Tag Archives: Aftershock

Gross Movie Reviews #635

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MR-9: Do or Die (Vimeo) – An action film out of Bangladesh that bases the film on a series of novels about an agent called “MR-9” or  a version of an international bad ass spy! Anyhow the CIA comes a knocking (Michael Jai White) at the BCI to hopefully use agent MR-9 to gain access to R&R Robotics or the Ross Brothers legit enterprise to stop Frank Grillo aka Roman Ross from blowing up some of the world’s most famous dams. With the help of MR-9 the Vegas event goes well that it has Ross on the ropes giving room for the CIA to close in and stop the brothers from pulling off a huge criminal event. This Bangladesh film has the formula down: Big opening, secret agent, lots of action, and give action film fans a quick taste of Grillo and White fighting at the end. The film isn’t perfect but it is a fun international action flashback to the solid 90s direct-to-video action stuff Americans we use to see on a regular basis. The biggest flaw might have been tacking onto the ending to set up a second upcoming film of MR-9 but remember this isn’t the usual American action film fare. But no matter what you got me wanting to see the next entry as I give this solid film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Invasion of the Space Preachers (DVD) – Here is a 1990 Indy film that has two friends (a dentist and an account) heading to the woods for a week of fun. On their way to the cabin they rented of course they find a wounded alien and take it with them. Once the alien heals up it turns into a beautiful woman to hang out and blend in with the two fellows as something fishy is going on among the locals and their preacher? The alien/now beautiful woman has come to stop the creepy preacher and its plans to wreak havoc internationally! If you have never seen the film it will be entertaining as hell for the independent movie fans if you are casual movie watcher, you better just move on as I give this fun flick 2 ½ stars.

Monster Busters (DVD) – A 2009 film out of Denmark that comes off as a ‘Goosebumps’ clone where grandpa tells the grandkids stories of hunting monsters in his younger days. Things seem normal until grandpa gets sick and taken to the hospital allowing for one of the grandkids to accidentally let loose a “shadow monster”. Once grandpa gets better he helps coach the kids into Monster Busters so they can recapture the monster that cannot be killed and understand and respect Grandpa’s stuff. The cute monster movie is family fun from a different country that is worth the search if you are a ‘Goosebumps’ fan as I give it 3 stars.

Lycan Colony (DVD) – Again no budget filmmakers, “If you are going to make a werewolf film you better have one hell of a werewolf costume?” In this 2006 independent werewolf film a young lady Sarah bites the new neighbor boy Stew for no other reason other to taste him… I guess? This goes down while Stew’s father is busy fighting werewolf extras that couldn’t afford costumes in a bar and he happens to find out the whole town they moved too is full of werewolves. About ¾’s a way through the film there is some non-sense trying to explain why the werewolves exist in this little town. If that isn’t enough for this mess of a film you will question “WTF you are watching” when you get to its weird video game bullshit to close out the film. And yes I am still not sure WTF I watched as I give this movie 1 star.

Death Rider: In the House of Vampires (On Demand) – The second project written and directed by Glen Danzig which I have stayed away from the first project as too many people made sure I knew how bad that one was. But I may get to that first project sooner than later after watching this? Anyhow, this western has a man, I mean vamp in black knocking at the door of a safe place for vampires with his virgin for entry. Mainly this vampire named Rider is there for revenge is the best way to describe this weirdly filmed western. The movie isn’t terrible as Glen Danzig seem to splash together the legendary Eastwood 60s westerns with Carpenter’s “Vampires” that somehow became a bootleg of a bootleg of “From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman’s Daughter”… without much happening. But what stands out to me more than the star-studded cast might be how this vampire film was shot as it came off as a high tech editing error or totally on purpose for some reason only known to Mr. Danzig himself? There is a weird delay or something? It is one of those movies that has the cast, the budget, and a script but totally unprepared on what to do with it as I give this project 2 stars. P.S. thank you Mr. Danzig for allowing me to look like a better actor than you, please people go compare and enjoy the laugh.

XXX-Mas (Blu-ray) – Johnny Duckett just happens to be a filmmaker of porn with his latest adult film production supposed to be this epic holiday porno like no other with all the bells and whistles! Duckett wants this production to start off a Marvel-like porn universe of holiday porn? Meanwhile Santa has just sat down to eat some cookies and watch one of his favorite holiday films on VHS. Santa sees something naughty on said VHS tape and makes a point to go to the porn set to assault all who are taking part in the porn shoot. Drew Marvick was perfect as the killer Santa! And it is always great seeing the talented Felissa Rosa and Jessa Flux but in the end it just felt like this independent production lacked the memorable staying power of a holiday horror movie other than Drew Marvick being a great killer Santa as I give this project 2 stars.

