Gross Movie Reviews #461

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Gross Movie Reviews #461

 

Death House (DVD) – What else can you say except it stars everyone and the story was from Gunnar Hansen. After Operation: Paperclip in 1954 put together a highly secretive hidden compound that houses complete psychos. Using technology to their advantage they study and experiment on these so-called psychos for future research and to see if they can eventually weed them out of the DNA chain. Boone and Novak are two agents that were apparently chosen out of many to not only tour the facility but work closely with doctors. They will not only observe the inmate experiments they will also be a part of them. While this is all going on a kid or something like a kid eats a security officer and places something inside of him. The guard is taken to medical inside and an EMP bomb goes off shutting down everything. This will allow prisoners to come out of their fog and riot. Once it happens Kane Hodder’s character who is a neo-Nazi that cannot die uses this to his advantage to go looking for the ‘Five Evils’. These are gods or people he admires and believes will help him get back out into the real world. The two agents now must stop him and the five evils. The movie wasn’t horrible but not really good either. I enjoyed Tony Todd as usual but the movie to me felt like a lot was either left on the cutting room floor or never filmed at all? I just really believe this film could have been so much more as I give it 2 stars.

Clownado (Vimeo) – I absolutely enjoy Todd Sheets and his projects and when this was announced last year it just made sense. Mr. Sheets writes and directs this twisted tale of a circus clown named Ronnie who runs the show. Ronnie and his old lady Savanna have a huge argument after Savanna is found with another man and she feels wronged by Ronnie. So leave it to Todd Sheets to come up with an idea of where Savanna has Ronnie and his clown cronies cursed! The curse is a tornado that comes from the sky and sucks them up in it. But that isn’t the end of Ronnie and friends as with Savanna on the run the supernatural force known as Clownado searches out Savanna to get their own bit of revenge. In the end it is a fight to the death between Ronnie the clown and his woman Savanna where along the way: we get some clown boobs, a good amount of gore, and my favorite part of the film an Elvis impersonator played by the talented Antwoine Steele! Mr. Sheets you had me at “Clownado”… but I would love to see Elvis vs. the Clownado in the sequel as I give this low budget clownfest 3 out of 4 stars.

 

To Hell and Back: The Kane Hodder Story (On Demand) – Kane Hodder goes through his life from everything to being bullied as a kid to what happened to him being Jason in the “Freddy vs. Jason” film. The biggest thing to take away from this documentary is Kane Hodder is one awesome dude but he finally sets the record straight about his burns. Kane goes into great horrific detail of what actually happen in 1977 and almost destroyed his career and him before it ever got started. Kane gets my respect and you don’t have to be a fan to enjoy this documentary about him as I give it 4 stars.

 

Stranger Things: Season Two (Blu-ray) – There isn’t a whole lot I can say about this that you haven’t heard already. The group moves on a year later after the disappearance of ‘Eleven’ and their friend returning from the alternate dimension. You will enjoy how they not only expand the universe of the kids, but the sheriff, the government how they are continuing the experiments that may take over the town. A really well written and entertaining show that I haven’t been this excited since the “X-files” TV show as I give it 4 stars.

 

Star 80 (DVD) – Based on a true story, Eric Roberts plays the sleazy character Paul Snider who finds a young and beautiful Dorothy Stratten in a Dairy Queen. She eventually becomes a “Playmate of the Year” and Paul gets jealous, murders her then commits suicide. This was based on all the things Paul used Dorothy’s name to get ahead in life while she was just enjoying being a model. Apparently Paul couldn’t take her fame and completely broke down. I give the flick about the dark side of being a celebrity 3 stars.

 

Slenderman (DVD) – Not totally sure why I watched the film based on an internet supernatural story. I believe the true story of the two girls trying to kill their friend for Slenderman was much more interesting than this. A group of teenage girls dare each other to watch the Slenderman video. When they do just like “The Ring” it comes to claim their lives or just haunt them until they take their lives. Anyway I know the film was literally only made for 12 to 16 year olds but how does Slenderman know how to use an iPhone to film his victims? Looking for answers as I give it 1 star.

 

Granny of the Dead (DVD) – A low-budget zombie film from Wales (UK) where grandparents are the cause a zombie epidemic. A shadow hand in a church kills an old lady and she becomes a zombie. Ed and friends are just trying to survive the onslaught of Granny zombies. The film has its funny moments but is mainly for the hardcore zombie fans. If you are just a casual horror fan you may just want to skip this one as I give 2 stars.

 

Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror (Shudder) – A wonderful documentary that takes a look at how and why African-American roles in horror movies have changed so much. Lots of interviews from known actors and actresses that include Ken Foree and Tony Todd. They tackle the whole ‘blackface’ genre of the 30s and 40s to underground horror movies from African-American directors, to how African-Americans completely disappeared during the 50s and 60s in horror movies to Jordan Peele’s “Get Out”. Really cool stuff that was unknown to me about the cinema but makes me enjoy my time talking to Tony Todd about his role as ‘Candyman’ but also as Ben in ‘NOTLD90’. All horror fans should make sure they watch this as I give it 4 stars.

 

Threads (DVD) – Just like the U.S. TV movie “The Day After” that dealt with the threat of nuclear war “Threads” centers itself on a town Sheffield, England and follows a few characters. Instead of the view point of the nuclear bombs hitting the U.S. and Russia this is more of the depressing viewpoint of a place not involved. Where they suffer from the fallout just as much as anyone else if some dumb asses try to hit the red reset button. Another brutal look at what could happen even though the film was portraying what could happen in 1984 and its long term effects. I give the film 4 stars and remember we might now be just as close as we ever been to this happening?

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #460

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Gross Movie Reviews #460

 

Anna and the Apocalypse (On Demand) – This is film is an absolute godsend from Scotland that smartly blends “High School Musical” and zombies in a fun and exciting way. Anna Shepard is going to be graduating soon and unlike her best friend who is going off to college she wants to travel. Of course her father isn’t all to happy and all Anna wants to do is get people out of ‘Thunder Balls’ bowling alley sooner than later. Anna and friends not caring or not paying attention to the rest of the world as a strange virus has struck all the major cities and turning people into zombies. Once a lot of singing about their lives is done in the first 30 minutes of the film the group of friends are faced with the end of the world. The end of the world is bloody and brutal but don’t let this film fool you as certain characters die off when you are not expecting. I absolutely loved the flow of the horror musical and how it is presented. Good chance this will show up my ‘Best of 2019’ as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Car: Road to Revenge (DVD) – Yes folks it is a sequel to the evil classic of the late 70s. But that is where it ends as I may have found the ‘worst movie of 2019’ already! After a district attorney dies on top of his new ‘Lazarus One’ it appears the car comes to life and has his personality. It begins murdering all involved… Boring piece of monkey shit needs to vaporized from any studio catalog or movie fan’s as I give it zero stars. And for the person who thought somewhere this was a good idea do me and all movie lovers a favor and quit your job… NOW!

Hexercise (Blu-ray/DVD) – So you claim you have seen everything? I bet you haven’t as a very talented Matt Cannon did a perfect job of bringing to life this homage to ‘aerobic horror movies’ from the late 80s. In August of 1969 a blood ritual is performed where the aerobics studio stands but it is stopped before completion. Twenty years pass and now there is a workout studio existing where a cute aerobics instructor named Kelly pricks her finger with her name tag. She bleeds on her boom box and floor and like black magic the ritual is back on! With this act Kelly has unleashed a demonic presence that is trying to kill all who work or attend the aerobics studio, including Kelly’s rapey boss. Everything is right about this film: the outfits, what I believe is a Commodore 64, lava lamp, T.V. and even the music makes this short film feel right. The twist on this homage is there is no dialogue as the actions of the characters tell the story. The film is in the same vein as the mid-2000s short film “The Misled Romance of Cannibal Girl and Incest Boy” and to me that is freakin awesome! I got to thank Matt Cannon for giving us horror freaks something we didn’t know we needed as I give this wonderful project 4 out of 4 stars. For more details on the film check out: www.facebook.com/Hexerciseordie .

 

Cold Skin (Shudder) – A way cool weirdo creature feature involving lighthouse keepers in the early 1900s. A young lad arrives to an island to relive a crackpot named Gruener. Gruener refuses to leave and wants to stay no matter what anyone says. But as the first nightfall begins the young lad soon understands Gruener isn’t a crackpot as some weird creatures come from the sea to land. Now homeless the young lad shacks up with Gruener learning secrets about the creatures and Gruener. A weird and twisted creature feature about the two lead characters coping with whether the creatures are there to cause harm or in the end actually live in peace. An amazing story that starts slow but grips you by the privates as it unfolds as I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

The Satanic Rites of Dracula (DVD) – An early funky 70s flick about Dracula where the authorities believe some of the prominent members of the community are part of a secret cult. When they begin investigating and get old Van Helsing they soon understand that Dracula is back and behind everything. But this isn’t Dracula’s old routine of wanting more vamps or some other non-sense. Dracula has scientists, biologists, etc. working on virus that is worse the ‘black plague’ something that would end the world including himself. Interesting plot twist this time around as it involves Van Helsing trying to lure Dracula to his death in some jaggerbushes! Yes they are real and I give this film 2 stars.

 

The Giant Spider Invasion (DVD) – Some strange occurrences have happened in the sky over a small Wisconsin town that has a couple scientists baffled. While they investigate what this event is all about apparently flesh-eating spiders of all sizes begin to invade the town for lunch! The scientists find a mini-black hole on the Kester farm and must act fast to close it or these spiders will grow in numbers. Some incest and some large ass spiders make it worth the watch but you have to fight through some very dull parts of the film as I give it 2 stars.

