CarousH3ll review!

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CarousH3ll (YouTube/DVD/Blu-ray) – The third entry into Steve Rudzinski’s wildly popular series “CarousHell” with the help of co-writer and ultra-talented Aleen Isley give us the next evolving chapter of Duke’s adventures. In case you haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying the past two Indy treasures: Duke is a terrifying killer carousel horse who has come to life to kill humans, had a child/puppet horse named Robbie, and has turned good in order to track down others like him that may want to use their evil powers to kill both of them. Okay that is a mouth full to take in but now we are caught up without giving too many spoilers away Duke has a new enemy in Usagi: a chocolate carousel bunny that wants to kill Duke  in order to steal his power to become the god she deserves to be. If that wasn’t enough Joe ‘the pizza man looking for his $42.39’ is back in a big way and seeking revenge even if he has only one eye. But Joe has found a new group of friends that want to protect Duke and Robbie from the evil Usagi which leaves Joe very conflicted. Of course along the way there is characters from the past that show up and we get introduced to a couple new intriguing characters as Steve and Aleen made sure ‘CarousHell’ fans get all the over the top carousel sex and violence you could want in your independent movie. This wonderfully entertaining sequel wastes no time jumping into the storyline getting the ‘CarousHell’ taste buds wet but for me it felt a little slow but they made me adjust on the run with this project as I think so highly of the first two films. As I said in the past Steve gave me “House of a 1000 Corpses” and then gave me the “The Devil’s Rejects” which was the best way to explain how I feel about the first two CarousHell films. Now both Steve and Aleen understanding it is virtually impossible to top those last two films went about their business quickly and smartly by not giving us “3 from Hell”. But embracing and understanding the story arc they have built over the past two films as they ran with the insanity and gave us an absolute surprisingly brilliant third entry that gives fans a perfect ending (maybe?). Seriously the cast, the music, the perfect running time of 68 minutes is great but the stand out of this latest entry might be the script from Steve and Aleen and their attention to detail and understanding of the fans of ‘CarousHell’. The writing of this film for me at least is their best work to date and have cemented them in making one of the best independent horror franchises a movie fan could ever watch as I give this enormously humor filled film 4 out of 4 stars. P.S. this film just shows these two are an extremely talented duo to be highly respected  in the independent world but also should make many other filmmakers scream for them to be a part of their next project!

Grossfest 2023 came, it happened, and accomplished its mission for independent horror!

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So Grossfest fans, vendors, and guests… I believe we have accomplished our mission! We are BACK! First, let me thank the Comfort INN there in Penn Hills for allowing me to be me and trying to give what I thought people would enjoy. Second, I got to thank Famous actor Tom Gross for allowing me to do my thing (being insane, maybe?) but also making things happen behind the scenes. Third and maybe the most importantly I gotta thank the great guests we had, the vendors, and people who paid ten bucks to get in. Without yinz n’at this wouldn’t be possible. So thank everyone: the hotel, the vendors, the guests, the people who bought tickets, and the couple people who heard my deep thoughts on the state of conventions this past weekend… This wasn’t the beginning of the end for Grossfest, this was a new beginning, a new chapter as we jumped a huge hurdle here and now we venture into preparing for an August two-day show in 2024. So stick around, give us some time to get some details figured out as we move forward and remember Grossfest is proof “just because someone tells you can’t do it, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to do it”. Again all of yinz n’at for your time and support and see yinz in 2024!

Gross Movie Reviews #613

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Day Zero (On Demand) – How to best describe this flick would be a Filipino version of “28 Days Later” starring a bootleg Vin Diesel but with lots of heart. Emon has been in prison for the past several years even though he was in U.S. Special Forces and counting the days to finally see his daughter. It is his dream that it is important enough that his best friend in jail is teaching Emon sign language so he can communicate with his daughter. Well helping Timoy from getting jumped one evening has Emon thrown into solitude but does not last long as the warden has told the prisoners they are released as a horrible virus is spreading quickly through the city. This strange virus is attacking people and causing them to want to chew on fellow humans without much explanation. Emon and Timoy once out and in survival mode head to the apartment complex his ex-wife and daughter lived and it becomes “The Raid” with infected as they must fight through the hordes of infected to find them. There is some very cool fight and kill scenes in this film and cannot say enough how much heart this flick has and how it separates itself from the usual zombie/infected/rage virus stuff as I give this flick 3 stars.

Resident Evil: Death Island (On Demand) – The latest animation film in the horror video game series that takes place 2015 San Francisco and all the usual characters are here: Claire, Jill, Leon, and Chris. All have gone in different directions since the original T-virus outbreak but all are tracking a new form of it that has shown up recently that does not require transference through a bite? Someone on Alcatraz Island has figured out through needle punctures and computerized bugs or “Bio-drones” he can target anyone. Fun stuff as usual with the animation as they haven’t screwed shit up and they have a ‘Zombie Shark’ as I give this feature 3 stars.

