Gross Movie Reviews #682

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Christmas Revenge (DVD) – This is the short film by Derek Braasch that was included on Phil Herman’s fun project ‘I Slay Christmas’ anthology two years ago and now has been released on its own with some extras. The quick hitting short film deals with Santa being held captive by a man named Curtis. Curtis is upset and wants his revenge on Santa for kissing his mother and ruining the family. Problem, the family was weird to begin with as Santa explains it was Grandpa with mom messing around. It is what it is for the most part but it was enough to distract Curtis for Santa to hit the panic button to alert Mrs. Claus. She arrives to kick ass but also has a bone to pick with Mr. Claus in this fun holiday horror stuff as I give the short film on its own 3 out of 4 stars.

Krampus Collection: Krampus I-V (DVD) – Matthew Mark Hunter is at it again with this holiday collection of short films over the past decade he has made that deals with this evil holiday horror character ‘Krampus’. Part one deals with a young boy David not listening to his babysitter on Christmas Eve as Krampus comes to visit. Part two involves siblings and a babysitter as the older brother Sean despises the holiday as Krampus and his supernatural evil toys come to visit. Part three is a little interesting as a little girl writes Santa about causing her family pain as good ole Saint Nick sends Krampus! Part four deals with the modern day origin of Krampus and individuals believing they can control the evil menace. Part five has Krampus as a snow beast who visits those who celebrate the holiday offseason? None of the collection overstays its welcome, if anything it really shows how much of a filmmaker Mr. Hunter has grown as I give the fun independent collection 3 out of 4 stars.

The Wynkoop Tales (DVD) – Joel Wynkoop writes/directs/produces this anthology of four stories that are from storyteller Barry Atwater who is trying to sell his wild stories to a publisher. The wraparound of course is Barry telling the stories to the publisher and why they should be picked up. But first story involves a husband tired of his wife and selling her to another man to pay the bills. Second story deals with a man trying to do right by his wife after becoming a vampire recently as he tries to not involve her. Third story is an interesting twist of a couple of psychos escaping the looney bin only to enjoy killing again. Fourth story is somewhat hilarious as it involves a woman coming across some masked idoits in a forest whose cult revolves around the demon god ‘Zoltron’! Problem is her father just drove 900 miles to kick some ass to save his daughter. If you are a fan of this great independent talent then this is a must have for your collection as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Lethal Nightmare (DVD) – A recently released film from the Polonia Brothers that was made in 1991 but never made its release because of the company at the time it was with closed up. Now to their best ability you get to witness this once lost film that was shot on Super-8 by the brothers as Mark does an introduction to the film explaining why it wasn’t released and that was a remake of one of their earlier projects. This is a very bizarre Polonia Brothers project as it has a wonderful ‘Phantasm’ vibe to it as three brothers living together discover evil in their home that perhaps is coming from their dreams and nightmares. The more you think you understand the weirder the film gets as I give this very odd never quite finished project 2 out of 4 stars.

Special Needs Revolt! (Tubi) – This independent film is hilarious, made to make you feel awkward and very on par with today’s politics right now in 2025! Billy Bates is a guy with Down syndrome who is forced to live in a group home because his grandma “Is a bitch!” Billy’s words not mine. During a New Year’s Eve party Billy finally gets in the spirit of the event after seeing a candidate for President: Donald J. Kruger is going to run on the platform of getting rid of all the cripples. Billy slips on puke, hits his head, and wakes up three years later to find this moron Kruger is the president and has special needs people arrested on site. As Billy fights with authorities in public he escapes their custody in the town of Donville where he finds friends in hiding. These are people just like Billy hiding out from the new government and military as Billy decides it is time for a rebellion! Billy Bates leads a force of special needs people and wrestlers to capture President Kruger and expose him for the asshole he is. I absolutely enjoyed this film as I too have two special needs people in my life and there is a lot of possible awkward moments in the film for audiences who do not have anybody like Billy in their lives. I wish the 110 minute running was edited down as I believe the project would benefit greatly from it but don’t let that stop you from enjoying an excellently made film with a great cast that will make you squirm a little while watching it as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Channel 13 (Blu-ray) – A lost anthology that was made by the Polonia Brothers after ‘Splatter Farm’ that was never quite finished but definitely has a nostalgic vibe of what it was like at the time they filmed it in the late 80s. Again this as an introduction by Mark Polonia explaining what happened to the film and how its available now as the first tale is ‘All Hallows Eve’ where a man brings a scarecrow to life to claim it is the only friend he has. Second tale called ‘Claws of Terror’ deals with a mutant bird meets man. Third tale is somewhat funny as Mark Polonia explains it was the brothers take on ‘Motel Hell’ before ever seeing the full movie called ‘Slaughterhouse’. Hank’s Sauce Farm is the place to be if you want good food and not be seen from ever again! If you are a nerd for Polonia Brothers projects as I am this is some wonderful unfinished stuff to witness as its frozen in time and really cool how they shot Super-8 for a bit along with SOV as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #678

