Tag Archives: Gross Movie Reviews

Gross Movie Reviews #316

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Gross Movie Reviews #316

 

By Tim Gross

 

Oblivion (DVD) – A great sci-fi/western/comedy off the beaten path type of film from Charles Band and Full Moon back in the mid-90s. It’s the year 3031 and the old west is back again with even a cyborg deputy played by the cool ass Meg Foster! A bad dude named Red Eye played by Andrew Divoff rolls into town of Oblivion for the mere reason to shoot down the town sheriff. Once done, Red Eye and his S&M sidekick Lash plan on taking over the town. The son of the sheriff learns of the news from the undertaker and returns to a town looking for a new sheriff and he believes he isn’t it as his father and he didn’t see eye to eye. Whether Zack wants to or not he must face off with Red Eye in a showdown as lives depend on it. The film has some great moments that include the night scorps and an arm wrestling event that involves a little green puppet monster. This is a film that has been forgotten by most but worth revisiting as Charles Band proved he can do other projects outside of the usual suspects: Puppet Master, Trancers, and Subspecies. The film also stars the likes of Issac Hayes, Julie Newmar, George Takei, Carel Struycken, and Irwin Keyes. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Oblivion 2: Backlash (DVD) – The film continues the storyline of Lash still doing criminal activity but with Red Eye dead she is forced to do everything herself and the new sheriff Zack plans on keeping the town of Oblivion safe. But soon that changes when a bounty hunter played by Maxwell Caulfield flies his ship into town to arrest Lash for something she never did years ago. Zack finds himself between a rock and a hard place when he has to defend Lash but also finds out Red Eye has a brother Jaggar has just landed and wants to find Lash also. The sequel struggles to have the same fun western/sci-fi feel of the first flick and seems at times Charles Band maybe shouldn’t have stretch the storyline to a second film… But if you watched the first film you need to see the second film to see how it ends as I give the film 2 stars.

 

Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong (DVD) – The mish-mash flick may never have lived up to the hyped but Charles Band goes all out to market the film any way possible as I got mine in a box of cereal called “WEEDIES”! At least Full Moon veteran actress Robin Sydney (Sarah) returns; as the pretty girl who owns the bakery that brought to life the foul-mouthed cookie monster we all know and love. But Charles Band doesn’t stop there as he brings back Larnell from the “Evil Bong” series and he relives his story through flashbacks now that he owns his own Head Shop and would like to meet Sarah in order to help each other out business wise. Meanwhile the evil cookie is back and wants his revenge on Sarah but he has to go find them in the world of EEBEE the Evil Bong. Soon it builds for a face-off that just putters out than be a fun colossal fight. This film disappointed me, but shouldn’t have as Charles Band has tried mish-mash fights like this in the past and it doesn’t translate well in Full Moon movie world as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

 

The Missing (DVD) – Tommy Lee Jones stars in this supernatural western film that has him as a father to Kate Blatchett that left her years ago to pursue a dream he had that told him that he needed to leave his family. But now he is back trying to reconnect only to have it go wrong when an Indian attacks his family and kidnaps his granddaughter. But this Indian is considered a witch as he hangs snakes from trees and only believes in selling women of any color in Mexico. To be honest I totally forgot this flick but glad I got a chance to watch this film as I can see why some people even classify it as a horror film. I give it 3 stars.

Survival Quest

Survival Quest (VHS) – A great forgotten Don Coscarelli film that doesn’t get its due it deserves as Lance Henriksen plays a character named Hank Chambers who is a mountain man that helps normal people come to his camp and learn to work together, survive in the wild, and respect the world. When Hank confronts a crazed weekend warrior and he is wounded his group runs for their lives and tries to survive the crazed weekend warrior’s attacks throughout the woods and the only ones they can depend on is themselves as Hank has taught them. A great 80s adventure film that seems timeless and deserves a better fate than YouTube/VHS hell. I give the flick 4 stars and as usual prove Lance Henriksen makes everything better including having Reggie Bannister as your airplane pilot.

 

The Last Warrior (DVD) – A 9.7 magnitude earthquake separates California from the rest of the United States and Dolph Lundgren has taken it upon himself to try and restore order at his lonely armed forces compound to all who come. The film sounds better than it is just for the mere fact the film lacks budget and could have possibly been bad ass if there was a better budget for Dolph and company. I give the film 2 stars.

sucky_teen_romance

My Sucky Teen Romance (DVD) – Emily Hagins, the young filmmaker that gave us the interesting zombie flick “Pathogen” several years ago this time around tackles teens facing college, their last trip to SpaceCon, and are vampires actually real. The movie pokes fun at the recent “Twilight” films every chance it gets but also pokes fun at today’s awkward teens just trying to live their lives the way they want. Don’t let the title mislead you away from this very funny and a must watch comedy. I give it 3 stars.

 

The Fine Art (VHS) – Its Eric Stanze’s shot on video student film from 1992 and released in 1994 that revolves around an artist named Valerie that is very talented but not at love as she is very unsure of herself. Valerie goes out on a blind date at her friend’s persistence with a friend of hers and soon allows him into her world. But when Valerie peaks into his world she is disturbed and scared what could happen next, especially when her best friend brings up the Cedar Hill Slayer murders that happened last year. The film is very rough around the edges but if given a chance you can see why Eric Stanze is considered a talented filmmaker. I give it 2 stars.

