Tag Archives: Tim Gross

We are lazy but we have two more episodes up!

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This week we have 3 more movies to talk about.  First we have the legendary Chuck Connors in SUMMER CAMP NIGHTMARE.  Then Kyle talks about an old school werewolf flick that may or may not have to be seen through rose collared glasses in STEPHEN KING’S SILVER BULLET.  Then Tim covers mangos, mangos, mangos in STREET TEAM MASSACRE.  Also we rattle on about Kyle’s dog’s penchant to twerk.  The Academy Awards and the horror winners.  And finally the death of the big summer movie,  and Kyle’s nightmare camping weekend when he was tricked into going to a religious camp.  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This Week we return to the fold to talk about 3 movies that we pulled out of the ether,  First we cover the newest Netflix jammy jam ANNIHILATION.  Then we unearth a truly bizarre treasure of the mom and pop video store days in MIDNIGHT MOVIE MASSACRE.  And finally Kyle looks back to his childhood to talk about THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN.  Also we introduce “crap chat”.  Continue “football chat”.  And more “CHUD chat”.  And we also have random talk’s about why MITCHELL! Isn’t worth watching without MST3K.  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #434

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Gross Movie Reviews #434

 

The Last Days of Livermore (DVD) – A man travels to Livermore Cemetery to confront his love. He believes it is time to move on from the relationship to other things but has second thoughts as he wants to be with her… Think of the short film as a horror love story with a splatter of gore as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. The short film was shot in Livermore, Pa. and the Livermore Cemetery location look to be a wonderful spot for the film. For more details about the film go to:  www.facebook.com/The-Last-Days-of-Livermore .

Terrifier (On Demand) – A film from Damien Leone that I had been hearing things about for a couple years it seems. Well horror movie fans grab the Halloween candy and turn down the lights as there is a new fun Halloween holiday horror flick to enjoy! Art the Clown is out on the town Halloween night carrying his sack of goodies. Art not having much to say voice wise uses his actions to tell you what he is about to do. As Art wanders the streets a pretty young lady named Tara catches his eye and follows Tara and her friend Dawn into a pizza shop. Of course Dawn takes pics of her and the weird ass clown that keeps an eye on Tara for her social media page. From there it just gets creepy as hell as their car has a flat and Tara runs to a close by apartment building to use the bathroom. The fun holiday night goes to hell when Art the Clown shows up again to begin his bloody path to the girls and anyone that interferes. I love the whole thing of Art the Clown just existing and actor David Howard Thornton was perfect for the role. “Terrifier” wasn’t just entertaining but pure horror awesomeness as the film took the gore level up a notch with a great ‘death by hacksaw’ scene (poor Dawn)! The film was grim, gritty, and absolutely beautiful. Mark my words “Terrifier” will be one of the best horror films of 2018 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Ayla (Vimeo/DVD) – The latest from ‘The October People’ and John Portanova is a wonderful dramatic thriller about a man who spirals out of control. Elton has always tried to hold on to his dead sister. She died when Elton and his brother were young but Elton refuses to move on. He struggles daily and when Elton and his girlfriend drive out to a house to fool around he believes he is seeing her again and again. The struggle gets worse and Elton returns to the old house like he is driven to go there and find something? Next thing you know Elton is digging under a weird tree and finds his dead sister… alive and thirty years older. Beyond happy he loses connection with his girlfriend and tries to explain to his mom and brother Ayla is back and this isn’t some fake person. While doing that apparently Ayla likes to puke fluids and be naked for most of the movie. Did Elton will this to happen? Is there life after death? Is it all just in Elton’s mind and we are along for the ride? Truly weird and bizarre tale that will make you think and want to watch it again. I enjoy what ‘The October People’ are doing as they don’t stick to a certain genre and try to give you something very different movie wise than you are use too. I give this cool weirdo flick 3 out of 4 stars. For more info on the film go to: www.theoctoberpeople.net .

 

Partners (DVD) – A 1982 supposed comedy has a straight cop and a gay cop go undercover in the gay community to solve a series of murders among gay men. Some bad jokes even in 1982 and a relationship blossoming between the two cops are the main plot points of the film. Surprisingly the cast is what kept me watching the film (Ryan O’Neal, John Hurt, James Remar, and Martin Kove). The film is watchable but it isn’t a “Cruising” as I give this forgotten comedy 1 star.

 

Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper (DVD) – Once again I am watching stuff I couldn’t make up if I tried unless I was David DeCoteau? A pretty boring film full of shirtless hunks, it’s November 1971 and supposedly in the woods turkey hunting in the state of Washington. A man named Bernie now older tells a story of how and why he knows the real story of D.B. Cooper. There is a reason the authorities have never found D.B. Cooper and it’s all because of Bigfoot. And Bigfoot is a Peeping Tom apparently? Weird shit so of course I watched it as I give it a half star only for having voiceover work done by Eric Roberts and Linnea Quigley.

