Tag Archives: Tim Gross

Gross Movie Reviews #310

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Gross Movie Reviews #310

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Bleeding (DVD) – It’s a vampire film that is supposed to be a spring board for a MMA fighter in the lead role. Problem is the writer, director, and producer take it upon themselves to combine your most popular vampire films from the past ten or twelve years and cram it into a 90 minute elephant crap called a horror film. With a supporting cast of DMX, Vinnie Jones, and Michael Madsen you should expect more but as usual it’s all about the names and not the film plot and what horror movie fans enjoy. The film revolves around a man who is told he is a vampire slayer and must take out the vampire king who just happens to be his brother. The film has a few fun moments but overall makes feel bad for the MMA dude who got stuck with a poopy project. I give the film 1 ½ stars.

 

The World’s End (Blu-ray) – Edgar Wright in to direct, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost to star… Yep, the band is back together for their third outing and it doesn’t disappoint. Character Gary King (Simon Pegg) wants to relive some moments from being a graduating teenager in his old small town. More than anything to go and have one beer in all 12 pubs with his friends, something that got sidetracked years ago. Once King has convinced all his old buddies that this is a good idea they roll into the small town to begin the drinking marathon. Slowly, the friends notice everything is kinda weird and they are convinced once Gary gets into a fight with a younger guy in a bathroom and rips his head off. Things are not what they used to be. The friends in their drunken state must figure out what the hell is going on and how they can get the hell out of town! The film is hilarious and non-stop comedy gold. The Blu-ray has possibly the most extras I have ever seen on one disc as I give the film 4 stars.

 

Attack the Block (DVD) – A fun flick from the UK about teenage gang members taking on aliens when a rock falls from space and a creature awakens and attacks them. Once the alien is killed, the gang celebrates not knowing they are in a world of hurt as the alien is a female and it has all male friends that look like blind werewolves with glowing mouths. A great off-the-wall UK alien flick that I feel was poorly advertised here in the US and has Nick Frost in a small role to boot as a dude who just sells, smokes, and protects weed for his boss in the penthouse. I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

Zombie Hunter (Blu-ray) – The film is part “Mad Max”, part zombie flick with a man who since the fall of mankind has been out in the desert obliterating every zombie around alone. The man comes upon a family of sorts led by a priest (Danny Trejo) after his vehicle is destroyed by a dumbass hillbilly that believes zombies can drive. The priest and the followers believe he can save them from an onslaught and maybe get them to an uninfected island? Problem is the man has too much hate that keeps him alive no matter what. The zombie flick is a cool premise that relies too much on the exploitation aspect but I believe possible lack of money help stare this project in that direction and I would have enjoyed seeing more of Danny Trejo. I give the flick 2 stars.

State

State of Emergency (DVD) – A low budget flick from a duo called “The Clay Brothers” that keeps it creepy and dramatic in this film that I can best compare it to Romero’s “The Crazies”. A man carrying his wife through the woods sets her down for her to die looking at him, then drags her to a nearby farmhouse to watch TV and listen to the radio to figure out what exactly is going on as there was chaos before the accident. Time passes but once he has gained his senses something gets in the farmhouse with it forcing him to kill it. The film never calls them ghouls, zombies, infected, etc., which I believe helps give the film a great creepy atmosphere. The cleverly written film makes you pay attention to what is being said on TV and radio and sucks you in and puts you the viewer in his shoes. The drama of the explosions and the strange things standing outside not moving but waiting motionless for humans make this a must see horror film for all! After this I will keep an eye out for any project that involves “The Clay Brothers”. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

The Invisible (DVD) – A teenager (Nick) who is close to graduating and seems to have his life mapped out by his mom is beaten up after a party one night and left for dead in a sewer drain. Next morning Nick returns to school only to learn no one can see him and he believes he is dead so he tries to haunt the girl that beaten him to possible death? Meanwhile the police investigate and the plot thickens when Nick learns his best friend was involved and the girl’s boyfriend doesn’t want the police sniffing around as he is out on parole and wants to prove to his girlfriend that she needs to listen. The girl haunted by her actions wants to do one good thing in her life and Nick tries to steer her into finding his lifeless body or is it? A pretty good, off the beaten path supernatural flick, that should have ghost enthusiasts scrambling to watch it. I give the flick 3 stars.