 

Bounty Hunters 2: Hardball (VHS) – Michael Dudikoff and Lisa Howard are back in the sequel playing bounty hunters who get tangled up with the mob only to realize they really need to work together before both are killed. Yeah, the movie is a big bag of boring poo but with Dudikoff starring and a number 2 after the title there was no way I could pass it up. I give the flick 1 star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #315

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Gross Movie Reviews #315

 

 By Tim Gross

 

The Visitor (DVD) – The crazy hippie space out film from 1979 is also known as “Stridulum” is being released by Alamo Drafthouse Films. I believe there is no sure way to describe Hippie Jesus and an old dude help alien children and they are from a different dimension or something like that. This film makes the ‘mindfuck’ film “Fight Club” like a normal boring film. Apparently, Space Jesus aka Franco Nero tells a story about an alien prisoner who escaped years ago and pretty much impregnated any woman he could on earth so there would be evil alien children! It only gets better when a 8 year old named Katie shows up at a Lance Henriksen owned Atlanta Rebels basketball game to make a basketball explode in the final seconds and no one questions it. From there Katie’s mom doesn’t want to get married or have another child as Lance’s character presses her to do so as he is being controlled by a room full of unknown men. There is an agenda somewhere but between the old dude John Huston showing up to take Katie to another dimension and some weird sexual thing in white tents on top of a building I am not sure exactly what agenda it is serving except for those of you that will take LSD when watching the film. The film also stars Sam Peckinpah, Shelley Winters, and Glenn Ford in a movie that words cannot do justice for… Which by the way did I mention Space Jesus? Good luck my weird movie watching friends as I give the film 3 stars for just being that out there.

 

Bounty Hunters (VHS) – Michael Dudikoff is a low end bounty hunter that needs a paycheck to his bills that month and pleads to the local police he needs something. Well, he gets a guy he is supposed to pick up that gets him $10,000 but soon realizes he might want more money as a woman bounty hunter has been camping out on the guy for five days and they just got mixed up into some mob business. Unless you are a Dudikoff fan it’s not the most exciting action film as I give it 2 stars.

 

This is the End (DVD) – James Franco is having his usual Hollywood party that has all the young rich stars partying like it’s the end of the world until it is. Earthquakes begin to happen; trees are falling, people getting sucked up by blue lights from the sky, people dying… Once Seth Rogen and his best friend get back from the convenience store, Franco and others board up the house and try to decide what the next move is for them, if any. The film is hilarious but for me not as good as “The World’s End” but was still glad I got to see it. I have to give the flick 3 stars.

 

The Art of the Steal (On Demand) – If you were awaiting Kurt Russell’s comeback like I was you will not be disappointed in this crime/action flick that has Kurt Russell as an aging thief who did 5 ½ years in a Poland prison and now retired from the life of crime after his brother put him there. Russell is a motorcycle riding stuntman who pretty much does stunts for small carnivals and so on which pales in comparison what he used to do in another life. But when an opportunity arises for Russell to not only get back in the game but be remembered for one of the biggest art heists ever he has a plan you don’t see coming until it is over. The film is well directed, well casted, and kept me at the edge of my seat the whole time. Loved every second of screen time Russell had and just to top it off General Zod from “Superman 2” is a former art thief who helps authorities look into criminals like Russell’s character. The film is absolutely brilliant and cannot wait to watch it again as I believe it will be one of the best films for me in 2014 as I give it 4 stars.

 

Machete Kills (DVD) – Danny Trejo is back to reprise his role as “Machete” this time to do a job for his new country and to help out president Carlos Estevez kill a man in Mexico who has his sights or missile aimed at Washington D.C. But when the missile is control by the madman’s heart Machete just can’t kill him he must fight to get him over the border in 24 hours and get the only other person that exists to remove the contraption. Once again lots of over the top action, blood, and famous cameos but in the end I find myself enjoying the first film more than this sequel. Maybe it was missing crazy luchadors? But if Robert Rodriguez is able to pull off a third film that takes place in space that could be even more amazing than the first film! I give the sequel 3 stars and thought it was smart casting choice in making Mel Gibson the villain “Voz”. Now go and enjoy!

 

Hidden (DVD) – A fun horror film about a dude that inherits a building that just happens to hold his mother’s scientific experiments where she believed she could cure addiction all together with the help of a flying insect. But once himself and friends arrive to check out the place and decide what to do with it the man finds out his mother did these experiments hidden away for good reason as strange kids begin to fucking eat his friends one by one. The film reminds me a lot of the relatively unknown horror film “The Kindred” from 1987. The horror film is worth taking a chance on as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Back Road

Back Road (DVD) – Independent film producer and writer Jon Manthei with the help of writer/director Joseph Thompson is back at it again with his latest short film that in my belief could make a great 75 or 80 minute feature. The film follows Tommy and Tabaitha who are on their first date and have a flat tire on a long dirt road and its getting dark. Together they find help from a kind stranger driving by only to find they are next on the family’s menu but the film ends when it is just beginning as one of the couple have a surprise for the cannibal family. The film feels like “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and 3” meets “From Dusk Till Dawn” as it lures you in with the feeling you have seen this film before until the surprise happens and makes you want more from the talented duo. What makes the film work really well is not only how well the surprise is set up but I thought the two actors playing Tommy and Tabaitha played the ‘awkward first date couple’ so well you actually feel really bad when they are first kidnapped. I give the short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars and hope the talented duo listens and fleshes out a feature of this short film with a little more darker and demonic overtone to it? To find out more about Jon Manthei, Joseph Thompson, and their future projects go check out www.facebook.com/campfirepictures . Oh by the way look for the Ted Nugent for President bumper sticker, it fits perfect in this short film.

TRANCERS1_5Newsletter

Trancers City of Lost Angels (DVD) – Finally, the lost sequel or segment for Charles Band’s “Pulsepounders” anthology that never seen the light of day has been restored and released to DVD recently. Most people call it “Trancers 1.5” as the 25 minute film picks sometime after the first film with Jack Deth and his girlfriend Helen Hunt in 1986 running Deth’s detective agency. While during an argument between the two, McNulty knocks on the door after coming down the line to warn Jack about a criminal Edlin Shock who has escaped and wants him dead after spending five years in a prison in the future. Jack Deth springs into action again to return the futuristic criminal only to realize he misses the past and wants to spend his time in the past. It’s great seeing this film as if you are a fan of the series “1.5” fits just right into the timeline and most likely was to help new fans of Full Moon in 1988/1989 to understand the Jack Deth character more as the first film was hard to find depending where you lived. Once the sequels came out, the first film eventually became easier to find especially with the introduction of DVD in the 90s. I give the film 3 stars if you are a fan of the series, 2 stars if you are new to the whole Jack Deth story as most likely since this is one of the earlier Full Moon series that hasn’t had a sequel or reboot in years?

