Gross Movie Reviews #442

Posted on July 2, 2018 by grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #442

Rampage (On Demand) – Dwayne ‘The Rock” Johnson stars in the video game adaption film that most people have forgotten that it was a video game from the late 80s. A government experiment goes wrong in space and causes a scientist to try to escape with canisters from their experiment but the escape pod blows up on reentry sending the canisters around Earth. When they open it causes mutations in an ape, a gator, and a wolf that terrorize everybody just to get to Chicago because they are being drawn there by a beacon that is now in their DNA. The Rock is an ape specialist that has been teaching George sign language and other things. So once the ape mutates The Rock struggles to explain to people George is a good ape, it’s the experimental stuff that is causing him to grow and go crazy. The CGI isn’t the best but people we got three giant monsters terrorizing a city and eating people so count me in every time as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Cargo (On Demand) – So I was told I needed to see this Netflix zombie flick? So I sat down and watched this Australian zombie flick that centers around at first a married couple with a small child that is on a boat floating down a river to avoid zombie attacks. Unsure what their next move is as they are running out of food. They find boat wreckage and the wife gets bit when she goes back to the boat to investigate. So they make their way to land as she has only has 48 hours before changing. They are trying to get to find help for their child which during this the father also gets bitten and it becomes a journey across the outback to find a family to take care of the child. Like the zombie film “The Dead” that came out a few years back it is a different idea but goes through some quite boring periods. If you are a zombie aficionado you will still want to see this as I give it 1 ½ stars.

War for The Planet of the Apes (DVD) – 15 years after the flu began killing humans and the apes escaped to the woods it all led to this where Caesar is seen as a ghost. He has been on the move trying to help other apes and find a safe home where they no longer have to deal with the humans. Military has been looking for him for the past two years with no luck as the film picks up after the events of the last film. But as we come to find out this military army has gone rogue as the leader lost his son to looking for Caesar and the flu has mutated. It causes humans to lose speech. I enjoyed the story of this sequel as it seems to be a prequel to the original series of movies without being that. It was able to tell its own story, updated story but keep original movie fans like myself in the loop with this new telling of the story. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

Deadpool 2 (Theater) – So one of the funniest damn comic book movies got a sequel and it was still funny as hell. This time around Deadpool is depressed because his girl gets killed by some low life who tracked him down and he wasn’t able to save her. But a kid with the power of fire needs to be saving so Deadpool gets a team together to track down the kid and save the day. Problem is a bad ass from the future Cable is time traveling superhero who has come the future to kill the kid because he killed Cable’s family in the future. With that Deadpool and Cable spend most of the movie fighting each other too much to the point the kid makes friends with the Juggernaut to help him seek revenge against the man that called him, “an abomination”. This one does try to tame the jokes down just a little bit but the film is still a lot fun and glad to see this character grow now with a team. This franchise has an interesting future especially if Disney is now involved as I give the film 4 stars.

Tomb Raider (On Demand) – This reboot, remake, whatever yinz kids are calling this these days had my curiosity for the mere reason I liked the other two older flicks based on the popular video game. This film takes Lara Croft from a little bit of a different point of view where Lara isn’t the female Indiana Jones we all know. She is a woman who skipped college and struggles with the disappearance of her father the past several years. Forced to sign papers to take over everything she is given a key. This key happens to be a secret room where her father’s tomb is and she comes to find out her father has been living a double life. He got lost on an expedition looking for an evil Asian queen that could bring ruin to the world as we know it. So she investigates as she has always felt he is still alive? Finds herself in Hong Kong getting a boat and searching for an impossible island. In the end after finding her father and fighting an evil group of people called Trinity she has found her calling and is going to use her father’s riches to fight it. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

The Leech Woman (DVD) – A film from 1960 where a scientist is visited by an old woman who claims she is 140 years old. She has been able to live this long because of a magic powder her tribe in Africa has. But she is going back home to die but felt to tell this scientist and allow him to do tests to prove she is telling the truth. The scientist sees it as a chance to cash in and make his wife young again because he doesn’t like her anymore. So this scientist, his friend, and the wife travel to investigate this tribe and its beliefs. But it isn’t just powder from a plant; you have to kill someone and get brain fluid from a gland at the back of the neck and drink it. This is what keeps the tribes people so young if they desire? The wife loses her mind and becomes obsessed with how it works that she steals and brings it back to the states but she has to kill on a regular basis because the effects do not last long. Fun movie if you would be watching it in a drive-in otherwise a bit boring but still fun for nostalgia as I give it 2 stars.

The Dark Tower (DVD) – So I never read the books but still don’t quite understand how this could be crammed into 93 minutes. This time traveling film about the ‘man in black’ and ‘the gunslinger’ fighting over a boy with amazing psychic powers that could be used to destroy the tower and allow the demons in. The film comes off like a T.V. pilot for a new show on SyFy Channel and not sure if that is good or bad? But even without reading the books there just seems to be certain plot points that should have been fleshed out more? But hey whatever they usually screw up most Stephen King adaptions so it wasn’t a horrible time killing 90 minutes as I give it 2 stars.

Plague (DVD) – A lower budgeted zombie flick from Australia where the zombies have started eating people and a group of people have chosen to stay inside this shed. A fight breaks out and one of them dies and they split up. Then a stranger show up claiming to be friendly, has food, has a gun, and wants to just live happily until this all blows over. But when the husband has asthma attack the stranger takes advantage of the woman to help him out. The film should have just skipped to the end where everyone is just trying to fuck the other over to stay away from the zombies but instead tries to put together this boring ass flick. They don’t even feature much zombie action until the last few minutes of the film as I give it 0 stars.

Escape Plan 2: Hades (DVD) – Sly Stallone is back as Breslin as him and his associates are still trying to break out of the impossible prisons until a hostage is killed in the process. They let go the guy they believe is at fault and time goes by. Now they are being captured one by one and thrown into another impossible prison that houses criminals of all kinds that might be worth a lot to someone on the outside for the information they carry so the system has become for profit. A fun follow-up without Arnold, but some newcomers to the Breslin team that comes off like a combo of “The Expendables” and “Fortress 2”. To me that sounds awesome so keep making sequels as I give this 3 stars.