Blood & Gold (Netflix) – The setting is 1945 Germany and a group of SS soldiers are heading to a small village after they hang one of their own for desertion because they of bricks of gold that will help them after the war ends which is coming quicker than they want. A young woman cuts down this soldier who was hung and after healing up both come to have a bond over their hatred for Nazis as they have taken something very personal from them during this war. But while they try to plan out what or how they want to seek revenge the Nazis are in the small village asking questions that a few residents are not willing to give answers too about the gold. For from a horror film that doesn’t stop this from an impactful film with an interesting storyline and a nice bit of gore! For that I give this flick 3 stars.

Sharkspolitation (Shudder) – Another kick ass documentary that has shown up on Shudder where they cover everything from ‘Jaws’ to ‘Sharknado’ and everything in-between and how it has impacted society and cinema over the years. They explain the formula, the copycats, the rando forgotten shark films and why everyone lost their mind over an idea pitched to Asylum by SyFy channel? If you love sharks this will be your bonerjam as it touches on everything as I give it 4 stars.

Bloody Sect (DVD) – In what bonkers universe did this early 80s Spanish rip-off of “Rosemary’s Baby” come from? One stormy evening a crazy gypsy-like lady breaks into a man’s (Fredric) home to stab him in the freakin eyeballs with a fire poker because he banged some hot woman. After the event Fredric gets to keep the hot lady around because she wants to be married and get Prego. But the couple has troubles making it happen so they seek out a professional’s help and instead Fredric’s girl gets Prego with a creature from some crazy cult dudes who believe the second coming of Satan is well on his way? From there it just ramps up the crazy as the crazy gypsy-like lady becomes sort of a hero and some little brat of a kid screws up or does his best to screw up the second coming of Satan. Describing this film doesn’t justify how crazy this movie gets as much as you need to witness the greatness of this bonkers ass movie as I give it 3 stars and thank it for existing!

Forsaken (YouTube) – Another day at the office for Philip Brocklehurst as he makes a short film about a young man that witnesses a shadow that suggests many things could be going on or maybe nothing at all in this intriguing short film. The beauty of Brocklehurst’s work no matter how short form it is has been to make the viewer think? For that I always get excited when he has finished up a new short film and have to give for this project 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

One week till GROSSFEST 2023

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GROSSFEST 2023

Saturday, August 5th, JUST $10 AT THE DOOR for movies, vendors, guests, and just hanging with some very cool talented people!

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East
699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235
412-244-1600
or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com
Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests as always subject to change)

All we ask of yinz is your support and come and have fun! You want this to keep happening help support our little growing event. So let’s keep it simple and enjoy that Grossfest is back and with your support this is a new beginning for our Independent Horror Convention… again! See yinz there!

Gross Movie Reviews #612

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Invaluable: The True Story of an Epic Artist (Blu-ray) – This was and is a very special documentary that Ryan Meade wrote, directed, and shot several years ago and remembering seeing it for the first time then and just truly being blown away. This isn’t just a must have for ‘Evil Dead’ fans, this is a must see for all horror fans young and old! Ryan dug deep in bringing you the man, the myth, the legend behind the effects for the horror classic ‘The Evil Dead’ and telling the story of one of coolest horror genre icons, Tom Sullivan. Tom’s art, effects, creations, and personality are cherished still to this day. But his work on the original ‘Evil Dead’ was one of those moments that even if not a fan you could admire and understand how Tom’s work stood out among thousands of creations and effects throughout the years. The documentary tells the story of Tom from the beginning and through many interviews with Bruce Campbell, Josh Becker, Betsy Baker, Ellen Sandweiss, Theresa Tilly, and a host of others. It follows Tom’s career of how he met Sam Raimi and folks and how he created some of the most iconic horror effects in the past 40 years! This is a documentary that has heart and passion because Tom Sullivan is all of that and you don’t have to be a fan to get what Tom is all about but you will absolutely respect this man for all he has done. Like they stated in the documentary “No Tom Sullivan, no Evil Dead. It begins and ends with Tom.” Tom’s work and his care for the legacy of the series are beyond words and very appreciated by the horror community. But there is even more to this disc because there is another documentary on here that is worth watching, a couple Ryan Meade short films you won’t want to miss, and some unedited interesting interviews. Hell ‘Evil Dead’ kids there is something like four or five hours of extras that are not your typical throw ins to make you feel you paid for something this is for sure one of the few must own Blu-rays I assure you that you will watch from beginning to end quite a few times! Kudos to Synapse Films for getting this wonderfully passionate documentary from Ryan Meade and getting it out worldwide for all the horror community to own and enjoy as I easily give this package 4 out of 4 stars. Available through www.synapse-films.com

Da Hip Hop Witch (DVD) – What comes off as an old long continuous YouTube video of rappers before they were big, smoking weed and babbling about a crazy ghetto witch in New York? There is supposed to be a whole plot of five white people from Salem with a pug who caught up in all the hype and disappear but that gets all lost in chaos everyone babbling about a ghetto witch. And some repeating themselves in this feature that may have been funny in 2000 seems really dumb now as I give it a ½ a star for having a pug.

