Tag Archives: Blu-ray

Gross Movie Reviews #626

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Infinite Santa 8000 (Blu-ray) – One of my favorite Indy releases over the years is an animated feature from two brilliant minded people Michael Neel and Greg Ansin. Funny thing is it has been about ten years since I first reviewed this masterpiece of cinema coming to DVD. Now finally getting the special edition treatment through a great company Synapse Films more people will get to witness the glorious movie that I have talked about for years. This is a mind-blowing post-apocalyptic animation set thousands of years into the future where Santa still thrives or now just survives looking for people who still have the Christmas spirit. We begin with a narration to catch up the viewer “of how we got here” as Cyborg Santa is about to ‘Thunderdome’ with another in order to win sacks of meat as food is scarce in this world. Yes folks, our future are super violent, robots have taken over earth, and Santa must fight to survive but he still lives in the North Pole! What keeps the jolly bastard going these days is a robot girl named Martha who when not training loves to hang out with Santa in his workshop and hear stories of Christmas past. But after a mysterious visitor one evening Martha is kidnapped from Santa’s Ranch and we are off to the races with complete chaos as Santa and his robotic reindeer jump into action to chase down an evil rabbit! Martha’s and our holiday hero discover this is only the beginning as a thing from the past Dr. Shockleton and her mutant army are on course to not only to rid the world of the Santa menace but to reshape the world into her own. For movie nerds out there let me break this down: imagine elements of the film Wizards, Adult Swim programming, scenes from the original Terminator and Mad Max films, and a character that is a straight up an old school Bond villain, and a soundtrack that feels like lost audio tracks from early Slayer mashed together into this beautiful piece of animation that in the end is all about the Christmas spirit! And what is even better is this is the director’s cut with extended and new scenes added including a little look into who Dr. Shockleton is after credits?! To me what makes this even more special is the short interviews with the voices of the cast so you get to see and hear who these talented people are, the original 13 part web series of this project, audio commentary from the dynamic duo themselves Michael Neel and Greg Ansin, music videos, plus more than anything this feature being on Blu-ray I believe makes everything in this feature pop and look even better than it ever did when watching it ten years ago on YouTube and such. This brilliant piece of holiday cinema will make a great addition to horror fans’ collections but also yearly holiday movie watching for years to come as my opinion has never changed giving it 4 out of 4 stars and now officially can be found at www.synapsefilms.com .      

Cryptids (Dropbox) – Justin M. Seaman and Zane Hershberger at no time are not working on a project as they put together with some other filmmakers an anthology that uses the “Mothman Festival” as a back drop and the legendary movie host Joe Bob Briggs as Harlan Dean a radio host for a program about Cryptids. For this week’s show Harlan has asked callers to call in with stories that deal with cryptozoology! First story deals with a legend of “Melon Heads” or young people who were experimented on instead of being taken care of by their doctor and escaped the facility to live in the woods. Second story is about a park ranger and his partner facing off with a group of Sasquatches deep in the woods while looking for lost campers. (Which I quite enjoyed the ending) The third story is the hilarious entry of the bunch that I think holds the anthology together of a man who disappears in the woods after he finds a monstrous fish creature and has what seems like an acid trip? This story works well for where it is as it releases a little pressure of the tension that was built up by the first two stories. Fourth story is set on Halloween where a fisherman brings home a mysterious rock/large egg thing that he wants to use for his set up that night. Problem is the thing hatches and now little ghoulish things are running rampant through the house. The fifth is about two chupacabras chasing down individuals in a building for the fun of the Mexican cartel who watch it on closed circuit TV. The last story involves two young men who decide to have a monster hunt for a mysterious animal that may or may have not been eating all the neighborhood animals recently to set up a prank. The anthology comes in at a brisk 76 minutes with all entries being quite delightful and entertaining experiences into cryptozoology. The project is well casted, well shot, as has Justin and Zane showing off their talents once again in the world of low budget filmmaking as I give this anthology 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Last Christmas in the Universe (YouTube) – The fine folks from Spain that have brought you the over the top brilliant work of “Fist of Jesus” and “Brutal Relax” have returned with a post-apocalyptic holiday short film. It is December 25th next year?! Everything has gone to shit and a gang of brutal thugs are about to kill a man but Santa has arrived because even though everything is just about dead Santa has a job to do as long as there is still one good person left. Santa and his magical bag of presents turns the fight to the death into a fantastic holiday splatterfest that includes Santa playing ‘Twister’ (the version of the game here in the US) with the thugs’ body parts in order to save this one good person. Need some dark humor in your Season’s Greetings look no further than this absolutely fun gorefest that will just make you smile like the days of unwrapping all those cool presents as a kid as I give this wonderful holiday short film 4 out of 4 stars. Also these talented people are in need of your support so please check out www.patreon.com/RedParty to help.  

Mean Guns (Tubi) – This little known film has direct-to-video from 1997 written all over it as its about mobsters in a new prison staring Ice-T, Christopher Lambert, and Thom Mathews among a few other familiar faces. The real plot of it is getting all these members of the ‘syndicate’ who may have made a mistake or two recently and weed them out. Three out of a hundred are allowed to survive and collect a share of ten million dollars? But Ice-T has plans for all these evil bastards in the end as he plans to screw them all in this 110 minute “not totally sure if there was a real plot” action crime/action flick as I give it 2 ½ stars. P.S. think of this as Albert Pyun’s version of ‘The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly’ in a prison?

Adrenalin: Fear the Rush (Tubi) – A weird post-apocalyptic flick of sorts from 1996 starring Christopher Lambert where at the time Russia falling apart causes a bio-weapon germ to leak out and destroy most of Europe. Now some years have passed and this so-called germ has mutated and possibly causes the human race to become a super cannibalistic infected thing that infects people by touching them! This nasty thing has shown up in a ‘Control Zone’ and the local police chase it down in some tunnels only to become the hunted as the government knows what a disaster it could become. To make it even more fun we get Andrew Divoff playing one of the mysterious government types in this lower budgeted but effectively fun cat and mouse ‘infected’ film that I give 2 ½ stars too.

Blue Monkey (Blu-ray) – You know the story of John Vernon happens to run a hospital that so happens to be testing a laser thingy? Well of course some old dude gets pricked by a foreign plant at his woman’s greenhouse that basically gives him a heart attack and a weird bacterial infection. The infection eventually sends the hospital into lockdown which randomly has Joe Flaherty from SCTV and his pregnant movie wife at the hospital trying to give birth. It has nothing to do with the story but come on we all love Joe! Meanwhile Steve Railsback and a doctor are trying to track down the infection that has mutated into a creature with a Nintendo gun… That is before the government just runs and burns the place to the ground because they consider it a “Class 4 Quarantine”. The 1987 film was also known as ‘The Insect’ and that is most of what I wrote for a review several years ago for this movie. For as much as I am not a huge fan of this flick it does have a solid cast and believe this new transfer of the film to Blu-ray adds to the rewatching experience. The Blu-ray version is not as dark and colorful in spots that wasn’t highlighted throughout the film whether it was the creature and its lair in the basement of the hospital or just giving it even more late 70s TV movie look? Anyway I believe this helped me enjoy the film a little more and give it a little more respect a second time around as I give it another ½ star (2 stars overall now) for this B-movie madness.

Bad CGI Gator (Tubi) – Danny Draven for Full Moon tries to go the old SyFy Channel and Roger Corman route with fully knowing there is an independent movie out there called “Bad CGI Sharks” with making a simple quick film here. The movie takes place in southern Georgia (or out in the woods of Cleveland) where young college kids come to party and try to trend on their social media accounts by throwing their laptops into the pond! A gator lurking by gets electrocuted by the laptops and grows so next thing you know this mutated animal is doing (dated reference here) Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon shit all over the cottage. The movie only runs 58 minutes which is a good thing as the movie wasn’t bad but if it makes sense at all wasn’t that interesting as it seemed like one those projects you question “why was it made now?” Anyhow it’s out there and I still enjoy Full Moon but can only give this project 1 star.

Caddy Hack (DVD) – Killer gophers on a golf course in a no budget flick I am usually in for but a “Caddyshack” parody forty years later sounds like a project that should have never left the paper the script was printed on? Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed the killer gophers in this flick but there was a lot of filler in order to fill a running time. I am not saying don’t watch this film has there does look like these folks put a good amount of time and effort into it but next time go watch “Zombeavers” before you tackle a project like this? Or take a cue from the short film classic “Night of the Hell Hamsters”? Anyway for those of you that are weird like me and have to watch it… a shitty golf tournament at “The Old Glory Holes” golf course is in jeopardy when Hambone the groundskeeper accidentally mutates the gophers with his experimental fertilizer spray (not pesticides as listed on IMDB) in turns has the little bastards grow into a horrible “Gremlins” remake! Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy ideas like this but sometimes they just need to stay ideas if that make sense as I give this unneeded parody 1 star.

