Tag Archives: Anthology

Gross Movie Reviews #690

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Infinite Santa 8000: Web Series (YouTube) – Before there was a full feature there was this holiday animated horror treat that was just mind blowing and thought it was time for a revisit for those of yinz that haven’t witnessed the awesomeness. The web series was conducted into 13 short episodes that ran a little over two minutes (a couple seconds less or more on a couple) paired with some bad ass thrashing music for the intro and outro. This story is set in a post-apocalyptic world a thousand years from now where all that is left is mutants and Robo people. Believed to be the only one left Santa lives a quiet life but he also must kill for food these days in order to survive these harsh future times. The mystical man is also a gun totting, machete wielding, flame throwing son of a bitch as mutants find ultimate death at his hands. But in a world with no hope a young girl named Martha comes into Santa’s life as they become quick friends. Unbeknownst to either Martha is a pawn used to get Santa out of hiding for an evil doctor to do experimentation on the fat jolly old fool for his magical powers of survival all these years. Santa and Martha escape the evil doctor’s clutches for now in search of a safe place in the wasteland but in this sadistic creature filled future there is nowhere to hide! The music is bad ass, the animation is wonderful, and after all these years the story still holds up as I always like to call this “Animated Santa in Mad Max world”. So this holiday season do yourself a favor and go watch this “FREE” web series on the YouTubes n’at to check out what some cool Indie folk did about 15 years ago as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars.

10/31 Part 4 (Blu-ray) – The popular Indie anthology series is back with a few stories and trailers to scare you. The first story called ‘Ejecdead’ focuses on a VHS tape brings a killer to life on Halloween when watched as a crazy horror fan tries to keep a Halloween tradition alive finds out the hard way after renting it. The second story ‘Haig’s Heart’ is about revenge as an owner of a chocolate bar factory gives away all his stock for Halloween as he poisoned it all. The third story ‘The Witch’s Curse’ revolves around sisters being witches and being slaughtered in 1969. Now their home has become part of a reality show for Halloween. The fourth story ‘Moonlight Massacre’ is about a young man being bitten by a werewolf then trying to deal with it. The trailers in-between stories were a lot of fun, my highlight of this whole project may have been ‘The Gravestalkers’ trailer as that looks to have a lot of potential if made into a feature? Anyhow everything was solid in this entire project but this anthology felt more forced than natural if it makes sense? Plus I have felt the last entry; Part 3 was the best of the bunch where everything finally came together. It’s possible this might be the time to put this Halloween tradition to bed as it may have run its course as I liked the effort this time around but this series may have peaked with the third film as I give this 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Hand that Feeds the Dead (Blu-ray) – This rare early 70s Euro film stars the infamous Klaus Kinski and up until recently was believed to be lost here in America until Full Moon gave it a proper release with subtitles over the past year or so. This time piece has a professor secluded to a mansion with his so-called wife where he kidnaps young women to perform experimental skin grafts to said wife in hopes of correcting her injuries she suffered in a fire ten years ago. As females from the village continue to disappear and a stranded couple at the mansion becomes curious with authorities Kinski’s character knows he must finish his work sooner than later. As usual Kinski is bigger than life on screen and sleazy as usual as this lost euro film will fill the black hearts of some horror fans as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Space Goblins (YouTube) – An animated short film that has a duo of space goblins who are bounty hunters that somehow feels like a lost idea from MTV’s ‘Liquid Television’ for those weirdos old enough to remember it. In this 26 minute galactic weirdness has the odd duo tracking down a criminal to a planet with a bar called “The Glory Pole” as long as they ain’t bitching about goblin life in space and paying taxes they always get their man or alien! An odd but hilarious project that could even be described as a dark episode of ‘Galaxy High’ Saturday morning cartoon as the space goblins scour the galaxy to bring in the crud for payment in hopes of bringing peace for all. This is a project has quite a lot of potential as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (Remake/Theater) – So this was the second time around for the 1984 classic to remade that caught myself and a lot of horror fans by surprise of being made. Of course being a huge fan of the original I had to see what the hell they were going to do this time around… and folks I really liked this one! Without trying to give things away because I feel this remake needs to be seen to be believed as the filmmaker and writers flipped this story on its head. What do I mean by this? They figured out how to pay homage to the original but at the same time understanding retelling of the original story just wouldn’t work these days. Best way to describe this film: Killer Santa somehow transforms into an anti-hero who at one point kills Nazis! Yes, folks all the elements of the original with Billy becoming a Killer Santa are there but they do it in such a glorious way for 2025 that we even get the famous line: “It’s Garbage Day”. This is one of those remakes that I am curious to see if it makes an impact enough for horror fans to enjoy two or three holiday seasons from now as that 2012 remake was solid but missed the point of the 1984 original. You gave me lots of blood, an odd take on Killer Santa that surprised me it worked, and finally a small town in a horror film where everyone is a POS, for that I cannot believe I am saying this I give this project 4 stars and wouldn’t be surprised it sneaks into my “top ten” for 2025. Horror fans seriously don’t miss out on seeing this film in the theaters it was a lot of fun!

