Tag Archives: Gross Movie Reviews

Gross Movie Reviews #642

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Cruel Summer (Blu-ray) – A 2021 Indy flick that has college friends setting out for the summer break to have a 80s murder/mystery weekend party. Of course they have decided in order to be an authentic 80s party they are not taking cell phones??? Let’s stop the review here for a second: When did this become a recent horror movie staple when in reality a 20 year old let alone most 40 year olds cannot let go of their fucking phone?! Okay back to the review… Anyhow six friends make it to this summer property that just happens to be a site of a murder spree sometime in the past. It isn’t too long before a mystery killer picks up a leftover invite for the party at the property and pays a visit. But we the viewer quickly learn this was planned from the start. Instead of being an interesting Indy slasher it turns into a mostly incoherent forgettable horror film as I can only give this 1 star.

Sequel: Cruel Summer II (Blu-ray) – Two years later survivors of the 80s murder/mystery tour try to move on with their lives? Some are doing better than the others but all learn that one of them has chosen to put together a play about the tragic weekend. As most of the survivors believed their main menace ‘Gunnar’ was dead but his body was never found by the police. Now getting ready to attend the play in support of their friend, bodies are piling up around them again! The sequel at least felt like it had more direction but for what exactly not totally sure as a play about a killing spree of friends being put on two years later really doesn’t make for an exciting sequel as I got to give this 1 star also.

The Menu (On Demand) – Now you know me as sometimes I don’t always watch the popular films when they first get released as my reviewing habits are always all over the place. But I was asked recently to talk about this film for a podcast and felt like a jagoff soon as I finished watching it because I knew whatever I was gonna say it isn’t going to be good enough for the fans of this film because plain and simple “this isn’t the film for me”. With that out of the way what we have here is the ‘elite’ or ‘privileged’ pay top dollar for an exclusive meal served on an isolated island. Once there a character Margo, a date of a foodie who supposedly knows all about high class dining questions everything. Well it could be because the chef is considered a genius and has everything planned out along with staff following him like a cult. The chef strives for perfection and if that means beating a couple attendees, cutting fingers off, proving a point of having someone under pressure to cook so they can fail so be it. But his grand plan or suicide cult pact is to have everyone there on the island die because it is all about the experience! But Margo throws him off because she doesn’t belong but unlike the others attending she finds a way to challenge the chef as he respects this. Well casted film with an enjoyable ending but I was really hoping someone was gonna get fucking eaten during this film as I give it 3 stars.

Bull Shark 2 (Tubi) – Some time has passed since the shark attacks in a Texas lake that had game warden Spencer left to solve them. But now retired and drunk he is seeked out by a mother who has lost her daughter on a lake that people are not supposed to be on. New mayor and sheriff are trying to restart the town as it has been hit hard with no tourists after the last film’s events. Spencer after wrestling with his drinking and bad dreams grabs his brother and gets back into action of going to kill another shark. Ten years ago this would have been a “SyFy Channel Shark Week” exclusive, now it is just thrown out there on Tubi without much PR. Right or wrong, the film does a good exploitation of ‘Jaws 2’ with not much budget as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Happy Hour Holocaust 3: The Last Call (DVD) – Indy filmmaking vet Jim Roberts returns with the anthology that has an evil force known only as BarKreep telling stories one last time… maybe? After receiving a special holiday hummer in his truck he tells his new friend a story called ‘Cooking with Roger’ (I have reviewed this short in the past) where an odd older combo are streaming their cooking techniques out there for yinz to watch. Well the two find some strange mushrooms and decide to ingest them. Which you know only bad things can happen from there especially when a weird green elf shows up to convince the two to do some screwed up shit live while their show streams! BarKreep hitchhikes back to his family’s home to tell them a story called ‘Misty’ about a woman who claims to be lost but more than anything just enjoys the company of men… and slaughtering them. (Love the hat wore by one of the characters in this one “Show me that Butthole”.) BarKreep keeps the slaughter fest going and moves down the road to meet up with ‘MOM”! Here he tells a story called ‘Til Death’ about a man brutally killing his wife, cleaning up the mess, and just enjoying his new life. But Cynthia doesn’t let go as easy as she haunts her husband in the most disturbing ways. I have to say Jim Roberts’s mom Karen who plays the character Cynthia looked like she had way too much fun with this role?! If you enjoy serial killers and bloodbaths in your movies this will be the entertainment you need to seek out? I give this Jim Roberts project 3 out of 4 stars. What I find so interesting about this series of anthologies he has done is they feel very different than his stand alone movies like Jim has a different personality when it is time to visit the BarKreep so keep that in mind next time viewing the films of the great Jim Roberts.

Founders Day (DVD) – Oddly enough this is a political horror film that centers on a small town mayoral election that has gotten a little out of control just like our presidential elections. As the town fights and protests over who should be the next mayor a masked killer shows up to start stacking up teenage bodies. But after the supposed killer ‘Adam’ is killed about 50 minutes into the film questions emerge as the killing doesn’t stop causing many in the town to point fingers at each other. I had hope for a different ending, something random as the first few minutes may give this film away which most likely caused this horror film to quickly disappear last year? Also the other thing that hurts this film is the long drawn out teenage drama that dominates instead of being more of a straight up slasher as I can only give this 1 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #641