Mini-Golf

Mini-Golf Massacre (YouTube) – I continue my dream of watching every film I can get my hands on that has ‘massacre’ in the title. Especially when the film has that kinda “shot on VHS 80s” feel. When Leroy gets fired from the local putt-putt place, he steals the mascot mask and goes on a killing spree. I couldn’t stop laughing at the 31 minute movie as you can see the chainsaw clearly doesn’t have a chain on it. But fuck that shit, grab some friends, some beer, and some pizza and enjoy this horrible fun flick as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Manborg (DVD) – A complete over-the-top nutzoid, stop motion, CGI, anime influenced, mind blowing fantasy film from Steve Kostanski that pits humans vs. Hell’s Armies in the future after Count Draculon wasn’t stopped during a war long ago. In the future, Draculon’s armies have taken over and most of mankind is gone or underground. During the war long ago a man fighting Count Draculon was believed killed but became an experiment called, “Manborg” awakens in this hellish future. Manborg may be the one hope for mankind as he is taken into custody after killing a guard who was chasing an escape prisoner aka an extra from Mortal Kombat. Once in Hell’s prison he must fight in the arena. With help from other prisoners they soon begin killing all of Hell’s Armies. Soon Manborg learns to harness his powers after escaping and Manborg and friends begin an all-out assault on Count Draculon! The film is literally like a comic book geek’s brain exploded on screen. I enjoyed this completely unique and crazy film but feel there will be some fans that just won’t understand what exactly the film is and dislike it. I give this Mr. Kostanski’s amazing effort 3 ½ stars.

 

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (DVD) – Film version of the cult show in 1996 that spawned or influenced many recent internet horror hosts and podcasts that has a man Michael J. Nelson trapped in space and his two robots stuck in space made to watch horrible old sci-fi films. For this film version of the show they are made to watch “This Island Earth”. MST3K is the type of programming that has a rabid fan base that keeps its spirit alive now for years even though the show has been canceled. It’s a program clearly marketed for film geeks or stupid people who drink beer like myself. I give the film version of the original TV program 4 stars and may the influence of Michael J. Nelson and the robots live on.

 

Oblivion (DVD) – Its 2077, and earth has been ravaged by after effects of dropping nukes during a war with aliens in 2017 and the moon was half destroyed causing weather related catastrophes. Tom Cruise plays Jack, part of a two person team who is trying to protect these water things in the sky, keep maintenance up on drones that supposedly protect the planet from scavengers. The Scavengers are what came and started war with earth. While out on patrol Jack propels himself deep into a library to check for a down drone only to be attacked, but before that finds a book and reads a passage. Jack tries to bring it up to his partner but she wants none of it which is why he never tells her of the dreams that haunt him nightly. Soon Jack questions whether he wants to leave earth since he is supposed to report back to a colony that is on one of Saturn’s moons. Jack begins to question his dreams and exactly what he is doing. Oblivion is a futuristic film that starts off innocently enough as your big budget garbage but uses misdirection in its alien storyline to make the film very interesting. Plus, Tom Cruise gives a performance that reminded me he wasn’t always a dick in the industry and can still be someone worth watching in film. I give the film 3 stars.

 

Curse of Chucky (DVD) – Brad Dourif not only comes back for this sequel but his daughter stars in it, I’m in! Number six in the series plays like a regular bloody series sequel with Chucky on a killing spree but even with a little meaner streak if possible. Surprised there hasn’t been a remake yet? I sat back to watch as they stick with the slasher formula that worked in the past to give Chucky new life again as he arrives in a mail package with no return address. Soon a mother is dead and a daughter in a wheelchair is left picking up the pieces and wondering what the hell happened? Family comes to help and the fun begins. Chucky’s killing spree is something we have seen before but the whole time it felt different and different it was once you learn why Chucky arrived anonymous to this house and that’s where the real fun begins. If anything good comes out of the latest Chucky film it proves not everything has to be remade in order to be entertaining… I give it 2 ½ stars and just like to say thank you to Universal for giving the series another chance before that eventual reboot?

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Episode 98 is now up folks!

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EPISODE 98

 

This week our patron saint of race relations T-Shirt Joe comes back to the show with a vengeance to put us two crackers in our place by laying down the law on what is and is not racist.  Along the way we talk about degenerate gamblers, what to and what not to do in Mexico, Boardwalk Empire, and we take a small break from the regular horror movies to discuss our favorite comedies.  So don’t be a racist and listen to this episode.  It’s one of our best. And with every download you will be entered into our drawing to get to drink from THE FIRE HOSE!!!!!!!

