Tag Archives: Kevin Tenney

Gross Movie Reviews #545

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Gross Movie Reviews #545

Endangered Species (DVD) – One of horror’s favorite directors Kevin S. Tenney found some time to direct this clone of ‘I Come in Peace’ that stars Arnold Vosloo, Eric Roberts, and John Rhys-Davies. This film was also released in some countries under the title ‘Earth Alien’. Anyway, Sully the detective and others are working on a case where the killer likes to kill but collects victims that are deemed “perfect”. Thus said killer is known as “The Hunter” and Sully must team with “Warden” the good alien to bring this dude down before his killing spree goes global! It is like this 2002 release was a direct-to-video flick that got lost for a decade then showed when everyone forgot it exists as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Bigfoot (DVD) – A weirdo family flick directed by Kevin S. Tenney in 2009 that has one of the weirdest casts and plot that don’t seem to fit together. Richard Tyson and Angie Everhart are parents to a teenager named Percy who wants to impress the cute girl from school. An event presents itself for Percy to show up the school dropout/bully with the big truck that involves chasing Percy with the truck through the woods. Percy wrecks and the bully believes they (his sidekick and himself) have lost the kid so they turn back. Meanwhile, Percy knocked out gets rescued by Bigfoot who has left his dense forest where no one goes because of wildfires (or at least I think that is why). Percy and Bigfoot of course become friends, hangout together, and Percy at one point has to stand up to the bully with friends to save Bigfoot from the bully. The film is corny and hilariously interesting because it looks like someone from Tenney’s effects crew stole the Bigfoot costume from the ‘Harry and the Henderson’s’ film. This film is not a horror film by any means but a wonderful side trip worth watching for the mere weirdness this flick isn’t that old and never remember hearing about it as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Enemy Territory (DVD) – An Empire Pictures film I never knew existed that stars the likes of Tony Todd, Jan-Michael Vincent, and Ray Parker Jr. (yes, you heard me right). A white insurance dude is sent to the ghetto aka Lincoln Tower to get a signature on a big policy which translates into a huge commission for him. But whitey is in the wrong place at the wrong time because no one no matter what color a person is a gang called “Vampires” run the building! As the Vampires chase whitey through the building, whitey finds help from a telephone repair man who is a jack of all trades and believes this man needs saving. They work down level by level either to avoid the Vampires or find help from a willing resident. The film comes off like a campy siege movie that might not be as brutal as some movies of similar plot but still provides enough entertainment to pour through as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Martians Go Home (DVD) – A late 80s comedy… maybe, which has Randy Quaid as Mark Devereaux: writer and composer of music for commercials, films, TV shows, etc., but haven’t had that big break yet. After Mark heads to the cabin to work on his big time music and he is visited by a Martian as almost every other person on the planet at the same time. The Martians have shown up to create chaos in the world and in a short period they have done that. But what the Martians don’t anticipate is when Mark’s music is played backwards it sends the Martians home. If you enjoy some weird ass Randy Quaid stuff you have found your peak here as I give this feature 2 stars.

Pizza Girl Massacre (DVD) – I was so delighted to get my hands on this as it was one of the originals on my “Massacre list” that I have been trying to get a hold of to watch and review. Funny thing is this feature happens to be a found footage film about a documentary crew who were following a community theatre group who is rehearsing for their upcoming adaptation of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. After Jason the director has hit on all the women in the theatre group they decide it is better to rehearse at a cabin in the middle of the woods. The documentary crew of course follows and we get a lot of hilarious weirdness of Jason the director interacting with the rehearsals… But everything changes during the bonding trip when they order pizza and Jason refuses to pay the bill because he claims the pizza is late? Or simply because the odd looking young pizza girl isn’t responding to a shirtless Jason who is still trying to get his grove on with someone! This of course makes the pizza girl disappear only to come back angry, armed with a pizza cutter and then unleash her psycho energy on the actors in the cabin. Best way to describe this fun mess is if ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ was a found footage film with a pizza girl… Great job of this bloody mess as it was well worth seeking out as I give it 3 stars.