The Mean One (Tubi) – Finally giving this a watch that is the horror version of ‘The Grinch’ oh I am sorry legally they are not allowed to call that as they call “it”, ‘The Green Monster’ or ‘The Mean One’. Cindy returns to her family home many years after her mother was supposedly killed by a green monster in a Santa suit on Christmas. With her appearance and wanting to celebrate Christmas in the town that doesn’t celebrate the holiday any longer she brings death as ‘The Green Monster’ reappears again. Of course the cops claim they don’t believe her and want Cindy to go away but after Cindy does training and becomes bootleg Lucy Lawless for a hot minute she is ready to go hunting for this creature. The film parodies ‘The Grinch’ from beginning to end but what I was looking for never happened unless you consider the green monster was supposed to be Santa Claus??? I wanted an explanation to this thing and how it existed, not a feature length horror parody that cannot legally use the name. I know it’s cruel but this was just above a large turd as I give it a ½ star.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #670

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Black Candles (Plex TV) – For starters this film is available on streaming but also had a recent Blu-ray edition and keep in mind its Spanish for those who hate reading subtitles. Anyway getting into the meat of this 1982 film, Carol’s brother dies abruptly so her and her partner fly out to the middle of nowhere to be with the sister-in-law Carol who isn’t impressed with. Within minutes arriving Carol questions Fiona the widow because of the strange circumstances she feels in her mind. It doesn’t help Carol when she arrives at the mansion she immediately smells strange smells, hears her brother’s ghostly voice, hell she has a dream of bumping uglies with her brother… Which that is when I questioned if I tapped into some weird PornHub video or I was watching some serious softcore shit? But also if you didn’t know there is some serious Satanist shit going down in this film because they got some goat fucking going on kids! While all this is going on Fiona seduces Carol’s partner with the sex, orgies, and SATAN! But it’s already too late (maybe?) as Carol is supposed to be Satan’s bride as this coven punishes a dude with a sword to the anus! I won’t ruin the ending but I will say buckle up kids for full bush and you questioning if you are watching a horror film or a full blown porn either or I was entertained as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Freaky Tales (Internet) – For as advertised and heavily waited for this movie got pooped out there into the universe long before its release dateso that leaves way too many questions that has nothing to do with the film. Anyway, I will say the filmmakers got the formula of an anthology down right for this very loosely based tale or tales on events that happened in 1987 Oakland, California. First story is about teenage punks protecting their hangout from Nazis, second story is about two girls getting their chance of a lifetime of being rappers at a rap battle, third story is about a guy who is paid to collect debts and wants to retire, and the last story is about Sleepy Floyd the basketball player which I found the most interesting tale of the whole film. To me at least the film felt heartless, felt like this film sat on a shelf for a couple years before its release to the internet, and really felt like a more of a west coast thing if that makes sense. Or as I like to say to save time, “this film wasn’t made for me” as I felt like I had to sit through 80 minutes of a boring movie to see what I really wanted to watch as I can only give it 1 ½ stars.

Shivers Me Timbers (Amazon) – So there is a third horror film about Popeye and this one sucks goat balls to put it plainly if you are asking me. This version decides to go the lazy way in my opinion of trying to put a plot together of being 80s nostalgia claiming it is based on real murders? Takes place in 1986 when Halley’s Comet was a big thing and strange things happen around it when a small ass meteor enters a pipe of an old fisherman. This is how he becomes mutant Popeye or in my opinion A.I. Popeye bullshit! He quickly finds teenagers out in the woods looking to watch the comet so he can murder horribly only for the film to become a crappy image of several past horror favorites that this doesn’t even come close too? The movie was made in Scotland which explains a lot because honestly I would be surprised if the people there really knew Popeye or the impact of the cartoon had but that is for another conversation as I can only give this tragic piece of poop 1 star.

Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (DVD) – A Hammer film on so many levels that leaves you with you so many questions because it has such a different vibe for a vampire film along with why there weren’t several sequels? First off it needs to be stated for this 1974 film that it stars the timeless beauty Caroline Munro! But this basic story in the English countryside has a couple of young women drained of their youth that has the interest of Kronos and his traveling professor companion since the war ended and  they now have been fighting a new war against vampires. What’s new and still different till this day at the same time is this odd vamp flick sets up a whole other set of rules and explains even within the film not all rules apply to every vamp. If you are a young horror movie lover or old this movie has a kind of timeless effort and a different vibe than your usual Hammer flick for the mere reason of this odd vamp plot. Without giving too much away as I have watched this three times in my life and believe I have seen something different like John Carpenter’s The Thing is the film comes down to a very dark family secret that is unknown to all. I love the concept and I am curious why some of the most recent so-called talented filmmakers haven’t tackled this as a remake or a sequel as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Jules Verne’s Mysterious Island (DVD) – It is weird to say what I grew up on and how many movies I watched in my life to never come across this film? The film’s plot begins in a Civil War prison in Virginia at the end of the war where some soldiers who are prisoners plot to steal a hot air balloon during a devastating rainstorm. The escapees get off the ground but after a long travel is forced to an island where they must help each other to survive. What also throws the characters off is everything on the island they encounter is giant! When Captain Nemo happens to show himself they come to learn Nemo had traveled here or shipwrecked in so many words has been doing experiments to better human life in the future but has a dire warning about the island itself as they all must leave sooner than later. This 1961 film is more adventure than a horror film and is a great intro for the younger audience into how special effects can help a film as I give it 3 stars.