 

http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #309

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Gross Movie Reviews #309

 

By Tim Gross

 

West of Memphis (DVD) – A great documentary about the now legendary story of injustice of three youths who are now almost twenty years older and finally seeing the sun, sky, etc., outside of the prison walls. The film takes you through the tragic events that unfolded in West Memphis when a couple of children went missing. When there was no person that clues pointed to at the time, authorities immediately blamed three teenagers that were considered outsiders at the time. The misguided justice ruined many lives besides the now famous “West Memphis Three”, but parents of the missing and murdered children. Theories have been thrown out there; a couple HBO films called “Paradise Lost” were made about the horrible event, even people accused of the murders has been proven innocent. If you believe they did it or not this documentary point out what is really wrong with the justice system and the people who have to have too much power. Great film as I give a perfect 4 stars.

 

The Raid: Redemption (DVD) – You haven’t seen all action films until you have witnessed not watched, witnessed this non-stop action film. A task force of police are gathered and on their way to a high-rise building to bring down a drug lord. One problem the drug lord runs the whole building including security, has fellow patrons living there, and other gangs have died horrible deaths just trying to kill the drug lord. Once inside one man realizes they are trapped and knows they may not escape until he finds out his brother is the drug lord’s right hand man. Fun, brutal, fucking off the wall action you have never seen before. I have to give the film 4 stars.

 

Bering Sea Beast (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Its cheesy, its gory, it’s hilarious… Sea Vampires! Fishermen have to fight off creatures that look like the underwater version of the creature in “Graveyard Shift”! And it blows up in UV light! I give it 2 ½ stars, thank god for SyFy Channel.

 

Men in Black 3 (DVD) – Agent K must go back in time to help save Agent J as alien finds a time machine to go back and kill him so an invasion to destroy earth happens. The more I watched this film the more I kept asking myself why there was a sequel 15 years later… I give it 2 stars.

Hypothermia

Hypothermia (DVD) – Michael Rooker and his family go to the family cabin to ice fish on their vacation. Trying to not offend or ruin a perfect winter day Rooker’s son explains to him he and his girlfriend is going into the peacecore for two years. Rooker being okay with it notices something weird in the water below and that is when the fishing lines get pulled in. After talking to a father/son duo ice fishing they start to think there may be something bigger under the ice? A cool creature film with a shitting looking creature but some awesome gore effects, plus it stars Michael Rooker. I give it 2 ½ stars.

anthropophagous2000

Anthropophagous 2000 (DVD/YouTube) – Imagine a horrible no money independent remake made in 1999 that stars as Kyle Poling put it, “a bootleg George Eastman”. The movie is poorly done and was surprised it claims to pay homage rather than just try to be a direct sequel? Movies like this are what makes horror fans questioned what is considered movies these days… I give it 0 stars as it may be one of the worst films I have sat through.

 

Stonados (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Underwater volcanoes cause a disturbance in the atmosphere that picks up shit like Plymouth Rock and hurl it towards the Boston Harbor. I know the film is a big bag of poop but someone has to review this shit! It all can’t be Sea Vampires, Tara Reid, and Sharknados. I give it 1 star.

 

Freedom Strike (DVD) – Michael Dudikoff and commandoes take on Iraq in this film from 1998 that comes off like a cheap boring version of “Delta Force”. Dudikoff needs to get someone to cast him in the next ‘Expendables’ film. I give it 1 star.

 

Black Roses (DVD) – Filmmaker John Fasano fresh off “Rock ‘N’ Roll Nightmare” makes a horror film about a heavy metal band named “Black Roses” who produces music in the studio and want to begin their live concert career but want to work out some bugs. Meanwhile the parent groups, church groups, etc., are protesting the first concert in Mill Basin history. The parent groups want you to believe the band ‘Black Roses’ is evil and they will possess the teenagers and make them worship Satan. Which the sad part is the parent group was right in this case. This film has some cool looking creatures, cool music, and actually captures a piece of history of what it was like in the late 80s with parent groups and heavy metal music. If you are over 30, sit back and enjoy a fun horror flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

