Gross Movie Reviews #644

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Quadrant (Full Moon) – Charles Band is back in the director’s chair again with a movie that deals with AI and if yinz seen ‘Aimee: The Visitor’ then fans will quite enjoy this computerized treat. The film revolves around two professors who have come up with a revolutionary process called “Quadrant”. A process that no one has funded yet but they believe using their experimental helmet and computers hooked to a person’s brain and connected to an AI world that allows said person to get past their mental issues or get past the fears that haunt them. They mean well with their Quadrant universe firmly believing this will help patients embrace and defeat their fears but it needs volunteers? In comes Erin, a beautiful young woman who is extremely obsessed with Jack the Ripper! She hears of the experiment and wants to be a part of it. Erin is different from the other patients as she does not fear being a part of the universe as she wants to live it, feel it, and live in it. With each treatment Erin embraces Quadrant that much more blurring the lines of reality and the Jack the Ripper AI world she wants to be in. It quickly becomes too late when you cannot decide who is more demented: Erin wanting to murder to feel like the famous serial killer she obsesses over or the professors knowing what Erin is capable of as they have experienced this side effect before? Quadrant is absolutely another entertaining project under the direction of Charles Band. Band has embraced filming in and around Cleveland, Ohio with a small casts, interesting concepts, and the cool vibe of Full Moon finding their second or third wind in bringing fans fun Full Moon projects they want to see as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

Cemetery Man (Blu-ray) – For most horror movie fans this 1994 Italian classic from Michele Soavi is known as Dellamorte Dellamore but for American fans the name was changed to Cemetery Man when it landed in the U.S. Well Severin Films you went and did it!!! They put together one hell of Blu-ray package of the classic as for some horror fans they declare it to be the last great Italian horror film? It has been a good many of years since I last watched it as I still had my grainy bootleg unrated version. By some chance you were living under a rock and have never heard of this perfectly hilarious zombie film let’s dig into it. Dellamorte and his assistant are employed at the cemetery to take care of “the returners”. Dellamorte believes it could be end of the world but the select few in the village know this is an important job that could only be done by Dellamorte. Simply he is in charge of putting the dead back in their graves after rising from the dead. Blow to the head every time! Things get real interesting when Dellamorte meets an absolutely beautiful woman only known as “She” after burying her older husband and falling in love as she dies suddenly also. Dellamorte begins killing more of the living than the dead without repercussions and keeps running into different versions of his former love. This zombie film is super bizarre and beautiful at the same time as it balances between love story and hardcore zombie film that feels like a weird fever dream at times. The music, the colors, the music were all made for this to get the special treatment for horror fans to enjoy. But also it is loaded with extras: commentary with Michele Soavi and Gianni Romoli, interviews with Rupert Everett, Michele Soavi, and Anna Falchi along with a cool archival makin of segment. This is Severin Films crown jewel of their catalog is a must own for horror fans as I give it 4 stars.

Once Upon a Time in Amityville (On Demand) – Welcome kids to entry #62 of the Amityville series as Mark Polonia this time around sets it in 1846 when all the horror began and Amityville just became a town. Mr. Polonia calls on the usual suspects to come in and help (Jeff Kirkendall and Tim Hatch who are two of the many Polonia suspects) as two bounty hunters come upon a new town of Amityville looking for a wanted man they believe tried to hide in town? Immediately the bounty hunters are a little unsettled as the town seems a little strange but unsure why. Once they learn the criminal they had been tracking was strung up for a crime (or evil sacrifice) in town they must deal with a town that believes in evil. Compared to a lot of the entries this was actually kind of refreshing but will say the old west was never this clean but gotta give Polonia and crew credit for finding a great location to use for the film. Surprisingly entry #62 is a solid watch and believe Indy horror fans more than mainstream horror fans will quite enjoy the fresh take as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

I Puke on Your Grave (VHS) – An hour long movie that has random scenes of murder from horror films that you may or may not have seen? Not totally sure what this project was going for as there was no horror host or ‘Faces of Death’ aspect to it as I can only give it a ½ star.