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Horror Realm this weekend horror movie fans!!!

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Horror Realm march

 

 

 

Come on out as I will have a table with co-director Daniel Boyd as we continue pimping out our new film Jagoff Massacre! We will have copies of the film for sale and we still have a few T-shirts left. Plus I will have my book The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews for sale and of course I will be there to talk about the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast, Spookies, Jagoff Massacre 2 as its in pre-production, my next book which was recently finished and just waiting for the perfect cover from the great artist Ed Quillin! And as always we will have a beer or two or 12… So come on by the convention check out all the guests, movies, and at some point stop by to chat with Gross Movie Reviews himself Tim Gross. I will see yinz there!

Gross Movie Reviews #313

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Gross Movie Reviews #313

 

By Tim Gross

 

Homesick (DVD) – An independent film that was released through Synapse Films that stars the very talented Tiffany Shepis, Bill Moseley, and Tom Towles. Friends at a party one night are visited by a strange man or should I say razor salesman who holds Shepis hostage while he asks questions and cuts himself with razors that were in his suitcase. The questions result in who you want to die? Well after the salesman/Bill Moseley leaves, the friends begin dying one by one and not sure how to stop the killing spree. There is a good amount of gore and a couple uncomfortable scenes for the horror newbies but overall the film was kinda blah and may have be better off with less acting talent and using the money for other things to help the film. I give the movie 2 stars.

 

Fall Down Dead (DVD) – The great Udo Kier plays a serial killer named The Picasso Killer who is chasing his perfect victim on Christmas Eve. If that wasn’t enough David Carradine is thrown in as a security guard and a victim of The Picasso Killer. The script is not great but with the presence of Udo Kier and some awesome gore effects and kept me interested long enough to watch the whole film and give it 2 ½ stars.

swamphead_1

Swamphead (DVD) – It is the mysterious independent screener that was found behind my computer with an email address and no one claiming of giving it to me to review. The film is from Rabid Child Films and is about a man a thousand years ago named Robert Gross (awesome) whose head is separated from his body during a bloody battle and apparently haunts the local Wisconsin woods. Well Gross’s head is pissed off, giving rednecks with a broken arm head in a hot tub, and back to killing local folk. But it’s all up to a paranormal expert, a retard, and three high school kids to stop Swamphead. The independent film is not great by any means but I was entertained by the flying robot and the giant bloodbath. I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Eastern Condors (DVD) – A film from the mid-80s which is along the lines of an international Rambo and Rambo 2 and a better looking Delta Force film starring and directed by Sammo Hung. Two Asian officers are hired by the U.S. government for a super-secret mission where they recruit 10 prisoners with nothing to lose and everything to gain (U.S. citizenship and $200,000) where they would parachute into Vietnam and destroy a secret stash of weapons that the U.S. left when the military pulled out in 1974-1975. What makes the film even more interesting is right before the captain of the mission is about to jump he is told that the mission has been aborted which places an extra spin on this unbelievable action film. This film completely blows away any “Delta Force” flick. This film beginning to end is overflowing with great eye-popping fight scenes and is another example of why I need to find more international films to watch and review! I give the film 4 stars.

 

Absolute Power (DVD) – Another great Clint Eastwood flick that has him playing a thief who is blamed for the death of a rich woman who was having an affair with the President of the United States and is married to the president’s best friend. Eastwood’s character sees everything and escapes when the secret service is trying to cover it up as a burglary gone wrong. Eastwood on the run has been doing this for a long time and knows he needs to disappear far away until the president holds a press conference showing his ignorance to the event and decides he is gonna return the stolen money and jewelry and bring down the president and the people who covered it up. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

The Frozen Ground (DVD) – A film based on a true story stars an old looking John Cusack playing serial killer Robert Hansen who became notorious in 1983 when captured by an Alaskan state trooper for the amount of murders he got away with for over a decade and the exact number may never be known. Nic Cage puts in a good performance as the Alaskan state trooper who helps and uses information given to him by a young hooker who survived an attack by Robert Hansen. Hansen was perceived as the perfect family man with a couple kids, business, etc., but has a history of events that involved abusing women but was never charged and that just fueled his desire to murder whenever the family was out of town. A good film worth tracking down if you enjoy films about true life serial killers as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alien Space Avenger

Alien Space Avenger (VHS) – My obsession for watching bad films has no bounds as this 1988 low budget flick has a cartoonist struggling to keep his job unless he comes up with a new story arc. But before that four alien terrorists escape to earth in the 1930s looking for plutonium for their ship only to find zero and decide to hide in their ship for fifty years. Unearthed by a construction crew, the aliens make their way into New York looking for plutonium for their ship. Then they are to be followed by the struggling cartoonist who uses the aliens for his story arc only to realize they are actually aliens and they will kill him if they can ever get a hold of him. If there was a compliment I could give this flick it would be: This is a USA Up All Night flick if I ever seen one as I give this bad but fun movie 1 ½ stars.

 

Werewolf: The Devil’s Hound (DVD) – Another horrible werewolf film that just feeds the horror fan’s complaints about a good werewolf flick outside of “American Werewolf in London”, “The Howling”, “Ginger Snaps”, “Dog Soldiers”, and the original “Wolf Man”. Nothing redeeming about this boring flick as a werewolf is accidentally sent to a pyrotechnics company by mistake, breaks loose, and attacks anything nearby. If that wasn’t insulting enough the werewolf costume looks like a throw away costume from SyFy Channel’s exclusive film “Yeti”. First rule of making a werewolf film: Have good costume/effects! Second rule: Have money to make a werewolf film or should I say pull one off? I give this waste of space at the video store 0 stars.

