Monthly Archives: December 2024

Gross Movie Reviews #659

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Halloween Massacre (Tubi) – A no budget UK horror film that comes in under 60 minutes and looks like hacked up project or pieces of film splice together has a pissed off lady Valentina looking for revenge. Apparently in the small town of Charnwood an escaped convict dressed as a clown has found other killer clown friends as they lure people into their weird home to murder. Valentina is hell bent on tracking down this horrible killer and killing him herself. There are only two redeeming scenes in this stupid mess: a) A clown faking a punch to a pregnant lady’s belly a couple times and b) the killer clown pushing a watermelon up inside a woman’s sensitive area. Outside of those two scenes the film is not very watchable so consider yourself warned if you go looking as I give it 0 stars.

Horny Teenagers Must Die! (Tubi) – An Indy feature that has a group of high school graduates all of whom are the stereotypes of slasher films past heading to a weekend cabin party. Once the young people have sex they are slaughtered shortly after. The film does a solid job of a slasher film but its biggest flaw is it does nothing or even try to do something to make it stand out from the crowd of imitators as I could only give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Swabian Granny Gore Terror (Blu-ray) – This crazy no budget gore flick is straight out of Germany in 2019 where the film can also be found under the title ‘Demonic Murder Granny’. Some bitchy old lady eats a random jar of raspberries from 1867 in her basement to quickly transform into a monster. Once transformation is completed she is on the hunt to launch an assault on drug-addled criminals, lazy construction dudes, rando dudes getting high, and a handicapped dude for shits and giggles. So if you consider entertainment “crazy granny killing randos in a gory manner” then this project is for you as I give it 2 stars.

Livescream (Blu-ray) – Scott is a gamer who streams his game playing online and has gathered a few followers over the time he has been doing it. Well an unknown fan has sent Scott a new horror game to play online for his audience. Scott is excited as he jokes with it being called a “haunted game” but also finds it a little sketchy that he had no knowledge of this game existing? Scott reads the instructions non-seriously then jumps into the gameplay but quickly dies in the game as this is where the movie takes a turn as the game explains there are consequences with playing this horror game. The viewers of Scott quickly become victims as they mysteriously disappear or killed but the kick in the ass is Scott will die also if he quits. As he continues with the gameplay Scott increasingly becomes nervous that his viewers are literally dying by his hands if he doesn’t accomplish finishing each level. I honestly haven’t played video games on any regular basis since I completed Resident Evil 3 on my PlayStation (or otherwise I am old) but I quite enjoyed the premise of the film, the design, and the bare bones but effective storytelling. For a gamer or a younger movie watcher it will feel interactive if you allow yourself to be entertained as I give this no budget project 3 out of 4 stars.

Hell’s Trap (Blu-ray) – Here is a 1989 Mexican thriller about two macho dudes who want to settle their competition with each other by going bear hunting in the mountains. A bear has recently been blamed for a few deaths of hunters who were recently there so what better way to settle a bet between friends than going bear hunting. They are warned they may find more than they bargain for which of course they quickly find in a crazed American war vet who wears a mask, has a bat cave, and a Freddy glove aka metal bear claw to slaughter folks that come looking his way. Nacho and friends have enough charm along with the crazy killer to keep horror fans entertained for this one as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Dinosaur Prison (Tubi) – A trio of women break into a highly secured (which is laughable) prison that is being used for animal testing. To the young ladies surprise they find dinosaurs imprisoned in the cells. Honestly this idea should have died in the first two minutes when no one questions them wandering around taking pictures but ignore the giant plot hole including the security guard that never shoots them but threatens too way too many times to count. Anyhow the women are captured by security and a weird so-called doctor dude that looks like an extra from a Willy Wonka stage play explains he is behind the experiments but he needs them to get the word out about the dinosaurs. Sounds all well and good until the so-called high-tech prison (again, where are your cameras) malfunctions and the dinosaurs find themselves free to start eating people. I wanted to laugh more at this film but it kept trying to be too serious as I can only give it a ½ star.

Murder for Pleasure (DVD) – An early project from filmmaker Derek Braasch that was released in 2016 as its plot revolves around a young man named Victor. Victor goes to see a professional as he struggles with his anger ever since his parents were killed in a restaurant several years ago. Victor’s struggles are getting the best of him as the only answer seems to be to kill those who he believes deserve it to calm the tendencies. As the film progresses Victor doesn’t just murder people but also torture them as he ups the level of violence ‘August Underground’ style! The story of Victor has flaws but it is something that can be seen as entertaining in the sense of a young man losing himself in his insanity and loss of parents at a young impressionable age  as I give the Indy film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #658

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Tsunami Sharks (YouTube) – Another shark flick out of the UK where this time around an unlikely tsunami hits a European city and along with it comes blood thirsty sharks. As the water rises the sharks infest the city as they trap people in their homes, buildings, and restaurants, you get the picture. The people need to be quick on their feet as they try to survive and figure out how to escape the sharks. It is a quick stupid shark filled fun flick I give 2 stars too.

Mountain Shark (Tubi) – Just another rando shark film out of the UK area where this time a scientist has perfected an experiment of a shark living and swimming in the countryside mountains of the UK. Think ‘Tremors’ with bad CGI? Anyhow it was supposed to be a decommissioned military project but the shark has escaped. A non-descript group of military persons are brought in to supposedly capture the creature but the good doctor is using them to make his killing machine that much more perfect. There was something that bothered me in the middle of the film when the scientist is holding a gun on the military persons and kept looking away let alone the gun he had on them was going away from them too… Why didn’t one these fuckers fuck his ass up immediately? Isn’t this what they train for or am I weird movie nerd overthinking this and the movie would have been half as long? Anyway, if you get past the shark looking better in the original PSone Resident Evil game you will be entertained and enjoy as I give this 2 ½ stars.

Blood Tracks (DVD) – A relatively unknown weirdo flick from the mid-80s about a rock band “Solid Gold” going to a snowy mountain with an abandoned factory to shoot their latest music video. Unknown to those who have invaded these premises a family has been living off the grid in the factory over the past four decades. Think ‘The Hills Have Eyes” meets “Slaughterhouse” with snow! An avalanche and the camera man being attacked by something leads the crew to be on high alert but just speeds up the process as the family wastes no time murdering everyone in a bloody manner. One problem folks, even cleaned up there is still some dark scenes that you will keep you squinting to see as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Dick Dynamite: 1944 (On Demand) – The latest crowd funded project involving Nazis getting their ass kicked in bloody style. Its 1944 and the Nazis have a new experimental liquid that they are testing on women and children that they want to drop on Manhattan to turn the whole city into zombies. Anyway Dick Dynamite is a big muscle bound soldier who is released from prison to lead his dirty half dozen to stop the Nazis ultimate plan. The project was shot over a couple of years and has a lot laughs and gore but if you are like me you have seen this type of film maybe one too many times? It isn’t terrible but its non-ending in my opinion didn’t help me liking this film as I place this in the category of the “trailer looks better than the finished project” as I give it 2 stars.