Debbie Rochon Confidential My Years in Tromaville: Exposed (DVD) – I was expecting a documentary but got a clip show of Debbie Rochon’s work with Lloyd and Troma. It isn’t a bad thing if you are a fan but never did a deep dive into Debbie’s work with Troma TV and Troma promos? Or ever been exposed to her work with Troma? The real treat might be the “Fangoria Trailer Park” extra that is on the DVD? It is a Fango TV thing from the early 2000s that horror fans may have never known about but would enjoy to check out. This was way before Shudder was a thing and how there were several horror outlets or websites taking a stab at trying to really establish a horror network. So by some chance you never been introduce to this talented actress Debbie Rochon this will most likely be a good watch for you as I give it 3 stars.

Aftershock (YouTube/VHS) – A 1990 post-apocalyptic film I have never heard of happen to come to my attention so of course I made a point to check this out. And kids I was not disappointed with its casting of John Saxon, James Lew, Michael Berryman, Richard Lynch, and Matthias Hues! The film is set in a world ravaged by war but still being controlled by something called the “Central Control Information Bureau”. This organization’s goal is to keep humans in line in this post nuke new world. Elizabeth Kaitan of “Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood” fame is an alien that has happen to set down in this mess and spends most of her time on the run from these Central Control non-sense guys or mainly John Saxon. Great cast but not much to the plot other than stealing from “They Live” of telling citizens to wake up and throw in an alien and we got our post-apocalyptic movie that I give 2 ½ stars.

Darkness of Man (On Demand) – An aging JCVD was an Interpol agent that made a promise of protecting a teenager after his mother dies. Now two years later Russell and Jayden get caught up in a violent street war between the Russians trying to take over the neighborhood Korean town where the old Korean mob has been established for decades. Think of a slow burn “John Wick” that has subtle ways of using some solid familiar action stars to blend this story of the burned out former Interpol agent being used by the Korean mob. Might not be the best of the JCVD catalog but might be his most plots driven to date as I give it 3 stars.

The Third Saturday in October (Shudder) – I quite enjoyed this throwback to a 70s slasher film as this one has heart with the music, the look, and the cars. Set in 1979 Alabama where deranged killer Jack Harding is being put to death for his killing spree in 1968 but has refused to say a word since. When Harding is electrocuted there is a man (Ricky Dean Logan) and a woman (Vicki Newton) that is witnesses of the execution who also wanna see him buried in the ground to be sure he is dead. But don’t let a good electrocution keep this killer down as he rises from his coffin to kill again and heads to the town of Hackleburg to restart his bloody rampage. Ricky and Vicki soon believe Jack Harding isn’t human but some kind of unstoppable monster. This is one of the few nostalgic slasher films in the past several years that have gotten the formula right! When watching your 70s slasher film makes me think of “Halloween” and “Phantasm” but also finds a way to give me chills you know you have made this horror fan happy who is old enough to remember that time as I gotta give this wonderful nostalgic 70s movie 4 stars! Horror fans that enjoyed “Late Night with the Devil” will enjoy this also.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (Blu-ray) – Everyone new and old is back for this fourth installment into the franchise. They continue the storyline that something has to be done with the old containment unit before it’s too late? This also sets up a new ghost villain or phantom from an ancient orb that has not been seen in centuries is about to use the containment unit to help send the world in chaos and darkness. Once again it is up to the Ghost Busters to stop “The Death Chill” in this family fun movie that may not be as good as “Afterlife” but let me remind you these movies should have been made thirty years ago. So shut up and just enjoy we are even getting these movies as I give it 3 stars.

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Gross Movie Reviews #447

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Gross Movie Reviews #447

 

Megalodon (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A Navy ship defies orders from its admiral (Michael Madsen) in order to try and save a shipmate and her experimental sub that is swallowed up by a monster shark. The monster shark is loose because the Russians were supposedly at the bottom of the ocean trying to tap into the pipeline. The Navy could never find evidence of it but now they have if it if they can survive the attack of this prehistoric shark that is now trying to destroy the ship. The film was fun for about 15 minutes but I couldn’t take seriously Michael Madsen as he doesn’t fit into a military outfit let alone the U.S. Navy. But whatever as I give this limp noodle of a shark flick 1 star.

