Tag Archives: Rob Zombie

Gross Movie Reviews #602

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Let Us In! (DVD) – Filmmaker Anthony E. Moran out of Michigan has put together this interesting 61 minute film that is not only his second feature but a movie that deals with “The beginning of the end”. From the start of the opening credits that give off “Prince of Darkness” vibes the Indy film goes for the throat of not pissing around for laughs where two strangers cross paths with a motorcycle club “Satan’s Keys” who are looking for revenge at a stash house. Instead both parties find something a lot more pressing, disgusting, and deadly as a radio broadcasts a hint of possible lethal agent being released in the residential area and people should “Shelter in place.” Without giving too much away this film is gory, a great story to tell, excellent use of locations, and knew exactly when to end it! Mr. Moran and crew look like they might have a finger on the pulse of what Indy fans are craving and for that I give this entertaining goofest 3 out of 4 stars.

Tough (YouTube/DVD) – Here is an intriguing 20 minute short film out of Australia from the Von Claude Brothers (Bernie and Butch) who give you a man who wants to be something he is not. Now, he cannot deal with the pain of it. This can be seen a few ways: a) a drug fueled night in the life of a young man, b) going for some kind of art film, or c) complete and utter chaos of being disgusting for disgusting sake or some kind of shock value? This isn’t my cup of tea but know fans of August Underground, American Guinea Pig series, and even Faces of Death would most likely eat this up as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Emperor of the North (DVD) – This flick is for all of our dads… If you are a person over 35 most likely your dad had seen and liked this flick. From the same guy that did “The Dirty Dozen” comes this depression era flick about a hobo trying to catch a train and not die. Set in 1933, hoboes riding trains living their best life possible. But you don’t ride ‘Engine 19’ as you are taking your own life into your hands until one hobo known as “A-No.1” takes on this train that is run by Shack who will kill just so no hobo can ride his train and live to tell about it. Amazing cast: Lee Marvin, Ernest Borgnine, Keith Carradine, Sid Haig, and a host of others star in this film about two legendary people in 1933 that know at some point they are going to face off. This is one of those completely off the beaten path movies away from horror but a great story that just sucks you in as I give it 3 stars.

The Swabian Sawmill Massacre (Blu-ray) – Yes kids check another one of the “massacre” list as I got a hold of this two parter no budget German film. Apparently after a dude has his morning coffee, playing with shitty looking dead bodies and pushing shit into his arm with a syringe our mystery killer decides to head to the local sawmill and start a murder spree. After his first kill like Jason Voorhees he finds the mask that will define him, “A large Condom”! But it isn’t a German film until someone shows their dick and someone gets pissed on? After killing everyone our killer overdoses setting up the second part while on the autopsy table he returns to the living to restart his killing spree. But first he must sew his condom mask up, put it on, and make sure he has even a bigger body count. Both movies come in together around sixty minutes and SOV fans might enjoy these as the German films from Madman Maru have this early 90s Polonia feel as I give this title 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Assault on Precinct 13 (Blu-ray) – Once again I was upgrading my physical media and picked up this ‘Steelbook edition’ just so I could have a wonderful copy of Carpenter’s masterpiece of a ‘siege’ flick. There isn’t much to say about this great project other than you will see it as a modern day western or one of the greatest siege flicks ever put together. The extras were a little slim on this edition but I still couldn’t help myself as has an old interview with Carpenter at a theater in the early 2000s, his commentary which could be new but have listened too on the laserdisc version?, but there is a couple new interviews with cast members that if you are a fan like myself will give you butterflies talking about the film four decades later! Anyhow, the Blu-ray is one of those worth picking up if you see it on sale and need an upgraded edition like I did. Besides the picture and the music isn’t going to get any better at this point as they have done everything to make it look crisp, clean, and sound perfect as I give it 4 stars.

