Gross Movie Reviews #517

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Gross Movie Reviews #517

 

Scare Me (Shudder) – So this was the other horror film released this year with the same title ‘Scare Me’ where two strangers meet in the middle of nowhere to tell each other stories. Fanny and Fred meet while jogging one morning. Fanny – the best-selling scary and Fred – some random dude who works on ads and tries to get away from real life to see if he can make his dream happen? A power outage sends Fanny over to invade Fred’s space or cabin to order pizza and tell stories to each other. This would have made a great teleplay to play out on radio that I have listened too on many Friday nights driving back from Cinema Wasteland. I know I am going to catch heat for this popular film. But if you like an over 100 minutes of two actors who are reading a script to you the viewer and Chris Redd from SNL does cocaine halfway through for a break then you’ll be in your glory! I personally found the movie meh and not for me but I believe this was a film literally aimed at a certain audience and that was it as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Reflection (YouTube) – A super creepy short film from filmmaker Philip Brocklehurst where a man looks into the mirror too long and sees another reality. Scary thought is the other reality wants in more often than not as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.

Tales of Frankenstein (Vimeo/DVD) – This is an anthology that is a little different and interesting for ‘Frankenstein’ fans. Donald F. Glut takes some of his short stories he written and turns them into a film that Victor Frankenstein is the running theme throughout the anthology. The stories are set from 1887 to 1957 and vary throughout: the first story gives us an origin and a love story, the second is about greed, the third is a film noir involving a detective and a mad doctor, and the last story gives Frankenstein fans a little of everything including being set in Transylvania. I absolutely enjoy the twist on an old monster and its tales and doing it in the format of an anthology works brilliantly! A couple decades ago the film ‘Frankenstein Unbound’ proved you can tell a perfect story differently and if anything add to its mythology. Mr. Donald F. Glut does this without effort but my only complaint is the film looks way too clean (if that makes any sense to yinz film junkies)? Cinema fans this independent anthology is worth tracking down and making it a part of your collection and for friends to enjoy as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Big Freaking Rat (DVD) – This film is a prime example of an idea that could be so awesome but ruined because nothing was totally seen through and looks more like crap just being thrown at the wall. Now I never expect an amazing giant rat movie every time out but I do expect a legit fun rat movie and this was not it. The film stars Felissa Rose a favorite among most horror fans who stars alongside a park ranger named Chief Brody who has supposedly help clean up a camping destination that was abused for years. Unbeknownst to him because two hillbillies dumping toxic waste into the lake a “Big Freaking Rat” is running around beheading humans and munching on their flesh to live. Before he can ever get the camping site up and running he must deal with the large rodent issue as it quickly boils down to teenagers and an exterminator vs. a large rat which was done with practical effects most of the time. Instead of keeping it simple and giving us a long lost SyFy Channel flick we get a movie that has you asking way too many questions during it instead of enjoying the “Big Freaking Rat” as I give it 1 star.

 

Theater of Blood (DVD) – An absolute gem of a film starring Vincent Price who is a stage actor about to make a comeback. His critics were so rude and shitty to the great Shakespearean actor he commits suicide in front of them. Two years go by and the critics start dying of horrible deaths in Shakespearean ways. Some of them believe the great play actor has returned from the grave but the authorities have trouble believing the story. But as the bloody bodies keep piling up they need to close this case before all the famous London critics are dead. This was my first time watch and like ‘House on Haunted Hill’ it just seems Vincent Price does his best work when the filmmakers allow him just be Vincent Price. Some decades have passed since this film’s release but this is an absolute treat for any horror movie fan as Vincent Price playfully allows his goons to destroy his critics until the ultimate climax! I just smiled how wonderful this film was from beginning to end as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Mummy (DVD) – This 1959 remake of the Universal Pictures classic got many people to pay attention to Hammer films as it stars Peter Cushing as John where his father, friend and himself discover a long lost tomb of Princess Ananka. When they open it they are warned to leave it alone or a curse would fall upon them. After the tomb is opened and some time passes the Mummy (played by Christopher Lee) is revived by a scroll and it wants revenge on all who were a part of opening the tomb. The film is absolutely beautiful looking but Christopher Lee literally steals the film as The Mummy and how he portrays it. Never got into Hammer Studios this is a good place to start as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Sebastian’s Unholy Flesh (YouTube/DVD) – Dakota Ray’s (writer, director, and actor) latest effort is about a shift in the universe or this case Lucifer dying for an unknown reason. This sets in motion a demonic presence known as Sebastian who sets forth and becomes flesh in order to obtain “The Unholy Book”. Just because this old evil is looking for the book that can destroy all mankind doesn’t mean other unholy evils are not looking also. The book changes hiding places on a regular basis but Sebastian quickly learns how to get it but keeping it becomes a much bigger issue as other demons want to fight to death in order to handle this great power! Dakota Ray goes super dark with this evil flick and is a cool slow burn. My only complaint on this ultimate evil tale might be I was expecting a satanic bloodbath but never got it. Understand that did not stop Mr. Ray and crew from putting together a fine tale about what would happen if the devil died? I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and can purchased at https://www.storenvy.com/stores/868254-dakota-ray-r-a-productions .

