Tag Archives: synapse Films

Gross Movie Reviews #664

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Werewolves (On Demand) – Frank Grillo as Wesley, Katrina Law, and Lou Diamond Phillips are scientists who are working on a cure for humans as a year ago during a super moon anyone exposed to it turned into a werewolf causing chaos. After his brother’s death last year as he was part of the first responders dying trying to control the population the year before, Wesley has taken up taking care of his brother’s family. The experiment to control the wolfing out problem with their “moon screen” starts out promising but after 60 minutes people begin to change as the werewolves are hard to control. With the experiment gone to shit in the lab Wesley must return home to help his dead brother’s family as he gets a distress call. The film is solid but has its flaws (not quite understanding the throw away characters) but think it is a 80s B-movie post-apocalyptic plot meets ‘The Purge’ with werewolves. Sounds interesting, Frank Grillo is great, some cool werewolf shit, but also I feel like this movie is a much bigger mess than we all know as I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

Mouse of Horrors (Tubi) – Indeed there is another terrible film loosely based on that Disney mouse character. By the way be warned I have already seen another film slated to be released soon? Anyway a killer mouse mutation stalks its victims at an amusement park to use their body parts for something even more sinister. The killer mouse takes the body parts back to an old crusty dude who supposedly has plans! By the way Winnie the Pooh shows up to pal around a bit for no reason as this movie from the UK just drags ass as the plot seems to be to set up the next kill for the killer mouse. Which isn’t that god damn interesting kids? All in all this entire movie felt like a fan-made feature with no real direction as I give it a fat zero stars.

Rats: Night of Terror (4K Ultra HD) – For the love of Rutger Hauer horror fans if there was ever a movie that deserved me saying, “You can only shine up a turd so much” it is this project as I cannot believe my eyes what Severin Films did with this package! Now don’t get me wrong I absolutely love this cheesy turd of a post-apocalyptic greatness as the quote on the slipcover has proved me correct: “A movie you can tell people about and they’ll say, ‘That’s not a real movie’ but it is. It totally is.” (From Drive-in Asylum) I have talked about this movie for years after I first seen a bootleg in the late 90s that led me buying that early DVD release in the 2000s as that was something that was said to me constantly. Anyway, for those who never had the pleasure the story takes place in 225 A.B. (After the Bomb) where people have lived underground for so long and now a group of unruly individuals want to live above ground where they find an abandoned city. The group enters a building where it looks like humans were sustaining themselves but left suddenly. The group investigates quickly and believes they are saved by this wonderful find. But it doesn’t take long for them to find horribly disfigured bodies and killer rats that seem to have the taste for fresh humans. Within one night the rats attack like a zombie horde forcing the group to survive the oncoming slaughter. It fun, its gory, its Eye-talian of course I love it but this 4K restoration is just beautiful because I never thought in a million years this gritty old looking film could ever be cleaned up? But that is only the tip of the iceberg here horror fans as this 3-disc set has commentaries, a wonderful documentary with the cast talking about Bruno Mattei, several other interesting interviews with cast members talking about their experience on the film, the film’s soundtrack among so much more fun stuff for post-apocalyptic nerds as myself. This package gets 4 stars as I never thought I would be saying “I needed Rats: Night of Terror on 4K”.

Texas Chainsaw Mascara (Blu-ray) – Just another film project from the legendary or infamous Indy filmmaker Bill Zebub. A few out of state horror enthusiasts have traveled to the great state of Texas for some sightseeing. Car breaks down; they argue among them until a lovely local named Heather comes along to offer help. She leads them to her home of the weird to meet her family where quickly the opposing groups don’t get along. After a few words the family gets pissed then proceeds to tie the outsiders up for torture, maybe some bad sex choices and eventually cannibalism of course. By some chance you have never watched a Bill Zebub film his projects are not something you will be comfortable watching as I believe that is always his end goal? Now saying that and have reviewed some of his work in the past I have to say this project just lacks from beginning to end as the cast looked disinterested in their roles as I can only give this film 1 out of 4 stars.

Slaughter Day (Blu-ray) – This is a wonderful Indy SOV gem that got unearthed recently from 1991and was given the special treatment. A couple of young dudes head to a cabin on a Saturday that they are in the process of fixing up only to be met by a violent young man. This is where the film just goes and never stops as you can easily see this was inspired by the ‘Evil Dead’ films with fight scenes, chase scenes (including a homemade car stunt), over the top gags, gore, fun time all around. In the end the duo must faceoff with the Necronomicon at the construction site to end the gory evil chaos. SOV fans are going to enjoy this delightful treat as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars as maybe its only flaw is the music to the film?

The Downfall of Mr. Difford (DVD) – A 2015 feature written, directed, and stars Matt Jefferson along with a great Indy cast. Thomas Difford or as he likes to be called Mr. Difford, is accused of being a murderer that has been dragged into the police station to be questioned by detectives. But Mr. Difford has the detectives where he wants them as he wants to tell them his stories or conquests of his experiments of seeing blood flow. Mr. Difford doesn’t claim to be insane just misunderstood as Difford has work to do in collecting samples for his work. His stories drive the detectives to the verge of committing a criminal act as if it was part of Mr. Difford’s all along?  Enjoyed the no budget serial killer feel of storytelling but the ending wasn’t what I was exactly thirsting for as if Mr. Jefferson was unsure in how to end his 2015 feature. Indy folks start tracking this delicious gem down as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Wolfman (On Demand) – Universal Studios heads back to reimaging their classics as my fear was they would just tell another origin story of “The Wolf Man” and I was happily wrong to say. The backstory of the film is set in rural mountains of Oregon, 1995, where a hiker has disappeared in the woods. The few people that live there believe he maybe “the face of the wolf” that has been an urban legend in those parts. Blake remembering this as a kid remembers his father being very fierce about this being real. Now thirty years later Blake and his family are heading back to the old farm to collect his father’s things as Blake’s father has been declared dead. After an accident has the moving truck stuck in a tree Blake is attacked by a creature while getting his family to safety. The family makes it the old farm house hoping to stay put for the night so at daybreak they can find help but this unknown creature stalks the farm house looking for a way in. Meanwhile, inside Blake begins to slowly transform into something animal-like scaring his family as they may have to fight Blake and the animal thing outside to escape. I liked the movie but didn’t love it but the one thing I wanted them to do they did as they gave me a different story to digest than the usual remake garbage. I enjoyed this for more of its non-traditional take on famous character as the film directs most of its attention on family not the creature oddly enough for that I give it a respectful 3 stars.    