 

The Plague (DVD) – A small community called Love Canal in Canada has been used a toxic dumping ground for years. But the dumping ground hasn’t only been used for toxic materials as bodies have been dumped there also. But the dead are beginning to rise and forces a brother and sister out for a jog to team up with a couple criminals to survive the onslaught of zombies that are attacking. The group tries to use their cars to escape but that makes little difference as the numbers of undead begin to rise. Another independent zombie film that doesn’t exactly separate itself from the growing number of other Indy zombie films out there. They all have ‘good concepts’ but just don’t find a way to pull it off. I give the film 1 ½ out of 4 stars and you can find more out at www.foxtrotprodfilms.com .

 

The Plague 2: Biohazard Blood (DVD) – Two survivors from the first film, Becky and Jill are roaming the wasteland as the plague spread quickly through the cities and world. The world fell apart quickly as the Love Canal incident turned into full fledge zombie apocalypse. Or the filmmaker just has watched too much of “The Walking Dead”? As Becky and Jill see signs for salvation and travel to the destination until they cross a father whose child was taken from him because they escaped the sanctuary. Becky and Jill choose to help and rescue the daughter and disband this so-called sanctuary. The sequel seem to be less bloody, boring, and a “Walking Dead” clone done very cheaply as I give it 1 out of 4 stars. You can find out more about flick at www.foxtrotprodfilms.com .

 

Les Paterson Saves the World (VHS/YouTube) – A bumbling idiot that is the Australian diplomat farts while on stage during a conference and catches another diplomat on fire. As punishment he is sent to the Middle East as a favor so he could be tortured and killed. But being a complete idiot and totally unaware he escapes and helps a Russian plot to proceed. The Russian plot is a Bio-weapon of super herpes via toilet seats being placed in the Pentagon so it could infect all Americans. The diabolical plan can only be stopped by the bumbling idiot or the U.S. president Joan Rivers to give up one squillion dollars for the antidote. The 1987 film has its moments that include Hugh Keays-Byrne in leather and Barry Humphries also starring as a woman who works for the C.I.A. trying to defuse the situation. A weird comedy that I know I didn’t get all of the humor but was just glad to watch something a little different than the usual so I give it 2 stars.

 

Rise of the Footsoldier (DVD) – The film is based on a true life tough guy named Carlton Leach who rose through the ranks of feared criminals. His main business was violence and crime during the 80s and 90s. If someone needed protected, drugs sold, guns, someone beaten up? Carlton and his boys were the ones to contact if you had the cash. Leach made a living off of this for many years until some peers of his were killed in a vicious shooting that one of his friends said they were retiring. The UK accent is very thick in this film where they should have had some subtitles at times but if you are a fan of mob flicks this might be something up your alley? I give the movie 2 stars.

 

The Sisterhood (DVD) – Another Philippines post-apocalyptic flick produced from the Roger Corman Company that is about women with special powers after the nuclear holocaust. The year is 2021 and a woman and her village have just been raided by some raiders and her brother was killed. Two women warriors from a group “The Sisterhood” come by and help the young lady. The warriors of The Sisterhood are considered outcasts or witches and decide they will help track down the raiders that did this horrible deed. The female warriors believe in freedom and will put an end to the men’s’ terror with or without the help of the war wagon they find. Quite a fun post-apocalyptic B-movie that doesn’t look like it has much going for it and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Gross Movie Reviews #433

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Gross Movie Reviews #433

 

Black Water (DVD) – We have a killer action flick on a super-secret sub starring Jean Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, and Patrick Kilpatrick. JCVD is Wheeler who gets caught up in a double cross over a thumb-drive that has secrets that can be sold worldwide. Patrick Kilpatrick is the man who has brought him in and transporting him on a C.I.A. black ops sub that doesn’t exist. Wheeler’s neighboring cellmate just happens to be a German named Marco played by Dolph who cannot be killed because he knows too much and may be to high profile? When things get double-crossed again and no one to trust as people are being killed on the sub Wheeler turns to Marco for help. The movie plays out like “Under Siege” on a sub which isn’t a bad thing. The film is a lot of fun especially because of the Marco character but just feel more could have been done with this action flick. It’s good but not great and potential to be great as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Blood Moon (VHS) – An Australian slasher film from 1990 about an all-girls Catholic high school and its students being stalked and killed by an unknown killer. When a girl and her boyfriend disappear no one blinks an eye except for her best friend who feels something could be going on? But honestly she isn’t too worried as she goes to a dance and meets a dreamy dude who snuck into their dance. Soon more girls disappear and the police begin snooping around a creepy Science teacher who he and his wife have a secret? This flick is your scraping the barrel kind of slasher film that doesn’t have much substance. Remember its 1990 so I am sure this was made on mostly on the cheap. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