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #488

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Gross Movie Reviews #488

 

Commando Squad (DVD) – A Fred Olen Ray action flick from 1987 that has more names in it than it does action. An undercover cop Clint (Brian Thompson) is in Mexico trying to put a stop to a cocaine growing and processing plant run by an ex-cop (William Smith) who is trying to recruit Clint once he is captured. Of course William Smith’s partner in crime is played by Sid Haig wants Clint dead and stop wasting time. But Clint’s old partner Kat played by Kathy Shower has been sent in for the rescue as she sidekicks her way through the whole drug cartel! I am a huge Brian Thompson fan, William Smith was fun, and Sid Haig was the best part of the film but there wasn’t anything there plot wise. The film just drags for a very long time so I can only give it 2 stars if that?

 

The Devil’s Bride (DVD) – A late 60s flick starring Christopher Lee as this Duke who swore to look out for this young man named Simon. Even if Simon does not want help the Duke swore to help and protect him. During a surprise visit the Duke finds Simon wrapped up with Satanists and they are having a party as they are about to have their circle of 13. The British movie is craziness of The Duke vs. Black Magic that features blood, sacrifices, strange images, possible orgies, The Devil, and even The Angel of Death! And Christopher Lee is just a plain bad ass in this taking it all on in order to save Simon. Fun Satanist shit that I give 3 stars.

 

3 From Hell (Theater) – Rob Zombie’s latest picks up from the end of “The Devil’s Rejects” where the three have taken on 20 bullets a piece in their bodies and somehow survived. After a quick court process all three are convicted but questions are raised on what exactly they did and how much? They become legendary figures in the media and ten years pass by. During that time Captain Spaulding is executed for his crimes so cue ‘we need a new character’ Richard Brake comes in as Otis’ half-brother. When Baby is denied parole and Otis escapes prison the brothers come up with a plan to break Baby out. Once out the three head for Mexico for safety but once again they must fight for their lives against Luchador assassins. This all sounds great in theory but in my opinion without getting too much into it just because if you like it? Good for you I am glad but personally I just feel Rob Zombie should have left this one alone and moved on to a different project. The film isn’t bad or anything I just feel he should have left the “Devil’s Rejects” ending alone as I give the movie 1 ½ stars.

 

Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (Shudder/DVD) – So it is now ten years since the original horrific events of the hotel went down. It is October 2018 and the hotel is scheduled for demolition but some super rich dude (Russell Wynn) steps in last second and buys the hotel. He wants the hotel to host his haunting interactive show called ‘Insomnia’ which people loved in New York. So why move the show in the sticks? Well he would like everyone to believe no matter where this new haunting attraction is at people will find it and pay to get in. But we have seen the other two movies and know something is up immediately but you won’t quite know why until closer to the end of the film. With this event happening in the hotel a new host for ‘Morning Mysteries’ is there to document everything but just like any normal person she is very leery of going in the hotel. Again strange things begin to happen until it leads up to opening night and its then you learn why Wynn bought the hotel in the first place. Great wrap up story as I give the movie 3 stars.