Insidious (DVD) – The horror film starts off calmly and creepy like “Poltergeist” where a couple of three children buy a new home and the middle child suffers a fall in the attic. What seems like a small bump to the head turns into something else as the kid does not wake up in the morning for school. Doctors don’t know what it is since it isn’t a coma and the parents don’t have answers. A few months go by and the mother begins to see and hear things, ghosts. The family moves to another home only to be followed by the same spirits. Soon grandma brings a friend in to explain the kid is fine but his spirit is somewhere else and other evil spirits are trying to get in since the father is haunted. The film starts off great but fizzles when it tries for its surprise ending. I give it 2 stars as I expected a little better from James Wan.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Episode 97 is now up…

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This week Kyle and Tim sit down to talk to Todd Jason Falcon Cook.  The director of Death Metal Zombies and owner of Screamtime Films.  Along the way we talk about what we’ve seen this week,  Kyle’s morbid fascination with the bride of Frankenstein and Doctor Mindbender,  Razor Ramon, Tim explodes Full Moon’s website to bits, The new Hobbit movie,  and all the other normal ramblings.  Also Kyle had a spotting from Childs from The Thing running through the winter wasteland in Indiana.

http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

 

EPisode 97

Episode 96 is up for you holiday festivities…

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http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

This week John Portanova comes back to chew the fat with Tim and Kyle. We talk about comedies and all sorts of other stuff like the time Kyle saw the skesies in real life.  Seattle’s awesome Scarecrow Video,  the poltergeist films, the weirdness that is Silent Night, Deadly Night 4, Vomit monsters, The greatness that is William Friedkin’s Cruising,  Tim sees Return to Nuke Em’ High and sparks Kyle’s jealousy.  James Bond bad guys and we talk about 3 awesome comedies. So pack a lunch because this is a behemoth of a podcast clocks in at just under 4 hours…. And remember NEVER, EVER, touch Buddy Revell.   

 

Episode 95

From Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

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Santa Bloodbaths

 

 

http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

 

This year was pretty awesome. I want to say thanks and merry christmas to all the people who guest hosted and the fine folks we had the great opportunity to interview. That includes Jon Cross, Joe Garcia, Mike Haushalter, Josh Teeter, John Portanova, Steve Benningfield, Rodrigo Quast, Daniel Boyd, El DeBarge, Axl Kay, Moe Porne, Parker Bowman, Craig Everett Earl. Thanks to Ed Quillin for drawing some awesome stuff for us and the site. Al Magliochetti, And Anthony J Valbiro, Todd Jason Falcon Cook, and Jeff Burr for doing some great interviews with us. Thanks to all the people who wrote in and thanks for listening. And last but not least Thanks to Tim Gross for talking a bunch of poop every weekend. we will keep doing this for the next year, unless Tim dies when his bookshelf full of Full Moon flicks falls on him and he dies.

Gross Movie Reviews #308

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Gross Movie Reviews #308

 

By Tim Gross

 

Return to Class of Nuke ’Em High Volume One (Theater/Blu-ray) – Recently Uncle Lloyd decided it was time to revisit the classic series and revive it with an entry that goes the route of the latest “Star Trek” films of being: a remake, sequel, and everything in-between. You know the film is going to be epic when Stan Lee is the first face you see and a few minutes later Lemmy from Motorhead is the president of the United States and he has subtitles. Sometime has past and society has changed and it isn’t cool to make fun of toxic waste and nuclear energy. So now, Lloyd Kaufman the president of “Tromorganic Foodstuff Products” and he supplies most of Jersey and the new Tromaville High School with food. But this is only a subplot of the film as the film revolves around two girls’ name Lauren and Chrissy who are learning to get along. But when a leak of Tromorganic green liquid gets in the school lunch soon the drama department becomes “The New Cretins”! And then no one is safe as they terrify the school and its students but soon Lauren and Chrissy have odd dreams or nightmares of having giant dicks and beating up The New Cretins. The film is a lot of fun and is reminder of how good the original is, was, and always will be … but I also believe this is a film for the new generation of Troma fans which will look upon on this great flick just like the first generation of Troma fans look at: The Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke ‘Em High. Of course Troma believes nothing is untouchable as they make fun of: House Foreclosures, Jerry Sandusky, CNN covering school shootings, illegal downloading, blogging, people with diabetes, the glee club, Obama Care! If that wasn’t enough Debbie Rochon, Cigar face, and quite a few other characters from past Troma films make an appearance so pay close attention. The movie was perfect and one of the best films of 2013. The only thing I could find to complain about is of course they shot so much fun stuff for the film they had to split it into two films. I give this newest classic from Troma 4 stars.

