Gross Movie Reviews #616

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The Devil’s Ground (DVD) – The latest from the independent filmmaker Dan Komarek that is a found footage film of sorts that was believed to be lost forever in the Video Nasty Productions warehouse. But recently by accident Dan came across a flash drive he thought was completely erased years ago and was broken?  To the best of his ability he has brought this decades old footage to life again to see this rather haunting 29 minute short film of a man trying to finish a manuscript in his home. But the man hears things and possibly sees things leading him to believe someone or something mysterious is in the home as the man leaves his computer to investigate. Fans of Mr. Komarek will enjoy this no budget effort that is rough around the edges as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Swamp Woman (DVD) – Sean Donohue and Gatorblade Films go in a different direction than the usual with this parody of a monster film of sorts? He made a no budget parody of ‘Swamp Thing’?  Anyhow kids it all starts in 1983 where our beaches are being polluted by toxic waste from Biotech Prime but now in present day they are still doing it but quieter. We are introduced to a scientist Angela Honeydew who is going to change the world with her genesplicing formula but it’s stolen from her when another scientist (evil of course) Dr. Olsen sends his thugs after her. A battle ensues between thugs and Dr. Honeydew as she gets covered in her own formula and runs naked for the swamp only to come back out later as a changed person/thing. Now the new monstrous Dr. Honeydew wants revenge and seeks those who stole her formula. This hilarious over the top ‘Swamp Thing’ parody has everything! Sean Donohue playing the most monotone doctor on purpose that almost had tears of laughter coming out of me, Joel D. Wynkoop pretty much stealing the movie with his performance that felt like Mark Hamil’s version of the Joker being a scientist, and most of all kudos to Sushii Xhyvette Holder for wearing full body make up and running through the swamp fully nude as Swamp Woman. Now I don’t know if Mr. Donohue was trying for a parody here but I will say this “it was one of his best films to date” from Gatorblade Films as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. P.S…. Donohue did make sure there was a shower scene for yinz!  

Wolf Hollow (Blu-ray) – Mark Cantu and friends attempted what usually fails in independent cinema… a werewolf film. This story takes place in small town America ‘Wolf Hollow’ or not too far from where I reside. A year after an incident that was a complete bloodbath that the town would like to keep quiet as a familiar face with filmmaker friends returns home to use his family property that has a scare house on it he would like to use for filming. But Ray and Bart still haven’t worked out their differences even though they are family and werewolves. Add in small town politics not for the better, small town secrets, and werewolves just not into being pushed around and we have a fun howling at the moon monster movie with heart and great costumes. What adds to this low budget production is some star power in Felissa Rose, Lynn Lowry, and Hannah Fierman given the right character roles to help this film get the right kind of notice. If you have read my reviews in the past you know I can be rough on Indy werewolf films but I am glad I can say with confidence this is the best Indy werewolf flick I have seen since Todd Sheets’ “Bonehill Road” as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Tale of the Bone Collector (DVD) – More short film stuff from MMH Productions where a young cub scout or a scout for some of yinz that don’t know what that is tells his little sister a story about a monster that eats kids in tents. Problem is his story comes to life and gives the viewer a fun bone crunching ending as I give this short 3 out of 4 stars.

Bugged Out (DVD) – A somewhat trippy short film from MMH Productions that some might see as a page out of a David Lynch script as a weird man collects bugs. One night this man goes to sleep only to awake to some rather large bugs pay him a visit in his bedroom and nothing good can come of that as I give this one 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Drugula (DVD) – I would like to say this might have been the worst short film out of the bunch from MMH Productions I watched but it had me laughing. The story consists of a vampire selling drugs to humans then has them ingest them to become part of his ever growing vampire army. You got me to laughso I got give this one 2 out of 4 stars.

The Yellow Car (DVD) – MMH Productions gets an ‘A’ for effort on this one for doing a killer car short film on no budget as a bright yellow Camaro gets back at its owner for mistreatment of it. This short film may have showed off the talent of MMH Productions more than you think if pay attention a little closer as I give this one 3 out of 4 stars.

Spirits (DVD) – A short film where a man who doesn’t believe in the paranormal is visited by spirits. In my opinion this may have been the worst of the bunch from MMH Productions as this felt to me at least there was no real beginning or end as I give this 1 out of 4 stars.

Rats (DVD) – A short film where a man is terrorized by a large fake rat is able to accomplish his mission of getting rid of the foul thing. As two years go by a zombie version of the fake rat returns to exact revenge on the man in this little project from MMH Productions as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Benny (DVD) – This short film maybe a little uncomfortable for some viewers as MMH Productions tells a story of a sleazy dude who has a sick habit of enjoying his pet dogs in more ways than one and gets a new dog on a regular basis as I give this project 2 out of 4 stars.

All Nighter (DVD) – A rather rough short film that I felt could have used a little more touching up and footage of two friends watching TV all night that are visited by an unwanted evil visitor. Again this short film has potential if MMH Productions would have spent a little more time processing what they were actually going for as I give this 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Attack of the Killer Chickens: The Movie (DVD) – If you crazy horror fans enjoyed ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ and ‘Attack of the Killer Donuts’ and you enjoyed the independent out this world spirit of ‘Llamageddon’ then yinz are gonna love this nutzoid mess of Space Chickens! I believe this was first released in 2015 then rereleased in 2022 is from the talented mind of Genoveva Rossi who directs, produces, writes, and stars in this masterpiece of horror comedy. The movie starts quick and does not let off the gas pedal as Killer Space Chickens have arrived to enslave all of mankind. From there like I said no letting off the gas pedal as we get a bad parody scene from ‘The Warriors’, chicken and human sex, a vegan bounty hunter, cowboy chicken fighting in a bar, chickens playing poker, more chicken and human sex, and some cameos to boot. To top all of this complete hilarity there is an ending that will have you laughing in an comfortable manner as I give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Mindbender (DVD) – A rather heavy short film from newer filmmaker (to me at least) in Jason Burke about a father who is a doctor who was let go from his practice after 30 years as he was the scapegoat for a patient being lost. What doesn’t help the situation is this father is taking care of his terminally ill grown daughter. But dear old dad has a secret as his patients fully trust him and his methods in this effective, depressing short film that will make you think once viewed as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