 

The Street Fighter (VHS) – It’s 1974 and Sonny Chiba fucks a lot shit up! Including some dude’s ball sack! Sonny is a bad ass mercenary who is trying to protect a billionaire’s daughter. Along the way Chiba even takes on a whole dojo… That is just bad ass as I give this classic 4 stars.

 

Orloff against The Invisible Man (DVD) – The 1970 film has several names but none of them make the film any easier to watch as some scientist dude named Orloff has an invisible gorilla that rapes a bunch of women. Then he dies at the paws and vicious mouths of some German Shepherds! I give it 2 stars.

 

13 Eerie (DVD) – Katherine Isabelle and five other students are testing out in the field as part of their C.S.I. course. They are led out to an island by their professor and maintenance guy where a state prison and a small community have long been abandoned or they think? An extra body is found during student’s test and then disappears only to begin attacking the corpses that were left out for the student’s tests. Soon the small group of people realizes they are being stalked by possible human experiments from the old prison. Cool effects, lots of blood, Katherine Isabelle in another horror film, not your typical zombies, a little throwback to John Saxon’s “Zombie Deathhouse” which all equals that you need to go watch this direct to video horror flick! I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com or pick up a copy at our table at Horror Realm from us March 7-9th, 2014. Go to www.horrorrealmcon.com for more details on the convention.

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #311

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Gross Movie Reviews #311

 

By Tim Gross

 

Chronicle (DVD) – A very surprising film about three teenagers who during a party go out to investigate a crater in the woods that turns out to be a cave with something glowing. One kid is filming everything in his life recently because he believes his life sucks and this may help him through. Through this point of view is most of the movie as after the teenagers see the glowing light they appear in a backyard talking about the experience. Soon they begin to get super powers of sorts unsure what’s going on they make a pact to tell no one. But they try to harness their powers as they keep it secret but soon the teenager with the camera and stressful life goes overboard and causes chaos. The film is underrated, entertaining, and worth wasting your 90 minutes to watch it as I give it 3 stars.

 

Season of the Witch (DVD) – Yeah, it is that Nic Cage film that also stars Ron Perlman and Christopher Lee. Cage and Perlman’s characters are soldiers for the church for several years but decide they believe the church is starting unjust wars and leaves only to come upon a village riddled with the plague and find out it’s been cursed by a witch. The two are forced to travel and take the witch that is believed to be the problem to trial only to find out more. The film could have easily cut the budget in half and made a big deal having a premier on SyFy Channel and believe it would have been more accepting by movie fans. I give it 1 ½ stars.

Midget

Midget Zombie Takeover (DVD/YouTube) – Thank god for independent filmmakers because I love the stuff that keeps being churned out that no one knows about and this another one of those great flicks you need to go buy and support. Thanks to director/writer/producer Glen Berggotz we get a zombie film from Fort Wayne, Indiana that proves there is still room in zombie genre for another great film. Amanda and friends are having a fun party weekend when Amanda’s parents go out of town to grandma’s house. Soon while having fun they are warned by the “Crazy Ralph” neighbor that they will all die by the oncoming ‘midget zombie apocalypse’! Once under siege Amanda and friends slowly make their way into the house and not forgetting their hamburgers to barricade themselves in. They tackle such hard issues as who will go out to the car, they need potato chips, get rid of the fat guy, and who will repopulate the earth?  It was cool to see that the actors and director were on the same page of the dramatic overacting of independent zombie movies and keeping it up no matter what is going on in each scene. The one thing that disappointed me and I also thought was awesome at the same time was I believe that they only had one midget zombie used and reused in every scene that involves zombies which made me torn by this as I was hoping for an army of zombie Warwick Davis’s! If you enjoyed such classics “Holy Shit… Zombies” and “Toxic Shock Zombies”, this film is a must have for your independent collection as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. You can find out more and support the film at https://www.facebook.com/MidgetZombieTakeover .

Reel Zombies

Reel Zombies (DVD) – A surprisingly fucking awesome independent zombie flick that was filmed in 2008 that has recently found distribution with Synapse Films. This film from Michael Masters and David J. Francis is just fucking brilliant and wish I heard about this flick earlier than this. The filmmakers play themselves in the film that takes place during a zombie apocalypse! Yep, the zombies have taken over but people are still trying to live their lives around as much as possible including Mr. Masters and Mr. Francis who have decided it is time to make “Zombie Night 3” but using real zombies in their scenes. So they set out on getting together their old buddies that worked behind the scenes on the first two “Zombie Night” films. Everybody not totally sold on the idea do it anyway because it just seems like it could be a great idea or just sold to them it will be great by the two filmmakers. The movie chronicles the mishaps, zombies eating the extras, the hero zombie being stolen from the set because the caretaker doesn’t want him to die, concert scene gone wrong, and the filmmakers trying to make a masterpiece. It’s a smart look into the behind the scenes of independent productions and you can tell these guys like myself have seen a lot of behind the scene stuff, worked on independent flicks, and most likely have watched way too many to count independent films over the years. The film is not only well scripted with the best cameo appearance of Lloyd Kaufmann that he has ever done, but well casted, great effects, and will be one of the best films that hit DVD in 2014! Don’t forget the laugh your ass of deleted scenes and outtakes (40 minutes of them). You can find this brilliant flick at www.synapse-films.com .