Lowlifes (Tubi) – A simple story of an average family on their annual corny road trip in the old RV who runs into two backwoods types. Before you say “I have seen this before” they try to make it very uncomfortable like this average family is gonna get raped or murdered or both in the first 15 minutes? But hold on a second there is car trouble and we the viewer quickly learn the tables are turned in this project as the average family from L.A. are vicious cannibal bastards! I quite enjoyed this take on a genre or cliché that has maybe seen its better days so thank you for this as I gotta give this project 3 stars.

Cookies for Christmas (DVD) – This short film is a wonderful take on mixing horror and the Hallmark movie formula as Lacey a young woman returns from the big city to little town Christmas time. Unbeknownst to Lacey and the small fictional holiday town are about to get a horrific visit from Santa Claus! Filmmaker Adam Raynes who is behind the project may have something here in this Hallmark inspired horror as he understood all the ugly cute holiday plot points. Kudos hitting on all these main plot points of a Hallmark holiday film as I believe you may wanna take a second crack at expanding this short film into something bigger but just as fun as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Only Ones (DVD) – First off I gotta give credit for the misdirection of this film as a character tells the story of Boneface trying to scare friends as they travel to a secluded cabin in the woods. Six friends just trying to scare the shit out of each other, drink beer, and enjoy quiet time in nature. But once shrooms are introduced that is where it all goes downhill for the group as someone is shot by accident. The friends try to discuss and clean up the mess but fight over if authorities should be involved as it just snowballs from one thing to another. There is solid structure to this film as it plays out more like a thriller than a straight up horror film. This feels like something that may get a small cult following on a streaming platform sooner than later as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Guerrilla Dogs (DVD) – Another BPO Films project from Blake O’Donnell that just had me laughing a lot because it stars the present day Indy version of the “Three Stooges” with a little more thoughtfulness in storytelling from Blake O’Donnell, Ben Dietels, and Ryan Lintner. Their unique style is once again on display as they are “The Keepers of the Cause” and holding a man captive for ransom as he could be important for “The Effect”. These weekend warrior types believe they are doing right by hiding out in the woods and keeping Mr. Money captive. The films runs a little long but the boys go from one hilarious scenario to the next as they try to live off the land and keep this man until they get their ransom. Literally this is one of those movies you never heard of but would be happy when you did as you witness the hilarity as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

BPO Films Mixtape Volume 2 (DVD) – The three ultra talented dudes (Ben Dietels, Ryan Lintner, and Blake O’Donnell) made a series of short films over the years that deal with garbage, thumb wars, sex, realtors, a pizza guy, drinking on St. Patrick’s Day, etc. The fun never stops with these guys as it seems they are constantly filming something so get ready to laugh your ass off as I give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Attack of the Corn Zombies (DVD) – It is the 1960s in a small Midwest town where they are having their annual corn festival. This past year some folks used an experimental fertilizer on the crops to help them grow faster but really didn’t do as advertised. But unbeknownst to the townsfolk all the corn was contaminated by this new stuff. Quickly after ingesting the corn people become zombies who attack those who haven’t. Now a small group of folks are just trying to survive the corn zombies so they can get out of town. I enjoyed this Indy zombie film as the first key was they understood “you are not reinventing the zombie genre”. Second key of this film being entertaining was I enjoyed the corn growing out of the infected… that was really a nice touch that some may never would have given a second look. Third key was having a solid Indy cast that felt like everyone was casted correctly. The film had a vibe of the 70s cult film ‘Toxic Zombies’ meeting Jim Roberts’ ‘Welcome to Deer Creek’ as I gotta give this Indy zombie project 3 out of 4 stars.

Air Fryer Slaughter (DVD) – The Matthew Mark Hunter and Matt Skinner project about a killer air fryer is finally out there for horror fans to enjoy. It is the simple story of an air fryer going rogue for not much reason other than it is hungry for human flesh and … apparently sex? The film is full of Indy names and hilarious infomercials as the air fryer hops around town after it murders someone. As the bodies pile up the cops refuse to believe its prime suspect would be an air fryer as it slaughters its way through most of the cast. When the appliance isn’t killing someone or giving a blowjob, the air fryer is trying to help sell merch ‘Evil Bong’ style! Even though the film gives off that ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ vibe it does run 20 to 25 minutes way to long like the film ‘Rubber’ (movie about a killer car tire) and felt like it gets away from what the film was supposed to be about halfway through. Just my opinion but I gotta give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Bed Bugs (DVD) – A Matthew Mark Hunter project from 2021 where a group of children head out for some trick or treating. At each house they get a scary story as Matthew and crew check all the boxes as the kids get to hear about the boogeyman, zombies, a kid seeking revenge, the devil, and vampires. This is a nice project to introduce some of the younger crowd to Indy horror as I give this film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #466