Toga Party Massacre (DVD) – This rare SOV flick made out of love and no money returns from 1989 to be available again for us completely nutzoid Indy fans. This horror parody gets in and out in 39 minutes as two young ladies have a toga party (even a dated reference at that time) after the parents head out of town. The party is rocking along until two dudes show up late (one wearing a Helloween shirt, kudos) to tell the story of Frankie Robertson that kills the vibe of the party! Now a mysterious man in a mask shows up to kill everyone, is it Frankie Robertson? This is one of those early SOV films that are so bad but so much fun as I laughed several times throughout giving it 3 stars and advise all fans to track this down for some fun.

1962 Halloween Massacre (DVD-R) – College school project, regular Indy project, whatever it is considered this is a film that takes place in 1962 following four friends to a party in the middle of nowhere. As no one dies for the first forty minutes of the film a mysterious killer stalks the party if you wanna call it that as it’s only a party when someone has to die as 99% of the film is focused on these four kids. There is a good idea of a serial killer film somewhere in here but what doesn’t help the project is the film is a very talky horror film. Lots of banter between the four kids driving to the party that continues throughout the movie like the filmmaker had something to prove? Or wanted to say I am smarter than the viewer which never flies these days. Either way if you can through the endless dialogue you will see what I mean about there is a good film somewhere in there it was just not made simply as I give this project 1 ½ stars.

There is Something in the Barn (On Demand) – A holiday horror delight that will baffle horror fans “how wasn’t this in theaters again?” It is Norway at Christmas time as a family has inherited a home in Norway and decided to move from the U.S. to this beautiful landscape. With that in mind the parents decide they are going to remodel the barn to turn it into an Air BnB or something within the year. But their son has different plans as the young boy learns of the barn elves and discovers they have one. The boy wants to respect the barn elf but the parents begin to follow through on their plans and that is where the holiday fun begins with the elves looking to kill all involved! It sucks not many got to see this entertaining horror film this past season but have a feeling like ‘Violent Night, Fatman, and Christmas Bloody Christmas’ horror fans are going to be adding this fun holiday horror to their list next year as I give it 3 stars.

Thanksgiving (On Demand) – It is the Grindhouse trailer turned into a feature that horror fans screamed for years. I have a whole theory on that but let’s get to the review first. For the first time ever the Right Mart store in Plymouth, Mass., is open on Thanksgiving and these people are vicious. A riot happens because the stupid humans want their waffle irons. Many are injured and a few are killed. One year passes by and it’s that time of the year again but some teenagers are receiving social media posts that they are invited to a creepy dinner as a mysterious figure in a John Carver mask has taken to slaughtering the residents who were apart of the riot. Its bloody, it’s fun, turned out better than I thought it would to give us a modern day Thanksgiving slasher that I give a solid 3 stars too. Now on that theory part of this film finally getting made? Should this been made a few years back when the whole ‘black Friday’ thing was more of a thing, yes. Should he have brought this to life after “Machete, Hobo with a Shotgun” got out there, yes. But Eli Roth working on other projects that either had horror fans frustrated fans or them happy as I believe this was a project he always intended to do but never found the right time? Now a little more mature in his filmmaking ways and a good chance of we will never know for sure behind the scenes he may have been forced to make this project when no one seen it happening because he was about to lose it? I have been critical of Eli Roth in the past as some will know but this feels like a Carpenter move by Roth in understanding what fans want but also understanding he is a fan also? There is more to this theory but I think you get what I am saying as I think it was good we got this horror film as it may have not been perfect but believe overall horror fans will enjoy it for years to come.

The Loch Ness Horror (DVD) – For the love of Rutger Hauer what the hell are yinz kids doing over there in the UK making this dumb bullshit? A ship goes down after searching for the mystical creature. Now, an exec cobbles together an unlikely crew for a rescue mission which of course isn’t true soon as you see the characters arrive on a docked ship that never leaves port. Yes this is one of those reviews where I point out all the dumb shit! Anyhow if the CGI monster and ocean isn’t enough be sure to pay attention to the storm that doesn’t get anyone wet, the radar on a cell phone honestly people you are on a fucking large navy vessel, the boat is supposed to be moving and the dude driving it is somewhere in the basement of the boat and yes I said basement because that is where this film should have stayed, or pay attention to the characters as the male characters look like bad extras from a fishing show and the female characters seem they are dressed to have drinks on their little rich yacht! Details PEOPLE! This wasn’t just bad this project is stupid bad and makes me question why I keep watching these things as I give it 0 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

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Gross Movie Reviews #574

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Gross Movie Reviews #574

Doctor Death Seeker of Souls (DVD) – This hilariously fun horror flick from the early 70s centers around a man name Fred who is trying to get over his wife’s death and feeling somewhat guilty? Last thing she said to Fred is, “she will return to him”. Fred hanging on to this spends several months tracking down séances, etc., trying to contact his wife, but no luck. Fred is introduced to Doctor Death who has a mysterious past and works like a magician but not so fast he has some dark powers of transference or transferring a soul to another body for a certain fee of course. Doctor Death is paid $50000 by Fred but nothing happens… Disgusted by the act Fred calls it quits and starts bumping uglies with his hot assistant. But Doctor Death cannot let it go and begins a murder spree of women trying to make this one transference right? I believe this glorious 70s cheese still works and worth checking it out like I did if you never heard of it as I give it 3 stars.

The Weirdsies (Blu-ray) – One of the last films from Indy filmmaker Chris Seaver in 2015 who now has turned to doing episodic TV for his You Tube channel did a disturbing parody of ‘Stand by Me’. A funny but yet disturbing adventure of four friends who want to lose their “V-card” during the summer. Their adventure is because they know about a dead body and the plan is to go to it and fuck the shit out of it because supposedly after death the male boner stays erect for 48 hours? (I wasn’t going to look this shit up but you gotta admit, real or not, that’s funny.) If that wasn’t enough there is a group of bullies that want to beat these four virgins to the punch by finding the body first to ruin a good time. And for just for extra spice there is about 40 second-rant about running into cannibal hipsters that I am still laughing about many days after watching. Chris Seaver: intelligent, dumb, or indifferent I was never a huge fan of his work but throughout his independent film career he does seem to surprise me with a project where I believe he shows off a talent that separates himself from just being average. As he proves one more time with this timeless funny adventure I give 3 out of 4 stars.      

The Scarlet Agency (DVD) – Witch Doctor Films is back with another entry into the “Anton Rook” series. Anton Rook is no longer a trusted man by the agency but things change when an evil man may have found a way to produce an invisible man that would lead to making an invisible army for world domination. This invisible man seeks out Rook’s help to try and stop this madman and with Rook’s new protégé they craft a plan but as usual not all as it seems in Rook’s universe as no one can ever be trusted. As usual this independent film is well-crafted and goes from just feeling another fan-made episode of ‘Doctor Who’ to reaching deeper into the character of Rook and making it more of a well-crafted Indy James Bond flick! Well done my friends at Witch Doctor Films as yinz continue to go against the grain and produce some different and exciting independent projects to sometimes a stale genre of filmmaking as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Blood Thirst (DVD) – A lesser known murder/mystery from the Philippines where several murders have taken place where women have been strung up and drained of blood. Miguel the lead investigator has a world renowned detective friend in New York and has asked him into his country to help solve these vicious murders. The detective a super white dude acts as a tourist to not attract attention while helping Miguel but both uncover something more sinister than they ever thought as the bloodless bodies continue to pile up! Maybe not the best serial killer film but definitely a good one from 1971 that has a little twist to what exactly is going on as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Without Warning (Blu-ray) – This is 1980 alien invasion flick that has a lot of cool people infront of the camera and behind the camera at the same time. An alien has landed on Earth in a mountain countryside of course where it is able to do its thing without question. A couple of cub scouts and hunters hanging out in the woods find this out the hard way as the alien throws starfish blood suckers at them like ninja stars! After some friends get separated and a couple become dinner for the killer starfish and alien their friends want revenge and go to the local tavern to meet up with a crazy war vet and a mean loner. The second half of the film is mostly the characters of Sarge and Taylor fighting over who is going to kill the alien instead of actually doing the deed. The Blu-ray has a few interesting extras that make this package exciting for horror film collectors to have their collection but I have always viewed this film as “one of those should have been better with all who were attached?” as I give the film 2 stars but the Blu-ray package itself 3 ½ stars.

Slugs (Blu-ray) – Plain and simple this is a horror film about killer slugs! A small rural town where people are getting eaten up killer slugs that may have mutated in the sewers when they were disturbed by a new strip mall project. The project is being built on top of an old chemical dumping area during the 60s and 70s and they have broken the seal causing the slugs to feast on human flesh! The heroes are two utility workers who must figure a way out to kill these things before they infest the whole town. The Blu-ray is well worth investment if a fan of the film as not only the film looks great restored as I believe for decades we all had that VHS/DVD release? But also this package has a couple commentaries and a few short interviews that leads into why and where this movie got made which I never knew the film was Spanish, cool shit people. I give this new Blu-ray package of ‘Slugs’ 3 ½ stars.

