Tag Archives: Tim Gross

Long delay but believe me the following episode and more makes up for it…

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This week we return (finally) from working tons of overtime to talk about the 1990 satanic slasher/serial killer film THE FIRST POWER, and A series of Spanish zombie movies known as The Blind Dead Series.  Also, Tim has found more god damned roller blade movies, College football sex scandals, The sad story of Lyle Alzado, Kyle watches Turbo Kid, and old school toys you could get from cereal boxes.  All this and more. So check it out, and we are sorry for the delay.

 

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episode 175

Gross Movie Reviews #359

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Gross Movie Reviews #359

 

By Tim Gross

 

Marley’s Revenge: The Monster Movie (VHS/DVD-R) – A low budget not so fun mess is the best way to describe this oddity. Apparently some dumb rednecks of a coastal town keep track of drug dealers and kill them. The rednecks mistaken two guys for drug dealers, they are actually trying to rescue relatives of the one from their native country… Details are scarce in this flick but what you need to know after a voodoo priest’s wife is killed by rednecks he brings the dead back to life and boring hilarity ensues if that is possible? I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Spasms (DVD) – Peter Fonda plays a parapsychologist who gets wrapped up in some zany snake cult in 1982. The movie doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but don’t let that stop you from witnessing a giant snake killing people on a college campus. And there is snake vision of course always an added bonus feature. I give the weird flick 2 stars.

 

The Boy (Chiller Channel/Theater) – An almost two hour set up of a man and his child living and trying to keep an old motel alive. Not much goes on there and not much business but a slow burn of watching a boy progress into a murderer is your thing? This is your movie. Not great, not horrible, just more disappointing for me as I thought there would be more to it after watching the trailers and Chiller Channel having a good track record. I give it 2 stars as I most likely will never revisit this flick.

 

Willow Creek (DVD) – So apparently Bobcat Goldthwait saw “Blair Witch Project” and decided he could use that movie concept for Bigfoot. Did it work… not really? I was into the couple being excited by trying to go to the original site of the Bigfoot footage that was captured in 1967 and trying to gather their own footage. But you lost me when yinz decided to set up a camera in a tent for 10 to 15 straight minutes pointing to the couple and just having sounds being made. Not giving away the ending to any that is interested but my “Blair Witch” reference most likely already has. It just seemed like another bad extended trailer for a “Paranormal Activity” movie? Bobcat I respect you dude but please go get into another “Police Academy” reunion movie sir. I give this flick 1 star.

 

Killer Party (Vimeo) – A group of filmmakers that go by the name “FuckYeah1990s” have made a short film and using a crowd funding website to possibly make the short into a feature length horror film. A masked skateboarder goes on a murderous rampage in a town where many hate skateboarders, make friends pay for Taco Bell, but they love their ‘Shaq Fu’ video game. I’m in! I laughed my ass off at the slaughter and enjoyed the humor of the short film. It reminded me of a younger Rick Fusselman and DSK-Productions and I could not get enough of those guys as I loved their independent films. So I give this project 3 out of 4 stars and wish the group lots of luck with the feature and hope to see it! More details go to: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/killer-party-feature-film#/story

 

Atari: Game Over (DVD) – A fun nerdy documentary about what ever happened to the Atari 2600 console and why the game E.T. killed it… supposedly. Not too long ago this story popped up on all the social media sites about where Atari may have dumped all the returned and unbought E.T. games from the early 80s and all this hoopla about how it killed it. Sorry but if you were growing up in the 80s like I did this was interesting. I was an Atari kid and then Nintendo and it did seem like overnight Atari 2600 disappeared. This documentary explains what actually happened and why while documenting some video game nerds going around a desert dumping area digging up garbage looking for the games. Or just finding mercury-laced pigs! Great documentary and even entertaining if you were not a kid of the 80s as I give it 3 stars.

 

My Brother Has Bad Dreams (VHS/DVD-R) – The 1974 film is known to most fans as “Scream Bloody Murder” but don’t get it confused with the 1973 film of the same title which could explain the title change to begin with. But our little weird film is about a young man named Karl who you learn is mentally handicapped. This happened when he was a child and witnessed his father killing his mother. Now Karl tries to pass the time fishing and bathing naked at the lake while his sister tries to figure out bills. Now this isn’t when Karl is having weird dreams that affect him to start talking to a mannequin and calling it his mother in a Norman Bates kind of way! Creepy and weird in that after school 70s TV special kind of way until Karl loses complete touch with reality, snaps, kills his sister Anna and her new boyfriend as he believes it time for him to go on a road trip. The film has one of the more trippy and twisted endings that I have ever seen and not totally know what to make of it but give it credit it was different. I give the film 2 stars.