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Gross Movie Reviews #466

A Meowy Halloween (DVD) – Steve Rudzinski digs deep into his comedy bag to bring you this little gem about a talking cat named Whiskers and its owner Wally. Wally just happens to be a police detective and a man whose family was cursed many years ago. If Wally isn’t spitting candy corn out of the car he is busy with his stakeout of a possible witch in the neighborhood. But Whiskers as much scarier things going on at home as the cat believes the strange things that are happening are the work of a haunting. And Whiskers will stop at nothing to have the ghosts removed as long as Wally’s credit card covers the cost? Yes, the movie is completely silly but once again Steve and crew prove it doesn’t all have to be about horror as they pull a family film out of thin air. If by some chance you been living under a rock and have not seen any of Steve’s movies it is time for you to visit www.silverspotlightfilms.moonfruit.com as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

 

American Poltergeist: The Curse of Lilith Ratchet (DVD) – The curse was me sitting through this dull ass flick. But anyway a couple young women steal a shrunken head and sell it to a so-called paranormal expert. He uses the head for PR stunt for his upcoming show. The expert, Hunter Perry, gets attendees to play hot potato with the shrunken head and once eliminated from the game Lilith Ratchet soon comes to eliminate them in real life. Oh this horrific as I give it one star. The film isn’t as bad as it is dull.

 

Urban Warriors (YouTube) – Just another Italian post-apocalyptic flick where three research techs survive a nuclear war in their underground lab. They dig their asses out of the underground lab only to find things have changed. The world is fucked and it is filled with cannibalistic, leather-clad, motorcycle gangs where normal people are hard to come by. But that does not stop Brad of the research team to try to survive and save the human race. If you are lucky you get to see this film with the Michael Dudikoff introduction as this flick lacks the fun that most Italian post-apocalyptic films are when watching. This film suffers from “it could have been better even with its low budget” but hey shit happens as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Galaxy of the Dinosaurs (DVD) – One of JR Bookwalter’s early 90s films made for nearly nothing that has a group of space travelers trapped on the unknown world of Gurgon. Or just somewhere out in the middle of the woods of Somewhere, Ohio. The space travelers must deal with the dinosaurs that are trying to eat them as they must figure a way off the planet. A hilariously bad movie that apparently has a few stories behind it from I have heard from some Bookwalter fans as I give it one star.

 

Godmonster of Indian Flats (YouTube/DVD) – Possibly one of the most random films about a mutant sheep attacking a small town. This western horror flick is about a young farm dude named Eddie and a university professor named Dr. Clemens. A giant bloody embryo is found next to Eddie in the sheep pin after a bad night on the town. Dr. Clemens convinces Eddie to take it to his lab so he can research it. But soon it mutates, hatches, and terrorizes the small western town as they were going to use it as a sideshow attraction to make money for the town. The movie isn’t real good but the monster is actually really cool looking and makes the film entertaining enough to stick it out as I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Ground Zero (DVD) – A film somewhat based on fact has a second generation cameraman Harvey getting mixed up with the royal commission in 1984. They are investigating the claims of aborigines being left in the way of the blasts from nine A-bombs during the late 50s into the 60s. Harvey doesn’t pay too much attention to this until the government comes knocking at his door knowing his father was the cameraman for the tests. And his father may have hidden away some incriminating evidence of the event somewhere in an old film can. Mr. Denton gets neck deep into the investigating after he finds out his father was murdered twenty years ago and believes his answer is out in the desert where his father’s old friend lives. Donald Pleasence happy to see the young Denton explains the events and how his father got mixed up with it. In the end Harvey’s effort is useless but the ending of what happened to the lost footage makes the movie that much more interesting as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Once Upon a Time at Christmas (DVD) – December 14th marks the day that Santa and his Miss Claus begin their murder spree in Woodridge, New York. The small town police have trouble piecing together why the murders are taking place. But when they figure out it the murders are traced to the 12 days of Christmas they have the clue they needed for the killer Santa. Apparently Nick Conway is a military vet that lost his mind and eventually had a bitter divorce. This leads Nick looking for his daughter so they can be a family again. Another holiday slasher to add to your favorites list when Christmas rolls around as I give it 2 stars.