Little Monsters (On Demand) – Another amazing horror film comes from Australia, big surprise there… The film begins innocently enough about a man who has relationship and job trouble. When he and his girlfriend break up after nine years this sends David to live with his older sister and five year old kid. Of course Uncle David tries to be the cool Uncle but is very unsure what it is like to act like in front of kids. After David meets the kid’s teacher Miss Caroline, David immediately falls in love so he volunteers for a field trip a farm with the class. Believing this will help him get closer to Miss Caroline. Meanwhile, a U.S. military top secret facility is host to Project: Regeneration is right next to Pleasant Valley Farm where the kids’ field trip is at. Project: Regeneration has broken containment and unbeknownst to David and the kids, Teddy McGiggles turns into a real asshole when the zombie apocalypse happens! Miss Caroline’s goal is to keep the kids safe at all costs in this hilarious and light-hearted zombie flick. This is an absolutely lovable rewatchable zombie film that will most likely make my top ten list of 2019 as I give it 4 stars.

 

The 7th Victim (DVD) – An early 40s flick that tackles satanic cults where a young woman named Mary leaves school to go looking for her sister Jacqueline. She arrives in New York to look for her sister only to find Jacqueline’s husband and a lot of stories about her. Mary reports her missing to the police but a private investigator takes a personal interest in the case. When they believe they have tracked her down the private dick gets stabbed to death. As Mary unravels the mystery it becomes clear the satanic cult Jacqueline got mixed up with wants her dead but Jacqueline has other plans. The movie is a little slow but a very interesting take on satanic cults at the time that plays out more like a drama than a horror film. Even though I am giving this only 2 stars I do highly recommend giving this film at least one watch to see something cinematically different for the early 40s.

Candy Corn (On Demand) – An all-star cast heads up this Halloween fright flick about a young man Jacob who is a little different from everyone else. A small group of people have hazed Jacob every year on Halloween and this was going to be no different as Jacob now worked for the Freakshow that has rolled into town. The four head to the Freakshow and meet Jacob out back and the hazing goes too far as they kill Jacob. This upsets the barker of the Freakshow Dr. Death and he performs a ritual that brings Jacob’s body back with a horrific mask on. Undead Jacob tracks down each person in the group and brutally murders them for revenge. This flick has some great gore shots but overall the movie seems disjointed and doesn’t exactly commit to the Jacob storyline as you wanting to know more about the Dr. Death character. Right or wrong the filmmaker may have left out some important scenes concerning this character. Enjoyed Courtney Gains and P.J. Soles characters but like most horror films Tony Todd’s character seemed wasted as he is so much more… Don’t get me wrong a good Halloween film to check out but not a great one as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Annabelle: Creation (DVD) – So just in case you needed to know how Annabelle came to be I have two words for “Pet Sematary”. Yes indeed sometime in the late 30s or early 40s a little girl gets destroyed by a truck and after the parents were praying to whoever would listen… Presto, changeo, killer ghost child is back ready to fuck people up! A dozen years pass by until a group of orphan girls are offered to live at the home. Of course one of them doesn’t listen and open the room where Annabelle was hanging out at and now she lurks around for scares. I wasn’t expecting much but enjoyed the jump scares and the creepiness it kept from “The Conjuring” films as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #469

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Gross Movie Reviews #469

 

The Texas Roadside Massacre (DVD) – Five college kids roll through a small town called Blue Ridge. Karen and friends soon find themselves stranded after getting a hole in the fuel tank of their SUV. They are in for a fight of their lives as if they don’t they will become the next meal at the locally famous Blue Ridge BBQ restaurant. These days the movie can be found on DVD as “Roadside Massacre” as I give it 1 star.

 

Zombie Island Massacre (DVD) – Some stupid Americans on vacation take a cruise to an island where they witness a ceremony that brings the dead back to life. Of course most believe its fake but enough believe it was actually real. When they go back to the bus to leave they find it broken down and the guide missing. So they find themselves wandering through the jungle being picked off one by one by some zombie like creatures. A bit boring but still made it through for its laughable ending. The film’s composer is Harry Manfredini and you can possibly find this movie listed as “The Last Picnic” in some countries as I give it 1 star.