Corbin Nash (On Demand) – Malcolm McDowell is a blind man telling a story about a hard-nosed cop who had no family but is about to learn the truth about them. An old friend invites Rutger Hauer in for a couple minutes to explain to Corbin that his parents were monster hunters. Corbin not really believing in this sets his mind back on all the disappearances that keep happening and may have finally had a lead. The lead is two psychos who just happen to be vampires who capture Corbin so he could be used in some underground fighting ring to be either food or entertainment for these other vamps. Corbin gets turned into a vampire himself but uses it for good to find these two monsters and rip them a part. A fun horror flick that is like a comic book that has been done several times through the years. It’s enjoyable but doesn’t make me want to run out there and tell the world you should buy several copies as it seem to be missing something and it wasn’t just more Rutger Hauer. I give this comic bookish horror movie 2 ½ stars.

Primal Rage: The Legend of Oh-Mah (DVD) – No relation to the mad monkey film of 1989 as it’s about the Native American Bigfoot legend that lives in the deep woods. A couple driving down the road after a run in with drunken hunters at the gas station hit something in the road. They go check it out to see it’s a mutilated body so they call the cops but are attacked by something throwing rocks. Forced down the hill into the river the couple is now wet, far from their car, and not sure exactly where they are at or what happened. In the morning they begin their trek through the woods where they find the drunken hunters in hopes of using their radio or cell phone? But the creature that has been stalking them begins attacking them and brutalizing their bodies as this legendary creature wants the female. It’s up to the county sheriff to believe in his heritage to go help find this couple and kill this monstrous creature that is just protecting the woods? A good amount of gore and another take on the Bigfoot legend makes this a cool little horror flick for Bigfoot fans to check out as I give it 2 ½ stars. Before I forget Bigfoot/Oh-Mah is able to use an axe, knives, a JAVENLIN! They explain it sort of…

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details!

Gross Movie Reviews #441

Posted on June 27, 2018 by grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #441

The Jurassic Dead (DVD) – So how about a zombie T-Rex shows up 60 seconds in the flick and the chaos just goes from there. Dr. Borge wants this secret serum for his possible re-animated experiments. He pays for it, not makes it (like a Herbert West) and has plans for it. But first he must show it off for the college class he teaches! Gets in trouble, then fired, and immediately gets run down by an automobile. Some time passes and we the viewer are introduced to some misfit mercenaries and a car of college somethings driving out in the desert. At the same time a giant rock or two hits Earth and causes an EMP and shuts down everything. This forces both groups on foot and eventually to a secret bunker where Dr. Borge has continued his experiments and plans for world domination through ‘Zombie T-Rexes’! We get a Duke Nuk’em joke and blood and chaos ensues as everybody runs for their lives when the Zombie T-Rex begins eating everyone or at least biting them. The movie spent all its money on the end credits and the cool T-Rex puppet. The movie is completely hilarious and has no business being as good as it was. It’s just one of those weird, hilarious, entertaining horror flicks that just can’t be explained but just witnessed as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Evil Within (DVD) – Here is a wicked downer of a horror flick that stars the legend Michael Berryman, the beautiful and talented Dina Meyer, and one of the “Boondock Saints” dudes aka Sean Patrick Flanery. The film revolves around a mentally challenged person named Dennis who has trouble with change or things out of place or just with his brother. Dennis’ brother played by Boondock Saint Dude brings in an antique mirror thinking one, Dennis will like it and two, it will increase the value of the house he is going to try and sell. Of course this interrupts Dennis’ life and he is pissed until a demon in the form of Michael Berryman that changes himself into Dennis’ image begins to speak with him. So Dennis begins to have regular conversations with the mirror. The talks progress quickly asking Dennis to begin killing and the image will tell him how… But should Dennis do it? The evil image of Dennis explains “it is to fix his brain”. Pretty fucked shit from there as Dennis spirals into a serial killer but does it fix his brain in the end? I will leave that for you to see as this was a pretty dark fucked up flick and for that I give it 3 ½ stars.

Don’t Go In The House (DVD) – This creepy 1979 horror film has a character named Donnie who hears voices as an adult. The voices become louder shortly after his abusive mother dies who he cares for. Think “Psycho” with less personality. I don’t say that in a mean way but takes too long to exactly explain but you’ll understand after the flick. This of course sends Donnie into a descent of madness. But isn’t just any psycho madness, this is some deep dark fucked up interesting shit! Donnie decides it is time to go pick women after he has built a steel furnace in his mother’s house. He takes the women to the home and uses a flame thrower on them. Afterwards he sits them with mum to rot and have conversations with. Shit gets weird for Donnie as he tries to go out with his concerned work friend but things go wrong and he decides it’s time to burn everything! An amazing bat shit crazy thriller/horror flick worth your time horror movie friends as I give this hidden late 70s gem 3 ½ stars.

Dracula Untold (DVD) – So recently the now defunct ‘Dark Universe’ peaked my interest so I thought it was time to watch this turd. I am wrong this retelling of the Dracula story is not a turd at all and may have been an actual great set up for the ‘Dark Universe’? Luke Evans stars as Vlad the Impaler we know and love. But his legendary and brutal war times are behind him. Vlad is a family man but his people are in trouble because he refuses to give up his kingdom’s 1000 children to the Turks. They test Vlad because they believe the Vlad they know and feared is in the past. But what they don’t know Vlad on a scouting trip in the woods decided to search atop of a mountain and found an evil creature… a vampire. He goes back home to find out more believing this creature never existed but it does. Faced with no options, he heads back to the mountain to find the creature played by Charles Dance (or Brother Nupsie). Without fear Vlad goes into the dark mountain and the creature is very intrigued with Vlad and makes him a deal. If Vlad is given powers of the vampire he has three days to not drink blood and the Charles Dance stays a vampire. If Vlad drinks human blood he forever becomes the vampire and Charles Dance is free again. Vlad uses these new found powers to destroy his enemies to help save his kingdom but in the end he loses everything and everyone dies, maybe? This film surprised me with its story telling because from trailers and word of mouth I was expecting a turd. But I was wrong and find myself still asking why did Universal stop trying to get this ‘Dark Universe’ off the ground? I give this flick 3 stars.

Don’t Look in the Cellar (DVD) – A very cheap looking movie where community college students are given an assignment. Their project is about the local asylum or the Midvale Asylum where a couple students disappeared there several years ago. So the students get together on Halloween to party in the old asylum which was someone’s house (no kidding) and to do research so they can debunk the urban myth. Once there they begin to die in boring ways by the two occupants who still live there. Now this was a turd as I give it 0 stars.