 

Inhuman Resources (DVD) – Another recent Fangoria release that tackles a serial killer in the office work place. A man is accused of being a serial killer and sent to an asylum after he is found in an elevator covered in blood and with an ax. But he isn’t your normal serial killer, he is one that is killing off corrupt company CEO’s. But six people who had something to do with the trial find themselves waking up in an office chained to a table and computers and find out the serial killer is still alive. Without trying to give too much up about this horrifically bloody horror flick the man believes he was framed and wants the six to find out who actually did it? A great blood and guts kinda film that reminds me a little of “Severance”. I give the flick 3 ½ stars. Look for the Tom Savini cameo…

 

Pacific Rim (DVD) – Wasn’t impressed by the trailers so I waited to watch the flick and pleasantly surprised by it. “Pacific Rim” is one those check your brain at the door kinda flicks that combines elements from “Godzilla films”, “Robot Jox” from Charles and Albert Band, and maybe even a small element of “Power Rangers”.  The reason I say check your brain at the door because it’s not trying to be smart or reinvent how movies should be done but just giving as much crazy ass robot action and monsters fighting for the fate of the world. Supposedly aliens aka creatures aka Kaiju has come from what’s called the ‘breech’ at the bottom of the ocean floor and attacking coastal cities throughout the world. Soon in the future all the nations come together to try to come up with a plan to destroy these creatures and prevent them from killing anyone else. Soon they build Jaegers aka giant fucking robots aka Charles Band’s Robot Jox clones to protect the world. But after several years after the war against the creatures has started the creatures seem to become smarter and the world’s leaders want to decommission what’s left of the Jagears. But a select few lead by one man believes there is a way to close the breech and it’s a race to find a way to close it before something bigger comes through and destroy all humanity! And Ron Perlman shows up! I give the fun creature vs robot flick 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #310

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Gross Movie Reviews #310

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Bleeding (DVD) – It’s a vampire film that is supposed to be a spring board for a MMA fighter in the lead role. Problem is the writer, director, and producer take it upon themselves to combine your most popular vampire films from the past ten or twelve years and cram it into a 90 minute elephant crap called a horror film. With a supporting cast of DMX, Vinnie Jones, and Michael Madsen you should expect more but as usual it’s all about the names and not the film plot and what horror movie fans enjoy. The film revolves around a man who is told he is a vampire slayer and must take out the vampire king who just happens to be his brother. The film has a few fun moments but overall makes feel bad for the MMA dude who got stuck with a poopy project. I give the film 1 ½ stars.

 

The World’s End (Blu-ray) – Edgar Wright in to direct, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost to star… Yep, the band is back together for their third outing and it doesn’t disappoint. Character Gary King (Simon Pegg) wants to relive some moments from being a graduating teenager in his old small town. More than anything to go and have one beer in all 12 pubs with his friends, something that got sidetracked years ago. Once King has convinced all his old buddies that this is a good idea they roll into the small town to begin the drinking marathon. Slowly, the friends notice everything is kinda weird and they are convinced once Gary gets into a fight with a younger guy in a bathroom and rips his head off. Things are not what they used to be. The friends in their drunken state must figure out what the hell is going on and how they can get the hell out of town! The film is hilarious and non-stop comedy gold. The Blu-ray has possibly the most extras I have ever seen on one disc as I give the film 4 stars.

 

Attack the Block (DVD) – A fun flick from the UK about teenage gang members taking on aliens when a rock falls from space and a creature awakens and attacks them. Once the alien is killed, the gang celebrates not knowing they are in a world of hurt as the alien is a female and it has all male friends that look like blind werewolves with glowing mouths. A great off-the-wall UK alien flick that I feel was poorly advertised here in the US and has Nick Frost in a small role to boot as a dude who just sells, smokes, and protects weed for his boss in the penthouse. I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

Zombie Hunter (Blu-ray) – The film is part “Mad Max”, part zombie flick with a man who since the fall of mankind has been out in the desert obliterating every zombie around alone. The man comes upon a family of sorts led by a priest (Danny Trejo) after his vehicle is destroyed by a dumbass hillbilly that believes zombies can drive. The priest and the followers believe he can save them from an onslaught and maybe get them to an uninfected island? Problem is the man has too much hate that keeps him alive no matter what. The zombie flick is a cool premise that relies too much on the exploitation aspect but I believe possible lack of money help stare this project in that direction and I would have enjoyed seeing more of Danny Trejo. I give the flick 2 stars.

State

State of Emergency (DVD) – A low budget flick from a duo called “The Clay Brothers” that keeps it creepy and dramatic in this film that I can best compare it to Romero’s “The Crazies”. A man carrying his wife through the woods sets her down for her to die looking at him, then drags her to a nearby farmhouse to watch TV and listen to the radio to figure out what exactly is going on as there was chaos before the accident. Time passes but once he has gained his senses something gets in the farmhouse with it forcing him to kill it. The film never calls them ghouls, zombies, infected, etc., which I believe helps give the film a great creepy atmosphere. The cleverly written film makes you pay attention to what is being said on TV and radio and sucks you in and puts you the viewer in his shoes. The drama of the explosions and the strange things standing outside not moving but waiting motionless for humans make this a must see horror film for all! After this I will keep an eye out for any project that involves “The Clay Brothers”. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

The Invisible (DVD) – A teenager (Nick) who is close to graduating and seems to have his life mapped out by his mom is beaten up after a party one night and left for dead in a sewer drain. Next morning Nick returns to school only to learn no one can see him and he believes he is dead so he tries to haunt the girl that beaten him to possible death? Meanwhile the police investigate and the plot thickens when Nick learns his best friend was involved and the girl’s boyfriend doesn’t want the police sniffing around as he is out on parole and wants to prove to his girlfriend that she needs to listen. The girl haunted by her actions wants to do one good thing in her life and Nick tries to steer her into finding his lifeless body or is it? A pretty good, off the beaten path supernatural flick, that should have ghost enthusiasts scrambling to watch it. I give the flick 3 stars.

