Gross Movie Reviews #458

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Gross Movie Reviews #458

 

The Happytime Murders (On Demand) – In a world where puppets and humans exist together a private eye who happens to be a puppet and a former cop gets a case from a sexy young lady puppet. The case isn’t open and shut as he likes as someone is killing all the puppets involved with a very popular kids show from the 90s. The private eye finds himself soon teamed up with his ex-partner, a human trying to solve the mystery of who is the killer? Lots of adult humor, the puppets looked great, and a cool buddy cop flick of sorts. This wasn’t as much as “Meet the Feebles” as I thought it would be so good for them. I didn’t love it and I didn’t hate it but worth at least a watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Upgrade (On Demand) – This should have been the “Robocop” remake! A mechanic named Grey rebuilds a classic Trans-Am in the near future for a super-rich computer whiz. After Grey and his wife begin driving home from dropping the car off they are in a bad car accident and his wife is killed by some thugs. Grey is paralyzed, but is given the chance to try an experimental computer chip that should restore all feeling back to his limbs and help him move again. Grey agrees and has implanted into his spine and STEM the computer chip almost works immediately. But Stem also thinks and talks for itself and decides to start talking Grey and help him find his wife’s killers. Grey unsure at first slowly allows STEM to show him he is quicker, smarter, better now. Grey uses his paralyzed status to track down all involved without being detected as a suspect. Once Grey goes down this wormhole with STEM there is very cool twists in the plot that make the movie a must rewatch several times. Plus I believe the plot hits on a nerve of this not too distant future could be very real sooner than we think? This action flick is absolutely amazing as I give it 4 stars.

 

Hotel Artemis (On Demand) – A weirdo flick set in the not so distant future of 2028 where Jodie Foster is a manager/doctor to a hotel or safe house for criminals. Criminals pay big bucks for these certain safe houses all over the world if by some chance they are injured in some way. If you do not have a membership you are thrown out on your ass. Foster’s character is a shut-in who has lots of anxiety and hasn’t the outside world in a couple decades. But it all goes to shit when the big boss comes to be fixed up and there is an assassin there inside the hotel to take him out. This flick is one of those check your brain at the door and just enjoy the entertainment. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

You Might be the Killer (DVD) – This is one those slasher flicks that doesn’t overthink the plot and just has a lot of fun with what it is. Sam is a good dude who once a year takes time away from his business and goes off the grid for a weekend. He goes to a camp with a bunch of friends and just has wholesome camp fun. But a big problem arises when he is calling his best friend Chuck (Alyson Hannigan) because he believes a psycho killer has killed all the campers and now is stalking him? They go through all the movie clichés until Sam remembers at some point the story about a cursed mask being at a dead tree was actually real and he put the mask on. When he has the mask on he is an unstoppable killer who slaughters his friends in many brutal ways. When the mask is off he doesn’t recall anything and believes he is being stalked also. I loved watching this bloody flick that never took itself serious and delivered the goods on just being a fun horror flick to watch as I give it 3 stars.

Commando Ninja (YouTube) – This absolute 4 star gem is from the mind Ben Combes. Ben decided to kickstart his love letter of a movie to 80s action movie genre. This film combines at least 20 different action film ideas into one movie. The film begins with a flashback of 1968 Vietnam where a recon team led by John Hunter is ambushed by ninjas with Predator vision. Then the story flashes forward to 1986 where John Hunter is approached by an old Green Beret vet to let him know the evil ninjas are back and John’s daughter gets kidnapped by these evil creatures. From there it flashes back and forth between 1968 and 1986 showing where John got his ninja training and how he tracks down the evil ninjas that took his daughter. But just when you thought it couldn’t get any more ridiculous he has to time travel to the future in 1998 to get her back. Before I forget there are also dinosaurs and cyborgs in this film and the Trans-am in 1998 like the one in “Smokey in the Bandit”. This is a must own for any 80s action film lover as it leaves no stone unturned bringing its brilliant story to life. I give this project 4 stars and a front runner for one of the best films I have watched in 2019.