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Saurians (DVD) – Old school early 90s Mark Polonia project about dinosaurs running amok! In Fossil Valley a controlled explosion at a construction site opens a hole in the side of a mountain where two dinosaurs are discovered and not long before the ancient creatures take a stroll. Archeological students are out in the woods looking for fossils to begin with because it is called “Fossil Valley” until they are being stalked by the things! Meanwhile we get a hunter character whose offered $100,000 to bring back one these creatures before they destroy everything. It’s a fun corny time that includes Mark Polonia pulling a stick of dynamite out of his butt to defeat the T. Rex as this feature deserves 2 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Sasquatch vs. Kreppy Klown (DVD) – Entry #67 in the series comes from a newer name in the Indie scene that did me a solid several years ago by making the feature ‘Gingersquatch’ which was hilarious. Now this kind gentleman has decided to go the odd way of “$5 Kickstarter” to make the project. Whether it’s a success or not is in the eye of the beholder but this was a very interesting way of making an Amityville film that literally consisted of Sasquatch going into the Amityville house becoming possessed, then attacks a naked woman, while a Kreepy Klown which is an experiment that stalks the woods for victims, also while you get a full 16 minutes of Mr. Douglas Waltz building a tent, and did I mention Sasquatch gets caught jerking off before he faces off with Kreepy Klown in a parking lot! Again, a very interesting way of going about making an ‘Amityville’ flick as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Flesh of the Unforgiven (Vimeo) – This stylistic film that has high value for not much budget involves Sienna and Jack, a couple who have had some recent marriage issues decide to head to a cabin that looks like the perfect winter scene. Sienna wants to make up for her mistakes as Jack is under pressure by his boss to get something written or he is fired. Things begin to change slowly for both as Jack receives an odd VHS tape called ‘Violent Love’ and a paper that simples states “Inspiration”. Both struggle to be in the same room at times with each other but both are witnessing the same thing but in different ways as Sienna has nightmares of someone named “The Death Dealer”, Jack becomes obsessed with the VHS tape that has a snuff tape feel but cannot look away. With two strong performances from the legendary Debbie Rochon and Joe Hollow it lends to the story telling like a little sleazy thriller from an alternate reality. This is almost like a lost film from the early 2000s that I feel Indie fans will quite enjoy watching as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Holy Moly (DVD) – A 40 minute SOV film from the early 90s that involves a priest who is proud of what he does but becomes haunted by an evil mysterious individual he encounters in an alley way. This evil figure claims he will make “Holy” (the nickname for the priest) to murder someone. Holy doesn’t believe in this but after the meeting he seems to be slowly possessed by a demonic force that forces him to kill a good friend. If that wasn’t enough for the priest he does get killed by “ANAL FISTING”… Still with me as I give this lost film 2 out of 4 stars.

Four Nights in Fear Forest (Tubi) – Mark Polonia throws his hat in the ring of giving a small budget version of ‘Five Nights of Freddy’ a try where a tragic event during Halloween 1995 causes a horror attraction to shut down. Mr. Bones’ animatronics Mummy, The Bride, Dracula, and the Wolf Man supposedly attacked people? Now present day, four convicts with a special program allows convicts to defer their fines and lower prison sentences have been brought to the site to help Mr. Bones clean up. This cleanup is to allow the boardwalk to expand with newer, better things as Mr. Bones constantly reminisces about his animatronics wonders. They have four nights to do the work but after a stormy night lightning brings the monsters to life as they look to kill the convicts one by one. An entertaining cheeseball movie where Jeff Kirkendall as Mr. Bones steals the show as I say give this a try folks as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2025 is two weeks away my friends

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GUESTS:

Mark Polonia

Jeff Kirkendall

Jamie Morgan

Tim Hatch

Jessa Flux

Mel Heflin

Phil Herman

Steve Rudzinski

Aleen Isley

Morrigan Thompson-Milam

The official Grossfest tattoo artist and all around coolest horror movie fan ever to exist Angel O’Connor!

Special guest – Jason Burke

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

Tickets for admission: $10 for one day or $15 for both days.

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

(Again no one under 18 will be allowed to get a tattoo so please don’t ask. Also you will need a Grossfest wristband in order to make your appointment with Angel the tattoo artist.)