Gay for Pray: The Erotic Adventures of Jesus Christ (Blu-ray) – Another project from Nathan Rumler and Rock Bottom Video as they have just released the Blu-ray version of this earlier film that includes the uncut version with the cut version together for the first time. I highly recommend getting this Blu-ray as the uncut is 20 minutes longer and was only released for a very short time a few years ago so this is a great investment if you are a fan of Rock Bottom Video. Nathan not only proves he knows what he is doing but crafts an amazing independent film (we will get back to that in a minute) that stars a wonderful array of independent acting talent that brings to life one of the funniest things I have ever watched. Our story begins with Jesus supposedly being thrown out of heaven without his powers because he is “GAY”! He happens to visit a home of Adam, Steve, and Eve dressed as a wizard who wants to grant wishes if you suck his dick. Yep, you read that correctly and this is how the film opens! After trying the wizard gig Jesus comes clean to the three as one hates him, one believes in him, and the other just wants to have sex with Jesus even if it means dressing as a man? But anyway since the three got nothing better to do they try to help Jesus get his powers back when he isn’t explaining how he made the bible more family friendly. They try everything to help: social media, making water to wine, encountering protests, even trying to walk on water to prove he is Jesus and he deserves his powers back. But the entire ordeal is not completed until the last ten minutes happen: Jesus, chainsaw, protesters, gore, while The Rainbow Connection song (done by another band) happens. This ending should be one of the more celebrated Indy endings to a movie ever! If you are easily offended please watch this wonderfully entertaining film… Why? Because Nathan’s film is more relevant now than when he produced it five years ago. The dialogue is well crafted; the characters and those who played them were perfect. This movie is going to make some uncomfortable but I dare you to pay attention to the script, again the dialogue as it might be one of the best written scripts ever in my opinion as Nathan predicted what humanity is going to be like? I totally believe he caught exactly how humanity has become one big asshole in the past couple years with this movie. I know there are some detractors of “Fangboner” and “Amityville Vibrator” but I dare you to watch and not like “Gay for Pray” and laugh. Because if you don’t like it or get it just do me the favor of quit watching movies and shut up! Nathan and crew deserve not just our respect but our support as Nathan Rumler and crew are constantly trying to find ways to entertain through independent cinema and thank them as I give this film 4 out of 4 stars.

10/31 Part III (Blu-ray) – Rocky Gray and a collection of other filmmakers are back to add to their anthology series that has become popular among independent horror fans. This anthology is a monster marathon hosted by Malvolia and has fake trailers with four tales of Halloween horror from Michael Ballif, Brad Twigg, Jacob Perrett, and Zane Hershberger. Now full disclosure yinz all know I seen Zane’s “Hack-in-the-box” last year and thought it was one of the best things I seen in 2022. So the other three had a lot to live up to and they did not disappoint. I am a huge fan of 10/31 series but always felt something was missing from the first two entries to make them complete if that makes sense? Well I can honestly say for me they got it right with this entry as all four stories fit together, fun to watch, and feels like this anthology is the best of the series and most likely will be one of my favorite films of 2023 as I give this entry 4 out of 4 stars. (P.S. the mummy entry made me have wonderful memories of the “Tales from the Darkside: The Movie” and thank you).

Infinity Pool (DVD) – So Brandon Croenberg likes his father is now making movies that are truly bizarre and most likely made before their time? And this is no different as author James Foster and his girlfriend are on vacation at an island where the richest of the rich go to a perfect fenced-in resort (the town nearby is crime riddled, poor, and they hate foreign people). James and Em become friends with this intriguing couple that has Mia Goth a part of it. And besides just meeting people and wanting to do something with them James becomes attracted to Mia’s character immediately. Once talked into leaving the resort to enjoy themselves that is where the film gets super weird and not sure I can even do this film justice explaining what you watch next? After the author runs a local down with a car authorities come the next day looking for them and we go down a rabbit hole of basically a process of cloning but you are able to watch yourself getting killed in a horrible way. If that wasn’t enough or confusing James is now a part of this group of people or zombies because of his life-altering experience and they up their violent tendencies. Eventually James has had enough and when it ends it will leave you hanging in thought of what did you actual watch. The film is crazy, bizarre, and by the end of it I found Mia Goth’s character super annoying. Not sure if this is my cup of tea kind of film as I may have to revisit this in five years to truly understand it but for now I give it 2 stars?