The Raiders of Atlantis (DVD) – Hey remember that “Cannibal Holocaust” Deodato dude? Well he made a bunch of other movies for those who may not know. And this gem is a wonderful must-see mess! Released in 1983 under the title “Atlantis Interceptors” in some countries takes “The Road Warrior” rip-off to a whole other off the wall level. Off the coast of Florida some scientists have found an artifact at the bottom of the ocean that proves the existence of Atlantis. They are going to try and move a sunken Russian sub to investigate more. When moved, the sea floor opens, a tidal wave destroys the scientific ocean platform, and a biker gang led by ‘fish bowl man’ begins murdering people on the mainland. The “Atlantis Interceptors” are back to take the mainland from these dumb humans! Never mind asking why they have customized motorcycles with swords on them and cars with guns on them? Just except this mess of a plot hole and thank me later for enjoying a great post-apocalyptic movie about two dudes trying to save the world by flying into Atlantis and fucking shit up! I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Kindergarten Cop 2 (DVD) – So twenty some years later they decided to make a sequel with Dolph Lundgren. Dolph is a F.B.I. agent who goes undercover to question six year olds about a flash drive their old teacher may have hidden? The drive has all the identities of everyone in witness protection. Of course hijinks ensue but not nearly as funny as the original from 1990 starring Arnold. But it had Dolph so I know I am in it for at least one watch as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Welcome to Willits (DVD) – This odd horror flick was a very nice little surprise from 2016. A girl (Anastasia Baranova from “Z Nation”) home from college in her little Northern California town has an uncle and aunt that have a huge weed crop they protect. Her uncle believes aliens are trying to steal his crop and do weird shit to him. This all started when he substituted something in his batch of meth not too long ago and his visions of aliens and a Dolph Lundgren cop show ‘Fists of Justice’ continue to get worse. What doesn’t help is some campers are staying nearby and stumble upon the crop and war is declared as the uncle believes he is killing aliens. This flick is a funny and unexpected gore fest! To give an extra twist is Rory Culkin who shows up as the weird hitchhiker picked up by the campers to give it that extra creep but fun horror factor. Movie fans this is well worth tracking down as I give it 3 stars.

 

In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds (DVD) – Since I have seen one and three it was only fair I eventually checked out the Uwe Boll sequel starring Dolph Lundgren. Dolph is Granger in present day. Granger gets pulled into a time warp which takes him to a distant time where he is called “The Chosen One”. He is deceived into thinking he must go up a mountain and kill the ‘Holy Mother’ who leads the ‘Dark Ones’. But he finds out the truth from the Holy Mother that he is placed into the future as an orphan to potentially return and save them all from the evil king who has deceived all who follow him. Granger’s future world depends on him stopping the king’s evil plan of a plague. Apparently they ran out of Jason Statham money and Uwe Boll had a leftover script from his “House of the Dead” projects and you have this… I give the fantasy flick 1 star.

 

4 Got 10 (DVD) – Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, and Michael Pare are all wrapped up together in this tale of a man who forgets who he is and has a van full of drugs and money. As the man tries to remember what happened, a crooked cop kills the wrong partner and a DEA agent and a drug lord have questions. Your typical direct-to-HULU/NETFLIX jams for weirdoes like me who believe those three names are always gold for action flicks. Or at least worth one watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Children of the Corn: Runaway (DVD) – So John Gulager needed a paycheck so “hey we need someone to direct the ninth entry into this useless series only Tim Gross watches?” A woman named Ruth is trying to escape her past with a cult that killed all their parents over a decade ago. She left when pregnant so her son would have a chance in the normal world. Of course evil has followed her and wants her son. The film isn’t terrible but if you are having trouble sleeping this might help you as I give it 1 star.

 

Hellraiser: Judgment (DVD) – Of course this tenth entry sucked a huge double bag of dicks! Think remake of the fifth entry “Inferno”? If you remotely know what I am talking about please turn away and don’t watch because it will make you feel stupid and angry. For the love of DOUG BRADLEY, $350,000 budget! Thank you Dimension Films for releasing another hot pile donkey shit into the world and just insulting horror movie fans, Clive Barker, and humans in general. Worst movie of 2018! Wait question what is worse? Jeepers Creepers 3 or this entry into the so-called Hellraiser series? Hold on I think I need to go drown myself in the tub while I slit my wrists at the same time. Crap film gets crap move on folks.

Surviving Evil (DVD) – So Billy Zane plays an adventure dude who does a survival show for a cable channel. Zane and his crew head to a supposedly haunted island in the Philippines to shoot their latest episode of the TV show. One of the crew knows of the legends on the island but is choosing to ignore them as he has other motives of why he is there. This crew member knows of Japanese gold that is hidden on the island and is willing to risk his friends and his own life for the payoff. But the legend becomes real when shape-shifting tribe of demons show up and sniff out one of the crew is pregnant. Apparently pregnant women to these cool demons are Yuengling to me? The movie has some great build up, Billy Zane being Billy Zane, lots of gore, and really interesting demon things! This pleasant horror film feels like a really awesome SyFy Channel film that was too awesome to be on the “Sharknado” network. This film gets 3 really kick ass demon stars.