Homebodies (VHS) – This is a creepy and disturbing mid-70s film that may stick with you as a group of older folk are being driven out of their homes in the name of progress. Their buildings have been condemned and slowly they are being escorted out of their apartments where their have lived most of their adult lives. With construction happening all around them the leader of their group Mattie has a plan as she likes to watch the work go on or I should say her plan go into action? The group slowly sabtoges the new construction in order to have their evictions delayed but the rich boss doesn’t care how many of his crew die its progess! But these old folk will kill whoever gets in their way. It is terribly sad, hilarious, and screwed up all at the same time with an ending I really enjoyed. Been looking for a lesser sadistic horror film to brighten your day look no further than this film as I give the 1974 feature 3 stars.

Miami Connection (DVD) – Ninjas, a biker gang, with cocaine fighting a pop band in Miami who also just happen know martial arts… Yep, I will watch that shit! This 1987 film is like one big 86 minute fight scene that includes cheesy music that feels like it was stolen from an early Nintendo game as I give it 2 ½ stars for just entertaining the hell out of me.

A Meowy Dark Timeline (www.SteveBuster.com) – So Steve Rudzinski fans, Steve continues to make entertaining content for his streaming service outside of his wonderful features as this one is a short five part series that involves all the characters you know and love. The evil emperor is in another universe and has found a way to conquer this alternate universe as it fights its way through several of Steve’s characters from past films. This is a project full of heart for all those people who nerd out over what the talented Mr. Rudzinski has created over the years. You will laugh, you might cry, but Steve knows what to give his fans when it comes to content. So you asked for it and Steve provides as I give this short series project 4 out of 4 stars for the mere reason finding a way to include everything and available at www.stevebuster.com or on Blu-ray at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

Hell of the Evil Dead (Blu-ray) – Rock Bottom Video who continue to produce smart and different horror titles for the Indy world to eat up has this fun project from a few years back that stars the talents of Brian Papandrea, Sadie Tate, and Nathan Rumler. This isn’t your ordinary feature as they go with a dubbed Italian version (regular English version is on the Blu-ray) to give the feature even more of a fun “Italian filmmaking feel” and it worked. Four friends go camping and stumble upon a graveyard out in the forest that after finding it weird things begin to happen: the path disappears, weird creature like sounds, and day turns to night without changing back. The four move deeper into the woods hoping to outlast or outrun this evil presence but things only get much worse when they find a trailer/cottage with a lone survivor to tell his story of what happened. Great acting, love the whole Italian dubbed thing as it gave the film a whole different feel to it, great pacing, and some good special effects work (head exploding). Indy fan don’t let the title fool you this film needs to be seen. Plus, there is a couple extras that include a disturbing “lost scene” from the film that needs to be witnessed (Thank you Nathan Rumler and Brian Papandrea for not taking yourselves too serious, that extra is glorious) as I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. (Rock Bottom Video can be found on Facebook)

Robo Warriors (DVD/YouTube) – Kids, ‘Robot Jox 3’ or ‘2’ has been found… Wait a second there was another one? Yep, I didn’t know either until I was watching something that was sent to me by a great movie friend. The film is based on Stuart Gordon characters, has Richad Band’s music, giant robots fighting in the future for mankind, distributed by Paramount… Sounds like a sequel to me!? Anyway, by 2036 some aliens invade Earth and are complete dicks as they enslave mankind. A group of resistance fighters led by James Remar make their way into a jungle to recover an Earthbot. This is their only chance to survive and protect the planet. The mission fails but Remar’s character Gibson escapes and disappears. Some time passes but a kid has done his research and believes he can get the Earthbot going again if he can find it? With the help of Gibson they retrieve it and give humans hope again but they must use it to fight in one huge Robot battle with control of the world in the balance. Full Moon and Empire fans will go ape shit over watching this and if they never had the pleasure of stumbling over this feature as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #565

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Gross Movie Reviews #565

Amityville: The Final Chapter (DVD) – Just like ‘Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter’ this franchise lied to us big time and try to hide it by marketing this film under a different title ‘Sickle’. Over the years the title has been changed back and forth but it is entry #36 so what were you expecting? Anyway kids, this story has a 27 year old known as “The Babysitter Killer” getting released from prison after 15 years. Michael a kid at the time claimed he was visited by a creature in a top hat that made him kill his babysitter when he was 12. Now adult, some ghost hunters cross paths with the newly released man and believe it is a great idea to take Michael back to the house where it all happened? Of course this causes the demonic force known as “Sickle” to reappear and ruin everyone’s day or night… its fucking ghost hunting does it matter at this point? This hot piece of garbage is high on the Amityville list of almost unwatchable as I give this entry 0 stars enjoy kids.

The Monster of Piedras Blancas (DVD) – Say that title five times fast, anyway before I review this: quick question: is the lighthouse location in this 1959 film the same as the one in “John Carpenter’s The Fog”? Back to your regularly scheduled review, two brothers are found dead near the lighthouse after going night fishing the night before. The deaths look suspicious and of course there is a small town legend of a monster that has lived along the rocks of the ocean. The old man who lives next to the lighthouse knows the truth and has fed the monster meat scraps from the town market for some time now. But the monster hungers more as it enjoys ripping human heads off and sucking the blood out of their neck. Can the monster be stopped? Is there more than one in the caves off this coastal town? A fun drive-in flick that I am surprised I never got the chance to see on Chilly Billy or something when growing up as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alligator (Blu-ray) – You all have seen or heard of this movie by now where a baby alligator is thrown the toilet and years later its living in the sewers feeding on dead animals and such. Now it’s up to Robert Forster to get people to believe him a giant alligator is gonna eat everybody in the city. The 1980 film is cheesy fun but now finally has gotten the special Blu-ray treatment it has deserved for a long time. We get a new 4K scan of the original negative for not only the theatrical but the TV version of the movie and it looks just amazing as when the alligator coming up through the sidewalk looks hilariously cheesy. I mean honestly for years most of the film was grainy and hid the glorious scene well. We get tons of interviews, commentaries, lots of fun stuff in this 3-disc version you never knew you needed until it existed as I give it 4 stars.

Alligator II: The Mutation (Blu-ray) – Almost a decade later we get a fun cheeseball sequel with no Robert Forster but an all-star cast that makes this sequel much more interesting than it ever should have been? This time around a baby alligator is fed a steady diet of hormones and other chemicals from the Future Chemicals Corporation and we get another giant alligator that is going to attack a city festival where Steve Railsback plays an asshole trying to buy up everyone’s property. Richard Lynch and Kane Hodder steal the show as “gator hunters”. This sequel is dislike by some horror fans, for me it has always a weird fun appeal to me and makes all the right sense in the world to pick this new version up as it also has some fun interviews that make the film worth the watch all over again as I give it 3 ½ stars. Which by the way did you know this film was made for TV not the theater or direct-to-video, weird stuff?

Aquaslash (DVD) – A Canadian horror/comedy where some high school graduates are partying at a waterpark for the weekend. Of course most of the movie has a lot of graduates making out and getting told a story of a killer who murdered a bunch of people at the park in the 80s. The movie for its short running time takes a while to set up things but there is a huge gory payoff as a mysterious killer rigs up something in one of the water slides! The horror movie isn’t horrible but feels like there isn’t much rewatchablity to it as I give this horror feature 2 stars.

The Mask (Blu-ray) – A wild 1961 film has Dr. Allan Barnes trying to help a patient named Michael from going completely insane. Up until recently Michael was well respected and working at the local museum but has become consumed with a tribal/ritual mask of sorts that has Michael believing he is now cursed. After Michael’s last appointment he rushes out of the office to go home to commit suicide but before he does he mails the mask to the good doctor challenging him to see the nightmares. Dr. Barnes curious about the mask puts it for research in what driven a person to the brink and becomes consumed with the death and weird ritual things that happen when putting the mask on. Barnes quickly becomes obsessed with the mask and even convinces his mentor to help him with the experiment of learning what makes this mask unique? A fun bizarre version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde that can be seen in 2-D and 3-D with “Electro-magic sound” in this new restored version. The package also includes a short documentary and other short films that make this a must have for old school film fans as I give it 3 stars.

Killer Party (Blu-ray) – Now that we have fought through the Warner Brother DVD-R Archive crap that went on with this 80s slasher film we meaning a small but crazy fan base get a special edition version of ‘Killer Party’. A horror film from 1986 that is considered second tier slasher to some horror fans but one of my favorites growing up is all about three girls just trying to pledge to a sorority that is interrupted by a demonic presence. This pure 80s horror flick has a lot of fun new interviews that makes us physical media nerds jump for joy to have as I give it 3 stars.