The Limbo Café (DVD) – Another professionally shot independent short film from Jason Burke that has a young woman stopping at a coffee shop on a rainy night. As she greeted by the hostess the two get talking and this rain soaked young lady explains how she is looking for a fresh start. But the more time spent at the coffee shop the young woman Atria becomes a little uneasy of the place as she experiences things. But it is too late before Atria understand this café isn’t some mysterious out of the way place. Intentional or not this gave me a fun feeling of watching those episodes of HBO’s ‘The Hitchhiker’ a few decades back as a kid and for that I gotta give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Grave Encounters (DVD) – This Jason Burke simple short film has an abundance of substance to it that you will pick up on in the end as a couple strolling through a graveyard and reminiscing about their past two years together. This could be seen as depressing but I feel other independent filmmakers might it inspiring as again there is a lot of substance to this one as I give 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Shackles (DVD) – A Jason Burke film that has no dialogue but uses music and the actors’ actions to tell the story as a man wakes everyday only to be haunted by a beautiful lady whose simple presence is just defeating to the main character. He hopes every time he wakes not to see her but finally gets the courage to push by, smile, and go out his front door. This is some of the best story telling film wise I have seen since: The Misled Romance of Cannibal Girl and Incest Boy and Hexercise as I give this inspiring tale 4 out of 4 stars.

Meg 2: The Trench (On Demand) – Jason Statham returns, big freakin ancient sharks return, terrible CGI returns, and this film has it all including a much better storyline than the original as Jason Statham and friends must again stop giant ancient sharks from eating all the humans as I give the sequel 3 stars. Yeah I am weird as I enjoyed this film more than the original!

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #615

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Past Midnight (DVD/YouTube) – A USA Network movie from 1991 that starred Rutger Hauer, Clancy Brown, and Natasha Richardson in a murder mystery film that was actually supposed to be a theater release. Also another tidbit of info for people who go online and read the “reviews” where people claimed “this isn’t the typical Rutger Hauer film” are dead wrong because that dude seeked this shit out. Anyway Rutger Hauer is Ben who just got paroled after serving 15 years for the death of his wife and unborn child. Ben has to report to his social worker played by Natasha Richardson (Laura) who is immediately intrigued by Ben’s high IQ but also how Ben claims his innocence? Clancy Brown of course plays the best friend/past lover who still cares for her and warns “this is a dangerous path with a serial killer”. As Ben sees the chemistry immediately between the two he strings Laura around as she digs into his past to truly see if Ben is innocent? There is a lot of buildup and the movie goes about ten minutes too long but it is Rutger Hauer and he always keeps it interesting especially when there is a little twist involved in this murder mystery that I give 3 stars too.

Slipstream (DVD/YouTube) – Mark Hamill plays a bootleg Rutger Hauer future cop in a post-apocalyptic flick that has him chasing Bill Paxton after he steals his prisoner because he wants to cash in on the bounty for this unknown prisoner dude. Paxton is always looking for the big score so he can go do his balloon thing in the mountains. But it isn’t long that Paxton’s character after some interaction with the unknown prisoner dude figures out he is an android that actually killed someone and wants to travel to the end of the earth because of something he believes in. Along the way let’s not forget we got Kitty Aldridge and Ben Kingsley in this mess of a film that has a lot going on. Paxton halfway through his travels of trying to collect the money decides to help protect the android and become friends with him as the droid is learning to be human. There is weird plane chase scenes, people who don’t believe in technology, and rich folk that are trying to protect artifacts of the past as they all converge in this post-apocalyptic film. The movie isn’t bad by any means but if it makes any sense at all it feels like they were shooting for this epic film that has a message and it just wasn’t executed to its fullest? Anyway still worth checking it out just to see Mark Hamill as bootleg Rutger Hauer and a fun Bill Paxton as usual as I give the film 2 stars.

Z-ero (DVD/YouTube) – A very choppy edit of an independent zombie film where zombies seem to be attacking people who are doing everyday things or just attacking them in a strip mall. Premise of the film seems to be a female zombie happens to be an alpha zombie who is able to talk and control other zombies until she has bitten her twin brother, another alpha? Supposedly she was an experiment of the government and he just happens to turn into ‘super zombie’ or Johnny. Johnny quickly becomes an overnight sensation as he saves humans from zombie attacks. Oh did I mention the alpha zombies wouldn’t exist if their father (scientist) wouldn’t have brought home his work and their mum was a whacked out prego meth head? This production clearly had the people to help out with everything but the execution was a whole other story as this movie fails to impress as I give 1 out of 4 stars.

Slash Dance (DVD) – Its 1989 and Tori likes being an undercover cop to catch the bad guys except her big boss Edison is too busy to care as he has higher political aspirations. With that being said the boss man wants her hidden so he allows her to go investigate a theater where women are disappearing as they are fresh off the bus and nobody to care they are missing. Edison doesn’t care what Tori does unless she can get him headlines but when the killings have hit the papers he wants in on the action. It is far from ‘Killer Workout’ or a ‘Death Spa’ but for weird people like that love those rando 80s horror films you gotta watch it at least once as I give it 2 stars.