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The First Omen (On Demand) – So they reached deep in the bag on this one… a prequel to a series that started in 1976. I would have loved to be in that pitch meeting especially since the remake failed many years ago. Anyway it is Rome, Italy 1971, where a young woman Sister Maggie who has devoted her life to the church is on her way to taking her vows. The former Father Brennan (the opening scene sets up this character) seeks out Maggie to warn her about a teenager Carlita who is in the orphanage that the church runs and Maggie will be spending her time learning at. The former Father Brennan finally convinces Maggie to meet with him and explain that there is a conspiracy within the church as people have lost faith worldwide? So in order to get people’s faith back let’s bring forth the “Antichrist”! Thus reason for Carlita to be watched carefully as the movie unfolds as she will be an unwilling participate in the birth of the Antichrist. Up until now the church’s plan has failed as there only have been female children as they need a male child. But as Sister Maggie scrambles to “look for the mark” an even darker secret is unveiled to tie all in what the grand plan actual is? To be honest, I am surprised I liked this fucking movie. Prequel to a film series that really ended in the early 80s with ‘The Final Conflict’ (no I do not count part four as that was a super absurd turd)  I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and have that same feeling after watching ‘The Thing’ prequel from like a decade ago or so? But noooooo, this movie felt like it stood on its own, it was surprisingly interesting, bloody as hell, and they tied it into the 1976 classic without it feeling forced like some prequels to other movie series that have come before it. Horror fans solid effort here so give this one a chance as I give it 3 stars.

Scream (DVD) – No, not the more recent series with “Ghostface”. This is the lesser known low budget slasher from the early 80s that probably the last time I seen it was picking up a dusty ass VH box off the bottom rack of the horror section of “Movietime” rental store in like 1988? This focuses on a group of people rafting to an abandoned mining town and setting up camp. Of course overnight someone begins to kill one by one leaving the people to point the fingers at each other? The film can be a little boring with little blood and let’s not forget the odd choice of music that makes this slasher feel at times like a lost “After School Special”. Also too for those who like me that will always have that urge to watch every 80s horror film this film this was also released under the title “The Outing” as I give it 2 stars.

Waspzilla (Waveawesome) – A new Indy film that seem only (for now) got released on another free streaming platform that stars one of the most talked about Indy actors going these days in Angela Bradford, along with Morrigan Thompson, Clint Beaver, and Matt Skinner (way to go dude). Some yahoo shoots a toxic waste barrel causing a wasp to be infected by the toxic mess and of course mutate! A deputy and a rookie (who look like extras from an early Chris Seaver film) are called into action to investigate this horrible thing in the backwoods. When the two are not busy chasing the giant wasp topless the mutated wasp is shooting freakin fire from its ass to annihilate humans. If needed more, literally a sting from this creature makes its victims implode except for the sheriff near the end of the film because you know that is needed for the plot. Yeah the film is full of plot holes, yeah the wasp is completely computerized and only has like three actions other than shooting fire from its ass, yeah wearing those pleather yellow outfits for a deputy and rookie don’t make any sense, but did you know there is a topless housecleaning scene that makes even less sense in the movie? If you are looking for your Indy horror to not make a ton of sense but make you laugh several times I suggest this flick as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

The Lamp (Shudder) – This 1987 feature also known as ‘The Outing’ recently got the Blu-ray treatment and being rediscovered by horror fans on Shudder. For me this was one of those late night “Skinamax” features I always caught on late Friday or Saturday night so of course I have a soft spot for it. Forgive me for only remembering the last 30 minutes of this movie but it is with kids sneaking into a museum after hours to party horror formula. The story begins with degenerates breaking into an old woman’s house finding “the lamp” and unleashing the evil in it causing their deaths. Short time after it ends up at a museum where some kids decide to sneak in after hours to stay overnight to party. Problem is the Djinn has already done its damage and now wants to slaughter the kids before it is forced back into the lamp. A fun but uneven horror film with a cool creature, some fun kills, and a great poster that many older horror fans remember hanging up in the video stores as I give it 3 stars.

Psycho Ape 2! The Wrath of Kong (DVD) – Addison and crew literally come out swinging in this sequel to his no budget hit “Psycho Ape” of leaning into the comedy that much more where the film is a parody of a parody of a parody if that makes any sense at all? It is now supposedly 25 years later and the three main characters Nancy Banana, Dr. Zoomis, and Psycho Ape are all friends trying to live out their exciting lives until it becomes a courtroom drama as Psycho Ape is believed to be killing again. There is a woman who wants Psycho Ape behind bars by any means as the threesome of Nancy, the good doctor, and Psycho Ape are just trying to live their best lives as they reenact several scenes from several movies along the way. Pay attention when they are not ironing the gorilla suit mid-movie they go through a crapload of famous films quickly. This is one of those “check your brain at the door, grab a six pack, and strap yourself in for some laughs” kind of movie. Addison you had me immediately when the kids are trading for the infamous Psycho Ape card and the famous Billy Ripken card is mentioned. There is so much going on in this film it will literally take viewers two or three times to truly understand how cool this project actually is? Now saying that and looking at Addison’s films leading up to this it leaves me asking Indy fans an important question: Is Addison Binek possibly the next Lloyd Kaufman as he continues to build his young career? While you think on that this sequel is an absolute rolling on the ground, laughing until tears run down your face comedy I give 4 out of 4 stars too!

