Gross Movie Reviews #381

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Gross Movie Reviews #381

 Mummy

Mummy Sleepover Massacre (DVD) – Where has this horrible greatness been hiding at? Well first off it was written, edited, and directed by the one and only Henrique Couto… when he was like 15! Within minutes of me posting of this film being in my possession, Henrique wanted to know how I got it. Second off, with a title like this you knew this movie would find its way to me just because. It has been long out of print but that didn’t stop me from enjoying the horrible glory of a toilet paper covered mummy murdering teenagers at a slumber party. There isn’t a whole lot to say about it besides that. Is it bad… yes? Did I enjoy this gem from an unknown filmmaker (2003) at the time who is a big deal now… Hell yeah!!! Henrique understand this film has found its rightful place in my movie collection where it belongs as I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars. But it is one the best god damn 1 ½ star movies ever just for the title and the toilet paper mummy! And Henrique, thank you.

 

The Conjuring 2 (Theater) – After the events of the first film the Warrens find themselves investigating the famous home in Amityville in 1976. During a séance Lorraine finds herself defending herself against an evil she has never experienced before but not a part of the famous Amityville house. Once home she makes Ed promise her they take a break because she has seen his death. But this evil spirit takes residence in a single mom of four’s house in London 1977. The Warrens are called in by the church just to observe for three days. When they arrive one child is completely terrorized and the other three kids and mom scared for their lives with no one to turn too. After video proof that it was faked or supposedly fake, the Warrens rush back to the home to help the family from this beyond evil spirit that refuses to go away. Amazing flick again horror fans. I am not much into paranormal movies but the two ‘Conjuring’ flicks I have absolutely loved and glad they exist. I give the sequel 4 stars and forgive them for even thinking ‘Annabelle’ was a good idea. Wait a minute… there may be a sequel to ‘Annabelle’? Don’t fuck with the formula based on true stories Hollywood! Just sayin…

 

Swamp Thing the Series: Volume Two (DVD) – This box set covers half of the third season as the third season had something like 50 episodes. Crazy, but what is really weird I must start my quest looking for this other box set as it seems to unavailable everywhere? But anyway after ignoring for a full season that Arcane sent a kid to South America news comes that Jim is alive sending his mom on many trips to South America looking for him. Sadly no help from Swamp Thing but that doesn’t stop Alec Holland from getting a new love interest that during an episode Mr. Swamp Thing eats rare lizard eggs that gets him high and dream about his new girl. They do kill off Kari Wuhrer’s character quickly and have a few episodes where Swamp Thing and Arcane must help out each other. Overall its cheesy television but worth checking out if it pops up on Netflix, On Demand, Hulu, etc., as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Survivors

Survivors (DVD/Vimeo) – Those filmmakers in the UK refuse to let the zombie genre go away as this latest entry into the genre takes a dramatic and political take on it. Medea is a medical testing joint that is funded by the government and recently some human patients have gone missing. With little to go on Kate and her cameraman Duke try to get the inside scoop on what is going on and see if the rumors are true about a new secret weapon, “Zombies”. While investigating the experiments have worked and the patients have escaped causing a shitload of chaos in the world. From here the film focuses on Kate before and after the chaos flipping back and forth. After Duke takes off looking for help Kate continues on trying to survive only to meet Paul, who just so happens to be sent by the government to find out what actually does Kate know? The film is a dramatic, classic, smart take on an overloaded zombie genre which for me never gets old as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. The film has the suspense of another recent zombie movie I liked called, ‘State of Emergency’. For more on this film check out: www.continuummotionpictures.com and www.mctvnetwork.com .

 

Just Desserts: The Making of Creepshow (Blu-ray) – A Michael Felsher project that took a life of its own as it went from a special feature to a full-length documentary that can only be explained as an orgasmic explosion of amazingness about the legendary film ‘Creepshow’. The documentary covers everything of how it began to Tom Savini thinking it was Halloween for five months straight while being on set to make all sorts of creatures for the anthology. The film is almost timeless and has one of my favorite stories of horror in the segment called ‘The Crate’. The documentary has some great interviews with George Romero, Savini, Ed Harris and so on but also great stories about Stephen King and him being a kid at heart. The Blu-ray also has ‘Scream Greats’ Tom Savini video which was watched by many horror fans who grew up in the 80s but now has a commentary as well with Savini looking back at the video. This Blu-ray is a true nerd out of a disc as it has everything you could ever imagine about ‘Creepshow’ and for that I say thank you to Mr. Felsher as I give the Blu-ray 4 out of 4 stars but also it will be one of the best horror discs of 2016! Place your order now at www.synapse-films.com .

 

Blood Glacier (DVD) – A German horror film about a Climate Research Center high in the mountains and its occupants finding a strange blood red covered mountain one day and gone the next. But after a dog is bitten or prodded strange noises are heard and they get back to home base to examine the samples. The samples are no good or so they thought so they rush back up there the next day and it’s gone. Strange things are happening to the world since the glaciers are melting and this can be one of them where animals and bugs mutate then attack humans. It boils down to the German version of ‘The Thing’. It’s hard not to make the comparison but don’t let that stop you from enjoying this lesser known creature feature as I give it 3 stars.