 

Bullied (DVD/YouTube) – A short film from a brilliant Nick Charles where a girl is bullied. The girl does the right thing and tells an adult about it but when it is ignored the little girl takes things into her own hands. A well said statement short film Mr. Charles as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

 

A Cold Night’s Death (YouTube) – An oddly familiar 1973 TV movie starring Eli Wallach and Robert Culp who play scientists that head to the Tower Mountain Research Center after losing contact with Dr. Vogel. It has been five days since they last heard from him and their research on monkeys is needed for space travel. The two soon find a dead Dr. Vogel and continue his work in order to finish the project in time. But some haunting things begin to happen as the days go by and it has been relayed to them that Dr. Vogel did not die of a heart attack but just mere exposure to the cold in a locked room with no one else. As the two keep fighting amongst themselves the answer is right in front of them but they figure it out to late. A fun flick to watch during a cold winter night as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Road Wars (DVD) – A 2015 post-apocalyptic flick from Asylum Entertainment that starts off wonderful involving a man who shows up in the wasteland with no memory. It is explained the world has gone to shit because of a virus that turns people into vamp-like zombie creatures. The virus acts like rabies of sorts that make them thirst for blood and stay out of the daylight. After the no-name man is taken in by a small group of survivors they make the decision to travel somewhere that a vaccine could be made or least tried. Problem is as I explain it sounds like a fun B-flick but it terribly falls apart as it is all over the place plot wise. Instead of trying to be its own movie it chooses to steal from several post-apocalyptic films and never fully committing to one storyline. Thus causing what could have been a fun B-flick to watch to a dog turd you wish would dry up and wish you never knew it existed as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #459

1

Gross Movie Reviews #459

 

Superstition (DVD) – In 1692, a witch is burned at the stake but before she dies she of course curses all involved and their families. Now in 1982, a family looking for a fresh start moves into a long empty house that has some history of people dying over the years. Never mind an old retired priest allows them to move in knowing the possibility of death and that the swimming pond out back was placed there to keep the evil witch at bay. Which by the way the pond doesn’t work that well. The neighbor warns them of the strange stuff and the weirdo son of course is the suspect the police are looking for. But who cares a crazy buzz saw flies into the chest of another priest who hoped the curse was gone! If you were a person that frequent the video stores in the 80s good chance you seen the VHS box at one point. The film not great but not horrible either as it is a reminder of movies you never heard of and would take a chance on renting them in the 80s. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Superstition 2 (YouTube) – The Italian sequel was released in 1989 and was mostly known under the title “Witch Story”. It has very little to do with the first film other than a witch cursing everyone and a cross that can fend the witch off. A brother and sister take their college friends to an abandoned home they inherited and has some bad history. Even though this film involves a witch it has more of a demon flick tone as demons possess some of the young people and turn them on each other. If there is one reason to watch this it is for the bad ass scene involving a dude in a pond about to get a chainsaw to the skull from his possessed girlfriend! I give the sequel 2 stars but in the end don’t make a whole of sense.

 

Lady Avenger (VHS) – David DeCoteau directs, Michelle Bauer shows up topless at least three times, and William Butler plays the boyfriend of Maggie our “Lady Avenger”. The woman that plays Maggie also goes on about a year or so later to be in Playboy. Anyway Maggie has just got out of the big house to go to her brother’s funeral. Pissed off and wanting answers she breaks away from her protective custody to get to the boatyard to ask questions. After kicking three dudes ass and gets away from them in a fiery car chase she bangs her boyfriend and gets back on the case. As she begins to piece things together of all involved she realizes the people she wants revenge against are much closer to her than she thinks. This of course ups the level of wanting revenge where she goes all Robert “The Exterminator” Ginty with a flamethrower. A fun C-grade action flick that was a direct-to-video back in 1988 as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

 

A Bay of Blood (DVD) – A 1971 Mario Bava film that has many death scenes stolen by the “Friday the 13th” films whether horror fans admit it or not.  Because of an older woman unwilling to sell her beautiful land and we get some fast and furious murders. The movie begins with two murders. One is the older woman who is made to look like a suicide. Then who killed her is then killed by an unknown person and his body is made to disappear so no one can find it. A wonderful film of double crosses with an excellent ending. For one reason or another Bava has never been in my wheelhouse so I am not a fan nor a hater but willing to check out his films when I come across them. I give it 2 ½ stars.

Death Kiss (On Demand) – So are you a fan of Chuck Bronson and the “Death Wish” films then you will enjoy bootleg Bronson in this low budget homage to those films. We meet a DJ played by Daniel Baldwin who just rages against the city police for not doing their job. That maybe a vigilante is needed? In comes bootleg Chuck Bronson who doesn’t use many words but has many uses for hand guns to bring down criminals. He steals the money from the criminals he brings down and hands it off to a single mother of a little girl in a wheelchair. Thinking she is charity and needs to pay bootleg Chuck backed she tries her best to find out more about him. But bootleg Bronson has his reasons and keeps them at arm’s length. The movie is absolutely a lot of nostalgia and fun. The movie isn’t perfect but a wonderful gift for us Bronson fans to fill the void as I give this flick 3 stars.

 

The Horseman (On Demand) – A hidden low budget gem from Australia about a 44-year old father who has just lost his daughter under suspicious circumstances. The father is sent a porn video that stars his daughter who was used by four men and was under the influence of heavy drugs. After seeing this it sends the man into a primal rage to seek out all involved, torture them horribly, and end their lives for what they did to his daughter. As he travels on the highway on his quest he picks up a hitchhiking teenager named Alice. Alice and the man become friends on the road but she knows nothing of his quest for revenge. The story is gritty, screwed up, and this dude has a thing about fucking up people’s dicks! This is literally one bad ass air pump to the penis as I give it 3 ½ stars and yes the father uses a tire pump!

 

Halloween: The Panhandle Massacre (YouTube) – A not-for-profit fan film written and directed by Dean Thomas stars David Dietz as Dr. Loomis’ grandson who oversees Michael Myers. Myers has broken out again and is loose near the Panhandle Trail in Pittsburgh back on his murder spree. Authorities have no clue what to do but Dr. Loomis is there to help guide detectives in the capture or killing of Myers to stop the unstoppable killer again. Well-acted and well produced music for the fan made film makes it one of the better “Halloween” fan made features I have seen over the years as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Babes in Psycho Land (DVD) – Two of my favorite filmmakers are back as the feature is directed by the intelligent David Silvio and produced and written by his equally talented wife Diana Silvio. The film is a simple story about Mary trying to reopen her home for foster kids and Andy trying to deal with his bizarre issues. Apparently some time ago Andy’s twin Alex and a girl named Jenny that Andy had a crush on were killed. So anytime Andy comes in contact with a female like Officer Piper Paisley, he believes it is Jenny and swears he won’t hurt her. But it always ends horribly wrong and as Officer Paisley gets pulled into this bizarre world of Mary, Andy, and the foster home she begins to enjoy it too much. Andy finding females again Mary, head of the house is not at all happy but Mary has her own bizarre issues as she is told she may not reopen. The movie rides the edge of sanity really well as it brings you into a bizarre world of you are not sure who the actual victim is and gives you that wonderful uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Kiss of Death Productions once again makes a film that cannot be classified but is must-see independent film that is a cut above most. The whole cast plays their roles perfectly including those of Jack and Cassandra at the end of the film. The Silvios don’t make films for everyone but they do make films for people who are looking for something different and interesting every time out. I give this cringe-worthy movie 3 ½ out 4 stars.

 

Warrior of the Lost World (VHS) – Robert Ginty is a man who rides his super cycle through the Wasteland that might be the only hope for what’s left of mankind. As he rides he is chased by a brutal police force of the ‘Omega’ where he is forced to drive into a wall of rock. Lucky for ‘the rider’ aka Robert Ginty he is pure or at least according to Fred Williamson and ‘the elders’. He has been chosen to help infiltrate the ‘omega’ and help a man escape who is being tortured by the leader Donald freakin Pleasence! Sounds fun, has a great cast, a talking motorcycle, but somehow doesn’t translate into cinema gold? David Worth who is also known for giving us “Shark Attack 2 & 3”, “Kickboxer”, and “Hazard Jack” didn’t seem to have much to work with in Italy but did his best. I give this flick 2 stars as the cast outshines the hokey film.

 

The Park is Mine (YouTube) – Totally forgot how good this film is starring Tommy Lee Jones as a Vietnam vet Mitch who has lost a friend recently. The friend’s dying wish is for Mitch to use his plan to take over Central Park for a few days till Veteran’s Day. His hope is people will take notice and appreciate what these vets did and stop being mistreated. So Mitch goes ahead with the plan unsure if it would work but it does. He asks the commissioner to give him 72 hours to keep the park empty. That is all well and good until the deputy mayor gets involved and things begin to get messy. All the deputy mayor wants is Mitch to die and go away especially when he sends in two mercs to take him down. But meanwhile a reporter with a camera gets in the park and gets to videotape what Mitch is trying to do. I give this film 3 ½ stars and its message of how Vietnam vets were forgotten and mistreated is still relevant today.

 

The House That Would Not Die (DVD/YouTube) – A 1970 TV movie where Ruth and Sara inherit a home that was built in the late 1700s. Apparently Ruth’s cousin took a liking to Ruth when she was young and left the house to her. But the old Campbell house has a haunting history and strange things begin to happen to Sara after a fun séance is done and a spirit enters Sara. The problem is restless spirits live beyond a fake wall in the basement that seeks answers for their peaceful death slumber. A very PG-rated paranormal film is the best thing I can say about the old TV movie as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #458

0

Gross Movie Reviews #458

 

The Happytime Murders (On Demand) – In a world where puppets and humans exist together a private eye who happens to be a puppet and a former cop gets a case from a sexy young lady puppet. The case isn’t open and shut as he likes as someone is killing all the puppets involved with a very popular kids show from the 90s. The private eye finds himself soon teamed up with his ex-partner, a human trying to solve the mystery of who is the killer? Lots of adult humor, the puppets looked great, and a cool buddy cop flick of sorts. This wasn’t as much as “Meet the Feebles” as I thought it would be so good for them. I didn’t love it and I didn’t hate it but worth at least a watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Upgrade (On Demand) – This should have been the “Robocop” remake! A mechanic named Grey rebuilds a classic Trans-Am in the near future for a super-rich computer whiz. After Grey and his wife begin driving home from dropping the car off they are in a bad car accident and his wife is killed by some thugs. Grey is paralyzed, but is given the chance to try an experimental computer chip that should restore all feeling back to his limbs and help him move again. Grey agrees and has implanted into his spine and STEM the computer chip almost works immediately. But Stem also thinks and talks for itself and decides to start talking Grey and help him find his wife’s killers. Grey unsure at first slowly allows STEM to show him he is quicker, smarter, better now. Grey uses his paralyzed status to track down all involved without being detected as a suspect. Once Grey goes down this wormhole with STEM there is very cool twists in the plot that make the movie a must rewatch several times. Plus I believe the plot hits on a nerve of this not too distant future could be very real sooner than we think? This action flick is absolutely amazing as I give it 4 stars.