 

Dark Shadows (DVD) – Johnny Depp brings the character of Barnabus Collins to life in this film adaption of a 70s daytime television cult favorite. It’s 1972, and Mr. Collins has been asleep for a very long time only to wake up and find out his family business is in shambles and the witch that cursed him is still alive and trying to get rid of his descendants by any means necessary. But Barnabus is not all about sucking blood from people’s necks as he would like the curse to be lifted to live out his life. The movie is nor good or bad more of a time filler until you find something better. I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Beneath (Chiller TV/DVD) – Five teenagers have just graduated high school and want to have one last party before they go their separate ways. They decide they want to boat across the lake but only Johnny knows they shouldn’t because of the legend that lives in the lake. Persuaded by the girl he wants but can never have to help them get across things go bad when they decide to take a swim once out in the middle of the lake. That is when the film becomes more than just an ordinary lake creature film and the characters bicker about who should live and who shouldn’t so others can survive. By the end the creature feature becomes a mean spirited story of what teenagers can be like these days? It is a little different; a little bit interesting, a creature feature that rethinks the usual formula of your usual present day killer fish monster film! I give the flick 3 stars and believe more horror fans need to give this a second look.

 

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (DVD) – Robert Downey Jr. reprises his role as the eccentric investigator Sherlock Holmes as he must deal with his companion Watson getting married and not wanting to solve any mysteries any longer. But when one man who believes he is smarter than anyone in the world involves Watson and his new wife, he must help Holmes solve and save the world that cause world war. I enjoy Robert Downey Jr. as an actor and enjoyed the first film but believe this entry was more to just fulfill a contract more than adding just inspiring to the series. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Skyfall (DVD) – The latest in the new Bond films starring David Craig as 007 dies at the beginning of the film or thought to be dead when trying to stop a man who is stealing secret identities of agents undercover for MI6. Several months go by and no James Bond and that’s when the cyber-terrorism begins as names begin to leak out on YouTube and it’s all aimed at M for something she did in the past. Bond seeing this on a television far from his old home feels he is needed to get back in the secret agent game and help M. M knows even if Bond is in poor condition he is the best chance to save MI6 and bringing down those who are creating the cyber-terrorism attacks. The film goes full circle, excites old school Bond fans, and begins anew. If you were a fan of Sean Connery or a fan of Roger Moore like I was this Bond brings you more interested than ever about what’s the next Bond film?! If you were any type of Bond fan do yourself a favor and see this film as I give it 4 stars.

 

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (DVD) – A children’s story with a new horror twist to it. Apparently, Hansel and Gretel were orphaned so they wouldn’t be sacrificed and grew up to hate and hunt witches for a living. The film asks if you the viewer checks your brain at the door and enjoy the crazy over the top storyline with shitty computer effects. The film was a little better than a pile of shit I thought it would be but I believe this project should have been a SyFy Channel exclusive as I believe horror fans would have been more accepting and would have at least tuned in to watch it when it premiered? I give it 2 stars.

 

Zombie Nightmare (DVD) – Jon Mikl Thor stars as a man who has just been killed by some young party goers who just poured out of a high class bar. Thor’s mother is owed a favor by the local voodoo witch in town who brings his back to life to seek revenge. Did I mention we have Adam West as a detective and Tia Carrere as one of the young party goers? And yes its 1986… It’s very bad but in such a great “USA Up All Night” way where you are waiting for Rhoda Shear to cut in every ten to fifth-teen minutes. I give it 2 stars.