Fatal Games (DVD) – Some young athletes at a special school for training for nationals and hopefully the Olympics find themselves being stalked by an unknown killer. Yeah all the athletes are very competitive and banging each other’s brains out but this killer only uses a javelin to kill their victims even it means they must use scuba gear to get a girl in a pool! This slasher is unintentionally hilarious on so many levels making it that much more entertaining. Example: Pay attention to the shower scene? It’s the usual 80s nudity the women are completely nude in the background but when they switch to the men’s showers there is dudes in jock straps getting showers… what am I missing here? Let the dong fly! Let alone that just seems weird wearing your jock strap in the shower (coming from the guy who has taken a beer in the shower with him). A fun old school slasher that is worth the revisit as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Sons of Steel (Shudder) – Thank you Shudder for helping me find more Australian weirdness! This 1988 flick is in the somewhat futuristic land where a rock front man Black Alice runs things but he is also a peace activist. One night a suspicious boat comes into the Sydney harbor while Black Alice is forced into becoming an experimental hologram and released 113 years later in a world that was destroyed by nuclear war. Now Black Alice has ten hours to live which is a side effect of the hologram thingy to find a way back to his time and stop everything from going boom? Think “Repo Genetic Opera” (kind of) decades before it was made might be the best way to describe the weirdness as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Brainjacked (DVD) – Tristan is a young man thrown out on his ass and not sure where to go or what to do? While in a park for the night he is greeted by a beautiful young woman Laney who believes he is a male hooker but once the confusion is concluded she offers to help him. She brings the young man to a place of peace where a doctor helps lost young people by drilling holes into their skulls and giving them relief of whatever bothers them. The good doctor receives the name from the young people as “the gift giver”. Tristan hesitates but eventually gives the okay for the surgery but what seems wonderful at first but unleashes a dark secret the good doctor is hiding. Think of an independent version of ‘The Stepford Wives’ and ‘Disturbing Behavior’ but done better and more intense in my opinion in this exciting sci-fi horror film! Released in 2008/2009 this film to me at least should be talked about as an underground Indy classic as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Prey (DVD) – Like ‘The Outing’ the title ‘Prey’ is used so often as an alternate movie title so you usually find yourself like now describing which movie it is before even talking about the actual film. This one is another lesser known slasher that was made in 1979 but never got released until 1983 about a group of three couples going camping in the North point Mountains. Forest rangers are a little leery of people traveling there since the fires a couple decades back that killed a gypsy family living in a cave. Doesn’t take long for the group to feel someone is watching as it’s revealed late in the film it is disfigured giant of a human with an ax! It doesn’t vary from the slasher formula we all grew up with but also doesn’t overstay its welcome at 80 minutes. There is a longer version out there but I will let you research that as there are varying questions why this film took so long to be released as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #640

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Crocodile (Blu-ray) – For the first time this Taiwan/Korea production from 1978/1979/1981 aka Crocodile Fangs (watch the extras and read about it at www.synapsefilms.com you will totally understand) has been released in special edition Blu-ray form. Apparently there was several editions released even with a different director’s name in the credits but this the U.S. version restored. You can check out some alternate and deleted scenes in the extras after. Anyway, after a horrible storm and some atomic blasts this causes a crocodile to come hunting for humans! Two doctors and their families are on vacation and become victims to the ever growing mutation of a crocodile. These two doctors being very distraught resign their jobs and begin doing research on crocodiles and why would a giant one eat their families? While those two do that the giant crocodile feeds every three days on the next village downstream destroying all in its path. After getting the bad ass local fisherman involved the second half of the movie literally becomes almost a scene for scene of ‘Jaws’ exception for the leaping giant crocodile that had me laughing for a good five minutes. This flick is some wonderful international B-movie cheese but the real treat is the extras: besides the commentary from a writer and film historian along with the several different openings and endings that are alternate or deleted scenes that may have not been seen by U.S. audiences? My favorite extra has to be the interview with Won-se Lee! The real director as his interview is around 35 minutes and gets into him not actually knowing his name wasn’t in the credits (Sompote Sands by the way), or how hard it was doing a Thai/Korean production, or how much the film has fans outside of his country? This interview alone is entertaining, interesting and worth the price of the Blu-ray edition of the film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapsefilms.com .

Living to Die (VHS/YouTube) – This is a fun B-grade blackmail detective flick starring none other than Wings Hauser as Nick the burned out former detective who is brought in by a high roller in Vegas to check out who is trying to blackmail him? Nick tracks down a sleazy dude in Arnold Vosloo named Jimmy that came up with a scam. Problem when Nick is visiting Jimmy, Jimmy is shot to death in front of Nick and now has a whole host of other questions? Every time Nick gets close to some solution the person he visits is getting killed including eventually himself. Justifiable fun crap to watch when you are indecisive about what to watch on a rainy day as I give it 2 ½ stars.

A Soul’s Window (DVD) – Jason Burke’s latest short film tackles the story of Grant Herman. A man who awakens to a few familiar people in front of him with a death wound to the temple of his head. Mr. Herman is forced to hear out these people how he has harmed them in some way all because he is a bad “business man”. Burke’s writing and set up is brilliant for this project as I have written something similar but have never brave enough to bring it to film so I gotta respect the awesome job he did bringing this to life as I give this short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Just Before Dawn (DVD) – A 1981 fun slasher set in the mountains that follow a group of young people who are heading for some camping and checking out the land one of them own. Within minutes the city folk are stopped and warned by the forest ranger (George Kennedy) “the mountain doesn’t read”! Once settled the group explores the wonderful mountains, waterfalls, etc., including running into a backwoods family that isn’t too keen on them hanging out there. When they meet this family it’s about halfway through the movie and then the film takes a real gritty screwed up tone as the group is stalked by ruthless backwoods twins who stalk and kill them one by one. Will the group survive long enough to make it off the mountain or will the secret survive of why people have disappeared over the years in these woods? To this day the film is still entertaining as hell, well worth a rewatch, and has an ending you maybe have never seen or see coming as I give it 3 stars.

Rat Disaster (YouTube) – You had me at rats attacking people so I took a chance and checked out this killer rat flick from China filmed back in 2022 where rats carrying an unknown virus have made their way on a train. Once the train gets rolling the rats begin to wonder they are agitated and fall from the ceiling of a boxcar to start biting all humans. After several innocent people are sacrificed what’s left of the people on the train must decide if they can make it to a nearby town for a cure that just came into a hospital and make it back before nightfall. The rats hate sunlight. There is just a wonderful scene that reminds you of ‘Day of the Dead’ when they make it to the town and see the rats have killed everyone as they are stacked up in the streets, cool rat killing stuff! Best way to describe this is that it is a combo of  ‘Train to Busan’ and ‘World War Z’ with rats as I give this cheesy and dramatic entertainment 2 ½ stars.