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Manos The Hands of Fate (Blu-ray) – Well Manos has finally got the special treatment from the fine folks at Synapse Films. Now if it was warranted or not is up for debate as many declare this film to be the “worst film ever made”. I am sure “Troll 2” fans will not agree but that never stopped many horror hosts from making fun of this 1966 cult film for many years on their late night programs. That aside Synapse and company go to great lengths of putting together the most complete package for fans of this very odd cultish movie. By some chance you have never witnessed this wreck, carnage of so-called movie it is about a family getting lost on the backroads of Texas. They finally pull over to a strange cabin to be greeted by an even stranger character named “The caretaker”. There is no phone, no mechanic, and no nothing except the caretaker telling the couple “the master” will be pleased to see them. Weird shit keeps happening outside but never seen and then you have long scenes of Manos’ wives fighting and blaming the caretaker for problems. But if possible once the master becomes a part of the film it just gets weird, a little boring, and not sure exactly what they were trying to do with the film. For me I was never a fan but never said it was horrible because believe me I have seen much worse shit that people call a film. If you are a DVD-extra nerd and enjoy tidbits about weird horror movies like I do then you will be beyond pleased with the package Synapse has put together. And amazed what they have done with the picture quality of the movie itself. Entertaining stuff for a cultish film worth putting on your next shopping list as I give the movie 1 star but the full package 3 out of 4 stars. You can find the Blu-ray at www.synapse-films.com .

Mosquito-Blu-ray

Mosquito (Blu-ray) – Thanks to Synapse Films for digging this low budget 1995 classic up! Alien aircraft crashes in the woods and a mosquito bites a dead alien. Poof! Giant mutated mosquitoes flying around the woods. We are introduced to this by a guy and his girlfriend hitting one on the road and it exploding to pieces. They limp the car to a motel and try to get it fixed meanwhile we are introduced to a bumbling park ranger trying to fog out the skeeters around the park. A dude who studies meteors and is searching the woods for the one that fell the other day. And Gunnar Hansen with a ponytail and two brothers who have missed their exit and now are lost in the middle of the woods. Soon all characters come together after a horrific night of giant mosquitoes killing all the campers in gory fashion. The survivors try to band together and save the world from mutating mosquitoes in this Gary Jones directed low-budget 50s inspired big bug flick. And it doesn’t hurt to Gunnar Hansen slicing and dicing mosquitoes with a big chainsaw! Synapse Films of course does their best in not only cleaning up the original film but giving fans a great documentary on the film and adding in a commentary and deleted scenes. I have always been a fan of this low budget monster bug movie and now seeing it 20 years later on Blu-ray may have improved the entertaining experience that much more as I am thankful for that. I give the movie 3 stars and the Blu-ray package 4 out of 4 stars. You can find the Blu-ray at www.synapse-films.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Cinema Wasteland October 2-4, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.cinemawasteland.com for more details on the convention.

Gross Movie Reviews #358

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Gross Movie Reviews #358

 

By Tim Gross

 

Dark Tower (VHS/DVD-R) – This 1987 snoozer also had a great poster like “Nomads” but also sucked out loud! The only thing going for this flick Michael Moriarty and I will watch anything that fucker shows up in just because… But anyway Mr. Moriarty plays a security adviser of a new building in Barcelona where people keep dying on a regular basis. It gets so bad they bring in a parapsychologist and Kevin McCarthy to perform an exorcism on the place. It seemed long when I watched it and not much happens till the end which isn’t enough to make me send out the 80s movie enthusiasts to look for it. I give the film 1 ½ stars and maybe should stay buried?