 

Witchtrap (DVD) – Kevin Tenney’s follow-up to “Witchboard” is this low budget film that stars Linnea Quigley and about a haunted mansion. Devon Lauder now owns the Avery mansion and wants to fix it up to be a bed and breakfast. But before that happens he hires paranormal experts to go investigate and make the home ‘safe’. Just to make sure nothing gets too rough a couple rent-a-cops are sent in with the team. The ghost that haunts the mansion wreaks havoc among the experts killing their miserable asses one by one. The film is nowhere near as good as “Witchboard” but has a wonderful shower kill scene involving Linnea Quigley as I give the film 2 stars.

Demons of the Night (DVD) – So Dan Komarek – filmmaker/independent horror fan has finally unleashed on the public a flick he made in 2008 with some friends. I like to believe the film was hidden somewhere in somebody’s dusty ass basement! The truth is somewhere along the way a lot of the original footage and sound were lost. But there is enough of a finished film to make some sense of what goes on…? A priest known as Father Richards shows up at Paul’s house to predict the devil or something is going to rise in six days on Halloween. Mr. Richards and Paul head to the woods known as Sword Valley searching for a graveyard. They get lost and separated and the priest encounters several weird ass people and creatures. Their main goal is to stop this from happening by any means. But just like many first independent projects there are many flaws. Dan the film is bad but I still felt entertained as it had a nostalgic feel to it while watching. The film felt like I stumbled upon an unfinished project from Jon McBride and the Polonia Brothers. Yes the sound issues did make the film very hard to follow but it was still fun and sometimes that is all you can ask for as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

 

Litost (DVD) – A very different independent film from Cody Rapp who comes out from the beginning to let you the viewer know the film was made without a script and budget on purpose. Even though no definition for the word ‘Litost’ is actually found in the dictionary the word is being defined as – is a state of agony and torment created by the sudden sight of one’s misery. We are introduced to the main character who says little throughout the film waking up in his bedroom. Every day he wakes, go to work, come back home, fights his illness. Rinse and repeat like most of us. Some public domain film footage from several films is used throughout the movie to move the story along. In the end to me at least it has that ‘art film’ feel to it as its expressing this character’s rage. Stay tuned until the end of the film to understand. I give it 2 out 4 stars for being more different than anything and most likely I am not the audience this film is aimed at but hey Mr. Rapp you did make a film so that is its own reward! I do have to mention I found one scene a little creepy when the main character eye balls the camera while forcing out his afternoon grumpy! And plus he didn’t wash his hands…

 

Massacre Mafia Style (Blu-ray) – A wonderful exploitation film that was written, produced, directed and starred in by Duke Mitchell as Mimi. Mimi is exiled to Italy at the age of 15 because of his father being a mafia boss who gets caught in the U.S. so he is exiled. Two years after his son is born and his wife dies of cancer Mimi wants to head back to the U.S. and take over all the bookies and hookers. Of course Mimi heads to Hollywood to do this and looks up an old friend to help him make this happen. Together the two guns down every pimp, bookie, and mafia person that gets in their way. He goes legit to make pornos among other things to not rein blood in the streets. After his best friend is killed he decides it is time to head back to Italy and settle. The film has over the top action and is the ADD version of “The Godfather”. Can’t sit for three hours to watch a mafia film then watch this as it gets it done in a little over 82 minutes as I give it 3 stars.

 

Hollywood Meat Cleaver Massacre (YouTube) – Mason and friends don’t agree with their college professor on his teachings. They believe it is all mumbo jumbo so they get drunk, drive to the professor’s house, and decide hey it’s cool to kill his whole family. But the professor does survive the attack and awakes to find out his family is dead so from his hospital bed conjures a demon! This demon kills the four college students one by one as the man lies in bed. The film is mostly known for Christopher Lee doing the narration before and after the film. But here was the kicker Mr. Lee was filmed by another producer in 1976 for a project that never happened and the footage was sold to the producers of thus said film. Mr. Lee supposedly lawyered up to take the producer to court but thought twice because of the time and money to get his name off the film… You can find the film grainy and in its glory on YouTube as I give it 1 ½ stars. This massacre title wasn’t horrible but wasn’t good either and you will most likely forget what you watched literally within hours of it.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #460