Stoner Snakes (YouTube) – A 16 minute short film from MMH Productions some puppet and stuffed animal snakes eat some weed and have the munchies which means chopping down on some humans! When they ain’t feeding they crave more weed unless they are having a bad trip where zombies are trying to tear them a part. To be honest I don’t know if this was entertaining or not but hell you got me to watch so kudos to you as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Targets (DVD) – I had heard about this film over the years but never quite tracked it down or found time to watch it until recently. Boris Karloff plays a character or an aging movie star named Byron who is retiring after his last flick “The Terror”, which they use the footage from throughout but bottom line Boris is playing himself with a different name. A young filmmaker Sammy finally gets his shot to direct a picture with Byron but Byron believes “it is a young man’s game” and that is why he won’t even read the script. Meanwhile we are introduced to a young man Bobby who crosses paths with Byron but the great actor doesn’t even know it? Bobby decides one morning after gathering some guns and bullets to kill his wife and mother and leaves a note that there will be more people shot before he is done. Then Bob finds a nice high fuel silo off the highway and begins to shoot innocent bystanders from there. Once authorities arrive he makes his way to the drive-in where Byron is about to make his last appearance and promote his latest film after a night of talking with Sammy. Once Bob climbs the screen the shooting begins again and the man who stops him is none other than Byron. It’s a weird combo of a film of retiring actor who becomes a hero and sniper who goes on a killing spree for unknown reasons (unless I miss that plot point). Boris Karloff is wonderful, the cinematography is excellent, and the slow burn effect of the sniper and who he is gonna kill next is perfect as I give this flick 3 ½ stars.

Black Circle (Blu-ray) – A 2019 film from Adrian Garcia Bogliano that is in Swedish I believe but has English subtitles and stars the great Christina Lindberg as Lena who plays a very important role. This story centers around two sisters Celeste and Isa who listen to an old self-help hypnosis album that is supposedly helping you relax. But from the first listen something very sinister is happening and causes the sisters to seek out the help from Lena Carlsson who recorded the album as a limited edition product that was an experiment. According to Lena an experiment that wasn’t meant for the world as it brings forth your double or doppelganger from the other side. This other you, follow you, and continue to suck life from you to survive in this new world and take over your existence. With the help of Lena they hope she is able to put them back together before the other them takes over? This film is all kinds of interesting, creepy, insane, and an excellent trippy experience into slow burn horror. With this Blu-ray from Synapse Films you get a CD soundtrack that will have fans absolutely delighted, commentary with Adrian Garcia Bogliano, trailer, a short film, behind the scenes of the film, and a great interview of Bogliano and Christina Lindberg. I can definitely see the younger horror crowd losing their shit over how good this movie is as I give the Blu-ray package 3 ½ out of 4 stars and found at www.synapse-films.com .  

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #614

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CarousH3ll (YouTube/DVD/Blu-ray) – The third entry into Steve Rudzinski’s wildly popular series “CarousHell” with the help of co-writer and ultra-talented Aleen Isley give us the next evolving chapter of Duke’s adventures. In case you haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying the past two Indy treasures: Duke is a terrifying killer carousel horse who has come to life to kill humans, had a child/puppet horse named Robbie, and has turned good in order to track down others like him that may want to use their evil powers to kill both of them. Okay that is a mouth full to take in but now we are caught up without giving too many spoilers away Duke has a new enemy in Usagi: a chocolate carousel bunny that wants to kill Duke  in order to steal his power to become the god she deserves to be. If that wasn’t enough Joe ‘the pizza man looking for his $42.39’ is back in a big way and seeking revenge even if he has only one eye. But Joe has found a new group of friends that want to protect Duke and Robbie from the evil Usagi which leaves Joe very conflicted. Of course along the way there is characters from the past that show up and we get introduced to a couple new intriguing characters as Steve and Aleen made sure ‘CarousHell’ fans get all the over the top carousel sex and violence you could want in your independent movie. This wonderfully entertaining sequel wastes no time jumping into the storyline getting the ‘CarousHell’ taste buds wet but for me it felt a little slow but they made me adjust on the run with this project as I think so highly of the first two films. As I said in the past Steve gave me “House of a 1000 Corpses” and then gave me the “The Devil’s Rejects” which was the best way to explain how I feel about the first two CarousHell films. Now both Steve and Aleen understanding it is virtually impossible to top those last two films went about their business quickly and smartly by not giving us “3 from Hell”. But embracing and understanding the story arc they have built over the past two films as they ran with the insanity and gave us an absolute surprisingly brilliant third entry that gives fans a perfect ending (maybe?). Seriously the cast, the music, the perfect running time of 68 minutes is great but the stand out of this latest entry might be the script from Steve and Aleen and their attention to detail and understanding of the fans of ‘CarousHell’. The writing of this film for me at least is their best work to date and have cemented them in making one of the best independent horror franchises a movie fan could ever watch as I give this enormously humor filled film 4 out of 4 stars. P.S. this film just shows these two are an extremely talented duo to be highly respected  in the independent world but also should make many other filmmakers scream for them to be a part of their next project!

Space Mutiny (VHS/YouTube) – A very B-grade film from 1988 set many years into the future that also stole scenes from an old sci-fi TV series where people live on a ship called the Southern Sun. On this ship is a select few who want to sabotage the mission and do not want to live on the ship all their lives but we have our hero Reb Brown who wants to solve the issues peaceful as possible. This space movie is hilariously bad to the point apparently it was one of MST3K’s best episodes of all time as I give the film 1 star and enjoy the space go-kart chase scene.

The Lazy Werewolf (DVD/YouTube) – A weirdo short film about a cheesy ass werewolf that has decided it’s time to get back into shape as I give it 2 out of 4 stars for effort as you can find out more at www.cheeviesfilms.com .