Robot Holocaust (Blu-ray) – Oh this beauty has popped up again since a legit Blu-ray for whatever crazy reason has made it out into our lives but for those that don’t know this is a product of Wizard Video/Empire Pictures. Yep, Charles Band kids… but it is an actual film made by Tim Kincaid of ‘Mutant Hunt’ fame but this can also be a prequel to Robot Jox, Robot Wars, Crash and Burn. Anyhow in this low budget post-apocalyptic world the robots have long took over and the humans are slaves in most places. But in the location of New Terra (or in the rumble of certain parts of New York) humans are alive and well but slaves who are used to fight each other for sport until Neo arrives. Neo is a product of the wastelands that has somehow survives the atrocities of the wastelands to come and start a revolution against the robots. He helps lead them to a power station to go fight the darklord for their freedom.  Hilariously fun and stupid at the same time this film was literally out of print for many decades as it would randomly show up as a bootleg or on a channel for a one time watch so you be the judge as I was just happy it had a legit physical copy. The movie might not be much to desire but the interview on the Blu-ray might explain some things as I give it 2 stars but will never turn down watching this one more time as it looks glorious in this restoration.

Final Recovery (Tubi) – A moderate budgeted Indy film that stars Richard Tyson plays with some uncomfortable realistic storylines… Addiction, recovery, etc., you understand what I am saying? Not a laughing matter as this film takes this subject very seriously begins with 1974 a young lady seeing her father confronted with an addict and killed. Decades later, Nanny Lou runs a present day treatment center called SAGE. This is supposed to be a safe place for addicts and this is where Rodney our main character comes in. Rodney is our everyday addict having trouble sticking to the program with the exception he does have an excuse as he doesn’t trust Nanny Lou? Her effort is there but for nefarious reasons. After Rodney is brought back to the facility once again he finds a friend there and explains Nanny Lou cannot be trusted as it’s all about the money but patients start to disappear on a more regular basis which also raises the red flag. A great movie with a very black passionate heart that tackles a tough subject of life with some wonderful characters you will grow attached too. The film is smart, evil, and playful all at the same time as I give the feature 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Realm of Shadows review

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Realm of Shadows (DVD/Tubi) – An anthology of sorts of the weird, the occult, or the abstract where four ladies sit around a Ouija board for evil reasons and the board tells stories as it supposedly opens an evil realm. All the segments are quick, interconnect, and the anthology unlike most gets out in less than 90 minutes. Along the way we even get an appearance from the legendary Tony Todd, and the wonderfully exciting Vernon Wells. I guess you could say the film goes more for playing on fear than trying for the sheer terror aspect? This film doesn’t come off as an anthology for the straight up die hard horror fan as much as the occasional movie viewer who looks to wet their horror appetite once or twice a year outside of Halloween with Tubi or Netflix. Having the two known celebs on the cover won’t hurt so for that I gotta give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

It’s a Wonderful Slice review

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It’s a Wonderful Slice (DVD/Vimeo) – So I was privileged enough to check out a not released yet holiday Indy flick from an unknown filmmaker to me, Michael Moutsatsos (hope I spelled that right?). Anyway, Michael goes an unconventional route of holiday anthology story telling that gives the viewer a history lesson of Santa, Krampus, and a mischievous elf on their killing ground that eventually leads into the introduction of the storyteller. When the storyteller appears this is where the real movie begins as he ties together five quick holiday horrors that a man being sliced in his shower, a friend using wolves as cover for a murder, Santa attacking a couple in the woods, Satan controlling a man, and finally a beautiful woman toying with her victim. The story telling isn’t breaking new ground (but unconventional) as I quite enjoyed how the filmmaker went about putting everything together in this no budget production using a small if not same cast in each segment and using maybe three sets or areas the whole film. Otherwise, knowing what you have (not much) using it to your advantage and a high budget glossy look along the way. How to put it: when I see something like this I already know this might not be the filmmaker’s best work to date but it shows me they are usually testing or experimenting of putting together something even more entertaining in their next project or the one after that? Again anthologies can be a tough sell since a lot of filmmakers make them these days but these stories are quick, don’t linger, and you got someone dressed as Santa slaughtering people and quite simply you are going to have Indy movie viewers smiling in the end as I give this 2 out of 4 stars.

Cryptids review!