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Gross Movie Reviews #460

 

Anna and the Apocalypse (On Demand) – This is film is an absolute godsend from Scotland that smartly blends “High School Musical” and zombies in a fun and exciting way. Anna Shepard is going to be graduating soon and unlike her best friend who is going off to college she wants to travel. Of course her father isn’t all to happy and all Anna wants to do is get people out of ‘Thunder Balls’ bowling alley sooner than later. Anna and friends not caring or not paying attention to the rest of the world as a strange virus has struck all the major cities and turning people into zombies. Once a lot of singing about their lives is done in the first 30 minutes of the film the group of friends are faced with the end of the world. The end of the world is bloody and brutal but don’t let this film fool you as certain characters die off when you are not expecting. I absolutely loved the flow of the horror musical and how it is presented. Good chance this will show up my ‘Best of 2019’ as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Car: Road to Revenge (DVD) – Yes folks it is a sequel to the evil classic of the late 70s. But that is where it ends as I may have found the ‘worst movie of 2019’ already! After a district attorney dies on top of his new ‘Lazarus One’ it appears the car comes to life and has his personality. It begins murdering all involved… Boring piece of monkey shit needs to vaporized from any studio catalog or movie fan’s as I give it zero stars. And for the person who thought somewhere this was a good idea do me and all movie lovers a favor and quit your job… NOW!

Hexercise (Blu-ray/DVD) – So you claim you have seen everything? I bet you haven’t as a very talented Matt Cannon did a perfect job of bringing to life this homage to ‘aerobic horror movies’ from the late 80s. In August of 1969 a blood ritual is performed where the aerobics studio stands but it is stopped before completion. Twenty years pass and now there is a workout studio existing where a cute aerobics instructor named Kelly pricks her finger with her name tag. She bleeds on her boom box and floor and like black magic the ritual is back on! With this act Kelly has unleashed a demonic presence that is trying to kill all who work or attend the aerobics studio, including Kelly’s rapey boss. Everything is right about this film: the outfits, what I believe is a Commodore 64, lava lamp, T.V. and even the music makes this short film feel right. The twist on this homage is there is no dialogue as the actions of the characters tell the story. The film is in the same vein as the mid-2000s short film “The Misled Romance of Cannibal Girl and Incest Boy” and to me that is freakin awesome! I got to thank Matt Cannon for giving us horror freaks something we didn’t know we needed as I give this wonderful project 4 out of 4 stars. For more details on the film check out: www.facebook.com/Hexerciseordie .

 

Cold Skin (Shudder) – A way cool weirdo creature feature involving lighthouse keepers in the early 1900s. A young lad arrives to an island to relive a crackpot named Gruener. Gruener refuses to leave and wants to stay no matter what anyone says. But as the first nightfall begins the young lad soon understands Gruener isn’t a crackpot as some weird creatures come from the sea to land. Now homeless the young lad shacks up with Gruener learning secrets about the creatures and Gruener. A weird and twisted creature feature about the two lead characters coping with whether the creatures are there to cause harm or in the end actually live in peace. An amazing story that starts slow but grips you by the privates as it unfolds as I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

The Satanic Rites of Dracula (DVD) – An early funky 70s flick about Dracula where the authorities believe some of the prominent members of the community are part of a secret cult. When they begin investigating and get old Van Helsing they soon understand that Dracula is back and behind everything. But this isn’t Dracula’s old routine of wanting more vamps or some other non-sense. Dracula has scientists, biologists, etc. working on virus that is worse the ‘black plague’ something that would end the world including himself. Interesting plot twist this time around as it involves Van Helsing trying to lure Dracula to his death in some jaggerbushes! Yes they are real and I give this film 2 stars.

 

The Giant Spider Invasion (DVD) – Some strange occurrences have happened in the sky over a small Wisconsin town that has a couple scientists baffled. While they investigate what this event is all about apparently flesh-eating spiders of all sizes begin to invade the town for lunch! The scientists find a mini-black hole on the Kester farm and must act fast to close it or these spiders will grow in numbers. Some incest and some large ass spiders make it worth the watch but you have to fight through some very dull parts of the film as I give it 2 stars.