 

Hotel Artemis (On Demand) – A weirdo flick set in the not so distant future of 2028 where Jodie Foster is a manager/doctor to a hotel or safe house for criminals. Criminals pay big bucks for these certain safe houses all over the world if by some chance they are injured in some way. If you do not have a membership you are thrown out on your ass. Foster’s character is a shut-in who has lots of anxiety and hasn’t the outside world in a couple decades. But it all goes to shit when the big boss comes to be fixed up and there is an assassin there inside the hotel to take him out. This flick is one of those check your brain at the door and just enjoy the entertainment. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

You Might be the Killer (DVD) – This is one those slasher flicks that doesn’t overthink the plot and just has a lot of fun with what it is. Sam is a good dude who once a year takes time away from his business and goes off the grid for a weekend. He goes to a camp with a bunch of friends and just has wholesome camp fun. But a big problem arises when he is calling his best friend Chuck (Alyson Hannigan) because he believes a psycho killer has killed all the campers and now is stalking him? They go through all the movie clichés until Sam remembers at some point the story about a cursed mask being at a dead tree was actually real and he put the mask on. When he has the mask on he is an unstoppable killer who slaughters his friends in many brutal ways. When the mask is off he doesn’t recall anything and believes he is being stalked also. I loved watching this bloody flick that never took itself serious and delivered the goods on just being a fun horror flick to watch as I give it 3 stars.

Commando Ninja (YouTube) – This absolute 4 star gem is from the mind Ben Combes. Ben decided to kickstart his love letter of a movie to 80s action movie genre. This film combines at least 20 different action film ideas into one movie. The film begins with a flashback of 1968 Vietnam where a recon team led by John Hunter is ambushed by ninjas with Predator vision. Then the story flashes forward to 1986 where John Hunter is approached by an old Green Beret vet to let him know the evil ninjas are back and John’s daughter gets kidnapped by these evil creatures. From there it flashes back and forth between 1968 and 1986 showing where John got his ninja training and how he tracks down the evil ninjas that took his daughter. But just when you thought it couldn’t get any more ridiculous he has to time travel to the future in 1998 to get her back. Before I forget there are also dinosaurs and cyborgs in this film and the Trans-am in 1998 like the one in “Smokey in the Bandit”. This is a must own for any 80s action film lover as it leaves no stone unturned bringing its brilliant story to life. I give this project 4 stars and a front runner for one of the best films I have watched in 2019.

 

Bigfoot Ate My Boyfriend (DVD) – The film opens of course stating that it was based on true events. Sheriff Bailey has a situation on her hands as bodies are piling up in the woods and news wants to know what is going on. So she calls in the only local Federal Bigfoot Investigator she knows to help her track it down and stop it. But a former child star Jimmy Johnson of ‘Kung-fu Kid’ has plans of his own of going into the woods and challenging Bigfoot to a fight and getting it on film. Thus the event should thrust him back into Hollywood stardom. A hilarious but bad film about a Bigfoot that growls like a poodle when attacking and I am damn glad to own it as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. More info on the film can be found at www.gatorbladefilms.com .

 

Project: Eugenics (DVD) – A bad end of the world zombie film with not many zombies and is to be continued at the end of the film. The premise is a corporation called Eugenics wants to experiment on millions of citizens to see if a zombie vaccine works and they get all the profit. I give it 1 star.

 

Over the Edge (DVD) – A 1979 film that was based on a true event involving unruly teenagers and a Midwest community in the mid-70s. With the cities becoming overrun with crime and drugs, many families began to move out to rural areas where communities where were being built for people trying to escape the city life. Or what would become known eventually as the suburbs. This community of New Granada is supposed to be a wonderful place for families but a lot of their population is teenagers with nothing to do except for one rec center for entertainment. When a piece of land is no longer going to be a drive-in and bowling alley and going to have office space built on it the young people get upset. On top of that a rogue cop closes down the rec center soon things get out of control between the young people, the adults, and the cop. The film is watchable and stars a young Matt Dillon but doesn’t really have a character you really connect or root for. There are several other films of the early 80s that make this formula work better on film as I give the cautious tale of “Parents talk to your kids” 2 stars.

 

Den of Thieves (On Demand) – A wild action/crime flick where a crew of bank robbers try to pull off one of the biggest heists of the century and must deal with a L.A. sheriff that doesn’t always play by the rules. The crew is led by a man named Merrimen who been imprisoned for the past decade and use that time to plan a heist at the Federal Bank Reserve. Meanwhile the sheriff played by Gerard Butler knows Merrimen has something planned but always seems to be one step behind. A way better heist flick than you would ever believe so give it a chance as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Category III: The Untold Story of Hong Kong Exploitation (DVD) – A wonderful documentary documenting how this rating came in existence in Hong Kong cinema and how it has changed after 1997. A good bit of Hong Kong’s popular films took advantage of this rating and produced some of the greatest over the top films the world ever seen. Its peak existence was between the years 1988-1997 and they explained what led to the rating being made and what happened to Hong Kong cinema after China took control again in 1997. Very interesting stories behind Hong Kong cinema and some of the titles I have watched or heard over the years while searching for movies in video stores. I give the documentary 3 ½ stars.

 

Nude Nuns with Big Guns (DVD) – The title says it all as there really isn’t much to the plot except nuns being made to make drugs for bikers who work for the Catholic Church. Then the drugs are sold everywhere. When Sister Sarah is pimped out and pumped full of drugs she is saved by a so-called witch doctor. Sister Sarah in the drugged out dreamland receives a message from god to kill all that are involved with the drug trade. So becomes the nun vigilante that cannot be stopped as she massacres everyone for what they did to her. Fun B-movie crap that has big boobs, bullets, and lots of blood as I give 2 ½ stars too.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #457

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Gross Movie Reviews #457

 

The Snow Creature (DVD) – An unusual Yeti film about a botanist Dr. Frank Parrish who heads to the Himalaya Mountains to study plants with another scientist. When their guide’s wife gets kidnapped by the legendary creature Dr. Parrish becomes trapped in the mountains because his guide and others go searching for the Yeti. Along the way Parrish is able to help capture the creature and convince authorities to send it to L.A. for the find of the century. But the creature escapes into the night and goes on murder spree. It is unusual in the fact that there is more to this movie than just finding the Yeti and it’s not all spent in the mountains. Well worth the watch for Bigfoot film enthusiasts as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Venom (On Demand) – Well thank you for being a pleasant surprise instead of the pile of garbage a lot of people were claiming? Instead of using the original source material of ‘Black costume Spider-man’ this story seems to lean more to the ‘Venom: Lethal Protector’ series superhero aspect. I am sure there will be some comic book geeks out there to correct me but that is how I seen this film. I believe two things made this film very entertaining: first, no connection to the Spider-man series… yet and second, Tom Hardy was enjoyable as Eddie Brock. Eddie is a journalist first and when he is sent in to interview Carlton Drake and asks the wrong questions Brock uses his job, girlfriend, and apartment. Six months later a scientist from inside visits Eddie to explain Eddie was right about Drake and his experiments and space exploration. So Eddie breaks in to get more evidence but instead finds a symbiote that changes everything. Drake worried it will be loose in the world and Eddie will blow the lid off of everything tries to kill him any chance available. But as time goes on and the two bond they both understand they can only help each other if they are going to escape Drake and save the Earth from certain doom. I give this entertaining flick 3 stars.

 

The House with a Clock in its Walls (On Demand) – Another unexpected fun film that has Eli Roth directing and Jack Black starring about an orphan named Lewis who is sent to live with his crazy uncle. Uncle Jonathan just happens to be a warlock with help from a neighbor is looking for a secret clock in the walls by his good friend Isaac. Isaac went to war and came back with the help of black magic and conjured something very evil. Now the uncle and the neighbor must find the clock as it is counting down to something. Lewis slowly is learning to be a boy witch/warlock but accidentally brings back good old Isaac from the dead who wants to restart everything? I give this magic filled flick 3 stars.

 

King Cohen: The Wild World of Filmmaker Larry Cohen (DVD) – A wild documentary that takes a long look into the career of a filmmaker that spawned many careers and has made many fun inspiring films. We all know about Roger Corman and his impact but Cohen may have been the second generation of being a maverick in filmmaking as he put his own twist on things. Cohen as a writer, producer, and director has had an impact of filmmaking whether people admit it or not. A great watch as many of Cohen’s peers tells some hilarious stories including Fred Williamson which pay attention what is being said between the two as I give this documentary 4 stars.

 

Dead Trigger (DVD) – A mysterious viral outbreak turns hundreds of millions of people into zombies so the government produces a game called “Dead Trigger”. The government and Dolph Lundgren use this to find young people to join the armed forces in 2025 to go in to Terminal City where it all started. There is a possible cure there but the government has lost track of the first team they sent in. So these kids with Lundgren’s help head in to save the day. I really liked the concept of the movie but it failed horribly as it tries too hard to reinvent the zombie film instead of adding to it. I give it 2 stars.