Trick or Treat (4K Ultra HD) – This special treatment of such a cultish 80s horror film has been something horror movie fans have waited a long time for. Red Shirt Pictures and Synapse Films teamed up to bring their masterpiece of an extras filled special edition version of Trick or Treat movie to 4K.  It is all wonderful but before we get into that lets go over the film itself for some horror fans that haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying. The plot involves a teenager played by Marc Price named Eddie who is an outcast at high school for being a metalhead. If not fighting with the school bully and his friends isn’t enough his favorite metal singer Sammi Curr has just died in a fire that just angers Eddie to no end. In pops a DJ played by none other Gene Simmons, who gives Eddie a record of Sammi Curr’s which has never been heard. Eddie takes it home and of course plays it backwards as Sammi begins to talk to Eddie. Sammi Curr has found a way to come back to life thanks to Eddie to get back at Eddie’s bullies. But has it gone too far and can Eddie stop the undead rocker from killing everyone in town? Great music, great story, and yes an appearance by Ozzy Osborne as an evangelist on TV against metal music doesn’t hurt either made this one those “perfect horror movies” for the time it was released. Now this 4K release has everything fans could imagine that includes: three commentaries, an absolutely informative 81 minute documentary about the making of the film that includes an interview with Gene Simmons and how Hollywood came to Wilmington, North Carolina, (Michael Felsher’s thoughts as a 13 year old when this film was released were spot on) all the old trailers, an episode of Hallowed Horror Grounds of visiting the set locations, After Midnight music video starring Tony Fields as Sammi Curr, and a segment called ‘Tribute to Tony Fields’ which may bring a tear to your eye as they interview Tony’s family after all these years and discuss his death. Also what really pops about this transfer is the restoration of the film is just perfect: not too bright, but colorful if that makes sense. Folks, Synapse and Michael Felsher have done a superb job of finally bringing this piece of entertaining horror history to physical media as I give it 4 out of 4 stars all the way. The 4k version is up for sale at www.synapsefilms.com .

Night Wolf (YouTube) – This 2010 UK film had its title changed from ‘13 hrs.’ to ‘Night Wolf’ most likely to be an easier sell to horror movie fans? But anyway Sarah was working in the U.S. for several months but has come back home to her small village to hang with family and friends for a small vacation. The group once together heads inside their old house only to find a bloody surprise of their father torn to shreds in bed and an animal that will stop at nothing to slaughter the group. The group finds a hiding spot in the attic and behind the walls of the old house so they can try to survive the animal’s terror during the stormy night. The subplot of the film is all about family and there is an excellent scene involving a character and a self-inflicted shotgun blast! A solid creature feature that I give 2 ½ stars too.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #642

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They Call Me Bruce? (DVD) – A 1982 comedy that would be seen as a politically incorrect film these days more than the comedy it was playing as on the early cable channels in the early 80s. An Asian man who keeps being mistaken for Bruce Lee wants to make his way to New York? As much as the young man would love to be like his hero Bruce Lee the man knows nothing of the martial arts. The man Bruce after a hilarious series of scenarios finds himself working for the mob but making his way to New York. The delivery boy as he is known as for the mob keeps finding himself in a series of ridiculous events as he makes his way to New York and mind you the FBI is also involved. The movie has many laughs of a time that is now forgotten as there is no way this film would be made today as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Cicada! (DVD) – This low budget flick keeps it a simple “creature feature” as a once legendary baseball player now disgraced and retired finds himself fighting giant cicadas! The former ball player hooks up with a small group of people who run around town killing the mutant cicadas. The film is silly, dumb, but holy hell it was entertaining enough for me as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Crocodylus: Mating Season (On Demand) – For those who may not remember the terrible first feature? It has produced a sequel that goes away from being serious in Peaceful Creek, Florida where the creature still lives! This recent urban legend is back and snacking on boaters and swimmers again but there is more to it this time. A young lady Allie Glades hires a P.I. Harry Bates to seek out her brother Mark who had disappeared. He was very sick and started an experimental drug to help cure him then that is when he disappeared. As Allie and Bates investigate they soon find themselves in something much bigger in this spoof? The experiment was meant to cure cancer is more of just turning a human into a monster that feeds on fish then humans. There are hilarious jokes throughout like Harry Bates ex-wife became a professional Hide and Seek player who he could never find… For that I give this film 2 ½ stars for throwing something different out there than the usual follow up.

Mausoleum (Blu-ray) – This 1983 film is just a complete wild ride that I know I have seen once before and have completely forgotten and not totally sure why? Anyhow a young girl loses her mother at the age of ten and must go live with her aunt. Instead she goes crying through a graveyard until she comes upon a mausoleum called ‘Nomed’ where she becomes possessed but doesn’t remember it. Twenty years pass and Suzie gets the sudden urge to get naked anytime men are around, have sex with them, and make their heads explode! If that wasn’t enough hilarious weirdness… look for the odd gardener who plays with his belly button constantly. Susan’s husband Oliver suspects something and gets Susan’s doctor involved only to learn the doctor may have knew Susan had been possessed for years. While this goes on Susan’s powers grow and there is some weird thing that may help separate her from the demon if they can put a crown of thorns on her? There is just a fuck ton of weirdness here that I am glad I rewatched and will again sometime soon as I give it 3 stars.

Paganini Horror (DVD) – It is Italian, Luigi Cozzi made it, and Donald Pleasence plays the devil? Yes kids I am in! I feel you don’t need to know anything else but I will review it anyway as apparently some musical dude sold his soul to the devil 200 years ago and his unproduced song has gotten into a singer’s hands to make a huge video called “Paganini Horror”. Kate and her manager set up the video to begin filming only to accidentally conjure the spirit of Paganini… I think? The movie doesn’t make a ton of sense but it’s bloody and Italian so yinz will love it as I give it 3 stars.