Special Effects (VHS) – After Andrea and her husband Keefe have a fight about going back to Oklahoma, Andrea runs out on her man. Backstory, Andrea left him after having her baby and decided to chase a career in acting, modeling, etc., in New York City. While on the run and picking up a newspaper she finds herself on the doorstep of a famous filmmaker named Neville. Neville has just bombed out of Hollywood and lets in Andrea on whim. One thing leads to another and Neville is murdering her on his bed while filming it. Chris Neville cleans it all up and dumps the body so the husband is blamed. The husband breaks out police custody to visit Neville and this inspires the filmmaker to make a low budget film about realtime murder he committed! Neville gets so involved with the project he bails out the husband, makes the one police officer a technical adviser, and believes this is his way back to Hollywood as everything has to look a certain way as Neville relives the fantasy murder. For me this was a very bizarre Larry Cohen film to watch but glad as hell I did as I give it 3 stars.

Thriller: A Cruel Picture (Blu-ray) – The 1973 film is also widely known as “They Call Her One Eye” and has been inspiration for many filmmakers the past few decades but can’t be duplicated. A woman (Christina Lindberg) who is raped as a young girl is now grown but mute and goes into town quite often for doctor’s appointments. Innocent and naïve she gets in a car when she misses a bus into town and wakes up beaten up, hooked on heroin, and told she will now be a hooker! Not happy with this she takes it out on her first customer and in return she loses an eye and weirdly enough apparently it costs more money to bang a one eyed hooker. Soon she saves her money learns how to race a car, shoot guns, and fight. And that is when this movie just gets downright brutal as hell as she begins gut shooting customers left and right in slow motion with a double barrel shotgun. The movie is absolutely amazing, fucked up, brutal, and not for all movie lovers at the same time. I can see why this film has such rabid fan base especially when your female lead doesn’t say a damn word through the whole film! Thanks to Synapse Films this brutal film or package is going to make physical media fans drool like crazy as they have included an uncut and uncensored HD version with several subtitle and soundtrack options, rare photos and outtakes, alternate fight scene, and rare photos of a fight scene that was ruined by a film lab. If you only have seen the ‘They Call Her One Eye’ version you better be prepared for some of the graphic material in this restored film as his will not be for all audiences. Hell the movie was never made for all audiences but I am sure this package will make a lot of “Best of” lists at the end of the year as I give this 4 out of 4 stars. www.synapse-films.com

The Dungeonmaster (DVD) – Its 1984 and Paul is the IT guy who knows how to fix all computer problems as he is hooked up to his computer “CAL”. One night after a fight with his girlfriend Gwen, Paul and Gwen get sucked into purgatory or hell for Paul to conquer seven challenges in fantasy land in order for the couple to live and go back home. David Allen, John Carl Buechler, Charles Band, and Richard Moll as Satan, evil wizard, whatever you wanna call him… I will always be in to watch this crazy mess! Another fun Empire Pictures project that is just fun to pop in every five years or so and makes a little sense if double feature it with ‘Metalstorm’ that I give 3 stars.

They See You (Blu-ray) – Our story begins with three teenage boys heading into town to check out a unique/oddities shop. There is a spirit board with what looks like Halloween symbols on it that catches their attention but they are told that it isn’t for sale. Mainly the spirit board is not for sale because it’s cursed but this only intrigue the boys as with help from a couple girls they know from school they steal it along with an old book. They all head out the woods to have some fun with it, they all touch the spirit board, say some words from the old book, and it activates. Unleashing a gang of demons, undead creatures on Halloween that just don’t want to consume them but take control of the spirit board and book to stay in this world. Think of a slick independent gory film with a ‘Witchboard’ and ‘Beyond the Gates’ vibe to it. The movie has its flaws but overall Tory Jones and Jonestown Films put together a solid horror film well worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Robo C.H.I.C. (VHS) – First let’s get the alternate titles out of the way: aka Cyber-C.H.I.C. aka Robochic aka Thunder Tronic starring Burt Ward! Anyhow, a wacky doctor puts together a crime fighting fembot (remember kids its 1990). Along the way when the fembot isn’t training we have a mad bomber who is trying to keep the city hostage as he plants bombs everywhere. It is up to the futuristic fembot to find the people who kidnap the mad bomber and stop the bombs from going off in this supposedly intentionally funny film but fails. This movie is a part of a sub-genre that seem to show on “Up All Night” with Rhonda Shear between 1987-1992 or what you could call: The Killer Tomato sequel years? Anyhow give this terrible garbage 0 stars.

Kill-Cam (Blu-ray) – Chris Woods and The Sleaze Box crew reach deep into the sleaze void to pull out a story of Samantha Styles. Ms. Styles (Katie Mckinley) is obsessed with a model Pamela Keaton that makes her drool and want to meet her but Samantha also just happens to be a sex-crazed serial killer with a super shitty past! This slow burn into the dark void of Samantha has her getting advice from a doll, stalking her ex hookup, enjoying her murderous desires until see can come up with a way to meet her obsession. Folks you are in for a rough one here as this is not for the faint of heart but I believe this will find an audience craving more with Katie McKinley’s performance as a sick and horny serial killer. As I say with projects like this: “this isn’t my cup of tea” but I can easily see this project being talked about among independent film fans for the next several years because of its content as I give the film 2 ½ stars just for Katie Mckinley performance standing out in this feature.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Valley of the Rats “A New Odyssey of Violence and Eroticism”

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Vancouver, British Columbia (Monday, March 26th): Vince D’Amato’s (Vampires vs. Zombies) Giallo styled thriller, Valley of the Rats, is set for a late March release. There will be at least three versions of the film, all released on Blu-ray. Within the story of Valley of the Rats, a man is falsely accused of his girlfriend’s murder. He goes in search of his killer, only to uncover an even stranger mystery. This title, shot in Vancouver, B.C. and Turin, Italy, stars: Tristan Risk (American Mary), Momona Komagata (Peelers), Jesse Inocalla and even Lynn Lowry makes a special appearance. Details on this limited release are hosted here.

 

Both Shivers Entertainment and Darkside Releasing will be handling the film’s home entertainment launch. Darkside Releasing and Shivers Entertainment will be offering the standard 2-disc release, an ultra-limited 3-disc set which includes a full-length live performance by Tristan Risk’s ‘Caravan of Creeps’ burlesque troupe (100 units), and exclusive to Shivers Entertainment, the limited 3-disc set that includes the International version (500 units). Darkside’s website will also offer a specially-priced pack that includes the 2-disc Valley of the Rats blu-ray and 2017’s House of VHS Blu-ray/DVD combo. All of these visions of the film will be available on March 27th, to fans of erotic thrillers!

The official, International trailer (very NSFW): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0bo2afUN0I

 

The film’s official synopsis: A young man is accused of his ex-girlfriend’s murder. Before he is formally charged by the police, he sets out on a two-day odyssey to find the real killer: tracking down his leads from the backseat of a rented limousine. This allows him to converse and ponder class, society, life in the city, and to contemplate the dirt that runs in the small nooks and valleys of cosmopolitan life. Mid-way through the film, the style transforms into Brivido Giallo contemporary, wordless operatic imagery of sex and violence.

 

Release Date: March 27th, 2018 (Blu-ray)

 

Director/writer: Vince D’Amato.

 

Cast: Tristan Risk, Momona Komagata, Jesse Inocalla, Lynn Lowry.

 

Shivers Entertainment (with the exclusive International cut): https://www.shiversentertainment.com/

 

Darkside Releasing: https://darksidereleasing.com/store/

JOHN LANDIS’ SCHLOCK UNPEELS ON BLU-RAY IN EXCLUSIVE LIMITED MEDIABOOK EDITION

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New York, NY – March 15, 2018 – Turbine Media Group in association with director John Landis present John Landis’ long out-of-print first feature film, the cult comedy SCHLOCK, in its Blu-ray world premiere in an exclusive dual-format mediabook Blu-ray/DVD worldwide-playable combo set limited to 2000 copies, releasing April 27th, 2018.

A love stronger, and stranger, than King Kong and Fay Wray! The long-slumbering banana monster Schlock wakes up after 20 million years and escapes from his cave, befriending a blind girl who thinks he’s a dog, and causes mass panic in the small town with a shocking bloody massacre setting the scene. Schlock tries to escape but the military is fast approaching…

This low-budget prelude to Landis’ brilliant career which includes ANIMAL HOUSE, THE BLUES BROTHERS, and AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, SCHLOCK is an ingenious monster comedy filled with wild movie references and absurd gags, with the then 22-year-old filmmaker paying respect to some of his favorite films like KING KONG, 2001, THE BLOB, and FRANKENSTEIN. SHLOCK is also the beginning of Landis’ partnership with makeup artist extraordinaire Rick Baker, and early feature from the gifted artist

Now being released for the first time ever in high-definition from Turbine Media Group, this exclusive limited 2000-copy Blu-ray/DVD combo mediabook edition contains the main feature in full HD sourced from an all-new, detailed 4K frame-by-frame restoration on Region Code–Free Blu-ray for worldwide playback, and an NTSC SD 4:3 full-frame open-matte DVD version, just like in the good old days of VHS. The mediabook packaging features original artwork and a bound-in, fully illustrated booklet with rare pictures and new writing on the film in German and English.