The Night Walker (DVD) – A William Castle flick from 1964 about a woman who dreams her dream man while she is married to a jealous blind man. But her husband dies in an explosion and suddenly lines between her dreams and reality become blurred to point she has to move out. But these dreams continue until husband’s lawyer comes to the rescue or so it seems as her husband faked his own death only to screw with his wife. A very twisted story of horror from the filmmaking legend as I give it 2 ½ stars.

School Night Massacre (DVD) – A 2005 independent Swedish flick that is also known as “Death Academy”. It begins with four students breaking into a school for fun only to be stalked and killed by a masked person. Ten years go by and students are given an assignment on serial killers. So four students decide to cover what happened at the school ten years earlier because the man (Niklas) that was put away in an asylum is being released today. The students want to get his side of the story because he claims the police got the wrong guy? Once they interview Niklas they convince him to help prove his innocence as they go to the school to get evidence against the principal. When the principal figures out this is all going down he locks down the school trapping them all inside with a masked killer. A good amount of bloody deaths and a switcheroo makes this Indy slasher a fun watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The New York Centerfold Massacre (VHS/DVD-R) – This 1985 film has a better backstory than the movie itself. Apparently all the master tapes for the film got screwed up and the film was supposed to be 55 minutes. But because of the screw up it is cut at 39 minutes and was only available on VHS by mail order. And by the looks of the film or seventh generation VHS/DVD-R copy I watched I would put this more 1982ish. The film is about some young ladies answering modeling ads that are disappearing. The police believe it is this Martino guy who just moved in the area who has tried to get young ladies into porn? But after a talk with a psychic and a story about a masked person in the Soho district the cops go take down the killer. A bit boring but worth the watch if you are a VHS buff as I give it 1 star.

Suicide Girls Must Die! (DVD) – So this been sitting at my house for a while and I knew there was a possibility I would regret watching this giant turd and I did. This god awful film has tatted up website models heading out to a remote cabin to do the calendar shoot. But on top of what they are all doing they decide they will film everything or stream it at all times… supposedly? They want a reality show for the website for fans to enjoy but once a couple girls go missing some of the others get worried. A couple will shoot pics of a topless girl while a couple others worry and stay at the remote cabin. In the end they did their version of “April Fool’s Day” which you see coming as the film began. But when your only plot of the film is to shoot pictures of topless women that isn’t a horror film as much as a bad soft-core film that just annoys so this flick is just a pile of crap that angered me. This turd needs to be buried deep to never be witnessed by anyone again.

Camp Massacre (DVD) – A rather recent flick that has Jim O’Rear starring and directing a horror flick about ‘Fat Camp’. The film stars Dick Warlock, Al Snow, and one of my favorite porn stars Bree Olson (disappointingly is only in the first four minutes of the film). So ten fat dudes are picked to go to this fat camp to lose weight for a reality TV show. The fat dude that loses the most weight at the end of the show wins a million dollars. Jim O’Rear is the TV host who is trying to get these dudes going but has a staff behind him to help everyone to stay on site. Problem is the fat dudes are being killed one by one by a person wearing an apron and a bucket on their head and oh yeah they have a fake machete. I enjoyed the concept of the film, loved Al Snow as fat camp security, enjoyed Bree Olson for the short time she was in it (yinz know she can actually act right?) But the 130 minute running time is what kills this possibly fun slasher film before it ever gets started. I would have loved to see this film edited down but otherwise I only give this film 1 star.

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details!

TERROR FILMS Presents Jon Bristol’s Puppet Horror Film HEAD!?

Posted on June 26, 2018 by grossmoviereviews

Los Angeles, CA (Tuesday, June 26th) – TERROR FILMS has managed to bring horror fans everything under the sun. Ghosts, demons, killers and creatures of all shapes and sizes have been shown by this distributor. Their newest acquisition is set for release on Friday the 13th (July 13th, 2018). This genre distributor will bring you the most risquee in puppet horror, Jon Bristol’s HEAD!

HEAD is everything you could want and more in a horror film. It’s an ode to 80’s horror flicks about a group of twenty-somethings on a camping trip. There are hot chicks, sex in tents, a serial killer chopping off heads and victims tied up in trees. What more could you ask for? Oh yeah – all of the characters are puppets!

Unlike the soon to be released Happy Time Murders, there are no signs of humans in HEAD, only puppets. Walking, talking, sex having, shit talking puppets – one by one, they are being murdered by a crazed killer. And as the tag line in the official poster and trailer for HEAD proclaims – “Ain’t Nothing Happy About Dead Puppets.”

The film has created quite a buzz on the film festival circuit. From the creative team at Elmwood Productions, HEAD has hit the festival scene back in 2015. HEAD started racking up official selections and multiple festival prizes over the next couple of years including appearances at: LEAFF, Yellow Fever Film Festival, Fantastic Horror Film Festival, Hong Kong Art House Film Festival, Legless Corpse Film Festival, Live Free or Die, Madhouse Movies, Manhattan Independent, Zed Fest, Fear NYC and the Horror Film Fest in Puerto Rico. HEAD has travelled the world.

This title was developed by a creative team of filmmakers. The film was directed by Jon Bristol, who also penned the script with J.R. Calvo and Brian Woodman. As well, the film was produced by Rick Passmore. And, the film features the voice talents of: Bristol, Manda Vasas, Nick Foreman, Mike Finland, Sally Arlette Garcia and Ben Farley. Chris Gierowski executive produced this feature.

Terror Films will launch the film on several Digital platforms. Platforms hosting the film’s launch include: Amazon Prime, iTunes, VUDU and Tubi TV. The release will be available in North America, as well as over 40 english speaking countries. Additional Digital platforms will follow, along with a DVD release, at a later date.

In the meantime, readers can check out the official trailer and poster for HEAD, along with a few fun stills here!