Open Grave (DVD) – A man wakes up in a pit of dead bodies with no memory of how or why he is there but finds a rope thrown to him so he is able to climb out. Still being a bit disoriented he is able to find his way to a house where he is surrounded by a group of people who have the same questions as he does and soon do not trust each other as things do not make sense. This includes other people they find are in some kind of fucked up zombie state where they attack humans who are not infected with whatever this problem that is going on? Things get a little insane and hard to follow but it’s all worth sticking it out and seeing how this interesting take on a certain horror genre film gets to the end as I give it 3 stars.

Kids vs. Aliens (Shudder) – For me at least this was an oddly paced film taking place around Halloween where aliens have landed in a lake and some fishermen go missing. From there we get the stars of the film, all kids who are trying to film a movie because their parents are never around and they have a wrestling ring of course to use! But the older sister finds herself in an odd place as the cool kids find out about her parents out of town and choose her house for a Halloween party. Seems like the usual teenage coming of age movie until the aliens show up to crash the party and kidnap many of them and take them aboard their ship at the bottom of the lake. There the kids get you choice but to be melted down by space ooze or have alien spit dumped on them to change them into an alien hybrid! A fast but again oddly paced alien film of literally ‘Kids vs. Aliens’ as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Wrath of Becky (On Demand) – It’s been three years since the incident of Neo-Nazis killing Becky’s father and Becky fighting back against those cruel bastards in a bloody battle to the end. Since then Becky has been on the run and at age 16 she is trying to stay off the grid as much as possible. But by chance Becky happens to be hitchhiking and finds a friend in an older woman who doesn’t ask questions but enjoys the company. Both are unsure of each other but the situation works. With Becky finding a slight glimmer of hope she finds herself being stalked by three all white males known as the ‘Noblemen’. Basically neo-Nazis with a different name and they shoot her roommate in the head and steal her dog. The event of course pushes Becky into survival mode and she goes looking for these men finding out there is a couple more and they have plans for the small town they are staying in. The film doesn’t vary away from what worked the first time and go for the jugular again of continuing a character and her story that we all quite enjoy. Again great cast, smart to stick with what works, the Becky character is just absolutely entertaining as I believe they got another less talked about hit again on their hands as I give it 4 stars. The only thing I will say about the film and it isn’t a flaw as much as an observation without spoiling the film is if they try a third film it will “jump the shark”!

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #611

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Mad God (Shudder) – I’ll be honest about this flick Joe Bob Briggs gave me a reason to finally sit and watch this film. It always had my interest but I would always find something else to watch? Mostly because I had a feeling this movie might be a bit too artsy for me or fall into “not my cup of tea” kinda thing? Anyhow this film took thirty years to make as it’s a stop-motion animation of a post-apocalyptic world where a thing is sent into this visually stunning world to carry a bomb to the deepest depths of it. Mission would be accomplished but it is stopped by a crazy monstrous thing. This world has tons of creations to enjoy but it is hard to follow and definitely not a project you could classify as horror. This film reminds me of an old show “SyFy Exposure” that use to run late Sunday nights on SyFy Channel where you get to see several off the wall short films from filmmakers all over the world. It is an interesting project but with a run time at 110 minutes and not being your typical film to follow be prepared going in as I give it 3 stars for being wonderful to look at but is not my cup of tea thing.

Hellblazers (Tubi) – Here is a modest budget horror film that most horror fans would blow off because if you read the description and seen the cast your response would most likely be: “Great another stupid convention all-star horror film where people say their one line and collect a paycheck in a horror film with no soul.” Well kids this one is a little different (we have seen this story before… but) and worthy giving a chance as everyone has a role to play in making this quite entertaining. In a small community of Hope Valley where Billy Zane and friends raise a demon kind of surprisingly after a ritualistic sacrifice. Now a big city sheriff is trying to adjust to small community police work until this comes to light as a demon now stalks the town to feed to become stronger. With the help of the countless cult members the small community is quickly cut off from the rest of the world and as the demon feeds it becomes disgustingly cooler! Now the cast: Billy Zane, Tony Todd, Meg Foster, Adrienne Barbeau, John Kassir, Bruce Dern, and Courtney Gains. For this little horror surprise I gotta give it 3 stars.

Camp Murder (DVD) – A 2021 Mark Polonia film where a patient of Dr. Lewis decides it is time to leave the asylum when Dr. Lewis is retiring after 25 years. The patient Tommy escapes and returns to a campsite where it all began so many years ago. Problem is an Indy wrestler and friends have chosen to camp out for a couple of days in the same area. Doesn’t take Tommy long to find a mask and weapons to help him slaughter anyone in the woods. Funny thing is there is a subplot of the female Indy wrestler plotting to kill her husband for one of her fans because said fan of hers has a big dong! Starts off promising but quickly falls off of being any bit entertaining as you feel like Mark Polonia and crew slept walked through this one in two or three days as I give it 1 star.