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Cryptids (Dropbox) – Justin M. Seaman and Zane Hershberger at no time are not working on a project as they put together with some other filmmakers an anthology that uses the “Mothman Festival” as a back drop and the legendary movie host Joe Bob Briggs as Harlan Dean a radio host for a program about Cryptids. For this week’s show Harlan has asked callers to call in with stories that deal with cryptozoology! First story deals with a legend of “Melon Heads” or young people who were experimented on instead of being taken care of by their doctor and escaped the facility to live in the woods. Second story is about a park ranger and his partner facing off with a group of Sasquatches deep in the woods while looking for lost campers. (Which I quite enjoyed the ending) The third story is the hilarious entry of the bunch that I think holds the anthology together of a man who disappears in the woods after he finds a monstrous fish creature and has what seems like an acid trip? This story works well for where it is as it releases a little pressure of the tension that was built up by the first two stories. Fourth story is set on Halloween where a fisherman brings home a mysterious rock/large egg thing that he wants to use for his set up that night. Problem is the thing hatches and now little ghoulish things are running rampant through the house. The fifth is about two chupacabras chasing down individuals in a building for the fun of the Mexican cartel who watch it on closed circuit TV. The last story involves two young men who decide to have a monster hunt for a mysterious animal that may or may have not been eating all the neighborhood animals recently to set up a prank. The anthology comes in at a brisk 76 minutes with all entries being quite delightful and entertaining experiences into cryptozoology. The project is well casted, well shot, as has Justin and Zane showing off their talents once again in the world of low budget filmmaking as I give this anthology 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Gross Movie Reviews #540

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Gross Movie Reviews #540

The Beast Beneath (DVD) – In a small town of Desert Valley, California an earthquake wakens its residents in the middle of the night with its shakes and simmers but nothing is thought of it. But this event has caused a monster to emerge from its slumber in the desert and it is time for the beast to snack on its new food source… humans! After a few people go missing the local authorities get involved and act like the disappearances are not that big of a deal but the mayor knows and wants it kept quiet. The beast is brought to the attention of a brilliant scientist (Brinke Stevens) and she is trying to work on a quick answer for the monstrous problem but when someone being attacked is caught on social media the mayor and police have no choice but to blow it up. The build-up of this low budget monster flick was a lot of fun and on par with what we used to get from SyFy Channel in the mid-2000s but the ending or non-ending was not the payoff I think viewers will be looking for as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Stale Popcorn & Sticky Floors (DVD) – Another cool documentary that covers some of the memorable grindhouse, horror, and B-movie titles from the 70s and 80s we grew up watching. There is interviews and stories from such stars of iconic films such as Lynn Lowry, Camilla Carr, Brinke Stevens, and a host of others. And people let’s not forget Frank Farel is on here telling more stories about one of my favorite films of all time ‘Spookies’! The doc separates itself enough from others as the stars tell stories about one film that was picked such as an ‘I Spit on Your Grave’. This title doesn’t come off as interviews as much as you the viewer just grabbed a beer with said star and you are ready for story time and for that I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Cult of the Cobra (DVD) – A bunch of U.S. service men on leave pay a hundred bucks to be sneaked into a secret meeting to witness a woman who has the ability to change into a snake. To their disbelief she does but one of them tries to take a photo and a scuffle ensues and the service men attempt to kidnap this special oddity. She gets away and of course the men are all warned they will all die but they don’t care as their deployment is over and they are heading home for good. Some time passes by and the men settled into their homes back in New York not knowing the precious snake woman has traveled there to seek her revenge. One by one the men fall but the snake woman might be having a change of heart as one of the men has taken time to be very friendly with her let’s say as I give this mid-50s flick 2 stars.

Death Rink (DVD) – The film is set in the year 2001 at the “Roller King!” roller skating rink where Rachel the manager is hanging out with the younger employees for an impromptu birthday party. They play games, smoke tea bags, eat pizza, discuss the lawsuits against the roller rink, along with wondering who in the hell is the person or ex-employee that calls every night to yell “Satan” into the phone. Things are going great and the fun is starting to whine down as everyone wants to leave at some point including Rachel as her boyfriend finally called her back… But an unwanted guest has found their way into the rink while they close up shop. This unknown individual slowly kills the employees one by one. Everything about this movie screams I should love it. Now don’t get me wrong this isn’t a horrible horror film as it had a great cast, great dialogue, some blood, great location, but it all just didn’t add up to success for me as I thought this film could have pressed the gas and gone over the top? Instead I felt the film found a way to limp over the finish line in the end as I give it 2 stars.

The Earth Dies Screaming (DVD) – This is a quick mid-60s post-apocalyptic flick where one day people around the world all die at the same time except for a select few. After a small group of people find themselves holed up at a hotel they figure out they were not in the open when this all happened and believe it could have been a gas attack? To make matters worse generic alien robots walk and a “zombie pace” and cannot be killed by guns but their asses are no match for a jeep. And just when the humans thought they were screwed enough, “oh yay if you are killed by an alien they zombified your ass and control you.” The only hope is if these select few humans figure out how to stop these slow ass trash cans from taking over the world as I give it 2 stars.