The official trailer for HEAD: https://youtu.be/kzo_NsU6eD4

The film’s official website: http://head-horror.blogspot.com

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/headhorror/

For more information on TERROR FILMS, visit: www.terrorfilms.net

And here: www.facebook.com/TerrorFilmsLLC/

Gross Movie Reviews #440

Posted on June 18, 2018 by grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #440

The Mole People (DVD) – After an earthquake shakes things up for archeologists as they find an opening in some ruins that leads to a secret underground city. The city had been shut off from humanity for thousands of years after a similar earthquake and believes the daylight kills them. If that wasn’t enough they enslaved Mole creatures to do their bidding of digging up mushrooms. A fun 50s ‘Creature Feature’ well worth checking out again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Sandy Hook Lingerie Party Massacre (DVD) – Before you get on your soapbox to bitch about the title, the film was released in 2000 and that is about all I will do to defend this turd. Well maybe defend Debbie Rochon also but I am sure she may regret being a part of this project? A group of strippers decide it’s time for a vacation so they head to a beach house in the middle of a hurricane. And then just non-sense happens with Mr. Creepo. Before I forget Debbie Rochon plays part stripper/part psychic, it does make some kind of weird sense if you pay attention to the film? But bottom line ‘massacre film’ fans no one dies until an hour in and it’s pretty lame so for that I just give it a ½ star.

Paranoia Tapes (Vimeo/DVD) – A recent independent project where a man finds films, clips, random VHS tapes, of murders, interviews, confessions, etc. He uploads them to the internet in hopes of other people watching them and being just as scared as he is. The film comes off as some sort of ‘Found Footage’ film. But saying that I am not sure that is what the film can be classified as that? In an age of where kids now watch other people play video games on YouTube that is what this flick reminded me of. Right or wrong this movie is not meant for me as much as maybe the “Paranormal Activity” kids and for that I give it 1 out of 4 stars. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/paranoiatapes/?ref=br_rs

Paranoia Tapes 2: Press Play (Vimeo/DVD) – So the sequel picks up with several filmmakers contributing again to the project. But what makes this venture a little different is that it looks a little more polished. But again movie clips, possible real footage, police footage, you be the judge is being uploaded to the internet by a guy named Chase. Chase is going somewhat insane because there is this Henry dude that keeps sending him these videos and clips. There is more violence, murder, but also it seems more of a coherent film that is like a blend of “Grave Encounters” and “V/H/S” on the low budget independent level. Again this type of project isn’t for me but easily can see the younger crowd really enjoying this film for what it really is. For that I give it 2 out 4 stars. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/PT2PRESSPLAY/

Siren (YouTube/DVD) – Another found footage flick from the same people who did “Paranoia Tapes” where a few years back some teenagers go missing in Kansas. They decide to do a film project for school over the holiday break that involves some kids supposedly living out in the woods. An urban myth of sorts, they want to debunk it if true interview them and get the story of why they are out there? They head to the woods to find the ‘Fender Children’. Goal is to get some footage, but a weird thing happens, and then when they are checking out the footage later and they are murdered. Most of it being filmed and the USB drive shows up at a police station a few months later. Feels like a blend of “The Blair Witch Project” and “Area 51” if you are a fan of ‘found footage’ flicks as I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/Southernsykosproductions/

Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection (DVD) – Another remake, reboot, re-whatever you wanna call this horseshit from the UK where they thought it was a good idea. There are zombies but also apparently the kids don’t care so they began to kill people also for fun. Another sad attempt to cash in on the title and the film company that released it should not be allowed to exist. ACTUALLY COME UP WITH YOUR OWN IDEAS AND STOP SUCKING! This is the kinda of crap that gives horror movies and legit filmmakers Indy or big budget a bad name. It is best you avoid and move on without ever watching this turd. Live this crap for me to witness and take the abuse as I give it 0 stars.

Bikini Party Massacre (DVD) – A little slasher film from 2002 with a little twist were you get to see lots of boobs! Six people head out to the woods for a weekend of fun and of course run out of gas. Of course the female version of ‘Crazy Ralph’ shows up to help out with the gas issue and the group to move on. After some partying, boobs, and weird dreams you learn there is a psycho among them. Weird thing is no of them exist except him… Weird and maybe a better film than it ever deserves to be but it was on my ‘massacre list’ so I was going to watch it as I give it 2 stars.

The Twilight People (DVD) – An early 70s Philippines flick that help start Pam Grier’s career that is like a cheaper “Island of Dr. Moreau”. The effects are not great but the passion for filmmaking is and this flick has a scientist kidnapping people to experiment on. Tis scientist is looking for the perfect human to test his theory of humans needing to evolve for what is coming in the future. Pam Grier as a ‘Panther Woman’, a weird dude as a winged mutant, there should have been six sequels to this flick especially with Corman’s company helping. I give it 3 stars.

Cyber Ninja (VHS) – A late 80’s Asian flick that pits Human Ninjas vs. Demon Robots or Mecha Ninjas. After the great wars a cyber-ninja is born from an experiment by the dark overlord who stole a great ninja’s soul to place in a Mecha Ninja and makes it an unstoppable warrior. Crazy special effects are the highlight of this ninja flick that also predates the “Power Rangers” and features ‘Voltron’ sound effects. The Mecha Ninja is torn on helping the humans but believes it is his only chance to regain his body again. The film is a fun crazy mess if you are a fan of stuff like “The Guyver”. ‘Cyber Ninja’ is a well worth find out there that I haven’t heard much about but after watching it I give it 3 stars.

Mad-Made Monster (DVD) – So right before “The Wolf Man” Lon Chaney Jr. did a flick where he is experimented on after an accident. He was on a bus with five other people that crashed and the other folks get electrocuted. He survives so a scientist comes to visit him asking if he wants to help with revelation. But his assistant has other plans to use Mr. Chaney as scapegoat to kill people after he turns him into an electrified zombie. Fun black and white horror crap that can be a lot of fun watching with friends. I give it 2 stars.

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (DVD) – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and his stepson follow a Jules Verne story to find an island where an old Michael Caine has discovered Atlantis. Problem of course the island is sinking back into the ocean and they must find Captain Nemo’s sub in order to survive the ordeal. Bad CGI, overacting by the Rock, and old Michael Caine makes it entertaining enough to get through the flick with my daughter so I can watch real crap. I give it 1 ½ stars.

Joel (Vimeo/DVD) – An independent flick that documents the murders of Joel Rifkin. A serial killer who in the Long Island area killed 17 people in a 3 ½ year period (1989-1993) and no one knew until he was pulled over with a dead body in the back of his truck. According to Joel not only was he a disappointment to his father because of his learning disability but was picked on by other kids. Joel became a loner and was a virgin until he was about to go to college. But that all changed when Joel understood you could pay for sex. Joel constantly blew through his money on hookers. But as that was happening Joel also fantasized about strangling a woman during the sex act. After he did it for the first time he became addicted to it but no one ever noticed because they were hookers. Yeah they made the news but Joel kept going until that faithful night he was caught all because of a license plate. He always believed he could get them to get in a stranger’s car? Never knew about this dude but now I do and the filmmaker did an amazing job of bringing this serial killer to film. And it is kinda creepy how much the actor actually looks like the real killer named Joel Rifkin. Great stuff for horror fans and true crime nuts as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info: http://www.joelthemovie.com .