The Munsters (DVD/Remake/Prequel) – So let’s get this out of the way first: I was an “Addams Family” person but never a huge “Munsters” fan but also know there has been several failed reboots of the “Munsters” over the years. So saying that and following Rob Zombie’s career this film only made sense at this time for him. This version isn’t so much a retelling of what we already know but a prequel to the TV show and how Lily and Herman met and moved to America. The film dives into Grandpa not liking Herman and trying everything to stop the monster from taking his little vamp girl from him. The movie is more for the fans of the show as Zombie made sure to hit on all the highlights of stories Lily and Herman tell about their early romance. I believe Rob Zombie did a great job bringing this to life but I think the only problem is the movie will cater to a certain audience as others won’t get it and this film will be forgotten soon as I give the film 2 ½ stars.    

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #488

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Gross Movie Reviews #488

 

Commando Squad (DVD) – A Fred Olen Ray action flick from 1987 that has more names in it than it does action. An undercover cop Clint (Brian Thompson) is in Mexico trying to put a stop to a cocaine growing and processing plant run by an ex-cop (William Smith) who is trying to recruit Clint once he is captured. Of course William Smith’s partner in crime is played by Sid Haig wants Clint dead and stop wasting time. But Clint’s old partner Kat played by Kathy Shower has been sent in for the rescue as she sidekicks her way through the whole drug cartel! I am a huge Brian Thompson fan, William Smith was fun, and Sid Haig was the best part of the film but there wasn’t anything there plot wise. The film just drags for a very long time so I can only give it 2 stars if that?

 

The Devil’s Bride (DVD) – A late 60s flick starring Christopher Lee as this Duke who swore to look out for this young man named Simon. Even if Simon does not want help the Duke swore to help and protect him. During a surprise visit the Duke finds Simon wrapped up with Satanists and they are having a party as they are about to have their circle of 13. The British movie is craziness of The Duke vs. Black Magic that features blood, sacrifices, strange images, possible orgies, The Devil, and even The Angel of Death! And Christopher Lee is just a plain bad ass in this taking it all on in order to save Simon. Fun Satanist shit that I give 3 stars.

 

3 From Hell (Theater) – Rob Zombie’s latest picks up from the end of “The Devil’s Rejects” where the three have taken on 20 bullets a piece in their bodies and somehow survived. After a quick court process all three are convicted but questions are raised on what exactly they did and how much? They become legendary figures in the media and ten years pass by. During that time Captain Spaulding is executed for his crimes so cue ‘we need a new character’ Richard Brake comes in as Otis’ half-brother. When Baby is denied parole and Otis escapes prison the brothers come up with a plan to break Baby out. Once out the three head for Mexico for safety but once again they must fight for their lives against Luchador assassins. This all sounds great in theory but in my opinion without getting too much into it just because if you like it? Good for you I am glad but personally I just feel Rob Zombie should have left this one alone and moved on to a different project. The film isn’t bad or anything I just feel he should have left the “Devil’s Rejects” ending alone as I give the movie 1 ½ stars.

 

Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (Shudder/DVD) – So it is now ten years since the original horrific events of the hotel went down. It is October 2018 and the hotel is scheduled for demolition but some super rich dude (Russell Wynn) steps in last second and buys the hotel. He wants the hotel to host his haunting interactive show called ‘Insomnia’ which people loved in New York. So why move the show in the sticks? Well he would like everyone to believe no matter where this new haunting attraction is at people will find it and pay to get in. But we have seen the other two movies and know something is up immediately but you won’t quite know why until closer to the end of the film. With this event happening in the hotel a new host for ‘Morning Mysteries’ is there to document everything but just like any normal person she is very leery of going in the hotel. Again strange things begin to happen until it leads up to opening night and its then you learn why Wynn bought the hotel in the first place. Great wrap up story as I give the movie 3 stars.