INCLUDES THESE SCHLOCKTASTIC SPECIAL FEATURES!

– Exclusive new introduction by creator John Landis
– Exclusive newly shot interview with John Landis (approx. 41 min.)
– Vintage audio commentary by John Landis & Monster Maker Rick Baker (from the 2001 Anchor Bay DVD)
– Trailers from Hell clip: John Landis on SCHLOCK
– Original trailers (theatrical release, re-release, “Banana Monster” title, the original German 35mm trailer, and a new transfer of the German version)
– Original 1970s radio spots
– Bilingual edition: menus and booklet in English and German

Specs:
Running time: approx. 79 minutes / Color
Audio: English & German – DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 (mono)
Video: Blu-ray: 1.78:1 (1080p, 23.976fps)
DVD: 4:3 (720x480p, 29,97 fps)
Subtitles: English and German
Region code: Blu-ray (ABC Region Free) and NTSC DVD (Code 0)
Schlock – Blu-ray Edition
https://youtu.be/g9kCNTM0Y84

Schlock – Movie Trailer
https://youtu.be/r1umFIeoSOo

Available for worldwide shipping through rakete-shop: https://tinyurl.com/johnlandisschlock

Gross Movie Reviews #431

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Gross Movie Reviews #431

 

Unearthed & Untold: The Path to Pet Sematary (Blu-ray) – These days it seems a lot of documentaries are being made about horror films and such. Some deserve it? ‘Pet Sematary’ deserved it for sure for its impact on the horror genre. Honestly horror movie fans it was one of the better book to film adaptions of King’s. The Stephen King story that was brought to life by director Mary Lambert, she had a long journey and interesting one. The film came at the end of the “Slasher Era” and no studio wanted it to be made mainly because of the kid death in the story/script/movie. But with a strike looming at the time Mary Lambert and others took advantage of this and the rest was film history. The documentary takes a very in-depth look how it got from book to film but also how it’s one of King’s darkest books that scared him when he first wrote it. The filmmakers: John Campopiano and Justin White were just normal horror movie fans that felt they should do a documentary for the popular horror film. For several years the two tracked down everyone that had anything to do with the film. Plus there is loads of interviews with all the cast members involved sharing their stories of on and off set. I believe it was crucial having Mako Hughes talk about his experience and what he actually remembers of the project to make this the perfect documentary for ‘Pet Sematary’ fans. John and Justin went to great lengths to get all kinds of goodies any horror fan to enjoy this great documentary. The documentary is absolutely wonderful as I give it 4 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

 

Suspiria (Blu-ray) – A wild ride of a film about a young lady that goes to a prestigious dance academy. Once there strange happenings go down and the young lady begins to uncover secrets no one is meant to know. Meanwhile people begin disappearing and die in very beautiful but gruesome ways. You got witches, gore, and ARGENTO, a terrific combo. We all know the story and have seen the film countless times. But this new 2-disc Blu-ray is the one that had folks talking on the festival circuit and for good reason. This is the new 4K restoration of the original cut of Suspiria. Seriously horror fans this film should be used for the prime reason to buy a 4K television. The colors and its sharpness of how the film was meant to be seen are perfect. You don’t have to be the biggest Argento fan in order to want to have this new Blu-ray set. This version of Suspiria is stunning and makes you want all horror movies to look like this. Plus there are enough extras for you to just call off work and spend the day in ‘Suspiria-land’. From artwork, to the story of the colors in the film and the reason, to the interviews your mind will be blown away. I always enjoyed the film but was never an uber-fan of it but this two-disc set just made Suspiria that much better experience in my eyes as I give this 4 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com of course.

 

 

Path of Blood (Blu-Ray) – An animated feature done like the “South Park” pilot episode set in Japan 1614. With the war over samurai are displaced or just wandering the country and they are called “Ronin”. The movie centers on one samurai who doesn’t so much seeks to be paid for his services as much as he is curious about the world. He hears a story about a man who may be a demon or undead that is looking for an army. But many men have taken this adventure and have not come back to tell the tale of it. So Kazuo takes the dangerous road and risks life and limb to satisfy his curiosity of the stories of the evil in the mountains. Eric Power did amazing job with this movie and fans of animated stuff will be excited to get their hands on this package! I give the movie 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

Street Team Massacre (DVD) – Oh I had no clue what I was getting into but glad I watched this flick. This movie has moved into my great finds that include stuff like “Death Metal Zombies”, “Woodchipper Massacre”, “Holy Shit… Zombies”. But anyhow this 2007 independent film begins in a room full of people in lab coats in 1999. They have a college aged test subject who is there to test their energy drink and give them feedback for twenty bucks. He drinks a Mango energy drink and soon begins attacking all in the room. Several years go by and we are in the Eco-Elixir conference room present day where a new sales/street team person is going to be introduced to his co-workers. Excited for the struggling juice company he is excited to get out on the street until he and his team have a run-in with the Jock Juice crew on the beach. The Jock Juice team always seems to be one step ahead of the Eco-Elixir team until new guy comes up with an idea to go check out this unknown music jamboree in the mountains. Problem is there are only six or seven rednecks and the jamboree was only five minutes long. But unbeknownst to the team members their Eco-Elixir has been switched with the “Mango” test drink from years ago that causes changes in people and make them attack others. Now, you have biting rednecks with a uni-brow trying to kill both energy drink teams. Its cheesy, stupid, has Lloyd Kaufman looking at a ‘Gorillas in the Piss’ magazine, Roddy Piper selling energy drink out of his driveway, and George Hardy as I am all in as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

VHS Massacre (DVD) – A great documentary about a couple podcast dudes in the New York area who take upon themselves to discuss the decline of physical media. They started in 2012 with the film and completed sometime in 2014 which helps as they show video stores galore closing down as they discuss the subject with the likes of Lloyd Kaufman, Debbie Rochon, and Joe Bob Briggs. You get to see some old school VHS and Beta commercials along with the DVD infomercial that invaded VHS in the mid-90s. The documentary takes a more serious tone discussing the pros and cons of where movies are going and what it means for certain filmmakers and companies. I give the documentary 4 stars, great stuff guys.

 

Fangs (DVD) – This 1974 movie might not be known for its “Fangs” title as much as it being called “Snakes” when hitting the VHS back in the day. But this little weirdo film is about Mr. Snakey Bender who keeps several different snakes as pets and buys mice off the kids every Wednesday to feed the snakes. Besides the cute school teacher having a bizarre relationship with the snakes and Mr. Bender, the preacher is fucking with his business. Soon the little Texas town believes old Snakey should just drive his clunker to the farm and never come back to town. But Snakey has a different thought as he kidnaps those who wronged him and lets the snakes do all the work for him. In the end this makes him happy. The 70s film is weird and has enough strange shit that it will make you want to watch it again as I give it 3 stars.

 

Another Wolfcop (Theater) – Lowell Dean finally gives me the sequel not only I wanted but all Wolfcop fans. Lou is still on the prowl but these days during a full moon Sheriff Tina believes it would be better that Lou is locked up. Busy drinking and having his usually ‘Liquor and Donuts’ baker dozen as they are the official sponsor of Wolfcop. Of course Lou doesn’t listen and gets out and after an incident; Tina has to take lip from the mayor (Kevin Smith) about a Wolfcop running around town.  After a night of the usual chaos and Lou taking a truck back because its evidence he finds his dead friend or reborn friend/shape shifter Willie in a present. So the old tag team is back, maybe as Wolfcop has come against a new robotic foe that was built by a scientist controlled by Sidney Swallows. Swallows plans on getting the local folk drunk on his new cheap beer ‘Chicken Milk Stout’ then killing them at the hockey game. Honestly I am not making this up as Willie now has a mutant dick that smokes weed with him. Willie also has a werewolf sister who bangs Lou and has six tits! And apparently snorting moon rock is like steroids for werewolves. This beautiful mess is all mashed together in a 82 minute sequel that is just as much fun as the original. See it now as I give it 4 stars.

 

Incredible Shrinking Woman (DVD) – Lily Tomlin is Pat Kramer a loving wife who does everything for the kids while the husband works away on selling products. Pat is exposed to the right mixture of chemicals and suddenly begins to shrink. Her family is suffering because they are unsure what is going to happen to her until one day they believe she is dead after falling into the garbage disposal. But it just so happens a group of people are hell bent on using her for tests so they can shrink everyone down in the world and takes it over. With the help of a gorilla Pat is able to escape and let her family know she didn’t die just yet as she becomes a national story. A very hilarious take on the 50s film “Incredible Shrinking Man”. I give it 3 stars.