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details!

Kyle finally watches Martin!

Posted on June 15, 2018 by grossmoviereviews

This week we return to talk about the new summer blockbuster SOLO, Kyle finally watches MARTIN for the first time, and Tim makes us watch a really bizarre flick in HELL SPA. Also we answer all your burning questions and share some funny stories and share some idle chit chat. Enjoy!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Finally!!! A new episode is up!

Posted on June 10, 2018 by grossmoviereviews

WE RETURN!!!! This week we cover the classic made for t.v Stephen King adaptation SALEM’S LOT. And Tim will be covering the Polonia Brothers fishsploitation flick RAZORTEETH. Also, we discover that Kyle may be racist cause he doesn’t like Black panther, Computer and internet woes, The horse-shit ghosthunter fad and the industry it has spawned. Old Bootleg toys. the litany of reasons why we cant make electronic computer stuff work, where the hell and what the hell we have been doing in the last 3 months. All this and the wonder that is J.J. ARMS!!!!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Jack Hunter’s Paranoia Tapes 2: PRESS PLAY

Posted on June 10, 2018 by grossmoviereviews

Jack Hunter’s Paranoia Tapes 2: PRESS PLAY

Directed By:
Jack Hunter, Steven Daemers, Stephen Gallen, Douglas A. Plomitallo, Jennifer Nangle and Brad Ryal

Southern Sykos Productions, LLC has done it again! Bringing the found footage fans a sequel to the multi-nominated and award winning film, Jack Hunter’s Paranoia Tapes.

PLOT DETAILS:

In this sequel to Jack Hunter’s PARANOIA TAPES, we join Chase to find the missing pieces of what went wrong in the events of the first film. Chase, who is another personality of Henry’s, decides to look at other Tapes that we’re hidden within Henry’s house. He desperately searches for answers and clues to find out who he is and if in fact, Chase is the real personality and that Henry was the psychotic one. With each tape that is played, we realize there is a bigger picture than what we realized. Featuring segments from all over the world including Belgium and Japan while also showing segments from several YouTubers who wanted to make third name in the independent found footage community. Each short was written and based on actual events. Some of the shorts shown are in fact, the real deal with no special effects or altered footage. This movie will make you forget about the first one and will make you want more from Jack Hunter and the team at Southern Sykos Productions.

Director and Creators Comments About This Film:

What I did for these two films is look at the comments and reviews of the first movie. A lot of the reviews stated that the quality sucked, due to acting and poor story-telling. So, what I did was, I sought out new filmmakers on YouTube; film-makers who had found-footage shorts and also I reached out through our companies instagram where I asked any film-maker if they would like to be part of an Anthology movie franchise. Most of them were obliged and said hell yes, and then some were, how can I say this, really diva-like and declined because they thought they were the next Steven Spielberg and John Carpenter or Wes Craven. Sometimes working with new film-makers they get an ego before they even start, and that’s okay I didn’t need that a part of my team anyways. But when I did find was great quality found-footage shorts that we can mix in with our wrap around story and actually makes sense. These are talented filmmakers from around the world and I couldn’t be more happier than to give them the boost and a chance of an opportunity to get their movie, that they made themselves , out there and into the world , for found-footage fans to see..

What Chad Clinton Freeman and I started, when we form Southern Sykos Productions, was a production company that reached out to new filmmakers and we wanted to give them a chance. At one point in time we all had a dream of being a filmmaker, and now we are professional filmmakers on an indie level and we are award-winning filmmakers at that. Buy me reaching out to new filmmakers and teenagers and filmmakers alike, I continue to bring out what we originally started. There was a dry time with southern Sykos, during the past year mainly due to disagreements within the company. But there are no hard feelings and I love every single one of my team members, and now we have these two movies coming out in early 2018 and then part 4 and part 5 coming out in late 2018 along with a two part spin-off called, Jack Hunter’s: RAAKAVEDOS 1 & 2, directed by Elmo Raution that deals with a team investigating a haunted house. It really is a suspenseful movie that will have subtitles and the language is Finnish, We can’t wait to put that out!

This is one of those movie franchises were we want to be the next Paranormal Activity, but better and with people who are motivated, not by money, but by the art of filmmaking. Hell ,I would love to be the next franchise like Jason or Freddy Krueger, we went to help filmmakers get out there we know there’s talent out there, we just have to find it and/or , they come to us, and with that being said we would love for new film-makers to contact us to get their shorts out there and Beyond a worldwide distributed movie. We aren’t fake filmmakers, we don’t talk about something for over 2 years and nothing happens, we do a thing, that is what southern Sykos Productions is, we are doers. We are very much active in the film-making business. Helping one another to achieve a final product is what we are all about. Pushing each other to be greater than we were. When we see potential, we try to grab it and launch it forward.

One thing about us that I am proud of and to say about every single person, that are involved, are filmmakers. We have a passion for film and we have a passion for horror and we also love Pop horror.com, but we are doing things that other film companies haven’t done. There are film companies out there that talk about having movies come out, that talk about scripts being written, that talk about new adventures on the up-rise, but what separates us from them, is that we actually do what we say. We’re tired of seeing people give us filmmakers a Bad Name, by going on several podcast out there and talking about a film or several films or hell even fan films and they go nowhere, we are building a reputation of being a solid production company and I believe with this website’s help, we will get there even further. When you talk about filmmaking to other people who say they’re filmmakers, you can kind of pick them out and see if there are a bunch of flakes or fakes. And we don’t need that with our company; we’ve had that run in several times with people that say they can do stuff, and they never show any effort or anything. But we are going to set the record straight and get our stuff out there because we are a good production company.

Our team members right now are , Walter C. Jones, Danny Field, Dustin Hubbard and Brad Ryal. Without these guys the company would be nothing it’s a team effort with everything that we do and I appreciate every single one of them and the dedication that they have shown this company over the past year we’re putting out for movies next year how many independent film companies can say they do that, this company would be nothing without them, we are one family one team one goal, filmmaking. And with an awesome graphic designer like Arturo Portillo(who is also an amazing film-maker) , we can’t go wrong! .