Backwoods Marcy (DVD) – This interesting project is a 1999 SOV film out of Sharkey Video directed by and stars the talented Dawn Murphy. A real estate dude named Donald is lost in the middle of nowhere for a meeting about a property he was going to check out. After picking up one hitchhiker to get his whistle wet he picks up another named Marcy. Marcy literally looks like a backwoods person who hates city folk but is very willing to help Donald for a ride to see her kin. When Donald gets upset by her smell he throws her out of the car with being lost and frustrated then accidently runs Marcy down with the car. This is where the real story begins as Marcy has Donald exactly where she wants him. Marcy catches her victim then proceeds to rape, torture, and cages Donald for her pleasure as she will kill anyone that comes sniffing around the campsite. The film is simply brilliant with its use of story, use of locations, and reversing the roles of backwoods horror as Marcy is relentless in making Donald her pet as that makes for an entertaining no budget film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

It’s a Wonderful Knife (Shudder) – Winnie is a senior in high school looking forward to college and life is grand until a serial killer shows up to her small holiday town of Angel Falls. Then Winnie’s life is changed forever as she just happens to kill the serial killer and he is unmasked to reveal it is the asshole real estate guy Mr. Waters who employees her father. One year later Winnie is stuck in a rut as it looks like all around her has forgotten the events of last Christmas except her. So just like the old holiday classic she wishes to never be born as this throws her into an alternate reality where everything is different as Mr. Waters own everything and still killing anyone who he feels is not a volunteer part of his end game. Winnie finds a new friend and they must kill again in order to restore Winnie’s reality? A holiday horror maybe aimed for the ‘Happy Death Day’ crowd but I still enjoyed it for what it was as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Santastein (Tubi) – A young man named Max has been stealing corpses in his spare time from the local morgue. He has a plan on restoring Santa as Max was the reason for Santa’s death several years ago and since then it doesn’t snow along with Santa no longer delivering presents. With the help of his friend’s Paige experiment his plan is to reanimate Santa to bring back Christmas! Sounds great in theory to Max until the undead Santa is slaughtering folks who are naughty. I enjoyed, I laughed at this project that doesn’t overthink it as it has fun with the story at hand as I give it 3 stars.

Junk Bonds: The Return of the Junk Bucket (Tubi) – In this Indy sequel Cassie is a survivor of a cannibal family who loves cutting off people’s junk. Yes it is a parody of ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ but with dicks! As the survivor Cassie is recaptured by the family they want to celebrate their son’s special day with strippers of course which sets in motion a whole new batch of dick cutting and vagina stabbing. I could never tracked the first film so of course I just went ahead and watched the sequel first as fans of old school Troma will be happy seeing this project keeping the Troma spirit alive as I give the film 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #657

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Yule Log 2: Branchin’ Out (Max) – So Zoe surviving the Yule Log Massacre of the first film as it is referred too wakes in a hospital and wants to do the holidays without a fireplace. Meanwhile, the Yule Log that won’t die has other plans to track down the only survivor to finish the job it started. Zoe and friend start road tripping until an accident caused by Zoe leaves them stranded in the Hallmark movie town of Mistletoe. Here Zoe learns to love again even though she carries an axe with her at all times and a firefighter named Blaze is shirtless the whole film. The Yule Log eventually finds Zoe in the most ridiculous way while leaving a blood soaked trail to her during a Yule Log Festival. I laughed my ass off several times during this sequel as this is possibly the best one, two holiday punch since the ‘Jack Frost’ films as I give it 3 ½ stars.

House of the Wizard’s Blackened Soul (YouTube) – Dakota Ray’s latest Indy project is a short film that runs 27 minutes surrounding a young troubled man Gideon. Gideon has several issues struggling through life then thrown a curveball when he becomes the caretaker for his not in the best of health grandfather and his estate. Gideon takes it on but falls into a deeper world of darkness that he cannot escape as he discovers something even worse was waiting for him. Is Gideon dreaming it all? Was he already dead? Was this the dark world Gideon wanted all along? These questions can be debated after watching and how each viewer will for sure see things differently than the last. Mr. Dakota Ray usually plays with dark things in his projects but takes it to an interesting level with this well shot almost artsy project. This wild short film will find its audience as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Black Rat (DVD) – This is a 2010 film out of Japan from the dude who directed ‘Battle Royale II’ for whatever that is worth. A young lady Asuka dances in front of a rat head on top of a school building only to commit suicide after. Sometime later a group of supposedly Asuka’s friends receive a text to meet at midnight in their classroom at school. The friends meet up only to be confronted by a mystery person in Asuka’s rat head and armed with a baseball bat. One by one their secrets are put out there through flashbacks as they die. I wanted to like this more but just felt like a subpar concept that was never as entertaining as I just described it as I give it 2 stars.

The Beast in the Cellar (DVD) – An early 70s film that tackles the story of a creature nearby a British Army Camp murdering soldiers in the countryside. Joyce and Ellie are two older women who just seem innocent and a bit curious people who live off the beaten path in the same countryside. But after authorities and soldiers have visited their home several times for their safety it comes out Joyce and Ellie have had a secret that started during the Great War as they must care, protect, and keep their younger brother from war. Not too terribly bloody but an interesting find if you enjoy British horror as I give it 2 stars.

Mad Cow Massacre (YouTube) – Pretty much first time filmmakers out of Iowa having a little fun on a tiny budget set their serial killer plot in the small town of Farmville. Here is where the latest killings have taken place by a psycho in a cow costume. A detective has been tracking the killer (Mad Cow Killer) through several towns but the killer has decided his murder spree to continue day after day now just in Farmville. This change in behavior has baffled the detective but allows him to gather reinforcements to trap the sick Mad Cow Killer but even after death he cannot be stopped. The project is very rough with many flaws but they understood the massacre concept. It has a lot of heart as it was exactly what I like finding in my micro-budgeted massacre movies as I hope for a sequel soon and as this film gets 2 out of 4 stars.

Grandma’s Cookies (YouTube) – A holiday short film of a young boy staying with Grandma who wants to stay up to see Santa on Christmas Eve. But Grandma tries to convince the boy it isn’t the best thing to be awake to see Santa as she knows the real Santa. See Grandma for years has made special cookies for Santa every year since a child for good reason as the boy staying awake finds out it isn’t all merry as I give the entertaining horror short 3 out of 4 stars.

