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From Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

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Santa Bloodbaths

 

 

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This year was pretty awesome. I want to say thanks and merry christmas to all the people who guest hosted and the fine folks we had the great opportunity to interview. That includes Jon Cross, Joe Garcia, Mike Haushalter, Josh Teeter, John Portanova, Steve Benningfield, Rodrigo Quast, Daniel Boyd, El DeBarge, Axl Kay, Moe Porne, Parker Bowman, Craig Everett Earl. Thanks to Ed Quillin for drawing some awesome stuff for us and the site. Al Magliochetti, And Anthony J Valbiro, Todd Jason Falcon Cook, and Jeff Burr for doing some great interviews with us. Thanks to all the people who wrote in and thanks for listening. And last but not least Thanks to Tim Gross for talking a bunch of poop every weekend. we will keep doing this for the next year, unless Tim dies when his bookshelf full of Full Moon flicks falls on him and he dies.

Gross Movie Reviews #307

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Gross Movie Reviews #307

 

By Tim Gross

 

Wake in Fright (VHS/YouTube) – Well here goes an odd film of sorts from Australia, 1971. The film stars a crazy drunken Donald Pleasance who believes he knows how to get through life for free but that’s just part of this dramatic serious film. John Grant is a teacher on vacation that seems unhappy with the state of his job and life mainly because in this time period teachers are bonded and need a thousand bucks to buy themselves out. During a layover waiting for the next train in a small and rough mining town, Mr. Grant takes in the sights along with the gambling and drinking. Days pass and Mr. Grant soon finds he is ready to shoot himself. Donald Pleasance is a highlight of this dramatic film but that story is far more interesting as it gives you a look of one teacher’s perceptive in 1971 Australia. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Raymond

Raymond Did It (DVD) – A Travis Legge independent film that revolves around two brothers. One brother, Bryce is your normal teenager, the other, Ray is mentally handicapped but the brothers hang together at all times or when mom says so. Well the brothers go out with Paige and Tammy and others to the park. Paige constantly gives Raymond a hard time until Bryce steps in and Tammy speaks up but a scuffle breaks out and Bryce falls into a tree and dies accidentally. Everyone except Tammy go in on a plan to blame Raymond. Six years have pass and all the friends are getting together at a party. Even Tammy goes who seems to be a recluse since the accident and it all takes place on the day Raymond escapes from authorities. Tammy still relives the tragic day as all her friends simply forgot about it as in their words “the re re deserved it”! Well guess what Raymond is pissed and wants revenge. We have death by washing machine (aka warshing machine if you live in Pittsburgh), very cool death by lawnmower, and we have a death of a dude where we see the aftermath of him lying on a shower curtain on the floor in blood with the shower curtain protecting the floor from all the fake blood. The independent film doesn’t go full slasher mode as Travis allows his talent to give the film some soul of not going down the same road slasher film fans are use too when watching such a flick. I love the gore, the direction of the film was brilliant, and filmmaker Travis Legge really made you feel for the characters of Tammy and Raymond. Like I said an independent slasher film with soul and as a horror movie fan I believe you can’t ask for much more. I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars and did I mention death by lawnmower was pretty fucking awesome? You can purchase the film and find out more at: https://www.facebook.com/RaymondDidIt and http://www.amazon.com/Raymond-Did-It/dp/B00B691NV4 .

 

Grave Halloween (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Another supported horror film on SyFy Channel that fails to be interesting as a college girl is haunted by dreams of her real mother and decides to travel where she committed suicide. Not only does she believe it will help her get past the suicide but allows her best friend to do a documentary on it. Oh yeah she died in a supposedly haunted forest in Japan. I just have that feeling if the film was done more in the vein of Asian cinema instead this American bastard version it would have been more interesting. I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Resident Evil: Retribution (DVD) – If the films before this didn’t prove it then this film made sure for the stupid people you understand that Paul W.S. Anderson has some weird fantasy of his wife fighting monsters and evil corporate types in slow motion all while wearing leather and sharing it to the world. Mr. Anderson I rather just see the sex tapes not this poor excuse for another sequel that just baffles me how Hollywood hasn’t wanted to remake this whole fucking franchise? And who is giving you the budget to film these things you call films? Outside of part three this film goes about its way of insulting any fan of the original scary ass video game series of the late 90s who may still be paying attention. I watched the film for free and feel I should get money back anyway. Do yourself a favor horror fans stop supporting, go watch the two animated features, and start email blasting Hollywood why Alexander Aja hasn’t got the call to remake this series yet? I give it crap because it is crap!

 

The Aftermath (VHS) – A lower budget, mutants, and three some years before ‘Def-Con 4’ is this sci-fi flick about two astronauts who come back to earth after a very long mission only to find we all fucking nuke each other. While trying to come to grips with the situation the astronauts try to make the best of it until they have a run in with a wannabe cult leader named Cutter played by Sid Haig who has his followers kill the men and keep the women and eventually kill the children when they get annoying. If you are able to lay your hands on a copy of the film it does have a couple interesting extras from the filmmakers and some from the Corman group talking about the film. I give the apocalypse sci-fi flick 2 stars.