 

Snake Outta Compton (DVD) – Holy crap this is crap! A young rap group is trying to gear up their possible record deal tomorrow until their nerdy roommate brings inside a snake that fell from the sky. The nerdy roommate experiments with the snake and mutates it and the snake reacts to rap music. Once it escapes it is up to the budding rap artists to track it down and kill it. If “Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper” didn’t make you hate me then watch this film and you will as I give it 1 star for its horrible jokes that kept me entertained enough to get through this SyFy Channel reject.

 

Cucuy: The Boogeyman (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A Mexican urban legend is conjured up to kidnap young people in a small town. It is a dirty creature that comes out at night looking for bad children that is a story to little kids to scare the shit out of them. He apparently snatches the kids and takes them to his cave to be eaten later. When some kids go missing recently the common thread is they were bullies until a curious girl and her sister get mixed up with the urban legend. They find out a missing girl’s parents conjured up the creature to help them get revenge. The kids must get in the creature’s sack in order to enter his realm and stop it. Some blood, cool creature, enjoyed the urban legend part as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Demon Lover Diary (YouTube) – Did you know the 70s film “Demon Lover” had a documentary? Nope! Neither did I people as it was released for a short time on VHS supposedly but was one of these things that were a myth. I have heard a few stories of this existing showing how not to make a film but basically shows Donald G. Jackson of “Rollerblade” and “Hell Comes to Frogtown” fame having troubles on his first low budget production. A couple of filmmakers drive from the east coast out to Michigan to help Donald Jackson on his project “Demon Lover”. You be the judge was the project doomed from the start? Or did the three people that headed out to Michigan to make this documentary help the chaos along? However you see this documentary it is an interesting peak inside of low budget filmmaking that could be used as a learning tool for new and old filmmakers out there as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ocular (DVD) – An absolute bizarre short film from David Brudie that has an unknown individual eat a bloody poo sandwich, pop zits, eat bloody snot, then has a weird groping session with itself. I know the film is supposed to mean something but in my opinion comes off as let’s see how many random scenes of gross can I put in the short film and call it art? What’s not so weird is I believe there is an audience for it as I give it 2 stars for trying to be disgusting.

 

The Demons of Ludlow (VHS/YouTube) – A small town named after its founder 200 years ago ‘Ludlow’ is celebrating its 200th birthday. For the celebration an odd piano from Ludlow’s family collection has been returned to the town and strange things begin to happen. Apparently Ludlow wrote a list and cursed the town. A reporter Debra Hall comes through town is there to do a story on the celebration knows a little about the odd history of the town as her grandfather use to tell her stories. She investigates and cannot find any history on the town but the folks who have lived there all their lives believe it is the Ludlow demons? This haunted piano film is pretty dull at times but would be a wonderful pick for the new MST3K as I give it 2 stars.

 

Dead in the Water (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A boat full of activists trying to track down and stop a boat that was doing illegal ocean fishing breaks down. While they try to get engine working again and get moving before the major storm rolls in they believe they see something floating out on the ocean. The activists pull in a dead body that awakes and almost kills two of them. During an autopsy they believe he may have a contagion but something was living inside of him. Now that it is loose it attacks them one by one feeding on anything warm blooded. If you enjoy “The Thing” rip-offs this was bearable as I give it 2 stars.

 

Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women (DVD) – A B-flick from the late 70s about a nun and some orphans who escape from a war torn China on a plane. The plane goes down and the orphans are left to fend for themselves on an uncharted island. Twenty-five years later a small plane full of men sets down because they are lost and low on fuel. They quickly find out the island is populated by women. Wanting to keep the peace they try to speak with the women and possibly find help or fuel? They come to an agreement to help the women with the invading men from another nearby island. Not a whole lot goes on in the movie except for a few Miss Universe contestants wondering around in bikinis. I give it 1 star.

 

It Came from the Desert (DVD) – A low budget horror movie based on a video game I never heard of but didn’t stop me from trying to enjoy the mutant movie. Two brothers partying out in the desert find an abandoned military contractor building in the desert of New Mexico. They go exploring and find out there is giant ants infesting the building and now they are about to make their way above ground. The brothers after catching up with a scientist gain the knowledge that the military has been experimenting with alien DNA and ants since 1951. Now must stop them before it becomes a global catastrophe! One of those films you are surprised wasn’t made by Asylum Entertainment and showed up on SyFy Channel as I give it 2 stars.

Supergrid (On Demand) – The latest project from “Wolfcop” filmmaker himself Lowell Dean where the film is set in the not-to-distant future where ‘black lung’ has infected most of the population. The Campbell brothers are employed to ride into the ‘grid’ aka what is left of America to retrieve a mysterious package and bring it back to Canada. They must fight their way through cannibals and road gangs with no protection in order to complete their mission. Problem is once they have the package they learn what it is and do not want to hand it over once they make it back. Lots of good action scenes keep the low budget post-apocalyptic film going. For me it isn’t “Wolfcop” but it was cool seeing some of the cast and Lowell Dean doing something different as I give it 3 stars.

 

Alien Beach Party Massacre (VHS) – This ultra-low budget flick has aliens stealing a weapon called the ‘death-sphere’ which by the way looks like a volleyball. When some ugly aliens come to claim it back they send the death-sphere to Earth to hide it and crash land there. Now Lord Odem is pissed and must go to Earth to retrieve it and vaporize anyone that gets in his way. The most hilarious part of the film is half of it takes place in a supposedly haunted mansion where the beach bums all go to party with the death-sphere. The movie has its dull moments but kudos for it being a one of a kind horror/comedy as I give it 2 stars.

Hellfest (On Demand) – A slasher flick where the unknown killer uses a Halloween themed amusement park as his back drop to stalk and kill people. Six college kids head inside for booze and scares and instead deal with a person that wants them dead. The plot is simple but interesting as I like the little things about the film as it is set in reality more than your usual “out at the cabin by the lake”. In a nutshell that is the movie. “Hellfest” has a good amount of gore and the killer doesn’t seem to have a real motive other than what you see at the end of the film. The horror film is by no means one of the best of 2018 but I did enjoy it for trying to be a little different and thank you for Tony Todd! I give this well worth a watch horror film 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Best of 2018 list or at least what I watched this year!

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1) Terrifier (On Demand) – A film from Damien Leone that I had been hearing things about for a couple years it seems. Well horror movie fans grab the Halloween candy and turn down the lights as there is a new fun Halloween holiday horror flick to enjoy! Art the Clown is out on the town Halloween night carrying his sack of goodies. Art not having much to say voice wise uses his actions to tell you what he is about to do. As Art wanders the streets a pretty young lady named Tara catches his eye and follows Tara and her friend Dawn into a pizza shop. Of course Dawn takes pics of her and the weird ass clown that keeps an eye on Tara for her social media page. From there it just gets creepy as hell as their car has a flat and Tara runs to a close by apartment building to use the bathroom. The fun holiday night goes to hell when Art the Clown shows up again to begin his bloody path to the girls and anyone that interferes. I love the whole thing of Art the Clown just existing and actor David Howard Thornton was perfect for the role. “Terrifier” wasn’t just entertaining but pure horror awesomeness as the film took the gore level up a notch with a great ‘death by hacksaw’ scene (poor Dawn)! The film was grim, gritty, and absolutely beautiful. Mark my words “Terrifier” will be one of the best horror films of 2018 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

 

2) The Night Watchmen (DVD) – So Blimpo the Clown, a Baltimore native, has died in Romania while on tour. His body is shipped to the Baltimore Gazette instead of the morgue down the street. The night watchmen are made a deal by the two guys who made the mistake to keep it overnight. We are introduced to two crazy watchmen who for the most part just watch porn and play cards, while a third that might be witness protection reads a lot, and the new guy who is done with the band thing. Everything that happens at the gazette is known by these guys: missing lunches, cute girls on which floor, when the boss (James Remar) is feeling up young ladies’ butts. Well their boss gets curious about Blimpo’s coffin to see if he can steal anything but instead finds Blimpo the Vampire! Blimpo and his fellow going army of vampires have taken over the building and Karen the cute journalist is in trouble. So the night watchmen and the rookie come up with a plan to save her and possibly ask her on a date while fighting vampires. We get a hilarious, awesome glorious bloody mess of a horror film that will be on my ‘Best of 2018’ list. I give this movie 4 stars folks.

 

3) The Shape of Water (Theater) – An amazing creature love story set in the 50s. A mute woman works as a janitor with her best friend at a classified facility that has just gotten a new addition. This new exciting addition happens to be a creature that lives in the water and was worshipped as a god in South America. The military is very interested, the Russians are interested but not that interested, but this mute woman forms a relationship with the creature. She feels exactly like the creature and has finally someone that understands her. Forming this bond with the creature by eating lunch with him every day, a scientist who happens to be Russian posing as an American sees this amazing experience as something that needs to be researched. Russia does not feel the same way and the Americans are just looking for the next dog to send to space as the “Great Space Race” has begun. The janitors with the help of a friend and the scientist sneak the creature out and into the mute woman’s apartment. This is just temporary until they can release the creature when the rains come. During that time the woman and the creature’s relationship becomes that much bigger and find it difficult to part from each other when its time. The movie is absolutely amazing looking and gonna be one of the best films of 2018 as I give it 4 stars.

 

4) Bubba the Redneck Werewolf (DVD) – Bubba is a redneck through and through and doesn’t stand up for himself much as his high school girlfriend (Bobbi Jo) is now seeing someone else. Bubba depressed decides to make a deal with a demon to help this status and he is turned into a werewolf for his soul. While Bubba is learning of his new appearance, strength, actually having sex with Bobbi Jo, and hunger for chicken wings at the bar, the demon is going around the small town and finding gullible folks. The demon makes deals for their souls that go bad quickly. Now the small town looks to Bubba the Redneck Werewolf to do something about it? And Bubba does what any self-respecting person does and that is challenge the demon to a game of quarters! I absolutely loved this film and totally believe if the great horror film “Wolfcop” exists more horror fans would have found this 2014 flick and been talking about it. This is much lower budgeted film than “Wolfcop” but is very witty take on the werewolf concept and think horror and werewolf fans need to give this film a chance as I give it 4 stars.