Joe Returns A Video (YouTube) – This 2019 short film is hilarious in so many ways as it’s all about Joe who forgot to return a VHS copy of Steven Seagal’s ‘Above the Law’ in 1989 and now in 2019 decides it will not be late another day. Joe cannot think of racking up another day of late fees and heads out from his picturesque suburb home to go for a walk to the video store three decades later. Along the way Joe encounters several characters but at all times he explains he has to return Steven Seagal’s ‘Above the Law’ VHS. I was literally laughing about every thirty seconds throughout this 12 minute short as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews Best of 2024 list

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(As usual there is gonna be a few that you feel is missing from the list as I always say, “it’s just one person’s opinion” or keep in mind I watch all kinds of horror films new and old but it is hard to see everything believe me I try: Indy stuff to new stuff but always trying to unearth things no one has heard about so take a gander, enjoy, and I am sure someone will comment or send me a message, lol.)

1) Godzilla Minus One (On Demand) – Best way to explain this film: This is the remake of Godzilla, Tim Gross always wanted! But let’s tell you a little about it anyway. The main plot of the film revolves around a Japanese fighter pilot who in 1943 first encounters Godzilla on an island. Soon after the war ends in 1945 he returns home to devastation of his land and his family dead but also still haunted by the nightmares of Godzilla on the island. He tries to rebuild with a woman and a child who are survivors of the war with nowhere to go. As a couple years pass and the rebuilding of cities in Japan begin he finds a dangerous job on the sea picking up mines that were left from the war and this is where he meets the Godzilla creature again only to be bigger and much stronger than ever before. As Godzilla rips a part a Japanese city within seconds and disappears again, the Japanese people decide they cannot wait for any government to jump in help they must come up with a plan to destroy this mutated creature sooner than later. What makes this Godzilla more special in my opinion than a lot of the Godzilla films we grew up with or remakes of the 90s is the Japanese people are not just set pieces running away from Godzilla. This fighter pilot being haunted by nightmares of Godzilla and even believing Godzilla is following him in some way makes this a much different plot than what I believe we have seen before? Yeah there have been some cool recent reincarnations of Godzilla but this project literally reached into my brain and said we are going to give you the perfect combo: the iconic music, out of this world effects (no cheesy Godzilla but that will always have a place in my movie heart), a plot that finally or truly is about humans and not just Godzilla, but making Godzilla what he always was supposed to be since he showed up on screen in the 50s… an absolute bad ass unstoppable creature that gives you chills when he hits the screen! For this folks I absolutely give this 4 stars and thank you Toho.

2) The Beekeeper (On Demand) – This is not just another run of the mill action film starring Jason Statham. I think this movie is going to have some legs for the next few years. A mysterious dude named Adam Clay has rented a barn from a Mrs. Parker out in the middle of nowhere where he raises “bees”! But when Mrs. Parker is taken in by a computer scam and commits suicide after seeing she has just lost her savings Clay finds the aftermath. This sends Mr. Clay to find the United Data Company and burn them down from bottom to top. This event sets in motion Mr. Clay to find everyone who is involved and just burned them to the ground so to speak! Mr. Clay is an agent for the government that is a failsafe. He works outside of all agencies but has unlimited funds and have been a part of the US for decades as they are unstoppable killers. This is one of the better action film ideas I have seen in recent memory and love this concept as this taps into a very real-time subject that everyone could get behind and would want to happen as our government sucks at trying to control shit like this? Plus this movie doesn’t waste time at all throughout, there is no filler as Clay is just killing almost from the time it begins till the great ending as they still had time to fit in some interesting characters. This film gets my approval big time as I say you need to watch this as I give it 4 stars.

3) Shaky Shivers (DVD) – The film is set perfectly in 1993 somewhere in the state of Washington where two young women have set out to wait for a full moon and once it happens the hilarity doesn’t stop with what these two get themselves into. But when the real story begins the day before when the two are working their ice cream parlor jobs as they discuss their futures only to be interrupted by a woman from the woods. This happens at closing time when Lucy and Karen just want to be done for the night but the strange woman curses Lucy as now she has to deal with becoming a werewolf. The two best friends try to figure out what they can do before tomorrow evening which brings us to their present time the next evening and things go from bad to worse when they read from “The Book of Spells”! Great effects, great story, I absolutely laughed my ass off at these two characters as this will be a horror film for people to talk about for years to come as I give it 4 stars and will most likely be on my “Best of 2024 list” at the end of the year.

4) Super Hybrid (DVD) – Holy shit horror fans where has this 2010 film been hiding all my life as I could literally review this film as: Imagine 1977s The Car meets Deep Rising… SOLD! A driverless old black Chevy Nova is in a terrible car accident one evening in Chicago. The vehicle is towed to the Chicago impound garage to be stored but quickly the car begins to fix itself as the employees don’t think too much of it as they have their own shit to contend with. As the garage employees begin their work that night strange noises and things begin to happen around this car as this car lives for murder. But what makes this intriguing as they become locked into the garage for the night this car not only lives for murder but also is able to change car models when another is near it to hide in plain sight. Also it doesn’t take long for the employees to figure out this driverless car is driven by something that is alive! The film has a few imperfections but this has an insane plot, great cars, and cool stunt work that makes you question why wasn’t this film hyped up a lot more over a decade ago? Horror fans do yourself a favor and track this down as I give this film 4 stars and most likely to be in my “top ten movies” for 2024!

5) When the Trash Man Knocks (DVD/Tubi) – Caroline is a woman haunted by a tragic event many years ago that has caused her the fear of leaving the house. But what scared her two decades ago, “The Trash Man”, has returned. Instead of being your usual rando slasher genre fare (which isn’t a bad thing?) this film goes about fleshing out a more psychological story about how the Trash Man was able to scar a town. This legendary killer has haunted Caroline and her son for so many years that they also have become part of the legend. There is some wonderful kills and bodies pile up quickly once it gets going. I try to not go into too much detail as it can give this fun new breed of slasher film away and want it to be fun for first time viewers as I can honestly say this will be on my “Best of 2024 list” at the end of the year as I give it 4 stars.

6) TRET (DVD) – So independent filmmaker Matthew Diulus decided to delight horror fans with a tale of Halloween horror that runs a little over 17 minutes. This tale of terror deals with a person disrespecting another person’s Halloween decorations and candy bowl thus there is consequences for this action? Break the rules you must choose ‘Trick or Tret’? So if there is anything to take away from this delightful scare it’s always respect people’s Halloween stuff as this was a wisely casted, performed, and crafted Halloween horror short that I got to give 4 out of 4 stars.