 

Mr. Nice Guy (DVD) – Jackie Chan is just a cook… on a cooking show in Melbourne and gets mixed up with a reporter who just happens to film incriminating evidence against a crime boss. Soon Jackie is running through malls hitting people with food, jumping onto trucks, almost getting his nuts cut off by a band saw. A good Jackie Chan film but from one of his best films you need to see as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Saturday Morning Massacre (DVD) – A film that pretty much tries to make the Scooby-Doo gang a little older and at least admit they do drugs go to a mansion to investigate ghosts that have haunted the old place for years. If you get pass the complete Scooby-Doo rip-off you might enjoy the payoff in the end or just go get high and watch Scooby-Doo and Blair Witch Project on dual screens to get the same effect. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Cruising (DVD) – A very interesting crime thriller starring Al Pacino who is a young police officer who is given the chance to make detective. But he must go undercover for Paul Sorvino into New York’s dark underbelly of the gay community to find an unknown gay serial killer who keeps stacking up bodies around the city. The film does not go your typical route of normal cop thrillers as it has Pacino’s character really get involved into an unknown world of gay bars, hook-ups, etc. Pacino puts in a great performance as his character is even showing he has problems sexually with his girlfriend when he has exposed himself to so much he did not know about gay males. The film is smart, interesting (especially for its time of New York’s glory days and before HIV-positive), and leaves you wondering if Pacino’s character get the right guy? If you are the type film fanatic always looking for a different film, do yourself a favor and watch this flick as I got to thank Russ Rutter for this recommendation. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Have you purchased your copies of “Jagoff Massacre” to give out to the family? If not, you understand the old you would have already!

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Buy it at http://www.jagoffmassacre.com

jagoff

On a cold winter night in the Greenfield neighborhood of Pittsburgh, PA, two local drunks by the name of Chosky and Stutch run afoul of a group of inept satanists. As a chase ensues through Pittsburgh, blood will be shed! It’s time to Red up Pittsburgh!
Jagoff Massacre
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl-poWn4E2E

Gross Movie Reviews #303

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Gross Movie Reviews #303

 

By Tim Gross

 

More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead (DVD) – Another great documentary about a horror film that is a favorite of many horror fans. But this isn’t just any horror film the documentary covers… it’s the zombie film that changed everything about zombies. Just like 1968s ‘Night of the Living Dead’, ‘Return of the Living Dead’ caught everyone by surprise in the mid-80s by introducing zombies wanting brains, zombies talk, and be a new kind of entertainment. This documentary tracks down all who were involved and learns of how it all came together and how no one exactly knew that this zombie film would take the next step in zombie film evolution. A must see for all as I give it 4 stars.

Infinte Santa

Infinte Santa 8000 (DVD) – What once started as a webisodes project from Michael Neel and Greg Ansin after their awesome independent anthology ‘Drive-in Horrorshow’ has now become a feature length animated film after two long years of hard work. And I am here to say the hard work paid off in this beautiful animated feature that features a Robo Santa a world that is far into a war torn future! This is the type of film that makes me wonder if the filmmakers behind it reach into a horror fan’s dark soul and bring to life something of the likes of Robo Santa. The film has a great and entertaining beginning that sets the pace for you the viewer of knowing what your brain is about to witness as Robo Santa is facing off a full robot in a bootleg Thunderdome. And they are fighting for meat as meat is scarce and the new money with the world looking like one big wasteland straight out of a ‘Mad Max’ film. But as Santa goes back to the North Pole with his Robo reindeer he knows he is going back to the one person who still believes. And her name is Martha. Martha is what keeps the old man going. But there is some who want to take that away from him and the menace that wants to take the happiness away is the “Creator” who made Martha. The Creator sends an evil bunny with exploding peeps, monkey men, and mutations, even Martha clones to kill Santa and steal Martha away only to destroy her for good. It is a holiday classic of good versus evil in this animated feature that is complete chaotic fun! It is not only one of the best independent films of the year but I am glad to say one my favorite horror films in the past few years. The dedication of Michael Neel and all who are involved with Burnt Reindeer Films should be proud of their project that I would put up there with the likes of ‘Heavy Metal’, ‘Fire and Ice’. What sealed the deal on this great film was the quote from Robo Santa in the film, “Just how I like my mutants, ugly, crispy, and dead!” That is perfection for me. Horror movie fans if there is one horror film you buy this holiday season it must be “Infinite Santa 8000” or Robo Santa and myself are coming Mad Max style down your chimney and throwing you in the bootleg Thunderdome! I give the film 4 out of 4 stars and it can be found at www.midnightreleasing.com and more info about Greg and others can be found at www.infinitesanta.com . If you need more look for the intentional or unintentional video game Gauntlet scene during the big fight between Robo Santa and Creator’s minions.