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

Here is the vendor list:

Nene’s Soaps

Nekroshark Films

Burghbrats Krafty Kreations

Melissa Sapienza-Garrett

Classy Crows

Lowell Squires

Sam Hice Art

Ultra Violent

Matthew W. Parmenter

Cheevies Film Productions

Chase Will

Nomad Comics

MMH Productions

Kiss of Death Productions

RJR Craft Labs

13 Occult

Secondhand Spooky

Video Nasty Productions

Clifton Taylor

Celebration of Spirits

1282 Productions

Loretta Lynn Chambers

Steve Livengood

Static Talent/Matt Chasin/Michael Coulombe

Dandylinn

Dazed N Disorderly

Drunken Yinzers Productions

JAB Productions

Chanda Rawlings

Tabatha Rader

Gross Movie Reviews #669

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The Final Possession (Tubi) – One of the newest projects from Mark Polonia has Tim Hatch in the role of Father Thomas warning all of us that the devil is coming. The Father’s plan is to send out his disciples to stop the “evil one” and to have the agents of the darklord killed. (Which honestly folks that isn’t God like right or isn’t that against the church? Must be one of those Prophecy film things I am still trying to figure out 25 years later…) Anyhow, if Father Thomas does not accomplish this task it will allow the “Day of Judgement” to come! Bold undertaking for an independent film on a very limited budget as the film will be a fun watch for hardcore Polonia fans. My main complaint of this film is it did entertain me but felt like it was made 30 years too late in the career of Polonia Brothers Entertainment as I feel it would have been a totally different film then and how they would have tackled it? Either way another solid entry into the IMDb list for Polonia and crew as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars and yes I quite enjoyed Tim Hatch reading his lines from the book in a couple of scenes as I have done that on a regular basis (yes, I have become a fan of Tim Hatch)

He Never Left (Plex) – In 1997 at a small town of Larsen City has a masked killer “Pale Face” who haunted the town terribly killing many only to disappear without reason. Now present time, Gabe a recent parole has done something bad and trying to hide out at a seedy motel. Gabe trying to arrange an escape out of town now that authorities are searching everywhere for him has to stay hidden until he gets the call to bolt. Problem something happens in the next room and Gabe believes “Pale Face” is back? This is where the real story begins as Gabe is losing his mind and bodies are starting to pile up again. This is a creative independent serial killer film that will leave many thinking one way or another as there is no middle ground on this movie. Yes, you will know who the killer is but do you actually? The beauty of the film is how it sucks you in believing you are in for another hack and slash Indy but there is a lot more to this than meets the eye. Folks give this film a chance, pay attention, and I quite enjoyed what this film did as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Popeye: The Slayer Man (Amazon) – So the second of three Popeye horror films out there and this one goes with more of what we know of the spinach eating cartoon character. In this version it is rumored a ghost haunts the abandoned spinach canning factory down at the dock and it kills anyone that enters and talks shit on the location. Twenty years later enter sleezeball real estate people, bootleg Joel D. Wynkoop as security, a small group of film students wanting to film on the last night before the building is sold, an abusive boyfriend and his crew and we got a POPEYE SLASHER FILM! WTF? Funny thing happens here folks… the movie works as it becomes a fun bloodbath with an entertaining subplot about radioactive spinach. Gimme stuff like this all the time as I give the cartoon adaption 3 stars.

The Final Alliance (YouTube) – So apparently Hollywood or sub-Hollywood was sucking ideas from my brain long ago as this beauty comes out of the golden era of direct-to-video B-movie junk of 1990 that stars David Hasselhoff as Will Colton who has come back home with… his pet puma! Yep, I got you wanting to watch it before you even finish reading this. Do I even need to write this review at this point? Colton and Felix roll back into town mysteriously on this old farm that bikers have made their ‘fuck pad’. Colton refuses to have any of this go on so he starts kicking ass soon as he enters his old house. But Colton and the pet puma do not stop there as they learn the biker gang and oh did I mention the biker gang is led by the legendary John Saxon with bleached out hair, weird contacts, and rides in a side car the whole film? Back to the story Colton and Felix roll into town meet the town hottie who owns the grocery store and begins to convince the small town it is time to get rid of this biker trash. As Joe Bob would say “have we seen this couple of dozen times? Yes we have. But have you seen it with a weird John Saxon and Hoff’s pet puma?” This amazing hot garbage feels like it was sucked out of my teenager ‘Knight Rider’ loving mind and I am quite happy to let yinz know you can watch it for free on the YouTubes n’at as I give the movie 3 stars.

Empire of the Dark (YouTube) – Holy shit what wormhole did I fall down as I watched this weird fantasy film that was made by Steve Barkett who also stars in it with the likes of Joe Pilato and Jay Richardson. Immediately when it begins it feels like some lost late 70s TV movie that played once and disappeared into the void. Then after credits the movie takes another odd turn as I feel like I just found a lost episode of Commander USA I use to watch as a kid? So here are the plot folks: a cop named Richard goes through a portal (with one bullet by the way) to save his super-hot girlfriend (which there is no way this dude is pulling her). But there is a twist kids he can only save the baby or super-hot ex-girlfriend now mom. He picks the kid and everything is history or until twenty years later strange shit pops up as Richard is a private detective who is working on the “demon slasher” case and dabbles in sword play. (Did Dan Komarek write this shit?) The Satanists are back murdering people, Richard’s hot ex is talking to him in his dreams, and the kid from twenty years ago now grown up wants answers damn it and the only way to defeat the Satanists is with bibles and swords as I give it 2 ½ stars!