Camp Murder (DVD) – Oh you are reading that correctly as I found another movie of the same title that came out a year later from Josh Bzura where a radio dude tells a Halloween story of some Adamsville people who get slaughtered at a summer camp August 1984. We all have seen this film hundred times or so but full kudos to Josh and crew for having a great set up, great use of location, a solid cast, and people that knew how to have fun with the formula of a masked killer at summer camp with a machete. There is a couple things that happen in this film that make me giggle as Josh does a great job building up some of these characters and capturing the awkwardness of others as this another worthy Indy horror film worth checking out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Manhattan Baby (DVD) – It is 1982 and an archeologist disturbs a tomb and sets in motion an evil spirit following him back to New York City as he is found blind outside of the tomb. It takes some time for the archeologist to regain his sight but by then strange things already begin to happen in this weird Fulci feature. Mostly because the dude’s daughter has some ancient medallion that has chosen to possess her? So if you are looking for “Zombie” or “Gates of Hell” you will be way off with this one so don’t be surprised this makes your favorites of the Fulci collection as I give it 2 stars.

The Blackening (On Demand) – A mostly black casted horror film that has one of the greatest taglines ever, has the cast heading to a cabin in the woods to celebrate Juneteenth holiday. The couple who rented the cabin find a board game that sets up the plot of the film where the black characters are forced to answer questions or die. As they are forced to play there is a masked character trying to kill them off one by one and they let the jokes fly that keeps the film moving at a crisp pace. I absolutely loved this film until about 45 minutes in as it was like the filmmaker ‘let off the gas’ until the last few minutes of the movie which is very culturally relevant and a solid entertaining horror movie. For me I just wish they would have kept the gas to the floor, but watch it, enjoy it, understand it as I give this 3 ½ stars.

Amityville Death Toilet (DVD) – Welcome folks to entry #53 aka “Death Toilet 5” as I couldn’t track down part four but was able to find this entry where the first kill has a gentleman sitting on a toilet and getting killed so hard he loses his mustache! But Evan Jacobs who has been behind all five movies decided it was time to set this one in Amityville where Mayor Dump the mayor of Amityville is flustered and wants an end to the senseless murders by the death toilet. Because you know it will kill the tourist season for Amityville! So Mayor Dump hires a ghost hunter Gregg G. Allin (G.G. Allin yinz clever bastards) who literally has tens of followers to take care of the death toilet before tourist season starts for Amityville. Pretty much a 71 minute feature with lots of filler could have easily been cut down to 20 minutes as I give this a 1 star.

Track of the Moon Beast (DVD) – A hokey mid-70s film where a small part of a moon rock falls from the sky and lodges itself in this dude Paul that causes him to change into a lizard monster at night. As humans die a local professor and police debate over lizard creatures walking the earth millions of years ago as they try to stop Paul before he eats his way through the locals in this cheesy mess that I am surprised haven’t run into over the years on a horror host show. For that I give it 1 ½ stars.

Subspecies V: Blood Rise (Tubi/DVD) – Charles Band and Ted Nicolaou return to a fan favorite ‘Radu’ who was one their staples in the early days of Full Moon. This story tells the story of Radu shortly after being born is stolen by the church and grows to be a crusader who tracks down evil for a living. But Radu makes a mistake one evening rescuing a woman and her child believing there has been enough death and just coming face to face with his father/master. After several days of trying to help this woman and child, the woman is a vampire and bites Radu thus beginning Radu’s transformation into an evil vampire with no master who thrives on death and destruction. This was a wonderful edition to the “Subspecies” series and makes you wonder why Charles Band can’t get his shit together to make more projects like this that makes you nostalgic for the original Full Moon days but actually have hope of seeing some cool new shit from them. Old Full Moon fans like me will be actually delighted with this entertaining entry as I give it 3 stars.         

Raw Nerve (DVD/YouTube) – An oddball serial killer film that stars: Sandahl Bergman, Tex Cobb, Jan-Michael Vincent, and Traci Lords in 1991 which spells B-movie gold that was most likely a direct-to-video release back in the day? A detective baffled by the mysterious serial killer who has killed over the last several days is known to shoot the women victims in the face. Meanwhile, Jimmy an amateur race car driver has visions of the murders and goes to the police about it but they don’t believe him. Oh did I mention you will know who the killer is five minutes in and there is some weird plot twist about incest? Believe me it is cheesy and weird enough to keep you entertained for 90 minutes as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #610

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Cocaine Cougar (Tubi) – Dustin Ferguson is back at it again like a lot of people doing a parody of “Cocaine Bear” but the movie is only 50 minutes long and 15 of that is credits? Sorry my friend you are no Charles Band and people know I have given that dude some shit over the years for that. But anyhow a cougar breaks out from the Ferguson Labs where the bad CGI cougar kills a drug dealer and snorts cocaine. Then the rampage is on the so-called mountain side where you hear lots of terrible jokes. Mr. Ferguson is a talented person but I have always felt he does much more with documentaries and extras for other movies than he does for his own work if that makes sense as sorry my friend I gotta give this a ½ star.