Dreams of the Dead (DVD) – Many moons ago (1994) a young Brad Sykes made a SOV horror film in Virginia but never released it, now it is soon to be. This bold and interesting horror vision introduces us to a young man named Adrian who begins to get letters to his home for a past resident who suddenly disappeared? The letters are all addressed to an Edgar Kim and this fascinates Adrian to the point of distracting him away from finishing a movie script with his friend. As Adrian slowly dwells on the mystery of Edgar Kim he begins to have visions of a beautiful woman who he doesn’t know but does know she is connected to Edgar in some way. Adrian refuses to let this go as it sucks him in deeper. Also let’s note I quite enjoyed the scene with Adrian looking up Edgar in the yellow pages oh those were the days in 1994. Without giving up the brilliant ending Brad’s film comes off more like a psychological thriller than a straight up horror film? I don’t know if Mr. Sykes pulled off exactly what he wanted but this movie has kind of a ‘Sledgehammer’ vibe that I believe will have SOV fans screaming to preorder this immediately as I give this project Mr. Sykes should be proud of 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Don’t go in the Woods (DVD) – It is 1981 and some people are going missing in the same part of a small town wilderness where a group of four people have just shown up to go camping. After about 30 minutes of everyone else being killed off by a crazed mountain man the group trips over the cabin this crazed individual is staying at. From there in this terrible form of ‘Just before Dawn’ the four are just trying to survive long enough to get off the mountain as I give the film 2 stars.

The Blue Hole (DVD) – Dave Castiglione returns to the director’s chair some 17 years after his last directed film even though he has kept himself busy with acting roles. Rounding out his cast with some familiar Indy vets Dave puts together a mystery horror film of sorts that begins in Pine Barrens, New Jersey aka The Pines aka Pinelands June 1997 where a masked man stalks two women at their pool and kills them. This leads into a reporter being sent to the area 24 years later to interview a former police chief of the area and connect truth to folklore hopefully? Bree is not exactly happy with this latest gig because she has been passed over for managing editor but once there she becomes fully engrossed with the chief and her cameraman as she tries to connect several events of missing persons that this former police chief still wrestles with into retirement! As they go through all the strange things over the years Bree soon finds herself in possible trouble with ‘the blue hole’ legend? The film feels like a lost episode of a long canceled sci-fi TV series of the early 90s which will quickly find and entertain an audience for sure as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Crocodile Blu-ray review

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Crocodile (Blu-ray) – For the first time this Taiwan/Korea production from 1978/1979/1981 aka Crocodile Fangs (watch the extras and read about it at www.synapsefilms.com you will totally understand) has been released in special edition Blu-ray form. Apparently there was several editions released even with a different director’s name in the credits but this the U.S. version restored. You can check out some alternate and deleted scenes in the extras after. Anyway, after a horrible storm and some atomic blasts this causes a crocodile to come hunting for humans! Two doctors and their families are on vacation and become victims to the ever growing mutation of a crocodile. These two doctors being very distraught resign their jobs and begin doing research on crocodiles and why would a giant one eat their families? While those two do that the giant crocodile feeds every three days on the next village downstream destroying all in its path. After getting the bad ass local fisherman involved the second half of the movie literally becomes almost a scene for scene of ‘Jaws’ exception for the leaping giant crocodile that had me laughing for a good five minutes. This flick is some wonderful international B-movie cheese but the real treat is the extras: besides the commentary from a writer and film historian along with the several different openings and endings that are alternate or deleted scenes that may have not been seen by U.S. audiences? My favorite extra has to be the interview with Won-se Lee! The real director as his interview is around 35 minutes and gets into him not actually knowing his name wasn’t in the credits (Sompote Sands by the way), or how hard it was doing a Thai/Korean production, or how much the film has fans outside of his country? This interview alone is entertaining, interesting and worth the price of the Blu-ray edition of the film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapsefilms.com .

Gross Movie Reviews #639

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Galaxy Warriors (DVD) – Veteran Indy filmmaker Brett Kelly uses his mind and his usual no budget to bring a futuristic women in prison movie together. A bounty hunter in space under the name Demeter is contacted about her sister Artemis being imprisoned on a prison planet. So it is big sister to the rescue as her and co-pilot gets thrown in prison to find her sister. Once there Demeter notices everything is not going according to plan and they will need lots of help to make their escape. The film has a lot heart and feels like a 90s independent movie more than a recent one. But it loses some steam towards the end as it felt like Mr. Kelly wasn’t totally sure on how to end this project but that is just me thinking out loud there? No matter what I see fans of Brett Kelly enjoying this film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Amityville Bigfoot (DVD/Tubi) – Shawn Phillips returns to the director’s chair with entry #60 folks! This time around there are scientists in a secluded cabin experimenting on what should be an unknown creature, “Bigfoot”? What else the plot throws at you is a movie shoot about Bigfoot that is ongoing in the same woods, there are also activists against Amityville Chemical, and a few rando homeless people smoking weed. Once the creature escapes the cabin and there are more sinister things at play here Bigfoot begins his bloody rampage through the woods slaughtering all who cross him. This Bigfoot slasher (maybe?) also stars Eric Roberts, Trent Haaga, and the wonderful Tuesday Knight. I am not totally sure what exactly this entry had to do with Amityville but it was fun to see a movie that could be considered a Bigfoot slasher as I give it 2 stars.