Also, one thing we are re-doing, is re-releasing Paranoia Tapes 1 as Paranoia Tapes 1.5: THE RE-EDIT. We literally looked at all the reviews of our first film and we are going to fix our mistakes with this re-edit. We are taking some things out and adding more segments to make the movie actually make sense to the audience.

Here are the titles for our next few features coming out this year by Southern Sykos Productions, LLC:

Paranoia Tapes 2: PRESS PLAY
Paranoia Tapes 1.5: THE RE-EDIT
Paranoia Tapes 3: REWIND
Paranoia Tapes: RAAKAVEDOS
Paranoia Tapes 4: FAST FORWARD
Paranoia Tapes: RAAKAVEDOS 2
Paranoia Tapes 5: WATCHERS

Gross Movie Reviews #439

Posted on June 6, 2018 by grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #439

Sorority Party Massacre (DVD) – The film has several all-star cameos (Kevin Sorbo, Ron Jeremy, Leslie Easterbrook, Richard Moll) and starts off like a “Scream” film so I was in. prestige sorority girls get together at a mansion in Grizzly Cove every year to try and win the Fawson grant. But what the beautiful young ladies don’t know is girls have been going missing over the past 30 years without anyone noticing. But a suspended big city detective heads out to Grizzly Cove to check up on the boss’ daughter and stumbles upon the several disappearances that have gone unnoticed. It’s up to the big city detective to put all the pieces of the crimes together. The movie starts off like a fun lower budget slasher flick but fails in the second half to keep me or any other horror movie fan interested as I give it 1 star.

Lake Placid: Legacy (SyFy Channel/DVD) – It’s been 25 years since the events that occurred with the big croc. Since then the Black Lake area has been fenced off like Area 51 and not on Google maps! But a team of Eco-activists who just did their last event is challenged by a feuding group of eco-activists to make their way to Black Lake. So they do and break into the fenced off area surprised by the calmness of what was a “toxic spill event” according to the government. Once there they see the place is abandoned but no toxic spill took place here. But once they find the abandoned lab and dead bodies something is amiss and still there? Eventually the team finds out scientists were there to play god by doing stem cell research with a giant croc that is loose roaming the quiet waters of Black Lake. The buildup is a lot of fun and there is some blood but the sequel fails to finish off a great concept for a sequel this far into the series. It is better than the last couple sequels but could have been so much better as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo (VHS/You Tube) – A fun TV movie from 1977 about poisonous spiders being shipped from Ecuador to the U.S. by Dr. Johnny Fever and Tom Atkins. These two guys get the idea of make big cash taking coffee beans from Ecuador and selling them for big cash in San Francisco. But as the coffee beans are being loaded spiders are also making their way onto the plane inside with the beans. To top it off the foreign military types won’t allow the pair to take off unless they have money so of course they let three people from Ecuador hitch a ride. They are the first ones to encounter the dangerous spider and the plane ride goes downhill from there. With nowhere to land they crash near a small orange picking community where shortly after they leak fuel and the plane is set ablaze. This causes the spiders to spread and attack the people of the small town. But the worst is yet to come when the spiders find the orange warehouse! If the people don’t find a way to get the spiders out safely, the big store won’t take the oranges and the town will go bankrupt. So after several deaths in the community the people figure out some kind of wasp can make the spiders freeze, immobilize, safe to pick up and get rid of… Hilarious as hell but a fun piece of TV movie history to watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

White Goods (You Tube) – An independent film out of the UK from White Raven Films where a group of people show up to a mansion for spirits, magic, and a psychic. But a dude named ‘Rio Tard’ finds a box hidden in the basement and doesn’t remember what happened afterward. Strange things begin to happen as people begin to die as Rio apparently unleashed a demon with finding the box. The demon is killing anyone that Rio knows including a fucking dryer eating a person (thank you The Mangler). With it being from another country sometimes for me it loses something in translation? It has the blood, weird humor, and a demon but not the killer instinct of a demon film to enjoy? Reason I bring up maybe this horror film is not for me but a certain audience. Anyway still glad I got to watch as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. You always get bonus points for appliances fucking people up. If anything great artwork for the DVD that will get horror fans interested. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/White-Goods-movie-978394265559408/

Meltdown (DVD) – A mid-90s Jet Li flick that some of you might know as “High Risk”. Jet Li’s character loses his family in a car bomb that he wasn’t able to defuse in time. A couple years later we see him as a bodyguard/stand-in for a drunken famous stunt man known as Frankie Lane. When an exhibition that has invited Frankie is taken over by terrorists Jet Li must fight his way in and save the day. Wall to wall martial arts action that will make you a fan of Jet Li’s work. Fun stuff folks as I give it 3 stars.

Werewolf in London (DVD) – An interesting Universal Picture where this was a precursor to 1941’s “The Wolf Man”. Apparently this flick came out in 1935 and people were not excited at all by it like “The Wolf Man” we all know and love. Plus this flick doesn’t follow all the werewolf movie myths we have come to know. Maybe this was the exception for the question in “The Monster Squad” about how to kill werewolf? Anyhow, a doctor is bitten in the forbidden mountains of Tibet while looking for a flower that only blooms in the moonlight. Goes back home and comes to find out he is changing and must go out at night to kill. But a competitor lets him in on a secret that the flower when in bloom can help the werewolf issue. Nowhere near as creepy and fun as “The Wolf Man” six years later but an interesting watch if you are a fan of the Universal Monsters and worth reading up on. I give it 2 stars.

