Gross Movie Reviews #465
Sewer City Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – The film declares in the opening credits that it is a film made with no script, no prep, NO BUDGET, and a week to make it! They came up with a story about a serial killer who comes through the toilets of residents in Sewer City and kill them. The mayor wants to run for a third term and needs this killer caught so he hires a homeless person who carries a plunger as his weapon of choice. The hobo has many run-ins with the killer with not a ton of luck but in the end good overcomes evil… maybe. An entertaining concept that gets old halfway through the film, but kudos for the people behind it seeing it completely through as I give it 1 ½ stars.
Hacked Horror Film Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – This ‘massacre’ title claims to be based on individuals who hacked into Hollywood studios computer systems to release a bunch of unreleased horror films. These projects were just sitting around and fall under a loop hole that makes them public domain once they hacked and placed out there? Most of it is more like random clips of monsters, horrible title sequences, and TV show ideas. I gave the film a fair shot but this was bad idea folks. I was having trouble getting through watching this uneventful film as I give it a ½ star.
Beach Massacre at Kill Devil Hills (DVD) – So actress Sarah French and a quick cameo from Dawna Lee Heising are wasted in this bad slasher film. Stacy and friends head out for the weekend to the cabin for some fun. The group is trying to help Stacy as her abusive ex-husband is being released from prison the same weekend. They just wanna show their support, drink, and have fun. As you wait almost 90% of the film for the ex to show up only to die of a quick death the filmmakers fill up the film with a lot of crap. Crap that includes two strangers: one being the horrible new mail girl for Joe Bob Briggs being nice and friendly until they get the group to play a game. The movie is very disjointed and feels like there may have been a few different scripts at play here. If anything I almost forgot I watched this movie already as I give 0 stars.
Teenage Zombies (DVD) – A hilarious late 50s flick where teenagers just wanna water ski but stumble upon an island they never seen before. The teenagers find a woman who claims she never leaves the island. But the teenagers soon discover neither will they as the woman just happens to be a valuable doctor who is doing secret research on prisoners. She now has the teenagers in her clutches and plans using her new formula of nerve gas on them. They all are just experiments to her. Even the teenagers do the right thing it comes down to the teenagers vs. the good doctor. A forgotten but funny drive-in flick that doesn’t ask you to think too much to enjoy it as I give it 2 stars.
Bed of the Dead (DVD) – Two couples head to the local sex club to rent a room and have their foursome between friends. Once there at the club they come to find out they are booked but the club has a room that is under renovation that are able to buy their way in. The four get into this large amazing bed and the guys eagerly wait for the girls to get started but something happens and freaks the girls out. Night of debauchery is over but the horror is about to begin as the four don’t know the evil history of the bed. One by one each is lured to leave the bed; if they do they die a horrible death. Now a burned out detective is trying to put the pieces together after he receives a weird text on a phone he finds at the crime scene. Spoiler alert after ten minutes you know what is going to happen but this movie is actually very interesting and surprised me despite knowing the ending. Another example of keeping the movie idea simple and not overthinking a movie idea that should not be this good. Give it a watch folks as you won’t be disappointed with this evil bed flick I give 3 stars too.
The Slit Mouthed Woman (DVD/YouTube) – The excellent Dustin Wayde Mills has a new short film that is blessed with the talented Erin R. Ryan who is an absolute joy to watch in movies. The story is about two women discussing an urban legend they may or may not have seen in an alley. The legend is about a beautiful woman who was horribly disfigured by her husband for an affair. Now she comes to haunt the two women asking them, “Am I beautiful?” To me the cool short film feels like a tale of horror meets an episode of “The Hitchhiker” or “Red Shoe Diaries”. I give the short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars as I believe Dustin is one of the few that is blessed with great filmmaking talent and always has me wondering what will his mind come up with next for independent film fans? Available for order at:
And for updates: www.facebook.com/dustin.w.mills .
Lords of Chaos (On Demand) – Rory Culkin portrays Euronymous from the band Mayhem, who as a teenager wanted to change the music landscape, do something outside of the norm. He claimed to have come up with Norwegian Black Metal with his band Mayhem. The band gains a quick cult following but the lead singer commits suicide and things begin to get out of control when churches begin to burn in Norway. An interesting story about a boy wanting to do be different and what he did with his short life. If you were a metal fan you heard stories of the ‘black metal’ scene in Norway in the 90s. I give the black metal flick 3 stars.
Any comments or questions please send to email@example.com www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………
Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.
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