 

Kickboxer: Retaliation (DVD) – In case you haven’t had your fill of these movies JCVD’s character Durand is blinded by a fight promoter and must help Kurt Sloane train again. But this isn’t any ordinary fight as the fight promoter is Christopher Lambert and he is a ruthless rich bastard that wants Sloan to fight a chemically enhanced fighter. So Lambert kidnaps Sloan’s wife and gets Sloan arrested and thrown into a Bangkok prison. There Sloan trains with Mike Tyson and JCVD now that he has no choice to defend his title. If you are an action film fan this will be your bonerjam or your Viagra until they give us another Jason Statham action flick? Really enjoying JCVD doing another one of these as I give it 3 stars and yes Mike Tyson still looks scary even when he is acting.

 

Dune Warriors (DVD) – A post-apocalyptic B-movie mess from 1990, the Corman group producing, and stars David Carradine. A small village is being taken over by some warlords for their water. A woman in the village has had enough and goes out to hire five warriors to help defend the village. If you like watching dumb ass shit like me you’ll enjoy it. Let’s just say it isn’t “Deathsport” or “Battletruck”. I give it barely one Carradine as he was barely there for the paycheck.

 

Lunatics: A Love Story (DVD) – This oddity is truly a love story that stars Ted Raimi as Hank, who is a writer and has not left his apartment in six months. A huge part of it is he keeps having delusions of spiders and a doctor (Bruce Campbell) trying to cut him or give him a shot. His life changes when he believes he is calling a dating line and it happens to be a pay phone. The phone is picked up by Deborah Foreman’s character Nancy, who believes she is a jinx. She just got done getting thrown out of her hotel room, dumped by her boyfriend, and shot a gang member in the foot. On a whim Nancy accepts Hank’s invite to his apartment. Nancy tries to look past all the foil and Hank’s weirdness and they connect for their love of poetry. But Nancy believing she is a jinx runs away only to force Hank to overcome his fear of leaving the apartment to go get the girl. Josh Becker put together a hilarious tale with a great cast that I believe the studios were unsure of how to advertise. When someone brings up you should watch a love story with them go with this flick as I give it 3 ½ stars and you won’t be disappointed or bored.

 

Nightflyers (VHS) – I keep getting this confused with the Stephen Machet flick with killer bats. But this is the 1987 space flick starring Catherine Mary Stewart who is a part of a crew that gets on a ship that might be alive? They are off on a mission and become more curious as they never meet the captain and the Class 10 telepath on board keeps warning them bad shit is going to happen to them. The ship computer controls everything including her son Royd who must have seen “The Last Starfighter” and “Night of the Comet” and realizes how hot Ms. Stewart is and begins to converse with her. Some boring space shit happens, then the ship tries to kill them all, and we get a scene where the telepath gets his face cut in half by a laser “Intruder-style”. Outside of the really cool death by laser scene; the movie seems to suffer several things including many rewrites most likely. But hey it is being remade into a TV show so there is that as I give this flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Argoman: The Fantastic Superman (YouTube) – Oh the shit I couldn’t make up? Sir Reginald Hoover is Argoman. An Italian Batman clone who believes saving the world and keeping peace. But also he loses his powers for six hours if he bangs hot women of 1967. Argoman’s nemesis Jenabell is busy stealing a crown and forcing France to give her all their money. When that isn’t going on Sir Reginald is busy boning Jenabell and will capture her when the time is right. The rest of the movie is Argoman escaping custody and just seeing what else he can do for fun with his amazing powers. The movie doesn’t a whole lick of sense but I was entertained and laughed several times and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

We again are lazy and have a crapload of episodes for you!

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We return this week with Tim talking about what happens when William Zabka and the little freaky kid from Children of the Corn join forces to kill a snake menacing Jenny McCarthy and friends in Python and Python 2.  And Kyle covers a nuclear attack flick that has everyone in the world in it in Miracle Mile.  We also have tech talk about how to avoid getting porn viruses, magic fire sticks, post office meth shenanigans; we also got news, reviews, and other nonsensical acting.  PLUS Flash Gordon! 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This week it’s all Stephen King all the time.  We talk about the entire King films (except the questionable sequels… lawnmower Man 2 we’re looking at you).  Also we got news on our new podcast that deals entirely with Tim’s crazy ass neighborhood, Sharknado 6 bullshit, and our fledgling Sims Graveyard Shift mill management video game.  Satanic Slurpee machines and where to find them, We discover the greatest Sasquatch mattress based commercial of all time and it’s pure god damn GOLD!  Also Kyle gets old and turns 40…                  (Kill me)

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This week Kyle rectifies a great injustice in the world and finally makes Tim watch EXPLORERS for the first time.  And in turn Kyle covers a slightly hidden gem from the mid 80’s in 1988’s HBO stalwart PULSE.  also we got Kyle’s state finally getting to buy a beer like a free man on a Sunday,  the numerous we haven’t won a Rondo award,  Kyle’s massive hatred for KISS, the top ten underrated slasher movies, and finally we talk about finally getting a god damn BLACK DYNAMITE 2!!! (Kinda). 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

IT’S HERE!!!