Hellinger

Hellinger (DVD) – A little girl named Melissa 20 years ago is eating with her father who despises her. He despises Melissa so much he taunts her with her favorite stuffed animal until Melissa wishes him to be dead. Then evil is born. Within seconds a strange dark figure appears and ends Melissa’s father in a very gruesome way. 20 years has past and Melissa is still afraid of the darkness and believes what came to murder her father that night 20 years ago still sits and waits in the darkness for her. Melissa still distraught by the darkness is seeing a doctor to help her through her past of what she calls the darkness. But let’s not forget Melissa now all grown up may be still afraid of the darkness but has time to boink the fuck out of her boyfriend before he becomes a gory mess at the hands of the strange darkness. The film plays out like an odd independent homage of “Hellraiser” that may have been misunderstood in 1997 but if made today with a little more money I could see a huge following for the strange film about a priest named Father Donaldson who had his own ideas of how his religion should be followed. Gore, boobs, and strange shit about darkness makes this shot on video flick a must see for the fans of independent cinema as a give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Carnage Road (DVD) – “Hellinger” filmmaker Massimilano Cerchi directs, John Polonia wrote the screenplay, and the editor is Mark Polonia make this modern shot on video slasher interesting enough. The film centers around four photography students who go out to the Nevada desert to get the best pictures for their project. Little they know “Quiltface” is awaiting their arrival. Quiltface is a legend about a disfigured person who lives out in the desert killing those who get lost there. Or if you go by what I say: its Leatherface’s second cousin on his mum’s side and has the fat bootleg version of Bill Moseley to help, as he only goes into town to get shit paper. And these two enjoy collecting fresh body parts especially if they are stupid college students who don’t believe in the legend of Quiltface. I give the shot on video flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Better Off Dead (DVD) – A very offbeat comedy from 1985 that stars John Cusack as Lane, a high school teenager who can’t catch a break as he can’t make the ski team and his girlfriend (Amanda Wyss) Beth just broke up with him with the ski team president. So Lane spends a lot of the film trying to come up with funny ways to commit suicide until Monique the foreign exchange student from across the street takes notice and wants to help him out of his funk of trying to commit suicide or trying to find a way to impress Beth again. Meanwhile Lane’s best friend Charles Demar isn’t helping much as he just wants good drugs in their lame ass town. The film is a great 80s flick that sums up a lot about the decade and this film is still considered a huge fan favorite. I give the great flick 4 stars.

 

Zombie Night (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Anthony Michael Hall dips his toe into the lower budgeted zombie genre with his role as a father trying to protect his daughter and wife (Darryl Hannah) from hordes of flesh eaters. Take it or leave it kinda of film that was kinda fun to watch Anthony Michael Hall fucking up zombies to save his family. Too bad there was no Judd Nelson. I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

Episode 95 is up!

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episode 95

 

Since Skype was being a total butthole last week and we were not able to put out a new show we bring you this unheard show from about a year and a half ago.  It’s all about sequels, the good ones, the bad ones, the ones we want, and the ones we don’t.  Also we are joined by Jon Cross as he comes up with the best way to do an Evil Dead part 4.  So enjoy this blast from the past.  And look forward to next week’s episode as we are joined by Jon Portanova to cover The Last American Virgin, 3 O’clock High, and Dogma.  

http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

 

COMMENTARY TRACK for the classic Humanoids From The Deep!

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Because we were bored late on a Saturday night. And it was Josh’s birthday. And because this film has it all! Cool Creatures, Hot naked chicks, Amazing special effects, gore, awesome perms on dudes, puppets, And MONSTER RAPE! The crew decided that as a sort of an apology for Skype being a total butthole the week before we would give you a little something extra.  So here it is. A commentary track for Humanoids from the deep featuring Tim, Kyle, and Josh…….  Did we mention Monster Rape?

http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

 

Humanoids

Gross Movie Reviews #307

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Gross Movie Reviews #307

 

By Tim Gross

 

Wake in Fright (VHS/YouTube) – Well here goes an odd film of sorts from Australia, 1971. The film stars a crazy drunken Donald Pleasance who believes he knows how to get through life for free but that’s just part of this dramatic serious film. John Grant is a teacher on vacation that seems unhappy with the state of his job and life mainly because in this time period teachers are bonded and need a thousand bucks to buy themselves out. During a layover waiting for the next train in a small and rough mining town, Mr. Grant takes in the sights along with the gambling and drinking. Days pass and Mr. Grant soon finds he is ready to shoot himself. Donald Pleasance is a highlight of this dramatic film but that story is far more interesting as it gives you a look of one teacher’s perceptive in 1971 Australia. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Raymond