 

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 1 & 2 (DVD) – The 2012 animated feature stars the voice of Peter Weller as Batman where Batman is now 70 and been out of the spotlight for ten years. But since his disappearance Gotham has gotten worse from a whole new slew of criminals called “The Mutants”. Bruce Wayne tired of retirement and Commissioner Gordon about to retire decides it is time for Batman to return and restore order in Gotham. But this isn’t your Saturday morning Batman cartoon folks as not only does Batman kill some people or criminals, but “The Joker” does also during his return to society. Pretty violent and the story of how Batman fakes his death so he can continue teaching young people to take care of Gotham from the shadows. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #380

0

Gross Movie Reviews #380

 

Howl (DVD) – In the middle of Somewhere, UK, passengers are taking a train at night to get to their destination. Problem… train breaks down in the middle of highly wooded area that we later find out has a history of weird shit happening but never substantiated? But driver gets out checking out the problem only to be attacked by something. Two train workers check it out not finding the driver and debating with the several passengers on what they should do. Finally they leave the train only to find the remains of the driver and now something is chasing them back to the train. They are forced to defend themselves as this wolf man like creature is attacking the train trying to eat everyone inside! A fun werewolf flick with lots of blood and guts and I give it 3 stars.

 

Jaws of Satan (DVD) – An early 80s killer animal flick that involves a King Cobra escaping from a train and causing other snakes in the area to attack humans. All because the King Cobra is Satan himself according to the local priest! A possessed snake holding a community hostage is great stuff horror fans and a must watch as I give it 3 stars!

 

The Vatican Tapes (DVD) – A woman named Angela becomes possessed on her 25th birthday and the church gets involved. A special division of the Vatican gets involved after investigating the supposedly possession and tries exorcise the demon from the young woman’s body before it completely takes control. A little more interesting than most of the PG-13 possession films that have flooded the horror genre as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Amityville Death House (DVD) – The story begins with Eric Roberts doing voiceover telling a story about a witch using the ‘Book of the Dead’ as a means to enter present day. Pay attention as you will notice the ‘Book of the Dead’ is: A) The Evil Dead DVD Necronomicon and B) its upside down. Anyway, present day and Tiffany and college friends are stopping by to visit grandma. Well grandma lives in the old Wilmont’s house that was the house to Abigail the witch during the 1800s. Locals always believed witches lived in the home for years. Now the home is shunned by the community even though Grandma Raymond lives there. Tiffany use to spend her summers there until grandpa died and since then hasn’t been back. But now she is back and weird shit begins to happen and six people need to die for Abigail the witch to come into present day. And only in a Polonia Brothers film you would hear the line, “You look like you had a dozen tits?” It’s true if you watch the film she did look like that… Tiffany I mean. Make-up effects from Brett Piper and Anthony Polonia, Fred Olen Ray as an executive producer and Eric Roberts involved with a great looking poster comes off as a slight misfire than classic. I expected more but hey it does have Amityville in the title so I give it 2 stars.

2015-flesh-for-the-inferno-movie-poster

Flesh for the Inferno (DVD) – A film written by the legendary Michael Varrati begins March 11, 1999, at St. Christopher Middle School. A priest has raped a boy and the boy told four nuns about it. They choose to confront the priest and things go bad and next thing you know they are renouncing god as they are bricked up in the basement. Years later… June 2, 2015, a youth group and its leader show up to clean and fix up the old school for the weekend but they are warned it’s a bad day according to the caretaker. Once the cleaning begins the nuns return causing death and chaos inside the walls of this holy place. Gore, ugly nuns, and a little reminder for me at least of ‘The Unholy’ and ‘The Convent’. A fun and gritty low budget horror movie worth seeking out fans as I quite enjoyed it as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. This is the type of horror film I believe needs to make a comeback to the cinemas?

 

Black Sabbath (DVD) – Boris Karloff tells tales of terror in this early 60s horror film that even has Karloff playing a vampire in the last tale of terror. Think of Karloff as the early Cryptkeeper. Found this flick a little dull at times but sure there are some older people that would tell me to fuck off just for saying that as I give this film 2 stars.

 

Swamp Thing: The Series Volume One (DVD) – Yes folks, I am the weirdo that owns this box set but this set actually contains season one and two. The third season for unknown reasons right now is 50 some episodes! It was USA network in the early 90s before they knew what programs were being placed on the channel. Dick Durock returns as the big green guy who pretty much saves a kid named Jim for several episodes before he is shipped off to South America and now has to deal with his older brother Will. The series centers on the struggle between Dr. Arcane and Swamp Thing and the surrounding swamp land. With each story being wrapped up in 23 minutes and everyone including his mom forgetting Jim from the first season was shipped to South America by Arcane. An odd and quirky take on the cult comic book hero but no worse than the ‘Friday the 13th Series’ that was about cursed objects not Jason Voorhees. I look forward tracking down the rest of the episodes but until then hopefully we can get a movie or TV series that gives this interesting character some respect? I give it 2 stars.

Werewolves

Werewolves in Heat (DVD) – Lance Polland and company make a movie that seemed to be a lost film from the early 90s Troma catalog that even includes Ron Jeremy as a pimp named ‘Chancho’. The story centers around three friends leaving the friendly confines of L.A. for the sex, drugs, and party of the desert. Once at their rental house they proceed to the local bar to place flyers for their party and buy some whores. But these just any whores… Let’s remember Ron Jeremy aka Chancho is pimping out the best ever. The three friends are so excited for the women and their party doesn’t know until it is too late when the women/werewolves show up and start a bloodbath once horny! Everyone may get laid but it all ends in death as these women have embraced being werewolves. Hell, we even get werewolf vision which reminds me a lot of the same thing in ‘Howling 7: New Moon Rising’ (a sub-par sequel in the series). Mr. Polland accomplished in giving horror and Troma fans a low budget raunchy gem that makes you reminisce about old school Troma films? I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars. More about the film can be found at: www.facebook.com/werewolvesinheat .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.