7) Onyx the Fortuitous The Talisman of Souls (DVD) – This is an odd bird of a movie where the plot revolves around a fanboy character Marcus who still lives at home with mom (Barbara Crampton) and works at the local “Meat Mart”. But Marcus is really into this dude Bartok who worships Satan that has a contest of where five selected people get the chance to hang out in Bartok’s mansion. The five from all different walks of life all very into Bartok (Jeffrey Combs) the Great make it to the mansion for the ritual. The goal of this ritual is to bring forth the evil god Abaddon for immortality and Bartok to rule. But the five get curious and wonder what is really up with Bartok as they have odd dreams as they believe there is a prophecy about this event as not all Bartok can be true? Yeah the movie has a few flaws but we get Jeffrey Combs coming off as a doppelganger of Michael Ironside in ‘Turbo Kid’, Barbara Crampton being delightful as always, ghouls, monsters, and the vibe of this being some weird mid-90s fever dream I once had when I was 20. This movie might be odd but it was an absolute hoot to watch so give it a chance as I give it 4 stars.

8) The Last Christmas in the Universe (YouTube) – The fine folks from Spain that have brought you the over the top brilliant work of “Fist of Jesus” and “Brutal Relax” have returned with a post-apocalyptic holiday short film. It is December 25th next year?! Everything has gone to shit and a gang of brutal thugs are about to kill a man but Santa has arrived because even though everything is just about dead Santa has a job to do as long as there is still one good person left. Santa and his magical bag of presents turns the fight to the death into a fantastic holiday splatterfest that includes Santa playing ‘Twister’ (the version of the game here in the US) with the thugs’ body parts in order to save this one good person. Need some dark humor in your Season’s Greetings look no further than this absolutely fun gorefest that will just make you smile like the days of unwrapping all those cool presents as a kid as I give this wonderful holiday short film 4 out of 4 stars. Also these talented people are in need of your support so please check out www.patreon.com/RedParty to help. 

9) Psycho Ape 2! The Wrath of Kong (DVD) – Addison and crew literally come out swinging in this sequel to his no budget hit “Psycho Ape” of leaning into the comedy that much more where the film is a parody of a parody of a parody if that makes any sense at all? It is now supposedly 25 years later and the three main characters Nancy Banana, Dr. Zoomis, and Psycho Ape are all friends trying to live out their exciting lives until it becomes a courtroom drama as Psycho Ape is believed to be killing again. There is a woman who wants Psycho Ape behind bars by any means as the threesome of Nancy, the good doctor, and Psycho Ape are just trying to live their best lives as they reenact several scenes from several movies along the way. Pay attention when they are not ironing the gorilla suit mid-movie they go through a crapload of famous films quickly. This is one of those “check your brain at the door, grab a six pack, and strap yourself in for some laughs” kind of movie. Addison you had me immediately when the kids are trading for the infamous Psycho Ape card and the famous Billy Ripken card is mentioned. There is so much going on in this film it will literally take viewers two or three times to truly understand how cool this project actually is? Now saying that and looking at Addison’s films leading up to this it leaves me asking Indy fans an important question: Is Addison Binek possibly the next Lloyd Kaufman as he continues to build his young career? While you think on that this sequel is an absolute rolling on the ground, laughing until tears run down your face comedy I give 4 out of 4 stars too!

10) The Third Saturday in October (Shudder) – I quite enjoyed this throwback to a 70s slasher film as this one has heart with the music, the look, and the cars. Set in 1979 Alabama where deranged killer Jack Harding is being put to death for his killing spree in 1968 but has refused to say a word since. When Harding is electrocuted there is a man (Ricky Dean Logan) and a woman (Vicki Newton) that is witnesses of the execution who also wanna see him buried in the ground to be sure he is dead. But don’t let a good electrocution keep this killer down as he rises from his coffin to kill again and heads to the town of Hackleburg to restart his bloody rampage. Ricky and Vicki soon believe Jack Harding isn’t human but some kind of unstoppable monster. This is one of the few nostalgic slasher films in the past several years that have gotten the formula right! When watching your 70s slasher film makes me think of “Halloween” and “Phantasm” but also finds a way to give me chills you know you have made this horror fan happy who is old enough to remember that time as I gotta give this wonderful nostalgic 70s movie 4 stars! Horror fans that enjoyed “Late Night with the Devil” will enjoy this also.

Notables worth mentioning…

Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In (On Demand) – A young man Chan Lok-kwun looking to be paid for his services so he can get his ID is screwed over by Mr. Big (Sammo Hung). In turn Chan grabs a bag believing its money and not a sack full of drugs and goes running from the gang. Its 1980 Hong Kong and Chan get chased into the citadel. This is a walled off society from the rest of Hong Kong that actually existed! Chan might be able to defend himself against the thugs of Mr. Big but he cannot defend himself when he is facing ‘the barber’. This older man hands Chan his ass without dropping his cigarette and explains if he stays he must become a functional part of what they all do there. The young man just wants to make enough money in order to travel and get his ID but slowly the real identity of Chan comes out that causes Mr. Big and son to try a takeover of the walled in city! The fight scenes are unlike some of the most top notch stuff on screen and this story just sucks you into this 1980 Hong Kong universe. If you are a fan of such titles ‘The Raid’ or ‘Triple Threat’ please give this action/fantasy a try because this will be one of the best movies you watch in 2024 as I give it 4 stars.

HeBGB TV (Blu-ray) – Wow, right out the gates this thing screams mid-90s Nick shows! This era is a little past my time but I was still able to appreciate what a great viewing pleasure of this project was. It begins with a rando package on a front doorstep picked up by siblings who were hoping it was pizza. This out of this world cable box once inside immediately hooks itself up and out comes “The Purple Guy” to explain and entertain the siblings. As The Purple Guy allows the siblings to watch the programming and advertisements we keep getting newsbreaks that the cable box is going everywhere and taking over the world. But the siblings in the end are not having what The Purple Guy is offering. The production and presentation of this project is just absolutely entertaining along with the young sibling characters giving this horror delight an innocence you don’t see often or pulled off correctly. Horror fans if you grew up in the 90s make a point to pick up a copy of this as these fantastic independent productions are rare as I give it 4 stars.

Boy Kills World (On Demand) – In an alternate world where a deaf boy has his mom and sister murdered by a dictator. After being found in the jungle a Shaman trains him from a boy to adult to be the perfect killing machine. The boy never forgets what drives him as he wants revenge in this chaotic world of dreamy weirdness. But you have to pay attention to the complete insane story because not all is what it seems as this feels like someone threw Peter Jackson’s “Dead Alive”, the over the top action film “Hardcore Henry”, and one of my favs “Raid the Redemption” into a blender! The final product is a wonderful wacky huge body count of an action film that I will be enjoying many times over as I give it 4 stars.