Eureka (DVD) – An odd Rutger Hauer film from 1983 that also stars Gene Hackman, Ed Lauter, Mickey Rouke, Joe Pesci, and Joe Spinell! But what Rutger Hauer film isn’t a bit odd as most of his career choices always make you think. But Gene Hackman is a man who searched for gold for 15 years during the time of the gold rush finally finding after a very weird encounter with a woman who helps tell his future. Years later and Hackman’s character now owning an island and more money than can be printed finds himself feeling like his world is falling apart as Rutger Hauer is taking his daughter away, people want his island, and they want to kill him. Weird but a fun watch for Rutger Hauer fans as I give it 2 stars.

8213: Gacy House (DVD) – A found footage film about Ghost Hunters investigating a vacant home in March 2006. The home is supposed to be where Gacy’s old house was. They even say in the opening credits that the original home was destroyed in 1979 I believe and a new home was built there. But during the film during the so-called investigation the ghost hunters talk about the old house, wiring, etc. This is the type of film that just gives paranormal experts a bad name hell if I was a ghost hunter I would be insulted by this big piece of elephant shit! I give it 0 stars.

Ridge War

Ridge War Z (DVD) – An independent zombie film that takes entirely different approach but at the same time trying to cash in on the similar title of Brad Pitt’s project. A reporter tracks down three soldiers who survived a battle with zombies to protect a ridge and write a book on it. The filmmaker Alek Gearhart takes the approach of the reporter helping the soldiers get over the evil events that happened and to relive some of the horrible events to make their lives better and help him to write his book based on the events. The filmmaker dedicates the film to all veterans who were in a war as tries to use this dramatic approach to show how tough it can be for vets to live with the burden of war and the decisions made during the battles. It’s different, a little talky at times but I gotta give credit to the filmmaker doing something very different with the zombie genre. I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.braindamagefilms.com .

Amnesiac (DVD) – A foreign independent film that tries to outsmart the viewer by over thinking the plot and just confusing the shit out of me by the end of the film. The film begins with two sisters and the one’s boyfriend Thom going all ‘Witchboard’ with an Ouija board by doing a séance to contact a spirit. But as the three get more involved in the spirit’s world as things go weird to the point that the film becomes about the spirit who killed people in a past life but is now haunted by the people who were contacting him through the board… maybe? All I know this film my head hurt and it got boring as the filmmaker over thought the plot. I give the independent film 0 out of 4 stars and you can find it at www.midnightreleasing.com .

The Man with the Iron Fists (DVD) – A film that steals a bunch of random Asian Cinema and smashes it into a crazy action film to pimp RZA! It’s not bad, it’s not good, and it’s just one of those films that are a little too much over the top. I give it 2 stars.

Daisy Derkins, Dogsitter of the Damned! (DVD) – Daisy has just gotten a part time job being a dog sitter for a very strange dude in a black robe. But he gives Daisy permission to do pretty much anything she wants as long as she keeps an eye out for the dog. Bad move Ex-Lax! Daisy invites two friends over who want to get Daisy high and drunk and bullshit about the guy who is stalking her after one date. Once they are about to enter the point of no return in drunken terms Daisy hears a voice or laughter, causing the friends to call paranormal expert/pinup model Delia to find the issue and film it for her cable access show. If that wasn’t enough to scare Daisy her stalker comes to the house to sing to her, a witch begins to fuck with them, and a serial killer who looks like a bootleg combo of Dimebag Darryl and John Carl Buechler killing everyone in the house, and we have a wendigo that tries to rape the paranormal expert/pinup model. This all happens just because the strange dude parties with a Mexican wrestler and just needed to feed his dog the Dogsitter. Big boobs, blood, woman with tattoos and a Mexican wrestler… I was entertained. I give the independent flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

You can purchase my latest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Episode 86 is up and its a drunken fun mess!

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This week Tim and Kyle are joined by Rodrigo Quast and the always spicy T-Shirt Joe in an effort to quell race relations, and stop the oncoming swarm of racial riots that are sure to plague this great land.  What happened, however, was we just sat around and talked about great movies… and stuff.  Nothing got solved.  But, we are sure that you will like our roundtable discussion on such things as conventions, big Hollywood destroying the drive in’s and mom and pop theaters across our nation, and what the next fads are.  And along the way we got drunk.  So grab an adult beverage and chug-a-lug along with us as we have our first ever drunken roundtable.  Ya damned alkies….

http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

 

EPISODE 86

Gross Movie Reviews #300

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Gross Movie Reviews #300

 