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Okay folks if you are ready for something completely different from me this is the project you have been waiting for? The book (Tales from the Gross Side) is a collection of short horror stories that have been rolling around in my head, unfinished movie scripts, or story ideas. These stories have been something I have wanted to write for quite a while. And now I thought it was the right time for people to get a look inside my mind. This book is something I use to do in my high school days on a regular basis writing story after story. This perhaps helps give you the idea of you should always feel young and enjoy the scary things of life?  Yeah I am not the next Stephen King, Mike Watt, or Dean Koontz just an ordinary dude who believes beer and horror movies are a religion. As long as I am on this earth I will enjoy doing what I do!

Old you would go buy it now!

Tales from the Gross Side ($7 plus shipping)

http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/tales-from-the-gross-side/paperback/product-23554233.html

First appearance will be Cinema Wasteland, April 6-8, 2018. www.cinemawasteland.com

Second appearance will be Grossfest, July 28, 2018. www.grossfest.com

Gross Movie Reviews #430

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Gross Movie Reviews #430

 

Gnome Alone (DVD) – A wonderful B-movie starring Vern Troyer as an “evil gnome” who is part of a curse and a mark that has been passed down through several generations. You wish for someone to be horribly disfigured this ugly gnome goes and takes care of it. When an old bag lady is run down by a drunken frat boy Zoe a store clerk has the mark/evil gnome passed on to her. Wanting revenge and police not helping people that were involved with the accident and the cover up begin to die and Zoe is the one to blame. It’s hilarious and corny and well worth curiosity as I give the pint-sized horror flick 2 ½ stars.

 

The Traveler (DVD) – So this movie from filmmaker Jonathan R. Skocik came to me in the mail the other day. Never mind it surprised me but it was an independent film I pooped all over back in 2006. So I took it as a sign that it was time to rewatch this Indy film and give it another chance. It is supposedly an all-new director’s cut of the film being released. Can’t hurt… But for those who don’t know the film it centers on a couple who have car troubles and find themselves at the ‘death house’ looking for help? But a few other people are already there to hang and do graffiti. To their surprise a stranger shows up explaining the only way to leave the house is to be the only one left. Each time he shows up they must vote on who dies. Of course their deaths are not swift but very torturous. As usual not my cup of tea or Indy flick but I can say this isn’t the worst movie I have seen as I said in 2006 as other horrible films have been released since: “The Christmas Season Massacre” being one of them. The acting isn’t terrible, some of the effects are good, but in the end I still don’t like the film too much. But hey people go check it out and you decide if I am right as you can find out more about the movie and the filmmaker at: www.facebook.com/BlackBootProductions .

 

The Lonely Ones (DVD) – A group of young friends head to a cabin to party and tell scary stories to each other. Some strange creatures or I should say ghouls show up to crash the party. Sounds like a fun horror film but fails as the film is a bit dull. It wastes a lot of time setting up the story between a cheating boyfriend and the girl he is trying to get back with. The ghoul idea and the weird biker dude is interesting but again the whole relationship thing drags this horror to a slow haul. For that I can only give this flick about ghouls 1 star.

Robowar (DVD-R) – Oh Vincent Dawn aka Bruno Mattei I so enjoy the messes you call movies. Don’t walk but run to your computer for this 1988 gem as Mr. Dawn pretty much made a scene for scene ‘Predator’ rip-off. Yeah, it’s not as good as that great flick with Arnold but this stars a racist robot! A strike force is sent into the jungle on a secret mission where they are to face-off with a robotics experiment gone wrong. Omega One is the robot’s name and looks like a cross between Charlie Sheen’s suit from “The Wraith” and a suit they may have stolen from Full Moon’s “Mandroid”. When Omega One isn’t destroying the strike force its busy wandering the jungle repeating, “Greasy” the whole time. A big flaming piece crap? Yes it is! Will I watch it again? Damn right I will as I give it 3 stars just because I am still laughing.

 

Pulse (DVD) – Little Joey Lawrence goes to visit his dad in California for the summer. Only problem Joey wasn’t there to be haunted by a smart pulse of electricity trying to kill him and move on to the next house. Joey spends much of the movie trying to convince his father and other people it’s real until some major accidents happen. Then we have one last showdown between the pulse of electricity and the tag team of Joey and his father. If you are a fan of TV horror movies you will enjoy this as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Axe Massacre (DVD) – A holiday horror short film where a masked Santa Claus climbs down the chimney unannounced to slaughter a family on the holy night. Fun stuff and looks cool but why did he do it and why the mask? I give this short film 1 ½ stars.