Little Monsters (On Demand) – Another amazing horror film comes from Australia, big surprise there… The film begins innocently enough about a man who has relationship and job trouble. When he and his girlfriend break up after nine years this sends David to live with his older sister and five year old kid. Of course Uncle David tries to be the cool Uncle but is very unsure what it is like to act like in front of kids. After David meets the kid’s teacher Miss Caroline, David immediately falls in love so he volunteers for a field trip a farm with the class. Believing this will help him get closer to Miss Caroline. Meanwhile, a U.S. military top secret facility is host to Project: Regeneration is right next to Pleasant Valley Farm where the kids’ field trip is at. Project: Regeneration has broken containment and unbeknownst to David and the kids, Teddy McGiggles turns into a real asshole when the zombie apocalypse happens! Miss Caroline’s goal is to keep the kids safe at all costs in this hilarious and light-hearted zombie flick. This is an absolutely lovable rewatchable zombie film that will most likely make my top ten list of 2019 as I give it 4 stars.

 

The 7th Victim (DVD) – An early 40s flick that tackles satanic cults where a young woman named Mary leaves school to go looking for her sister Jacqueline. She arrives in New York to look for her sister only to find Jacqueline’s husband and a lot of stories about her. Mary reports her missing to the police but a private investigator takes a personal interest in the case. When they believe they have tracked her down the private dick gets stabbed to death. As Mary unravels the mystery it becomes clear the satanic cult Jacqueline got mixed up with wants her dead but Jacqueline has other plans. The movie is a little slow but a very interesting take on satanic cults at the time that plays out more like a drama than a horror film. Even though I am giving this only 2 stars I do highly recommend giving this film at least one watch to see something cinematically different for the early 40s.

Candy Corn (On Demand) – An all-star cast heads up this Halloween fright flick about a young man Jacob who is a little different from everyone else. A small group of people have hazed Jacob every year on Halloween and this was going to be no different as Jacob now worked for the Freakshow that has rolled into town. The four head to the Freakshow and meet Jacob out back and the hazing goes too far as they kill Jacob. This upsets the barker of the Freakshow Dr. Death and he performs a ritual that brings Jacob’s body back with a horrific mask on. Undead Jacob tracks down each person in the group and brutally murders them for revenge. This flick has some great gore shots but overall the movie seems disjointed and doesn’t exactly commit to the Jacob storyline as you wanting to know more about the Dr. Death character. Right or wrong the filmmaker may have left out some important scenes concerning this character. Enjoyed Courtney Gains and P.J. Soles characters but like most horror films Tony Todd’s character seemed wasted as he is so much more… Don’t get me wrong a good Halloween film to check out but not a great one as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Annabelle: Creation (DVD) – So just in case you needed to know how Annabelle came to be I have two words for “Pet Sematary”. Yes indeed sometime in the late 30s or early 40s a little girl gets destroyed by a truck and after the parents were praying to whoever would listen… Presto, changeo, killer ghost child is back ready to fuck people up! A dozen years pass by until a group of orphan girls are offered to live at the home. Of course one of them doesn’t listen and open the room where Annabelle was hanging out at and now she lurks around for scares. I wasn’t expecting much but enjoyed the jump scares and the creepiness it kept from “The Conjuring” films as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #410

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Gross Movie Reviews #410

 

