Gross Movie Reviews #633

When the Trash Man Knocks (DVD/Tubi) – Caroline is a woman haunted by a tragic event many years ago that has caused her the fear of leaving the house. But what scared her two decades ago, “The Trash Man”, has returned. Instead of being your usual rando slasher genre fare (which isn’t a bad thing?) this film goes about fleshing out a more psychological story about how the Trash Man was able to scar a town. This legendary killer has haunted Caroline and her son for so many years that they also have become part of the legend. There is some wonderful kills and bodies pile up quickly once it gets going. I try to not go into too much detail as it can give this fun new breed of slasher film away and want it to be fun for first time viewers as I can honestly say this will be on my “Best of 2024 list” at the end of the year as I give it 4 stars.

Cocaine Crabs from Outer Space (DVD) – Two space crabs have been sent to Earth on a mission but that is thrown out of whack when a rough landing breaks the translator for the crabs to communicate. Soon after the crabs are found by frat boys and given cocaine so of course the crabs completely lose their minds and kill the frat boys! With Detective Reese on the case he believes immediately its crabs that killed the young frat boys but no one will believe him. While during the investigation the crabs soon understand the more cocaine the more they can breed and kill humans! A hilarious throwback B-movie made on not much budget that definitely entertains if you enjoy the humor of this type of horror movie as I give it 3 stars.

Shaky Shivers (DVD) – The film is set perfectly in 1993 somewhere in the state of Washington where two young women have set out to wait for a full moon and once it happens the hilarity doesn’t stop with what these two get themselves into. But when the real story begins the day before when the two are working their ice cream parlor jobs as they discuss their futures only to be interrupted by a woman from the woods. This happens at closing time when Lucy and Karen just want to be done for the night but the strange woman curses Lucy as now she has to deal with becoming a werewolf. The two best friends try to figure out what they can do before tomorrow evening which brings us to their present time the next evening and things go from bad to worse when they read from “The Book of Spells”! Great effects, great story, I absolutely laughed my ass off at these two characters as this will be a horror film for people to talk about for years to come as I give it 4 stars and will most likely be on my “Best of 2024 list” at the end of the year.

Men in Suits (YouTube) – This is a fascinating look at people in the monster suits we all grew up with that were in some of the most famous monster suits ever made for Hollywood films. Learned about this documentary while reading a book on ‘Creature from the Black Lagoon’ about a young lady who was the driving force behind this historical creature and all the work she did. You can find the book on Amazon and it’s called “The Lady from the Black Lagoon”. Real cool shit that proved some things I heard throughout the years. But anyway this documentary takes an inside look of who and why they do what they do. If you are all about practical effects, you are going to want to search this one out as I give it 4 stars.

Amityville Bloodbath (DVD) – Welcome to those of you that don’t understand my obsession with these films but this is entry #58. I am a complete lunatic when it comes to Amityville or massacre films? (Way too long of a conversation to be honest so just go with it) Anyhow I would love to just talk shit on this entry but we all know there are so many bad ones so instead of that let’s take this with a grain of salt as a teenager Blazie Tudor threw their hat into an already crowded ring of entries. This no budget 32 minute flick stars Joel Wynkoop, Phil Herman, and John Ward where it involves two teenagers. Now it may have been a good thing the teenagers were filmed with sunglasses on as at any point they were going to laugh their asses off at being filmed? But these two go for a ride and for a picnic (that is a whole other conversation) to talk about Amityville, which thus in turn sets up the two friends being killed by a masked assailant in the spirit of Amityville?! Now, I can see some would take this as “garbage” where I took as a teenager filmmaker stumbled upon a plot line that wasn’t fully seen through? Making the Amityville town not the house as a presence that will kill any chance it gets until the town is empty of souls? Yes folks I went that f’n deep… but anyway we all know and its well documented that I have watched much worse so give this one a chance because I have a feeling we all are going to enjoy this Blazie Tudor is making movies ten years from now as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.   

The Time Travelers (DVD) – A flick about three scientists in 1964 (before I was born and most of yinz) working on a future and past time experiment that accidentally freezes up for the scientists and they have accidentally opened a portal a 107 years into the future! Now trapped in this post-apocalyptic future and being chased by mutants they do stumble upon that last living humans that hide in a cave. These last humans are relatives of scientists from years ago who were driven underground from the nuclear war and destruction. These last humans are on a deadline to leave the planet as the mutants creep in closer to destroying everything before the scientists arrive. Once the scientists understand they didn’t change the past since they are trapped they must agree to help go forward only to see there is no end as reality must go on. I fun concept as you can see many films and TV series stole from this idea as I give it 3 stars.

Body Count (DVD/YouTube) – So this latest venture into Indy cinema stars Jennifer Nangle! But it doesn’t just star Ms. Nangle she goes all John Saxon “Zombie Deathhouse” on us and stars, directs, writes, editor, produces, etc. Everything except for the music which I may say will go unnoticed but might be Rocky Gray’s best work? Anyway Jennifer and others put together an anthology of where Queen of Screams Malvolia is trying to kill randos in the wraparound with her band of misfits as there are stories to be told that flesh out this entertaining anthology! First story has an actress who has made one too many mistakes in her career and trying to get back on track or has she? As she is just trying to put pieces together that would allow her to gain her revenge… Second story is about an all-girls weekend that takes a turn to the sadistic because someone still holds a grudge from 15 years ago for a prank! Third story is about a trio of friends who set out to kill vampires. Fourth story is about old friends getting together and something goes horribly wrong as what was planned is turned upside down. Fifth story is about a woman who kills to get what she wants but runs into someone far more sinister because she hasn’t stuck with the code of witches. Before you flutter your eyes at another Indy anthology take note this was impressive as I mentioned Ms. Nangle decided to make this happen in all aspects of filmmaking which is impressive. And yes we all know unless it is “Creepshow” I am already gonna dislike the anthology but remember I also made one recently… What is funny about this one is Jennifer showed off more of her talent that most may give her credit for? Yeah the anthology isn’t perfect (it isn’t Creepshow) but she put together a 100 minute project that isn’t boring, doesn’t drag, or rely on nudity to get across what she wanted on screen and for that kudos as I give 3 out of 4 stars for this entertaining piece of art.

Graphic Sexual Horror (Blu-ray) – An interesting documentary that has just been picked up by Synapse Films about a former college professor who started a notorious website in the late 90s called insex.com. Synapse Films brings this uncut project from the filmmakers Barbara Bell and Anna Lorentzon that does a deep dive into the life and career of Brent Scott. He came up with a bondage/fetish site that eventually got shut down by the Homeland of Security. The documentarian filmmakers take a look into a genre that isn’t just ordinary porn but a subject that makes most of us uncomfortable even speaking about it? This film explains what Brent was trying to do in so many words for people who were into something much different than your ordinary sex that became termed as “violent sex” by some or as I describe as a shock, a fetish, or a turn-on like no other. The Blu-ray goes above and beyond than the censored 2009 version that is uploaded on YouTube with interesting interviews with the models and an interview with co-director Barbara Bell. Best way to explain this is quoting Brent “It was an experiment at first to see what I could do?” This is might not be my “cup of tea” but I felt the documentary was done in a very tasteful way for all viewers who had any interest to be inform of the history of this being on the internet as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and can be purchased through www.synapsefilms.com .   

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