Gross Movie Reviews #464

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Gross Movie Reviews #464

 

Slaughterhouse Rulz (On Demand) – Nick Frost and Simon Pegg produced a very British version of “The Boogens”. The biggest difference we get to see a lot more of the creatures and it’s under a very prestigious private school. Frost and Pegg are just mere set pieces for this feature as apparently there is fracking happening near the school. This fracking just happens to open the underground dwelling of these demon-like creatures to come up top side and begin feasting. Only a small group of kids stay behind for the weekend and they must fight for their lives in order to survive the onslaught of creatures. The school has a whole history of assholes and stories of demons that live beneath the school. I enjoyed the whole pecking order of students and the flesh-eating creatures but also see why this film kind of disappeared after it was heavily advertised around Halloween. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Jersey Shore Massacre (DVD) – A group of young ladies head to the Jersey beach for fun in the sun one weekend. Once there they find out the hard way Ron Jeremy rented the house to another group of young ladies thinking they were all the same. So Teresa tells the girls they can go party at her Uncle Vito’s house that is about 15 miles away in the Jersey woods. Once there the girls head to a Jersey Devil tour and head to the club for fun. Once they get through all the ‘Jersey Shore’ filler and head back to Uncle Vito’s house the girls and guys begin to be hacked and slashed to death! Lots of gore, a couple innovative kills, and the reveal of Uncle Vito make this ‘massacre’ film watchable as I give it 2 stars.

 

Satanic Meat Cleaver Massacre (DVD) – A gentleman keeps having nightmares of his recently deceased Nana. Also Nana happens to be a bootleg look-a-like of the “Curtains” killer who is killing people in the name of Satan. Geno doesn’t understand this family secret runs deep and the small community is in on it also as he investigates. The film has a lot of dull moments but bootleg “Curtains” killer keeps me interested enough to see the end as I give it 1 star.

 

Hot Tub Party Massacre (DVD) – Chubby tattooed sorority girls from Delta Omega and an escaped serial killer Fred Banning you got my attention. Fred has just escaped authorities and has a history of slaughtering young coeds. After slaughtering his way through the local college and takes a liking to the ‘final girl’ he makes his way to their party hotel to slash through the sorority with his trusty garden tool. The film follows the formula of making it feel like a lost independent B-slasher from 1990 with just the right amount of nudity, Brinke Stevens voice cameo, and characters you cannot wait to see slaughtered. But the lack of use of the hot tub was kind of a bummer as I was hoping many would die in it but zero did. I thank yinz for the pretty chubby tattoo women and naming Henrique Couto as the school president but this ‘massacre’ flick should be left for the hardcore ‘massacre’ fans as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Strait-Jacket (DVD) – A delightful William Castle film about Joan Crawford being sent to the asylum after killing her younger husband. After seeing him with a young lady in bed she goes in a rage and cuts off their heads. Her daughter witnessed it all but is excited 20 years later her mom is returning home after a new treatment is used and cured her. She is allowed to return to society. Once Lucy returns people begin disappearing and of course all the fingers point to her because of her past. Again a delightful thriller that was well casted that included first timer Lee Majors as I give the flick 3 stars.

The Unseen (DVD) – Filmmaker Geoff Redknap brings a fresh take to cool source material “The Invisible Man”. A man named Bob ran away from his family and good life eight years ago. He now resides in a small northern town working at the lumber mill just trying to keep to himself. His ex-wife calls him looking for help with their daughter Eva. Eva has changed a lot the past several months and went from going to college to wanting to possibly dropping out and traveling the world with her best friend. Bob against his own will decides to drive back to see his daughter and try and help. But Bob and Eva both have a secret. Now with Eva’s disappearance with friends at an asylum Bob is racing against time to find her as he gets sicker. Without trying to give too much away the film is gritty and a wonderful thriller that tells a compelling story of family using the “The Invisible Man” material as a backdrop. A slow burn with a great payoff will make this film a wonderful find for movie fans in 2019 as I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

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The Unseen is coming

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La Vergne, Tennessee (Thursday, February 14th, 2019) – The Unseen is an upcoming invisible man film from director Geoff Redknap (Cabin in the Woods). This title had its World Premiere at Montreal’s Fantasia Film Festival, this past Summer. Now, The Unseen is set to show on DVD and Digital, through United States’ film distributor Monarch Home Entertainment this February 26th.

The Unseen stars Aden Young (“Rectify,” 2013) as Bob Langmore. He has a strange condition, in which his body is slowly disappearing. Dissolving away, Bob reaches out to his family with time running out. However, his former wife, Darlene (Camille Sullivan) tells him that Eva (Julia Sarah Stone) is missing, leading to Bob’s desperate search for a reunion.

Monarch Home Entertainment will begin the film’s launch later this month. On February 26th, The Unseen will be available in the U.S., on DVD; this release has not been rated. The Unseen will also be available in a widescreen format, for film fans. And, director Redknap says that his influences include H.G. Wells’ The Invisible Man: “I did take some ideas from….H.G. Wells’…work” and some of those influences can be seen in the film’s official release trailer, found here.

