Tag Archives: Tim Gross

Episode 120 we invite T-shirt Joe back so we can be all over the map of filmland!

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This week T-Shirt Joe comes back to the show to tell us about Racism on Star Trek.  Along the way we talk about how Richard Pryor should have killed superman.  Zombie STD’s,  How awesome Hannibal the T.V. series has been, Juggalo’s being sighted in Kyle’s neighborhood, John Carpenter’s appearance on the El Ray network,  Liam Neeson: THROATPUNCHER!  We also got Arthurian Knights in EXCALIBUR.  Robot teachers in CLASS OF 1999 and Class of 1999 part 2: the substitute.  And a northwestern Amish like slasher in AMERICAN GOTHIC.  So download and enjoy, or Rod Steiger might sell his soul to SATAN!!!

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episode 120

In episode 119 we celebrate Mary Woronov!!!

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This week Tim and Kyle have inadvertently picked 3 movies to cover that all have Mary Woronov in them… So I guess it’s our Mary Woronov triple feature show.  We talk about 1983’s epic rock and roll drug and humor filled quasi concert flick Get Crazy, Then Haley’s comet fuck shit up in Night of the Comet.  And lastly The Ramones blow up your High School in Rock and Roll High School.  Along the way we have all our usual chat so enjoy.  And side note, this episode is dropping on Friday the 13th, so we hope you all like this show in which we don’t even say a word about the aforementioned franchise.  So have some fun and Gabba Gabba Hey.

 

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Episode 119

We are back with episode 118 where we tackle two cool flicks!

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This week we hit it hard straight outta the gate with 2 awesome movies Splatter Farm, and Sam Raimi’s return to horror in Drag Me to Hell.  Also, Tim sticks up for the Sid Haig movie Creature, Do we love, or hate Shot on video horror, Hipsters and their sketchy facial hair, Tim’s one time fandom of NASCAR???  What Kyle used to do on weekends in high school, Demolition Derby, Kyle’s internet gets blown up due to Game of Thrones, and intrusive ad’s, Weird Conspiracies, Movies we have never checked out,… and never want to, How awesome Hollywood Squares was in 1983, Chupacabras… and so much more.  So check it out.

 

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EPISODE 118

Gross Movie Reviews #321

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Gross Movie Reviews #321

 

By Tim Gross

 class-of-1999-poster2

Class of 1999 (DVD) – It’s the future and schools have gone to hell… Remember the film was released in 1990. But imagine “Escape from New York” at a school and its surrounding community. Gangs have taken over everything and the school system is looking for answers in what to do and Bob Forest played by Stacey Keach is here to give an answer. He introduces the principal (Malcolm McDowell) of this high school to three new teachers played by Pam Grier, Patrick Kilpatrick, and John P. Ryan and they just happen to be androids! Androids built for the ten year war in South America and funded by the Department of Defense. Meanwhile, Cody has just been released from prison and just wants his old gang to leave him alone so he can attend class and not do hard time. Soon Cody’s curiosity gets the best of him when one of the teachers kills a student when a gun is pulled. He learns they are androids and they are beginning to do what they were built for and that is to kill in this awesome Sci-fi action/horror flick. I give this cool film 3 ½ stars.

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Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (VHS) – The film picks up right after the events of the first film but the sequel wasn’t released until 1994. A man who looks like a private investigator is looking into the events of the first film and believes Bob Forest had a ‘Plan B’ if the first three androids failed? The private investigator is actually some dude that was thrown out of the Department of Defense but doesn’t know what the android looks like but is following the dead body trail. So when a stiff, tall, blonde dude shows up at a high school that is having gang related issues and students begin to mysteriously die the investigator looks into it. The sequel isn’t nearly as fun as the first mainly because the cast and the lack of budget compared to the first film as I have to give this flick 1 ½ stars just for Nick Cassavettes being in the flick!

 

Meateaters (Full Moon Streaming) – Its Mark Polonia’s latest independent flick with Brett Piper back doing dinosaur/creature effects. A dinosaur seems to be stalking the woods for humans to eat and some young people just happen to be hanging out there. I was expecting more of a SyFy Channel/Sharknado or even a Tiffany/Deborah Gibson effort but the film just didn’t seem to hit all cylinders at all during its 70 minute run time. I still enjoy Mark Polonia and his films but I have to give this one only 1 ½ stars.

 

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (DVD) – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson joins in on the action as Roadblock along with the original “Joe” played by Bruce Willis in a lackluster sequel with Cobra and his evil members already in the White House with a fake president controlling things and trying to kill the Joes! The first film gave me such high hopes for this series but I believe this sequel may have been the death nail?! I give the boring sequel 1 star.