Doll Shark (Tubi) – Of course it is from the minds of Mark and Anthony Polonia as they are back at it with another shark movie but the biggest problem is they didn’t have shark movie expert Maddie Deering involved and that was a mistake. We begin with a child named Kirby receiving a stuffed animal shark from his father that has an evil shark tooth placed inside for luck but actually possesses the stuffed animal. Kirby loves the thing and even has it watched the cartoon it is based on with him but things get crazy when the possessed shark eats a dog and random humans in this hilarious Indy film that honestly would have been better if Maddie Deering of “Spirit Animal” and “Bathtub Shark Attack” was a part of that so I can only give this project 2 stars.

House Squatch (DVD) – For the love of fuckin’ Rutger Hauer I never thought I would see the day of this kids but thank you Mark and Anthony Polonia for doing something that has no business making me laugh the way this one did. So apparently when Squatches are threaten or they were a human’s pet as a small Sasquatch they will revert to going back to houses??? Sure, this is stupid, I am in! After rumors of a Squatch squatting in some houses of a local real estate mogul the local sheriff is pressured into trying to remove this creature from the homes as it is killing people who bother it. Think of this as a long “Three Stooges” skit where they are trying to trap Bigfoot. So if yinz need some laughs in your life look no further as I give this horror Indy comedy 2 ½ stars.

The Mutation (DVD) – A giant rat/human hybrid experiment has broken out its cage from a rando scientist’s basement who has been working in secret. Now the rat is seeking victims out on the city streets and eludes the zoologist that is brought in to help authorities. The movie isn’t real entertaining until “an extreme rules match” breaks out between a waitress and the giant rat in the middle of a restaurant where the bad ass cop leading the investigation cannot get his gun out but watch the carnage. There was a story, a rat costume, but the execution could have been a lot better as I can only give this film 1 star.

Claw (DVD) – A recent lower budgeted flick about a gene-splicing experiment or raptor gets loose in a ghost town. Two people heading to L.A. break down and walk back to this ghost town in hopes of a phone but instead are in for the fight of their lies with this pissed off creature  that seem to kill only one person the whole movie? Who thinks this movie would have been better if it was called “Tourist Trap vs. Raptor” and Chuck Connors and Lorenzo Lamas ghosts showed up? Since it’s not that lets give it 1 star and yes I know Mr. Lamas is alive… maybe?

Blood Punch (DVD) – A college dude named Milton is in drug rehab after he got busted and trying to put his life back together. But then a hottie Skylar comes a calling in the rehab center looking for someone to help her and the crazy boyfriend to cook meth for a day and make a shit ton of money. Everything is normal until the three show up at a cabin to begin the process and Milton begins to keep reliving the same Tuesday everyday Groundhog Day-style! This is where the film begins to get even weirder as Skylar remembers everything that has happened and apparently has killed Milton several times as the bodies of Milton are piled up beyond some rocks. It gets a bit confusing and I am not totally sure if they get it right but you gotta give them this they came up with one weird movie about making meth where everyone gets killed multiple times as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Annihilators (DVD) – Imagine New World Pictures decided to make a B or C-list version of “The A-Team” in 1985/1986 and you have your 90 minute movie. This feels like a direct-to-video kinda of thing that I am surprised I never had the pleasure of crossing by in the video store where a group of bad Vietnam soldiers head home after the war only to come together again ten years later for a friend. Their friend Joey gets slaughtered by a local gang who has been pushing around all the little community businesses for extra cash. So the old Sargent makes a few phone calls and gets the squad together to teach the community to defend themselves and they go on the offensive against these street thugs. A super solid action flick that will have you saying the whole movie “hey, I know that guy” as I give it a solid 2 ½ stars.

Fear Pharm 2 (DVD) – The sequel picks up right from the first film but also quickly goes back 15 years ago to explain how it all started at ‘Cool Patch Pumpkin Farm’ and the breakthrough for the facial cream began. These days Herschel is looking to expand their product as we find him on some kind of Home Shopping Network selling the facial cream and advertising the farm. With growing bigger comes great risk as the survivors find themselves all getting loose and running into the corn maze to escape to get the authorities involved. Herschel and his daughter are at odds most of the film as he is about family and she is about the thrill of the kill but they must work together or the whole thing is over. The sequel has heart, smartly written and well casted, with the effects a little bit too be desired compared to the first film but still a solid effort as I give this 3 stars.