Don’t Fuck in the Woods (DVD) – The poster looked bad ass, the premise sounded awesome, the title was perfect, and… the movie totally disappointed me. With the title you knew what was going to happen but the film introduces a slimy ass Ghoulie-looking creature that kills people having sex in the woods. This intrigued the shit out of me but as the film went along it failed to impress me of why or what this creature was there to begin with??? So some college kids head to the woods to hang with friends (Meg and Luke) to fuck and get drunk but that gets pushed to the side when they become worried that they cannot find their friends. More fucking, more violence, more cool looking creature but why is the creature there in the woods. No backstory folks! Yes tits are awesome, gore is awesome, but you added a fucking cool element: the creature, to this slasher storyline and falls limp. I believe this film could have been so much more in the right hands low budget or not and for that I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Beware the Slenderman (DVD) – A HBO documentary about an internet urban legend that affected three young teen girls’ lives. And apparently this is a thing that people are freaking out over even though it all started several years ago from an online Photoshop contest. It intrigues me and also proves to me: a) I am old and b) this younger generation is completely stupid and iPhones will be the death of us? But let’s get away from the old man talk as this interesting documentary show how two normal white bread girls went down the internet wormhole known as “The Slenderman”. Not only has it documented all the events leading up to the two girls trying to kill a friend for the Slenderman but the after effects among families, other friends, and so on. But for me being old it has several experts explaining how this can happen these days whether it’s from distant or non-existent parents to iPhones and iPads are addictive to this new generation may have no brains in their head. What doesn’t help as shown in the documentary as we become more disconnected these stories of the Slenderman are gaining steam more than the old school boogeyman, ghosts, etc., because it caters to today’s disenchanted youth. I am fucking old just typing that statement! But it is a really good and interesting documentary  that makes you want to follow what happens next with these two girls as they go through the court system convicted as adults… I give this intriguing documentary 4 stars.

 

The Purge: Election Year (DVD) – 18 years has passed since the original “Purge” happened and now a woman president candidate is making waves as she wants “The Purge” to be abolished! Now of course the inner rich government doesn’t want this to happen and the god fearing folks change some rules this time around to make it legal for government officials to be killed. All she got to do is survive the night and good chance she will be president. Intentional or not you can watch this film two ways: One, someone was really trying to make references to the current presidency in Donald Trump? Or two, just another violent thriller installment in the series just trying to keep up with the possible current trend in horror? Either way I still enjoyed the second film the most as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

Beaks the Movie (VHS) – The movie of many titles (Birds of Prey or Killer Birds) or I like to call it: the movie that starred the delicious Michelle Johnson in a film trying to beat the sequel of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” out for release. The film starts off great as we witness a hawk/eagle gouging out a dude’s eyeball out and going for his jugular on a hang glider. From there Michelle Johnson plays a reporter Vanessa Cartwright who is trying to get her big break. While covering a random bird attack she learns there have been several others. She heads to a small town in Spain where birds have attacked before years ago and on their way again to waste to the town for no reason at all. Outside of the bird attacks and the slow-mo scenes the film is pretty boring. But hey it was made in 1986 so I had to watch it at least once as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Underworld: Blood Wars (DVD) – Now that I have lost track of what is actually happening in these films about werewolves vs. vampires, Kate Beckinsale returns as Selene the Death Dealer. Apparently all monsters want her ass dead! Has no clue where her daughter is and now a werewolf with hybrid blood wants to find her daughter so he can become the master werewolf and wipe out all the vampires… Oh hold on Lycan, have to use the proper name. But anyhow Brother Noopsie aka Charles Dance shows up to help welcome Selene back into the vampire coven only for all to get fucked over again. Okay I got bored. Honestly people this series of films got lost in its own mythology after the first film. The first film is great and I still watch from time to time. But since they have felt like globs of shit thrown against the wall and it doesn’t help such films “30 Days of Night” and “Twilight” has been released since the story of Selene has unfolded. Sorry Kate you are a hot piece of ass but I am bored of the Death Dealer storyline as many other horror fans are also. If you are still into skin tight leather on Kate B, this is for you as I give it 1 star.

 

John Wick: Chapter 2 (DVD) – So Keenau Reeves is back the man no one wants to see as you are about to be dead. The film picks up right after the events of the first event where he is looking for the Russian that took his car. And John Wick dismantles the whole crew just on principal of getting the car back. Once done someone cashes in a chip that is a debt asking for John Wick to do a favor. This favor is because John Wick was able to leave the hitman business. Now that John Wick has been forced into doing this task he is fucked over and had enough and is done with rules. Again wasn’t overly impressed with the action film but still enjoyed it enough I wanna actually see more of this underworld as I give this sequel 2 ½ stars.