Shakespeare’s Shitstorm (On Demand) – Only Troma could pull something off like this where a new drug has hit the shelves from “Big Pharma” called “Safespacia”: a pill for 18 to 30 year olds so they don’t feel an uncomfortable moment in their lives. They can see friends because it helps create a safe space around them. The story or parody is of Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” like only Lloyd can produce. A boatload of Big Pharma execs are shipwrecked onto the shore of Tromaville, New Jersey. From there they all go looking for help and find “Prospero’s Retreat” in an alley of Tromaville where they can continue their partying and evil ways. But little they know the club is run by a scientist named Prospero who was ousted many years before because he wasn’t in it for the money? Now it’s Prospero’s turn to get his revenge but will that change when his blind daughter falls in love with the big exec’s son? The film takes on all the recent issues of social justice, etc., etc., no stone goes unpunished in usual Troma fashion. As usual the film is perverse and fun but felt like about 60 minutes in or so the message was being beaten into you instead of entertaining you but I still liked the movie enough to give it 3 stars.

Flesh Games (DVD) – What looks like another ‘Jackass’ fan film goes in a little bit of a different direction? A small group of so-called no name stuntmen and comedians are getting the “band back together” to start filming some Jackass adventures again like they did some years before. Then they were teenagers like a lot of people who were influenced by Knoxville and crew but now they are border-line out of shape folks getting drunk and reliving the past while filming it. There is the grandma skit, terrible twister, Homerun derby, glass jaw, skateboarding accidents… you get the picture where this Indy film is going. What seems like just another Indy film being a copycat of the popular project “Magnum Opus: The Movie” from Addison Binek takes a dark odd twist of how far is too far about ¾’s the way through the film. Trying not to spoil it as it was kind of a small surprise for this just over 60 minute movie that I think Indy fans will embrace if they stick this out what it was really going for as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Can find it for purchase at:  https://srscinemastore.com/search?q=Flesh+Games

The Primevals (Full Moon) – A passion project from no other than David Allen under Charles Band’s Full Moon Pictures label that has been in some kind of production for decades. Sadly David Allen died in 1999 never seeing the project finished. As the story goes Allen who did the wonderful puppet effects in the first couple ‘Puppet Master’ films had been trying to get this project up and going for decades starting right after the film ‘Laserblast’. Not until the early 90s did Band have the funds for Allen to pull the production off but one thing after another happened causing this project to never being finished and talked about many Full Moon fans for years. But to Charles Band’s credit and some others getting involved in a recent crowd funding campaign the film was finished and restored so all of us fans get to see the fun stop-motion stuff that brings this picture to life! The story revolves around a discovered frozen Yeti and sent off to the U.S. for presentation to get everyone excited for such a creature. This event sparks an expedition to do research in the Himalayas to possibly find proof or another one of these creatures? Their adventure literally leads the group to another world where lizard people/things control the Yetis and rule in this possible alternate prehistoric world! The film comes off very family friendly but the real star is no doubt the stop motion effects of the Yeti and the lizard men that is just such a wonderful throwback to old school filmmaking that will thrill not just Full Moon fans but some cinema buffs too. Thank you to all who got this together for us movie fans to check out and thank you David Allen even though you didn’t get to see you finished product as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Blood, Guts and Sunshine 2: The History of Horror Made in Florida (DVD) – A sequel from Chris Woods who once again dives into the rich history of filmmaking in Florida. There are lots of stories and interviews with such legends Fred Olen Ray, J.R. Bookwalter, Sean Donohue, Chris Woods himself, along with a few well known online movie critics. The first entry dealt with a lot of recent Indy films that have been released and made there where this sequel explains the history of some of our favorite horror films being made there but how different parts of the state can be used for any part of the world for said film. I quite enjoyed also this documentary felt a little more polished than the first but the real gem might be Fred Olen Ray telling stories of how he sold his first film and his experiences early on in his career. Rather entertaining B-movie stuff that very few could pull off or even be done today. Entertaining as hell kids as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars and believe me you will learn something that you didn’t know from this doc. Soon to be available through www.gatorbladefilms.com   

Amityville Backpack (Tubi) – No, you haven’t lost your mind as this is entry #61 into this long running series that doesn’t surprise me what they do next but know I will be there to watch and keep track of. From the filmmaker behind the ‘Death Toilet’ series we get this entry where a possessed backpack is bought from a garage sale. (Sorry folks, the vibrator in the yard sale were the best concept) Anyhow, after a kid is murdered by the backpack (you got me paying attention right there) Luther buys the backpack at the garage sale believing it is the answer to all his woes of forgetting stuff? Doesn’t take long for the backpack to try killing Poopsie the cat and heading off to the pool for a beer before killing anyone in its path around Luther at the office. Or at least all the people who have this weird obsession of putting on a backpack? Also if that wasn’t enough the object knows how to shoot a gun and drive a car as over 80 minutes is too much. I believe this joke would have worked so much better as a twenty minute short but that is my opinion as I give it 1 ½ stars. Sometimes projects are better as short films, examples: Amityville Quilt Store and Amityville Outhouse.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #638

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Crocodile Swarm (DVD) – A group of thrill seekers head into an abandoned cave system to explore. But unknowingly they have disturbed a group of crocodiles using it for a nesting spot. Now some rescuers have come to help but there is good chance they will suffer the same fate as the crocs are pissed and sound like a herd of cats fighting at times. It is the usual corny killer animal fun that I will give 2 stars too.

Monster Grizzly (DVD) – A small snowy town where fracking has taken over as the residents are about to know the consequences of fracking as a pissed off grizzly has decided it has had enough! This grizzly is different, the grizzly is not killing for food, and it is literally slaughtering residents because it’s pissed.  Lots of time is wasted in the movie as cops search the mountains for the grizzly even with bloody messes to find everywhere but still can’t find it. Started off fun but gradually has a terrible dull finish as I give this flick 1 ½ stars.