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Halloween Hell (DVD/Vimeo) – Some college somethings come upon an evil statue thing that seems left over from a Full Moon flick made in the 2000s. A demon comes out of it and murders all of them. Years pass and it now it resides on set of a new reality Halloween show hosted by Dracula aka Eric Roberts. He brings in young, hot contestants that are supposed to stay or live through the next 24 hours, on Halloween of course, in this room with this evil statue/genie/demon doll thing. Whoever lives wins $100,000! There is buildup with strip poker and conversation until the thing comes to life again and begins slaughtering all who are trapped in the room with it while Dracula and viewers watch. I like the story concept because ever since I seen the film “The Running Man” I knew some of that TV shit they ran in the movie would be real someday cause society today is fucked. Now saying that it is very rare an independent or mainstream film is able to pull it off (Note: “Series 7” most likely pulled it off the best). I give kudos to filmmaker Ed Hunt having the great character actor Eric Roberts in as Dracula. But what turned me off the most from the film maybe the animation of the evil doll/demon/genie thing. I think I rather have seen a Killjoy rip-off or some attempt at creature suit more often than relying on the animation for the demon. But hey it’s a Halloween film and I am sure it will find an audience as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

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Hellbilly (DVD/Vimeo) – Filmmaker Massimilano Cerchi has dug up his independent 2003 release and has unleashed it to the horror masses again. The film is a lean, mean, gruesome tale of a masked machete wielding maniac who is on a murder spree in the countryside. When he isn’t busy jamming to some tunes in his trailer our masked fiend is busy fighting and killing blind people, tattooed nuns, and a stupid asshole with an unplugged chainsaw! No one is safe in this film. I have to hand it to Mr. Cerchi, the film looks like a rough draft and not the final product but made the film entertaining and not boring at all. It’s like Mr. Cerchi had an idea of an independent slasher for the ADD generation? No character development or story to be told… or buildup. Here’s the killer… Here are the victims… Gore!!! Jamming to tunes in the trailer… Credits! The film gets in and out before people have had their second slice of pizza and sometimes that can be a good thing. Hey the Polonia Brothers also worked on the flick. For that I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Go here for more information on getting your copy of the film: www.facebook.com/hellbillythemovie?fref=ts

 

The Barrens (DVD) – A father decides it is a good idea to take his family into the woods for some camping to help him bond with his teenage daughter and get her to except the whole family. Soon the father is having problems with other campers telling shitty campfire stories and a boy is hitting on his daughter when she is supposed to be having fun with the family. And there is this issue of him believing the Jersey Devil is out there and following them especially when they decide to leave the campground and go deeper into the woods. As he goes insane and his family fights and pleads with him to calm down bodies begin to pile up and the family finds out answers they or you the viewer are not exactly prepared for. A very good take on the Jersey Devil legend and a great story driven film that makes this lesser known 2012 release worth seeking out on Netflix, On Demand, amazon to add to your collection as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Violent Shit 2: Mother Hold My Hand (VHS/DVD-R) – An independent German gore film about a German dude who is interested in some horrible murders from the 60s, its killer (Karl the Butcher), and its copycats. So the person he is interviewing tells him the real story of the masked killer hacking his victims to pieces and his mother directing his rage. Fun and hokey direct-to-video gorehound stuff for the whole family. I give it 2 stars.

Vensus

Venus Fly Trap (DVD) – Massacre Video digs another independent forgotten gem from 1988 that involves punks, rich people, and perversion (a little bit). Three punks decide to rob a music store but become fascinated with a young rich/yuppie couple coming in and trying to steal stuff also. After some awkward dialogue the punks follow the rich couple to a small party where a lot more awkward dialogue happens, almost rape, drinking, a bad sex scene and then one of the yuppies are watching all on security cams. And that is when the blood and murder happen. It is a weirdo no-budget film that hardcore independent film fans will love to have a part of their collection. Thanks again Louis for finding these gems as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars and you can find more at www.massacrevideo.com .

six fingers

The Legend of Six Fingers (DVD) – Apparently there has been some random animal deaths in a small town recently where it interests two film students Andrew and Neil. They go interviewing the locals playing on the local sasquatch-like legend trying to make a documentary for film class. Once inspired by some of the stories they set out into the woods where they are eventually met with moving bushes, footprints, and an appearance of “Six-fingers”. After the great photos they captured from their first trip they choose to make a second trip thinking they will hit the big time if they can bring back more evidence of the local legend actually existing. Think amateur ghost hunting but for Sasquatch but in this case Six-fingers. I don’t know if you could exactly classify this film in the ‘found footage’ category as no one finds their footage but I can see why some would put it in the that category. But for me the film has that innocent/Boggy Creek feel and it doesn’t linger too long running time wise. I enjoyed the ending that actually fits the plot of the film and thought the cameos of Lynn Lowry and Debbie Rochon only helped the plot and not hinders it. And it never hurts when you can have the talented Gregory Lamberson as a producer. And now thanks to Camp Motion Pictures/Bloody Earth Films you can the DVD loaded with extras as I give the movie 2 ½ out 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Cinema Wasteland October 2-4, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.cinemawasteland.com for more details on the convention.