Brimstone Incorporated (DVD/Vimeo) – An interesting low budget anthology film directed by Indy vets James L. Edwards and Brad Twigg. The three stories are straight forward serious horror stories which are usually hard to pull off in the low budget world but this crew did it as the titles are: First Date, Mama’s Boy, and Skunkweed. And the wraparound story is called Temper and Associates but we will get to that in a bit. Without spoiling too much First Date gets a little uncomfortable (watch for the kiss you’ll understand), second story Mama’s Boy is not exactly what you think it is which makes it a pleasant surprise, and the third story is about a man who may have been given bad weed? Or was it? But the most interesting thing was the wraparound story as these days seems to be a throw away in the Indy world in my opinion. But these fine filmmakers took a cue possibly from 70s British anthologies and made the wraparound their strength as a character from each story is being reviewed by Gregory to decide where they will fit in “down here or in the corporation”. The Gregory character was actually my favorite thing of the anthology but this film is based more on the great performances from the actors than just throwing gallons of blood and gore against the wall. This is an anthology I will be pointing out to people for years to come as this cast was one of the best I seen for an Indy anthology in years. So if you are looking for a great not subpar Indy anthology look no further than this new feature Mr. Edwards and Mr. Twigg as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Tales From the Gross Side project is looking for your help!

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Drunken Yinzers Presents: Tales From The Gross Side. The third film from Drunken Yinzers Productions. An anthology, based on the stories of Tim Gross.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/drunken-yinzers-presents-tales-from-the-gross-side/x/3372429#/

Support the next project…

Well folks this is it! Our big ass announcement! Beginning in August, Drunken Yinzers Productions will begin principal photography on a new film. It’s an anthology horror film based on the insane stories of our co-founder Tim Gross! This will be the most ambitious production we’ve done so far and that’s why we need some help from our fans, friends, and all yinz jagoffs. This film will have some cool F/X from our friend Angel Thunder Scorpion O’Connor and we need your hard earned cash to get her the stuff she needs to make it work. So please donate whatever you can. There’s a lot of cool perks for helping us out too. Seriously weird shit! Also we’re asking everyone to share the hell out of this thing over the next few months. Get it as far out into facebook land as you can. Or any social media platform. We love you guys and can’t wait to bring you this new film. It’s gonna be a blast! Thanks again for donating and sharing. We owe yinz a perogi dinner!

Gross Movie Reviews #522

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Gross Movie Reviews #522

III: Final Contagium (DVD) – So first of all the title since it isn’t from the US I have seen a couple ways you the viewer are supposed to say the title: a) the way I have written it, b) I also had someone explain to me it was (ILL: Final Contagium) which makes some sense for what the film is…, c) also I have had one person email me claiming it is third in the series (which after a very short internet search it is not, but that dude insisted, hahaha). Anyway folks we have a film that is broken into four segments like anthology of sorts where a deadly virus has been unleashed. What connect all the stories are the ongoing news reports on television and radio throughout the segments has four filmmakers contributed to this project. First story is a man picking up a dying woman, second story is about a man seeming like he is helping another out on the street, third is about body modifications going wrong, and the fourth story is about a man trying to save his son at the edge of the end of the world. It is a gooey, fun, disturbing watch for all as I give it 3 stars.

 

Scalps (DVD) – Not the horror film but a western from 1987 that was written by no other, Bruno Mattei! A confederate officer of a Texas fort refuses to admit the Civil War is over and it is time to put down arms. (Sounds very close to what is going on in Washington D.C. right now). Still believing in the war and they have yet to surrender the officer sends troops into Indian land to ravage the land and steal a squaw he fancies. She escapes on the travel back to the fort and finds a lonely rancher who retired from the mess that was called the confederate army after his wife was raped and killed. Both farmer and Indian dislike each other but that doesn’t stop these two from hating this little army of soldiers more as they both have issues with them. So as they try to escape they dish out their own kind of justice to this army as they are to be tracked down and killed. I give this interesting western 2 ½ stars.

 

Interviewing Monsters and Bigfoot (On Demand) – Tom Green is a Missouri forest ranger who is always giving a guy they call the professor trouble because he is always in search of Bigfoot. The professor is a widow and lost his wife in an accident when they witnessed Bigfoot years ago and thus setting in motion his search. The Bigfoot sightings are up again and the professor and crew are setting up a trap for it. But unknown to them the forest ranger and the government actually know that Bigfoot exists! The film has monsters, hillbillies, Bigfoot Hunters, a demented forest ranger, and a cover up by a government agency called M.I.G. This sounds like a wonderfully hilarious formula but once the film gets halfway through it seems to lose its way and quickly becomes a hot mess that had potential as I give the film 2 stars.

 

Max Reload and The Nether Blasters (On Demand) – First, I totally believe this film was just pooped out there in the movie verse just because… But second, this film is what you would call a very nostalgic nerd fest that will have viewers loving it or super annoyed and not finish watching the film. The film has some comi-con all-stars and its plot is about a cursed Collecovision game called ‘The Nether Blasters’. (I kept calling it an Atari 2600 game on our Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast, lol.) Anyway, Max is a young gamer who works the local gaming store owned by Kevin Smith who is about to spend a weekend in the VR world.  Max being pressured by his father, Martin Kove to go to that tech school to build games but Max is a slacker. So it isn’t unexpected an old dude known as the ‘Harvester’ leaves an old Collecovision and one of a kind thought to be lost game  ‘The Nether Blasters’ and of course Max plays it and beats it quickly. Just like today’s generation he posts his walk through online and this causes the game demons to start taking over all who play. The game quickly goes global and it’s up to Max, his two friends, and the creators to destroy this Harvester and his plans. As the Harvester collects souls and gains them through gameplay. I give the film 2 ½ stars as it has its moments but also feels like one of those movies you will forget about within the hour after.