Killer Claus (DVD/YouTube) – Another short film from www.cheeviesfilms.com where a man gets fired from his Santa job and this drives him to decide it is time to kill for the holidays. A funny short just because it is a ‘killer Santa Claus’ movie and has a nice little twist at the end as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Redder (DVD/YouTube) – It’s the old story about a woman killing her boyfriend when she found out he was cheating on her! But this goes in a little different direction as it focuses on the woman trying to convince herself this was the best course of action? By doing this we learn a lot about this woman who has long since slipped into her own madness and makes you question who the real villain actually was as I give this short flick from www.cheeviesfilms.com 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Mutilation Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – Thank you to www.cheesviesfilms.com for adding to my ‘massacre movie’ list as this short film has a woman named Stephanie tied to a tree to be tortured. Before you feel bad the viewer comes to learn it might be karma not evil finally catching up to her as I give this short film 2 out of 4 stars.

Battle for the Lost Planet (DVD) – An early Brett Piper flick from 1986 that is a super entertaining story about Harry Trent who is an old man and choosing to write about how the new world started. Many years ago when Trent was a thief, he steals a cassette and takes off of earth in a spaceship. But as he escapes and believes he is a bad ass, he sees the oncoming invasion by aliens. Five years pass before Trent returns to earth because he cannot change course. (By the way Young Trent is Matt Mitler from The Mutilator) Trent hits earth and finds some new friends mainly the lovely Dana who eventually gets taken by a typical post-apocalyptic gang who also owns a ‘Mad Max’ Ford Pinto that will have you laughing your ass off! But the leader of the gang might know the location of a device that could help all of mankind but do they really want mankind to go back to what it used to be? A blissfully entertaining independent film that will make nostalgic for video stores, Brett Piper, and how much fun it was finding these flicks a couple decades ago as I give the film 3 stars.

Killer Christmas (DVD) – An interesting short film from MMH Productions, where a group of young people move into a house for the holidays and take advantage of the free holiday decorations that were left by past owners. Unbeknownst to the group the Christmas decorations are evil and go on a murderous rampage as I give this short film 2 out of 4 stars.

Killer Christmas 2: Deadly Night (DVD) – MMH Productions uses the sequel to make another short film but twice as long and look like they had a bigger budget to work with as the killer decorations return a couple years later. A new family moves in and once again the killer decorations are in full kill mode but two individuals Christian and Clank begin investigating these strange murders. They find a survivor of these vicious attacks and have help their investigation but how stable she is can be a whole different story. The three enter the home that has the murderous holiday home with every intention in ending the horror but you can never truly stop evil in the first two Indy projects I have seen someone have killer decorations so kudos to MMH as I give the sequel 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Black Scorpion (DVD) – A late 50’s monster flick that takes place in Mexico where volcanic eruptions has caused a super large scorpion to escape the depths of the earth and begin its reign of terror on the people of Mexico. This black scorpion is an ancient species thought to be long dead but has been awaken again by these horrible eruptions. A film that deserves a little more love from us 50s and 60s sci-fi film lovers as I give it 3 stars.

Demonic Toys: Jack-Attack (Vimeo) – Charles Band once again turns to Full Moon filmmaking vet William Butler to continue breathing new life into a long running original Full Moon franchise that never found the love the ‘Puppet Master’ or ‘Subspecies’ series did? William Butler continuing his magic touch tells a story of Lily the teenage girl who has been traumatized by the event of losing a battle with the evil jack-in-the-box. Not long after Lily finds herself in foster care and non-verbal but with help of her social worker Audrey finds a family quickly. But that also means her belongings will follow her to her new home which means the evil jack-in-the-box murder spree has just begun. With Audrey having strange visions of the evil jack-in-the-box and having some odd attachment to Lily it makes for an interesting uneasy piece of cheese that William Butler by the end finds a way to keep everything connected in his new ‘Demonic Toys’ universe as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and be able to find more about this feature at www.fullmoonfeatures.com .

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

CarousH3ll review!

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CarousH3ll (YouTube/DVD/Blu-ray) – The third entry into Steve Rudzinski’s wildly popular series “CarousHell” with the help of co-writer and ultra-talented Aleen Isley give us the next evolving chapter of Duke’s adventures. In case you haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying the past two Indy treasures: Duke is a terrifying killer carousel horse who has come to life to kill humans, had a child/puppet horse named Robbie, and has turned good in order to track down others like him that may want to use their evil powers to kill both of them. Okay that is a mouth full to take in but now we are caught up without giving too many spoilers away Duke has a new enemy in Usagi: a chocolate carousel bunny that wants to kill Duke  in order to steal his power to become the god she deserves to be. If that wasn’t enough Joe ‘the pizza man looking for his $42.39’ is back in a big way and seeking revenge even if he has only one eye. But Joe has found a new group of friends that want to protect Duke and Robbie from the evil Usagi which leaves Joe very conflicted. Of course along the way there is characters from the past that show up and we get introduced to a couple new intriguing characters as Steve and Aleen made sure ‘CarousHell’ fans get all the over the top carousel sex and violence you could want in your independent movie. This wonderfully entertaining sequel wastes no time jumping into the storyline getting the ‘CarousHell’ taste buds wet but for me it felt a little slow but they made me adjust on the run with this project as I think so highly of the first two films. As I said in the past Steve gave me “House of a 1000 Corpses” and then gave me the “The Devil’s Rejects” which was the best way to explain how I feel about the first two CarousHell films. Now both Steve and Aleen understanding it is virtually impossible to top those last two films went about their business quickly and smartly by not giving us “3 from Hell”. But embracing and understanding the story arc they have built over the past two films as they ran with the insanity and gave us an absolute surprisingly brilliant third entry that gives fans a perfect ending (maybe?). Seriously the cast, the music, the perfect running time of 68 minutes is great but the stand out of this latest entry might be the script from Steve and Aleen and their attention to detail and understanding of the fans of ‘CarousHell’. The writing of this film for me at least is their best work to date and have cemented them in making one of the best independent horror franchises a movie fan could ever watch as I give this enormously humor filled film 4 out of 4 stars. P.S. this film just shows these two are an extremely talented duo to be highly respected  in the independent world but also should make many other filmmakers scream for them to be a part of their next project!