Stephan Kora: A Monster from Irkutsk (DVD) – I have either found a new black metal band or Alex Wesley and Philip Brocklehurst have another crazy horror project straight out of Russia. A renowned author is forced to write a book about true crime, a serial killer named Stephan Kora to be exact. In order to write the book he must watch the films about Mr. Kora’s murders as Mr. Kora like to document everything. There isn’t enough alcohol in the world to help this author get through this task. Mr. Kora the serial killer was screwed from birth as his face was filled with tumors. This of course made everyone make fun and take advantage of Mr. Kora all of his young life until he decided to go his brutal killing spree. If you enjoy serial killer flicks or TV shows this will be a gory flick right up your alley as I give this short film 3 out of 4 stars. Need to find out more, track this dude down: https://www.facebook.com/philip.brocklehurst.9

Front Page (DVD) – So a local (Pittsburgh) filmmaker Michael Migliore has started to work on a few projects. This short film of his is about a common man named Wilbur who is obsessed with making the front page of the paper and getting from under his mother’s curse. But no matter how many people Wilbur slaughters in the dirty streets or behind a Dollar Tree of Pittsburgh he cannot get the front page. The front page belongs to an unknown killer who is leaving bloodless victims everywhere. Wilbur is so concentrated on his task doesn’t see the girl Alexis he just picked up will be his undoing. I enjoyed the short film concept but wasn’t thrilled with the casting choices but overall a short film to build on as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/michael.migliore.9

Alexis (DVD) – Bloodless bodies are showing up around the streets of Pittsburgh and the police have no answers. Is it the work of a serial killer or a vampire? According to some crazed religious freak on public access news channel it’s a vampire. The work the killer has done has been nicknamed “The Downtown Drainer”. Alexis, an athletic boxer on the verge of making the Olympics is upset with this as she has concealed her identity as a vampire for many years. The only person that knows about her and supports her is Alexis’ girlfriend Laura who just happens to be a doctor who is trying to figure out a better way for Alexis to feed or survive in the long run. But Alexis has pain from the hunger of blood and tries to pick people who deserve it? But after an incident and a person close to the pair is killed by Alexis they choose to move out in the sticks to try to lay low and look like the normal girl/girl couple making things work. But a shitload of hurt comes down when the local redneck asshole shows up drained of blood in an alley and the Christian mayor calls in vampire hunters. I enjoyed the concept of “Alexis” being expanded but this film could have been edited down, including cutting out the three-way sex scene, added more blood, and leaving out the vampire hunters. I just feel Michael Migliore may have overthought this film leaving it less desirable than the interesting concept short film he made called “Front Page”. For that I give the feature 1 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/michael.migliore.9

Sicario (DVD) – A female F.B.I. agent (Kate) who is a bad ass has just been pulled to be a part of a D.O.D. mission. She is to observe and understand what is coming. She is to observe a team of experts who plan to fight against the Mexican cartels who just happened to tunnel their way into Arizona recently. She has the chance to make an actual difference as there has been a change at the highest level of U.S. government to try to stop or at least counter the latest actions of the cartels. Josh Brolin is a free spirited man who believes Kate can learn and understand what the government is trying to do here with the cartels. But then she introduced to a mysterious man, a hitman played by Benicio Del Toro who is very calm in what he does and kind of looks out for Kate at first. A deal has been made, lines are now blurred, and there isn’t procedure any longer, as its war! And the hitman is here to restore order by any means needed. Alejandro, the hitman is a Columbian hitman that is here in the U.S. to restore order. When Kate disagrees she finds out the hard way this isn’t the F.B.I. any longer. With this latest flick I have seen Del Toro has just made it into ‘my top 5 actors I want in everything’. This action flick about the cartels does not wimp out as it is cold hearted and fucking awesome as I give it 4 stars.

Strange Shadows in an Empty Room (VHS) – A flick from Canada (the Italy of the North) surprised me. This mid-70s flick is about a hard-nosed detective named Tony who is pissed and wants answers after his sister dies of a strange death in front of friends. So Tony begins looking into her college life and knocking on doors and does not like what he is exactly finds. But it gets a little more complicated when bodies begin to pile up that may be connected to her death. A bad ass murder/mystery movie that has a scene where a dude holds a knife to an infant to hold off Tony in a hospital. The film is a little rough around the edges and a little dated but don’t let that stop you from enjoying this “Dirty Harry” clone to its fullest as I give it 3 stars.

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details!

Gross Movie Reviews #438

Posted on May 28, 2018 by grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #438

Happy Hour Holocaust 2: The Second Round (DVD) – One of my favorite independent filmmakers ‘Jim Roberts’ is back at it again with his crew. They recently finished up a sequel to their fun anthology film they released a couple years back. I have had this film sitting in my possession for almost two months. Jim wanted me to hold off because he had a little bit more editing left but I could not wait any longer as I am a huge fan of his work. And his crew that consists of his family and Jorge Delarosa are some of the coolest down to earth talented people you could ever meet. This new anthology of course expands the role of the bartender who does the wrap around story along with one of the best made movie openings I have ever witnessed. Great stuff guys! Wonderful music and effects blended together to set the mood of this independent feature. Our bartender has another three stories to tell: first was a reality show of drunken house flippers and what’s in the basement? Second is about mom and two brothers who have to take care of her. (Reviewed this short while back) Third is about a lonely dude out in the woods that seeks revenge for his dog. As usual Jim and family put together a tightly knit cast and film with some of the best special-effects you will see in an independent film on the east coast! A well-executed follow up film for the family as they never disappoint as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on the film or Jim: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004080845938

The Litch (DVD) – A hilarious film from independent filmmaker James Balsamo about a character named Vinnie who tells the story of accidentally awaken an undead demon wizard thing! James uses his talent to bring in some great cameo appearances to move the story along and keep it loose. Two of the cameos include Jeff Burr, Tom Sizemore and Elizabeth Daily. (Ms. Daily is a fave of mine just because of her work in the 80s.) Vinnie awakens the undead wizard thingy when he steals an expensive crystal from a crystal store. And according to Vinnie “that was the worst idea ever.” When he does it sets in motion events of “The Litch” possessing people in Vinnie’s life and their goal is to retrieve the crystal. If this happens “The Litch” is able to be THE RULER OF THE FOUR WORLDS! “The Litch” needs an army as he feeds on their souls. The film about a bumbling criminal and undead demon thingy is absolutely well-constructed, hilarious, and can see this having a few sequels in the future? And if anything else James did make sure you get to see lots of boobs. For that I give it 3 out of 4 stars and for more info on the film: http://www.acidbathproductions.com/

Quad-X: The Porn Movie Massacre (DVD) – First off if you are like me and have seen “The Porn Shoot Massacre” before you seen this film? Erase it from your mind right now damn it! This is a much better constructed and thought out horror film with shades of “Scream”. Quad-X porn company is about to have their biggest shoot ever. But a killer or killers are stalking and slashing their way through all the Quad-X’s famous pornstars. With lots of drama on the set between director, producers, and actors barely anyone notices people disappearing until local detectives get involved. But the movie must go on as they say in the industry! Instead of throwing lots of tits and ass at the screen for the viewer the filmmakers go in a different direction and give you a horror movie that doesn’t feel like a poor excuse to not call it porn? “The Porn Shoot Massacre” anyone? I really enjoyed the direction of this production, the selectively placed ads over the nudity, and of course the dildo drill to the head (it kind of resembles the Bob scene in “Gates of Hell” or “City of the Living Dead”). At first I was only going to give this flick 2 stars but as the days pass from first watching I have to give it 3 stars as I know I will be watching this film again. Thank you filmmakers understanding the difference between humor, horror, and porn…