Mini-Golf

Mini-Golf Massacre (YouTube) – I continue my dream of watching every film I can get my hands on that has ‘massacre’ in the title. Especially when the film has that kinda “shot on VHS 80s” feel. When Leroy gets fired from the local putt-putt place, he steals the mascot mask and goes on a killing spree. I couldn’t stop laughing at the 31 minute movie as you can see the chainsaw clearly doesn’t have a chain on it. But fuck that shit, grab some friends, some beer, and some pizza and enjoy this horrible fun flick as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Manborg (DVD) – A complete over-the-top nutzoid, stop motion, CGI, anime influenced, mind blowing fantasy film from Steve Kostanski that pits humans vs. Hell’s Armies in the future after Count Draculon wasn’t stopped during a war long ago. In the future, Draculon’s armies have taken over and most of mankind is gone or underground. During the war long ago a man fighting Count Draculon was believed killed but became an experiment called, “Manborg” awakens in this hellish future. Manborg may be the one hope for mankind as he is taken into custody after killing a guard who was chasing an escape prisoner aka an extra from Mortal Kombat. Once in Hell’s prison he must fight in the arena. With help from other prisoners they soon begin killing all of Hell’s Armies. Soon Manborg learns to harness his powers after escaping and Manborg and friends begin an all-out assault on Count Draculon! The film is literally like a comic book geek’s brain exploded on screen. I enjoyed this completely unique and crazy film but feel there will be some fans that just won’t understand what exactly the film is and dislike it. I give this Mr. Kostanski’s amazing effort 3 ½ stars.

 

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (DVD) – Film version of the cult show in 1996 that spawned or influenced many recent internet horror hosts and podcasts that has a man Michael J. Nelson trapped in space and his two robots stuck in space made to watch horrible old sci-fi films. For this film version of the show they are made to watch “This Island Earth”. MST3K is the type of programming that has a rabid fan base that keeps its spirit alive now for years even though the show has been canceled. It’s a program clearly marketed for film geeks or stupid people who drink beer like myself. I give the film version of the original TV program 4 stars and may the influence of Michael J. Nelson and the robots live on.

 

Oblivion (DVD) – Its 2077, and earth has been ravaged by after effects of dropping nukes during a war with aliens in 2017 and the moon was half destroyed causing weather related catastrophes. Tom Cruise plays Jack, part of a two person team who is trying to protect these water things in the sky, keep maintenance up on drones that supposedly protect the planet from scavengers. The Scavengers are what came and started war with earth. While out on patrol Jack propels himself deep into a library to check for a down drone only to be attacked, but before that finds a book and reads a passage. Jack tries to bring it up to his partner but she wants none of it which is why he never tells her of the dreams that haunt him nightly. Soon Jack questions whether he wants to leave earth since he is supposed to report back to a colony that is on one of Saturn’s moons. Jack begins to question his dreams and exactly what he is doing. Oblivion is a futuristic film that starts off innocently enough as your big budget garbage but uses misdirection in its alien storyline to make the film very interesting. Plus, Tom Cruise gives a performance that reminded me he wasn’t always a dick in the industry and can still be someone worth watching in film. I give the film 3 stars.

 

Curse of Chucky (DVD) – Brad Dourif not only comes back for this sequel but his daughter stars in it, I’m in! Number six in the series plays like a regular bloody series sequel with Chucky on a killing spree but even with a little meaner streak if possible. Surprised there hasn’t been a remake yet? I sat back to watch as they stick with the slasher formula that worked in the past to give Chucky new life again as he arrives in a mail package with no return address. Soon a mother is dead and a daughter in a wheelchair is left picking up the pieces and wondering what the hell happened? Family comes to help and the fun begins. Chucky’s killing spree is something we have seen before but the whole time it felt different and different it was once you learn why Chucky arrived anonymous to this house and that’s where the real fun begins. If anything good comes out of the latest Chucky film it proves not everything has to be remade in order to be entertaining… I give it 2 ½ stars and just like to say thank you to Universal for giving the series another chance before that eventual reboot?

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #308

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Gross Movie Reviews #308

 

By Tim Gross

 

Return to Class of Nuke ’Em High Volume One (Theater/Blu-ray) – Recently Uncle Lloyd decided it was time to revisit the classic series and revive it with an entry that goes the route of the latest “Star Trek” films of being: a remake, sequel, and everything in-between. You know the film is going to be epic when Stan Lee is the first face you see and a few minutes later Lemmy from Motorhead is the president of the United States and he has subtitles. Sometime has past and society has changed and it isn’t cool to make fun of toxic waste and nuclear energy. So now, Lloyd Kaufman the president of “Tromorganic Foodstuff Products” and he supplies most of Jersey and the new Tromaville High School with food. But this is only a subplot of the film as the film revolves around two girls’ name Lauren and Chrissy who are learning to get along. But when a leak of Tromorganic green liquid gets in the school lunch soon the drama department becomes “The New Cretins”! And then no one is safe as they terrify the school and its students but soon Lauren and Chrissy have odd dreams or nightmares of having giant dicks and beating up The New Cretins. The film is a lot of fun and is reminder of how good the original is, was, and always will be … but I also believe this is a film for the new generation of Troma fans which will look upon on this great flick just like the first generation of Troma fans look at: The Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke ‘Em High. Of course Troma believes nothing is untouchable as they make fun of: House Foreclosures, Jerry Sandusky, CNN covering school shootings, illegal downloading, blogging, people with diabetes, the glee club, Obama Care! If that wasn’t enough Debbie Rochon, Cigar face, and quite a few other characters from past Troma films make an appearance so pay close attention. The movie was perfect and one of the best films of 2013. The only thing I could find to complain about is of course they shot so much fun stuff for the film they had to split it into two films. I give this newest classic from Troma 4 stars.