Children of the Corn (Shudder/remake) – Yes people another remake and I think this makes 11 movies or something I actually have lost count. Anyway this version decided to take a different route and have it entrench in today’s farming but harks back to the original of trying to be lean and mean and that isn’t a bad thing. After a horrific accident between police and a child care facility a girl Eden wanders out of the woods with a different attitude on life. When all the adults decide to burn the corn crop because of terrible problems and make fun of the children at a community meeting, Eden decides it is time to round up the other children and take over the town. Bo who is on her way to college tries to come up with a resolution but quickly finds herself trapped as Eden as all the adults executed in various horrific ways. This might not be the best of the bunch but it’s got some bite, a little brutal, and way fuckin’ better than that SyFy Channel remake several years back that just left a sour taste in your mouth as I give this movie 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #609

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Stalled (DVD) – It is Christmas Eve, it’s a Christmas party, and a janitor with a toolbox full of cash finds himself trapped in a stall of the women’s restroom when a zombie virus breaks out. Two women come in and one thing leads to another as one begins to eat the other and with no time passing at all many other zombies begin to enter the restroom. Surrounded by zombies and blood the janitor is alone and trying to figure out how to survive but soon finds out he is not alone as a female voice begins chatting with him. Trapped the two talk things out on how this all got started and why they are the way they are. Funny, some gore, and great use of one location makes this an entertaining watch as I have to give it 3 stars.

Eternity (YouTube) – Philip Brocklehurst hard at work as usual throws this new 2 ½ minute short film out there that shows how long and short life can be at the same time but super effective and visually pleasing. Give props to my friend across the pond trying to do something outside of the box and a little artsy as I am sure it won’t be too long before he does something horror related again as I give this short 3 ½ stars.

Midnight Massacre (YouTube) – In my never ending search of “massacre” flicks I find this 39 minute dramatic horror film from India I believe? A small city has had several recent murders and they believe there is a serial killer loose to the point the police have a curfew for the residents. Meanwhile a young lady waits at the train station for her brother to come pick her up unaware of the recent murders and police with no clues. Lots of cool buildup with a nice payoff even if it claims it “will be continued” as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Fairhope Massacre (YouTube) – A recent 28 minute film about two young friends heading to a cabin only to be stalked by a bootleg tater sack Jason! It is a nice stab at doing a sort of fan version of “Friday the 13th: Part 2” to sharpen the skills for a more original project. You may have seen it before but always enjoy watching something from young folks that you clearly see and feel they are doing this to prepare for something bigger film wise. For that I gotta give this fun project 3 out of 4 stars.

Motorboat (Tubi) – Mark Polonia reaches into his old bag of tricks from the early 90s to give us a no budget horror film about a possessed boat. A cult called ‘Brotherhood of Darkness’ prepares themselves for sacrifice and a mysterious priest kills them and disposes of them in a lake. Now two years later the cult seeks revenge through a possessed plastic motorboat that lures people to the water and cuts them down with the motor. We get some of the usual characters from past Polonia Brothers films while the plastic motorboat terrorizes the small lake town but there is hope in this mysterious priest and a harbor officer. Plastic boat, some techno music, and the evil motorboat getting destroyed by a Spirit Halloween prop. We laugh, we cry, but this is when I enjoy a Polonia film for what it is as I give the possessed boat film 3 stars.

Cocaine Shark (Tubi) – Then we move on to another Mark Polonia film where it seems Polonia is always trying to stay ahead of the parodies gives us this flick. Nowhere near as fun as “Motorboat” as this felt more for the paycheck than doing it for the art but anyway we got a druglord Felix who has a scientist who can make a drug from shark glands. If that wasn’t enough an accident happens and the human hybrid crab shark gets loose that was a part of the experiment. A lot of filler that takes up the film is a plot of an uncover cop who gets in good with Felix to bring his operation down. After about 80% of the film the shark hybrid thingy starts killing people. This was super terrible and not even bad in an entertaining way as I gotta give this waste of a parody 0 stars.

Amityville Emmanuelle (Tubi/DVD) – Welcome to all who don’t care as this is entry #52 that runs at 66 minutes and misses the total point of it being an “Emmanuelle” film. Now pay attention to the names of the characters as this will make sense not matter how terrible you think the film is? Anyway Laura Lutz daughter of George Lutz gets a bonus at work that allows her to buy a house/the American dream. Once settled in, an older woman stops by to explain she was a friend of her father’s on his deathbed and wanted Laura to have some things. One of them being Ronnie DeFeo Jr.’s ashes as George Lutz was obsessed with the house that the murders that happened. Of course this causes Laura’s friends to play with an Ouija board and her to have ghost sex! But DeFeo’s ghost wants more than sex and that is death! They bring in a psychic, have a séance, and bring DeFeo into the real world to try to kill him. All makes sense in the end except past “Emmanuelle” films were softcore porn and this was more softcore of a softcore porn???  It was weird to watch ghost sex but this was still a missed opportunity or more than likely toned down so it could be shown on mainstream streaming sites like they did with real porn in the early 2000s as I give this entry 1 ½ stars.

Big Freakin’ Snake (DVD) – Another project from Dustin Ferguson where it only lasts 46 minutes and the giant snake shows up at the beginning and the end of the film. Somewhere in the middle is a story about a possible gas leak or chemical spill (you take your pick) that causes rattlesnakes to go crazy and attack people everywhere near L.A. You also get some stock footage of snakes and the usual suspects of Mel Novak, Brinke Stevens, and Shawn C. Phillips showing up for a couple of minutes. Not totally sure what to make of this mess except I know Dustin has a cult like following but I would still proceed with caution in watching as I give the movie 1 star.