Brainjacked (DVD) – Tristan is a young man thrown out on his ass and not sure where to go or what to do? While in a park for the night he is greeted by a beautiful young woman Laney who believes he is a male hooker but once the confusion is concluded she offers to help him. She brings the young man to a place of peace where a doctor helps lost young people by drilling holes into their skulls and giving them relief of whatever bothers them. The good doctor receives the name from the young people as “the gift giver”. Tristan hesitates but eventually gives the okay for the surgery but what seems wonderful at first but unleashes a dark secret the good doctor is hiding. Think of an independent version of ‘The Stepford Wives’ and ‘Disturbing Behavior’ but done better and more intense in my opinion in this exciting sci-fi horror film! Released in 2008/2009 this film to me at least should be talked about as an underground Indy classic as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Rejected (YouTube) – This short film from Rene Riva Productions is an interesting one as they made an anthology into 15 minutes with a ‘VHS’ vibe. It is late November 1997 at the Sonu Studios and a couple of TV hosts are showing the rejected ads for the new Sonu digital camera that takes floppy disk. The characters in these ads that use the new advanced camera face certain death! Plain and simple this is 15 minutes of horror awesomeness done right as I give this short film project 4 out of 4 stars.

The Primevals (Full Moon) – A passion project from no other than David Allenunder Charles Band’s Full Moon Pictures label that has been in some kind of production for decades. Sadly David Allen died in 1999 never seeing the project finished. As the story goes Allen who did the wonderful puppet effects in the first couple ‘Puppet Master’ films had been trying to get this project up and going for decades starting right after the film ‘Laserblast’. Not until the early 90s did Band have the funds for Allen to pull the production off but one thing after another happened causing this project to never being finished and talked about many Full Moon fans for years. But to Charles Band’s credit and some others getting involved in a recent crowd funding campaign the film was finished and restored so all of us fans get to see the fun stop-motion stuff that brings this picture to life! The story revolves around a discovered frozen Yeti and sent off to the U.S. for presentation to get everyone excited for such a creature. This event sparks an expedition to do research in the Himalayas to possibly find proof or another one of these creatures? Their adventure literally leads the group to another world where lizard people/things control the Yetis and rule in this possible alternate prehistoric world! The film comes off very family friendly but the real star is no doubt the stop motion effects of the Yeti and the lizard men that is just such a wonderful throwback to old school filmmaking that will thrill not just Full Moon fans but some cinema buffs too. Thank you to all who got this together for us movie fans to check out and thank you David Allen even though you didn’t get to see you finished product as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Longlegs (On Demand) – Another horror film starring Nic Cage but under a lot of makeup, set in the 90s, and… he is a serial killer known as ‘Longlegs’ or a cultist? Right out of the gate this film gets real creepy in the first couple minutes giving ‘Silence of the Lambs’ vibes that first time I watched Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lector in the early 90s! From there we are introduced to a young FBI Special Agent Harker who you wouldn’t exactly call psychic but gets a feeling as she is brought in on this long standing “Longlegs” case where on the 14th a family is murdered. First thought to be just murders by the father figure but things just never set right with the FBI especially with Longlegs sending them incoherent coded messages. The daughter in the family is always the target of Longlegs; her birthday is on the 14th every time as Harker is able to read the coded messages. Harker gets thrown into this unsolvable case mess as FBI finds out their special agent Harker was visited by Longlegs as a child and survived for an unknown reason. No matter what it comes too it is about “Hail Satan”! Trying not to give too much away about this super weird but entertaining as hell film. The further I got away from watching this feature the more I like it and want to go back for a rewatch sooner than later. You gotta enjoy when a film just gives you unsettling creepy vibes from beginning to end as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Curtains for Christmas (Blu-ray) – Great, just what we need another holiday film of goodness! But this isn’t just your usual Hallmark happy holiday festive bullcrap as director/co-writer Steve Rudzinski and co-writer Aileen Isley craft a tale of holiday terror about a young woman Holly who just wants Christmas to be perfect like her favorite holiday film. The film goes for the holiday throat in no time as Holly kills her boyfriend of eight months because he refuses to spend the holiday with her and won’t introduce Holly to his parents. (Absolutely love Holly chowing on the block of cheese depressingly watching her favorite holiday film). The murder is only the beginning as Holly now has conversations with an imaginary holiday rodent who is giving her advice as she believes there is still time for her to have the perfect Christmas like her favorite film. So why not go kill your way to having the perfect holiday where you fall in love, have a family, and it’s the greatest Christmas tale ever told. That is when she meets Jay and she puts her killing spree I mean plan into action. Everything from the gingerbread house contest to the fake kidnapped family for Holly makes this beyond entertaining and ends in a huge bloody mess of course. So grab the milk and cookies, and possibly a sharp knife to stab I mean to have with your loved one while watching this sick holiday treat as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Nano Shark (Tubi) – Maybe one of the surprises of 2024 is this entertaining shark film from filmmaker Brett Kelly. New tech has allowed scientists to possibly shrink a shark down to almost nothing to enter a boy’s bloodstream to seek out and kill a rare blood disease. But… you guessed it a janitor has the tiny shark and the tiny sub injected into his backside by accident. Now it’s up to the military sub team to guide the shark out of his peen hole before it goes back to its original size! Think ‘Innerspace’ with a shark on no budget. Just when you thought the shark ideas were done this hilarious flick comes along and proves there was one more shark movie related idea out there as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Cryptids (Dropbox) – Justin M. Seaman and Zane Hershberger at no time are not working on a project as they put together with some other filmmakers an anthology that uses the “Mothman Festival” as a back drop and the legendary movie host Joe Bob Briggs as Harlan Dean a radio host for a program about Cryptids. For this week’s show Harlan has asked callers to call in with stories that deal with cryptozoology! First story deals with a legend of “Melon Heads” or young people who were experimented on instead of being taken care of by their doctor and escaped the facility to live in the woods. Second story is about a park ranger and his partner facing off with a group of Sasquatches deep in the woods while looking for lost campers. (Which I quite enjoyed the ending) The third story is the hilarious entry of the bunch that I think holds the anthology together of a man who disappears in the woods after he finds a monstrous fish creature and has what seems like an acid trip? This story works well for where it is as it releases a little pressure of the tension that was built up by the first two stories. Fourth story is set on Halloween where a fisherman brings home a mysterious rock/large egg thing that he wants to use for his set up that night. Problem is the thing hatches and now little ghoulish things are running rampant through the house. The fifth is about two chupacabras chasing down individuals in a building for the fun of the Mexican cartel who watch it on closed circuit TV. The last story involves two young men who decide to have a monster hunt for a mysterious animal that may or may have not been eating all the neighborhood animals recently to set up a prank. The anthology comes in at a brisk 76 minutes with all entries being quite delightful and entertaining experiences into cryptozoology. The project is well casted, well shot, as has Justin and Zane showing off their talents once again in the world of low budget filmmaking as I give this anthology 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Dreams of the Dead (DVD) – Many moons ago (1994) a young Brad Sykes made a SOV horror film in Virginia but never released it, now it is soon to be. This bold and interesting horror vision introduces us to a young man named Adrian who begins to get letters to his home for a past resident who suddenly disappeared? The letters are all addressed to an Edgar Kim and this fascinates Adrian to the point of distracting him away from finishing a movie script with his friend. As Adrian slowly dwells on the mystery of Edgar Kim he begins to have visions of a beautiful woman who he doesn’t know but does know she is connected to Edgar in some way. Adrian refuses to let this go as it sucks him in deeper. Also let’s note I quite enjoyed the scene with Adrian looking up Edgar in the yellow pages oh those were the days in 1994. Without giving up the brilliant ending Brad’s film comes off more like a psychological thriller than a straight up horror film? I don’t know if Mr. Sykes pulled off exactly what he wanted but this movie has kind of a ‘Sledgehammer’ vibe that I believe will have SOV fans screaming to preorder this immediately as I give this project Mr. Sykes should be proud of 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Last Amityville Movie (Tubi) – For those of you still counting with me this is entry #59 into the long running franchise. This entry is from Josh Spiegel who plays himself in the film and considered a content creator and belongs to a horror online group that just covered the last Amityville film “Amityville Zoo”. Another pandemic comes down the pike affecting the world including trapping Josh’s wife and child in his hometown of Pittsburgh, Pa. Unemployed and a bored Josh begins to document everything online for his content during this new pandemic. One day Josh receives at his door a mysterious package from Amityville and it’s a doorknob? He makes fun of it online but immediately strange things begin to happen to him in his home. As things get weird he commits to filming everything until he can figure things out. Josh even has contact with a professor who explains that the doorknob is a cursed object from the original dwelling. Now Josh who recently bashed the Amityville series online and after some advice from a filmmaker of several entries has decided to turn this footage into a movie to hopefully be rid of the curse of Amityville. There are a lot of hilarious moments with Josh working in the absurdness of this series including “Amityville Vibrator”! Josh is all about breaking the curse including being chased by a bootleg CHUD in an alternate Amityville world?! I quite enjoyed this piece of entertaining cinema as Mr. Spiegel like Steve Rudzinski’s “Amityville Christmas Vacation” understood from the beginning to not take it too seriously. But just like Nathan Rumler’s “Amityville Vibrator” and the just mentioned Rudzinski project use your mind to put a great twist on the series that viewers will actually enjoy watching instead of moaning halfway through they are watching another shitty entry! Spiegel’s entry is well-crafted and a fun watch for all who have put themselves through watching so many of these Amityville movies as I give it 3 ½ stars. 