 

Dark Shadows (DVD) – Johnny Depp brings the character of Barnabus Collins to life in this film adaption of a 70s daytime television cult favorite. It’s 1972, and Mr. Collins has been asleep for a very long time only to wake up and find out his family business is in shambles and the witch that cursed him is still alive and trying to get rid of his descendants by any means necessary. But Barnabus is not all about sucking blood from people’s necks as he would like the curse to be lifted to live out his life. The movie is nor good or bad more of a time filler until you find something better. I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Beneath (Chiller TV/DVD) – Five teenagers have just graduated high school and want to have one last party before they go their separate ways. They decide they want to boat across the lake but only Johnny knows they shouldn’t because of the legend that lives in the lake. Persuaded by the girl he wants but can never have to help them get across things go bad when they decide to take a swim once out in the middle of the lake. That is when the film becomes more than just an ordinary lake creature film and the characters bicker about who should live and who shouldn’t so others can survive. By the end the creature feature becomes a mean spirited story of what teenagers can be like these days? It is a little different; a little bit interesting, a creature feature that rethinks the usual formula of your usual present day killer fish monster film! I give the flick 3 stars and believe more horror fans need to give this a second look.

 

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (DVD) – Robert Downey Jr. reprises his role as the eccentric investigator Sherlock Holmes as he must deal with his companion Watson getting married and not wanting to solve any mysteries any longer. But when one man who believes he is smarter than anyone in the world involves Watson and his new wife, he must help Holmes solve and save the world that cause world war. I enjoy Robert Downey Jr. as an actor and enjoyed the first film but believe this entry was more to just fulfill a contract more than adding just inspiring to the series. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Skyfall (DVD) – The latest in the new Bond films starring David Craig as 007 dies at the beginning of the film or thought to be dead when trying to stop a man who is stealing secret identities of agents undercover for MI6. Several months go by and no James Bond and that’s when the cyber-terrorism begins as names begin to leak out on YouTube and it’s all aimed at M for something she did in the past. Bond seeing this on a television far from his old home feels he is needed to get back in the secret agent game and help M. M knows even if Bond is in poor condition he is the best chance to save MI6 and bringing down those who are creating the cyber-terrorism attacks. The film goes full circle, excites old school Bond fans, and begins anew. If you were a fan of Sean Connery or a fan of Roger Moore like I was this Bond brings you more interested than ever about what’s the next Bond film?! If you were any type of Bond fan do yourself a favor and see this film as I give it 4 stars.

 

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (DVD) – A children’s story with a new horror twist to it. Apparently, Hansel and Gretel were orphaned so they wouldn’t be sacrificed and grew up to hate and hunt witches for a living. The film asks if you the viewer checks your brain at the door and enjoy the crazy over the top storyline with shitty computer effects. The film was a little better than a pile of shit I thought it would be but I believe this project should have been a SyFy Channel exclusive as I believe horror fans would have been more accepting and would have at least tuned in to watch it when it premiered? I give it 2 stars.

 

Zombie Nightmare (DVD) – Jon Mikl Thor stars as a man who has just been killed by some young party goers who just poured out of a high class bar. Thor’s mother is owed a favor by the local voodoo witch in town who brings his back to life to seek revenge. Did I mention we have Adam West as a detective and Tia Carrere as one of the young party goers? And yes its 1986… It’s very bad but in such a great “USA Up All Night” way where you are waiting for Rhoda Shear to cut in every ten to fifth-teen minutes. I give it 2 stars.

Hellinger

Hellinger (DVD) – A little girl named Melissa 20 years ago is eating with her father who despises her. He despises Melissa so much he taunts her with her favorite stuffed animal until Melissa wishes him to be dead. Then evil is born. Within seconds a strange dark figure appears and ends Melissa’s father in a very gruesome way. 20 years has past and Melissa is still afraid of the darkness and believes what came to murder her father that night 20 years ago still sits and waits in the darkness for her. Melissa still distraught by the darkness is seeing a doctor to help her through her past of what she calls the darkness. But let’s not forget Melissa now all grown up may be still afraid of the darkness but has time to boink the fuck out of her boyfriend before he becomes a gory mess at the hands of the strange darkness. The film plays out like an odd independent homage of “Hellraiser” that may have been misunderstood in 1997 but if made today with a little more money I could see a huge following for the strange film about a priest named Father Donaldson who had his own ideas of how his religion should be followed. Gore, boobs, and strange shit about darkness makes this shot on video flick a must see for the fans of independent cinema as a give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Carnage Road (DVD) – “Hellinger” filmmaker Massimilano Cerchi directs, John Polonia wrote the screenplay, and the editor is Mark Polonia make this modern shot on video slasher interesting enough. The film centers around four photography students who go out to the Nevada desert to get the best pictures for their project. Little they know “Quiltface” is awaiting their arrival. Quiltface is a legend about a disfigured person who lives out in the desert killing those who get lost there. Or if you go by what I say: its Leatherface’s second cousin on his mum’s side and has the fat bootleg version of Bill Moseley to help, as he only goes into town to get shit paper. And these two enjoy collecting fresh body parts especially if they are stupid college students who don’t believe in the legend of Quiltface. I give the shot on video flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Better Off Dead (DVD) – A very offbeat comedy from 1985 that stars John Cusack as Lane, a high school teenager who can’t catch a break as he can’t make the ski team and his girlfriend (Amanda Wyss) Beth just broke up with him with the ski team president. So Lane spends a lot of the film trying to come up with funny ways to commit suicide until Monique the foreign exchange student from across the street takes notice and wants to help him out of his funk of trying to commit suicide or trying to find a way to impress Beth again. Meanwhile Lane’s best friend Charles Demar isn’t helping much as he just wants good drugs in their lame ass town. The film is a great 80s flick that sums up a lot about the decade and this film is still considered a huge fan favorite. I give the great flick 4 stars.