Midnight Movie Massacre (DVD) – The film began in 1984, supposedly finished in 1986, and wasn’t released until 1988 and also known as “Attack from Mars”. Cannot see this film being that bad? Read a few articles about the film supposed to be released in 1986 but there was no explanation to why not? Anyway the movie takes place in 1956 where several people go to the theater to go watch a flick called, “Space Patrol”. Meanwhile, a real Martian lands from Mars to slowly murder people in the theater until the patrons eventually fight back and the Martian is eaten by a fat woman. I give this real B-movie 2 stars for the mere reason I laughed several times watching this flick.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

Oh it’s real and it’s happening… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

 

Gross Movie Reviews #408

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Gross Movie Reviews #408

 

Madman (Blu-ray) – An amazing restoration of a cult-slasher film from the early 80s that includes: interviews, commentary, and other fun tidbits that you may have never known about the flick. A group of people are out in the woods telling stories of a legend called “Madman Mars”. The group scares each other as they near the old house that supposedly Madman Mars went nuts and killed his family. One of the younger persons of the group screams for the legend to come and get them after being warned to not. They pack up and head back to the cabin as it’s the end of the season and they will be going back to the city in the morning. But Madman Mars heard the kid and now is on the prowl to track down the group and slaughter the poor folks. Wonderful kill scenes, a good amount of blood and guts, and a disgusting looking yet cool killer (Madman) makes this slasher a must have and makes you question why there isn’t several sequels? This low budget feature follows the ‘Friday the 13th’ formula and now you know where the people behind ‘Slaughterhouse’ got the idea for their killer and poster art? A must own for horror movie collectors as I give it 3 stars.

 

Nightmare in a Damaged Brain (DVD) – A horror film that may or may not have had Tom Savini doing the effects for this gorefest of a slasher film? This has been always debated over and from what information I could track down on Savini he didn’t have anything to do with the project that is best known for a woman being decapitated by a kid. There is a guy who is a schizophrenic and has been tested on with a new drug. He believes he is cured and goes out on the town only to find himself losing his mind and begins to kill again while his doctors have lost track of him. He eventually makes his way back home but first he has several flashbacks of his murderous childhood and has several new victims. The film is on the sleazy side but also is uneven and can be dull at times. I give this odd sleazy flick 2 stars.

The Guardians (DVD) – A Russian version of ‘The Avengers’ that features a man that turns into a bear, has a machine gun and a woman on his back killing evil persons while running through Moscow! Yep, I am sold and do not need to say anymore but I will. After the Russians entered the war in 1940 scientists were doing secret genetic research. After several failed experiments over the years a scientist goes rogue and starts to use people to further his experiments. When the military tries to intervene the scientist gets caught in a chemical explosion and becomes a part of his own experiment only to disappear until now. During a high tech military exercise this monster reappears and takes control of all machines killing all involved and disappears. So the Russian military forms a team of superheroes Nick Fury style: Ler – a man who can move rocks and things and uses them as weapons or a suit. Khan – a guy who has swords and can move like the wind. Kseniya – who is able to regulate her body temperature? And my favorite because he looks like a character from the Sega game “Altered Beast” Arsus (I believe that is how it’s spelled) – is a man who turns into a thing with a bear head and when he is really pissed off turns into a giant grizzly bear! They must take down the former scientist Kuratov now evil monster mastermind who also made them into what they are. Kuratov wants to take over Moscow then the world and make more troops like him. His goal in accomplishing this is using an old Reagan satellite in space left over from the “Star Wars program”. First time around The Guardians is defeated quickly but they reset things and prepare differently to become a team and defeat this evil Kuratov before it’s too late. The movie is a brilliant comic book-style popcorn flick that fits right in with the Marvel and DC universes! I absolutely loved this exciting flick as I give it 4 stars. Come one for the love of Rutger Hauer you have a bear with a machine gun you know this is gonna make my “Best movies of 2017 list”.

 

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (DVD) – So I have jumped head first into this weird world of David Lynch and cult TV show and movie. This movie for the most part is the story about the homecoming queen Laura Palmer before her murder. Almost two hours of drug use, weird shit going on, sex, two FBI agents disappearing, and eventually violence. Don’t understand it but do give it credit for being weird and interesting as I give 2 ½ stars.

 

Space Rage (YouTube/VHS) – A young pony tail wearing Michael Pare is Grange where in a futuristic society he gets caught by authorities after a bank robbery. He is banished to a penial colony on another planet where the only escape is a supply ship that lands once in a great while. So of course once Grange arrives he begins kicking ass in prison and plans his escape. Once escaped and on the run there is an old dude trying to track Grange and the inmates down before Grange blows up the landing site and killing everyone on the incoming shuttle. Lots of cool car stunts and Pare shooting everyone on screen are the highlights of this unknown sci-fi/action gem as I give it 3 stars.

 

Starslammer: The Escape (YouTube/VHS) – Oh folks this is a lovely Fred Olen Ray mid-80s treat that is a B-movie combo of ‘The Ice Pirates’ and ‘Reform School Girls’ on a prison ship. Actually the film was titled “Prison Ship” in some countries and also includes a John Carradine cameo. The girls/prisoners have had enough of abuse on the ship and now are about to become part of some unwanted experiments. So with help from the underground they have a plan to escape. Fred Olen Ray madness is always good for 2 ½ stars.

Vice Squad (YouTube/VHS) – The movie represents a fictional account of what Hollywood police have to put up with in 1982 as prostitution was rampant. We are quickly introduced to Wings Hauser’s character Ramrod and his awesome Ford Bronco that now makes my “list of great movie vehicles”. Ramrod tracks down Nina Blackwood from MTV as she owes Ramrod money and believes her pimp loves her. Ramrod kills her but doesn’t know she contacted her best friend Princess and told her all about Ramrod. After some coaxing by local authorities Princess brings down Ramrod. But once in custody he breaks out of a moving police car and plans on finding and paying Princess a visit. A slightly sleazy Wings Hauser and Hollywood Blvd along with prostitution as the backdrop makes a wonderful early 80s flick worth the rewatch as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Harbinger Down (DVD) – A film written and directed by Alec Gillis with very cool practical creature effects starring Lance Henriksen as a captain of crab fishing boat out in the Bering Sea. He picks up some whale researchers that include his daughter that are there to measure climate change. One night the crab guys pick up something unusual after it was spotted by the researchers. Encased in ice they debate over whose find it is? But after some melting they notice the ball of ice is old wreckage with a pilot inside. But it’s too late something has escaped onto the boat and trying to take over all humans. Trying to figure out if its alien or not they figure out it was a decade’s old experiment that the Russians may have let the ship find it and see how the creature reacts? Plain old fashion creature feature with lots of cool creations and the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen taking charge trying to bring this ever changing thing down! A very solid and entertaining sci-fi/horror flick with more than enough cool creatures that deserves 3 stars.

 

FDR: American Bad Ass (DVD) – This film is an accurate portrayal of FDR played by Barry Bostwick our wheelchair bound president who led the US against the Nazis! In the early 30s FDR is bitten by a werewolf that gives him polio. FDR loses use of his legs but doesn’t let that get in the way of him going from governor to President of the United States. The film follows him from the campaign trail to where FDR gears up and fights Nazi werewolves in order to keep them off of US soil! To just explain it does not do the film justice as also the great cast makes this hilarious flick work. The great cast consists: Ray Wise, Barry Bostwick, Robin Sydney (Full Moon fanatics know her well), Kevin Sorbo as Lincoln, Lin Shaye, and Paul Ben-Victor as Werewolf Hitler. So you need to refresh your history this is the first place to start with this masterpiece of accurate history as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Monolith (DVD) – Bill Paxton and Lindsay Frost are two detectives that accidentally get involved with a highly secretive government project that consists of an alien force/parasite that has awakened. This parasite is able to jump from human body to another trying to get to its ship to leave. The government or John Hurt is willing to risk the world as this has been his life to find answers from this force. Throw in a little bit of Louis Gossett Jr. and you have a fine sci-fi feature that was mostly overlooked in the early 90s as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Void (DVD) – An extremely vague but interesting horror film that has some of the best movie creatures since ‘The Thing’? A man is picked up along a dark road and brought into a closing hospital by a small town police officer. Things only get stranger when the man does not wanna quit babbling and the police officer is attacked by a person in a white sheet outside. Once the doctor and nurses stop the bleeding on the officer more of these people in white sheets show up. Meanwhile another nurse goes nuts, rips her face off and stabs a patient in his eye killing him and that’s when it gets even weirder??? Two guys show up bitching about a massacre, a huge disgusting creature steals the state trooper and begins feeding on him, and apparently the good doctor of the hospital is the next Pinhead!? Fun and gruesomely entertaining film! My only drawback with the film is you must pay attention to pick up on some of the happenings because I would have liked a little more explanation. But this film is easily the new horror generation’s ‘Hellraiser’? I give this amazing creature filled film 3 ½ stars and most likely be somewhere on my “Best of 2017 movie list”.