 

5) Another Wolfcop (Theater) – Lowell Dean finally gives me the sequel not only I wanted but all Wolfcop fans. Lou is still on the prowl but these days during a full moon Sheriff Tina believes it would be better that Lou is locked up. Busy drinking and having his usually ‘Liquor and Donuts’ baker dozen as they are the official sponsor of Wolfcop. Of course Lou doesn’t listen and gets out and after an incident; Tina has to take lip from the mayor (Kevin Smith) about a Wolfcop running around town.  After a night of the usual chaos and Lou taking a truck back because its evidence he finds his dead friend or reborn friend/shape shifter Willie in a present. So the old tag team is back, maybe as Wolfcop has come against a new robotic foe that was built by a scientist controlled by Sidney Swallows. Swallows plans on getting the local folk drunk on his new cheap beer ‘Chicken Milk Stout’ then killing them at the hockey game. Honestly I am not making this up as Willie now has a mutant dick that smokes weed with him. Willie also has a werewolf sister who bangs Lou and has six tits! And apparently snorting moon rock is like steroids for werewolves. This beautiful mess is all mashed together in a 82 minute sequel that is just as much fun as the original. See it now as I give it 4 stars.

 

6) Mom and Dad (DVD) – This bat shit crazy film stars Nic Cage and Selma Blair as normal parents just trying to make it through parenthood. But a strange unexplained virus is hitting parents worldwide where they have the urge to kill their own children. And parents are just doing plain boring murders they are trying to do some brutal ass damage. Once the virus hits Nic Cage and Selma Blair’s characters it is freaking hilarious as they chase their kids all over the house and try to gas them out of the basement. When you thought it could not get any better we get a great scene about life sucking with kids and people not understanding. But the ultimate topper is when the grandparents show up for the forgotten dinner and the grandpa is mother fucking the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen and he starts stabbing the shit out of Nic Cage. Horror fans check the brains at the door and just enjoy this this amazing piece of film of complete chaos and how beautiful it is as I give it 4 stars.

 

7) Mayhem (DVD) – Imagine if “The Belko Experiment” was done better with a simpler plot to it. The new virus that is affecting people around the globe is the ‘red eye virus’. This virus doesn’t kill you as it attacks your brain and makes you just not care. Some people it affects them sexually, some people it gives them angry rage, and so on. The point is this law firm with the help many people that work long and hard for the company found a way to get a man off for murder who killed a co-worker during the time he was infected with the virus. The CDC is aware of it and constantly trying to find a cure for it. But someone has put the virus into the water supply of the law firm and now it is on lockdown. Not before the dude that found the loop hole is fired and a woman his company is screwing over is supposed to be thrown out. Because of the lockdown the two decide to make a pact to make their way to the top in a gruesome, murderous, sexually charged rampage to kill the president of the company because they wouldn’t be blamed. Great concept for a film, gory as fuck, and absolutely entertaining as hell as I give it 4 stars.

 

8) Halloween (Theater) – Remake, sequel, forgetting everything in the series? Take your pick as Blumhouse Productions goes the route of JJ Abrams “Star Trek” in bringing Michael Myers back for another installment. That’s the best way to describe it. But I will give you the long way about it also: Okay folks, first you are supposed to forget everything after the first film 40 years ago… Second, even though “Halloween II” took place the same night Halloween 1978, forget that too just in case. Third, no this isn’t a remake of “H20” even though there are a few scenes of déjà vu. Fourth, Laurie Strode and Michael Myers are not brother and sister which I believe they explain quickly and brilliantly during the film. Fifth, didn’t Laurie Strode die? Oh yeah, you were supposed to forget that too since you are not supposed to remember she died already in Part 8. Sixth, no Busta Rhymes and Michael died for good at the end of part 8 (if interested “Halloween: Resurrection”, remember don’t blame me). Seven, didn’t Rob Zombie start a new timeline? It’s very therapeutic for me to explain this.  Now with all that out of the way I absolutely fucking love this film. It felt like a part of the series part sequel/part renewing of original material. After The Babysitter Murders in 1978 Michael Myers was captured by the Haddonfield Police and Dr. Loomis. Since then Michael has been sitting in a maximum security asylum for the past 40 years and Laurie Strode has become a basket case doomsday prepper who suffers from surviving that night. A British podcast team comes asking questions on the 40th anniversary of the murders. Laurie is more concern as they are about to move Michael to a horribly tortuous secured facility where he will live out the rest of his life not saying a word. They show him the mask and it does get a reaction but still no words. It is believed that both Michael and Laurie only live to kill each other at this point? Of course Michael escapes and starts murdering spree going house to house until finding out where Laurie and her family is. This time Laurie is prepared! If you pay attention there is a lot of talk of Dr. Loomis, the school daze scene, Laurie Strode falling out the window and getting up, the people behind this really did their best to incorporate the first film. Including the opening credits! Simply it was nice to enjoy the series again without trying to reinvent the ‘Boogeyman’ as I give this 4 stars with a little hesitation for the mere reason I believe there is a couple different endings for this film and that MAKES ME INTRIGUED.

 

9) B-Documentary 2 (DVD) – Nick Charles is back with a sequel to his great documentary about the independent film world. With introduction done by Lloyd Kaufman of course, Nick and crew worked their asses off to get opinions and conversations from several actors, actresses, and filmmakers. Some are well-known and some are on the rise as they dig deeper in this documentary to help explain things to audiences that may not know what goes on in the independent film business. This time around we get: Gary Sherman, John Bloom aka Joe Bob Briggs, Adam Green, Lynn Lowry, Tiffany Shepis, Kevin Van Hentenryck, Glen Coburn, James Balsamo, Mathew Fisher, Kevin Forte among several others. They were all asked questions such as “How they got started?” “How should future filmmakers get started?” “What is the key to make a successful movie?” You see where this going but the varying opinions is what amazed me because I could argue different points with each of the people interviewed but also agreed with several things that are said on this DVD. Viewers and filmmakers alike this isn’t just a ‘need to watch’ movie… People this is a ‘need to own right now’ documentary that gives you more than just an inside look of independent filmmaker but a peak into the lives of these celebrities you may not have had the pleasure of knowing or hearing of their experiences. I believe Nick and crew got the right mix of talent that is featured in this movie as they are all just different enough to make this work flawlessly. This absolutely perfect film documentary should be used in film school as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

 

10a) Swiss Army Man (DVD) – Possibly the most bizarre, completely entertaining, and glorious film you will ever watch in your life. I do not say that lightly. Daniel Radcliffe said it best on a late night talk show, “It’s a film about farting, erections, and a dead guy.” If you do not find that funny: one, this isn’t the film for you and two, you are most likely dead inside? The film begins with a young man played Paul Dano who is trapped on a small island trying to hang himself until he sees a dead body wash up on shore. Its Manny aka Daniel Radcliffe and once he begins farting Dano’s character rides him across the water to freedom and onto an adventure that will blow your mind. They become friends, eat out, share stories, start fires, and fight a bear. You get the picture? If you haven’t witnessed this film yet make it so because the ending makes the movie even more bizarre and fun. I give this hilarious flick 4 stars farting all the way.

 

10b) Brutal Relax (short film) (Vimeo) – From the makers of one of the best films of 2017 “Fist of Jesus” in my mind that I watched, comes this beautiful gem! A man is told by his doctor he needs to relax so this man heads to the beach in his white underwear, sits on the beach, and listens to music. He loves it, he is relaxing… Then ugly creatures come from the sea and begin a brutal bloody gore filled massacre on the beach. Our main character still sits blissfully unaware of what’s going on as people are running for their lives and being ripped a apart and feasted on! The creatures luck changes for the bad when the man’s music stops and he stands up in a fit of rage and takes it out on the creatures. Once again brilliant, beautiful, fun, amazing, and downright entertaining. For me 2018 has started off right with this short film as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. For more details on this project and the great “Fist of Jesus” head over to www.fistofjesus.com .

 

10c) Sicario (DVD) – A female F.B.I. agent (Kate) who is a bad ass has just been pulled to be a part of a D.O.D. mission. She is to observe and understand what is coming. She is to observe a team of experts who plan to fight against the Mexican cartels who just happened to tunnel their way into Arizona recently. She has the chance to make an actual difference as there has been a change at the highest level of U.S. government to try to stop or at least counter the latest actions of the cartels. Josh Brolin is a free spirited man who believes Kate can learn and understand what the government is trying to do here with the cartels. But then she introduced to a mysterious man, a hitman played by Benicio Del Toro who is very calm in what he does and kind of looks out for Kate at first. A deal has been made, lines are now blurred, and there isn’t procedure any longer, as its war! And the hitman is here to restore order by any means needed. Alejandro, the hitman is a Columbian hitman that is here in the U.S. to restore order. When Kate disagrees she finds out the hard way this isn’t the F.B.I. any longer. With this latest flick I have seen Del Toro has just made it into ‘my top 5 actors I want in everything’. This action flick about the cartels does not wimp out as it is cold hearted and fucking awesome as I give it 4 stars.

 

10d) Black Panther (Theater) – Bottom line Marvel movie fans Black Panther’s universe is much bigger than you can imagine and how much it will impact the next “Avengers” flick. For the most part this is an origin story of the character and has a kick ass villain to boot. The Black Panther isn’t all about staying hidden but believes the world needs help but first he must save his kingdom from his cousin. A cousin that was abandoned in America and not brought home after his father’s death. The film is absolutely wonderful and the landscapes are just beautiful. Marvel should be proud of the job they did with this fun film because it stands in my top five Marvel films to be rewatched over and over again. Now do me a favor and give me another damn “Blade” movie for the love of Wesley Snipes! Saying that this comic book movie is a must see as I give it 4 stars.