Grossfest 2023 came, it happened, and accomplished its mission for independent horror!

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So Grossfest fans, vendors, and guests… I believe we have accomplished our mission! We are BACK! First, let me thank the Comfort INN there in Penn Hills for allowing me to be me and trying to give what I thought people would enjoy. Second, I got to thank Famous actor Tom Gross for allowing me to do my thing (being insane, maybe?) but also making things happen behind the scenes. Third and maybe the most importantly I gotta thank the great guests we had, the vendors, and people who paid ten bucks to get in. Without yinz n’at this wouldn’t be possible. So thank everyone: the hotel, the vendors, the guests, the people who bought tickets, and the couple people who heard my deep thoughts on the state of conventions this past weekend… This wasn’t the beginning of the end for Grossfest, this was a new beginning, a new chapter as we jumped a huge hurdle here and now we venture into preparing for an August two-day show in 2024. So stick around, give us some time to get some details figured out as we move forward and remember Grossfest is proof “just because someone tells you can’t do it, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to do it”. Again all of yinz n’at for your time and support and see yinz in 2024!

Gross Movie Reviews #613

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Day Zero (On Demand) – How to best describe this flick would be a Filipino version of “28 Days Later” starring a bootleg Vin Diesel but with lots of heart. Emon has been in prison for the past several years even though he was in U.S. Special Forces and counting the days to finally see his daughter. It is his dream that it is important enough that his best friend in jail is teaching Emon sign language so he can communicate with his daughter. Well helping Timoy from getting jumped one evening has Emon thrown into solitude but does not last long as the warden has told the prisoners they are released as a horrible virus is spreading quickly through the city. This strange virus is attacking people and causing them to want to chew on fellow humans without much explanation. Emon and Timoy once out and in survival mode head to the apartment complex his ex-wife and daughter lived and it becomes “The Raid” with infected as they must fight through the hordes of infected to find them. There is some very cool fight and kill scenes in this film and cannot say enough how much heart this flick has and how it separates itself from the usual zombie/infected/rage virus stuff as I give this flick 3 stars.

Resident Evil: Death Island (On Demand) – The latest animation film in the horror video game series that takes place 2015 San Francisco and all the usual characters are here: Claire, Jill, Leon, and Chris. All have gone in different directions since the original T-virus outbreak but all are tracking a new form of it that has shown up recently that does not require transference through a bite? Someone on Alcatraz Island has figured out through needle punctures and computerized bugs or “Bio-drones” he can target anyone. Fun stuff as usual with the animation as they haven’t screwed shit up and they have a ‘Zombie Shark’ as I give this feature 3 stars.

Blood & Gold (Netflix) – The setting is 1945 Germany and a group of SS soldiers are heading to a small village after they hang one of their own for desertion because they of bricks of gold that will help them after the war ends which is coming quicker than they want. A young woman cuts down this soldier who was hung and after healing up both come to have a bond over their hatred for Nazis as they have taken something very personal from them during this war. But while they try to plan out what or how they want to seek revenge the Nazis are in the small village asking questions that a few residents are not willing to give answers too about the gold. For from a horror film that doesn’t stop this from an impactful film with an interesting storyline and a nice bit of gore! For that I give this flick 3 stars.

Sharkspolitation (Shudder) – Another kick ass documentary that has shown up on Shudder where they cover everything from ‘Jaws’ to ‘Sharknado’ and everything in-between and how it has impacted society and cinema over the years. They explain the formula, the copycats, the rando forgotten shark films and why everyone lost their mind over an idea pitched to Asylum by SyFy channel? If you love sharks this will be your bonerjam as it touches on everything as I give it 4 stars.

Bloody Sect (DVD) – In what bonkers universe did this early 80s Spanish rip-off of “Rosemary’s Baby” come from? One stormy evening a crazy gypsy-like lady breaks into a man’s (Fredric) home to stab him in the freakin eyeballs with a fire poker because he banged some hot woman. After the event Fredric gets to keep the hot lady around because she wants to be married and get Prego. But the couple has troubles making it happen so they seek out a professional’s help and instead Fredric’s girl gets Prego with a creature from some crazy cult dudes who believe the second coming of Satan is well on his way? From there it just ramps up the crazy as the crazy gypsy-like lady becomes sort of a hero and some little brat of a kid screws up or does his best to screw up the second coming of Satan. Describing this film doesn’t justify how crazy this movie gets as much as you need to witness the greatness of this bonkers ass movie as I give it 3 stars and thank it for existing!

Forsaken (YouTube) – Another day at the office for Philip Brocklehurst as he makes a short film about a young man that witnesses a shadow that suggests many things could be going on or maybe nothing at all in this intriguing short film. The beauty of Brocklehurst’s work no matter how short form it is has been to make the viewer think? For that I always get excited when he has finished up a new short film and have to give for this project 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

One week till GROSSFEST 2023

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GROSSFEST 2023

Saturday, August 5th, JUST $10 AT THE DOOR for movies, vendors, guests, and just hanging with some very cool talented people!

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East
699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235
412-244-1600
or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com
Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests as always subject to change)

All we ask of yinz is your support and come and have fun! You want this to keep happening help support our little growing event. So let’s keep it simple and enjoy that Grossfest is back and with your support this is a new beginning for our Independent Horror Convention… again! See yinz there!