Beezel (DVD) – So some weirdo bought a house with a fucked up looking witch living in the basement in 1966. He convinced some female to marry him and become a serial killer of sorts as they feed this witch random people in hopes that this evil presence produces a baby and give them power. Supposedly this witch was taken by humans and that is how she got here so of course she requires a sacrifice if you are going to keep her ass in the basement. A couple (which the girlfriend character is an unlikable bitch) move in the home as the dude is the son of said serial killers and wants to sell this home and get the fuck out of there. Well the girlfriend doesn’t let that happen as she seeks out the stories about the weird shit that has gone on over the years in this house. I know there is horror fans that will just eat this film up and good for you but this movie for me seem to be missing that important ingredient “heart”? I felt like the film wasn’t bad but just going through the paces of hope to start a series of films to keep telling the story of said witch as I can only give the film 2 stars.

Harvester of Eyes (Fawesome) – Polonia and crew with another recent release that concerns eyeballs, a fortune teller, no budget, but also felt like it had to be done in a couple days (felt like there was a time constraint?) This interesting tale features Jamie Morgan throughout and looks like she had absolute fun with it as Sinthia, is sent out by her sister from hell to collect eyeballs from humans. Why eyeballs? Well they are the gateway to souls of mortals which Sinthia’s sister craves. Sinthia leaves the comforts of hell to take over a fortune teller’s business to collect her victims or eyeballs in this case. Things are going great until an old inspector gets involved and figures out the real reason bodies are piling up around town. Jamie Morgan was awesome, Jeff Kirkendall was perfect as the inspector, it just felt like the project was a bit rushed but that could be me but definitely see Polonia fans enjoying another entry outside of the usual Polonia films we have seen in the past as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Mark Polonia: A Life of Monsters, Mayhem, and Movies (YouTube) – For those who are interested this is a quick two part documentary done in two five minute segments in 2015 on the career of Mark Polonia. Most likely a piece for local TV just celebrating what Mark has accomplished in his community. It is a fun look and interview with Mark as they even talk with others who worked with Mark over the years and tell quick stories about him. Another reason to check it out is to refresh people’s memories Mark is one of the godfathers of SOV and what their projects did for the video market in the late 80s and early 90s that many movie fans might not know or have forgotten about. Fun stuff so if you get a chance, its free, its quick as I give it 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2025 – August 1st & 2nd

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(We wanna thank ahead of time the great guests, the awesome vendors, and of course the people that will attend, thank yinz all for making this happen and supporting Independent horror)

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this group link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

Tickets for admission: $10 for one day or $15 for both days at the door. (Yes we are lazy n’at)

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

(Again no one under 18 will be allowed to get a tattoo so please don’t ask. Also you will need a Grossfest wristband in order to make your appointment with Angel the tattoo artist.)

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

For show info: http://www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

(Complete Vendor list is coming and yes we are sold out)

(Movie list is coming along and will be posted July 4th weekend)

Yes, there will be a band “13 Occult” playing 7pm on back patio on Saturday after Grossfest 2025 closes! https://www.facebook.com/13occultMusic

Grossfest 2025 guest list:

The Mummy and The Monkey (Saturday only)

Mark Polonia

Jeff Kirkendall

Jamie Morgan

Tim Hatch

Jessa Flux

Mel Heflin

Phil Herman

Steve Rudzinski

Aleen Isley

Morrigan Thompson-Milam

The official Grossfest tattoo artist and all around coolest horror movie fan ever to exist Angel O’Connor!

Special guest – Jason Burke

Getting to know your Grossfest 2025 guest!

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Oh Grossfest fans we got one more for yinz to meet, enjoy, and have fun chatting with in August at Grossfest 2025. This person has taken an interesting path to get where they are as they are out of the state of New York. I would say they are a fresh face to the genre but they have done so much in a short span of time in front of the camera as an actor and behind the camera also that it makes you wonder when this awesome talent has had time to sleep. You may know this impressive talent in such films: She Kills, It Kills, Frozen Sasquatch, House Squatch, Cocaine Werewolf, and more shark films than Maddie Deering (the shark film expert) could imagine! A lot of yinz Indy fans will quite enjoy this major staple in and around Polonia Brothers Entertainment allow us to introduce yinz to the super cool Jamie Morgan!

Go check out her work at: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm5840110/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_0_nm_8_in_0_q_Jamie%2520Morgan

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

For show info: http://www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

Vendor tables are $100 each and come with two passes contact grossfest@gmail.com for vendor application and how to pay.