 

Our memorial to Wes Craven

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This week we lost Wes Craven.  And to honor him Tim and Kyle got together to watch his masterpiece A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. R.I.P. Wes, We may have not liked all your movies but you sure did make some great ones.

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

episode 174

 

We got a couple good choices for this episode!

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This week Tim and Kyle return after a week off and do it in fine form bringing you A quasi voodoo flick from that magical year 1987 in THE BELIEVERS.  And Tim brings to the table a great gorefest in FEAST.  Also, we talk about Tim’s trip to the Hollywood horror flea market, How our buddy Jon Cross blew it by not going to see a screening of Spookies,  and how our love of Mad Max: Fury Road continues to grow and grow.  So download this episode and have a great Labor Day.

 

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

EPISODE 173

Our R.I.P. Rowdy Roddy Piper episode

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On this episode we welcome back Steve Benningfield A.K.A. Ben Grimm back to the show to celebrate 3 films of the late great Rowdy Roddy Piper. It’s a celebration of the Rowdy on over here as we check out the all-time classic John Carpenter’s They Live, Then Piper teams up with The Tonga Kid to do some Rock N’ Roll wrestling with the Faceman in BODYSLAM.  Then in a post-apocalyptic world Piper has the best sperm on the planet in HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN.  Also we discuss a variety of topics.  The best being Bigfoot going on a rape rampage on a pot farmer in Washington.   R.I.P. PIPER….

 

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episode 172

Episode 171 is up for listening pleasure

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This week GARY HILL come back to the show (for a little while before falling into internet oblivion) to discuss PUPPET MASTER 4 and 5 and the great Italian gore masterpieces DEMONS 1 and 2. Also we talk about a murder that may or may not be happening on the show, the genre of Ringosploitation, Kyle gets addicted to the best videogame that has ever been made in Bloodborne, serial killers and their antics, we watch the Ash Vs. Evil Dead trailer, new Blu ray announcements, And we go through a list of films that Kyle has never seen.  

 

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

episode 171

Gross Movie Reviews #356

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Gross Movie Reviews #356

 

By Tim Gross

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The Ghost Club: Spirits Never Die (DVD/Vimeo) – The lower budget film stars William Forsythe as the caretaker of a haunted mansion (The Wilkensen Mansion) that has over a hundred years of hauntings. He has opened it up for some paranormal experts who have a TV show and are always on the prowl to investigate the next haunted place. Yes, it is influenced by “Ghost Hunters” and “Ghost Adventures” shows but what makes this flick a little different and interesting is the group of experts is not exactly sure they believe in ghosts. But their perspective changes quickly when the group begins to find actual proof of spirits. But the spirits are not happy they are there and begin to terrorize the group. Soon one or more members go missing, get possessed, and even get the shit beat out of them. Usually I am all about taking a huge steamy poo on these flicks because most are useless. But director Hank Blumenthal makes great use of William Forsythe and thrives with the story at hand where most fail! For that I give this flick 3 out of 4 stars. You find out more about the film at: http://www.michaelmailerfilms.com and watch it on Amazon Prime.

Bigfoot

Bigfoot the Movie (DVD) – This low budget flick is from filmmaker Jared Show who casts his Sasquatch film with Pittsburgh celebrities and “Pittsburgh Dad” himself Kurt Wootton. Kurt sets aside the character he is famous for to play one of the three main characters Chuck. The story centers around two of Ellwood City’s finest idiots Chuck and Dale who think they seen Bigfoot kill their friend. Eventually they involve the third main character Burl, an exterminator; to help them kill Sasquatch as no one in the small town believes them. While Bigfoot keeps decapitating the locals the only ones that seem to believe its Sasquatch is Chuck, Dale, and Burl as word has gotten out it is a bear or so it seems. Someone doesn’t want the truth to get out but the ‘three stooges’ want the creature dead. The film has quite a few laughs in it, has a great Burt Reynolds-style bar fight, and an amazing creature suit that makes the film well worth the watch no matter what your opinion is. The one thing that holds the film back is the ATV montage and the falling in love angle between Dale and the cute bartender about an hour in which stalls the laughs and the film in its tracks. But don’t let that stop you from enjoying a funny independent creature flick and one of the best Sasquatch costumes I have ever seen. I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.jspictures.com or you can also check out www.bigfootthemovie.com .