Late Checkout (DVD) – Indy filmmaker Josh Graves goes and gives independent movie fans a slasher film which involves a group of friends renting a cabin for a weekend to hang out again. Doesn’t take long for the drama between the young friends to start as it distracts them from a welder’s mask killer showing up to slaughter them one by one? I felt like the movie has a tacked on ending but I would say this film comes off as a cautionary tale for the young people to not Air BnB the cabin you are going too in the woods. The ending may have felt forced but Josh made sure to give fans a straight up old school slasher as I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

Screature of the Lagoon (DVD) – A terribly conceived independent film that has locals screaming about a possible creature or something escaping a top secret military facility into the Canadian woods. Some so-called mercs are hired to track down the creature and possibly capture it? Think bootleg “Robowar” but without the fun corny vibe to it that you knew it was a clear “Predator” rip-off as give this 1 star.

The Last Amityville Movie (Tubi) – For those of you still counting with me this is entry #59 into the long running franchise. This entry is from Josh Spiegel who plays himself in the film and considered a content creator and belongs to a horror online group that just covered the last Amityville film “Amityville Zoo”. Another pandemic comes down the pike affecting the world including trapping Josh’s wife and child in his hometown of Pittsburgh, Pa. Unemployed and a bored Josh begins to document everything online for his content during this new pandemic. One day Josh receives at his door a mysterious package from Amityville and it’s a doorknob? He makes fun of it online but immediately strange things begin to happen to him in his home. As things get weird he commits to filming everything until he can figure things out. Josh even has contact with a professor who explains that the doorknob is a cursed object from the original dwelling. Now Josh who recently bashed the Amityville series online and after some advice from a filmmaker of several entries has decided to turn this footage into a movie to hopefully be rid of the curse of Amityville. There are a lot of hilarious moments with Josh working in the absurdness of this series including “Amityville Vibrator”! Josh is all about breaking the curse including being chased by a bootleg CHUD in an alternate Amityville world?! I quite enjoyed this piece of entertaining cinema as Mr. Spiegel like Steve Rudzinski’s “Amityville Christmas Vacation” understood from the beginning to not take it too seriously. But just like Nathan Rumler’s “Amityville Vibrator” and the just mentioned Rudzinski project use your mind to put a great twist on the series that viewers will actually enjoy watching instead of moaning halfway through they are watching another shitty entry! Spiegel’s entry is well-crafted and a fun watch for all who have put themselves through watching so many of these Amityville movies as I give it 3 ½ stars.  

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2024 vendor list

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Grossfest 2024 vendor list:

Neko Shark Films

Minerva Trinkets

Neens Soaps

Kiss of Death Productions

Scream Team Releasing

Addison Binek – Psycho Ape

Horror Movie Heaven

Barry the Movie Demon

Cluck Cluck Productions

Celebration of Spirits

13 Occult

Studio Arata

Video Nasty Productions

The Odd End

MMH Productions

Ultra Violent Magazine

Nostalgic Nightmare Productions

Once Upon a Killer

Mike Ancas

Fairly Dark Productions

BPO Films

Burgh Brats Krafty Kreations

Melissa Spezia

Josh Graves – Late Checkout

Drunken Yinzers Productions

Dazed and Disorderly

Vicious Creations

Cindys Creative Chaos

http://www.grossfest.com

Friday and Saturday August 2 and 3rd, 2024

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

Need to reserve a room: Hotel link to reserve a room for Grossfest 2024! https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/ET81E2

Tickets: $10 at the door for one day, $15 for both days for those who will be attending

Vendor and movie room hours:

Friday 4-10pm

Saturday 11-7pm

Grossfest 2024 guests

Sean Donohue

Sushii Xhyvette Holder

Jessa Flux

Kelsey Livengood

Matt Cannon… also appearing with Matt is Victor Butler who was the detective in Hexercise. 

Jorge Delarosa

Nathan Rumler

Rebecca Rinehart

Special guests

Dave Castiglione

Steve Rudzinski

Jennifer Nangle

Also let’s not forget ultra-talented, super horror movie fan, tattoo artist Angel O’Connor who will be doing tattoos at Grossfest both days!

Gross Movie Reviews #637

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Arena Wars (DVD) – Here is a fun sci-fi B-flick that is set in the future… 2045 to be exact that has appearances of some cool stars in Michael Madsen, Eric Roberts, and Robert Lasardo. The film revolves a streaming TV show called “Arena Wars”: Seven rooms, seven extreme murderers, with a group of death row prisoners being sent through without weapons to survive. If they make it through the violence of course they are promised freedom. If not it’s no big loss to the legal system since the inmates are on death row. Of course everyone from all walks of life watches the show but TV execs are very concern with ratings as they seem to be in a downslide. So why not make a hero for the people to get behind? In comes Luke Bender who is innocent and undercover but to the TV execs this doesn’t matter as they have access to all prisoner info for their TV show. What also doesn’t help the execs ultimate financial goal is their killers or ‘specially formulated soldiers’ formula may not be working any longer? The execs are all in on Bender but Bender is not all in on their idea as he and his group are gaining support as they move through the rooms. Many small and big Indy projects have tried this “The Running Man” formula and failed. ‘Arena Wars’ has found an entertaining and watchable way of presenting itself as to me it feels like Arnold’s “The Running Man” of course, mixed with the lesser known “Final Round” with Lorenzo Lamas, with a splash of the recent horror film “Haunt” which means some good bloodshed! Sounds like a great screwed up future to me so I’m in as I give this action filled flick 3 out of 4 stars.