 

Shakma (VHS) – Mother fucking killer ass monkey fucking doors up, now this is a bad ass movie! I am ashamed I never caught this flick when it was first originally released in 1989. Some doctors in training are playing Dungeons and Dragons in a school building overnight with Roddy McDowell as the Dungeon Master/teacher. Well they fuck up by shooting up a monkey with some shit after it was experimented on and it failed and poof “Killer Monkey on Speed”!!! AWESOME! And let’s not forget the excellent Amanda Wyss also stars. I give the flick 3 stars. So go watch Shakma fuck up some doors.

 

The Runestone (VHS) – This guy Martin brings home an ancient runestone from a coal mine in Western Pennsylvania to his place in New York City. He begins to study it and is possessed by the runestone and becomes this odd werewolf thing that is feeding on New Yorkers. And the only person to stop him is that bad ass long blonde haired villain dude from “Die Hard”! Cool creature, some blood, Western Pa is mentioned, I give it a solid 2 ½ stars.

 

The Unseen (DVD) – Here is a creepy flick from 1980 starring Barbara Bach as a news reporter and her two friends Vicki and Karen who worked with her get screwed out of their room during some town festival. Forced to look miles away for a motel and no luck they run into a chubby, sloppy, weird dude who offers them a room at his big house. Never mind the weird noises you hear in the basement and the chubby dude is just creepy especially when you learn he believes “incest is best”. The young reporter gets curious when her two friends go missing or were just pulled down the furnace vents and discovers what or who is living in the basement. A great ending to a film that may have been a little shocking at its time of release makes for a cool lesser known horror film worth seeking out as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

This week I found a way for Kyle to hate me!!!

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After the party crashing antics of Steven Segal last week Kyle and Tim have to rock a solo show.  This week we bring you a movie that splits us right down the middle.  Tim loves it, Kyle hates it… It’s heavy metal massacre.  And Kyle has blown the doors off the Disney vault to bring you an adaptation of Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked This Way Comes.  Along the way we talk some football as the draft has come and gone.  Answer your questions.  And Tim gives you his opinion on Charles Band’s “sketchy” release of Tourist Trap.  So check it out.

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EPISODE 117

Episode 116 and Steven Seagal joined us… maybe!

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This week Tim and Kyle welcome Jon Cross back for a little while as he stops by to chat… And unbeknownst to everyone on the show Jon has been moonlighting as handler for the one, the only, Mr. Flappy Hands Steven Segal… And we get to chat to his highness Mr. Segal too.  We Answer all your questions and cover a really interesting vampire horror/comedy in Anthony Hickox’x SUNDOWN: The Vampire in Retreat.  And Kyle covers a flick he’s been looking for a long while now in Doctor Butcher M.D. A.K.A. Zombie Holocaust.  So get your flappy hands to downloading this episode.

 

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EPISODE 116

Gross Movie Reviews #319

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Gross Movie Reviews #319

 

By Tim Gross

 

Red State (DVD) – Kevin Smith’s project about an extremist church group that has been inbreeding and collecting guns preparing for the end. Taking it the next step they lure three teenage males through a sex website so the preacher can make a point about gay people. Things go bad when the ATF is called in after a local deputy is shot when checking out a car on the property of the extremist church group. The movie is good for a few laughs but believe John Goodman’s performance is well worth watching the film no matter what your beliefs are? I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Black Death (DVD) – Sean Bean and David Warner stars in this dark adventure that is set in 1348 during the plague in Europe. Sean Bean who is a part of the church’s army is put in charge of taking a small group of men to a village in the marshland that has been said to be untouched by the plague. They stop at a monastery to find a guide and happen to find a young man who may have lost his way with god and wants to go find his lover. Sean Bean and his group tell the young man the real reason for going and that is to bring down the village and its witch that have betrayed god but the people in the marsh are ready for the group when they arrive. It’s a very dark look at the plague but Sean Bean is perfect for this kind of a flick and that is why I give it 3 stars.

 

Vikingdom (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Dominic Purcell plays a character that has been undead for ten years and must lead a group of fighters against Thor who apparently is a redhead in the SyFy Channel world. It’s kinda blah, so I suggest wasting your time on a different piece of shit movie. I give it a ½ star.

Music Store

Music Store Massacre (DVD) – Writer/Director Gordon Price gives horror fans a no budget film about an evil guitar that keeps showing up at murder scenes. Ten years ago a reverend is found mutilating himself to death as he kills a detective in the process. Now in present time the guitar resurfaces and seems to affect all who play it. Once possessed the person or persons kill all who ‘hate’. The same detective whose partner was killed ten years ago begins to connect the dots during the odd murdering spree in town. The very political incorrect independent film has a little bit of everything for horror fans: a little gore, a cool evil guitar, a little bit of boobs, possession, a dude cutting a tattoo off his girlfriend’s butt! I give Mr. Price’s project 2 ½ out of 4 stars and thank him for giving weird horror movie fans like myself another ‘massacre’ movie. You can find out more about Gordon Price and his project at www.facebook.com/musicstoremassacre .