 

Terminator: Genisys (Theater) – Oh the brilliant and horrible mess this film is… I love it in all its horrible mess of glory. Pretty much this time around when you watch the film you are asked to forget everything you know from past films… literally. As if you try to piece it all together it will make your head hurt. But this time around when Reese goes back to 1984 he is the one being saved by Sarah Connor and her bodyguard Arnold the Terminator who was sent back several years before that. It took a few movies but apparently Skynet got smarter (hahaha) and sent a Terminator back in time to kill Sarah Connor when she was like 8 years old… Huh? Exactly, so fuck it! You wanna see old ass Arnold fuck a lot of shit up and still be a bad ass Terminator? Bingo! You got it but remember don’t do hard drugs or drink too much while watching or you might think its 2017 and Skynet renamed itself. I give the mess 2 ½ stars.

 

Monkey Boy (VHS) – This British killer monkey movie had so much potential as it begins with a monkey experiment gone wrong that kills several people at The Jenner Clinic. But then it does its best to bore you to death or put you to asleep immediately as ‘Monkey Boy’ kills some kids’ parents in the countryside to play Crazy Eights with them. Go figure… I give it ½ a star.

 

Nomads (VHS/DVD-R) – Pierce Brosnan is anthropologist that has finally come back home from traveling all over the world but apparently some weird tribe spirits have followed him home. And now they embody some street punks that happen to be Adam Ant and Mary Woronov who haunt Pierce for most of the movie if you are able to follow this weirdo flick. The evil spirits are called Nomads in this non-exciting horror flick. I give the film 1 star.

 

The Believers (DVD) – This 1987 voodoo film has Martin Sheen and his kid watching his wife get electrocuted in the first five minutes of the film. It forces Martin Sheen to move across the United States to take up his practice as a doctor for cops who recently had to kill someone on duty. While Martin isn’t banging the holly hell out of his landlady his kid has been marked for sacrifice by some weird dude that was brought into the US to kill first borns so their fathers get rich, powerful, and live longer. The material the film is based on is a lot more interesting than the film itself but the film does have its moments. I give the flick 2 stars.

Blood

Blood on the Reel: The Guts behind Indie Horror (Google/DVD) – This latest project from Johnny Daggers is a documentary of sorts that shares interviews, stories, and trailers of many independent filmmakers. Mr. Daggers interviews too many to count filmmakers and film critics to tell their stories about how they got started, what influenced them, and their passion for the business. It takes you inside and also supports what a lot of these men and women do not think as a hobby as much of a dream come true and will do anything to keep making it a reality. Filmmakers such as Massimilano Cerchi, Glen Coburn, Mike O’Mahony, Craig Everett Earl give you the viewer, independent film enthusiast an inside look like never before. Of course Mr. Daggers makes himself the center of attention because it’s his project but he does a superb job of getting information out of these filmmakers that may have never been heard by a mainstream viewer. The film is an eye-opening experience even for an independent movie viewing vet like myself and gets me excited to see such a project feature so many great filmmakers the world has yet to know. I give Mr. Daggers’ well-made and well-cared for project 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the film at: www.sglentertainment.com and www.sglmoviestore.com

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Cinema Wasteland October 2-4, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.cinemawasteland.com for more details on the convention.

Gross Movie Reviews #355

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Gross Movie Reviews #355

 

By Tim Gross

 

Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Once again there is Sharknados! And they are falling on the whole East Coast and Finn must save many people again. But hey his girl Tara Reid is pregnant and about to burst but first thing is first we must have too many cameos to list and Finn must kill some CGI sharks! This is what the film boils down too: The Hoff and Finn in a space shuttle vs a Sharknado wall. Fun movie but I had a problem with this entry and it’s not so much the movie is bad but getting stale and the social media experiment is over. Oh, let’s not forget most of the sharks films that were on SyFy Channel the same week seem to try incorporate the same stale elements of the original “Sharknado” flick. I call this “overindulging” and believe there will be a price to pay when the fourth flick is released next year? Don’t get me wrong love the idea but I just think it has run its course now as I give it 2 stars even if “The Hoff” is Finn’s dad.