 

Machete Maidens Unleashed (DVD) – An amazing documentary that features what it was like to shoot and produce films in the 60s, 70s, and early 80s in the Philippines. Sets were built for you, labor was cheap, no laws enforced there, and Roger Corman took full advantage of this situation to produce many films and start several careers. A good portion of the documentary deals with the actresses of this time, one of them being Pam Grier who also took full advantage of the opportunity. Lots of Sid Haig and they explain why the age of filming in the Philippines went away. I give this excellent piece of history 4 stars.

 

Trailer War (DVD) – This collection of trailers really centers on some unknowns and B-movies favorites that feature Craig Sheffer, David Carradine, Donald Pleasence, Henry Silva, Hal Holbrook. This collection digs deep in the vault for films like: Inframan, The Dungeon Master, World War of Kung Fu, The Man From Hong Kong, Force: Five, Maniac Cop 2, Partners, Nightmare Honeymoon, The Scaremaker, and Shoot. If you got two hours to kill and enjoy watching trailers this is the DVD for you as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

Oh it’s real and it’s happening… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Gross Movie Reviews #429

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Gross Movie Reviews #429

 

Vengeance Runs Red (Vimeo) – A short film from filmmaker Philip Brocklehurst that tells the story of two who men who are haunted by a past mistake. A young dude takes upon himself to serve justice that is due. I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Want to find out more go here: www.facebook.com/philip.brocklehurst.9

 

War of the Dead (DVD) – The film isn’t horrible but it’s not great either. The film is just another run of the mill Nazi zombie flick that isn’t very memorable. Sorry horror folk no “Outpost”, “Dead Snow”, or “Frankenstein’s Army” here. Just keep moving along as I give this flick 1 ½ stars.

 

The Rezort (DVD) – Another fun take on the zombie genre from the UK I believe? Ten years has passed since some worldwide virus turns millions of humans into zombies. The antidote was introduced to everywhere except one island. This island has now become a ‘Jurassic Park’ of zombies where some big corporation got the idea of if you got the money they have the zombies to shoot and kill. But no one thinks how are they resupplying the stock of zombies? The story mainly revolves a woman whose father was killed during riots when the zombie virus first started to spread. She believes going to this island will get her over her nightmares and fears? Once there she has faced her fears but wasn’t counting on the zombies getting loose in the park and begin feasting on all vacationing there. Now, she and a small group of others have five hours to get off the island before the military levels the island! A wildly entertaining zombie flick folks as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Nemesis 3: Time Lapse (VHS) – I got bored and decided to fall down the Albert Pyun wormhole again and watched these not needed sci-fi sequels that feature Tim Thomerson and Sue Price. In this mid-90s sequel Sue Price is searching out and destroying cyborgs as Tim Thomerson keeps a watchful eye over her for Central Command. Central Command wants her alive at all costs. Really folks not a whole lot happens in this flick but if you are a Tim Thomerson fan I totally get why you would track this bad boy down as I give it 1 ½ stars. The film also is known as “Nemesis 3: Prey Harder”.

 

Nemesis 4: Cry of Angels (VHS) – Albert Pyun brings back Sue Price one more time for what I like to call “Nemesis 4: Sue Price Bangs all the Cyborgs”. Never mind Andrew Divoff’s head speaks about cyborg non-sense throughout the movie. Sue Price’s goal in 2080 apparently is to be naked and bump uglies with all the cyborgs and then kill them. I believe the alternative title to this flick was actually “Hardbodies 3”? But that couldn’t be confirmed or denied at this time. But the gist of the flick this time around is Price’s character fucked up at some point and now there are Hunters all over her naked muscle bound ass! It wasn’t a great flick but it was a hell of a lot more interesting than the last sequel where she sat in a desert for about 75% of the damn movie. I give the flick 2 stars and you may also find this movie under the title “Death Angel” in some countries…

Swiss Army Man (DVD) – Possibly the most bizarre, completely entertaining, and glorious film you will ever watch in your life. I do not say that lightly. Daniel Radcliffe said it best on a late night talk show, “It’s a film about farting, erections, and a dead guy.” If you do not find that funny: one, this isn’t the film for you and two, you are most likely dead inside? The film begins with a young man played Paul Dano who is trapped on a small island trying to hang himself until he sees a dead body wash up on shore. Its Manny aka Daniel Radcliffe and once he begins farting Dano’s character rides him across the water to freedom and onto an adventure that will blow your mind. They become friends, eat out, share stories, start fires, and fight a bear. You get the picture? If you haven’t witnessed this film yet make it so because the ending makes the movie even more bizarre and fun. I give this hilarious flick 4 stars farting all the way.