Body Count (DVD/YouTube) – So this latest venture into Indy cinema stars Jennifer Nangle! But it doesn’t just star Ms. Nangle she goes all John Saxon “Zombie Deathhouse” on us and stars, directs, writes, editor, produces, etc. Everything except for the music which I may say will go unnoticed but might be Rocky Gray’s best work? Anyway Jennifer and others put together an anthology of where Queen of Screams Malvolia is trying to kill randos in the wraparound with her band of misfits as there are stories to be told that flesh out this entertaining anthology! First story has an actress who has made one too many mistakes in her career and trying to get back on track or has she? As she is just trying to put pieces together that would allow her to gain her revenge… Second story is about an all-girls weekend that takes a turn to the sadistic because someone still holds a grudge from 15 years ago for a prank! Third story is about a trio of friends who set out to kill vampires. Fourth story is about old friends getting together and something goes horribly wrong as what was planned is turned upside down. Fifth story is about a woman who kills to get what she wants but runs into someone far more sinister because she hasn’t stuck with the code of witches. Before you flutter your eyes at another Indy anthology take note this was impressive as I mentioned Ms. Nangle decided to make this happen in all aspects of filmmaking which is impressive. And yes we all know unless it is “Creepshow” I am already gonna dislike the anthology but remember I also made one recently… What is funny about this one is Jennifer showed off more of her talent that most may give her credit for? Yeah the anthology isn’t perfect (it isn’t Creepshow) but she put together a 100 minute project that isn’t boring, doesn’t drag, or rely on nudity to get across what she wanted on screen and for that kudos as I give 3 out of 4 stars for this entertaining piece of art.

Great Documentaries I got to check out this year!

Blood, Guts and Sunshine 2: The History of Horror Made in Florida (DVD) – A sequel from Chris Woods who once again dives into the rich history of filmmaking in Florida. There are lots of stories and interviews with such legends Fred Olen Ray, J.R. Bookwalter, Sean Donohue, Chris Woods himself, along with a few well known online movie critics. The first entry dealt with a lot of recent Indy films that have been released and made there where this sequel explains the history of some of our favorite horror films being made there but how different parts of the state can be used for any part of the world for said film. I quite enjoyed also this documentary felt a little more polished than the first but the real gem might be Fred Olen Ray telling stories of how he sold his first film and his experiences early on in his career. Rather entertaining B-movie stuff that very few could pull off or even be done today. Entertaining as hell kids as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars and believe me you will learn something that you didn’t know from this doc. Soon to be available through www.gatorbladefilms.com  

In Search of the Last Action Heroes (Tubi) – An absolute gem of a documentary that talks all about action films and how they got started to how they have fizzled out these days. Everything from James Bond to Bruce Lee to George Miller to how filmmakers were inspired by 50s and 60s westerns to make the modern action film! This has a bit of everything to interest even the occasional viewer of action movies as I give it 4 stars.

Mad Max Exposed (Tubi) – An hour long documentary on everything Mad Max that covers everything from the stunts, the people who were a part of them, how they planned the movie, the design of the cars, to nothing stopping George Miller in putting together a film that changed car chase scenes forever. All of the cast exception of George Miller and Mel Gibson share stories throughout the hour that will have any Mad Max fan beaming and entertained in seconds as I give it 4 stars.

Dario Argento Panico (Shudder) – A documentary that thoroughly goes through the career of the Italian horror master and those who worked with him. The film takes you on a deep dive of Argento and what exactly lured and inspired him into filmmaking. There is also in-depth interviews with both of Dario’s daughters, yes you heard me right… both daughters! I only knew of Asia. Dario also has conversations about how his filmmaking shaped his family through the years as this is not just brilliant but eye opening doc on the legendary filmmaker as I give it 4 stars.

Men in Suits (YouTube) – This is a fascinating look at people in the monster suits we all grew up with that were in some of the most famous monster suits ever made for Hollywood films. Learned about this documentary while reading a book on ‘Creature from the Black Lagoon’ about a young lady who was the driving force behind this historical creature and all the work she did. You can find the book on Amazon and it’s called “The Lady from the Black Lagoon”. Real cool shit that proved some things I heard throughout the years. But anyway this documentary takes an inside look of who and why they do what they do. If you are all about practical effects, you are going to want to search this one out as I give it 4 stars.