 

Bigfoot Ate My Boyfriend (DVD) – The film opens of course stating that it was based on true events. Sheriff Bailey has a situation on her hands as bodies are piling up in the woods and news wants to know what is going on. So she calls in the only local Federal Bigfoot Investigator she knows to help her track it down and stop it. But a former child star Jimmy Johnson of ‘Kung-fu Kid’ has plans of his own of going into the woods and challenging Bigfoot to a fight and getting it on film. Thus the event should thrust him back into Hollywood stardom. A hilarious but bad film about a Bigfoot that growls like a poodle when attacking and I am damn glad to own it as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. More info on the film can be found at www.gatorbladefilms.com .

 

Project: Eugenics (DVD) – A bad end of the world zombie film with not many zombies and is to be continued at the end of the film. The premise is a corporation called Eugenics wants to experiment on millions of citizens to see if a zombie vaccine works and they get all the profit. I give it 1 star.

 

Over the Edge (DVD) – A 1979 film that was based on a true event involving unruly teenagers and a Midwest community in the mid-70s. With the cities becoming overrun with crime and drugs, many families began to move out to rural areas where communities where were being built for people trying to escape the city life. Or what would become known eventually as the suburbs. This community of New Granada is supposed to be a wonderful place for families but a lot of their population is teenagers with nothing to do except for one rec center for entertainment. When a piece of land is no longer going to be a drive-in and bowling alley and going to have office space built on it the young people get upset. On top of that a rogue cop closes down the rec center soon things get out of control between the young people, the adults, and the cop. The film is watchable and stars a young Matt Dillon but doesn’t really have a character you really connect or root for. There are several other films of the early 80s that make this formula work better on film as I give the cautious tale of “Parents talk to your kids” 2 stars.

 

Den of Thieves (On Demand) – A wild action/crime flick where a crew of bank robbers try to pull off one of the biggest heists of the century and must deal with a L.A. sheriff that doesn’t always play by the rules. The crew is led by a man named Merrimen who been imprisoned for the past decade and use that time to plan a heist at the Federal Bank Reserve. Meanwhile the sheriff played by Gerard Butler knows Merrimen has something planned but always seems to be one step behind. A way better heist flick than you would ever believe so give it a chance as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Category III: The Untold Story of Hong Kong Exploitation (DVD) – A wonderful documentary documenting how this rating came in existence in Hong Kong cinema and how it has changed after 1997. A good bit of Hong Kong’s popular films took advantage of this rating and produced some of the greatest over the top films the world ever seen. Its peak existence was between the years 1988-1997 and they explained what led to the rating being made and what happened to Hong Kong cinema after China took control again in 1997. Very interesting stories behind Hong Kong cinema and some of the titles I have watched or heard over the years while searching for movies in video stores. I give the documentary 3 ½ stars.

 

Nude Nuns with Big Guns (DVD) – The title says it all as there really isn’t much to the plot except nuns being made to make drugs for bikers who work for the Catholic Church. Then the drugs are sold everywhere. When Sister Sarah is pimped out and pumped full of drugs she is saved by a so-called witch doctor. Sister Sarah in the drugged out dreamland receives a message from god to kill all that are involved with the drug trade. So becomes the nun vigilante that cannot be stopped as she massacres everyone for what they did to her. Fun B-movie crap that has big boobs, bullets, and lots of blood as I give 2 ½ stars too.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

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TERROR FILMS Presents Jon Bristol’s Puppet Horror Film HEAD!?

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Los Angeles, CA (Tuesday, June 26th) – TERROR FILMS has managed to bring horror fans everything under the sun. Ghosts, demons, killers and creatures of all shapes and sizes have been shown by this distributor. Their newest acquisition is set for release on Friday the 13th (July 13th, 2018). This genre distributor will bring you the most risquee in puppet horror, Jon Bristol’s HEAD!

HEAD is everything you could want and more in a horror film. It’s an ode to 80’s horror flicks about a group of twenty-somethings on a camping trip. There are hot chicks, sex in tents, a serial killer chopping off heads and victims tied up in trees. What more could you ask for? Oh yeah – all of the characters are puppets!