 

10e) The BPO Halloween Mixtape from Hell! (DVD) – The BPO Films trio has a lot of fun with a couple of short films called Benny Bob and Phantom’s Super Halloween Special 1 & 2. Also in between you get a couple “Pizza Boy” trailers which I could not stop laughing throughout. If Benny Bob and Phantom are not trying to scare each other they do fight a demon! This collection doesn’t show off their talent as much showing they are all about just having fun when they put together a wonderful project and that can take you a long way. It reminded me a lot of the early stuff that I have seen from independent filmmakers Jim Roberts, Steve Rudzinski, and Rick Fusselman. Make something out of nothing and just enjoy what you put on film. Dumb hijinks that doesn’t get old and also just referencing popular movies like “Ghostbusters” doesn’t hurt for laughs. Well done guys as I give it 4 out of 4 stars as this entertaining DVD will get replayed around Halloween at my home. For more info on these guys check out www.bpofilms.com .

 

Honorable mentions for 2018!

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (On Demand) – One of the most talked about horror films of 2018 and for good reason. This got a lot of horror fans’ attentions when the puppets first showed up at Texas Frightmare weekend and we all were learning this film will be very different from the original Charles Band production. It is hard to define if this is a reboot, sequel, etc., as the new film is based on the characters but taken in a much darker direction that many of the “Puppet Master” entries stayed away from. But anyhow a comic book store employee has recently moved back home after a divorce and has hooked up with the girl across the street. They make the decision to head to a toy convention that is celebrating the 30 year anniversary of ‘The Toulon Murders’. There he hopes to sell what he thinks are one of Toulon’s original puppets that may or may not have killed his brother when they were young. Once there and after the creepy tour with Barbara Crampton the retired cop, the dolls are disappearing from people’s hotel rooms and thought stolen. But the evil puppets are killing again thanks to Toulon who has risen from the grave! The hotel becomes the center of an all-out bloodbath and the only way to maybe stop the murdering puppets is find the undead Toulon. After watching the film I was surprised at the cameos and how many bodies pile up in the film. The film takes a wonderful and entertaining ride into evil and I liked it! Not a fan of the puppets like the original but I am wanting more… I give the film 3 ½ stars. But I have two questions I want answered: When is the sequel coming? And will Charles Band ever make another “Puppet Master” film now with this existing?

 

The Babysitter (DVD) – This teen horror film that is a wolf in sheep’s clothing lures you in thinking the film is just another teen horror but blossoms into a hilarious gore fest. Cole is a nerdy teenager that still has a babysitter. But the babysitter is a very hot young lady named Bee that just seems to get Cole. Cole and she have a lot in common and Cole is starting to grow up and see Bee in a different light. Cole convinced by the girl across the street to stay up to see if Bee parties or make out with her boyfriend after Cole goes to sleep during babysitting nights. Cole does… And what Cole witnesses is nothing he was prepared for as Bee invites friends for a game of spin-the-bottle which turns into a blood-soaked sacrifice! Cole now must go all “Home Alone” in order to survive Bee and her friends now he knows the truth. The horror flick is a fun reminder yes it takes lots of blood and guts to entertain but also just a simple hilarious storyline could make the horror film worth the watch. I really enjoyed this fun horror flick as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Domestics (On Demand) – The film is set in a post-apocalyptic world where the government may have hit the reset button by dropping black poison on all its citizens one random day. Those who were immune or survived are faced with fighting for their lives day in and out if you are anywhere near the major highways or roads. These are the areas where different gangs of “Sheets, Gamblers, cannibals, etc.” settle at looking for fresh humans for whatever means they need. We are introduced to a lovely couple who were in the process of a divorce right before all this shit went down and just trying to survive like everyone else. The wife has lost contact with her family and wants to travel to Milwaukee to see them. So the husband packs up the AMC Eagle and get on the road out in the Midwest to drive to their destination and satisfy the wife. I really enjoyed this possible reality or outcome of America because I could easily see this happening and that is some cool shit! For that I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Sleeper (Blu-ray) – A way cool 2-disc retro horror flick set in 1981 on a college campus. The Thetas are looking for a few new pledges but an unknown psycho has other plans as he keeps crank calling the sorority house and announcing which member he is about to kill next. His weapon of choice is a hammer which brutally messes up his victims. When more girls begin to go missing the police begin to take the murders seriously but have trouble tracking down who the killer could be? Justin Russell the writer/director of the film puts together a wonderful horror walk down memory lane that was like a mash up of “Black Christmas” and “Graduation Day”. If that wasn’t enough we also get a cameo appearance by the man, the myth, the legend, Joe Bob Briggs as the doctor but also you get him to do his ‘drive-in totals’ for the film as an extra. Great stuff folks as I give this fun retro horror film 3 ½ stars.

 

Bong of the Living Dead (Blu-ray) – A group of friends who smoke tons of pot and debate zombie movies on the front porch daily is the main plot of this flick. Their lifelong dream of a zombie apocalypse happens in front of them and it doesn’t go exactly as planned. If anything it is lame for the group of friends. They spend days in the house not in danger and of course smoking lots of weed. But after a couple close calls of a zombie attack and the weed supply running low the group has decided it may be time to have an actual plan to do something before they are all zombies! Max Groah and crew did a wonderful job of crafting an excellent zombie/comedy with great dialogue, cool characters you care about, and some excellent effects. It’s hard to believe this was an Indy project as it is proof of when everything is done with love of the genre.  As hilarious as the film is it does take a serious tone close to the end of the film which caught me off guard. But from beginning to end this film does not disappoint Indy fans as this may be this year’s “Attack of the Killer Donuts” as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more details about the film: www.bongofthelivingdead.com and www.facebook.com/botldmovie .

 

 

Street Team Massacre (DVD) – Oh I had no clue what I was getting into but glad I watched this flick. This movie has moved into my great finds that include stuff like “Death Metal Zombies”, “Woodchipper Massacre”, “Holy Shit… Zombies”. But anyhow this 2007 independent film begins in a room full of people in lab coats in 1999. They have a college aged test subject who is there to test their energy drink and give them feedback for twenty bucks. He drinks a Mango energy drink and soon begins attacking all in the room. Several years go by and we are in the Eco-Elixir conference room present day where a new sales/street team person is going to be introduced to his co-workers. Excited for the struggling juice company he is excited to get out on the street until he and his team have a run-in with the Jock Juice crew on the beach. The Jock Juice team always seems to be one step ahead of the Eco-Elixir team until new guy comes up with an idea to go check out this unknown music jamboree in the mountains. Problem is there are only six or seven rednecks and the jamboree was only five minutes long. But unbeknownst to the team members their Eco-Elixir has been switched with the “Mango” test drink from years ago that causes changes in people and make them attack others. Now, you have biting rednecks with a uni-brow trying to kill both energy drink teams. Its cheesy, stupid, has Lloyd Kaufman looking at a ‘Gorillas in the Piss’ magazine, Roddy Piper selling energy drink out of his driveway, and George Hardy as I am all in as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Housesitters (Vimeo/DVD) – An independent horror/comedy that has young two girls: Angie and Izzy getting the perfect job of housesitting for a guy that Angie met the night before. Plus the house has everything including a Platinum card to order anything and the satanic pentagram with candles in the basement. But the young ladies still have free reign of the house. This includes smoking lots of weed, watching a crazy amount of porn with the pizza guy, and hanging with their guys until a little demonic creature shows up and kills them in their bathroom. Once they understand they cannot leave the house as there seems to be a void outside of it they find a spell book. They also find a note inside explaining they are part of a demonic ritual to bring forth a demon god. The two decide to confront it in the basement with surprising results. Jason Coffman put together one amazing film as it made me laugh out loud six or seven times. The Indy flick isn’t just entertaining but gives you something unexpected and funny. I love this kind of stuff and kudos to Jason and company as I give this flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the film at www.facebook.com/Housesittermovie or www.housesittersmovie.com .

 

No One Lives (DVD) – Oh for the love of Rutger Hauer this was such a pleasant surprise. We have a family of criminals who look for small time heists, people to screw over, cons, etc. Their last job goes bad when they had to kill the people that lived at the house they were robbing early. Upset, they hit the bar and find a normal looking couple that looks like they have money? The innocent couple is moving and just wants left alone but of course that cannot happen. The couple gets taken on a dimly lit road and the criminals believe they got a score that will make up for the last one that went wrong. Things go sideways when the woman of the couple slices her own throat on a knife and they break into the gentlemen’s car only to find a blonde woman tied up in the trunk. Things go to even weirder when they learn this normal looking man is a crazed and beyond smart serial killer that is upset his trophy has been killed. Chaos ensues as the criminals now become the hunted in their own home. Brutal and beautiful at the same time as I give it 3 1/2 stars.

 

The Machine (DVD) – It’s the future and a very bright doctor named Vincent McCarthy is doing research and trying to develop A.I. that will like a human. Lots of tries but it always thinks like a computer. He wants it to be logical. He dreams of a cyborg of sorts that you cannot tell the difference. But also too he is trying to make a program, a chip, or parts that would form with the human brain, arm, leg to become one with them. The good doctor is trying this on war vets that have no hope of brain function or missing limbs and no where else to turn. Of course the government that is funding the project wants it as a weapon. The government’s goal is to defeat China in this not too distant future. While looking for an assistant or testing them Dr. McCarthy finds Ava, a woman who has a program of her own that is fond of the good doctor and how he treats the program as an equal. When the higher ups feel Ava and Vincent are getting to close they kill Ava. Dr. McCarthy knows this and builds a prototype robot with Ava in mind. From there the film gets very interesting as it does not take the usual twists you would expect. Enjoyable flick that may explain this reality is not as far away as we common people think as I give it 3 1/2 stars.