Metallica Through the Never (DVD) – Literally a 92 minute concert video with a small plot of a young roadie trying to seek out a dufflebag for the band with a small element of horror added into it. If you are a Metallica fan you’ll enjoy it for what it is if you are weird like me you still wonder what was the point and what was in the dufflebag as I give the concert video 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest is coming August 5th!

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Let it begin as we are a little over a month away: Tell your friends, family, whoever as every little bit will help. My people we get through the door to check out the vendors, guests, etc., the better it is for Grossfest happening year in and year out for years to come. See yinz August 5th!😀😃

Grossfest returns in a big way Saturday, August 5, 2023!!! We are going to party like Grossfest 2018 because unlike other conventions we are sticking with “PRE-COVID” PRICES!

$10 ticket to get in/$50 for a vendors table

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East

699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235

412-244-1600 or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com

Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests will be announced soon and as always subject to change)

All we ask of yinz, is your support! You want this to keep happening you have to get your asses there and plus to answer any questions of it: Yes, a two-day event is already in the plans for August 2024! (We need to take the first big step back) So let’s keep it simple and enjoy Grossfest is back and with your support this is a new beginning for our Independent Horror Convention.

Guests:

Drew Marvick

Madeline Deering

Jim Roberts

James L. Edwards

Steve Rudzinski

Adam Clevenger

The Mummy and the Monkey

Movies:

Hexercise

Then My Mind Walked Away

Shingles The Movie

Bathtub Shark Attack

Doomsday Stories

Night of the Axe

Grossfest 2023 Vendors so far…

Cluck, Cluck Productions

Glyphs & Glam

Dazed and Disorderly

Barry the Movie Demon

Wolf Hollow LLC

MMH Productions

Pgh Scrubs Guy

Minerva Trinkets LLC

Nostalgic Nightmare Productions

Face Melt Productions

Broaden Torture Productions

Drunken Yinzers Productions

Video Nasty Productions

13 Occult

Shoggoth Suds

Midnight Magazine

Independent American Pictures

Addison Binek

Luther Cosmo Ickes

48 Hour Film Project (Pittsburgh) PJ Gaynard

Kiss of Death Productions

Cindy’s Creature Chaos

The Cinema Psychos Show

The Artwork of Travis Trium Perfectum

1331 Studios

Neen’s Soaps

Such Babz Customs

Sydneys Scrunchies

Spirit of Halloween

Rosabella’s Magical Resin Shop

Gross Movie Reviews #608

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The Amityville Curse (Tubi) – Well kids filmmaker Eric Tessier decided to throw his hat into the ‘Amityville’ ring with entry #51 that became a TUBI exclusive. This film into the never ending franchise has a group of friends moving in together in the legendary haunted house with plans to fix and flip (interesting?). Of course it doesn’t take long for weird shit to begin happening in the house and the group of friends begin to die. They thought the ‘murder house’ thing was overblown but oh they were wrong after the first of them die and the internet freaks come to cash in on the legend? We get a séance, suicide, a priest, and even possession. The film does its best to keep it serious and connect to the original all the way to the bad ending. Now you can take that for what’s it worth as this is one of the better entries into the series but felt the filmmaker painted himself into a corner with this ending coming just to keep alive a chance of a sequel? We all know there was going to be another but this had something going like “Amityville: The Awakening” but fizzled as I give 2 ½ stars.

Bathtub Shark Attack (Theater) – Only from the brilliant mind of independent filmmaker Maddie Deering could a killer shark movie that takes place at times in a “bathtub” and star Lynn Lowry. Hello… SyFy Channel, Discovery, I think you have your next hire? A bubbly couple down on their luck happen to stumble on an offer of great proportions or let’s say cheap when they find the perfect apartment they can afford. Unbeknownst to the couple this little apartment house is home of a dark secret and few are left to talk about it as the tenants usually check in but never check out. As the longer they stay the more Cindy changes as this causes Chad to get to the bottom of the strange happenings and find out how there is a connection to an evil shark god that likes to feast on people in their tubs! This SOV throwback has everything from wall to wall gore, to Lynn Lowry, to human ritual sacrifices (sort of don’t want to give everything away), to a plumber that refuses to die, to a shark that has a dick?! You may believe you have seen every shark movie but there is no way in hell you could think of any more zanier or entertaining shark movie than Maddie Deering delivers here as I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

She Came from the Woods (Tubi) – Bad ass William Sadler stars and produces this nostalgic slasher that takes places at a summer camp 1987. It is the end of the season for Camp Briarbrook and the young staff as usual as the end of the season fire, drinking and such but this year decide hey lets be stupid and do a bloodletting ritual. This is something to do with an urban myth a decade or two back but learn the hard way this was something that really happened and camp counselors are getting shredded by an evil camp nurse from the past! This has a good pace, good formula, a good amount of blood and feel like horror fans will be in for a treat as the summer kicks along as I give this 3 stars.