Curtains for Christmas (Blu-ray) – Great, just what we need another holiday film of goodness! But this isn’t just your usual Hallmark happy holiday festive bullcrap as director/co-writer Steve Rudzinski and co-writer Aileen Isley craft a tale of holiday terror about a young woman Holly who just wants Christmas to be perfect like her favorite holiday film. The film goes for the holiday throat in no time as Holly kills her boyfriend of eight months because he refuses to spend the holiday with her and won’t introduce Holly to his parents. (Absolutely love Holly chowing on the block of cheese depressingly watching her favorite holiday film). The murder is only the beginning as Holly now has conversations with an imaginary holiday rodent who is giving her advice as she believes there is still time for her to have the perfect Christmas like her favorite film. So why not go kill your way to having the perfect holiday where you fall in love, have a family, and it’s the greatest Christmas tale ever told. That is when she meets Jay and she puts her killing spree I mean plan into action. Everything from the gingerbread house contest to the fake kidnapped family for Holly makes this beyond entertaining and ends in a huge bloody mess of course. So grab the milk and cookies, and possibly a sharp knife to stab I mean to have with your loved one while watching this sick holiday treat as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Demons (4K Ultra HD) – By now in your life if you are a horror movie fan, especially one that grew up in the 80s you know of this classic film. The project from Lamberto Bava and Dario Argento has people invited to a secret screening of a film that seems to be a great idea to check out until… all hell breaks loose. Just like the film they are watching a mask scratches a character and they begin to change. Same thing happens to a patron before the screening and once the movie plays all the movie goers are trapped in hell by these crazed blood thirsty demons! Chaos, gore, and non-stop drooling demons seeking out any living being make this film a horror fan’s dream. This new transfer just pops off screen and will make horror movie fans really think “Now is a good time to pick up that 4K player.” This collection has a card inside that is the movie ticket for the theater explaining the transfer but also the disc has three different versions of the film, a couple commentaries with Bava and cast, a segment on Dario Argento producing the film, archival special features that is everything and anything ‘Demons’ related from different versions released over the years, along with different audio tracks for the commentaries. So there are few 4K films that impress me but this  just jump off the TV at you from frame one and has more than enough ‘Demons’ related stuff to keep you busy for the next day in a half as I give this absolute beauty 4 out of 4 stars as it is available at www.synapsefilms.com .

Demons 2 (4K Ultra HD) – It worked the first time so why not in a high rise building? Again if you are a hardcore horror movie fan you know all about the sequel just trying to up the violence and drooling demons running through the hallways of an apartment building slicing and dicing any human! And again just like the first film in 4K the sequel just jumps off the screen with its bright colors. Can’t complain the amount of gore, goo, and demons they throw this time around especially with its crazy ass ending. The disc has two different versions of the sequel, a commentary from Travis Crawford, a very interesting segment with author and critic Alexandra Heller-Nicholas discussing both ‘Demons & Demons 2’, more fun archival special features for the horror nerds, along with a couple trailers, and a couple Italian audio tracks and subtitles. Having both of these titles on 4K reminds when the ‘Alien: Quadrilogy’ set was released. So much cool shit to comb through that you just hope to get the flu and stay home from work for three days so you could get through everything ‘Demons’ as like the first film I gotta give this 4 out of 4 stars and it is available at www.synapsefilms.com .

Cold Blows the Wind (On Demand) – A dark thriller stars the talented Jamie Bernadette while Dean and Tasha is a couple who were celebrating Tasha’s birthday where they just happen to run over a man on their way to an isolated family cottage. As the couple fight over exactly what they should do which it becomes apparent not to call authorities the victim tries to escape. Dean stabs the man dead or at least he believes and their fate is sealed as they agree to bury the body and clean up their mess. But the night is about to get weird as they hear a knock at the door from a young frighten woman who knows too much? Briar has come to make a deal as the night continues to get more bizarre with her appearance and the couple questioning their own relationship. The film is a fun strange evil twist of fate that will make you think about the plot quite often after viewing the film. My only complaint of the film is if ‘Don’t Kill It’ doesn’t exist I believe I would have enjoyed the ending more? Or never quite explaining the reasoning of what was happening to the couple I may have like this thriller a little more. Overall the movie has enough scary tension that should satisfy the horror fan looking for a little more evil plot than just blood and guts as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #633

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When the Trash Man Knocks (DVD/Tubi) – Caroline is a woman haunted by a tragic event many years ago that has caused her the fear of leaving the house. But what scared her two decades ago, “The Trash Man”, has returned. Instead of being your usual rando slasher genre fare (which isn’t a bad thing?) this film goes about fleshing out a more psychological story about how the Trash Man was able to scar a town. This legendary killer has haunted Caroline and her son for so many years that they also have become part of the legend. There is some wonderful kills and bodies pile up quickly once it gets going. I try to not go into too much detail as it can give this fun new breed of slasher film away and want it to be fun for first time viewers as I can honestly say this will be on my “Best of 2024 list” at the end of the year as I give it 4 stars.

Cocaine Crabs from Outer Space (DVD) – Two space crabs have been sent to Earth on a mission but that is thrown out of whack when a rough landing breaks the translator for the crabs to communicate. Soon after the crabs are found by frat boys and given cocaine so of course the crabs completely lose their minds and kill the frat boys! With Detective Reese on the case he believes immediately its crabs that killed the young frat boys but no one will believe him. While during the investigation the crabs soon understand the more cocaine the more they can breed and kill humans! A hilarious throwback B-movie made on not much budget that definitely entertains if you enjoy the humor of this type of horror movie as I give it 3 stars.

Shaky Shivers (DVD) – The film is set perfectly in 1993 somewhere in the state of Washington where two young women have set out to wait for a full moon and once it happens the hilarity doesn’t stop with what these two get themselves into. But when the real story begins the day before when the two are working their ice cream parlor jobs as they discuss their futures only to be interrupted by a woman from the woods. This happens at closing time when Lucy and Karen just want to be done for the night but the strange woman curses Lucy as now she has to deal with becoming a werewolf. The two best friends try to figure out what they can do before tomorrow evening which brings us to their present time the next evening and things go from bad to worse when they read from “The Book of Spells”! Great effects, great story, I absolutely laughed my ass off at these two characters as this will be a horror film for people to talk about for years to come as I give it 4 stars and will most likely be on my “Best of 2024 list” at the end of the year.

Men in Suits (YouTube) – This is a fascinating look at people in the monster suits we all grew up with that were in some of the most famous monster suits ever made for Hollywood films. Learned about this documentary while reading a book on ‘Creature from the Black Lagoon’ about a young lady who was the driving force behind this historical creature and all the work she did. You can find the book on Amazon and it’s called “The Lady from the Black Lagoon”. Real cool shit that proved some things I heard throughout the years. But anyway this documentary takes an inside look of who and why they do what they do. If you are all about practical effects, you are going to want to search this one out as I give it 4 stars.

Amityville Bloodbath (DVD) – Welcome to those of you that don’t understand my obsession with these films but this is entry #58. I am a complete lunatic when it comes to Amityville or massacre films? (Way too long of a conversation to be honest so just go with it) Anyhow I would love to just talk shit on this entry but we all know there are so many bad ones so instead of that let’s take this with a grain of salt as a teenager Blazie Tudor threw their hat into an already crowded ring of entries. This no budget 32 minute flick stars Joel Wynkoop, Phil Herman, and John Ward where it involves two teenagers. Now it may have been a good thing the teenagers were filmed with sunglasses on as at any point they were going to laugh their asses off at being filmed? But these two go for a ride and for a picnic (that is a whole other conversation) to talk about Amityville, which thus in turn sets up the two friends being killed by a masked assailant in the spirit of Amityville?! Now, I can see some would take this as “garbage” where I took as a teenager filmmaker stumbled upon a plot line that wasn’t fully seen through? Making the Amityville town not the house as a presence that will kill any chance it gets until the town is empty of souls? Yes folks I went that f’n deep… but anyway we all know and its well documented that I have watched much worse so give this one a chance because I have a feeling we all are going to enjoy this Blazie Tudor is making movies ten years from now as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.   

