come up with a cool idea for a film starring Bruce Campbell that doesn’t get seen and appreciated by many fans as it deserves. It’s a black and white project from 1996/1997 where it was shot and edited into one continuous shot by Becker that is a crime drama with a small cast. Bruce Campbell is Carl who is literally just released from prison and after getting his freak on with a girl he had crush on in high school is ready for a heist… that involves the prison he was released from! Once Carl’s best friend and Carl begin their journey into the heist what can go wrong, goes wrong quickly: flat tire, wrong safe, unknown strung-out getaway driver, people dying of heart attacks, a friend’s watch stolen, and Carl getting shot during this mess of chaos. Carl forever optimistic, money or no money must pick between his best friend or start all over with a girl he had a crush on. A super well-balanced, entertaining flick that should satisfy any bitter film junkie out there that doesn’t believe anything good is being released for the public to view. If anything this project further cements that Josh Becker can make something out of nothing no matter what genre it is. The Blu-ray is packed by Synapse Films with fun tidbits such as a fun commentary from Josh Becker and Bruce Campbell, film footage of a Q&A at a film festival the film was a part of, plus a great interview with Mr. Campbell giving the backstory on this project and comparing it to much bigger films. I have a feeling Synapse Films has a quick seller on their hands as I give this Blu-ray 3 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

Infra-man (DVD) – This 1975 project is also known as ‘The Super Infra-man’ for no other reason that I can think of but we do have a weird alien princess and a bionic superhero if you were not aware of this title. Alien princess is pissed off, causes a crap load of disasters, and threatens to enslave all the humans. To fight the alien princess a professor has invented a formula that can turn a man into a bionic superhero that is indestructible and rid the earth of this life-threatening menace. This Hong Kong film clearly has to be the beginning of ‘Power Rangers’ and people cosplaying because there is just a bunch of weird monsters running around the movie fake fighting. Good, bad, whatever you think I give it 2 stars as this just didn’t flip my switch.

Walking the Edge (DVD) – A title under the Empire Pictures umbrella that you would never expect from them that stars Robert Forester, Joe Spinell, and Nancy Kwan. A gritty revenge flick that starts off with a quick bang as Spinell and his cronies visit Kwan’s home looking for her husband. He shows up and things go bad quick as Spinell shoots the kid and father as Kwan runs off. Now with Kwan on the loose Spinell has some loose ends to tie up. Meanwhile Forester plays a cabbie that runs numbers for the mob and sometimes has a nice streak that doesn’t serve him well in the business he is in. Kwan and Forester cross paths after Kwan collects herself and uses the cab to take her places and gun down the people involved killing her family. A gritty thriller I never heard of until recently that was an excellent watch as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #516

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Gross Movie Reviews #516

 

Island of Terror (DVD) – This mid-60s film has Peter Cushing as a doctor who takes an expedition crew to a remote island where a boneless body was found. Once there he and his crew must take on these blob-like creatures that suck bone out of humans and multiplying quickly. Cushing and crew must act quickly in finding a way to kill these odd creatures or they will take over the island. It seems very B-movieish for Peter Cushing if that is a thing? As I give the creature flick 2 stars.

 

Terminal Invasion (DVD) – The 2002 SyFy Channel or Sci-fi channel film that seems all to be lost (DVD has been out of print for years and I believe it played twice on SyFy then nothing since???) It stars Bruce Campbell as a death row prisoner named Jack who is being transported for some unknown reason by two officers through a snowstorm. The transport gets into an accident and forced to walk to the nearest shelter which happens to be a small charter plane service that is piloted by the smoking hot and talented actress Chase Masterson. Problem Jack and the officers encounter an alien in the restroom and when the alien dies it disappears and all is left is Jack and two dead officers. This of course spells disaster for our hero Jack but all that are waiting for the snow to let up because who is human and whose not? Yeah I know sounds a little like John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ but Sean Cunningham gets the best out of Campbell and Masterson in this little known but exciting feature about aliens in a small airport as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Space Ninjas (DVD) – Do not adjust your television as Dirk Benedict aka Jack Strange guides you through a low budget story of five students in detention. They become trapped by “Space Ninjas” as these interdimension beings appear inside the school and begin to slice all who make noise as they are blind. Stanlei the skater girl is the leader of the detention misfits and must try to keep her new friends together to survive the night of slicing and dicing. And if Stanlei is lucky they will solve the problem of killing the Space Ninjas. Think low budget, international, ‘Breakfast Club’… with cosplaying ninjas. A lot to swallow there folks but this international flick is truly entertaining and a bright spot in sometimes a bloated genre of wannabes as I give it 3 stars. Thank you to James Peter Cox for pointing out this 2019 gem exists.