 

Bullied (DVD/YouTube) – A short film from a brilliant Nick Charles where a girl is bullied. The girl does the right thing and tells an adult about it but when it is ignored the little girl takes things into her own hands. A well said statement short film Mr. Charles as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

 

A Cold Night’s Death (YouTube) – An oddly familiar 1973 TV movie starring Eli Wallach and Robert Culp who play scientists that head to the Tower Mountain Research Center after losing contact with Dr. Vogel. It has been five days since they last heard from him and their research on monkeys is needed for space travel. The two soon find a dead Dr. Vogel and continue his work in order to finish the project in time. But some haunting things begin to happen as the days go by and it has been relayed to them that Dr. Vogel did not die of a heart attack but just mere exposure to the cold in a locked room with no one else. As the two keep fighting amongst themselves the answer is right in front of them but they figure it out to late. A fun flick to watch during a cold winter night as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Road Wars (DVD) – A 2015 post-apocalyptic flick from Asylum Entertainment that starts off wonderful involving a man who shows up in the wasteland with no memory. It is explained the world has gone to shit because of a virus that turns people into vamp-like zombie creatures. The virus acts like rabies of sorts that make them thirst for blood and stay out of the daylight. After the no-name man is taken in by a small group of survivors they make the decision to travel somewhere that a vaccine could be made or least tried. Problem is as I explain it sounds like a fun B-flick but it terribly falls apart as it is all over the place plot wise. Instead of trying to be its own movie it chooses to steal from several post-apocalyptic films and never fully committing to one storyline. Thus causing what could have been a fun B-flick to watch to a dog turd you wish would dry up and wish you never knew it existed as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #452

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Gross Movie Reviews #452

 

Horror of Dracula (DVD) – One of the early Hammer films that made Hammer a household name in 1958. The classic starred Peter Cushing as Van Helsing and Christopher Lee as Dracula and became the magic formula that a generation of horror fans cherished. And still do. Up until this film people only knew of Universal Studios version of Dracula. The original film was good but was a little boring at times. This version took a little twist, added bright blood, and Cushing and Lee playing their roles to perfection made this film an absolute delight. Harker is sent to Count Dracula’s castle to see if the rumors are true and if so kill him. Harker fails but gets his diary out for Helsing to find and give him clues on what happened at the castle. Problem is Count Dracula now wants a new woman and heads out looking for Harker’s Lucy. No one believes Van Helsing about Count Dracula until he finds an undead Lucy trying to take a child to her crypt. This version of the Dracula films might be the first film I would introduce to a new fan of vampires. Don’t get me wrong Bela Lugosi was awesome but they upped the ante having Cushing and Lee at their peak. This film gets 4 stars all the way.

 

Halloween (Theater) – Remake, sequel, forgetting everything in the series? Take your pick as Blumhouse Productions goes the route of JJ Abrams “Star Trek” in bringing Michael Myers back for another installment. That’s the best way to describe it. But I will give you the long way about it also: Okay folks, first you are supposed to forget everything after the first film 40 years ago… Second, even though “Halloween II” took place the same night Halloween 1978, forget that too just in case. Third, no this isn’t a remake of “H20” even though there are a few scenes of déjà vu. Fourth, Laurie Strode and Michael Myers are not brother and sister which I believe they explain quickly and brilliantly during the film. Fifth, didn’t Laurie Strode die? Oh yeah, you were supposed to forget that too since you are not supposed to remember she died already in Part 8. Sixth, no Busta Rhymes and Michael died for good at the end of part 8 (if interested “Halloween: Resurrection”, remember don’t blame me). Seven, didn’t Rob Zombie start a new timeline? It’s very therapeutic for me to explain this.  Now with all that out of the way I absolutely fucking love this film. It felt like a part of the series part sequel/part renewing of original material. After The Babysitter Murders in 1978 Michael Myers was captured by the Haddonfield Police and Dr. Loomis. Since then Michael has been sitting in a maximum security asylum for the past 40 years and Laurie Strode has become a basket case doomsday prepper who suffers from surviving that night. A British podcast team comes asking questions on the 40th anniversary of the murders. Laurie is more concern as they are about to move Michael to a horribly tortuous secured facility where he will live out the rest of his life not saying a word. They show him the mask and it does get a reaction but still no words. It is believed that both Michael and Laurie only live to kill each other at this point? Of course Michael escapes and starts murdering spree going house to house until finding out where Laurie and her family is. This time Laurie is prepared! If you pay attention there is a lot of talk of Dr. Loomis, the school daze scene, Laurie Strode falling out the window and getting up, the people behind this really did their best to incorporate the first film. Including the opening credits! Simply it was nice to enjoy the series again without trying to reinvent the ‘Boogeyman’ as I give this 4 stars with a little hesitation for the mere reason I believe there is a couple different endings for this film and that MAKES ME INTRIGUED.