The Time Travelers (DVD) – A flick about three scientists in 1964 (before I was born and most of yinz) working on a future and past time experiment that accidentally freezes up for the scientists and they have accidentally opened a portal a 107 years into the future! Now trapped in this post-apocalyptic future and being chased by mutants they do stumble upon that last living humans that hide in a cave. These last humans are relatives of scientists from years ago who were driven underground from the nuclear war and destruction. These last humans are on a deadline to leave the planet as the mutants creep in closer to destroying everything before the scientists arrive. Once the scientists understand they didn’t change the past since they are trapped they must agree to help go forward only to see there is no end as reality must go on. I fun concept as you can see many films and TV series stole from this idea as I give it 3 stars.

Body Count (DVD/YouTube) – So this latest venture into Indy cinema stars Jennifer Nangle! But it doesn’t just star Ms. Nangle she goes all John Saxon “Zombie Deathhouse” on us and stars, directs, writes, editor, produces, etc. Everything except for the music which I may say will go unnoticed but might be Rocky Gray’s best work? Anyway Jennifer and others put together an anthology of where Queen of Screams Malvolia is trying to kill randos in the wraparound with her band of misfits as there are stories to be told that flesh out this entertaining anthology! First story has an actress who has made one too many mistakes in her career and trying to get back on track or has she? As she is just trying to put pieces together that would allow her to gain her revenge… Second story is about an all-girls weekend that takes a turn to the sadistic because someone still holds a grudge from 15 years ago for a prank! Third story is about a trio of friends who set out to kill vampires. Fourth story is about old friends getting together and something goes horribly wrong as what was planned is turned upside down. Fifth story is about a woman who kills to get what she wants but runs into someone far more sinister because she hasn’t stuck with the code of witches. Before you flutter your eyes at another Indy anthology take note this was impressive as I mentioned Ms. Nangle decided to make this happen in all aspects of filmmaking which is impressive. And yes we all know unless it is “Creepshow” I am already gonna dislike the anthology but remember I also made one recently… What is funny about this one is Jennifer showed off more of her talent that most may give her credit for? Yeah the anthology isn’t perfect (it isn’t Creepshow) but she put together a 100 minute project that isn’t boring, doesn’t drag, or rely on nudity to get across what she wanted on screen and for that kudos as I give 3 out of 4 stars for this entertaining piece of art.

Graphic Sexual Horror (Blu-ray) – An interesting documentary that has just been picked up by Synapse Films about a former college professor who started a notorious website in the late 90s called insex.com. Synapse Films brings this uncut project from the filmmakers Barbara Bell and Anna Lorentzon that does a deep dive into the life and career of Brent Scott. He came up with a bondage/fetish site that eventually got shut down by the Homeland of Security. The documentarian filmmakers take a look into a genre that isn’t just ordinary porn but a subject that makes most of us uncomfortable even speaking about it? This film explains what Brent was trying to do in so many words for people who were into something much different than your ordinary sex that became termed as “violent sex” by some or as I describe as a shock, a fetish, or a turn-on like no other. The Blu-ray goes above and beyond than the censored 2009 version that is uploaded on YouTube with interesting interviews with the models and an interview with co-director Barbara Bell. Best way to explain this is quoting Brent “It was an experiment at first to see what I could do?” This is might not be my “cup of tea” but I felt the documentary was done in a very tasteful way for all viewers who had any interest to be inform of the history of this being on the internet as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and can be purchased through www.synapsefilms.com .   

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Blood Feast 4K remake review

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Blood Feast (4K/remake) – I had no expectations going into this film because just like a lot of horror movie fans I felt this had been done already… ‘Blood Diner’ anyone?! Hell even ‘Blood Feast 2’ made a decade or two ago? But of course that didn’t stop anyone as an American family the Ramses headed to Paris six months ago to start up an American restaurant/diner thing. Owner Fuad Ramses and his diner are having tough times so he has been working a second job as night security dude at a museum. One morning Fuad has lost his pills which are critical to his health (according to Caroline Williams, the wife) and that night he witnesses Ishtar. Ishtar fascinates Fuad so much he goes to the library to do research on the goddess. Thus his research makes Fuad believe he has found the answer to his failings in Paris and it all starts with preparation for a giant feast that upcoming Saturday night with his family. Not only is he feeding on those he is killing but his family will also feast all in the name of Ishtar! There is no doubt the film went out of its way to be gory as hell. The cast and structure was great as Robert Rusler stole the flick with his performance that felt like he should have been in the 1963 original film as Fuad. Also it was great seeing an appearance of H.G. Lewis doing a YouTube thing giving backstory to Ishtar, a very tasteful gesture of a cameo. But my original stance on the film is still 2 out of 4 stars. Let me explain: If there was no original H.G. Lewis I think myself and other horror fans would have celebrated this release as soon as it was announced because this remake is solid and wonderful. But the biggest problem for any filmmaker is you are tackling something “historical” not only in minds of horror movie fans but just fans of “cinema”. So at least for me as I watch this version (as good as Robert Rusler was) I cannot get that original out of my mind let alone the over the top greatness called “Blood Diner” from the 80s. Hell, there is still a large portion of horror fans still learning of the legend of H.G. Lewis? This film I believe falls under the category “of it will be appreciated by horror fans in a decade or so after its release…” Also with this 4K version is the uncut version of the film, a ‘making of’ featurette, music video, red carpet premiere in 2018, promo teaser, and Scare cam. The full package itself I give 3 out of 4 stars and can be found through www.synapsefilms.com .

Infinite Santa 8000 hits Blu-ray in time for the holidays!