Overdose: Death of a Punk Rocker (Blu-ray) – When looking at this movie the first thing that catches my eye is the tagline: “Punk’s not dead… But Brad is!” okay I am in. Brad Stanley is the lead singer of a band called ‘B-movie Nightmares’. His former band mate and best friend Brian is watching the news and sees this report of Brad dying of a heroin overdose. Brian at first in shock refuses to accept this fate. But thinks about it calmly and decides to go down the rabbit hole of finding out the real truth of Brad’s death because Brian refuses to believe there wasn’t something or somebody behind his death. This rabbit hole gives us hilarious stories of when ‘B-movie Nightmares’ were together, lots of dialogue on Brad wanting to join the “27 club” of famous people, music industry conspiracies, and why Brian quit the band. If you are a Kevin Smith fan you enjoy this entertaining dialogue driven film. By no means this is a horror movie but that doesn’t mean you cannot take a chance on watching a film from filmmaker D.J. Yarotsky and enjoying something pretty fucking interesting with great music. I give it 3 out of 4 stars and for more info: https://www.facebook.com/overdosefilm/

Freak in the Basement (DVD) – Another gory flick from Alex Wesley and Russia has made its way to me again where this film was a few years in the making. We meet a man named Nicholai. Nicholai visits a therapist to help him with his serious problem. Needs help, he needs someone to listen; he needs to stop killing people! But Nicholai begins to tell the story to the therapist of the monster in his basement. He comes in contact with creature after he tries to evict a tenant. The tenant is high or delusional but she wipes some weird stuff on his lips and Nicholai feels a high like no other before. Quickly becoming addicted to it and the creature possibly having telekinetic powers with him, he understands that the creature eats human flesh it secretes this snotty liquid/sweat which gets you high. This high cause Nicholai to go on a killing spree and then the movie gets real weird when the alien cyborg arrives to retrieve the creature to be a slave on another planet? Yes people I cannot make this entertaining shit up and love it when I see it on screen. Just when you think you have seen it all, you haven’t thanks to Alex Wesley and his independent filmmaking crew! I give this fun adventure into gore 3 out of 4 stars and for more info: https://www.facebook.com/groups/837731036372859/about/ and https://www.facebook.com/ShansHorrorFilms/

Swingers Massacre (VHS/YouTube) – The 1974 thriller is also known as “Inside Amy” for 70s film buffs. This cautionary tale of being into the “swinging” is about a lawyer who has been married for several years to a beautiful woman named Amy who is just happy with everything. But after Charlie hears a story about the lifestyle from one of his divorcee clients he is hell bent on trying this out with Amy whether she is into or not. Out of just wanting to please Charlie and his limp old wiener Amy goes along with the idea of going to a hip swingers club where they meet a few couples. One thing leads to another at a party afterward and Amy just happens to be the life of the party as males and female partners want “Inside Amy”. (Ha, ha, I couldn’t help myself as I wanted to laugh while writing this) Anyway Amy has a wonderful time and Charlie not so much. When they are calling back for the couple to come back for more parties Charlie’s reaction is “No!” and go on a killing spree of those who have and still want to bang Amy. A wonderful 70s film that I was unaware of and glad I now own a copy as I will be revisiting this again soon as I give it 3 stars.

Hell Spa (DVD) – A horrible but hilarious fun bad film to watch with friends is about Benson’s Health Spa which is closing due to all the new spiffy workout clubs that have sprung up. The failed business is closing its doors until a mysterious man named Mr. Ex comes by and offers her a one-time deal she cannot refuse. A few days later Benson’s Health Spa is up and running and looks better than it ever did. They even run a commercial saying “Look Beautiful and Stay Fit or Never Pay a Dime”. But things are not always what they seem as a local college paper investigates the resurgence in Benson’s Health Spa and their promotion. Plus they want to know more about the bad-looking 80s TV villain Mr. Ex and what’s his involvement since the new health spa is in every aspect of your life once you join with the new lifetime membership. But don’t worry folks this film doesn’t disappoint being the next film you need to own in your “bad movie collection” when a floppy disk saves all! Remember people film was made in 1990 and released in 1992 as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Death Wish (On Demand) – Finally the Eli Roth remake has made its way out there for all of us to witness, tear apart, or just complain it doesn’t have Chuck Bronson. In the times we live in the film has a whole entire different feel to it than the original from the early 70s. I believe that actually helps this film work as Mr. Kersey is played by Bruce Willis and is a doctor from Chicago in this film. When Kersey is called into surgery on his birthday, his wife and daughter get attacked in their home. His wife dies and daughter critically injured, Kersey is distraught with the lack of findings from the police. So just like the original Kersey takes it upon himself to track down the men that wronged his family. The movie isn’t going to make anyone’s best films of the year list but is too easy of a target for society to point too for several reasons. Instead I look at like this: This remake doesn’t bother me at all as it has a complete different feel to it just because what is happening in real life these days and I really didn’t feel anything for any of the characters. I believe Eli Roth did what he could with what was there as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Dude Bro Party Massacre 3 (DVD) – Thanks to “5 Second Films” and crowd funding this movie exists as it doesn’t just make fun of the slasher genre as much as points out the some funnier aspects of the lesser known slasher flicks. Plus they wanted to break the record for most kills on film. Brock belongs to a frat who has survived two massacres of a killer named “Motherface”. But he dies when seeing a therapist to talk about what happened. So his twin less appealing brother Brett sets off to pledge for the same frat and find out what really happened to his brother and find his killer. But the frat brothers are not sure to accept Brett or not as they go off to the cabin in the woods for the weekend where they killed the whole town with a flood. Once there the Motherface is back and slicing and dicing her way through the frat brothers in hopes of killing them off completely. And it is possible that Ronald Reagan is behind everything? Hilarious, check your brain at the door horror film that yeah most likely goes a few minutes longer than it should have. But still worth the watch as I give it 3 stars.