 

Suicide Squad (DVD) – DC’s mess of a film where some of Batman’s villains are gathered to be a hit squad to take down the Enchantress. She has gotten back with her brother to build some machine and tear the world a part. The government also wants an option to counterattack Superman or someone like Superman who threatens them? The movie is a mess but still an entertaining mess as they didn’t ruin Harley Quinn as much as I feared. DC take your time and stop rushing these projects out and again take a cue from what yinz are doing with the DC projects on TV. My hope for this film is that we do get a Harley Quinn and Joker film in the future as I give this film 2 stars.

 

The Bye Bye Man (DVD) – A paranormal film that takes a different route in telling a story as three college kids’ move into a house off campus. But the house has a history of where a man killed several people who may have been driven mad by a thing called “The Bye Bye Man”. The man researched this urban legend and was eventually driven mad because he started to believe and it was making him seeing things. Once moved in one of the kids read something written in an end table and strange things begin to happen to him and his two friends. He researches the words and finds out it is something called “The Bye Bye Man” that will continue to kill as long you say his name. It’s a little odd but worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Debt Collector (DVD) – A throwback mobster film made on a low budget about a debt collector Teddy Greene who believes doing things the old school way. He goes around collecting debts for his boss but when no one wants to pay Teddy is beating the shit out of hookers, pimps, and so on to get the money for his boss. But Mr. Stone is not happy with Greene’s tactics all through L.A. because people may no longer borrow money? Teddy growing more and more frustrated with life, ex-wife, and his boss goes to see an old friend for advice which he disregards until the latest debt collection is stolen. With all the independent horror movies that flood the internet and streaming sites it’s always nice to see a filmmaker take a stab at a different genre and do well with it. I really enjoyed this film for the mere fact that you really feel for the Teddy Greene character even when he makes a hooker suck his dick. Independent film fans will enjoy this quality flick as I give it 3 out 4 stars.

 

Tsunambee (DVD/Vimeo) – Been a while since I have watched a film that I want to unwatch but here it is. The film doesn’t know exactly what movie it wants to be (post-apocalyptic, killer bee, or just a Christian film hidden in a bad SyFy Channel copycat?) but of course fails on all levels. Apparently, giant killer bees are found and this sets off earthquakes and mass race riots in the streets of all the cities. A group of unlikely people set themselves up in a house on the countryside to try and figure out what is their next step but a lot talk faith gets in the way. The film goes from killer bees are attacking to people questioning faith. Unless the film is a bad sequel to “The Unholy” not many horror fans are going to pay attention to this garbage called a movie. Please stay away from this feature as I give 0 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

Bonejangles (DVD/Vimeo) – A low budget film where two bumbling small town cops Doug and Randy just happen to help catch a supernatural serial killer named ‘Mr. Bonejangles’. Now with the capture the serial killer needs to be transferred to Smith’s Grove Sanitarium. The cops will meet the sanitarium associates hallway in a small town of Argento where oh yeah just happens to be cursed by a witch. Every April 18th a witch’s curse makes zombies attack the town and kill all they can. The cops and Mr. Bonejangles arrive late into Argento and the chaos has begun. If that wasn’t enough Randy is originally left the town when his life was ruined by his high school bully who is seen as the small town hero. The only plan Randy can come up with is trying to lure Mr. Bonejangles into the witch’s lair to kill her to break the curse and hopefully kill the supernatural serial killer too. The structure of the film is fun, the characters are likable, there is lots of violence, Reggie Bannister shows up talking about having sex once, and most of all the film doesn’t take itself too serious which adds to how delighted I was with the end product. Wasn’t expecting much but glad this horror flick surprised me as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

31 (DVD) – Well Rob Zombie used Kickstarter to get his film made. Sorry dude you are worth many millions of dollars and no way you can tell me you couldn’t pitch this to Lionsgate and get it made? But this argument is for a different time as a group of individuals driving the long highway on Halloween 1976 are kidnapped by a group of people in old school prison outfits. They wake up only to know a couple of them were killed and now they are about to become part of a random 12 hour show to three rich people who bet on killers stalking them. Now the movie is nor good or bad to me as I felt like I have watched this film or some parts of it several times over the past two years? There have been several independent horror films that have told this story so maybe I was numb to the film concept? Outside of the “Halloween” films this Rob Zombie film may have underwhelmed me as I have wanted Rob Zombie to do a different horror project. Something out of his comfort zone that may not have similar characters to his other films? But hey he can do whatever he wants I just know this movie wasn’t good or bad it just exists but I will be waiting to hear what he does next as I give this feature 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #323