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Infinite Santa 8000 (Blu-ray) – One of my favorite Indy releases over the years is an animated feature from two brilliant minded people Michael Neel and Greg Ansin. Funny thing is it has been about ten years since I first reviewed this masterpiece of cinema coming to DVD. Now finally getting the special edition treatment through a great company Synapse Films more people will get to witness the glorious movie that I have talked about for years. This is a mind-blowing post-apocalyptic animation set thousands of years into the future where Santa still thrives or now just survives looking for people who still have the Christmas spirit. We begin with a narration to catch up the viewer “of how we got here” as Cyborg Santa is about to ‘Thunderdome’ with another in order to win sacks of meat as food is scarce in this world. Yes folks, our future are super violent, robots have taken over earth, and Santa must fight to survive but he still lives in the North Pole! What keeps the jolly bastard going these days is a robot girl named Martha who when not training loves to hang out with Santa in his workshop and hear stories of Christmas past. But after a mysterious visitor one evening Martha is kidnapped from Santa’s Ranch and we are off to the races with complete chaos as Santa and his robotic reindeer jump into action to chase down an evil rabbit! Martha’s and our holiday hero discover this is only the beginning as a thing from the past Dr. Shockleton and her mutant army are on course to not only to rid the world of the Santa menace but to reshape the world into her own. For movie nerds out there let me break this down: imagine elements of the film Wizards, Adult Swim programming, scenes from the original Terminator and Mad Max films, and a character that is a straight up an old school Bond villain, and a soundtrack that feels like lost audio tracks from early Slayer mashed together into this beautiful piece of animation that in the end is all about the Christmas spirit! And what is even better is this is the director’s cut with extended and new scenes added including a little look into who Dr. Shockleton is after credits?! To me what makes this even more special is the short interviews with the voices of the cast so you get to see and hear who these talented people are, the original 13 part web series of this project, audio commentary from the dynamic duo themselves Michael Neel and Greg Ansin, music videos, plus more than anything this feature being on Blu-ray I believe makes everything in this feature pop and look even better than it ever did when watching it ten years ago on YouTube and such. This brilliant piece of holiday cinema will make a great addition to horror fans’ collections but also yearly holiday movie watching for years to come as my opinion has never changed giving it 4 out of 4 stars and now officially can be found at www.synapsefilms.com .      

Tombs of the Blind Dead Blu-ray review

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Tombs of the Blind Dead (Blu-ray) – It was time to revisit these slow moving blood thirsty Templars as most people know I am not a huge fan but every once in a while I like to go back and see if I feel the same way about a movie? Well it just so happened Synapse Films has just released a new two disc Blu-ray edition for fans of this Spanish horror film. It is well documented some horror fans consider this not just a classic but one of those “Top Ten” outside of the U.S. films you need to watch! Anyhow for those of you who may have not had the chance to witness the Spanish carnage it begins with a young lady jumping off a train and finding some very old buildings in the middle of nowhere? Hunkering down for the night she soon finds herself dying at the hands of ancient blind Templars who do not take too kindly to trespassers as the locals avoid this place like the plague. Her friends seek help of a professor and this leads them down a path of destruction as well as we learn these Templars started their own religion that had them sacrificing virgins and for this action the Templars were tortured to death. Good soundtrack, some gore, and a weird rape scene that awakens the dead Templars again for 1971 Spanish horror film I respect why there is certain horror movie fans that live and die with this film. For me it never quite hit me right as a horror fan (as I give it 2 ½ stars just my opinion and I do like it a little more than I originally did). But let’s talk about the goodies packed into this Blu-ray for yinz “Blind Dead” fans: Original Spanish language with English/Spanish soundtrack versions, U.S. theatrical version which is several minutes shorter and definitely has a different vibe to it, of course it is as cleaned up as its gonna get as Synapse have become experts bringing old films back to life, a few different commentaries, Salem’s Pop music video called “Templar’s Tears”, several interviews, but I think the gem in all of these goodies was something I never knew is the alternate U.S. opening scene “Revenge of Planet Ape” (so weird?), documentary, and a cool segment “Awakening of Spanish Horror” or a little history lesson we shall say. This Blu-ray package is a Blind Dead’s fan wet dream come true as I gotta give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and you can pick it up at www.synapsefilms.com . P.S. there is a limited edition 3-disc version that includes slipcase (for that crowd), a tribute audio CD, and liner notes booklet.

Gross Movie Reviews checks out the new 4K version of Synapse Films “Tenebrae”!

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Tenebrae (4K Ultra HD/Blu-ray) – I have reviewed this movie before a couple times so yinz already know what I have to say and most critics for that matter… It’s a film about an author named Peter Neal who is promoting his newest book in Italy. Meanwhile at the same time of Peter’s appearance a serial killer is making their mark by killing their victims in the same manner of Neal’s latest book? Neal’s booking agent (John Saxon) tries to keep Neal busy but as the letters after each murder show up to the police with no clues Neal decides he should investigate himself. By some chance you been living under a rock as a horror fan and haven’t been introduced to this project ‘Tenebrae’ it’s an Argento title that isn’t talked about as much as a ‘Suspiria’ or maybe a ‘Deep Red’ but is well worth investing your demented mind into as it mixes a couple horror elements into its formula. For my two cents you may hear horror fans talk more about the music score than the fun movie itself? Synapse Films and Argento are a perfect match for the Blu-ray/4K format as I feel Synapse takes great care and respect with not just the ridiculous restoration of the pictures but it feels they even found a way to squeeze in a few more extras in besides: the original Blu-ray that had dual English and Italian tracks, commentary by Maitland McDonagh, trailers from different countries, original U.S. end credits, alternate opening credits, and the interesting documentary ‘Yellow Fever: The Rise and Fall of Gallo’. There are a few archival interviews, couple more added commentaries, plus not just the 4K disc version but a Blu-ray with everything that makes me wanna give this complete release 3 ½ out of 4 stars. This is for sure one of those things Argento fans will want no matter what to complete their collection but for some newer horror fans that are just jumping head first into Italian horror this is a great entertaining introduction package into the world of Argento and physical media collecting, for more info or to order go to: www.synapse-films.com .

Gross Movie Reviews #615

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Past Midnight (DVD/YouTube) – A USA Network movie from 1991 that starred Rutger Hauer, Clancy Brown, and Natasha Richardson in a murder mystery film that was actually supposed to be a theater release. Also another tidbit of info for people who go online and read the “reviews” where people claimed “this isn’t the typical Rutger Hauer film” are dead wrong because that dude seeked this shit out. Anyway Rutger Hauer is Ben who just got paroled after serving 15 years for the death of his wife and unborn child. Ben has to report to his social worker played by Natasha Richardson (Laura) who is immediately intrigued by Ben’s high IQ but also how Ben claims his innocence? Clancy Brown of course plays the best friend/past lover who still cares for her and warns “this is a dangerous path with a serial killer”. As Ben sees the chemistry immediately between the two he strings Laura around as she digs into his past to truly see if Ben is innocent? There is a lot of buildup and the movie goes about ten minutes too long but it is Rutger Hauer and he always keeps it interesting especially when there is a little twist involved in this murder mystery that I give 3 stars too.