 

Avenging Force (DVD) – One of Michael Dudikoff’s better action flicks outside of the “American Ninja” saga. Dudikoff’s buddy, Steven James of course is running for senate. Until some rich white racist dudes with their leader John P. Ryan decide to kill him and his family. On top of that they make Dudikoff play “Surviving the Game” eight years before Ice-T did! This 80s action flick will satisfy your action flick hunger if needed as I give it 3 stars.

 

Love Eternal: The Silent Film Cut (YouTube) – Forte Films Entertainment as at it again flaunting their filmmaking talents with a cool throwback short film version of Dracula and Mina. Done their way they give ‘silent era film buffs’ a tasty treat. Wonderfully done this filmmaking group needs more support and money because I would love to see these guys making a couple features a year. I give this fun treat 3 out of 4 stars and you can find out more at: www.fortefilmsentertainment.com .

Explorers (DVD) – Holy crap folks I do not know how I missed this 1985 flick starring Ethan Hawke and River Phoenix. This was so in my wheelhouse. But after reading some of the info on it and how it was considered a flop maybe somehow it fell off my cable watching radar as a kid? Apparently this movie was over 3 hours long and I believe Paramount Studios were like “nope”, not happening Joe Dante. The film is reportedly unfinished but a finished product. Very strange stuff but anyway folks the story centers on Ethan Hawke who has a weird dream about aliens and an image. He draws it and shows it to his best friend who of course is the nerdy kid down the street doing experiments in his basement. Hawke’s character continues to have these weird dreams and once his two friends become a part of it and his nerdy best friend uses a computer to make a bubble they decide its plans for a spaceship. The spaceship consists of a trash can, an old carnival ride, microwave doors, and a computer in the movie that didn’t exist in reality but was built just for this movie. They fly around and fuck shit up until Dick Miller finds them and eventually go off planet to meet the aliens. Really not too much to the movie but it is a fun glorious kick in the ass of childhood if you are a 80s kid? I give the entertaining film 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

Oh its real and its happening… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Two new episodes for your listening pleasures

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This week we welcome back our good buddy Jon Cross to the show to talk about one of our favorite subjects DONALD PLEASENCE in HALLOWEEN 6, TREASURE OF THE YANKEE ZEPHYR, and DOUBLE TARGET.  We also chat about missing Rutger Hauer in the new Blade Runner flick,  A brief history of The X-Files, Kyle falls down a Verne Troyer based YouTube wormhole, Vietnam flicks,  The awesomeness of Paul L. Smith,  Mothra hatred, and most importantly DONALD god damn PLEASENCE!!!!

 

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This week Tim and Kyle get together to discuss a movie that is a hotly contested subject out there in internet land in THE SHAPE OF WATER.  Also we chat about a flick that could be called Victorian Ghostbusters in WINCHESTER.  And a flick about a killer clown before the glut of killer clown movies that we are getting now these days in AMUSEMENT.  Also we discover Kyle’s extreme hatred of Michael Shannon, Destroyed bathrooms, CHUDS, and other nonsensical garbage.  So enjoy!

 

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Gross Movie Reviews #428

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Gross Movie Reviews #428

 

Groundhog (YouTube/DVD) – A popular news anchor for Channel 13 is in a horrible accident that kills her on the way back from a small town ‘Groundhog Day’ celebration. Her cameraman/boyfriend Logan witnesses the tragic event and has trouble forgiving the groundhog. For the past five years Logan has used drugs and therapy to help him cope with the tragedy. Logan keeps having horrific gory visions of his dead girlfriend that is beginning to drive him out of his mind. The holiday is upon us again and Logan has finally lost his shit and has made the decision to go on a killing spree all the way back to that small town. Well of course to go kill that demented groundhog that started this whole mess. Can Logan be stopped as he leaves a bloody mess all the way to the groundhog’s doorstep? First, it’s a holiday horror flick so you had me interested right away. Second, I really enjoyed James Balsamo’s cameo. Third, someone is using a NES Duck Hunt gun in a scene. Fourth, the independent film has its flaws but David McDonough and crew kept it bloody and entertaining as I give this fun holiday horror flick 3 out of 4 stars. For more about the film go check out: www.facebook.com/Boombasticfilms .

Slaughter Drive (DVD) – Ben Dietels independent film tells the story of a man named Doug who is a filmmaker. Doug gets home feeling like a failure when his last film doesn’t go over well only to be greeted by his soon-to-be ex-wife bumping uglies with another man. With things this bad Doug tries to get past his troubles and start on his next project which has him setting up his camera in the local park. While there friends convince Doug to leave the camera and go drinking with them. Some hours pass and Doug heads back only to be confronted by a stranger who says nothing and runs off. Doug comes to regret leaving his camera in the park later as this stranger maybe his new weirdo neighbor who is killing off Doug’s friends. When Doug watches the footage of what his neighbor done Doug tries his ass off to convince police and his two best friends that he is living next to a crazed killer! It is crude, hilarious, and rough around the edges kind of slasher with some excellent effects work. It also helps many Yuengling bottles make it into scenes along with someone mentioning their buckeye in conversation… I give this hilarious film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.  Find out more at www.bpofilms.bigcartel.com .