Ghost Killers vs. Bloody Mary (DVD) – A small group of so-called internet influencers who just happen to be supernatural hunters are looking for credibility. So after a recent death of a student at a high school they take on the case and begin to investigate the supposedly “Bloody Mary” haunting in the school bathroom. The group believes they can solve the issue quickly but the spirit is vengeful and brutally slaughters one of the supernatural friends sending them and the investigation into chaos as they must really face the supernatural for real. Super bloody at times, there is a killer turd, cannibalism, a condom joke all point to the Brazilian film being influenced to Peter Jackson’s early work as they try for laughs throughout. Glad this flick was uncovered and passed on to me as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Vampires vs. The Bronx (Netflix) – A teenager known as “Little Mayor” is having a block party for Tony’s Bodega or a place he has grown up and the rent has been raised to force the Bodega to close. See the Bronx is changing and not for the good according to most of the community but some are taking the money from the real estate company “Murnau” to buy up all the property. Only thing no one sees them leave the Bronx just more Murnau property signs. One night the Little Mayor happens to see a vamp biting into a gang banger and spends most of his time trying to convince his two best friends that vampires are here in the Bronx feeding on the residents for their property. Once Miguel gets them on board it is up to the three to fight the vamps or be arrested and in trouble with their parents. It felt like a good mix of ‘Attack the Block’ and ‘The Lost Boys’ with enough comedy to keep the story light but moving along quick. I can easily see this as a family Halloween horror flick that people check in on every year around this time as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Voodoo Woman (DVD) – The 1957 B-flick has an expedition trekking through the Amazon looking for gold and just so happen to stumble upon a lost tribe that protects gold as part of  their religion. But a doctor has already beaten them to the punch of being there and uses the tribe for his experiments into voodoo. Marilyn who leads the expedition is willing to kill even it’s her own party to have the gold but the doctor has other plans for her. The black and white film isn’t too exciting but is interesting to watch as it was rare to see films with such a strong female lead. Marilyn character not only can hold her own but becomes the monster the tribe feared to begin with as I give the film 2 stars.

 

The Ghoul (DVD) – Boris Karloff in a non-Universal film is a dying professor/Egyptologist who has dedicated his life to his study of it and has arranged a certain way to be buried once dead. What is important is this jewel he has be buried in the tomb with him so he can hand it to the spirit of Anubis. But in death and burial his servant screws him over and steals the jewel setting in motion not only Karloff coming back to life and escaping the tomb looking for the jewel… But also several people there for the strange funeral are pointing the finger at each other of who has stolen the jewel. Karloff’s character will not rest until he is able to hand it off to Anubis! Not the best of Karloff’s work, but like any horror movie that has Vincent Price, Peter Cushing, or a Bruce Campbell I will watch it at least once as I give it 2 stars.

 

Scare Me (DVD) – So this week I learned there is two movies of the same name made in the same year. One is a Shudder exclusive the other is this feature I watched, a low budget Indy film from out west. Some young campers head out to a campsite to enjoy hanging with friends and tell ghost stories. They meet a nice forest ranger who helps them with tents and such. But as the night progresses the forest ranger becomes disgusted with the lack of good ghost stories as he awaits his turn to tell his story. There really weren’t any ghosts… There were stories of vampires, zombies, a killer babysitter, and S+M until of course forest ranger murders them all. The film isn’t bad but far from being any good as the characters seemed awkward at times and the flow of the anthology or playing with the rules of an anthology just seem to be something that has been covered one too many times. Again the film is not terrible but very forgettable as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

The Black Sleep (DVD) – All-star cast in this mid-50s horror film led by Basil Rathbone as a doctor that is looking into other means of furthering brain surgery. His methods are considered illegal but he claims he has made breakthroughs as he helps a fellow doctor out of prison before he hangs for a crime he did not commit. The good doctor has practice patients that he performs brain surgery on in hopes of discovering the cure for his wife’s brain tumor thanks to his gypsy friend. But the gypsy friend soon is being investigated by Scotland Yard as people are disappearing from London. A fun quick B-movie with an all-star cast that needs to be seen as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Yep, we went commentary crazy yesterday and Josh was there for the fun.

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For our Black Friday Commentary for the all time classic THE EVIL DEAD.  With Kyle, Josh from down the road, and Tim. 

 

http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

 

Evil Dead