 

Outhouse (VHS) – Thanks to Rick Fusselman for getting this short film to me as it’s brilliant. One problem it was an investment film made for fun to help promote an engineering and computer design website. “Say again please?” After going through its websites on the box and google search I came across their website that looks like it hasn’t been touched in five years just like the movie. Summary: Imagine “The Deadly Spawn” are in the only outhouse in the woods, fucking amazing. But hey I want to see what else they made and nothing. Love the short film but this pisses me off that they refuse to revisit this greatness. I give it 4 out of 4 stars. And if you are bored start your search on google with spectrumvideo.com.

 

Sharktopus vs Whalewolf (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Casper Van Dien, movie made in Dominican Republic, and it’s a Roger Corman presents film, you knew I was watching. Unless you are drunk I do not believe your sober brain could handle how this movie exists. So get drunk and watch the chaos that I laughed the whole way through for the mere reason people think Casper Van Dien still has an acting career or could act? I give it 2 stars.

 

3-Headed Shark Attack (SyFy Channel/DVD) – It stars Danny Trejo and Rob Van Dam (in socks and sandals) for no apparent reason but those two were the only highlights of possibly the most boring film I ever had the displeasure of watching and I enjoy bad films. But this was a disappointment on all fronts except Rob Van Dam… Dude you are an awesome wrestler but you fucked up with the wardrobe as I give the flick 0 stars.

 

Lavalantula (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Oh the words could not describe how excited I was for this film existing. There were rumors of a “Police Academy” reunion… but nothing surfaced but then it happened late 2014 I heard there was a SyFy Channel movie that was going to involve as many “Police Academy” members as possible. Cinematic gold my friends! Now I am sure there was too many obstacles to call it a “Police Academy” reunion but just to have them in a movie where Guttenberg and others fight lava-spitting spiders, BRILLIANT! The film stars: Guttenberg, Michael Winslow, Leslie Easterbrook, Marion Ramsey, Patrick Renna, Nia Peeples, and the man, the myth, the legend, “Jagoff Massacre’s” own MICHAEL VARRATI. Guttenberg plays a washed up actor who has just walked off set driving home to be with his son. But then a volcanic eruption happens and causing devastation around Hollywood area and lava-spitting spiders come rolling out of the Santa Monica Mountains! Pure greatness happens as Guttenberg fights his way home and his wife Nia Peeples helps him get back to the city to rescue his son. Outside of “Sharknado” this one of the best SyFy Channel flicks in years. If anything I could see the cast being rounded up for another SyFy Channel flick… “Sharknado 4” anyone? I give it 3 stars and do yourself a favor and watched the greatness!

 

Fear Clinic (DVD) – Robert Englund plays Dr. Andover in a story about a doctor that has discovered a way to conquer fear. Not exactly a favorite among doctors with discoveries he keeps to himself and keeps a small clinic open to help people. Some time passes and a few of his patients including Fiona Dourif come back to visit because the visions, fears, dreams are coming back and need help. But Dr. Andover is unsure of himself after losing a patient he thought he made a breakthrough with. The movie caught me off guard as I was guessing it would be a huge shitfest of a horror flick. It wasn’t, as the horror film is kinda creepy and taps into the mind that this stuff could be ongoing today. Worth digging this newer gem up as I give it 3 stars.

 

Rush Week (VHS/DVD-R) – Its 1988, its Rush Week, so of course there is an unknown slasher out on campus killing all the coeds. Oh let’s not forget the lovely Kathleen Kinmont shows up long enough to get topless and die. But the movie wants you to believe there is several people that could be the killer but like most cool 80s slasher films you figured it out quickly. Especially when everyone in most of the movie talks about what happen a year ago but doesn’t talk about what happens a year ago. All in all it has the boobs, it has the blood, and it’s like a lesser known mixture of “Killer Party” meets “Pledge Night”. This was one of those films that fell through the cracks but I eventually found it and glad I did as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Body Slam (VHS/You Tube/DVD-R) – The mid-80s classic that captures what Rock-n-Wrestling was all about stars Dirk Benedict of “A-Team” fame is a personal manager Harry M. Smilak. But Harry is having tough times until he runs into Quick Ricky Roberts (Roddy Piper) who he thinks is a musical act but is then introduced to professional wrestling. Roberts and his tag team partner The Tonga Kid want to be The Cannibals for the titles but the Captain will not give them the time of day since they refused to sign with them. Funny shit ensues as Smilak also manages a band named “Kick” and has them play a benefit that goes horribly wrong. Once seeing the tag team he manages gets hurt Smilak wants out of the business until he has an idea to combine music and wrestling. The cast includes besides the great Roddy Piper and Dirk Benedict: Tanya Roberts, Captain Lou Albano, Charles Nelson Reilly, John Astin, Sam Fatu, Afa and Sika – The Samoans ( I love those guys back in the 80s), Kellie Martin, Classy Freddie Blassie, Ric Flair, and Bruno Sammartino. Great cast, cheesy story, a match made for film as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Suckling (VHS/DVD-R) – The movie was known to most as “Sewage Baby” but independent it used both titles when released. This 1989 release is based on the supposedly rantings of a young woman in 1973 that was sent to an asylum quickly after. Think a little “Street Trash” maybe a little “Slime City” fits right in with those cool flicks as a guy takes his girlfriend to a brothel that just happens to be an abortion clinic too. The girlfriend gets drugged and has an unwilling abortion and the fetus is flushed down the toilet. You know wholesome family entertainment. But anyway the fetus has toxic waste leak on it in the sewer and it quickly mutates into this monstrosity that takes over the brothel! It quickly massacres all who are in the brothel except its mother so it can shrink and go back in her vagina. I get so excited just knowing these types of crazy horror flicks exist and the reason why we need more Blu-ray! I give it 3 stars.