 

The Shallows (DVD) – Blake Lively is a young woman who is at a crossroads in her life and just wants to visit a place her mother told her about. So she surfs and loses herself until the last surf out she finds a large dead whale and the huge ass shark that happens to be hanging out there. Injured and panicking she must act fast to survive and gets on a rock during low tide. Trapped she must survive the night and figure things out as the shark circles. The next day after a few attempts people are killed by the shark trying to save her so she either dies on the rock or figures out how to escape? The film has that fun ‘Jaws’ feel, the film is shot really well, and Blake Lively puts on a great performance. Add this flick to your list of great shark films to watch every summer as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Dead 7 (DVD) – Asylum Entertainment does it again as they do their own ‘Magnificent Seven’ but with zombies. The apocalypse has happened and zombies or in this case “copperheads” have taken over. Years have passed and now some people like the simpler way of living (Old west) and some like Apocalypta gather an army of undead to overrun the small thriving towns to take their supplies. A small town deputy goes on the search for several individuals to be crazy enough to go up the mountain and kill Apocalypta and her army of undead. Its cheesy and somewhat watchable but remember I have watched much worse as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Nightforce (DVD) – Rich kids don’t have much to do until their friend Christy is kidnapped by drug dealing terrorists from Central America. All because Christy’s father Senator Hanson has declared war on the drug dealing terrorists. So they want a ransom and want him to back down from his new policy. Linda Blair and friends gather weapons and make their way to Central America where they meet up with a war vet (Richard Lynch) and his pet monkey to take down the man and his troops who kidnapped their friend. Hilarious and over the top violence rules in this movie as Linda Blair is fucking people up in order to help her friend escape. If you pay attention closely you also get to see the great actress Kathleen Kinmont in a bar scene. I give 3 stars just because I miss this type of entertaining films where random 80s movies were just made never questioned…

 

Outlaw Force (VHS) – So Billy Ray is a stunt show cowboy who also sings. But when his wife is killed and daughter is kidnapped by some punks rolling through town he becomes an outlaw! Paul Smith and Frank Stallone are two officers of the law trying to track down Billy Ray’s daughter but when they are not getting the job done Billy Ray takes the law into his own hands. One by one he shoots, stabs, and hangs his way through the punks. And when he isn’t doing that he is singing his song “This Honkey is gonna Honkeytonk Tonight”. Another random fun B-movie from 1989 that is most likely get lost when a new movie format comes out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #371

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Gross Movie Reviews #371

 

By Tim Gross

 

Passed the Door of Darkness (DVD) – Two detectives that are having trouble catching a serial killer that is always one step ahead. The older detective finds out he has a brain tumor and is blacking out. Eventually he comes to the realization that the killer is him. The film fails to try and hide who is the killer from the start and just about put me to sleep trying finish the film as I give it a ½ star.

 

Wer (DVD) – The film begins with a family hiking it out in the middle of rural France only to capture their vicious animal attack that killed the husband and kid and scarred the wife, Claire Porter. Immediately, local authorities bring in a very large hairy man that doesn’t talk much and lived with his mother nearby the attack. This gets the attention of an American Human Rights Lawyer, Kathrine, who has a practice there and wants to represent the very large hairy man, Talan. The local authorities disregard that only an animal could do the damage it did and this man Talan has a rare disease that affects his joints, bones, etc. So it seems like a slam dunk for the lawyer to get Talan off from this brutal murder. But tests keep coming up inconclusive; the police know more than they are saying and Kathrine and friends dig deeper into Talan and his family and find a history like no other. That’s when the movie gets even more interesting when Talan escapes and begins a city wide murder spree! A werewolf flick with a whole different spin on the werewolf legend in this American/French production that was shot in Romania. On top of that I loved the creature and blood effects in this entertaining and refreshing spin on the werewolf genre. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Evil Bong 420 (DVD) – Who says, “You can go to the well too many times”? Apparently Charles Band ignores that phrase with this entry into the “Evil Bong” series. The film is a sequel of sorts to “Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong”, which the movie came inside a cereal box where the cereal tasted like a generic ‘Cookie Crisp’ in case you were not paying attention? Anyhow Sonny Davis’s character manages to break out of Eebee’s weed fog inside the bong reality and open up a topless bowling alley. Once, Charles Band makes sure all of the characters from both franchises made their appearances exception of Tommy Chong. Gingerdead Man makes his escape and Eebee is pissed as she comes back to take her revenge in capturing all who escaped. Thus setting up another sequel… I give it 1 star just for the mere reason I am still a fan of Charles Band, Sonny Davis, Robin Sydney, and David Decoteau made an appearance! Plus it doesn’t help the film come off as one long ad for Full Moon merch. Sorry Mr. Band you have a few websites for that.

 

Cyborg Cop III (DVD) – The film was originally called “Terminal Impact”. But honestly who is paying attention to that except for Jon Cross, maybe Ed Demko’s dad, and me? So Delta Tech builds cyborgs while a local news reporter is investigating this cyborg thing. She finds out about something she shouldn’t have and Delta Tech sends cyborgs after her. Lucky for her two lucky go happy bounty hunters happen to drive by and help her out. I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

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Insane (Vimeo/DVD) – One of my favorite hard working independent filmmakers Massimilano Cerchi is back with his latest release, “Insane”. The film is about a hot young couple buy their dream home off the internet and pictures don’t do it justice. But of course the weird neighbor just happens to stroll by and tell the young couple they are pretty much “doomed” if they stay because of the history of the home. Michael’s girlfriend Sarah is completely pissed off and wants to know why the realtor didn’t tell them this before they bought it. Michael of course believes it isn’t a big deal until the weird neighbor begins telling Michael of the stories about the murders that happened there. Michael becomes obsessed and begins filming everything and documenting anything to find evidence of something possibly supernatural in his new home. But just like the weirdo neighbor says, “You might not like what you find?” The evil clown is a nice touch but Cerchi’s approach of stripping down the bloated paranormal genre with few characters, not a ton of dialogue, and allowing the scenes tell the story make this feature refreshing and fun. I’m still not a big paranormal film fan but it’s nice to see there are still some entertaining and creepy ideas from great filmmakers out there! I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars as you can find out more about the flick and Mr. Cerchi at: https://www.facebook.com/massimiliano.cerchi?fref=ts&ref=br_tf .

 

The Last Witch Hunter (DVD) – From the beginning this Vin Diesel flick could have been the next great horror film but internet geeks and word of mouth never allowed this movie to have a chance. Now saying that I am not saying this is one of the best movies out there I just believe anymore these days most movies don’t survive the harsh criticism of it before it is ever released. As I try to do if the movie exists I will give it a chance and that is what I did here. Vin Diesel plays a witch hunter who is not one by choice but becomes one after his family is murdered several hundreds of years ago and is guided by a man/priest given to him by the church. Michael Caine plays the latest who believes it is time to retire but wants to give Diesel’s character the full story of what the church is hiding. But he is killed, maybe? And Elijah Wood steps in to help or fuck shit up just to bring the original witch queen back from the dead. I wanted this movie to be so bad that I enjoyed it because of what I heard, example “Cursed” anyone? But it wasn’t… It’s not great but like I said, “it exists”. Maybe it would have been better without Vin Diesel as the ‘Last Witch Hunter’ and should have been a Rutger Hauer or Jeffery Combs? Who knows? But the point is at least watch the movie then decide if it’s as bad as a lot of people believe because I don’t as I give it 2 stars. This film just suffers from ‘never having a chance once thought went to paper’.

 

Appleseed: Alpha (DVD) – Another fun CG-animated sci-fi feature about a cyborg and his female partner just trying to make it in the wasteland and maybe save the world. The two are just trying to repay their debt to a shady guy who rules New York City. So when they go out the outskirts of the city to remove some unwanted cyborgs, they stumble across another cyborg and a girl who are traveling to complete a secret mission. The two unlikely couples decide to travel together but now have evil cyborgs and the shady dude from New York City trying to stop them from accomplishing their mission. These types of movies are fun stuff: “Resident Evil”, “Bio-Hunter”, etc. This is geeky, fun flick for someone like myself as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

John Wick (DVD) – Keenau Reeves jumps feet first into the action genre about a man who just lost his wife and has a dog and a bad ass Ford Mustang. He gets the shit kicked out of him, his dog gets killed, and his classic car stolen by some dumb ass mob kid. When word gets around whose car the kid stole people begin to panic as John Wick used to be a hitman that was flawless and stopped at nothing to kill all he was suppose too. From there the bullets fly and John Wick kicks ass. Even though I enjoyed the film two things bothered me as I watched it and maybe I am just a product of the 80s (Rutger Hauer, Arnold, Sly, Dolph, even a Jason Statham) but it seemed like Keenau just didn’t fit the role. Also I felt they built up the John Wick character a lot and he is easily captured and beaten up! I give the film 3 stars.