Slipstream (DVD/YouTube) – Mark Hamill plays a bootleg Rutger Hauer future cop in a post-apocalyptic flick that has him chasing Bill Paxton after he steals his prisoner because he wants to cash in on the bounty for this unknown prisoner dude. Paxton is always looking for the big score so he can go do his balloon thing in the mountains. But it isn’t long that Paxton’s character after some interaction with the unknown prisoner dude figures out he is an android that actually killed someone and wants to travel to the end of the earth because of something he believes in. Along the way let’s not forget we got Kitty Aldridge and Ben Kingsley in this mess of a film that has a lot going on. Paxton halfway through his travels of trying to collect the money decides to help protect the android and become friends with him as the droid is learning to be human. There is weird plane chase scenes, people who don’t believe in technology, and rich folk that are trying to protect artifacts of the past as they all converge in this post-apocalyptic film. The movie isn’t bad by any means but if it makes any sense at all it feels like they were shooting for this epic film that has a message and it just wasn’t executed to its fullest? Anyway still worth checking it out just to see Mark Hamill as bootleg Rutger Hauer and a fun Bill Paxton as usual as I give the film 2 stars.

Z-ero (DVD/YouTube) – A very choppy edit of an independent zombie film where zombies seem to be attacking people who are doing everyday things or just attacking them in a strip mall. Premise of the film seems to be a female zombie happens to be an alpha zombie who is able to talk and control other zombies until she has bitten her twin brother, another alpha? Supposedly she was an experiment of the government and he just happens to turn into ‘super zombie’ or Johnny. Johnny quickly becomes an overnight sensation as he saves humans from zombie attacks. Oh did I mention the alpha zombies wouldn’t exist if their father (scientist) wouldn’t have brought home his work and their mum was a whacked out prego meth head? This production clearly had the people to help out with everything but the execution was a whole other story as this movie fails to impress as I give 1 out of 4 stars.

Slash Dance (DVD) – Its 1989 and Tori likes being an undercover cop to catch the bad guys except her big boss Edison is too busy to care as he has higher political aspirations. With that being said the boss man wants her hidden so he allows her to go investigate a theater where women are disappearing as they are fresh off the bus and nobody to care they are missing. Edison doesn’t care what Tori does unless she can get him headlines but when the killings have hit the papers he wants in on the action. It is far from ‘Killer Workout’ or a ‘Death Spa’ but for weird people like that love those rando 80s horror films you gotta watch it at least once as I give it 2 stars.

Stoner Snakes (YouTube) – A 16 minute short film from MMH Productions some puppet and stuffed animal snakes eat some weed and have the munchies which means chopping down on some humans! When they ain’t feeding they crave more weed unless they are having a bad trip where zombies are trying to tear them a part. To be honest I don’t know if this was entertaining or not but hell you got me to watch so kudos to you as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Targets (DVD) – I had heard about this film over the years but never quite tracked it down or found time to watch it until recently. Boris Karloff plays a character or an aging movie star named Byron who is retiring after his last flick “The Terror”, which they use the footage from throughout but bottom line Boris is playing himself with a different name. A young filmmaker Sammy finally gets his shot to direct a picture with Byron but Byron believes “it is a young man’s game” and that is why he won’t even read the script. Meanwhile we are introduced to a young man Bobby who crosses paths with Byron but the great actor doesn’t even know it? Bobby decides one morning after gathering some guns and bullets to kill his wife and mother and leaves a note that there will be more people shot before he is done. Then Bob finds a nice high fuel silo off the highway and begins to shoot innocent bystanders from there. Once authorities arrive he makes his way to the drive-in where Byron is about to make his last appearance and promote his latest film after a night of talking with Sammy. Once Bob climbs the screen the shooting begins again and the man who stops him is none other than Byron. It’s a weird combo of a film of retiring actor who becomes a hero and sniper who goes on a killing spree for unknown reasons (unless I miss that plot point). Boris Karloff is wonderful, the cinematography is excellent, and the slow burn effect of the sniper and who he is gonna kill next is perfect as I give this flick 3 ½ stars.

Black Circle (Blu-ray) – A 2019 film from Adrian Garcia Bogliano that is in Swedish I believe but has English subtitles and stars the great Christina Lindberg as Lena who plays a very important role. This story centers around two sisters Celeste and Isa who listen to an old self-help hypnosis album that is supposedly helping you relax. But from the first listen something very sinister is happening and causes the sisters to seek out the help from Lena Carlsson who recorded the album as a limited edition product that was an experiment. According to Lena an experiment that wasn’t meant for the world as it brings forth your double or doppelganger from the other side. This other you, follow you, and continue to suck life from you to survive in this new world and take over your existence. With the help of Lena they hope she is able to put them back together before the other them takes over? This film is all kinds of interesting, creepy, insane, and an excellent trippy experience into slow burn horror. With this Blu-ray from Synapse Films you get a CD soundtrack that will have fans absolutely delighted, commentary with Adrian Garcia Bogliano, trailer, a short film, behind the scenes of the film, and a great interview of Bogliano and Christina Lindberg. I can definitely see the younger horror crowd losing their shit over how good this movie is as I give the Blu-ray package 3 ½ out of 4 stars and found at www.synapse-films.com .  

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #596

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Terror Squad (VHS/YouTube) – This 1988 forgotten action gem falls into the category of “it’s so bad it is fucking wonderful”. The film opens with a rally of sorts and people saying, “Death to America”, (sounds familiar but it’s the Libyans)… Yes the folks who seem to be the bad guys of the 80s for most action flicks. Anyhow, the terrorist army and I mean four of them cross a small body of water over the Canadian border into small town Indiana. Their evil goals are takeover or destroy a small nuclear power plant in this small town. Well that plan goes south quickly and the other three wait in the car to watch so authorities can start chasing them through this small town for over 35 minutes that includes town sheriff Chuck Connors in a Brooklyn Dodgers jacket in which the car chase turns into a murderous rampage! But back to Chuck Connors for a minute as I am watching this flick and after the car chase is done and the terrorists decide to hold the local high school detention hall as hostages he is wearing this jacket while negotiating for the hostages. Now no one else in frame is wearing a jacket including our favorite “Dawn of the Dead” actor Ken Foree! So what is the point of this? Is there some kind of symbolism that I am missing? Why am I so fascinated by this even though Chuck Connors was like an actual college basketball star which made super focus that much more on him wearing this jacket? I mean for the love of Rutger Hauer he is the fucking sheriff but come on people is this in his contract somewhere? Because here is the thing I have watched a few late-80s films starring Chuck Connors and this fucking jacket appears randomly for no reason… I NEED TO KNOW! So back to the review kids: first half of the movie car chase with terrorists and having dumbest Hollywood police force since “Smokey and the Bandit” and second half of movie Libyans take hostages in a high school detention hall with Chuck Connors blurting out a few times, “We don’t need the FBI!” Yep, got it, good, because this film was entertaining as hell and had me laughing for days so it gets 3 stars folks!