By Tim Gross

 Bleed

Bleed (DVD) – A film that was released in 2002 under the Shadow Films label aka Full Moon Pictures that stars the beyond talented Debbie Rochon as a woman named Maddy who is the new girl in the office after a tragic murder of one its members recently happened. Soon Maddy becomes a suspect of other office workers being murdered after she is told a fake story of “The Murder Club” where each member works its way up to murder in order to be part of this exclusive club. The film seems like a cut and dry modern slasher but has enough twists and turns to keep even the most hardcore horror fan interested in this low budget fare. What also makes the film fun to watch are cameos by Brinke Stevens and Lloyd Kaufman playing Maddy’s parents when they were younger! Awesome shit! It is very rare to see Mr. Kaufman in a straight role, as many times you catch him in a very low budget independent film, “insert title here” being himself and pumping up the film and Troma for 30 seconds. Plus, it’s cool to see most likely the office used is the Full Moon offices as you can clearly see ‘Curse of Puppet Master’ and a ‘Parasite’ poster in the hallway among many others. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Witchouse (DVD) – Directed by David Decoteau in 1999 is not a mere ‘Night of the Demons’ throw away but more of a fun horror romp that may have taken a cue or two from Tinney’s masterpiece on a much smaller budget. The supposedly creepy college girl Elizabeth has invited friends to a party that just happens to be a ritual she is performing to bring back an evil witch named Lilith. The friends soon learned they are not just there to get drunk and bang like bunny rabbits. They are all decedents of those who burned Lilith at the stake. A cool alternate horror film pick when looking for films to watch on a rainy weekend. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Witchouse 2: Blood Coven (DVD) – A year after the first film, J.R. Bookwalter directed this sequel that was hugely influenced by ‘Blair Witch Project’ that was white hot at the time. An old house is being destroyed to make room for a new shopping mall and some remains have been found on the property. Some college students and their professor are invited to the site to investigate and soon find out that remains may belong to a famous witch named Lilith and her friends or coven. When trying to get a DNA sample the professor cuts herself and almost instantly becomes possessed by the spirit of the evil witch and begins her killing spree. Not a great follow up but has a couple highlights: Jeff Burr appearance as a man on the street asked about witches and Andrew Prine as a man who is a witch hunter. Prine’s character explains the town made a pact with Lilith and her coven hundreds of years ago when a plague hit. And now they are back to start their coven again. I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Witchouse 3: Demon Fire (DVD) – This film was again filmed a year later and by J.R. Bookwalter also where this time Bookwalter and crew take a totally different approach to the Lilith witch legend and throws in a good cast in Debbie Rochon, Tina Krause, Brinke Stevens, and Tanya Dempsey for good measure. This may the best of the three films as Debbie Rochon and best friend played by Tina Krause are making a documentary about witches and witch related things and to see if witchcraft is real? Debbie’s sister played by Tanya Dempsey has a falling out with her boyfriend and they all decide to do a séance, coven circle, whatever you wanna call it as Debbie’s character wants it for her documentary. She reads from a fake book of spells and says a few lines but a pissed off Lilith played by Brinke Stevens shows up and has plans of her own. Weird shit continues to happen to the three women after the weird event and keeps you the viewer on your toes of whether Lilith actually exists or not. Great low budget flick worth rewatching again as I give 3 stars.

Goobers

Goobers! (DVD) – The film was originally released in 1997 as ‘Mystery Monsters’ where Charles Band began a line of kid’s films in the 90s when things at Full Moon was going great. The film was recently rereleased under a new name ‘Goobers!’ Apparently, the drunk Happ Abby from the ‘Trancers’ films plays an asshole Cap’n Mike in a kid’s puppet show where the three puppets move around like they have a life of its own? Cap’n Mike went to a different dimension which is not explained and steals these monsters, goobers, puppets… whatever you wanna call them off of an evil woman that will stop at nothing to imprison them again. The evil woman is known as Executive Producer Mara. It’s a kid’s film so keep that in mind when watching it. A new kid is on set and has yet to hit puberty because when they do Cap’n Mike gets rid of them. But this new kid is very curious about the supernatural monsters and learns they are being kept against their will and vows to help them. A great flick for hardcore Full Moon fans to seek out. I give it 3 stars.

 

Shandar the Shrunken City (DVD) – Another Full Moon film that is now under Charles Band’s Moonbeam Films label and was released under a different title in 1998 “The Shrunken City”. Two kids named George and Lori go searching around a construction site where George believes he found something cool there. When they go searching they just happen to find a shrunken city in a globe that just so happens to have live people in it that have been sleeping for the last 26,000 years and on the run from some assassins called the OOD! But years ago the bootleg ‘Krull’ creatures aka robot extras from ‘Dollman’ aka used monster masks from Full Moon’s ‘Oblivion’ found the peaceful city of Shandar and tried to destroy it. In hopes of a better future the inhabitants decided to shrink the city and were not able to be found until now. With the power source lost and the OOD hot the trail of Shandar it is up to George and Lori to save them from the OOD and find the power source so the city expands to its original size and destroy their small town. I give the kid’s flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Night at the Magic Museum (DVD) – Another Full Moon film that has been rereleased recently that was originally called, ‘Mystery Museum’ in 1999. The story begins in 1632 where a sorcerer imprisons some evil dudes in a painting as they were about to destroy a village for the “Jewel of Polaris”. Hundreds of years later the painting just happens to be in a museum where a young lady named Kim works at and she just happens to have her younger brother Ben with her and during a stormy night at the museum lightning opens a portal between the painting and our world sending them to 1632. Ben and Kim need the help of their little sister back in present time and some help from the villagers to make sure the evil dudes don’t kill them before they find the “Jewel of Polaris”. Not as good as the other Moonbeam Film releases but if you are going to have a Full Moon film weekend you got to include the ones most people don’t know about as I give this film 1 ½ stars.