 

Future Zone (DVD) – For those who pay attention this B-movie sequel to “Future Force” have David Carradine’s character John Tucker facing off with a drug lord. John’s son Billy travels 30 years from the future to help his father live another day and bring down the drug lord. The film has it all David A. Prior directing, Charles Napier is the mayor, and Carradine using a Nintendo power glove to blow things up equals B-movie gold as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Darkside of the Moon (YouTube/DVD) – The year is 2022 and a ship called Spacecore-1 is on a dangerous mission of fixing satellites in orbit. The ship has a malfunction and they drift to the dark side of the moon where communications fail. The crew has about 24 hours to get things up and running again or they will run out of air. As they are floating out in space they come across a NASA shuttle that hasn’t been seen in 30 years. They board it in hopes of using it to fix their ship’s problems only to find a dead body aboard the shuttle. The crew brings it back and several weird things begin to happen to the crew members while they are alone. Who is it? What is it? When the dead body comes to life it seems the devil is among them and this has some connection to the Bermuda Triangle back on Earth. A pretty solid flick that feels like a 80s Corman sci-fi flick but isn’t. One of those films that got lost in the direct-to-video shuffle during the early 90s as I give it 3 stars.

 

Captain Marvel (Theater) – Carol Danvers becomes a powerful superhero by accident when testing a secret plane for an air force scientist. It is set in the 90s and meant to connect Nick Fury, the Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D, and a few other things for the Marvel movie fans. But like the “Thor” films before it the film is mostly just a ‘place holder’ until the real action begins with the next “Avengers” film. “Captain Marvel” is entertaining but not memorable as I give the big popcorn flick 3 stars as it makes me wanting the “Avengers” movie to come sooner than later. Again it’s no “Iron Man” or “Black Panther” but not much is?

 

Aquaman (DVD) – Arthur aka Aquaman must come back home to Atlantis to claim his kingdom before it is taken by his brother and he uses it to declare war on the rest of the world. The movie doesn’t take itself too serious and much more entertaining than the serious DC “Superman” and “Batman” flicks. If that wasn’t enough it does have Dolph Lundgren and Willem Dafoe in important roles which I am always a fan of those guys! DC pay attention yinz did something right here with Aquaman and Wonder Woman as I give this flick 3 ½ stars.

Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse (On Demand) – An absolute fun animated film with not your usual storyline. A young teen Miles Morales is bitten by a spider while working on his artwork in the subway with his uncle. Soon his world is flipped upside down when he meets Peter Parker and he is going to show Miles the ropes of being a Spider-man. But while Parker is fighting Kingpin he dies and Miles promises Peter he will destroy Fisk’s super-collider. Fisk wants his family back so bad he is willing to destroy the city of New York and possibly all of reality. But with the open portal to other realities several Spider-people come from parallel universes and they must help Miles face off against Kingpin and shut down the collider. The story of Miles is perfect as he must now be the Spider-man of his dimension. Two things made this film absolutely perfect for me. First, one of the alternate Spider-men is Peter B. Parker who is mid-40s, divorced, and out of shape. Second, spoiler alert people I finally get an appearance of Spider-man 2099 in a movie! This flick gets four stars all the way and I hope to see a possible sequel or just another story to expand this universe.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

The Master of Italian Horror Davide Melini Returns with Deep Shock

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Award-winning director Davide Melini has a new film, “Deep Shock”, set to be released soon.

“Deep Shock” attempts to pay tribute to the Italian film genre called “giallo” (thrilling). The title is inspired by the most famous horror movies of two of the most important Italian directors: Dario Argento (“Deep Red”) and Mario Bava (“Shock”).