The Villain (DVD) – Before we all knew our boy Arnold as Conan and The Terminator, he was known as the “Handsome Stranger” in this Hal Needham comedy about the Old West. Imagine “Hooper” and “Cannonball Run” set in the old west with a little less laughs? Kirk Douglas plays a bumbling bad guy (Cactus Jack) who after a botched bank robbery is thrown in jail but approached by the banker to screw someone over. From there it is pretty much a live action cartoon throughout. Actually thought Arnold did a great job just don’t think it was the right project for him at the time but that was proven with his other projects as I give this 2 stars.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (Theater) – It is exactly what you thought it was and what you were going to get. It’s the origin story of the Furiosa character from “Fury Road”. If you were a fan of the last Mad Max film you will mostly enjoy, if not then I suggest finding something else to watch instead of bitching about this project. George Miller and crew did almost everything right again in bringing the world of Mad Max to life again, almost…? I had to pick something and that would be as much I enjoy this character, the film itself, and this for selfish reasons, I need me some Max! The three second screen time was cool and satisfying but that is what I am always going to want from this franchise. Great film again and hopefully we get one more as I give this 3 ½ stars.

HeBGB TV (Blu-ray) – Wow, right out the gates this thing screams mid-90s Nick shows! This era is a little past my time but I was still able to appreciate what a great viewing pleasure of this project was. It begins with a rando package on a front doorstep picked up by siblings who were hoping it was pizza. This out of this world cable box once inside immediately hooks itself up and out comes “The Purple Guy” to explain and entertain the siblings. As The Purple Guy allows the siblings to watch the programming and advertisements we keep getting newsbreaks that the cable box is going everywhere and taking over the world. But the siblings in the end are not having what The Purple Guy is offering. The production and presentation of this project is just absolutely entertaining along with the young sibling characters giving this horror delight an innocence you don’t see often or pulled off correctly. Horror fans if you grew up in the 90s make a point to pick up a copy of this as these fantastic independent productions are rare as I give it 4 stars.

Verotika (DVD) – Well I finally decided it was time to see why some horror fans were calling this “the worst horror film” of all time as this was Glen Danzig’s first feature. After seeing his most recent one “Death Rider” and how weird some of that was this finally struck my curiosity? This anthology is broken down into three segments which the first is about a girl with eyeballs on her boobs and a giant spider dude who is screwing a hot babe! I am guessing Mr. Danzig is just a fan of Charles Band’s “Monsterbra” (remember those?) and what was it with the bad French accent? Anyhow the second segment is about a woman who likes to kill women to slice their faces off and display them. The last segment is about a countess who travels the countryside for beautiful women to bathe in their blood and enjoy the beheadings and bloodshed when she is done. The movie is neither good or bad, hell really felt like it doesn’t go anywhere but I will say I am glad I watched “Death Rider” first as I give this film 1 star.

The Dark (VHS/YouTube) – Stephen McHattie plays a scientist who gets into an incident with a cop played by Brion James concerning something mysterious living under a graveyard. Two years go by and McHattie’s character is still wanted as he shows back up in town again. This at the same time two graveyard workers uncovers the giant rat creature and its lair! The scientist of course thinks it is a link to the past as the cop just wants revenge for his partner to kill the creature. Think “Creature from the Black Lagoon” with a splash of “Lurking Fear” in this Canadian early 90s creature feature as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Twin Dragon Encounter (YouTube) – A Canadian mid-80s action mess about twin brothers knowing the art of ‘kung fu’, hell they even explain it in the opening scenes of the film about heroes in Hollywood. The main plot of the film concerns the twins taking their girlfriends on vacation only to be bothered by some Z-grade weekend warrior types. After the weekend warriors get their asses kick in slow motion a few times they decide to take action during their ‘war games’ to kidnap the girlfriends. This sets up more cheesy dialogue, more slow motion fighting, and action scenes that might make you piss yourself laughing as I give this entertaining movie  mess 2 stars and not for being good.

Omen (On Demand) – Sometimes I go out of my comfort zone of movies and watch non-horror or just strange crap. This international project falls into that territory as in this dramatic tale a man goes back to his home country to confront his mother and family even though they believed he had the ‘mark of the devil’ on him. In his culture you want the blessing of your parents when getting married or having kids but mainly this was last chance to reconnect before his twins are born. Not the usual stuff you will see me review but it was just interesting enough for me to watch something about a man being shunned by family because he was the ‘devil’ as I give this 2 ½ stars.

Boy Kills World (On Demand) – In an alternate world where a deaf boy has his mom and sister murdered by a dictator. After being found in the jungle a Shaman trains him from a boy to adult to be the perfect killing machine. The boy never forgets what drives him as he wants revenge in this chaotic world of dreamy weirdness. But you have to pay attention to the complete insane story because not all is what it seems as this feels like someone threw Peter Jackson’s “Dead Alive”, the over the top action film “Hardcore Henry”, and one of my favs “Raid the Redemption” into a blender! The final product is a wonderful wacky huge body count of an action film that I will be enjoying many times over as I give it 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Check out the review for “Arena Wars”

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Arena Wars (DVD) – Here is a fun sci-fi B-flick that is set in the future… 2045 to be exact that has appearances of some cool stars in Michael Madsen, Eric Roberts, and Robert Lasardo. The film revolves a streaming TV show called “Arena Wars”: Seven rooms, seven extreme murderers, with a group of death row prisoners being sent through without weapons to survive. If they make it through the violence of course they are promised freedom. If not it’s no big loss to the legal system since the inmates are on death row. Of course everyone from all walks of life watches the show but TV execs are very concern with ratings as they seem to be in a downslide. So why not make a hero for the people to get behind? In comes Luke Bender who is innocent and undercover but to the TV execs this doesn’t matter as they have access to all prisoner info for their TV show. What also doesn’t help the execs ultimate financial goal is their killers or ‘specially formulated soldiers’ formula may not be working any longer? The execs are all in on Bender but Bender is not all in on their idea as he and his group are gaining support as they move through the rooms. Many small and big Indy projects have tried this “The Running Man” formula and failed. ‘Arena Wars’ has found an entertaining and watchable way of presenting itself as to me it feels like Arnold’s “The Running Man” of course, mixed with the lesser known “Final Round” with Lorenzo Lamas, with a splash of the recent horror film “Haunt” which means some good bloodshed! Sounds like a great screwed up future to me so I’m in as I give this action filled flick 3 out of 4 stars.