Gross Movie Reviews #612

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Invaluable: The True Story of an Epic Artist (Blu-ray) – This was and is a very special documentary that Ryan Meade wrote, directed, and shot several years ago and remembering seeing it for the first time then and just truly being blown away. This isn’t just a must have for ‘Evil Dead’ fans, this is a must see for all horror fans young and old! Ryan dug deep in bringing you the man, the myth, the legend behind the effects for the horror classic ‘The Evil Dead’ and telling the story of one of coolest horror genre icons, Tom Sullivan. Tom’s art, effects, creations, and personality are cherished still to this day. But his work on the original ‘Evil Dead’ was one of those moments that even if not a fan you could admire and understand how Tom’s work stood out among thousands of creations and effects throughout the years. The documentary tells the story of Tom from the beginning and through many interviews with Bruce Campbell, Josh Becker, Betsy Baker, Ellen Sandweiss, Theresa Tilly, and a host of others. It follows Tom’s career of how he met Sam Raimi and folks and how he created some of the most iconic horror effects in the past 40 years! This is a documentary that has heart and passion because Tom Sullivan is all of that and you don’t have to be a fan to get what Tom is all about but you will absolutely respect this man for all he has done. Like they stated in the documentary “No Tom Sullivan, no Evil Dead. It begins and ends with Tom.” Tom’s work and his care for the legacy of the series are beyond words and very appreciated by the horror community. But there is even more to this disc because there is another documentary on here that is worth watching, a couple Ryan Meade short films you won’t want to miss, and some unedited interesting interviews. Hell ‘Evil Dead’ kids there is something like four or five hours of extras that are not your typical throw ins to make you feel you paid for something this is for sure one of the few must own Blu-rays I assure you that you will watch from beginning to end quite a few times! Kudos to Synapse Films for getting this wonderfully passionate documentary from Ryan Meade and getting it out worldwide for all the horror community to own and enjoy as I easily give this package 4 out of 4 stars. Available through www.synapse-films.com

Da Hip Hop Witch (DVD) – What comes off as an old long continuous YouTube video of rappers before they were big, smoking weed and babbling about a crazy ghetto witch in New York? There is supposed to be a whole plot of five white people from Salem with a pug who caught up in all the hype and disappear but that gets all lost in chaos everyone babbling about a ghetto witch. And some repeating themselves in this feature that may have been funny in 2000 seems really dumb now as I give it a ½ a star for having a pug.

Open Grave (DVD) – A man wakes up in a pit of dead bodies with no memory of how or why he is there but finds a rope thrown to him so he is able to climb out. Still being a bit disoriented he is able to find his way to a house where he is surrounded by a group of people who have the same questions as he does and soon do not trust each other as things do not make sense. This includes other people they find are in some kind of fucked up zombie state where they attack humans who are not infected with whatever this problem that is going on? Things get a little insane and hard to follow but it’s all worth sticking it out and seeing how this interesting take on a certain horror genre film gets to the end as I give it 3 stars.

Kids vs. Aliens (Shudder) – For me at least this was an oddly paced film taking place around Halloween where aliens have landed in a lake and some fishermen go missing. From there we get the stars of the film, all kids who are trying to film a movie because their parents are never around and they have a wrestling ring of course to use! But the older sister finds herself in an odd place as the cool kids find out about her parents out of town and choose her house for a Halloween party. Seems like the usual teenage coming of age movie until the aliens show up to crash the party and kidnap many of them and take them aboard their ship at the bottom of the lake. There the kids get you choice but to be melted down by space ooze or have alien spit dumped on them to change them into an alien hybrid! A fast but again oddly paced alien film of literally ‘Kids vs. Aliens’ as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Wrath of Becky (On Demand) – It’s been three years since the incident of Neo-Nazis killing Becky’s father and Becky fighting back against those cruel bastards in a bloody battle to the end. Since then Becky has been on the run and at age 16 she is trying to stay off the grid as much as possible. But by chance Becky happens to be hitchhiking and finds a friend in an older woman who doesn’t ask questions but enjoys the company. Both are unsure of each other but the situation works. With Becky finding a slight glimmer of hope she finds herself being stalked by three all white males known as the ‘Noblemen’. Basically neo-Nazis with a different name and they shoot her roommate in the head and steal her dog. The event of course pushes Becky into survival mode and she goes looking for these men finding out there is a couple more and they have plans for the small town they are staying in. The film doesn’t vary away from what worked the first time and go for the jugular again of continuing a character and her story that we all quite enjoy. Again great cast, smart to stick with what works, the Becky character is just absolutely entertaining as I believe they got another less talked about hit again on their hands as I give it 4 stars. The only thing I will say about the film and it isn’t a flaw as much as an observation without spoiling the film is if they try a third film it will “jump the shark”!

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #611

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Mad God (Shudder) – I’ll be honest about this flick Joe Bob Briggs gave me a reason to finally sit and watch this film. It always had my interest but I would always find something else to watch? Mostly because I had a feeling this movie might be a bit too artsy for me or fall into “not my cup of tea” kinda thing? Anyhow this film took thirty years to make as it’s a stop-motion animation of a post-apocalyptic world where a thing is sent into this visually stunning world to carry a bomb to the deepest depths of it. Mission would be accomplished but it is stopped by a crazy monstrous thing. This world has tons of creations to enjoy but it is hard to follow and definitely not a project you could classify as horror. This film reminds me of an old show “SyFy Exposure” that use to run late Sunday nights on SyFy Channel where you get to see several off the wall short films from filmmakers all over the world. It is an interesting project but with a run time at 110 minutes and not being your typical film to follow be prepared going in as I give it 3 stars for being wonderful to look at but is not my cup of tea thing.