Produced by Luca Vannella (“Avengers”, “Thor”, “Harry Potter”, “Apocalypto”, “Heart of the Sea”), Alexis Continente (Murder on the Orient Express”, “Transformers: The Last Knight”, “Thor”), Vincenzo Mastrantonio (“Titanic”, “Moulin Rouge”, “The Passion of Christ”, “Romeo + Juliet”), Bobby Holland (“The Dark Knight Rises”, “Game of Thrones”, “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows”, “007 – Quantum of Solace”), Ferdinando Merolla (“Troy”, “Gangs of New York”, “Hannibal Rising”), Roberto Paglialunga and shot with the very high end Red Epic Dragon 6K camera, this short film has both the funding and pedigree to be an incredibly polished and professional cinematic experience.

“Deep Shock” stars Muireann Bird, Francesc Pagès, George Bracebridge, Lorna Larkin, Erica Prior and Luis Fernández de Eribe.

Here the synopsis:

Sarah can’t completely overcome the deaths of her grandfather and her older sister. The trauma and lack of sleep cause her to embark on a strange journey of apparitions and murders, apparently caused by her mind…

 

The trailer looks simply amazing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJVeMjjNPfs.

 

Official Website: http://davidemelini.com/DEEPSHOCK

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DeepShockDavideMelini

 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DeepShock_2017

 

IMDB Page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2277640/?ref_=nm_flmg_prd_1

 

We have our “Mad Max” boner party early as some great guests stop by!!!

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On the verge of our most anticipated movie to be released in a long, long time, MAD MAX: FURY ROAD Kyle and Tim are hosting a pre-post-apocalyptic Italian/Filipino boner party.  We welcome our guests JON CROSS, T-SHIRT JOE GARCIA, and RODRIGO QUAST to talk about a slew of post apocalypse MAD MAX rip-offs such as 2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS, ENDGAME, the glorious WHEELS OF FIRE, THE NEW BARBARIANS, and THE BRONX WARRIORS 2.  So sit back, relax, and let this episode waste away the time until FURY ROAD hits the screen and we all squeal with glee.

 

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episode 161

Official Release Date and Artwork Reveal for “POE: Project of Evil”

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POE

 

Italian horror masters re-imagine 7 Edgar Allan Poe tales in this dark, twisted anthology coming to DVD and VOD in May.

 

Brain Damage Films is set to release the English language, Italian-made disturbing horror anthology on DVD and On Demand May 6th across the US and Canada.

 

 

About the Film Following up the successful 2011 film “P.O.E.: Poetry of Eerie”, in which 15 international directors were brought together to recreate 13 different Edgar Allan Poe stories, some of the original filmmakers have regrouped for this newest experiment.

 

While the original film’s focus was the poetic and macabre dimension of the infamous Boston author, this sequel focuses instead on the bloody, violent and disturbing. Stories include ‘The Pit and the Pendulum’, ‘Solo’, ‘Loss of Breath’, ‘The Murders in the Rue Morgue’, ‘The Tell-Tale Heart’, ‘The System of Dr. Tar and Prof. Feather’, and ‘The Premature Burial’… Like you’ve never seen before!

Full Synopsis

In this twisted horror anthology, seven talented Italian directors present their takes on the disturbing tales of Edgar Allan Poe, each in a very personal and modern way.  Prepare to experience the terror of POE! Stories include ‘The Pit and the Pendulum’, ‘Solo’, ‘Loss of Breath’, ‘The Murders in the Rue Morgue’, ‘The Tell-Tale Heart’, ‘The System of Dr. Tar and Prof. Feather’, and ‘The Premature Burial’… It’s Poe like you’ve never seen before!

Official Trailer and More Information:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCLU2VdC6o8

http://braindamagefilms.com/dvd/horror/anthology/poe-project-of-evil/

https://www.facebook.com/PoeProjectOfEvil

Its Italian week on Bloodbaths and Boomsticks… sort of?

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episode 93

It’s Italian week here on the podcast.  And this week we are covering 2 of Italy’s most inexplicable movies.  First we got the fetus chomping walk fest Anthropophagous and its quasi sequel Absurd.  And then from Canada (the Italy of the north) we got the slasher Curtains.  So pull yourself out of traction and snuggle up to your speakers with a heapin’ helpin’ of baby for this episode.  Tell em’ George Eastman sent ya.

 

http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/