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Gross Movie Reviews #323

 

By Tim Gross

 

Syndrome (YouTube/DVD) – A short independent film written and directed by a cool young filmmaker Tim Novotny and it stars filmmaker Jim Roberts as the lead character (Nate). Nate is back from the war, depressed, crippled, you get the drift. Nate’s world is over but you as the viewer must decide is he dreaming? Already dead? Or is he a ghost now watching from afar? A cool short film that can make you think as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Kids

Kids Get Dead 2: The Kids Get Deader (Vimeo/DVD) – You know me I will watch sequels… Especially when I haven’t seen the first film! But Darkstar Entertainment has just released Michael Hall’s independent slasher sequel. Casey survived the first film and suffers like most “survivor girl” syndrome. She wants answers why? Who was trying to kill her and friends? And so on… But makes this slasher different is Casey learns of author Charles Carver. An author whose books that he writes comes true just like what happen to her before so Casey goes looking for Mr. Carver for answers. Soon the masked killer is back on his killing spree again and Casey soon finds herself with more questions than answers and is unsure if Carver’s killer can be killed? I have to give it to filmmaker Michael Hall intentional or not the film has a little “In the Mouth of Madness”, a little “Wes Craven’s New Nightmare”, and a dash of a supernatural horror film that adds up to not being just your typical straight up slasher flick. I enjoyed the little twist, the gore looked cool, the usual slasher film amount of boobs make this an interesting watch for slasher fans as I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find out more about it at www.darkstarentertainment.net .

 

Dragonslayer (DVD) – Its 1981 and it’s like a live action version of a Dungeons and Dragons story has come to life! And what makes this flick still cool to talk about is that after 30 years or so it still holds up as a great fantasy film. Virgins, dragons, sacrifices, I’m sold! Do yourself a favor and revisit this early 80s flick as I give it 3 ½ stars.

House

House of Oddities: The Story of the Atrocity Exhibition (Vimeo/DVD) – An amazing documentary that takes you on the journey of how a local Atrocity Exhibition got started and how some very different and passionate people make it happen. Independent filmmaker Brian Cottington lends his talents in filming this small group of artists that want to entertain people whether through art, theater, dance, etc. And give the mainstream something that isn’t looked at as your typical sideshow or freakshow but true art or freedom of expression. Cottington gives you an inside look of how a small group of artists came together from many walks of life and put together a show that not only has a loyal following but grows by the minute. A show that is very different from anything you have seen before and to keep people in attendance guessing they change the show every year. I believe this is a perfect documentary filmed by Brian Cottington for the mere fact this isn’t something I am into but after watching this has my full respect for what they do. Oddities they are not, artists they are and I am grateful for that and the people who were apart of this documentary. I give this wonderful film 4 out of 4 stars and can be seeked out at www.houseofodditiesmovie.com .

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Dry Bones (DVD) – Anytime a cool independent filmmaker such as Gregory Lamberson contacts you about a new flick you take notice… Especially when he was the dude that gave us the beautiful slime/gorefest “Slime City Massacre”! So when I got this screener I could not wait to sit down and watch a film that stars Debbie Rochon and Kevin Van Hat Trick aka Duane Smith aka just go watch “Basket Case” if you are not a nerd like I am. But anyway Lamberson’s latest is about a boy named Andrew who has a monster living under his bed and so frighten he is unsure that he can ever sleep again. Or it can be he is holding a piece of history in his hands (Fangoria #1, Godzilla cover) and knows how much it is worth? But anyway his dad (Bart) comes barging in because he cannot hear “Charlie’s Angels” and wants to put a beating upon Andrew but soon finds himself face to face with the hideous monster living under Andrew’s bed. Many years go by and Andrew now Drew has returned to town for the first time in years because his sister wants to sell their parents’ house. With nowhere to stay and needing to make repairs to the house before its sold Drew decides to move back to his original home thinking the monster is in his past. Drew was wrong! Soon Drew has strange dreams, all who enter are dying in a horrible manner, and the neighbors believe the home is haunted. A great independent horror film with cool practical monster effects and one of the best actresses ever as a Succubus… I want a sequel and I want Debbie Rochon in even more monster make-up because she makes it look so fun and awesome! All I got to say horror fans thank god for filmmakers like Gregory Lamberson as I give his new flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