Hellblazers (Tubi) – Here is a modest budget horror film that most horror fans would blow off because if you read the description and seen the cast your response would most likely be: “Great another stupid convention all-star horror film where people say their one line and collect a paycheck in a horror film with no soul.” Well kids this one is a little different (we have seen this story before… but) and worthy giving a chance as everyone has a role to play in making this quite entertaining. In a small community of Hope Valley where Billy Zane and friends raise a demon kind of surprisingly after a ritualistic sacrifice. Now a big city sheriff is trying to adjust to small community police work until this comes to light as a demon now stalks the town to feed to become stronger. With the help of the countless cult members the small community is quickly cut off from the rest of the world and as the demon feeds it becomes disgustingly cooler! Now the cast: Billy Zane, Tony Todd, Meg Foster, Adrienne Barbeau, John Kassir, Bruce Dern, and Courtney Gains. For this little horror surprise I gotta give it 3 stars.

Camp Murder (DVD) – A 2021 Mark Polonia film where a patient of Dr. Lewis decides it is time to leave the asylum when Dr. Lewis is retiring after 25 years. The patient Tommy escapes and returns to a campsite where it all began so many years ago. Problem is an Indy wrestler and friends have chosen to camp out for a couple of days in the same area. Doesn’t take Tommy long to find a mask and weapons to help him slaughter anyone in the woods. Funny thing is there is a subplot of the female Indy wrestler plotting to kill her husband for one of her fans because said fan of hers has a big dong! Starts off promising but quickly falls off of being any bit entertaining as you feel like Mark Polonia and crew slept walked through this one in two or three days as I give it 1 star.

Camp Murder (DVD) – Oh you are reading that correctly as I found another movie of the same title that came out a year later from Josh Bzura where a radio dude tells a Halloween story of some Adamsville people who get slaughtered at a summer camp August 1984. We all have seen this film hundred times or so but full kudos to Josh and crew for having a great set up, great use of location, a solid cast, and people that knew how to have fun with the formula of a masked killer at summer camp with a machete. There is a couple things that happen in this film that make me giggle as Josh does a great job building up some of these characters and capturing the awkwardness of others as this another worthy Indy horror film worth checking out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Manhattan Baby (DVD) – It is 1982 and an archeologist disturbs a tomb and sets in motion an evil spirit following him back to New York City as he is found blind outside of the tomb. It takes some time for the archeologist to regain his sight but by then strange things already begin to happen in this weird Fulci feature. Mostly because the dude’s daughter has some ancient medallion that has chosen to possess her? So if you are looking for “Zombie” or “Gates of Hell” you will be way off with this one so don’t be surprised this makes your favorites of the Fulci collection as I give it 2 stars.

The Blackening (On Demand) – A mostly black casted horror film that has one of the greatest taglines ever, has the cast heading to a cabin in the woods to celebrate Juneteenth holiday. The couple who rented the cabin find a board game that sets up the plot of the film where the black characters are forced to answer questions or die. As they are forced to play there is a masked character trying to kill them off one by one and they let the jokes fly that keeps the film moving at a crisp pace. I absolutely loved this film until about 45 minutes in as it was like the filmmaker ‘let off the gas’ until the last few minutes of the movie which is very culturally relevant and a solid entertaining horror movie. For me I just wish they would have kept the gas to the floor, but watch it, enjoy it, understand it as I give this 3 ½ stars.

Amityville Death Toilet (DVD) – Welcome folks to entry #53 aka “Death Toilet 5” as I couldn’t track down part four but was able to find this entry where the first kill has a gentleman sitting on a toilet and getting killed so hard he loses his mustache! But Evan Jacobs who has been behind all five movies decided it was time to set this one in Amityville where Mayor Dump the mayor of Amityville is flustered and wants an end to the senseless murders by the death toilet. Because you know it will kill the tourist season for Amityville! So Mayor Dump hires a ghost hunter Gregg G. Allin (G.G. Allin yinz clever bastards) who literally has tens of followers to take care of the death toilet before tourist season starts for Amityville. Pretty much a 71 minute feature with lots of filler could have easily been cut down to 20 minutes as I give this a 1 star.

Track of the Moon Beast (DVD) – A hokey mid-70s film where a small part of a moon rock falls from the sky and lodges itself in this dude Paul that causes him to change into a lizard monster at night. As humans die a local professor and police debate over lizard creatures walking the earth millions of years ago as they try to stop Paul before he eats his way through the locals in this cheesy mess that I am surprised haven’t run into over the years on a horror host show. For that I give it 1 ½ stars.

Subspecies V: Blood Rise (Tubi/DVD) – Charles Band and Ted Nicolaou return to a fan favorite ‘Radu’ who was one their staples in the early days of Full Moon. This story tells the story of Radu shortly after being born is stolen by the church and grows to be a crusader who tracks down evil for a living. But Radu makes a mistake one evening rescuing a woman and her child believing there has been enough death and just coming face to face with his father/master. After several days of trying to help this woman and child, the woman is a vampire and bites Radu thus beginning Radu’s transformation into an evil vampire with no master who thrives on death and destruction. This was a wonderful edition to the “Subspecies” series and makes you wonder why Charles Band can’t get his shit together to make more projects like this that makes you nostalgic for the original Full Moon days but actually have hope of seeing some cool new shit from them. Old Full Moon fans like me will be actually delighted with this entertaining entry as I give it 3 stars.         

Raw Nerve (DVD/YouTube) – An oddball serial killer film that stars: Sandahl Bergman, Tex Cobb, Jan-Michael Vincent, and Traci Lords in 1991 which spells B-movie gold that was most likely a direct-to-video release back in the day? A detective baffled by the mysterious serial killer who has killed over the last several days is known to shoot the women victims in the face. Meanwhile, Jimmy an amateur race car driver has visions of the murders and goes to the police about it but they don’t believe him. Oh did I mention you will know who the killer is five minutes in and there is some weird plot twist about incest? Believe me it is cheesy and weird enough to keep you entertained for 90 minutes as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #610

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Cocaine Cougar (Tubi) – Dustin Ferguson is back at it again like a lot of people doing a parody of “Cocaine Bear” but the movie is only 50 minutes long and 15 of that is credits? Sorry my friend you are no Charles Band and people know I have given that dude some shit over the years for that. But anyhow a cougar breaks out from the Ferguson Labs where the bad CGI cougar kills a drug dealer and snorts cocaine. Then the rampage is on the so-called mountain side where you hear lots of terrible jokes. Mr. Ferguson is a talented person but I have always felt he does much more with documentaries and extras for other movies than he does for his own work if that makes sense as sorry my friend I gotta give this a ½ star.