Santa Jaws (SyFy Channel/DVD) – So this may have been the underrated treat of “SyFy Channel Shark Week”. A teenager who is an aspiring comic book artist is grounded for Christmas and told he will miss the comic book party. He opens up an early Christmas present which just so happens to be a magic pen. With this magic pen the teenager Cody begins drawing his latest comic adaptation ‘Santa Jaws’. It is literally a great white shark with a Santa hat on its fin that begins to track down Cody’s family and eats them on Christmas Eve. Once Cody knows that Santa Jaws is real he must convince everyone else and figure out how to get rid of this jolly man-eater. There are a lot of corny holiday bad jokes, the subplot of the Cody trying to talk to the cute girl across the street, and the weird comic book dude that hits on all women. Before you start bitching why this movie shouldn’t exist, remember there was “Santa Paws”… So check your brain at the door and keep this on the back burner for the holiday season as I give this holiday film 3 stars.

 

Frenzy (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Starts off like a found footage film but corrects itself into complete crap that makes root for the characters to die of a quick horrible death. But apparently the filmmaker watched “The Swallows” on a continuous loop for a month and an idea to appeal to younger horror fan… maybe? The Lewis sisters and friends have a YouTube show where they go adventures and such and record it for their online shows. This episode has them filming as they illegally get someone to take them into a protected sanctuary just so they can say they were there. Of course the plane has problems and they crash in the ocean only to become fish food for some hungry sharks. I literally hate watched this film about ten minutes in and wanted all the characters to die cause sad part is I could see real life dumb asses doing this to begin with. Anyway… get off my lawn as I give this piece of garbage 0 stars.

 

Nightmare Shark (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Now, I am not saying this shark movie was great or anything but have to say kudos for a different shark film. A doctor finds a way to reach out to shark attack victims for an experimental group therapy weekend. He claims to be working on a drug to help cure the nightmares they all have about the same shark. A shark that Dr. Novak may have seen when he almost died in Hawaii a few years before and it asked him to serve the shark god. So yes Dr. Novak has bad intentions once all members of the group have arrived. But remember it is about nightmares so not all you will see is true or basically imagine if Freddy Krueger was an ugly shark trying to kill you in your dreams. Just weird enough it kept me interested and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Aftershock (YouTube/VHS) – A crazy off the wall post-apocalyptic flick where war has turned most of the world into a wasteland and an alien has decided to visit. The alien is there to gain information on how to stop their world from killing each other in war but soon understands there is no hope on Earth either. John Saxon plays a militant madman trying to win a war who only answers to Richard Lynch and has a bodyguard played by James Lew. Did I forget to mention Michael Berryman shows up in drag, Matthias Hues comes off as a wrestler in the future who lost his way from the movie set of “I Come in Peace”, Al Leong is hanging out with the bad guys watching Michael Berryman stab a dude in a bar fight, and there floppy disks may help save the world from John Saxon. Bad movie gold my friends and deserves to have a Blu-ray as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Sleeper (Blu-ray) – A way cool 2-disc retro horror flick set in 1981 on a college campus. The Thetas are looking for a few new pledges but an unknown psycho has other plans as he keeps crank calling the sorority house and announcing which member he is about to kill next. His weapon of choice is a hammer which brutally messes up his victims. When more girls begin to go missing the police begin to take the murders seriously but have trouble tracking down who the killer could be? Justin Russell the writer/director of the film puts together a wonderful horror walk down memory lane that was like a mash up of “Black Christmas” and “Graduation Day”. If that wasn’t enough we also get a cameo appearance by the man, the myth, the legend, Joe Bob Briggs as the doctor but also you get him to do his ‘drive-in totals’ for the film as an extra. Great stuff folks as I give this fun retro horror film 3 ½ stars.

 

The BPO Halloween Mixtape from Hell! (DVD) – The BPO Films trio has a lot of fun with a couple of short films called Benny Bob and Phantom’s Super Halloween Special 1 & 2. Also in between you get a couple “Pizza Boy” trailers which I could not stop laughing throughout. If Benny Bob and Phantom are not trying to scare each other they do fight a demon! This collection doesn’t show off their talent as much showing they are all about just having fun when they put together a wonderful project and that can take you a long way. It reminded me a lot of the early stuff that I have seen from independent filmmakers Jim Roberts, Steve Rudzinski, and Rick Fusselman. Make something out of nothing and just enjoy what you put on film. Dumb hijinks that doesn’t get old and also just referencing popular movies like “Ghostbusters” doesn’t hurt for laughs. Well done guys as I give it 4 out of 4 stars as this entertaining DVD will get replayed around Halloween at my home. For more info on these guys check out www.bpofilms.com .