 

Countess Dracula (Blu-ray/DVD Combo) – Synapse Films does it again with the Hammer Collection with putting together a great package for the flick “Countess Dracula”. The film stars Ingrid Pitt and Nigel Green in a film that was influenced by a real-life Hungarian Countess. Ingrid is an aging woman who comes across something that not only stops you from aging but makes you younger by accident when she cuts one of her housemaids after being angered by her. Quickly noticing the effects Ingrid’s character goes into full killer mode with some help to kill the housemaid returning her to younger days of beauty. Soon she feels alive again and puts on an act for all in her castle to win the heart of a young man but it comes with a price: she must kill a virgin often to keep herself young. And she bathes herself in their blood! It’s a creepy story that doesn’t involve the usual Hammer staples: Vampires, Frankenstein, etc., even though it has ‘Dracula’ in the title. The film has seemed to find more fans in the recent decade or so and I would like to believe besides it showing on AMC Horrorfest it is Ingrid Pitt’s unique charm she brought to the Countess character. The combo pack has a commentary with Ingrid Pitt, author, screenwriter and director. The combo also sports a featurette called, “The Cinematic Life of Ingrid Pitt” and an audio interview with Ingrid. Long live Hammer on Synapse as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and 4 out of 4 on the combo pack. For more information on “Countess Dracula” Combo Pack go to: www.synapse-films.com .

Croaker

Croaker (DVD) – Fred Terling, an independent filmmaker who finally got to realize his dream with his “Croaker” project hopes to give film audiences something a little different or something missing from cinema these days? It all starts with four kids years ago playing down by the old river bed only to have one of them disappear in a drainage pipe. Years have passed and a couple of locals have gone missing while many believe it’s the urban legend of a monster. Also it has come to light that toxic levels are on the rise in the river. Soon with more people missing and weird goo appearing, two of the friends from years ago try to settle their differences and find out what is the real reason for all the missing people and the legend of a strange creature that may have taken them? The film is not a horror film by any stretch but plays out more like an early 80s adventure film I use to see as a youngster on HBO, Saturday mornings. Imagine urban legend monster that isn’t all about blood and guts with a splash of adventure. It is always cool to hear from filmmakers that this was their dream project when I get to watch it. Plus, you get to see me play the role of “Drunk Fisherman Zed”! I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars and you can find out more information on the film at www.croakerthemovie.com .

 

Cockneys vs. Zombies (DVD) – A construction crew unearths a crypt that just happens to imprison a zombie plague and they have awakened them. Meanwhile two brothers and their cousin put a plan together to rob a bank so they can take care of their grandfather and friends whose home for seniors has just been shut down. Soon the zombies destroy East London and the boys must fight their way back to their grandfather to rescue him. It’s a quick, lean, mean zombie film that doesn’t fuss too much with story and keeps it gory and fun all the way through as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Dinosaur Project (DVD) – A UK found footage film about an expedition into the Congo of people hoping to find more than just dinosaur bones as people there have talked of strange creatures appearing since more deforestation has taken place in recent years. It’s a decent “let’s kill 90 minutes” kinda film that falls in the trap of we all have seen this film one too many times as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Episode 115 may blow your mind?

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This week we return with a vengeance and we bring two high quality flicks with us. We got Kyle’s misery with Comcast. Tim’s infinite love with Nailgun Massacre, We talk about the upcoming X-Men flick, How to properly teach you kids to swear, Kyle has seen the best movie of the year in Wolf Creek 2, What we would like to see in a Jason Voorhees T.V. series, And we talk about zombies in the British flick Doghouse.  And we review the action adventure, Indiana Jones rip off genre in Treasure of the Four Crowns.  So check it out.

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EPISODE 115

Episode 114 with Superfan Bryce!

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This week we finally get to welcome all around good dude, Cinema Wasteland buddy, super space Jesus, and Golden Girls fan BRYCE on the show.  And he brung Donnie Darko with him.  Also Tim is here to talk about Dylan Dog: Dead of Night.  We also talk about that time Bryce dressed up as plates at wasteland, Swayze why Kyle does, and does not like Darko, and SPARKLEMOTION!!! We also read your questions. Give you precise feedback on what we have been watching, and all sorts of other stuff too.  (NOTE) Kyle reviewed The Fan starring Robert DeNiro and Wesley Snipes but the mp3 vanished.  But you should give it a look because it’s great and Bob DeNiro is terrifying in it.

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EPISODE 114