Doll Shark (Tubi) – Of course it is from the minds of Mark and Anthony Polonia as they are back at it with another shark movie but the biggest problem is they didn’t have shark movie expert Maddie Deering involved and that was a mistake. We begin with a child named Kirby receiving a stuffed animal shark from his father that has an evil shark tooth placed inside for luck but actually possesses the stuffed animal. Kirby loves the thing and even has it watched the cartoon it is based on with him but things get crazy when the possessed shark eats a dog and random humans in this hilarious Indy film that honestly would have been better if Maddie Deering of “Spirit Animal” and “Bathtub Shark Attack” was a part of that so I can only give this project 2 stars.

House Squatch (DVD) – For the love of fuckin’ Rutger Hauer I never thought I would see the day of this kids but thank you Mark and Anthony Polonia for doing something that has no business making me laugh the way this one did. So apparently when Squatches are threaten or they were a human’s pet as a small Sasquatch they will revert to going back to houses??? Sure, this is stupid, I am in! After rumors of a Squatch squatting in some houses of a local real estate mogul the local sheriff is pressured into trying to remove this creature from the homes as it is killing people who bother it. Think of this as a long “Three Stooges” skit where they are trying to trap Bigfoot. So if yinz need some laughs in your life look no further as I give this horror Indy comedy 2 ½ stars.

The Mutation (DVD) – A giant rat/human hybrid experiment has broken out its cage from a rando scientist’s basement who has been working in secret. Now the rat is seeking victims out on the city streets and eludes the zoologist that is brought in to help authorities. The movie isn’t real entertaining until “an extreme rules match” breaks out between a waitress and the giant rat in the middle of a restaurant where the bad ass cop leading the investigation cannot get his gun out but watch the carnage. There was a story, a rat costume, but the execution could have been a lot better as I can only give this film 1 star.

Claw (DVD) – A recent lower budgeted flick about a gene-splicing experiment or raptor gets loose in a ghost town. Two people heading to L.A. break down and walk back to this ghost town in hopes of a phone but instead are in for the fight of their lies with this pissed off creature  that seem to kill only one person the whole movie? Who thinks this movie would have been better if it was called “Tourist Trap vs. Raptor” and Chuck Connors and Lorenzo Lamas ghosts showed up? Since it’s not that lets give it 1 star and yes I know Mr. Lamas is alive… maybe?

Blood Punch (DVD) – A college dude named Milton is in drug rehab after he got busted and trying to put his life back together. But then a hottie Skylar comes a calling in the rehab center looking for someone to help her and the crazy boyfriend to cook meth for a day and make a shit ton of money. Everything is normal until the three show up at a cabin to begin the process and Milton begins to keep reliving the same Tuesday everyday Groundhog Day-style! This is where the film begins to get even weirder as Skylar remembers everything that has happened and apparently has killed Milton several times as the bodies of Milton are piled up beyond some rocks. It gets a bit confusing and I am not totally sure if they get it right but you gotta give them this they came up with one weird movie about making meth where everyone gets killed multiple times as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Annihilators (DVD) – Imagine New World Pictures decided to make a B or C-list version of “The A-Team” in 1985/1986 and you have your 90 minute movie. This feels like a direct-to-video kinda of thing that I am surprised I never had the pleasure of crossing by in the video store where a group of bad Vietnam soldiers head home after the war only to come together again ten years later for a friend. Their friend Joey gets slaughtered by a local gang who has been pushing around all the little community businesses for extra cash. So the old Sargent makes a few phone calls and gets the squad together to teach the community to defend themselves and they go on the offensive against these street thugs. A super solid action flick that will have you saying the whole movie “hey, I know that guy” as I give it a solid 2 ½ stars.

Fear Pharm 2 (DVD) – The sequel picks up right from the first film but also quickly goes back 15 years ago to explain how it all started at ‘Cool Patch Pumpkin Farm’ and the breakthrough for the facial cream began. These days Herschel is looking to expand their product as we find him on some kind of Home Shopping Network selling the facial cream and advertising the farm. With growing bigger comes great risk as the survivors find themselves all getting loose and running into the corn maze to escape to get the authorities involved. Herschel and his daughter are at odds most of the film as he is about family and she is about the thrill of the kill but they must work together or the whole thing is over. The sequel has heart, smartly written and well casted, with the effects a little bit too be desired compared to the first film but still a solid effort as I give this 3 stars.

Children of the Corn (Shudder/remake) – Yes people another remake and I think this makes 11 movies or something I actually have lost count. Anyway this version decided to take a different route and have it entrench in today’s farming but harks back to the original of trying to be lean and mean and that isn’t a bad thing. After a horrific accident between police and a child care facility a girl Eden wanders out of the woods with a different attitude on life. When all the adults decide to burn the corn crop because of terrible problems and make fun of the children at a community meeting, Eden decides it is time to round up the other children and take over the town. Bo who is on her way to college tries to come up with a resolution but quickly finds herself trapped as Eden as all the adults executed in various horrific ways. This might not be the best of the bunch but it’s got some bite, a little brutal, and way fuckin’ better than that SyFy Channel remake several years back that just left a sour taste in your mouth as I give this movie 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!