Catch the Heat (DVD/YouTube) – Or by some chance you are watching the Australian version of the film it is called “Feel the Heat”.  It is 1987, an action film with an Asian federal agent undercover named Cinderella Poo kicking ass against the likes of Rod Steiger, Brian Thompson, and Professor Toru Tanaka! (I am pausing a minute for those of you that don’t understand and the others went looking immediately for this film on their phones or nearest streaming sites to start watching NOW!) Okay kids for those of you that are still reading not knowing who those people are thank you for being younger than me and giving a shit by reading the rest of this review. An uncover federal agent named Checkers heads from San Francisco to Buenos Aires to track down the big boss that is sending large shipments of drugs to the US and getting fine women’s breasts butchered… Here she gets close to the big boss man by being a dancer who is looking to move up to Hollywood. One by one she fucks bad guys’ asses up to bring down Hannibal aka Rod Steiger the boss. The fight scenes are entertaining, the dialogue is absolutely hilarious at times, and I dare you to tell me this isn’t a fun action flick as I give it 3 stars.

The Hackers (DVD) – This lesser known SOV flick is about three weirdos and a truck that drive around for odd jobs of fixing up homes, cabins, etc., out in the sticks. While not working they keep bothering a beautiful woman who just happens to be housesitting. First 15 minutes is where all the murders happen and then an hour of torturing this poor lady n’at. Yinz will absolutely hate the ending or semi-like it and feel that the movie makes some kind of sense is the best way to describe where this film goes as its worth at least one watch as I give it 2 stars.

Nightmare at 43 Hillcrest (DVD/YouTube) – Thanks to an overseas friend for pointing out this weirdo TV movie that feels like a more dramatic ‘After School Special’ about drugs and corrupt cops. A well-known police detective and his associate hit a house for a drug bust, problem is they fucked up and hit the wrong house. Instead of being empty handed and a laughing stock they plant drugs and turn this family’s life upside down. This TV movie looks more like a soap opera from the 70s more than anything but it was a well spent 70-some minutes as I give this special 2 stars.

In Search of Darkness: Part III (Shudder) – If your brain didn’t melt the first two times taking in all the beautiful horror that was out there in the universe? Well this documentary ups its game with going over 5 ½ hours! Enjoy 80s horror kids as this will last longer than that boner you keep trying to have with those generic pills that keep saying you have “low-T” at the age of 20? Any doodles yinz have fun with this because it was just as glorious as the others as I give this documentary 4 stars.

Last Man on Earth (Blu-ray) – Being a Vincent Price fan and being a fan of this film I don’t know if I ever put out a propper review of this flick? I mean honestly most horror fans over the age of 12 have seen or have said something about this film… Fan or not (which I am not) of the Will Smith film “I Am Legend” many youngsters seeked out the original. Now there will always be debate which film is the best version or interputation (mine is The Omega Man) of the original source material but that is for a whole other conversation? We are talking this 1964 film about gloom and doom that has possibly the most serious role of Vincent Price’s career? Price is Professor Robert Morgan and it is now 1968: a few years have passed since the plague started, he lost his wife and daughter, and he became the supposedly last survivor of mankind. During the day he tries to do clean up of the corpses in the street, get food, gas, and find the nest of ghouls that come out at night for him. This all stems from a possible airbourne virus that started in Europe that the professor may have immunity? (sounds interesting like now but funny how this film wasn’t brought up when the COVID shit went down) Back to the review, the ghouls, vampires, zombies, whatever you wanna call them are afraid of daylight, can speak, stakes to the chest kill them, garlic keeps them away, might be a vampire germ, and only come out at night. As you see the film plays with the lines or mythology of vampirism and zombies (especially before it was a term on the tips of tongues of every horror movie fan). The good professor believes he is doing something right until he meets a woman in Ruth who is half and half and learns he maybe the real monster? But pay attention to the dialogue about violence and society trying to survive because I think this why horror movie fans hold on to this version more than the others. For years if you are my age you grew up grainy versions of this film but with technology into DVDs the film looks never better but depending streaming, Blu-ray, etc., there is little differences in credits, beginning of the film , even the ending. Nothing crazy but stuff that the nerds will stay up at night knowing you didn’t know? No matter what the film is timeless in the fact of Vincent Price’s role but the subject matter and what it set up for a genre for decades to come so enjoy as I give this 3 ½ stars.

Haunted (DVD) – This 1995 film is about the paranormal but not just your ordinary ghost flick that at the time it was made may have flown under the radar unlike today if it would have been released. It begins in 1905 England where a boy loses his twin sister in an unfortunate accident that causes his mother to take him to the states until many years later. Now 1928, Aidan Quinn the grown up boy is back in England as a Professor and who has written a popular book proving ghosts don’t exist. After being contacted by an older woman several times he heads to a large property to debunk the latest haunting. There he meets a young and stunning woman in Kate Beckinsale who her and her two brothers have come back to Nanny to live since their parents have died in a monsoon. Shortly after the good professor believes Miss Webb is disturbed but soon finds his reality unraveling. The film goes in weird areas that include incest, who is alive, and how far is Christina willing to go to keep the professor there to stay? The film might be much more story driven than most ghost stories these days but stick with it as this is an interesting paranormal film that has quite an ending I think you may like as I give the film 3 stars.

The Banana Splits Movie (Blu-ray) – An absolute fun film about a kids television show from the late 60s and 70s that wasn’t perfect but now that I got the blu-ray it was time to revisit this fun creation. The April Fool’s joke that never went away and most likely never get a sequel was something off the wall and different than what horror fans are fed on a regular basis. Remember the show must go on but weird thing the Blu-ray doesn’t have a commentary but a cuple other extras worth oogling. If yinz are still into physical media like myself this is worth grabbing at the right price as I still give it 3 stars but also something tells me this will disappear if there is another upgrade in DVD/Blu-ray tech just some genre titles have in the past?

Phenomena (4K Ultra HD Set) – Just when I thought I seen it all Synapse has upgraded one of Argento’s weirdest flicks to the latest tech where the sound is somehow that much better and the colors are ridiculous. Now this one is a weird but understandable choice as American audiences just eat up anything Argento. This new set works on two fronts… if by some chance you never picked up the original US Blu-ray that first featured all three versions of the film well here is your chance to finally upgrade. Second front is, there is a different documentary on this new 4K version that wasn’t on the original Blu-ray set from a couple years ago. But outside of the new slipcase there isn’t much difference exception for the nerd that is in you. Yeah this weirdo Argento flick literally jumps off the screen but this new version really is about color and sound and if you got all the new tech in HDTV and 4K player stuff. Don’t get my wrong I enjoy Donald Pleasance and Jennifer Connelly but this set is literally made for the movie nerds in the US that may have not gotten that chance to get those selected huge box sets that were released overseas. I still give the flick 3 stars and 4 out of 4 to Synapse Films for putting this package together but this will be more for those who haven’t upgraded yet more than anything. But again Synapse is smart… Argento in 4K… I can hear the movie being shipped to many as we speak. For details on the new package check out www.synapse-films.com .