Raymond Did It (DVD) – A Travis Legge independent film that revolves around two brothers. One brother, Bryce is your normal teenager, the other, Ray is mentally handicapped but the brothers hang together at all times or when mom says so. Well the brothers go out with Paige and Tammy and others to the park. Paige constantly gives Raymond a hard time until Bryce steps in and Tammy speaks up but a scuffle breaks out and Bryce falls into a tree and dies accidentally. Everyone except Tammy go in on a plan to blame Raymond. Six years have pass and all the friends are getting together at a party. Even Tammy goes who seems to be a recluse since the accident and it all takes place on the day Raymond escapes from authorities. Tammy still relives the tragic day as all her friends simply forgot about it as in their words “the re re deserved it”! Well guess what Raymond is pissed and wants revenge. We have death by washing machine (aka warshing machine if you live in Pittsburgh), very cool death by lawnmower, and we have a death of a dude where we see the aftermath of him lying on a shower curtain on the floor in blood with the shower curtain protecting the floor from all the fake blood. The independent film doesn’t go full slasher mode as Travis allows his talent to give the film some soul of not going down the same road slasher film fans are use too when watching such a flick. I love the gore, the direction of the film was brilliant, and filmmaker Travis Legge really made you feel for the characters of Tammy and Raymond. Like I said an independent slasher film with soul and as a horror movie fan I believe you can’t ask for much more. I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars and did I mention death by lawnmower was pretty fucking awesome? You can purchase the film and find out more at: https://www.facebook.com/RaymondDidIt and http://www.amazon.com/Raymond-Did-It/dp/B00B691NV4 .

 

Grave Halloween (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Another supported horror film on SyFy Channel that fails to be interesting as a college girl is haunted by dreams of her real mother and decides to travel where she committed suicide. Not only does she believe it will help her get past the suicide but allows her best friend to do a documentary on it. Oh yeah she died in a supposedly haunted forest in Japan. I just have that feeling if the film was done more in the vein of Asian cinema instead this American bastard version it would have been more interesting. I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Resident Evil: Retribution (DVD) – If the films before this didn’t prove it then this film made sure for the stupid people you understand that Paul W.S. Anderson has some weird fantasy of his wife fighting monsters and evil corporate types in slow motion all while wearing leather and sharing it to the world. Mr. Anderson I rather just see the sex tapes not this poor excuse for another sequel that just baffles me how Hollywood hasn’t wanted to remake this whole fucking franchise? And who is giving you the budget to film these things you call films? Outside of part three this film goes about its way of insulting any fan of the original scary ass video game series of the late 90s who may still be paying attention. I watched the film for free and feel I should get money back anyway. Do yourself a favor horror fans stop supporting, go watch the two animated features, and start email blasting Hollywood why Alexander Aja hasn’t got the call to remake this series yet? I give it crap because it is crap!

 

The Aftermath (VHS) – A lower budget, mutants, and three some years before ‘Def-Con 4’ is this sci-fi flick about two astronauts who come back to earth after a very long mission only to find we all fucking nuke each other. While trying to come to grips with the situation the astronauts try to make the best of it until they have a run in with a wannabe cult leader named Cutter played by Sid Haig who has his followers kill the men and keep the women and eventually kill the children when they get annoying. If you are able to lay your hands on a copy of the film it does have a couple interesting extras from the filmmakers and some from the Corman group talking about the film. I give the apocalypse sci-fi flick 2 stars.

 

Mr. Nice Guy (DVD) – Jackie Chan is just a cook… on a cooking show in Melbourne and gets mixed up with a reporter who just happens to film incriminating evidence against a crime boss. Soon Jackie is running through malls hitting people with food, jumping onto trucks, almost getting his nuts cut off by a band saw. A good Jackie Chan film but from one of his best films you need to see as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Saturday Morning Massacre (DVD) – A film that pretty much tries to make the Scooby-Doo gang a little older and at least admit they do drugs go to a mansion to investigate ghosts that have haunted the old place for years. If you get pass the complete Scooby-Doo rip-off you might enjoy the payoff in the end or just go get high and watch Scooby-Doo and Blair Witch Project on dual screens to get the same effect. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Cruising (DVD) – A very interesting crime thriller starring Al Pacino who is a young police officer who is given the chance to make detective. But he must go undercover for Paul Sorvino into New York’s dark underbelly of the gay community to find an unknown gay serial killer who keeps stacking up bodies around the city. The film does not go your typical route of normal cop thrillers as it has Pacino’s character really get involved into an unknown world of gay bars, hook-ups, etc. Pacino puts in a great performance as his character is even showing he has problems sexually with his girlfriend when he has exposed himself to so much he did not know about gay males. The film is smart, interesting (especially for its time of New York’s glory days and before HIV-positive), and leaves you wondering if Pacino’s character get the right guy? If you are the type film fanatic always looking for a different film, do yourself a favor and watch this flick as I got to thank Russ Rutter for this recommendation. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

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Also you now can purchase the co-directed project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

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