I Think We’re Alone Now (DVD) – A very interesting post-apocalyptic film that stars Peter Dinklage in a small town where a plague of sorts hit the world. He has been living there for some unknown amount of time cleaning out houses and burying the dead. Del catalogs everything and is at peace with the life of living alone. Then one evening fireworks go off and a car crash in town. Del gets up goes to investigate only to find a young lady with a gun and knocked out. Once awake he explains she should be on her way but Grace is looking for a home and just seeing the sights? The two get to know each other and Del accepts Grace’s presence into his peaceful world until it is shattered when he awakes and hears voices. He peaks downstairs only to meet her parents, sort of? As she asks for help from Del but refuses and leaves but he is told of a town that has gotten past the apocalypse and has returned to normal life again. It haunts him until he takes a drive looking for her. The film hints constantly at something more sinister is going on… This film gets 3 ½ stars from me as it comes up with a post-apocalyptic world that isn’t all about assless chaps, Eye-talians, zombies, and flesh eating viruses. This is something different that does not focus on the problem as just people existing and moving on.

 

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (Theater) – This story is somewhat separate from the first film but continues inside the Goosebumps universe. A couple of kids running an after school business called ‘The Junk Bros.’ are asked to clean out an old house where they find a trunk. The trunk holds an unpublished book from R.L. Stine/Jack Black called “Haunted Halloween”. Once they open it they unleash Slappy. Slappy is hell bent on making the book a reality and giving it the ending that has yet to be written? So on Halloween night Slappy and the Goosebumps got everybody running for their lives again as now Slappy wants his own mother. The kids are forced to not only save mom but defeat Slappy or it becomes ‘Haunted Halloween’ every day. The sequel introduces ‘The Haunted Mask’ and a few other Goosebumps characters we may have not seen in the first film but this one felt more like its own story. The first film felt more of an origin story to the “Goosebumps” story world. Of course it’s left open for a third but I will be surprised to see a third film unless it is “Horrorland” in theaters? The info that is circulating out there why this one took so long and why they didn’t have most of the main characters return from the first film was: conflicting schedules. Don’t worry Goosebumps fans the movie is still a lot of fun and might not have been the sequel I believe we all wanted… It is still very entertaining and gets 3 stars.

 

Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley’s Island of Dr. Moreau (Blu-ray) – An unbelievable documentary that dives right into the rumors and truth on what the hell really happened on the set of the remake of “Island of Dr. Moreau”. This is a subject if you were a horror fan, let me correct that a Richard Stanley you were nothing but excited for this project back in the mid-90s. “Hardware” and “Dust Devil” were amazing projects and breathed some much needed air into cinema. I believe the project was being remade for what the third time now but Stanley had some fresh ideas. But when the crew and Stanley started shooting that’s when all the weird stories began to happen, weird casting choices, Stanley being fired and disappearing, New Line Cinema wasting millions of dollars, etc. The stories seem to be urban myths as the internet wasn’t what we know it today. For the first time we get the whole story from everyone involved (mostly) and you decide: Richard Stanley completely crazy or just misunderstood and the project was forced to go down in flames from all involved? This is the type of documentary that gives you not only the inside look of how Hollywood people can lose their mind but how it can affect all involved. Great deep inside stuff on this disc and actually makes me want to revisit the remake just for the hell of it as I give the documentary 3 ½ stars.