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #588

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Dracula 1979 (Blu-ray) – Another retelling of the famous old blood sucker this time around starring Frank Langella the vampire from Universal Studios. Donald Pleasence among other great actors surrounds this adventure in vampire lure. Not my favorite version of Dracula but this film has great a great cast, bat attacks, a fun Dracula death scene, and great set design. Clearly Universal waited too late to compete with Hammer but put their best foot forward except with the part of Dracula. Frank is kind of an odd pick and it shows but don’t let that discourage you from seeking out the newer cleaned up versions of this 1979 flick because enjoy it for what it is. Looking back Frank should have been maybe their tenth pick as Dracula not first or second as everything else they did a great job with as I thought it was time to rewatch this flick and give it 3 stars.

Mr. No Legs (DVD) – I believe the first person that ever alerted me to this amazing gem of exploitation has to be popular writer and podcaster Ed Demko several years ago as he raved about this feature. This late 70s crime thriller is all about drugs and thugs but what separates it from the others is the man who plays the muscle for a crime boss is a man with no legs! But it doesn’t stop there as Mr. No Legs is reminded by his boss a couple times throughout the feature that he was the one that took care of him after his accident. But Mr. No Legs has something to prove and he is one bad ass sum of a bitch as he has shotguns built into his wheelchair, goes swimming with hot women, knows martial arts, and knows how to take care of loose ends. When Mr. No Legs isn’t on screen we have two cops Chuck and Andy that are following leads to find out about the one’s sister’s death which eventually leads them to a fight with Mr. No Legs and his boss! This movie is wacky and entertaining as hell and if that isn’t enough at one point one of the cops is stabbing a corvette with a sword during one of their big fights at the end as I give this wonderful wackiness 3 ½ stars.

Alien Private Eye (VHS) – This 1989 film is terrible but it’s hilariously wonderful if you couldn’t tell by the title? Anyway Lemro is an alien on Earth who spends his time on Earth as a private eye trying to pick up hotties with his crazy dance moves in alleys and his living room! But when his new hottie of a girlfriend Rene gets involved with an artifact that holds the info for a designer drug from his home planet it is time for Lemro to get to work and crack this case. Lemro quickly finds out he isn’t the only alien hanging out on Earth and must figure out whom to trust? This film has everything that will make you shake your head and giggle like a teenage girl which also includes Lemro shooting lasers from his wrists late into the film to save his girlfriend. Now the movie is super terrible, no lie, but I have to give it 2 ½ stars for entertaining the hell out of me and I dare you go seek this one out.

Amityville in Space (DVD) – As usual for all of those who are keeping track with me this is entry #40 where Mark Polonia is back once again and actually got a lot of press with this project late in the summer. Now saying that this wasn’t exactly movie gold like a “Leprechaun 4: In Space”. This time around a priest has decided to take the fight to the haunted house one final time as they bill it ‘Good vs. Evil’. During the battle the demonic house gets bored and forces its way out of existence only to reappear in the year 3015 near a black hole where the space cruiser “Wyoming 227” is trying to decide if they should zap it out of existence? No dice kids’ as usual dumb white people gotta still go into the haunted ass house even in space and of course the space travelers are hit with unspeakable evil and oh yeah they find the priest hanging out in a closet. I won’t bore you with all the great details of why this makes sense but bottom line even in 3015 they are still unsure how to rid the world of this evil and believe me Polonia made sure there is room for a sequel. To me this entry feels like Polonia tried to put some thought into it like his “Deathhouse” entry but just falls flat. I don’t blame him for trying something new in the “Amityville” series, just feels he may have needed more help to pull off this venture as I give it 1 ½ stars for what it could have been…

The Snow Devils (DVD) – A mid-60s flick where the polar ice caps are melting because of some space Yetis and their invention from their home planet that they fucked up years ago! Alien Bigfoots I am in as I have to give this adventure 2 ½ stars.

Winterbeast (Blu-ray) – A film like “Spookies” that was started, never finished, and then restarted again over a couple of years has found its cult audience recently with its new Blu-ray release. Apparently a monstrous Native American legend is Claymation and pissed off as these odd shaped monsters are killing good folk at a popular mountain lodge. Throw in a dumb forest ranger and you got a movie that most of us are totally sure what it’s all about but enjoy the hell out of it as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Ninja (Blu-ray) – Scott Adkins is Casey, an orphaned American teenager who was taken into a legendary dojo that still teaches the way of the ninja. After a falling out with another pupil Masazuka Casey heads to New York from Japan to protect the Yoroi Bitsu or the treasure/weapons of the ninja. If you are a fan of titles “American Ninja” or “Enter the Ninja”? Welcome to a new generation of badassery kids because Scott Adkins and crew put on a show as this isn’t any 80s hokey shit going down Dudikoff as I give this 3 ½ stars.

Ninja II (Blu-ray) – Casey is back and living the life as the new master of the dojo, has a wife, and has just recently found out a kid soon to come. But things are not well when Casey comes home one evening going out for his pregnant wife to find her murdered. Then the rest of the movie becomes one bad ass fight for revenge as Casey after fucking up people in Japan heads to Thailand to obliterate all in his path to satisfy his thirst for revenge as I give the sequel 3 stars.

Creature from Black Lake (Blu-ray) – This 1976 film known to Bigfoot fans takes place in the swamp and small town of Louisiana called Oil City. Two college students from the University of Chicago convince someone to fund their little expedition to Louisiana to investigate and try to prove the existence of a creature called Bigfoot? After hearing about multiple reports of a man losing his friend to a swamp creature they want to study it. Once there of course the two college students stick out like a sore thumb and just try to do their thing without stirring up any trouble as they are in a different country basically. After not much success investigating and only hearing sounds outside of a barn they run into old local Joe Canton who points them in the right direction. That is when the two college boys come face to face with the local swamp creature legend and now just trying to survive its attacks! Only had the pleasure of seeing this feature as a youngster during the mid-80s not remembering any of it most likely because like most fans we all remember “Legend of Boggy Creek”. That film is usually the first that comes to everyone’s mind who grew up at time so cool titles like this get overshadowed. Well now is the time to rediscover this Bigfoot film as Synapse Films has taken the painstaking task of putting a special edition out and it looks unbelievable! This might be one of their best jobs to date with this cleanup of the film and adding a couple extras that will make fans very happy: commentary from Mike Gingold and Chris Poggali, and more importantly “Swamp Stories” with Dean Cundey which is informative, entertaining, and cool how the film was taken in by this small community at the time. Great stuff as I give this package 4 out of 4 stars and available at www.synapse-films.com .

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!