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (On Demand) – One of the most talked about horror films of 2018 and for good reason. This got a lot of horror fans’ attentions when the puppets first showed up at Texas Frightmare weekend and we all were learning this film will be very different from the original Charles Band production. It is hard to define if this is a reboot, sequel, etc., as the new film is based on the characters but taken in a much darker direction that many of the “Puppet Master” entries stayed away from. But anyhow a comic book store employee has recently moved back home after a divorce and has hooked up with the girl across the street. They make the decision to head to a toy convention that is celebrating the 30 year anniversary of ‘The Toulon Murders’. There he hopes to sell what he thinks are one of Toulon’s original puppets that may or may not have killed his brother when they were young. Once there and after the creepy tour with Barbara Crampton the retired cop, the dolls are disappearing from people’s hotel rooms and thought stolen. But the evil puppets are killing again thanks to Toulon who has risen from the grave! The hotel becomes the center of an all-out bloodbath and the only way to maybe stop the murdering puppets is find the undead Toulon. After watching the film I was surprised at the cameos and how many bodies pile up in the film. The film takes a wonderful and entertaining ride into evil and I liked it! Not a fan of the puppets like the original but I am wanting more… I give the film 3 ½ stars. But I have two questions I want answered: When is the sequel coming? And will Charles Band ever make another “Puppet Master” film now with this existing?

 

6-Headed Shark Attack (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Married couples on an island for a couple retreat or boot camp to help them get back what they once had. This is disrupted by a six-headed shark that may have been the results of an experiment over 30 years ago on the other side of the island? Oh for the love of Rutger Hauer this film may have had the whiniest and bitchiest characters of all time! I so wanted the six-headed shark to be thrown like a Chinese star through the island when the bad weather arrives in the film. Thus ending this feature quickly as these people needed to die. No one here was likable. I really hope films like “Frenzy” and this sequel do not become a trend in horror movie making because it just plain sucks out loud! I give it 0 stars.

 

8-Bit Bloodbath (DVD) – A twenty minute film about a gamer named Billy who is invited to a Halloween party but becomes a sacrifice instead. But Billy rises from the dead as an undead 8-bit super zombie who seeks revenge against mankind. Once undead he slaughters people with his various weapons he is able to produce out of his zombie Nintendo glove. The independent short film is raw but very entertaining and reminds me a little of the Polonia Brothers early stuff shot on VHS. Todd Wolfson has my attention with this film and his trailer for ‘Sponge’ which looked very funny and entertaining. I give this fun short film 3 out of 4 stars and cannot wait to see what is to come next from Mr. Wolfson and crew. For more info on this project check out:  https://www.facebook.com/8BitBloodBath/

 

Patient Zero (On Demand) – A UK flick that has the world being infected by a super rabies virus. It started with animals but mutated once it got into humans causing them to become raging violent maniacs. With the population being decimated quickly the military grasps at straws with their research and trying to find ‘Patient Zero’ for answers on how to cure people. But there is a slight hope as a man helps the research on a daily basis as he was bitten but never turned. With this he is able to communicate to the infected and hopefully using this power helps them all find the cure. Problem becomes the infected are evolving and want not a war but everyone to be infected. A very curious alternative horror film that is a reminder of how good “28 Days Later” was and how I am surprised not to see more films like this made over the years? I give this interesting flick 2 ½ stars. I may have given it a better rating but wasn’t really impressed with the non-ending.

 

The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time (SyFy Channel/DVD) – And just in case for those of you counting at home this is “Sharknado 6”. When we last seen Fin, he was in the future with his son (Dolph Lundgren) and he was going to help his father to get back to the past. Now, Fin ends up in prehistoric times and finds most of his family as they fight a Sharknado at key points in history. Along the way they are trying to find Fin’s son (no longer Dolph Lundgren because it was cheaper I guess?) so they can meet up. But after killing off a bunch Sharknados their flux capacitor goes awry and they end up in 20013 or something… Basically ‘Planet of the Aprils’! The movie goes completely absurd but does a much better job of going absurd than the past two sequels as this entry was much more entertaining of how they are trying to stop the Sharknados for good. It was a wonderful movie idea they ran into the ground but I am glad it exists for the mere reason it got people who usually wouldn’t pay attention to this kind of film to pay attention. So thank you Sharknado for the good and bad shark movie sequels as I give this entry 2 ½ stars. Also I give it three years before it gets remade???

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.