After Dusk They Come (DVD) – Some rich people get shipwrecked on an island that just happens to have the offspring of Sasquatch and the cave creatures from “The Descent”. It’s worth wasting 80 or so minutes on as I give it 2 stars.

 

Things (DVD) – Possibly the most bizarre film I ever had the pleasure of watching. And that is saying a lot my friends. “Donnie Darko”… poop on you! “Fight Club”… go fuck yourself! “Eraserhead”… I’m still not sure? Just when I thought I seen all the warped mindfuck movies out there I come across Andrew Jordan’s ultra-fucking-weird no budget independent horror film that was shot on Super-8 in Canada and dubbed. Got your attention so far? Two friends go to a cabin in the middle of nowhere that just happens to be one of the fellows’ brother’s cabin. And his brother just had a weird dream about a naked woman in a basement with their monster baby and wakes up to his wife getting very sick. While the two dudes steal beer from the fridge Doug’s wife dies from a creature bursting out of her stomach that was an experiment from Dr. Lucas and now is multiplying throughout the house. Between the rambling nonsense called dialogue is a battle between these odd creatures and man in the ultimate bloodbath called, ‘survival’. And that is from what I can understand from watching this flick. I give this most bizarre flick 3 out of 4 stars for the mere fact I have never been so happy to own a movie!

 

Perished (YouTube) – A short film from SAR Films in the UK that is about a man who must decide suicide or figure out a way to outwit zombies that have him trapped inside a house. I give the flick 3 stars and really enjoyed the ending.

 

Halloween 2: H2 (DVD/remake) – Believe me if you ever talked to me about the first flick or read my review you understand why it took me so long to get over my anger to give this film a chance. And by the way I am still a little angry but I felt it enough time had pass to see what Rob Zombie did with the sequel and maybe figure out he doesn’t want a third film? The film begins in the hospital just like the original with Laurie and Annie in really bad shape. Laurie so worried about Annie goes to visit but of course Michael Myers is back to finish what he had started. Laurie wakes up in bed almost a year later living with Annie and Sheriff Brackett scarred, terrified, and dysfunctional. Meanwhile, Michael Myers has disappeared from the wrecked morgue van and hasn’t been seen. But Michael is seeing his dead mother and is told it is time to return to Haddonfield while Dr. Loomis is more of an asshole than the first film as he has written his next book all about the events of last Halloween. I enjoyed that Rob Zombie kept the characters evolving from the first film whether people liked it or not and paid homage to the original second film with the hospital scene. This movie has a grimier and gritty feel to it that the first film didn’t have and the gore keeps flowing. But also at the same time giving the drive to why Michael does what he does and why Laurie/Boo is so fucking screwed up. Am I happy there was a sequel let alone a remake, “HELL NO!” Did I get off my high horse and give this film a chance and glad I did, “YES I AM!” This sequel isn’t a horrible film and worth a watch if you are a hardcore fan of the original like me? It may have took two films for Rob Zombie to give us his full vision of Michael Myers good or bad but after watching this film and “Lords of Salem” I am grateful for Rob Zombie haunting Hollywood whether I agree or disagree with his movie choices and with that I give this film 2 stars.

 

Tony: London Serial Killer (DVD) – I haven’t seen a movie so boring since I pushed myself through the horrible feature “The Zombie Chronicles… in 3-D”. Next time I see this title come up I will just punch myself in the face and feel better that I did. I give it nothing as you should avoid it like the plague.

 

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You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews and Jagoff Massacre t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.