 

Assassination Games (DVD) – Jean-Claude Van Damme and Scott Adkins are two assassins after the same target. One is doing it for revenge and the other for money until they get screwed over and begin fighting every criminal in Romania. With the newer “Universal Soldier” films it has seem to breathe new life in Van Damme’s career and give another a career in Scott Adkins. The film is just another bad ass action film in the recent Van Damme library. I give the film 3 stars.

 

Conan the Barbarian (DVD/remake) – So I finally made myself watch this lackluster remake. Not that it is a bad film but it’s not good either as it tackles the retelling of the 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger. For me at least the film comes off as a SyFy Channel fantasy film than a big block buster it was supposed to be. This time around Crom isn’t mentioned much and Conan fights a more of a sorcerer than a snake priest in James Earl Jones. I go back to why wasn’t Arnold involved and also this just exists kind of like the “Evil Dead” remake. It’s not good or bad but just exists and not very memorable. The movie seem more of a waste now more than ever as there has been a new Arnold “Conan” film announced so we will see what happens as I give this flick 1 ½ stars.

Rock

Rock N’ Roll Frankenstein (DVD) – Music agent Uncle Bernie and his nephew Frankie the scientist have an idea. The idea is to put together the next big rock star and Uncle Bernie would own everything. So Bernie sends out an old roadie and his buddies to dig up body parts from all the best rock stars. The only thing missing is the dick! The roadies fuck up and destroy Jim Morrison’s dick by accident and grab Liberace’s cock… cue all the politically incorrect gay jokes. Once the body parts are put together and “the King” is revived he isn’t all about singing the hits. But is coached along and starts to sing about his troubles: unnatural urges. The bigger the singer gets the more torn he is about his sexuality as his cock just wants dirty man butt as the dick eventually develops a voice. Meanwhile Uncle Bernie and Frankie constantly argue what is best for “the King”. An insanely fun politically incorrect horror flick that was able to combine elements of “Re-Animator, Hard Rock Zombies, and Rocky Horror Picture Show”. It is a gorefest to be sure and the band name and song “Unnatural Urges” are the two perfect words to explain Camp Motion Pictures latest DVD release but in a good way. The DVD has the usual extras of a commentary, behind the scenes, trailers but I believe horror fans will be happy knowing this hidden insanity of a horror gem has been restored to its original ratio. So gorehounds rejoice and start ordering as I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. It can be found at: https://www.alternativecinema.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Cinema Wasteland October 2-4, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.cinemawasteland.com for more details on the convention.

I bring back the Full Moon on our latest episode of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

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This week we return through a haze of grill smoke and overtime to discuss Charles Bands 2nd entry into his flagship series in PUPPET MASTER 2.  And the most obscure, rare, and hard to find movie we have ever covered on the show in KILLER DEAD a.k.a. NON VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES FROM OUTER SPACE.  A movie that we can only explain as maybe a Spookies 2… Maybe a proto Spookies… but we don’t care it have a ton of people from Spookies in it.  Also we get into a new segment on the show entitled “movies Kyle has never seen”,  Hamburger talk, Kyle sees Terminator Genesis and so regrets it,  Kickstarter shenanigans,  Kyle fixes the tax problem, viewer questions, and a ton more crap.

 

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

episode 170