 

Victor Crowley (Blu-ray) – The fourth entry into the “Hatchet” series has Victor Crowley returning to his roots in the swamp to begin killing again. This mishap begins when Andrew Yong after a decade since the horror he faced he writes a book about “The Bayou Butcher” and goes on tour. Meanwhile a filmmaker who is also a huge fan of Mr. Yong’s wants to get him to do a cameo in her fake trailer about Crowley? Before she really has a chance to ask Andrew is pulled away for a big deal to go back to the swamp for a network special. The plane goes down in the swamp and the filmmaker and crew while there try to help the survivors. While doing that they forgot they left YouTube on trying to learn part of the script that has someone reciting the voodoo ritual to bring Crowley back. Once the right person aka Tony Todd shows up saying the ritual and Crowley is back from the dead on a killing spree again. I really enjoyed this entry as it seemed to keep it simple and keep it very bloody but also hit all the right slasher film cues as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Slaughter Drive (DVD) – Ben Dietels independent film tells the story of a man named Doug who is a filmmaker. Doug gets home feeling like a failure when his last film doesn’t go over well only to be greeted by his soon-to-be ex-wife bumping uglies with another man. With things this bad Doug tries to get past his troubles and start on his next project which has him setting up his camera in the local park. While there friends convince Doug to leave the camera and go drinking with them. Some hours pass and Doug heads back only to be confronted by a stranger who says nothing and runs off. Doug comes to regret leaving his camera in the park later as this stranger maybe his new weirdo neighbor who is killing off Doug’s friends. When Doug watches the footage of what his neighbor done Doug tries his ass off to convince police and his two best friends that he is living next to a crazed killer! It is crude, hilarious, and rough around the edges kind of slasher with some excellent effects work. It also helps many Yuengling bottles make it into scenes along with someone mentioning their buckeye in conversation… I give this hilarious film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.  Find out more at www.bpofilms.bigcartel.com .

 

The Rezort (DVD) – Another fun take on the zombie genre from the UK I believe? Ten years has passed since some worldwide virus turns millions of humans into zombies. The antidote was introduced to everywhere except one island. This island has now become a ‘Jurassic Park’ of zombies where some big corporation got the idea of if you got the money they have the zombies to shoot and kill. But no one thinks how are they resupplying the stock of zombies? The story mainly revolves a woman whose father was killed during riots when the zombie virus first started to spread. She believes going to this island will get her over her nightmares and fears? Once there she has faced her fears but wasn’t counting on the zombies getting loose in the park and begin feasting on all vacationing there. Now, she and a small group of others have five hours to get off the island before the military levels the island! A wildly entertaining zombie flick folks as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Annihilation (On Demand) – Natalie Portman gets pulled into something you cannot imagine when her missing husband shows up at her door from a secret mission he was on. After being pulled over by the military and husband almost dying she is meeting with a scientist played by Jennifer Jason Leigh who explains an event that happened three years ago. Well an unexplained event involving something falling from space into a lighthouse that they now call the ‘shimmer’. Something is a rainbow force field that is expanding. It first just covered the lighthouse but eventually took over the swamp, the state park, and a community. It’s feared it will continue to spread all over earth? The government has sent several people into the shimmer but none have returned except for Portman’s husband which there are no answers for? So Portman, Leigh, and three other scientists make their way into the shimmer to see if they can get to the lighthouse and get answers. Once inside they encounter some very strange shit that is mutating plant and animal alike. Visually the movie is beautiful and plotted out very well. Honestly if the “Lost” TV show had any sense and could have been this instead of the ‘dreaming we are all dead’ bullshit it was. Sorry spoiler alert if you ever wanted to watch that poor excuse for a show? But I get the feeling many are not going to understand a film like this and feel this film might be a couple years before it is actually understood? We will see but if you want to enjoy a bizarre sci-fi flick to fill that void inside your inner nerd this film will it and more as I give it 3 stars.

 

Worst movies of 2018!

Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper (DVD) – Once again I am watching stuff I couldn’t make up if I tried unless I was David DeCoteau? A pretty boring film full of shirtless hunks, it’s November 1971 and supposedly in the woods turkey hunting in the state of Washington. A man named Bernie now older tells a story of how and why he knows the real story of D.B. Cooper. There is a reason the authorities have never found D.B. Cooper and it’s all because of Bigfoot. And Bigfoot is a Peeping Tom apparently? Weird shit so of course I watched it as I give it a half star only for having voiceover work done by Eric Roberts and Linnea Quigley.

Jeepers Creepers 3, let’s never speak of this again! Sorry it still bothers me this film exists.

Gross Movie Reviews #456

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Gross Movie Reviews #456

 

The Crawling Eye (YouTube/DVD) – This interesting 50s alien invasion flick is also known as “The Trollenberg Terror” which under that title has some extra footage to it also. Two sisters are on a train and are sitting with a scientist named Alan Brooks who is stopping in Trollenberg. The sisters decide to stop there with him. When they are there they soon learn there is a weird cloud that moves around the Swiss Mountains and has caused many accidents. Many have gone in the strange clouded mountains to not return. Or when they do they are dead and controlled by aliens. The one sister named Ann is considered a threat because of her psychic powers so throughout their time in Trollenberg her life is in danger. The aliens use the cloud cover to keep hidden until they strike. A wonderful sci-fi flick that lets you soak up the story before they roll out the creatures for the finale as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Death Collector (VHS) – This little known sci-fi film is from 1988 with two brothers Wade and Jack, one is a cop and the other is a traveling musician. Brother Jack gets shot saving Wade from a mob dude named Hawk. Apparently Hawk owns everyone’s life insurance policy. Wade gets framed and heads to prison for five years and then gets released along with all convicts because the world has gone broke. The banks caused the apocalypse as they made 99% of the world go into financial ruin. Wade is heads back to Hartford City to find Hawk as he wants to collect and it becomes a fight to the death. A different concept with not much going on in this post-apocalyptic film as I give it 1 star. Weird fact is the film was titled at one point “Tin Star Void”???

 

Escape from Safeheaven (VHS) – This is another lesser known society has gone into disarray film where there is safe zones called Safeheaven. They are fortified places that supposedly protect people from the savages in the outside world. Problem is the people inside run the community with an iron fist and sometimes are worse than the savages outside the walls. But a resistance is brewing inside the community and they are about to be led by a man named Pierce and a fake blind man. The film has a different take on the apocalypse but lacks in story telling as I give the film 1 ½ stars. The film also was sold in different countries as “Bloodscape”.

 

Kingsman: The Golden Circle (DVD) – I personally was rather excited when there was a sequel but oh I was sadly disappointed. The Kingsman’s headquarters and agents are all just about destroyed. In order to fight the man who help bring them down they join forces with American allies. The stunts seem to be bloated and useless with too much CGI.  And believe they should have left the Americans out of it as the films have now lost what was unique or fun about it. I give the sequel 1 ½ stars.

Leprechaun Returns (On Demand) – I believe this reboot of sorts surprised most of us horror fans especially since “Leprechaun: Origins” left a bad taste in our mouths. This film goes the way of the latest “Halloween” flick by ignoring all the other sequels. This newest entry tried to have a connection to the first film that Leprechaun fans would accept. Its biggest obstacle was replacing Warwick Davis as the title character. Well kids they did a good job and Linden Porco deserves a job well done for his performance as the Leprechaun. Lila is a college student who has just joined a sorority that bought a house far from campus for scientific reasons. The house happens to have the well where the Leprechaun was sent to his death 25 years ago and Lila is Jennifer Aniston aka Tori’s daughter. To help fill in backstory Mark Holton returns as Ozzie and tries to warn Lila of the danger. The Leprechaun has been mostly forgotten and the small town has moved on as the college has taken over. But of course you can’t keep a good Leprechaun down and he finds a way to return and begin his bloody killing spree again while looking for his gold.  Steven Kostanski did an amazing job bringing this once dead franchise back to life and added much needed gore back too. I know it made this Leprechaun movie fan happy there is a chance to see more as I give the film 3 ½ stars.

Killer High (DVD/SyFy Channel) – A high school reunion goes horribly wrong when a supernatural warthog mascot shows up butchering everyone. The women who went at each other all during high school trying to one up each other are made to work to together to solve this problem. Meanwhile the school becomes bathed in blood throughout the film until the two women can put aside their differences to battle this thing. There is an absolutely beautiful scene of a Christian girl who wants to face the thing with only a cross believing god will save her? Let’s just say she was wrong in a big way. What actually makes this movie wonderful is I was not expecting much from this film from its title and it premiering on SyFy but I was wrong! And happy to be wrong. Best way to summarize it is “Dance of the Dead” with a supernatural warthog instead of zombies as I give the horror flick 3 ½ stars.

 

Run (VHS) – A movie that was in and out of theaters in 1990/1991 where it places Patrick Dempsey in an action film. Patrick plays Charlie the law student who works as a mechanic to pay for college. He has a chance to make some extra money driving a car to Atlantic City one weekend. Of course young and dumb Charlie does it anyway and of course finds himself winning big at a poker table. Problem becomes a mob boss’ son is not happy and starts a fight with Charlie. But Denny accidentally dies in the scuffle and Charlie runs for good reason as the mob is now after him. For the rest of the movie Charlie must dodge the mob and the crooked cops in order to figure out who is actually on his side. Not a whole lot to the film but it is an entertaining watch if needing to kill 90 minutes as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Hand Strikes (YouTube) – Philip Brocklehurst a young filmmaker that is constantly working as just released his latest short film about a troubled man. The man has relationship troubles and to him the only to help cope with it is to just cut off his left hand with a meat cleaver. I mean it is completely logical… I guess! But anyway the hand isn’t dead and wants revenge for its owner cutting it off. I always enjoy Mr. Brocklehurst’s work but one thing did bother me about the short film as the severed hand constantly goes from left to right throughout the short film. Otherwise great to see more fun stuff from another talented filmmaker as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #455

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Gross Movie Reviews #455

 

Treevenge (YouTube) – A most beautiful and twisted Christmas tale about what a Christmas tree’s point of view during the holiday season. They wait for the right time to slaughter and torture humans… and I love it. This short film is perfect as I give it 4 stars all the way!