 

Decadent Evil (DVD) – A disappointing horror film starring Phil Fondacaro as Ivan the vampire hunter who tracks down a lady head vamp named Morella to a strip club called, “Visions”. The strippers are all vamps and use the club to feed and help Morella get 10000 souls. If she accomplishes this goal she can become immortal. The film is 65 minutes long and between the flashbacks of the film ‘Vampire Journals’ and random footage of strippers, and credits you may have 30 minutes of an actual horror movie. Not even the cool puppet named Marvin that just so happens to be the father of Ivan the vampire hunter will keep you interested in this mess! I give the film 1 star.

 

Decadent Evil 2 (DVD) – The sequel to very disappointing vampire flick of the same name picks up a year or so later where the vamp stripper Sugar and her boyfriend are searching for a way to change Marvin back to normal. What makes the film insulting is Mr. Band gets a bootleg Phil Fondacaro aka Ricardo Gill to play an undead Ivan the vampire hunter who just happens to be carried around in a suitcase. Apparently, Sugar and her boyfriend find another strip club that just happens to have another head vamp going for 10000 souls. Honestly, this film is crap and that is the best way to say it. I give it 1 star.

dangerous-worry-dolls

Dangerous Worry Dolls (DVD) – A Full Moon film that is about a woman named Eva who is in a women’s detention center and just trying to do her time and get out and starting over. Of course the long term inmates have taken a liking to Eva and trying to force her to be their drug mule, plus she has been harassed by a coked up security officer. But Eva’s daughter during visiting day gives her a present: Worry Dolls. Supposedly the legend is you put the small figures under your pillow at night and they take all your worries away. Eva does this that night and feels 100% better the next day. But Eva doesn’t understand she is becoming possessed by the Worry Dolls that make her break a woman’s arm in three places and wants to start trouble for those who made her life miserable inside the detention center. Or as I like to describe this film: Charles Band remakes ‘Reform School Girls’! I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Gangsters, Guns, and Zombies (DVD) – A UK zombie film that revolves five thugs who just happen to rob a bank when a zombie apocalypse breaks out and we have running zombies everywhere. Most of the film is spent with the thugs mostly driving a countryside looking for a safe house and getting attacked by zombies every time they make a stop. Nothing new happens in the film but have a feeling zombie fans will be more than happy to add another sub-par zombie film to their collections as I give it 1 ½ stars.

World Gone Wild

World Gone Wild (VHS) – Another little known late 80s film that is set in 2087 and apparently Bruce Dern and Catherine Mary (Night of the Comet fame) Stewart help a small village called “Lost Wells” go 75 years after the major war started and almost wiped out humanity. With a new threat of a man who brainwashes young men into his religion and tries to seek more in the wastelands, Dern decides it is time to go the ruins called the city in order to find an old friend in Michael Pare to help him save his peaceful village. Another film that makes you wonder who in Hollywood actually knows what they are doing as another cool film with a little help would most likely have found its audience in 1988. I give the apocalyptic flick 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

You can purchase my latest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

One more thing… Don’t forget Jagoff Massacre is coming September 20th, 2013 at Horror Realm. Stay tuned for details at https://www.facebook.com/JagoffMassacre !!!

Gross Movie Reviews #299

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Gross Movie Reviews #299

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Island of Dr. Moreau (DVD/Remake) – This is the film adaption from 1977 starring Burt Lancaster as Dr. Moreau. Now, it’s not exactly the best film but it is better than that abomination that starred Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer in the 90s. Plus, I always had a soft spot in my heart for this one just because I liked the creatures in it. You know the story a man (Michael York) is shipwrecked on an island where its dwellers or neither exactly man or beast except for Dr. Moreau, his bodyguard, and a beautiful woman played by Barbara Carrera who you are not entirely sure if she is completely human? The half beast half human creatures which look awesome for 1977 have rules that have been taught by Dr. Moreau who isolated himself from the world since no one understands his genetic research. The film is a little dated but still carries the message of “if you play god, you are bound to get fucking lynched by your creations”… Like I said cool creatures, story never gets old, and Val Kilmer is nowhere to be seen. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