MILFS vs. Zombies (DVD) – Another Brad Twigg creation that five seconds in has zombies rampaging a small community. No real reason for the undead walking earth again other than they are chomping on the people and eventually fight the MILFS! It takes about hour or so in before we get to see MILFS fighting zombies so in between all that you literally get to see 25 or so independent horror ideas thrown in to see what works… If anything? We get a zombie critter, a sex party, a mer-man, naked zombies, dick ripping, a guy acting like a dog, bad husbands, and even a dead man’s spirit throwing a machete to his wife to defend herself against the zombie horde. I am sure Brad Twigg wasn’t setting out to remake Romero’s ‘Day of the Dead’ so I believe he may have missed what he was actually going for here. As with a title like that the film should have established the MILFS fighting the zombies from the beginning and still could have had all your random nudity. I give the film maybe 2 stars as for me it comes off as just throwing random stuff into a film more than having an actual plot or structure to what is going on?

 

The Cape Canaveral Monsters (DVD) – This deep dive into drive-in monster obscurity had me watching a 1960 flick where aliens show up on earth to cause issues for the US space program that we now call NASA. The aliens arrive and quickly cause a car accident to take over the couples’ bodies inside. Once the bodies are taken over it is time cause havoc and communicate with other aliens through a fish bowl in a cave they are hiding in. The film is a friendly reminder of fun B-movies to watch from the past but also to actually truly enjoy it would be to watch it at a drive-in with a couple other features of the same ilk. For that I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Die-B-Que (DVD) – Supposedly this is a 1986 S.O.V. film that runs about 32 minutes long from filmmaker Jackson Furley, which also looks to be his only film. Apparently the film with some lost footage got put back together in 2011 for S.O.V. fans to enjoy the lost film. The story is about friends who are traveling to a big BBQ party that is interrupted by a rodent infecting their food and drink with its anal leakage. As the party goers ingest the infected food and drink they become zombies ready to attack their friends. But the film ends quickly after it gets going with some behind the scenes footage afterwards. It isn’t anything too exciting but being a fan of these low budget projects it would have been awesome to see what else they would have filmed or put together in their end product. I give the S.O.V. flick 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #517

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Gross Movie Reviews #517

 

Scare Me (Shudder) – So this was the other horror film released this year with the same title ‘Scare Me’ where two strangers meet in the middle of nowhere to tell each other stories. Fanny and Fred meet while jogging one morning. Fanny – the best-selling scary and Fred – some random dude who works on ads and tries to get away from real life to see if he can make his dream happen? A power outage sends Fanny over to invade Fred’s space or cabin to order pizza and tell stories to each other. This would have made a great teleplay to play out on radio that I have listened too on many Friday nights driving back from Cinema Wasteland. I know I am going to catch heat for this popular film. But if you like an over 100 minutes of two actors who are reading a script to you the viewer and Chris Redd from SNL does cocaine halfway through for a break then you’ll be in your glory! I personally found the movie meh and not for me but I believe this was a film literally aimed at a certain audience and that was it as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Reflection (YouTube) – A super creepy short film from filmmaker Philip Brocklehurst where a man looks into the mirror too long and sees another reality. Scary thought is the other reality wants in more often than not as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.

Tales of Frankenstein (Vimeo/DVD) – This is an anthology that is a little different and interesting for ‘Frankenstein’ fans. Donald F. Glut takes some of his short stories he written and turns them into a film that Victor Frankenstein is the running theme throughout the anthology. The stories are set from 1887 to 1957 and vary throughout: the first story gives us an origin and a love story, the second is about greed, the third is a film noir involving a detective and a mad doctor, and the last story gives Frankenstein fans a little of everything including being set in Transylvania. I absolutely enjoy the twist on an old monster and its tales and doing it in the format of an anthology works brilliantly! A couple decades ago the film ‘Frankenstein Unbound’ proved you can tell a perfect story differently and if anything add to its mythology. Mr. Donald F. Glut does this without effort but my only complaint is the film looks way too clean (if that makes any sense to yinz film junkies)? Cinema fans this independent anthology is worth tracking down and making it a part of your collection and for friends to enjoy as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Big Freaking Rat (DVD) – This film is a prime example of an idea that could be so awesome but ruined because nothing was totally seen through and looks more like crap just being thrown at the wall. Now I never expect an amazing giant rat movie every time out but I do expect a legit fun rat movie and this was not it. The film stars Felissa Rose a favorite among most horror fans who stars alongside a park ranger named Chief Brody who has supposedly help clean up a camping destination that was abused for years. Unbeknownst to him because two hillbillies dumping toxic waste into the lake a “Big Freaking Rat” is running around beheading humans and munching on their flesh to live. Before he can ever get the camping site up and running he must deal with the large rodent issue as it quickly boils down to teenagers and an exterminator vs. a large rat which was done with practical effects most of the time. Instead of keeping it simple and giving us a long lost SyFy Channel flick we get a movie that has you asking way too many questions during it instead of enjoying the “Big Freaking Rat” as I give it 1 star.