 

Running Scared (DVD) – An under radar type of film that stars Paul Walker in 2006 as low man on the totem pole mob crony. He is asked to get rid of a gun from a drug deal gone badly but the neighbor kid finds it and uses it to shoot his abusive stepfather. Things spiral quickly out of control as Paul Walker’s character Joey has to find the kid quickly or Joey and his family could disappear. If you are a fan of mob movies this is worth checking out especially for the twist at the end as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Johnny Gruesome (On Demand) – This independent flick is from filmmaker and author Gregory Lamberson. The story is from Greg’s book of the same name where Johnny is the typical head banging high school student. One night Johnny and his three friends are out driving and partying. Johnny begins driving faster and the friends worry. So Johnny is stopped and accidently killed so the three friends that were in the car make a pact to keep it secret as Johnny wasn’t gonna be missed. Shortly after the funeral Johnny’s restless undead body rises from the grave and begins murdering people at the high school as he wants revenge. Movies and books I have absolutely loved everything Mr. Lamberson has done… but this movie was a big miss for me. The trailer looks great and I like the concept of the Johnny Gruesome character but on film it never translates into success like a “Killer Rack” or “Dry Bones” to name a couple recent projects. I really wanted to love this film but it failed me as I have to give it 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Dead or Alive (DVD) – Takashi Miike makes a bat shit crazy film about a cop who takes on the Japanese mafia! You will think you have watched everything until you sit down and watch this flick as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Lawless Land (VHS/YouTube) – If it’s the 80s, foreign, and post-apocalyptic of Roger Corman produced it. A mid -80s flick that stars Amanda Peterson and Jsu Garcia as a young couple, Falco and Diana who are in love and from different sides of the track. They run off together and get married because Diana’s father disapproves and has Falco arrested shortly after. But Diana is in hiding and her father hires a merc to track her down. Falco breaks out of prison and tries to reach her before he does. Think of it as a love story in the wasteland. Needed more Patrick Swayze and his sword from “Steel Dawn”. I give the film 1 ½ stars.

All Through the House (DVD) – A low budget and first full feature from Todd Nunes that picked up some steam a couple years ago after hitting the horror festival circuit. The film has two storylines going: the first is, Rachel has come back home and wants to hang with friends but also help Mrs. Garrett the neighbor to finish decorating for the holiday. Second, is the masked Santa that is going from house to house slaughtering unsuspecting victims? Things seem to be your normal slasher flick until we learn Mrs. Garrett is the female version of Joe Spinell from “Maniac” and the killer enjoys hacking dude’s penises off. (They explain why at the end). This will sound awesome when reading about it but it has many flaws that I think hold the film back from being brilliant. Outside of Nunes’ sister as the lead actor and Mrs. Spinell the acting is horrid and that is being nice. And I believe if some things in the film happen in a little different order I believe we are talking about this film with the likes of “Black Christmas” and “Silent Night Deadly Night”. I give the movie 2 stars.

 

Terrified (Shudder) – A crazy paranormal horror film produced in Argentina where something lives in the darkness of a couple houses close together. Something monstrous but really cannot be explained. Things get weirder as the young boy dies and rises from the grave sitting at a table with its cereal and milk freaking everybody out. An older cop sees this and believes something supernatural is happening. The cop brings in a couple paranormal investigators and they find something that lives in the darkness that is completely unknown and fascinating. Things go horribly wrong and everyone dies and it’s awesome! I give it 3 stars.

 

Hereditary (DVD) – I want my 127 minutes of life back that I wasted watching this pile of elephant dung! A weird family with secrets where grandma was a witch and worshipped an eighth demon from the left wing of hell and a young girl gets decapitated by a telephone pole. Or rich white people with rich white people problems in this very boring film about a demon cult. The only highlight was me laughing 60 seconds straight when the little girl’s head got smacked off! I give it crap because it is crap, it was crap, and always will be crap!

 

Ninja Busters (VHS) – Holy fucking Rutger Hauer where was this B-movie hiding at? Two guys that are complete bums: one claims to Bruce Lee’s teacher and the other to be a student of Bruce Lee. But the two losers Bernie and Chic keep getting their asses beat until they stop by a martial arts studio to check out the women. They are convinced to join and after a couple years of training and hijinks they are martial arts masters. These so-called masters get themselves wrapped up with a mob boss and his hired ninjas that end the film in an ongoing twenty minute battle that even takes place in a nightclub. Supposedly ninjas don’t go to nightclubs… boy they were wrong. Think a buddy cop movie with ninjas and bad acting as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

See yinz at Grossfest!

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Gross Movie Reviews #454

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Gross Movie Reviews #454

 

Interface (DVD) – This oddball flick was released in 1985 by Vestron Pictures and I had high hopes for it after seeing the box. But sadly it didn’t live up to the box of weirdness I thought I might get? It wasn’t all disappointing as the film starts with a street punk played by Lou Diamond Phillips selling cocaine to some not really relevant rich dude. They get ambushed by a prankster that has cult status on the local college campus where he/she/it targets criminals. This time was different as someone died. Meanwhile Professor Hobson’s grad student disappears and he is the main suspect as the student’s wife isn’t helping much as she keeps getting Hobson in trouble with the law. After Hobson does his own investigating he finds out there is a secret group of hackers who wear weird costumes and use the master computer to decide who lives and who dies? Supposedly this was a student film made on the campus of Texas University and got lucky when video dealers were looking for films to put out there on VHS. Not a great film but one those geeky films you are glad you can say “you seen it” as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Equalizer 2 (DVD) – I was surprised to learn but excited Mr. Washington was doing a sequel to the movie that was based on an old 80s TV show. Only problem is it wasn’t nearly as good. But anyway Robert McCall is still anonymously helping out folks that no one else will help. This time around his closest friend is taken out after a simple trip overseas and it is all about tying up loose ends. McCall let’s nothing get in his way to kill every last person that has anything to do with his best friend’s death. I enjoy the concept and the heart is there but I thought this was the wrong script to go with. I still hold hope for a third flick but doubt it highly as I give the film 2 ½ stars. The movie isn’t all bad but they could have done at least a dozen better storylines instead of the usual one?

The Black 6 (YouTube) – The film has a bad ass beginning, a chaotic ending, nothing in the middle and stars six of the biggest football stars in 1973! A young black man named Eddie is killed by a white motorcycle gang. The Black Six get wind of this after a letter and take it upon themselves to visit this racist little ass town to find answers. Instead they must fight even though they want peace. By the way Mean Joe Greene is one of the six. Love the concept just wish there was more to the film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Ant-Man and The Wasp (DVD) – So Paul Rudd has been under house arrest for the past two years for helping the Avengers and Hank and his daughter refuse to talk to him. But Hank opened a portal for a few seconds that has Scott having dreams or flashbacks of the ‘quantum realm’ where Hank’s wife might still be alive. Hank and his daughter get Scott and try to fight off a new enemy of sorts named ‘Ghost’. They believe with the help of Scott and certain parts they can open a portal into the quantum realm and find her. The movie isn’t horrible at all but like the Thor films it feels like here is something to hold your attention for now until the stuff you really want will come out a year later. I give it 2 stars.

 

Gimme an “F” (YouTube) – A wannabe 80s sex comedy about a cheerleading camp that failed to be entertaining but may have been the prequel to “Bring it On” and the sad lost sequel to “Meatballs”? High school cheerleaders come from all over to this cheerleader camp to compete and learn before the regionals. A mid-twenties trainer wants more than just teaching cheerleading to high school girls may have his chance when his boss makes a bet with him to make the worst squad into something good. You do get a pair of sweater puppets with flags on them and almost underage sex but that is about the closest to a sex comedy in this feature. Also it runs twenty minutes too long as I give it 1 star. Next time cast Donald Gibb!

 

Dressed to Kill (DVD) – A great and creepy flick with an amazing cast that has an unknown blonde as a serial killer. Angie Dickenson plays a bored house wife who after seeing her doctor played by Michael Caine for advice, goes and cheats on her husband. After enjoying the experience she just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when a tall blonde slices and dices her on an elevator. The only witness who soon becomes suspect is an escort played by Nancy Allen in which the cops or Dennis Franz doesn’t believe her story. Meanwhile Angie’s son played by Keith Gordon begins to research and track who is leaving the doctor’s office and what time to figure out who could be the killer? Franz lets the escort know the evidence could be in the doctor’s office but no one is going to give him a warrant on hearsay. So Nancy and Keith devise a plan to get in the doctor’s office to get the evidence but be careful what you wish for in this well-crafted tale of murder. The film is nearly 40 years old and still entertaining as I give it 3 stars… Yeah, a buck naked Nancy Allen will never hurt the eyes folks.

American Antichrist (DVD/YouTube) – This independent flick stars, was written, and directed by filmmaker Dakota Ray. Mr. Ray dips his toe into the truly bizarre as the film is like a combo of death metal video and an experimental student film? A serial killer who dies of a drug overdose that considers himself as the Antichrist is kind of the center point or wrap around to the anthology depending on how you watch the film. Main aspect of the film is about depravity and desperate acts of humanity and how low people will go… or that is at least what I got out of it. Again the movie has that student film feel but unfinished like there was more too it but never shot. Plus and I could be totally wrong here it felt like Mr. Ray was experimenting with certain angles, lighting, etc. that will most likely help him in future projects. Honestly not totally sure what to think but it is bizarre enough I can see this independent feature finding a hardcore audience as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. For more info on the film go to:      https://www.facebook.com/American-Antichrist-350101585480631/

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019