The Vagrant (DVD) – A little known film from the late 80s that stars Bill Paxton as up and coming preppie guy who buys a house and has big plans. Problem is Paxton’s character doesn’t know about the disfigured hobo that breaks into his house to eat shit out of his sink. Paxton’s character starts to get so freaked out by the experience not only does he begin to sleep walk, he dreams of the bum played by genre vet Marshall Bell fucking with him And eventually trying to kill him. While Paxton’s girlfriend leaves him, Michael Ironside head detective doesn’t believe his story of the psychotic bum, and his best friend starting to believe his friend is crazy, Paxton gets a shitload of security installed to his home and becomes super obsessed with the hobo! A great “WTF” film that was mostly overlooked at the time for the mere reason that  you can’t really put in a category of what it is except for its weird and has a somewhat of a somber and unexciting ending. But do not let that stop you from seeking this hidden gem out and enjoying it for what it is… entertaining. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Warriors (DVD) – A film that became famous and influence quite a few films over the years about summit for all the gangs in New York to meet in the Bronx. The Warriors got to travel a long way as they are from Coney Island. Once there the man that has brought all the gangs together is killed and The Warriors are wrongly blamed for the murder. Now it’s up to The Warriors to protect themselves not only from police but up to 20,000 other gang members out for their heads and might be their last fight if they don’t make it back to Coney Island. With their leader killed during the commotion, it’s up to Swan to get his gang back home. Along the way you have a radio DJ that narrates the film without narrating as she keeps score as The Warriors blow up cars, bust heads, and knock down some police officers to make their way home. A fun film that sums up late 70s New York and still hasn’t lost its edge when watching it over 30 years later. I give the film 4 stars.

Vengeance

Vengeance is a 44. Magnum (DVD) – As always the hardest working independent filmmaker Robert Elkins never rests as he releases his latest feature film that goes away from the horror genre where he seemed so comfortable with. This time around he gives us more of a grindhouse independent revenge flick. The film follows a character named Christi, a prostitute who owes money to a wannabe thug mobster who sends his underlings after her and threatening her life. Christi of course tries to make a run for it and along the way runs into a young woman from Farmville who was duped by a fake talent agency and was mugged shortly after. Once the underlings catch up with Christi and kill the girl from Farmville they torture Christi and cut out her tongue (which looked awesome). But before they can finish off Christi, a wheelchair bound war vet saves her and eventually trains her for her revenge against the thugs. I have loved Robert Elkins films over the years and feel he is a great independent filmmaker. But I feel this film has just been done one too many times and feel he decided to do this project a little too late. After last year’s “Revenge is Her Middle Name”, it seemed like the independent filmmaking world was changing again and leaving the grindhouse-style flick behind. But what else didn’t help was I felt the film ran too long and the girl from Farmville angle took up too much time to only have her killed off. It felt random and did not fit into the plot? I did enjoy the tongue cutting scene and enjoyed seeing the camera in the reflection of the hair dryer of the bus stop bathroom intentional or not. I don’t deny the passion of Robert Elkins I just feel his better work is in horror not grindhouse/exploitation. I give the film 2 out of 4 stars. You can find out more at https://www.facebook.com/VengeanceIsA44Magnum and   https://www.facebook.com/robert.elkins.5?fref=ts .

 

Evil Dead (DVD/Remake) – Yes folks, I did finally convince myself to sit down and watch this film. Being a big fan of the original three films it took me awhile to convince myself to watch it. Hell, I honestly thought it would never be remade! But when it became reality I watched the trailers and really thought the film looked creepy as hell. But once finished with watching the film I wasn’t so much disappointed as much as ‘ok’… Don’t get me wrong it is one of the gorier mainstream horror films in recent years but there was no creepiness in the film that I felt with the trailers. And we are talking I was gonna act like the movie never exist but I gave it a chance. The twitchy possessed people just didn’t give it that familiar feel of the original and felt at times the filmmaker tried to do too much like Raimi-style camerawork when there is only one person that can do that and that is Sam Raimi himself. For the most part it is like the original film but just felt like the soul of the original can never be recaptured. The film itself didn’t anger me at all. The film is ok, I was glad I got to watch it but my only problem with the film as I have said many times from the outset is I do not believe it will be memorable like the original but also gave me this horrible feeling like Mr. Raimi and his two henchmen collected a paycheck and do not care what happens next? Now, that can be petty on my part, I will admit, but I am at the point that I may not want to see a part four any longer… If you liked it, more power to you. Only thing I ask of you is come find me in five or six years and let’s see if you still like as much as when you first seen it. I doubt you will. There is something about the original that just can’t be duplicated. I give the film 2 stars.

 

Blue Collar (YouTube) – A very much underrated film that concerns union relations and the common man working at a taxi plant in Detroit in 1977.  The film has an all-star cast in: Richard Pryor, Harvey Keitel, Yaphet Kotto, Cliff De Young, and Ed Begley Jr. And there is a lot drinking of Stroh’s throughout the film. Three men who seem to be best friends get an idea in their head that they can rob the union office for cash since all three seem to be broke and in need of money. They get the plan together and go one night and rob their union office only to find $600 and some change and a notebook. The notebook contains loans to Las Vegas at high interest rates. Things escalate from there as the three try to figure how to use this to their advantage. This film is brilliant as it starts off first as a comedy and then becomes a serious drama as it takes you inside of what it was like between unions, their members, and the big car making industry. This film shows Richard Pryor wasn’t this just one of the greatest comedians of all time but proved he could be a great actor if he wanted to be? I was surprised how cool and brilliant this film was as I have to give four stars.