The Survviors

The Survivors (The Hack Collection Volume One) (Blu-ray) – Well the talented independent filmmaker Steve Rudzinski finally granted my wish of doing a sequel to “Slasher Hunter” and did not disappoint at all. According to Steve, “it’s not just a sequel; it is a sequel to everything he has done.” If you have been following Mr. Rudzinski’s films they all have been leading to something or leave you wanting a little more and it all comes to this… Steve puts everything together in this latest project where ‘The Slashers’ are in complete disarray as Frank is in hell and they lack real leadership. Meanwhile, the group just known as “The Killers” is stronger than ever and keeps two steps ahead of the “Survivor Initiative” until now. “The Slasher Hunters” have some new allies (helps if you have seen some of Steve’s past films to understand some of the characters and why they are there) that includes one my favorite’s ‘Wolfster’. Wolfster is a character Steve came up with early in his filmmaking career I easily could have seen as a movie franchise with a new entry every 12 to 16 months? It all comes down to one final fight between The Slasher Initiative and The Killers leader Norm unless Frank finds a way out of hell? We also find out what was Frank’s worst mistake thanks to hell. This project is beyond hilarious, entertaining, and everything I have expected from such a talented filmmaker. Steve has a way of writing very likable characters good and evil that in my opinion makes him successful for the long haul. Steve this is one of the best independent projects I have seen in 2016 and hope to see a lot more as I give the film 4 out of 4 stars. The copy of “The Survivors” I have is part of “The Hack Collection Volume One” Blu-ray two-disc set that has bloopers, trailers, almost all of Steve’s movies and a lot more. Find out more about the film or purchase it at: www.silverspotlightfilms.moonfruit.com and https://www.facebook.com/SilverSpotlightFilms/?fref=ts&ref=br_tf .

 

Land of Doom (VHS/DVD-R) – A lesser known C-grade Wasteland film that looked like it used the leftovers from Fred Williamson’s Eye-talian films. The Peter Maris film has a woman named Harmony trying to make her way across the wasteland just trying to get away from everything only to meet up with a man who is trying to get these ‘raiders’ to believe they can rebuild. Cannibals, killer snakes, horrible motorcycles, and no real ending (Thanks Metalstorm) are the highlights of this film as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Marked (DVD) – Six years after a woman witnessed her father murdered and the murderer die in front of her is doing paranormal research for answers. Answers for what not totally sure but it is just another miserable entry into a bloated genre that is starting to rival the other bloated genre, ‘zombies’. I give it 0 stars.

 

Lost Souls (DVD) – A late 90s flick about John Savage, his wife, and kids just moved into a new home. His daughter happens to be autistic and some murdered children from years ago are trying to communicate through her after they find an old device in storage at the house. Every time the machine is turned on something paranormal happens. After a few twists and turns the family finds out it is the local sheriff with the murdering past. The movie was a TV movie that had a few showings on the now defunct channel UPN before going into obscure cheap paranormal DVD box sets. I give the film 2 stars.

 

Let Us Prey (DVD) – An Irish film about a new constable starting her job for a station in a small town. While walking the beat she witnesses a drunken kid run down a man. She takes the kid in but cannot find the man. Later the mysterious man is found by other officers and brought in to get a statement but refuses to speak but just stare. The mysterious no name man is put into a cell while they call a doctor and that is when things begin to get weird because anyone that is near the mysterious man knows their deep secrets. But what all inside the station don’t know he is there to collect souls before the stroke of midnight and everyone’s past comes back to haunt them in one way or another. The film starts slow but builds into a chaotic, bloody climax worth checking out. In the end, the movie starting off slow makes a lot of sense after watching it as this is one of those lesser known recent horror movies worth seeking out as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Gates of Hell 2: Dead Awakening (DVD) – Literally a sequel no one knew about and for good reason. From what I could stay awake for the film is very low budget and set in the early to mid-80s, never mind the dedication to Lucio Fulci. But anyway no zombies and barely demons on-screen that are brought forth by some stupid middle aged men who are also looking for a woman who has a medallion that is supposed to help them with conjuring some demons. The film was mostly shot in Fort Worth, Texas in 1986/1987 according to sketchy information I was able to dig up on it. But fuck it, the movie is so bad it shouldn’t exist so let’s stick with “Death Metal Zombies” and “Heavy Metal Massacre” for our fun bad stuff shall we? I give it 0 stars.

 

Indigenous (DVD) – The usual crap about stupid American college kids not listening and going to a waterfall in the middle of a dense jungle of Panama. Bad shit happened there supposedly but they don’t listen and go visit only to become dinner to a Chupacabra. But that’s when the movie gets interesting when a guy uploads his video to his social media and it goes viral within four hours causing a military to search for them and millions to watch on 24/7 news channels for their rescue. I liked the monster/Chupacabra looked like an extra form “The Descent” but I thought the movie was much better and interesting when the film took a serious turn in using social media as part of the storyline. Now, I thought if the movie would have continued that storyline instead of wasting storyline and film of the rich kids partying, bumping uglies, drinking, and repeat before they visit the Chupacabra? Then a lot more horror movie fans would be talking about and seeking out this monster flick. Sometime filmmakers it’s better to color outside the lines than keep coloring inside the lines of the same picture film in, film out. For that I give this movie 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Don’t forget you can come by the vendor table I will be at for a book, shirt, or a movie March 4, 5, 6th, 2016 at Pittsburgh’s Horror Realm Convention (for details: www.horrorrealmcon.com) and Cinema Wasteland April 1, 2, 3rd, 2016 in Strongsville, Ohio (for details: www.cinemawasteland.com) .

Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance to Be Released on Blu-Ray and DVD on January 12th

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Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance will be released on Blu-ray and DVD this Tuesday, ‪January 12, 2016 on Amazon.com.

Los Angeles, January 11, 2016 (Newswire.com) – Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance will be released on Blu-ray and DVD this Tuesday, ‪January 12, 2016 on Amazon.com.

This much anticipated sequel to the legendary cult classic, Samurai Cop (1991), explores the dynamic duo of Detective Frank Washington (Mark Frazier) and Joe Marshall (Mathew Karedas), who are teaming up once again in this action-packed tour de force. This time their mission is to solve a series of assassinations being committed by a secret group of sexy female vigilante killers.

“I’m a big fan of the first film and it’s amazing to work with the original cast as well as the new generation of cast members. I feel really blessed. I hope I did the ensemble justice. It helped to have reverence for the cast and I respected everyone’s work in it.”

The Blu-ray/DVD features two audio commentaries with Mathew Karedas, Mark Frazer and Gregory Hatanaka moderated by Dave Robinson, deleted scenes and behind the scenes footage

Alongside the original cast, the film also stars iconic actors such as Mel Novak (Bruce Lee’s Game of Death, Black Belt Jones, Chuck Norris’ Eye for An Eye), Bai Ling (The Crow, Crank: High Voltage), Tommy Wiseau (The Room), Laurene Landon (Maniac Cop 1 and 2, Airplane II: The Sequel, Hundra), Thomas J. Churchill (Lazarus: Apocalypse, Checkpoint), Joe Estevez (Dexter), Dawna Lee Heising (Pond Scum, Ten Violent Women: Part 2), Gerald Okamura (G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra) , Lisa London (Darling Nikki, Divorce Texas Style), Kayden Kross (Street Smart), Lexi Belle (Sisterhood), Kristine De Bell (Darling Nikki, Meatballs) and Joycelyne Lew (Mad Cowgirl, Ride With the Devil), who were both leads in Jackie Chan’s The Big Brawl and countless others.

This film utilizes 35mm film, which is rare in today’s digital world.  This is a new trend as 35mm and 70mm film are being used in the new James Bond and Quentin Tarantino films. Heising’s scene with Wiseau utilized 35mm film, which was apropos as Hatanaka truly gave homage to the original film while also keeping it fresh and current enough for modern day audiences.

Pre-order it before it sells out at http://www.amazon.com/Samurai-Cop-Deadly-Vengeance-Blu-ray/dp/B014K32G8Q/ref=sr_1_3

 

Sam cop 2

Coming this Tuesday

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COMING THIS MONTH FROM SGL ENTERTAINMENT: On Blu-ray and DVD, The Horror Slasher Thriller INTRUSION Written and Produced by Craig Everett Earl that Stars Katie Stewart, Lee Haycraft and Teresa Lawrence II… Now Available For Pre-Order at Best Buy, FYE and Other Fine Retailers: www.sglmoviestore.com/horror/intrusion

SGL