The official trailer for The Unseenhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKQ57v4EUQs

Official synopsis: A man, who years earlier mysteriously abandoned his family and isolated himself in a small northern town, returns for one last chance to reconnect with his troubled daughter. When she goes missing, he risks everything to find her; including exposing the fact that he is becoming invisible.

Street Date: Feb. 26th, 2019 Rating: Not Rated SRP: $19.95 Genre: Thriller, Sci-fi Cat #:MHV 7973 UPC: 723952079732 Run Time: 105 Minutes.

Director/writer: Geoff Redknap.

Cast: Aden Young, Camille Sullivan, Julia Sarah Stone, Ben Cotton.

More details at Monarch: https://www.monarchhomeent.com/m/The_Unseen

Available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Unseen-Aden-Young/dp/B07L5GQ4RR/

New episode up as the legendary Jon Cross joins us!

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This week we bring our grandparents back to high school & go down to the basement to review 3 noteworthy flicks from the back of your local video store.  And we are bringing along our favorite guest host (and close personal friend of Bendy Dick Slumber Crotch) JON CROSS.  Along the way we talk about what kind of movie inspired statue we would love to see in our home town.  The high side and low side of Kickstarter. We sing the praises of Peter Dinklage.  And Jon tells us why he did not like the new X-Men and he makes a good point too.

 

http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

EPISODE 121

Gross Movie Reviews #321

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Gross Movie Reviews #321

 

By Tim Gross

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Class of 1999 (DVD) – It’s the future and schools have gone to hell… Remember the film was released in 1990. But imagine “Escape from New York” at a school and its surrounding community. Gangs have taken over everything and the school system is looking for answers in what to do and Bob Forest played by Stacey Keach is here to give an answer. He introduces the principal (Malcolm McDowell) of this high school to three new teachers played by Pam Grier, Patrick Kilpatrick, and John P. Ryan and they just happen to be androids! Androids built for the ten year war in South America and funded by the Department of Defense. Meanwhile, Cody has just been released from prison and just wants his old gang to leave him alone so he can attend class and not do hard time. Soon Cody’s curiosity gets the best of him when one of the teachers kills a student when a gun is pulled. He learns they are androids and they are beginning to do what they were built for and that is to kill in this awesome Sci-fi action/horror flick. I give this cool film 3 ½ stars.

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Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (VHS) – The film picks up right after the events of the first film but the sequel wasn’t released until 1994. A man who looks like a private investigator is looking into the events of the first film and believes Bob Forest had a ‘Plan B’ if the first three androids failed? The private investigator is actually some dude that was thrown out of the Department of Defense but doesn’t know what the android looks like but is following the dead body trail. So when a stiff, tall, blonde dude shows up at a high school that is having gang related issues and students begin to mysteriously die the investigator looks into it. The sequel isn’t nearly as fun as the first mainly because the cast and the lack of budget compared to the first film as I have to give this flick 1 ½ stars just for Nick Cassavettes being in the flick!

 

Meateaters (Full Moon Streaming) – Its Mark Polonia’s latest independent flick with Brett Piper back doing dinosaur/creature effects. A dinosaur seems to be stalking the woods for humans to eat and some young people just happen to be hanging out there. I was expecting more of a SyFy Channel/Sharknado or even a Tiffany/Deborah Gibson effort but the film just didn’t seem to hit all cylinders at all during its 70 minute run time. I still enjoy Mark Polonia and his films but I have to give this one only 1 ½ stars.

 

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (DVD) – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson joins in on the action as Roadblock along with the original “Joe” played by Bruce Willis in a lackluster sequel with Cobra and his evil members already in the White House with a fake president controlling things and trying to kill the Joes! The first film gave me such high hopes for this series but I believe this sequel may have been the death nail?! I give the boring sequel 1 star.

 

Shakma (VHS) – Mother fucking killer ass monkey fucking doors up, now this is a bad ass movie! I am ashamed I never caught this flick when it was first originally released in 1989. Some doctors in training are playing Dungeons and Dragons in a school building overnight with Roddy McDowell as the Dungeon Master/teacher. Well they fuck up by shooting up a monkey with some shit after it was experimented on and it failed and poof “Killer Monkey on Speed”!!! AWESOME! And let’s not forget the excellent Amanda Wyss also stars. I give the flick 3 stars. So go watch Shakma fuck up some doors.

 

The Runestone (VHS) – This guy Martin brings home an ancient runestone from a coal mine in Western Pennsylvania to his place in New York City. He begins to study it and is possessed by the runestone and becomes this odd werewolf thing that is feeding on New Yorkers. And the only person to stop him is that bad ass long blonde haired villain dude from “Die Hard”! Cool creature, some blood, Western Pa is mentioned, I give it a solid 2 ½ stars.

 

The Unseen (DVD) – Here is a creepy flick from 1980 starring Barbara Bach as a news reporter and her two friends Vicki and Karen who worked with her get screwed out of their room during some town festival. Forced to look miles away for a motel and no luck they run into a chubby, sloppy, weird dude who offers them a room at his big house. Never mind the weird noises you hear in the basement and the chubby dude is just creepy especially when you learn he believes “incest is best”. The young reporter gets curious when her two friends go missing or were just pulled down the furnace vents and discovers what or who is living in the basement. A great ending to a film that may have been a little shocking at its time of release makes for a cool lesser known horror film worth seeking out as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.