 

Star Wars: Rogue One (On Demand) – So they went and did another prequel… But a one-off no less… And it was good. Basically if you ever wondered how or who help build the Death Star and why Darth Vader started chasing Princess Leia across the universe here is your answer. It may not have that charm of the original three but this movie did give me “A New Hope”. I give it 3 stars.

 

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Theater) – So Rey has found Luke Skywalker hoping he will save the universe? Instead he is old and still pissed that the wannabe Darth Vader kid is lame. While the First Order is destroying the Resistance, Rey learns she has abilities stronger than anybody anticipated. After believing the Jedi should just die out at last minute Luke does best “Old Ben” imitation. Just like “The Force Awakens” it’s a fun reminder what the “Star Wars” universe can be as I give it 3 stars.

 

Black Panther (Theater) – Bottom line Marvel movie fans Black Panther’s universe is much bigger than you can imagine and how much it will impact the next “Avengers” flick. For the most part this is an origin story of the character and has a kick ass villain to boot. The Black Panther isn’t all about staying hidden but believes the world needs help but first he must save his kingdom from his cousin. A cousin that was abandoned in America and not brought home after his father’s death. The film is absolutely wonderful and the landscapes are just beautiful. Marvel should be proud of the job they did with this fun film because it stands in my top five Marvel films to be rewatched over and over again. Now do me a favor and give me another damn “Blade” movie for the love of Wesley Snipes! Saying that this comic book movie is a must see as I give it 4 stars.

 

Justice League (DVD) – Once again I just feel like the DC universe rushed this story along. With Superman dead and Steppenwolf (who?) coming back to reclaim the planet Batman and Wonder Woman believe it is time to start a super team? Of course this team struggles until Superman is reborn and begins kicking ass. The movie isn’t good or bad it just exists. Now saying that again they can do no wrong with the Wonder Woman character but the film just felt forced they could have done this another way? It also feels like they tried not to fail instead of trying to take a chance with this team-up flick. Either way I will keep watching as they churn them out and just hope they do better with the Justice League world as they go on? I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Big Bad (DVD) – A lower budget off the radar monster flick that involves some teenagers involved with a school fundraiser that has them staying overnight at the old Marion County jail. Unbeknownst to them their teacher has decided to make them bait for a beast-like creature he has been tracking for decades. When he gets roughed up and leaves the kids for the next meal it is up to the three teenagers to escape the jail and the beast and find some help. It is a pleasant cornball-type of monster flick that I believe will appeal to most horror movie fans. Weird bloodthirsty creature, the jail being real, and teenagers making fun of each other about their cell phones or not bringing it. I love finding stuff like this as I give it 3 stars.

 

Hot T-shirts (YouTube/VHS) – A sex comedy about a guy named Joe who runs a bar that is about to go out of business??? Until, Joe decides to have a wet T-shirt contest on a nightly basis. And pretty much ¾’s of the film is wet boobs from 1980 so enjoy as I give it 2 stars. If nothing else besides boobs watch it for the hilarious bad bar fight.

Wastelander (Vimeo/DVD) – Sorry folks it’s not a documentary for one of the longest running horror movie conventions out there Cinema Wasteland. But it is still something unexpectingly cool. A post-apocalyptic flick directed by Angelo Lopes set in the distant future. A man known as ‘Wastelander’ or Rhyous is searching the wasteland for E.D.E.N. Many believe it doesn’t exist, many just want the tech, and Rhyous is searching for it for answers. With the world dying around him this quest consumes but there is others that what his attention. When Rhyous disagrees with all because they don’t info he seeks he becomes a marked man in the wastelands. The film gets bonus points for the pseudo-Interceptor that should have been used more and understanding the point of fun post-apocalyptic flicks of the past. Honestly I am surprised we haven’t had more films like this like we did in the early 80s when some nut had their finger on the button. The only thing missing that could have made this better is Fred Williamson and being made in Italy. Mr. Lopes I say, “Bravo my friend.” This film fits right in with the likes of: Future Hunters, The New Barbarians, 2019: The Fall of New York, etc. Hell I can easily see this being a SyFy Channel feature? Anyway thank you Mr. Lopes for not disappointing me as I give this cheesy post-apocalyptic film 3 out of 4 stars. For more details check out: www.facebook.com/wastelanderthemovie .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

Independent horror fans it is coming… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

New episode is up my friends!

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This week we take a look at a sequel to an underappreciated sports/comedy flick in GOON: LAST OF THE ENFORCERS and Tim talks about a genre classic DEMON WIND (or as Kyle calls it Bootleg Evil Dead) Also, we talk about what we think are the best sports flicks, hockey fights, that time that Kyle thought The Florida Project was a found footage horror flick.  So, download this if you love hockey hair!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/