Gross Movie Reviews #636

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Realm of Shadows (YouTube/DVD) – An anthology of sorts of the weird, the occult, or the abstract where four ladies sit around a Ouija board for evil reasons and the board tells stories as it supposedly opens an evil realm. All the segments are quick, interconnect, and the anthology unlike most gets out in less than 90 minutes. Along the way we even get an appearance from the legendary Tony Todd, and the wonderfully exciting Vernon Wells. I guess you could say the film goes more for playing on fear than trying for the sheer terror aspect? This film doesn’t come off as an anthology for the straight up die hard horror fan as much as the occasional movie viewer who looks to wet their horror appetite once or twice a year outside of Halloween with Tubi or Netflix. Having the two known celebs on the cover won’t hurt so for that I gotta give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Third Saturday in October Part V (Shudder) – The opening credits explain a little bit of what has gone on since the last Jack Harding killing spree as we see him disappear in 1979 at the end of the first film. But now the franchise has spawned a few successful sequels and this is the fourth one set in 1994. Harding terrorized Hackleburg, Alabama every year during the time 1979 to 1987 and of course the third Saturday of October then disappeared again. Harding has returned again to begin his killing spree, as the football rivalry continues so does Jack Harding. This entry is a straight up slasher in the sense of just piling up bodies more than adding to the mythos or bringing back characters that were fun to get to know during the first film. This entry isn’t at all terrible but not the follow up I wanted if that makes sense as I was expecting a continuation of characters and what not as this went the way of the  “Friday the 13th” sequels but maybe that was the plan from the beginning? Consider me a little disappointed but still a solid horror film as I can only give this 2 ½ stars.

Alien Seed (VHS/YouTube) – It’s 1990, we got Erik Estrada, and this low budget direct-to-video trash precursor to “The X-files” storyline… You have my attention! Lisa’s sister is having strange dreams and visions before her untimely death, now Lisa is feeling very different like something has happened to her more than losing a sister? Dr. Stone comes a sniffing around to continue his ‘evil work’ secretly along with an author, Mark Timmons, who now is very interested in Lisa as he believes Lisa and her sister were abducted by aliens. But what complicates things besides the government wanting to get involved is Lisa being prego with an alien baby that two ‘men in black’ that can only afford driving a black Ford Tempo are trying to track her down. If you are old enough to remember outside of the Ford Pinto of the 80s, the Ford Tempo was the next hot piece of garbage Ford tried selling to consumers. Speaking of hot garbage this movie is bad but a hilarious fun bad if you remember renting these direct-to-video cult classics as for the love of Rutger Hauer it stars Erik Estrada that alone gets you 2 stars.

The Last Vampire on Earth (DVD) – On what Lord Rutger Hauer’s green earth did someone think this ultra-low budget “Twilight” trash think this was a good idea? This is a story in 2010 about a vampire boy having a relationship with a Christian girl who just so happen to have AIDS. It’s dumb, it’s overdramatic, Preacher dad wants to kill said vamp, and oh yeah let’s not forget the two are doing a “Dracula” college play! Let me whip this DVD into the trash and set it on fire as consider yourself warned if you even dare to attempt this turd as I give it nothing!

TRET (DVD) – So independent filmmaker Matthew Diulus decided to delight horror fans with a tale of Halloween horror that runs a little over 17 minutes. This tale of terror deals with a person disrespecting another person’s Halloween decorations and candy bowl thus there is consequences for this action? Break the rules you must choose ‘Trick or Tret’? So if there is anything to take away from this delightful scare it’s always respect people’s Halloween stuff as this was a wisely casted, performed, and crafted Halloween horror short that I got to give 4 out of 4 stars.

Summer of Fear (Blu-ray) – A Wes Craven TV movie production from 1978 that stars Linda Blair as Rachel who gets a surprise for the summer as her cousin Julia moves in after the untimely death of her mum. As Julia settles in strange little things begin to happen that only Rachel is noticing including her boyfriend played by Jeff East being stolen away. Everyone else believes Rachel is just overreacting and needs to just go with the flow. But Rachel refuses and gets help from her professor friend down the road to help her prove Julia is into the witchcraft and using it for no good. It’s your typical TV movie horror but a fun look back at seeing Fran Drescher playing Linda Blair’s best friend. Also the movie was titled at one time “Stranger in Our House” and did pretty well in the ratings when it first aired as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (On Demand) – Round two of Kong and Godzilla has the titans living worlds apart. Kong is exploring Hollow Earth as Godzilla keeps Earth safe from giant creatures who show up to destroy cities. But Monarch goes exploring Hollow Earth after they are getting some strange signals and Godzilla seems to be powering up for something big? Kong and others discover another realm in Hallow Earth and become disturbed because the ancients tell a story of a Scar Kong that wants revenge and send the Earthly realm into darkness. Now Monarch must get Kong and Godzilla on the same side to go to war with this new threat. It is a big budget fun popcorn movie but I am to tell everyone I enjoyed it but it is such a far cry from greatness like “Godzilla Minus One” as that film has changed the landscape for the “Godzilla” franchise as I give this 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!