 

Unlike the soon to be released Happy Time Murders, there are no signs of humans in HEAD, only puppets. Walking, talking, sex having, shit talking puppets – one by one, they are being murdered by a crazed killer. And as the tag line in the official poster and trailer for HEAD proclaims – “Ain’t Nothing Happy About Dead Puppets.”

 

The film has created quite a buzz on the film festival circuit. From the creative team at Elmwood Productions, HEAD has hit the festival scene back in 2015. HEAD started racking up official selections and multiple festival prizes over the next couple of years including appearances at: LEAFF, Yellow Fever Film Festival, Fantastic Horror Film Festival, Hong Kong Art House Film Festival, Legless Corpse Film Festival, Live Free or Die, Madhouse Movies, Manhattan Independent, Zed Fest, Fear NYC and the Horror Film Fest in Puerto Rico. HEAD has travelled the world.

 

This title was developed by a creative team of filmmakers. The film was directed by Jon Bristol, who also penned the script with J.R. Calvo and Brian Woodman. As well, the film was produced by Rick Passmore. And, the film features the voice talents of: Bristol, Manda Vasas, Nick Foreman, Mike Finland, Sally Arlette Garcia and Ben Farley.  Chris Gierowski executive produced this feature.

 

Terror Films will launch the film on several Digital platforms. Platforms hosting the film’s launch include: Amazon Prime, iTunes, VUDU and Tubi TV. The release will be available  in North America, as well as over 40 english speaking countries. Additional Digital platforms will follow, along with a DVD release, at a later date.

 

In the meantime, readers can check out the official trailer and poster for HEAD, along with a few fun stills here!

 

The official trailer for HEAD: https://youtu.be/kzo_NsU6eD4

 

The film’s official website:  http://head-horror.blogspot.com

 

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/headhorror/

 

For more information on TERROR FILMS, visit: www.terrorfilms.net

 

And here: www.facebook.com/TerrorFilmsLLC/

Official Release Date and Artwork Reveal for “DEAD ON APPRAISAL”

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Gory, puppet-filled horror anthology moves in on DVD and VOD this Spring!

 

Brain Damage Films will soon be listing Dead on Appraisal on the horror market starting with a major VOD release on March 1st, followed by an April 8th DVD release!  The DVD will feature behind-the-scenes featurettes, unseen trailers, and more.

Appraisal

 

About the Film
With its three insane stories, bucket loads of gore and goop, puppets and other props that would get Jim Henson hard, and colorful effects that beg to be seen on mind altering substances, Infested Films’ Dead On Appraisal is a diamond in the overcrowded horror anthology rough.

 

Produced in 2013 under the original title “Closing Costs,” the film consists of three short films tied together by the story of John Dante, a real estate agent who just can’t get rid of a seemingly cursed house.  Sean Canfield, Scott Dawson, and David Sherbrook share writer/director credits for “Father Land”, “Freddie and the Goblins”, and “The Morning After”, respectively.

Full Synopsis

Real estate agent John Dante is stuck with a house he can’t sell.  Despite his best efforts, he can’t seem to overcome the house’s macabre past.

 

This haunting anthology’s first tale is THE MORNING AFTER. Following the party of a lifetime, a group of friends wake to find a nightmare in the form of a killer bug invasion.

 

John is horrified to hear the story of Robbie, a young veteran who returns home to live with his father. In FATHER LAND Robbie’s dark secret slowly bubbles to the surface.

 

Then there’s Freddie Cooper and his band. FREDDIE AND THE GOBLINS is a tale of how Freddie’s band mates try to ditch him only to be caught up in the singer’s growing psychosis.

 

In a last ditch effort John’s girlfriend plans a party to help raise interest in the property, but with disastrous consequences. Will they survive the terrors that lie within its walls, or will they become just another of the house’s many sordid tales?

Official Trailer and More Information:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwW2ek4acVQ

http://braindamagefilms.com/dvd/horror/anthology/dead-on-appraisal/

https://www.facebook.com/deadonappraisal

 

Infested Films:

http://www.infestedfilms.com/

https://www.facebook.com/InfestedFilms