 

Impulse (YouTube) – All you need to know folks is William Shatner as a very sleazy con man taking rich woman for their money! Hands down one entertaining mid-70s flick that I give 2 ½ sleazy Shatners. If you are a 70s film buff and haven’t seen this one? You will not be disappointed and thank YouTube for it.

Cannibal Tick (DVD) – William Long’s latest independent project is feature length and deals with mutations. There is an experiment with ticks by a good doctor who has been modifying their genetics. Making the tick an unstoppable eating machine! The good doctor knows this is some bad stuff he is working with and knows it’s only a matter of time before something bad happens with lab protocols not being followed. Of course the assistant has stolen the samples and the new cannibal tick gets out destroying everything. Now containment is almost an abandoned idea. I enjoy Mr. Long’s vision of what he wants on film. He doesn’t have the budget or crew to pull it off but still has the passion to bring it to life and see what happens. It has a few sound and pacing issues but just like early Polonia Brothers S.O.V. films Mr. Long still makes an entertaining film for us independent movie buffs as I give it 2 ½ stars. Check out the Facebook page for more info: www.facebook.com/Cannibal-Tick-129223514362159 .

 

Happy Death Day (DVD) – I put this film off for a good long time because it was PG-13 and just thought it would be another commercialized throw away horror film? I WAS WRONG! I got interested after seeing the sequel trailer feeling it was time to sit down and give this a try. Blumhouse Productions apparently knows what they are doing. I now put them with A24 studios in that segment of my mind when I see the label their films are must-see. Anyway the film centers around a college girl named Tree who keeps living her birthday over and over as she is killed during the day at some point. Think “Groundhog Day” the horror movie version. After several times of this happening she decides to use the day to investigate who is actually trying to kill her and see if she can stop it from happening. If she does she gets to live to see tomorrow. Simple horror movie but with great casting, characters you actually care about, and a horror that has no business being this damn good. Sometimes we or just I can drudge through some bad, boring, and downright worthless horror films but a gem like this is why I love horror movies. I give this wonderful horror film not meant for me and my age 3 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Last of the original horror greats and a great wrestling icon may yinz rest in peace…

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Most of the time I do not post something or comment on people dying too much because hell everybody does. Its the internet and everyone has a website, a blog, a podcast, etc., but this was a little different as in the past 24 hours I as many of yinz reading this have lost a horror great and wrestling icon and like me a piece of your childhood left you.

christopherlee

Christopher Lee was an amazing actor that finally seem to get noticed again when he showed up in the recent “Lord of the Rings” and “Stars Wars” films. To some he will be remembered as a great actor in the Hammer films, to some he will be remembered as one of the last great horror icons (Peter Cushing, Vincent Price, Christopher Lee… Some would even place John Carradine in this group). He outlived them all to not only have a long career but go out on top as many, many new horror fans took notice of him in recent years as he started to make a lot of appearances in big films. But I will always remember him for this flick “Howling 2” as many horror geeks my age were introduced to him this way…

 

Dusty Rhodes was a wrestler that doesn’t fit the mold of what people call wrestlers today. But don’t let the appearance fool you as I have seen this dude wrestle one hour matches, barb wire matches, and legendary matches against the Four Horsemen of the 80s and early 90s.

Dusty

He fought for the common man as he would state in his many promos. He was hilarious when he was an announcer on WCW Saturday Night or as he referred to it as the ‘mother ship’. Dusty had a bionic elbow! He seem to be the only wrestler that the Four Horsemen feared. And for some weird reason he fit right in with the Road Warriors when there was a six man tag match.

 

 

Dusty made you love watching wrestling. He made you get excited when he would face Ric Flair because anything went. But whatever it was he was just a very interesting figure in the wrestling business that seem to have bodybuilders taking over and if that wasn’t enough and you remember the early days of NWA TV you will remember him and Dick Murdoch tag teaming!

 

I wish both men to rest in peace as a small piece of my childhood also as I have followed both since I was very young. Both will be missed not only by me but millions of other horror, wrestling, and regular geeks around the world. Glad both of yinz made an impact on this world!