Worst movie of the year that I watched…

Cheerleader Chainsaw Chicks (DVD) – A 2018 film that might be one of the worst things I have watched since “Amityville Mt. Misery Rd.” This was absolute crap! A trio of young ladies head to a cheerleader camp that is on a movie lot only to have their camp invaded by the three stooges of criminals because they hid their stash there! Complete nonsense happens as a dog is traded for the stash and no one dies by chainsaws… hell there is only three cheerleaders in the movie the exception is a quick edit of another team in another room for five seconds. This is a case of the filmmaker believes they are smarter and funnier than the audience and breaking news they are not. I hate to say this if anything this is a prime example of a movie that not only insults actual independent filmmakers but gives Indy films a bad name. Be aware I have already found the “WORST FILM I HAVE WATCHED IN 2024 ALREADY” as I give this 0 stars.

Holy crap folks Grossfest 2025 just added another great guest!

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Morrigan Thompson-Milam

Well Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Grossfest fans because we have another guest announcement and yinz can thank us later for this one. This person had busted out onto the Indy scene in 2018 with acting in a few short films but got their big break with the feature ‘The Curse of Lilith Ratchet’. Ever since then this person hasn’t looked back on becoming one of the hardest working actors in the Indy scene. Their talent, charm, and work ethic make them hard to miss on screen as their presence on film has made them one the hottest upcoming actors to have in an Indy project. You may know them from such titles: Debbie Does Demons, XXX-mas, Waspzilla, Killer Campout Part II, Crackcoon, Blood and Breakfast, with a host of other upcoming projects! But wait there is more as this wonderfully talented person is about to add writer/director to their list of credits with their own project ‘Martian Girl Massacre’ segment that will be a part of the ‘Amityville Aliens’ project (so of course massacre and Amityville made the Gross brothers ears perk up). We are proud to announce someone we know yinz are all gonna love having at Grossfest 2025… we like to introduce yinz to Morrigan Thompson-Milam!

Okay Grossfest fans we got the date, the hotel, the guests, and we will have the vendors so mark your calendars! Here is the guest list:

The Mummy and The Monkey

Mark Polonia

Jeff Kirkendall

Tim Hatch

Jessa Flux

Mel Heflin

Phil Herman

Steve Rudzinski

Morrigan Thompson-Milam

The official Grossfest tattoo artist and all around coolest horror movie fan ever to exist Angel O’Connor!

Special guest – Jason Burke

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

Tickets: $10 for one day. $15 for both days.

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

(Again no one under 18 will be allowed to get a tattoo so please don’t ask. Also you will need a Grossfest wristband in order to make your appointment with Angel the tattoo artist.)

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

Contact us with questions or vendor application questions at grossfest@gmail.com

For show info: www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

Vendor tables are $100 each and come with two passes contact grossfest@gmail.com .  

Gross Movie Reviews #656

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Red Light District Shark Attack (Fawesome/DVD) – So Amsterdam sex workers are experimenting with a new drug at their brothel that mistakenly makes baby sharks. Of course some fat horny dude heads out to same whorehouse in Amsterdam for some sex and drugs! Working lady convinces fat guy to take said experimental drug and not only loses weight immediately, he becomes half shark/half man. The rest of the movie is about the young sex workers trying to stop half shark/half man from feasting on their hot little bodies. Short film form would have been much better for an idea like this… But trying to stretch it into feature form to get distribution is just sad and makes for a boring Indy shark movie that gets 0 stars.

Apex Predators 2: The Spawning (Fawesome/DVD) – Dustin Ferguson doing a smart a second time around takes a cue from the famous sequel to ‘Piranha’. The sharks are back attacking people heading to the beach and this time they fly on shore to get their meal as the all-important volleyball tournament is about to go down. This means feeding frenzy for the mutated sharks! The film stars the likes of Vernon Wells, Indy horror host Jennifer Nangle, and Eric Larsen as Jennifer Nangle’s character intermittently takes you through the tragic events of flying sharks by telling the viewer how she survived the attacks. A vast improvement over the first film as I gotta give this sequel 2 ½ stars.

Phil Herman’s Unearthed (DVD) – Phil Herman has churned out several anthologies over the past few years and this one seems to have a different vibe than the ones I have viewed in the past. This Indy anthology installment felt like it wasn’t playing by all the rules in search of giving the viewer an entertaining but different take as these four tales tackle: missing persons, alien abduction, demon possession, and mystical serial killer? You get to see some cool acting talents such as Heather Harlow, Debbie D, and Tina Krause among other famous people in what I describe as a deep dark thriller of an anthology. I do believe the Indy folk will enjoy these entertaining tales as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Operation Fortune (DVD) – Nic Cage has done a similar film but I will always have a soft spot for Guy Ritchie and Jason Statham project. Orson works for the government and is on holiday until he is pulled off by his handler to seek why something nasty was stolen? Orson gets a new crew together along with a Hollywood action star so they can get info at a charity event that an arms dealer is hosting. Point is they need to hack the arms dealer’s cell phone so they know what this thing “The Handle” is being sold too and what exactly or how nasty is this thing? “The Handle” turns out to be the ultimate AI key that will crash the world financial system. Gimme Jason Statham and Guy Ritchie all day as I give this fun action flick 3 stars.

Intrusive (DVD) – Even at 66 minutes this slow burn but effective Indy project is from Eric Shapiro who  keeps it simple but complex if that makes any sense. Sabina gets a hotel room and makes an appointment with a spiritual healer because she claims an ancient woman is very loud in her head. This woman in Sabina’s head is not allowing her to sleep or function any longer and needs immediate help from Kelly. Kelly is going to use hypnosis to help Sabina but after a few miscues feels Sabina needs professional help. But Sabina explains the voice is what led her to Kelly which intrigues Kelly why and how deep does this go? As they go back and forth through the session the story fills out and eventually comes full circle. This was a nice changeup in the usual Indy stuff I watch and recommend to people as I do recommend checking this project out as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Lost Platoon (VHS) – You had me at: 1990 David Prior production that deals with an aging reporter investigating a war skirmish in Nicaragua. During a fight with rebels and seeing a man in camp he believes he had encountered this man before, in a different war? The grizzled reporter is obsessed with the four soldiers who haven’t seemed to age for years. His interest gets him in trouble as they reveal themselves as vampires but they are there warring with an evil general that seems to know them also. A somewhat fun low budget vampire film that I give 2 stars too.