 

Zombie Night (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Anthony Michael Hall dips his toe into the lower budgeted zombie genre with his role as a father trying to protect his daughter and wife (Darryl Hannah) from hordes of flesh eaters. Take it or leave it kinda of film that was kinda fun to watch Anthony Michael Hall fucking up zombies to save his family. Too bad there was no Judd Nelson. I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

Gross Movie Reviews #307

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Gross Movie Reviews #307

 

By Tim Gross

 

Wake in Fright (VHS/YouTube) – Well here goes an odd film of sorts from Australia, 1971. The film stars a crazy drunken Donald Pleasance who believes he knows how to get through life for free but that’s just part of this dramatic serious film. John Grant is a teacher on vacation that seems unhappy with the state of his job and life mainly because in this time period teachers are bonded and need a thousand bucks to buy themselves out. During a layover waiting for the next train in a small and rough mining town, Mr. Grant takes in the sights along with the gambling and drinking. Days pass and Mr. Grant soon finds he is ready to shoot himself. Donald Pleasance is a highlight of this dramatic film but that story is far more interesting as it gives you a look of one teacher’s perceptive in 1971 Australia. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Raymond

Raymond Did It (DVD) – A Travis Legge independent film that revolves around two brothers. One brother, Bryce is your normal teenager, the other, Ray is mentally handicapped but the brothers hang together at all times or when mom says so. Well the brothers go out with Paige and Tammy and others to the park. Paige constantly gives Raymond a hard time until Bryce steps in and Tammy speaks up but a scuffle breaks out and Bryce falls into a tree and dies accidentally. Everyone except Tammy go in on a plan to blame Raymond. Six years have pass and all the friends are getting together at a party. Even Tammy goes who seems to be a recluse since the accident and it all takes place on the day Raymond escapes from authorities. Tammy still relives the tragic day as all her friends simply forgot about it as in their words “the re re deserved it”! Well guess what Raymond is pissed and wants revenge. We have death by washing machine (aka warshing machine if you live in Pittsburgh), very cool death by lawnmower, and we have a death of a dude where we see the aftermath of him lying on a shower curtain on the floor in blood with the shower curtain protecting the floor from all the fake blood. The independent film doesn’t go full slasher mode as Travis allows his talent to give the film some soul of not going down the same road slasher film fans are use too when watching such a flick. I love the gore, the direction of the film was brilliant, and filmmaker Travis Legge really made you feel for the characters of Tammy and Raymond. Like I said an independent slasher film with soul and as a horror movie fan I believe you can’t ask for much more. I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars and did I mention death by lawnmower was pretty fucking awesome? You can purchase the film and find out more at: https://www.facebook.com/RaymondDidIt and http://www.amazon.com/Raymond-Did-It/dp/B00B691NV4 .

 

Grave Halloween (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Another supported horror film on SyFy Channel that fails to be interesting as a college girl is haunted by dreams of her real mother and decides to travel where she committed suicide. Not only does she believe it will help her get past the suicide but allows her best friend to do a documentary on it. Oh yeah she died in a supposedly haunted forest in Japan. I just have that feeling if the film was done more in the vein of Asian cinema instead this American bastard version it would have been more interesting. I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Resident Evil: Retribution (DVD) – If the films before this didn’t prove it then this film made sure for the stupid people you understand that Paul W.S. Anderson has some weird fantasy of his wife fighting monsters and evil corporate types in slow motion all while wearing leather and sharing it to the world. Mr. Anderson I rather just see the sex tapes not this poor excuse for another sequel that just baffles me how Hollywood hasn’t wanted to remake this whole fucking franchise? And who is giving you the budget to film these things you call films? Outside of part three this film goes about its way of insulting any fan of the original scary ass video game series of the late 90s who may still be paying attention. I watched the film for free and feel I should get money back anyway. Do yourself a favor horror fans stop supporting, go watch the two animated features, and start email blasting Hollywood why Alexander Aja hasn’t got the call to remake this series yet? I give it crap because it is crap!

 

The Aftermath (VHS) – A lower budget, mutants, and three some years before ‘Def-Con 4’ is this sci-fi flick about two astronauts who come back to earth after a very long mission only to find we all fucking nuke each other. While trying to come to grips with the situation the astronauts try to make the best of it until they have a run in with a wannabe cult leader named Cutter played by Sid Haig who has his followers kill the men and keep the women and eventually kill the children when they get annoying. If you are able to lay your hands on a copy of the film it does have a couple interesting extras from the filmmakers and some from the Corman group talking about the film. I give the apocalypse sci-fi flick 2 stars.

 

Mr. Nice Guy (DVD) – Jackie Chan is just a cook… on a cooking show in Melbourne and gets mixed up with a reporter who just happens to film incriminating evidence against a crime boss. Soon Jackie is running through malls hitting people with food, jumping onto trucks, almost getting his nuts cut off by a band saw. A good Jackie Chan film but from one of his best films you need to see as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Saturday Morning Massacre (DVD) – A film that pretty much tries to make the Scooby-Doo gang a little older and at least admit they do drugs go to a mansion to investigate ghosts that have haunted the old place for years. If you get pass the complete Scooby-Doo rip-off you might enjoy the payoff in the end or just go get high and watch Scooby-Doo and Blair Witch Project on dual screens to get the same effect. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Cruising (DVD) – A very interesting crime thriller starring Al Pacino who is a young police officer who is given the chance to make detective. But he must go undercover for Paul Sorvino into New York’s dark underbelly of the gay community to find an unknown gay serial killer who keeps stacking up bodies around the city. The film does not go your typical route of normal cop thrillers as it has Pacino’s character really get involved into an unknown world of gay bars, hook-ups, etc. Pacino puts in a great performance as his character is even showing he has problems sexually with his girlfriend when he has exposed himself to so much he did not know about gay males. The film is smart, interesting (especially for its time of New York’s glory days and before HIV-positive), and leaves you wondering if Pacino’s character get the right guy? If you are the type film fanatic always looking for a different film, do yourself a favor and watch this flick as I got to thank Russ Rutter for this recommendation. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Episode 94 is now up!

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Jon Cross returns (applaud you guys!) And he brings with him a classic of British cinema in Get Carter.  JSB checks in with his pick from Australia Wake in Fright.  And Tim covers a possible precursor to the Puppet Master flicks with the Charles Band / Stuart Gordon production Dolls.  Along the way we talk about a lot of stuff about midgets. Terrible school teachers. And Mister Cross may or may not fall into a time loop. 

http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

 

EPISODE 94