 

2020: An American Nightmare (DVD) – I was warned this Travis Bowen directed independent film was bad but of course I didn’t listen and had to witness it for myself. Now, it helps even Mr. Bowen himself says, “it is bad” and knows his first feature in 2005 was filled many pitfalls and mistakes that he has learned from and continues to learn from in order to make better films as he has over the past several years since. The independent film has a great cast in Joe Estevez, Conrad Brooks, Lloyd Kaufman, Denise Duff, Dean Haglund, Amy Lynn Best, and Tom Tully. But the big mistake was blending these celebs from the convention scene and trying to blend it in with the film plot at hand and the plot is a strange infection has hit America and the president wants to move to Canada in order to lay waste to his own land in order to rid the world of the deadly virus. Aka a nuclear wave is coming… Like many independent films that use celebs at the conventions to pump up their cast and film, “sounds good on paper, but doesn’t translate well on the big screen or the straight-to-DVD” in this case. I give Mr. Bowen credit for thinking big and being passionate enough to make it, but also still having the balls to sell a bad film. Travis you earned my respect. And believe me your first film may be bad as many others are but remember I have seen a lot worse… “The Christmas Season Massacre” just to name one! I give the film a ½ star out of four just for having the balls to sell the film knowing you have done better with recent projects. If interested check out Mr. Bowen and company at www.eeriefrequency.com and https://www.facebook.com/travis.bowen.522?fref=ts .

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The Wild Hunt (DVD) – The film begins with this elaborate sequence of fantasy and mythology as a woman is brought into a village where many men scream and shriek with delight as she has been brought to their leader Murlagh, so he may ravage her. Great opening scene that makes it even that much better when it cuts to another sequence where a character named Magnus questions his king and challenges him to a duel for the crown and there you learn its “LARPERS” or “Larping”. People who enjoy what is called, “live-action-role-play”. You perhaps have a brother, a cousin; someone you know most likely has done this? Well filmmaker Alexandre Franchi for his first feature-length film takes you head first into the larping world. The film was mostly shot on location at a role-playing village built in Quebec. The story revolves around a young man named Erik who has just been left by his girlfriend Lyn to go larping and Erik is left in limbo trying to take care of his sick father. Once Lyn is off on her own adventure we learn Erik has an older brother named Magnus who hasn’t been around since their sick father has come home and is huge into larping. Erik keeps having nightmares of his ex-girlfriend Lyn and decides to run to the mountains and save her from the larping scene. The drama plays out as Erik struggles with Magus’s world he firmly believes in and finds a common goal of rescuing the princess aka Lyn and surprise attack the evil larpers aka Murlagh and friends. The brothers begin to find each other again and Magnus agrees to even visit dad but that is all over quick when Murlagh goes nutzoid and others decide they want their world to become all too real as they go on “The Wild Hunt”. Franchi brilliantly blends together the real world and larping and shows respect to those who enjoy it. He crafts a must see drama of when someone’s jealously goes a little too far. Not to mention the great subplots of Erik and Magnus’s father and Lyn: is she bi-polar, a whore, just a plain cunt? This film has some great layers to it that has an ending that many horror fans would applaud! I give the film 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

You can purchase my latest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

One more thing… Don’t forget Jagoff Massacre is coming September 20th, 2013 at Horror Realm. Stay tuned for details at https://www.facebook.com/JagoffMassacre !!!

Gross Movie Reviews #297

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Gross Movie Reviews #297

 

By Tim Gross

 

What They Say (Internet) – A short film from director Justin Romine that is about a young lady that seems to only find peace with life through cutting aka slicing yourself in certain areas to relive pain, etc. This young lady feels nothing is going right; no one listens, and is on the verge of wanting to just slice open someone’s neck. The film being a short film finds enough time to explain that her father may be the root of the problem. I give this cool dramatic short film 3 out of 4 stars and you can find out more about the filmmaker at www.fatheadfilms.net .

Down the Old Dirt Road (Internet) – In this Justin Romine short film a young couple’s car has broken down and walks to a farmhouse that just happens to be Leatherface’s cousins or something! If you are a fan of TCM you’ll enjoy this also as I give 3 out of 4 stars. Check out www.fatheadfilms.net for more info.

Dwelling (Internet) – Justin Romine shows us in this short film an affair that goes horribly wrong, like torture, murder kind of wrong… I give it 2 out of 4 stars. Check out for stuff from Mr. Romine at www.fatheadfilms.net .