 

Theater of Blood (DVD) – An absolute gem of a film starring Vincent Price who is a stage actor about to make a comeback. His critics were so rude and shitty to the great Shakespearean actor he commits suicide in front of them. Two years go by and the critics start dying of horrible deaths in Shakespearean ways. Some of them believe the great play actor has returned from the grave but the authorities have trouble believing the story. But as the bloody bodies keep piling up they need to close this case before all the famous London critics are dead. This was my first time watch and like ‘House on Haunted Hill’ it just seems Vincent Price does his best work when the filmmakers allow him just be Vincent Price. Some decades have passed since this film’s release but this is an absolute treat for any horror movie fan as Vincent Price playfully allows his goons to destroy his critics until the ultimate climax! I just smiled how wonderful this film was from beginning to end as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Mummy (DVD) – This 1959 remake of the Universal Pictures classic got many people to pay attention to Hammer films as it stars Peter Cushing as John where his father, friend and himself discover a long lost tomb of Princess Ananka. When they open it they are warned to leave it alone or a curse would fall upon them. After the tomb is opened and some time passes the Mummy (played by Christopher Lee) is revived by a scroll and it wants revenge on all who were a part of opening the tomb. The film is absolutely beautiful looking but Christopher Lee literally steals the film as The Mummy and how he portrays it. Never got into Hammer Studios this is a good place to start as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Sebastian’s Unholy Flesh (YouTube/DVD) – Dakota Ray’s (writer, director, and actor) latest effort is about a shift in the universe or this case Lucifer dying for an unknown reason. This sets in motion a demonic presence known as Sebastian who sets forth and becomes flesh in order to obtain “The Unholy Book”. Just because this old evil is looking for the book that can destroy all mankind doesn’t mean other unholy evils are not looking also. The book changes hiding places on a regular basis but Sebastian quickly learns how to get it but keeping it becomes a much bigger issue as other demons want to fight to death in order to handle this great power! Dakota Ray goes super dark with this evil flick and is a cool slow burn. My only complaint on this ultimate evil tale might be I was expecting a satanic bloodbath but never got it. Understand that did not stop Mr. Ray and crew from putting together a fine tale about what would happen if the devil died? I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and can purchased at https://www.storenvy.com/stores/868254-dakota-ray-r-a-productions .

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #484

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Gross Movie Reviews #484

 

Elevator (YouTube) – All around cool filmmaker Jim Stramel is back with his latest short film that involves a woman and a man who get on an elevator together. They do not know each other but it is about to get very interesting… Both take turns having their worlds going weird and gory. Could it be sexual tension? Just two deranged individuals happen to get on the elevator? Or is it something even stranger? You be the judge as this was a cool treat to see from Mr. Stramel as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Vacation Massacre (YouTube) – Oh the digging I go looking for ‘massacre’ films as unearthed this unknown S.O.V. flick that’s claims 2001? A few kids head out into the woods with their pump action pellet guns to go hunting. While out there they come across a dead body that begins a series of events once back at their tent. They awake in the morning to it all being a dream but then it all begins to actually take place. Not bad for a couple of kids that most likely stole the parents camera for filming but seems to be a bit unfinished? Anyway if you are a fan of S.O.V. stuff it’s fun checking out this 2 star project… Yes, there is much worse out there.

 

Welcome Home, Brother Charles (DVD) – Charles is up to no good as usual because bottom-line is he needs to make his money and isn’t gonna let the ‘man’ get in the way. But after meeting up with partner at the local hotel they have noticed they are being watched by the ‘man’. The two run in different directions with Charles getting picked up by the police. For what charge not totally sure but one detective isn’t satisfied with running Charles down but beating him up while in handcuffs and then taking a straight razor to his manhood. For this Charles gets three years in the slammer. After being released Charles is a reformed man and wants to stay out of trouble. Understanding it is tough he meets up with a new woman and stops her pimp about to put a beat down on her. Things are looking up for the two until that damn white cop that damaged Charles manhood is considered a local hero on the news. This sends Charles into a rage of revenge as he tracks down the individuals that wronged him, hypnotize their wives, and then strangle the white men with his snake like dong! No shit people I was not expecting this to go down and made for an eye opening exploitation flick. Well worth the watch for super dong and the ending as I give it 3 stars.

 

Dead Teenagers (DVD) – A college student heads to the library and comes across an odd notebook that is on the floor called: “Book of Lore”. He sits to read through the book that happens to have four tales of terror inside: ‘The Boo Men’ is about a young man facing his fear. ‘Full Moon Lighting’ is a tale of a young man coming back from Europe with a secret and finds his ex-girl has one of her own. ‘Skeleton Keys’ is where a young woman heads to her dead grandma’s house to sort out some things. ‘Suckers’ happens to be about a young man who is about to be out of a theater job because it is closing. But first he must fend of vampires that have infested the theater. This was literally one of those middle of the road anthologies. None of the tales sucked out loud but none of them stood out either so take that for what it is as I give the anthology 2 stars.