Night Monster (DVD) – One those oldies but goodies from 1942 starring Bela Lugosi that I never had the pleasure seeing completely through until now. A crippled rich man summons a group of doctors to his mansion to witness a miracle but of course the doctors believe they are just there for a large donation. With the help of mystic powers the doctors’ witness the miracle and a couple refuse to believe it goes beyond modern medicine while another believes they were summon there for revenge by Mr. Ingston. The doctors one by one the doctors die but who is doing the killing as Mr. Ingston cannot even get him out of bed. A fun little oldie that is great for beginner horror movie fans as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Midnight Screening (DVD) – Supposedly this is an Indy slasher that takes place at a movie theater where employees are getting to watch the latest movie at a midnight screening before the public? But instead is an utter boring piece of trash with an ending that will leave you wanting to forget this movie actual exists. Now seriously: you have the location, a passable or possible likable cast, and this is all you come up with? Need to sleep at night watch this and you’ll be sleeping like a baby in ten minutes as I give it 0 stars.

VampyrZ on a Boat (DVD) – Not sure what in the hell I exactly watched but here goes… apparently there is a scientist on a boat that is researching an unstoppable force locked in the bottom of a vessel, a vampire. This scientist’s goal of course is to find cures for (insert whatever disease here) and figure out how this is possible? The other plotline going here is this old dude (Max) who may or may not been some kind of merc decades ago and now is old and retired getting it on with this young hottie Sara. Vampire gets loose and spreads the infection; Max gets clobbered in the head with a hammer by his friend and then gets stuck in some kind of “Groundhog Day” time loop… maybe? It kept my interest but totally sure what the fuck I watched as I give it 2 stars.

The Black Demon (DVD) – A Mexican shark film that mostly takes place on an oil rig off the coast of Mexico. Paul a rep for Nixon Oil and his family head there for a family vacation and for him to do an inspection on the oil rig to decide if it’s worth saving or decommission it. Instead they come to a dead small Mexican town and a giant shark that may or may not be a mythical god seeking revenge on those who have taken too much from the earth. If you like your shark movies a little mushy and family oriented with lots of floating body parts then you’ll be entertained as I give the shark flick 2 stars.

American Bigfoot (DVD) – Okay what in the shitty Bigfoot fuck did I stumble into as this was one of four Bigfoot movies with the same title but this was the first as it was released in 2015 and then rereleased in 2017. Zach Gilligan has a small town detective? Clint Howard as a complete throw away character? And we have a Bigfoot kid who gets shot by a hunter hunting out of season in Nelsonville and I believe the hunter was the only one that dies by the bad looking bootleg version of something from “Land of the Lost” or an old costume from Ringo Starr’s “Caveman”. Oh did I mention Bigfoot kidnaps a kid? I wish I could say this film was played for laughs but this complete mess wasn’t so stay away because I cannot give this more than 0 stars.

Deathrow Gameshow (DVD) – This is one of those movies that literally if you are over 40 you remember finding this weird over the top horror/comedy gem on Skinamax at 3am? Anyhow a nice special edition has been released in recent years finally as gain resurgence in viewing. The film is based around the most hated TV host ‘Chuck’ who hosts “Live or Die” where prison inmates have a chance to play a game and if they win they go free but usually they don’t. But the bright side is they can win cash and prizes for their families before they check out of life. On a daily basis Chuck is threaten until one day he its different a hitman comes looking for him after an incident concerning a mob boss on the Gameshow. Hijinks follows, the hitman’s mother gets blown up on the show and now Chuck wants out because he has found love. Honestly there is no true way to describe this gem from the video days than other it entertain the shit out of us when we found it late that night after the latest entry in the “Emmanuelle” series as I give it 3 stars.

McBain (Blu-ray) – For me at least this was a lost film from James Glickenhaus who did one of my favorite gritty flicks “The Exterminator”! I literally never heard of this or knew it existed but apparently Glickenhaus made another Vietnam vet getting revenge flick in 1991 that had an all-star cast that included Christopher Walken and Maria Conchita Alonso as the headliners. This bad ass film begins in South Vietnam 1973, the war is over and Santos and his army buddies are on their way home. They spot possible camp for POWs and decide they will regret it if they don’t do something. After an intense invasion they meet McBain who was a prisoner which sets the tone for the rest of the flick. 18 years later in Columbia Santos trying to help the people of Columbia to overtake a ruthless drug lord/dictator who has ruined the people and the country’s reputation but fails as he is shot on live TV. Santos sister seeks the help of McBain who gets the band back together so these army buddies can fly in, invade, and help the people of Columbia. It has a little of everything in this film including emotion which you don’t always see in these types of action films from the early 90s. The film looks crisp and clean as usual from Synapse, has a new surround sound track for the film, original trailer, and a great commentary from Glickenhaus himself and film historian Chris Poggali. A wonderful action film surprise for me and I am sure some others out there that will want to purchase this at www.synapse-films.com as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. But I was left with one question about the film: I felt like the Christopher Walken part was written for Robert Ginty? But hey that might just be me being a nerd for “The Exterminator”.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!