The Mouse Trap (Xumo Play) – So the original Mickey Mouse went public domain and of course it didn’t take long for someone to cash in on the name or fail miserably with this project. I dare you to like this garbage. Alex is stuck working her arcade job during her 21st birthday but surprise her friends are the reason why as they wanted to hang with her. Once all are in a dude with the old school Mickey Mouse mask locks the place down to murder the young people one by one while teleporting. Also can we stop the whole “everyone hand over your cell phone as we are going to have fun without them” cliché? No fucking way a 21 year old is going to unglue their phone from their hand to put it in a bag! For the love of Rutger Hauer that is such a dumb lazy story arc. Bottom line horror fans they thought they were smarter than everyone else in rushing this project and all it did was give horror fans an unwatchable mess as I give it 0 stars.

Ninja vs. Shark (Shudder) – An interesting concept that could only be done in Japan as Lord Koshiro Mizuchi sends his minions of the “Crimson Devil Clan” to kidnap, kill, and steal pearls from a small coastal village. The mayor of this village is desperate so why not hire a bodyguard for the village to fight back this evil before they all die or become slaves. This film besides bringing the gore tries to totally entertain with a shark attacking people, half shark/half man (done right unlike a certain movie Red Light District Shark Attack) that eats certain people for said Lord to become younger, ninja fights, some Mortal Kombat shit going down, but most importantly we do get a legit ninja vs. shark! Yes enjoy this craziness as I give you this hidden international gem 3 stars.

King on Screen (Shudder) – A crowd funded project with a ton of interviews with filmmakers who brought Stephen King’s books to the screen. It tries to cover everything but gets caught up on discussing ‘The Shinning’ and for good reason (horror fans pay attention). It does bring up the relationship between King and Romero and as fun as that is there is little if no attention paid to such films: Salem’s Lot, Graveyard Shift, Cat’s Eye, The Dark Half, and Maximum Overdrive. This documentary felt like a mixed bag of sorts but there could be numerous reasons different projects were not discussed or not as much for my liking as I give the project 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #655

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Seven Cemeteries (On Demand) – Stars Danny Trejo as Santana, a man wrongly accused of murder then jailed for a few decades has finally gotten released. His first stop out of prison is to show up at a ranch that has been under attack by a druglord who intends to use it for the drug trade because its location on the border. Within minutes Santana is gunned down by the local sheriff but saved by a witch who wants to help him since he is a good man. He is given the power to bring back the dead in order to help this woman save her ranch! Santana collects his gang of undead and begin the fight of their lives to do the right thing in this bloody battle with a druglord. The film is cheesy, hilarious, and super entertaining as I give it 3 stars.

The Block Island Sound (4K Ultra HD) – A 2020 film from the McManus Brothers that I never heard of but begins to tell the story of dead fish washing up on shore of a coastal town and birds falling dead out of the sky. These things seem to be causing some issues with Harry’s father that he is unaware of until his father disappears at sea one early morning. Besides Harry is having trouble dealing with his father alone since his mother’s death, his sister Audry has come into town as this immediately causes issues before the disappearance. A few days go by as the father washes up on shore dead but this isn’t enough for Harry as he travels out on the boat to the location where his father disappeared and finds out the real answer the hard way. This project feels like a slow burn ‘X-Files’ episode without FBI agents or similar to ‘Fire in the Sky’ film. The disc has quite a few extras concerning the McManus Brothers: commentary, family home movies, segments on effects, cast, and shooting a smaller budgeted film on the water as I give the package 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapsefilms.com .

The Nailgun Massacre (4K Ultra HD) – As Joe Bob Briggs would say “does it need a 4k version with all the bells and whistles? No, but you know Tim Gross is gonna get it at some point!” Anyway by some chance you have never had the pleasure? This is a story of a young woman who is brutally raped on a construction site by several men. Shortly after the tragic event someone dressed up with a motorcycle helmet on and armed with an air powered Nailgun nails people to trees, the road, to each other. Simple but very effective or penetrating story as the tagline suggests from R.I.P. Terry Lofton who I can actually consider a friend because of my love for the film and getting to meet him. This is a wonderful packed to the gills or full clip on the Nailgun full of extras involving Terry Lofton and the cast that includes a few commentaries and an old Q&A with Joe Bob Briggs. There is a Blu-ray and 4K disc in this set as I feel Terror Vision did an absolutely dam good job in putting together such a special package that Terry Lofton would be proud of as I give it 4 stars.

Mummy Shark (Fawesome) – A maybe intentional or unintentional horror film from Mark Polonia that concerns some explorers uncovering an ancient shark buried under the great pyramids. The archeological dig has disturbed the ancient being and it thirsts for blood. When the explorers are not trying to escape the great shark god look for Tim Hatch trying to get people to eat the Dollar General/Dollar Tree (Fast Bites) cheeseburgers most of the film that had me laughing so hard. (P.S. those cheap ass burgers are wonderful.) If that isn’t enough enjoy Mark Polonia grilling Vegan food in a CGI jungle. Leave it to Polonia to give Indy horror fans a hilarious take on if a Mummy Shark existed as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Camp Blood: Clown Shark (Fawesome) – Someday I have warned readers I will track down all the ‘Camp Blood’ movies just like I did with the ‘Witchcraft’ series and ongoing with the ‘Amityville’ series. But until then I settled to check out the Jeff Kirkendall and Mark Polonia venture that concerns a slasher with a clown shark?! Set at Camp Blackwood as a beautiful woman Jerry is chased down by the killer clown but turns the tables on him as she beheads him. Six months later the spirit of the killer clown takes over a random fish and turns it into a killer clown shark. Jerry has to return to the scene of the crime to put to rest her visions/nightmares of the killer clown that she once thought was dead. This movie was more entertaining than I thought it could be as I give 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Catnado “Tales of Feline Terror” (Fawesome) – Apparently a Donald Farmer presents project that has several different stories of people with this new natural disaster “Catnado” and the fallout that follows. I have quite enjoyed some of Donald Farmer’s work over the years but I didn’t find this funny or interesting that honestly if you don’t have Steve Rudzinski attached to something like this then you have gone about it all wrong as I give it 0 out of 4 stars.

Pandasaurus (Fawesome) – Beware horror fans if you are looking for a straight up monster flick as Mark Polonia goes for dry humor in this project and hits gold! A couple who own a struggling small town zoo claimed they found an egg to a new species of animal as they raise it as their own at the zoo. This new thing is called “Pandasaurus”. The couple believes it is harmless as they raised it as their pet and once it gotten bigger as an attraction for the zoo. But some others outside of the zoo feel this is a danger to society and needs to be studied by the government unlike their therapist played by Mark Polonia who believes the thing is a hoax and the couple is completely off their rocker! The Pandasaurus escapes and people start to disappear as I gotta give Mr. Polonia kudos for pulling off something a little different in this genre as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!