Gross Movie Reviews #306

By Tim Gross

Wrath of the Titans (DVD) – Years have passed since Perseus has fought the Kraken and people no longer believe in the great Greek gods. He now has a son and is trying to live a normal life of a fisherman. But when the God of War and the brother of Zeus decide to unleash hell on earth Zeus tries to lure Perseus out of his retirement to save what’s left of the gods and warns him what is imprisoned in Hates may destroy all human life. So Perseus with the help of the son of Poseidon go on a quest to save Zeus and humans alike. An entertaining popcorn flick but it will never be as much as the 1982 classic we all know and love as I give it 2 stars.

Blood of Redemption (DVD) – One of the newest action films starring Dolph Lundgren as a bodyguard for a mob boss and his youngest son. The mob boss is trying to keep his youngest out of the business and soon knows the oldest is trying to make a play on running his business. On top of that Dolph gets fucked over and disappears for a short time only to reappear for revenge and revenge only! Not the best of action plots but when the film also stars Vinnie Jones, Robert Davi, and Billy Zane you know I was going to watch it just out of curiosity. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Edge of Sanity (DVD) – Anthony Perkins does his impression of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in this 1989 sexually violent horror film that was lambasted by the MPAA even before its release. Perkins plays the good doctor who is on the verge of something big with his experiments with cocaine. But one night after a slight mishap with his experimental monkey the drug changes Perkins into a sexually charged murderer as bodies begin to pile up around London. The film has lost a little edge 25 years later because what some horror fans have had a chance to witness. The film was quickly buried after its VHS release and was hard to find an uncut version unless you were near the one or two ma and pa video stores that actually bought it. The film deserved a better fate than it had as Perkins cements his role as one of the scariest actors in all horror films with his performance. The film would make a great partner for fans who enjoy ‘A Clockwork Orange’ and looking for something just as bold… I give the film 3 stars.

Dredd (DVD) – Karl Urban reprises the legendary comic book movie role that Sly Stallone destroyed in the big budgeted flop years ago and brings it out of the ashes with its no nonsense back to what the character was and everyone enjoyed about it. Kick ass, in your face, violent action! I felt the film was cut a little short but was an excellent comeback for a franchise that never had the chance to get off the ground in the first place with great casting of Karl Urban. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

Anthropophagus (DVD) – The brutal Italian horror film from 1980 also known as ‘The Grim Reaper’ to some here in the states has had the special DVD treatment for horror fans to enjoy in all its baby chomping glory! The film is about friends traveling by boat to an island that seems to be abandoned until they find a blind girl screaming in a barrel of blood and a story of a crazed cannibal stalking the island. Not believing her at first the friends soon become lunch and dinner for George Eastman’s famous baby munching character gorehounds will always remember. The film can be very boring and seems to have lots of random walking scenes but makes up for it till this day with its shocking and violent scenes. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Anthropophagus 2 (VHS) – The film is most widely known as ‘Absurd’ but has several names: Horrible, Monster Hunter, The Grim Reaper 2, and Zombie 6: Monster Hunter. Joe D’Amato is back directing George Eastman in this weird sequel-not-sequel where a priest is stalking a man who has the unique ability to heal quickly and just happens to murder people for the hell of it. For the most part George Eastman plays the same exact character from the first film but without the skin condition and trying to eat people’s babies except when he spends seven minutes of screen time to bake a babysitter’s head to get to a couple of kids in their mansion. The movie is boring for big spans of time like the first ‘Anthropophagus’ but has some crazy violent death scenes that makes you as a horror fan to sit through it. I give the film 2 stars.

Star Trek: Into Darkness (DVD) – The J.J. Abrams sequel refuses to disappoint as he not only once again reinvents the Star Trek universe but stick with what made the original films good. This time young Kirk and crew are faced with an old enemy in Khan. But this time it has a different twist where Khan is just the cover for something bigger going on inside the Federation as someone is just trying to cover up the Federation is actually preparing for war more than peacekeeping missions through space. The film is once again a great sequel, prequel, remake that ends with opening all new universes of stories to be told because of its great blending of old and new characters and storyline. The new Star Trek series doesn’t just have me excited but I stand erect as hell waiting for the next film as this series for me maybe the last hope of me still paying attention to Hollywood. I give this fine sci-fi flick 4 stars and the people who don’t like it can go shove it up there asses as they have no fucking souls!

The Silencer (DVD) – A 1999 film starring Michael Dudikoff in a low budgeted version of Chuck Bronson’s ‘The Mechanic’. I give it 3 stars.

Horror Stories (DVD) – A great Korean anthology that will have American horror fans wetting their pants in happiness of getting a copy as this Asian anthology doesn’t disappoint in its four fun horror stories and wrap around. The wrap around begins with a man kidnapping a teenager because he cannot sleep and wants her to tell him a scary story to put him to sleep. The first film ‘Don’t Answer the Door’ is very creepy as it shows why kids need to make sure the door stays shut and locked. The second film is called ‘Endless Flight’ and a serial killer should never be trusted even on an empty flight to prison. ‘Endless Flight’ has a bucket of gore. The third film ‘Secret Recipe’ may be the most interesting story of the anthology as the best way I can describe is two step sisters fight over the Asian version of Hannibal Lector but they do not know that just yet… The fourth story ‘Ambulance on the Death Zone’ is a solid film but possibly the weakest if there is one of the anthology as a paramedic van stops to pick up two survivors but the doctor on board believes the child is bitten and will turn into a zombie. Mother swears she won’t and will do anything to make it back to the hospital. The anthology has its moments of gore, creepiness, and solid writing that makes it hard to not want to watch it again and give it 3 out of 4 stars. The film can be found at www.artsploitation.com .

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