The Banana Splits Movie (On Demand) – I am ecstatic this film exists! Was it perfect, hell no but it was a fun gory mess of a horror film. So-called film critics, “GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF!” Why this as many other recent horror movies just upset you just to get your clicks I will never understand and maybe that is a good thing. Go be miserable for your clicks somewhere else… Anyway who would have guessed the internet joke that appeared late last year would become a reality? Was it a test or was it something always in the works? Doesn’t matter now as the horror movie is based off of a late 60s kids TV show in present day. Harley’s birthday is today and his family has plans to take him to a live taping of his favorite TV show. While the kids pour into the studio for the live taping it is learned back stage that the robots/Banana Splits will not be needed any longer as the show has been canceled. As the show must go on the Banana Splits have their own agenda as they go on a murderous rampage and kidnap children for their more evil show. I won’t get into too much detail so some of yinz horror fans can enjoy this project but I would have liked a more detailed reason on the reason for the Splits going chaotic? Like I said, “not perfect” but the project was entertaining and gory as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ghastlies (DVD) – Another Brett Kelly project released from Camp Motion Pictures that five years ago has aliens landing on Earth during a cult ritual. Now present day four ladies head out to a remote cabin for some sorority girl ritual or of course just a weekend of partying. The nerdy girl of the group wonders about and finds a VHS tape and plays it. On the tape is a young woman warning anyone who watched it that she is most likely dead but hopes the things she trapped in the fruit cellar/storm basement are also. Once disturbed the puppet creature/aliens begin to devour the humans at the cabin. Their main goal is to eat mankind one human at a time. Always been a fan of Brett Kelly so I looked forward to checking this one out but seem to be a little of a letdown. I thought I was getting an Indy version of “Gremlins”, “Munchies”, or even “Ghoulies” but came off as more of an unfinished project or a couple ideas cobbled together and not seen entirely through. I may only give this film 1 star but still a fan of Mr. Kelly and will be always on the lookout for his next project.

 

Nemesis 5: The New Model (DVD) – You know me I cannot stay from these sequels especially when the opening that explains the movie doesn’t make a whole lick of sense? In the distant future a young girl is sent into the past to be trained by a warrior named Alex to become a savior in the future to fight the Red Army. She is mostly robotic but has more human traits than other cyborgs that helps set her a part in her goal of helping mankind. I spent most of the movie trying to figure out why they didn’t fix the past if they were able to send someone back to be trained? Yeah it is nothing like Albert Pyun underground video classics we remember but you know me if they continue the series somehow I usually end up watching it as I give it 1 star.

 

Hell House LLC (Shudder) – So people come in and decide to investigate and put together a documentary on the tragic event of October 8, 2009 called “Hell House”. It is five years later and still no one has answers to what exactly happened to this Haunted House attraction that on opening night kills 15 people including the group that help build the haunt inside. Through found footage we learn the group begins to experience weird things as they live inside this old closed down hotel and turn it into a cool haunted attraction. The head of the group Alex is hell bent on keeping the haunt going so opening night they can make their money. But as the group begins to question why they are still there Alex convinces them it will be worth it once the lines grow outside opening night. When the attraction opens, chaos begins as things and demons appear, blood flows, and people begin running for their lives. A pretty decent horror flick that paranormal fans should enjoy as I give it 2 ½ stars and a better alternative to the “Grave Encounters” films.

 

Hell House LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel (Shudder) – Two years have passed since the interview with a survivor or supposedly a survivor and the disappearance of the reporter Diane. Now a woman who runs a blog is interested in the mystery and wants to investigate the hotel for some tapes that may explain everything that actually happened in the hotel and explain the event in 2009? Her and her two man crew recruits the man behind the documentary and visit along with a medium that has a new show he wants to promote. Once they walk in they soon have been checked in and become part of the legend called Hell House. Some good scares again and begins to explain some interesting back story that makes both of the films an interesting watch and rewatch as I give the sequel 3 stars.

Bad Moon (DVD) – Michael Pare is Uncle Ted out in Nepal doing work. One night Ted and his assistant decide to get buck wild when a bad ass werewolf rips through their tent and tears them a part. A couple months go by as Ted is state side and contacts his sister. Unbeknownst to the sister and her kid Ted has been changing every night ripping through any hiker or group of people wandering through the remote woods. Now the authorities investigating the brutal murders of a possible animal attack Ted moves his trailer to his sister’s house but the family dog isn’t having it. As Ted slowly slips away into the wolf taking over night after night the family dog takes upon itself to attack to protect the family. Great screenplay, great cast, cool werewolf effects, and an awesome fight between the family dog and werewolf! A wonderful 1996 werewolf movie that is unknown to a lot of horror fans. This is always my first film I mention when crazy people always say, “There isn’t any good werewolf movies.” Example: THIS FILM as I give it 4 star stuff right here werewolf fans!

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!