One Afternoon (Internet) – A quite odd film from Justin Romine that comes off more like a test film or student film than anything as a man named Tommy likes a girl but decides it’s time to move on and leaves it up to you to decide what actually happened? I give the short film 1 ½ out of 4 stars and you can also find cool stuff at www.spookshowentertainment.com .

Fishing Amy (Internet) – Justin Romine gives us a short film Grindhouse-style about a woman who is simply tortured, escapes, and picked up on the side of the road by another man who just happens to know who she escaped from only to become fish bait! Apparently this was a part of the “48 Hour Film Project” one year and I liked it! I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Go check out and support Mr. Romine at www.fatheadfilms.net .

Blinky (YouTube) – Thanks to Bootleg Tim Gross aka Tim Wilder sent me a link to this flick that involves a not so futuristic toy robot that listens and performs every task it is given. Of course when a rich boy gets everything he wants and takes his anger out on the robot ‘Blinky’, the toy robot just simple does what the kid asks of it… Which for this short film is awesome! Because the only thing missing is Tom Selleck and Gene Simmons with the bullets that follow you! The short film is from a filmmaker named Ruari Robinson and I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Time Guardian (DVD) – A low budget sci-fi film from Australia that was made in 1987 starring Dean Stockwell simply known as ‘Boss’ who runs the last city of humans in the future of 4039. His problem happens to bootleg Krull creatures known as the ‘Jen-diki’ that are cyborgs from underground that want nothing more than to crush all humans. So Stockwell’s character convinces others in charge of the city to go back in time to get away from the Jen-diki and have Carrie Fisher and bootleg mercenary dude go to early 1988 and prepare the area for the city’s landing and warn the locals of what’s coming… It’s not a great movie by any means but it is entertaining as you can see Stockwell and Fisher must have done this movie to fulfill a contract for the studio and put lackluster effort into a hilarious mostly unknown sci-fi action flick. Its Australian and for that it at least gets 2 stars.

Blast Vegas (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Its Spring Break in Vegas and Frankie Muniz’s friends just happened to disturb an ancient evil god by using an ancient sword and stabbing the earth. Now according to legend sand snakes start fucking people up with sand including John Landis and Joe Dante after they attempt to steal the sword at the beginning of the film. Sand snakes, spring breakers dying left and right, buildings falling apart, there is only one man to save them all and its bootleg Wayne Newton in the form of Barry Bostwick who puts in his best performance since Project: Metalbeast! Enjoy the film for what it is because it is fucking hilarious as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Deadly Force

Deadly Force (VHS) – Its 1983 and Wings Hauser is a former LA cop who now does side work after being run out of Hollywood. But when he gets a call from an old friend after his granddaughter is killed by a serial killer, it’s time to return to a city full of people who don’t like you including his wife who still wants him to sign the divorce papers. The serial killer seems to be killing at random until Mr. Hauser finds a connection to the killings with a prostitute. If you are looking for a fun random unknown 80s action film you will be entertained with this action packed choice as I give it 3 stars.

We Are What We Are (DVD) – A subtitled film about a family of cannibals in Mexico. After the father of the family dies, the siblings begin to panic as they believe mother is just going to let them all starve and die. The film starts off slow and takes some time to build the storyline but as it progresses and becomes even more interesting as the brothers and sister question why they are different with no answer from their mother but still tries to right the right person that be eaten by them. This cannibal film is more story driven and may scare off the ADD horror person but stick it out as the climax of the film makes it all worth it as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Last Stand (DVD) – Yeah bad ass ARNOLD maybe old, but the mother fucker still picks awesome fucking movies as this action flick has him playing a sheriff named Ray, in a small town in Arizona right outside the border of Mexico. Most of the town as gone away to watch the high school football team, meanwhile one of the most wanted drug lord cartel leaders has escaped FBI custody  and is speeding toward the small town in order to cross the border without issues. Ray gets wind of this when a local farmer (Harry Dean Stanton) is murdered and needs to deputize Johnny Knoxville and a drunken war vet to help stop this criminal from driving through his town. The gun fights are brutal, the car scenes are crazy and stunt filled, and ARNOLD plays his age and pulls off another great performance in a memorable action flick you will want to watch dozens of times. I give it 4 stars.

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In the Shadow of Kilimanjaro (VHS) – A 1986 film that was based on a true story of 90,000 baboons in Africa during a ferocious drought of 1984 viciously attacked animals and humans. John Rhys-Davies is a man who is working on a mine that is suffering because the lack of rain. He is always at odds with the local wildlife expert who just wants to pounce on him if a wrong move happens to effect wildlife. Little do they know crazed baboons are fucking power workers, food trucks, a poor dude just trying to change his tire and he gets eaten inside of his truck? This film has some wonderful stock footage of stampeding baboons and you know if this film was made today the scenes with the baboons would have been all CG’d. It is a great 80s killer monkey movie that deserves a watch and a the special DVD treatment. I give the flick 3 stars.

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

You can purchase my latest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.