The Creation of the Humanoids (DVD) – A fun post-apocalyptic flick from the 60s where humans are going extinct but believe the robots they built are to blame. But we come to find out the robots are actually trying to help but cannot stop the extinction of humans. Most likely a drive-in favorite as it has that feel to it but for the love of Rutger Hauer stick around for the last ten minutes as the movie gets really heavy. It makes you really think about this plot as gets more interesting than ever has a right to be as I have to give this film 3 stars.

Zillafoot (DVD) – A new independent feature written and directed by Anthony Polonia who uses the Godzilla storyline as the backdrop of this story about Zillafoot. Aliens come to Earth to release a monster to terrorize the humans. As the Army struggles with the fact aliens do exist and now there is a giant monster on Earth that threatens all of human kind, scientists head to the woods to investigate. Bad CGI, dumb military, rubber suit monsters to set up a sequel, and aliens rubbing boob-like computer instruments way too much in this feature are the highlights as I don’t know if they are spoofing Godzilla or paying homage to Godzilla in some weird way. I have seen better from lesser known independent filmmakers as I only could give this difficult film to get through 1 star.

The Last House on Massacre Street (DVD) – Most people that seen this flick in the 70s would know it as ‘The Bride’ but for me I like this title so much more. Barbara is the only daughter of a very rich man who runs a highly successful firm where Barbara’s latest beau (David) works at. Father doesn’t like she is with David and warns her about him but knows Barbara is way old enough to make her own decisions as she has just built a house that fits her personality. Barbara and David quickly get married and David doesn’t even wait to after the wedding day to bang his old fling when Barbara walks in on them during the wedding party. After a scissors incident Barbara disappears for two weeks and then begins her torture of David and his mistress. But what makes this film weird and maybe even like a dreamlike state was Barbara and David dead after the scissors incident and she still haunts him in the afterlife??? Oh yeah kids this movie was surprisingly good even after all these years later as I give this feature 3 stars.

Straight Edge Kegger (Blu-ray) – There is a shitload of extras for those of you enjoy Jason Zink’s film. We are introduced to Brad as he is straight-edge! He hangs out with a group of friends who are of the same belief or what he once thought as he is becoming bored of the “Straight Edge” life. That he and his group are not making a difference and believe maybe it is time for a change. This change slowly happens when Brad becomes friends with a dude named Sean who is into the same music but drinks and smokes weed. Brad tries Sean’s way and begins hanging out with him on a regular basis to the dismay of his former straight edge friends. Then one night Brad goes to a house party and meets a cute young lady named Maybe and the couple connect quickly. But this happiness is short lived as Brad’s former group has decided to crash the party and explain their beliefs in a harsher manner… It is simple, brutal, screwed up, and I like it as I give this bad ass flick 3 ½ stars.

The Day the Earth Stopped (DVD) – C. Thomas Howell writes and directs an Asylum project that someone should have stopped him from making this mistake. Two aliens crash land on Earth and several evil robots show up all over the world and it’s up to a military man in C. Thomas Howell to explain humanity to a hot ass alien babe or the world dies! Apparently Judd Nelson needed a paycheck and stopped in this turd which still didn’t make this boring mess any better as I give it 0 stars.

A Cure for Wellness (DVD) – An odd flick where old rich people go to a magical castle in the Swiss Alps to be cured of something. So Lockhart a young man who just got promoted is tasked with finding his CEO Mr. Pembroke at this place and brings his ass back to New York to sign off on a huge merger. But Lockhart finds much more as there is something about a father/daughter incest plot and people living 200 years longer after a fire. Honestly the movie started off interesting but slowly got dull with not much payoff. Now, I stayed with it to the end but felt like there should have been so much more but that might just be me as I am also not a fan of ‘Hereditary’ but let’s not go back down that rabbit hole as I give this 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Four new episodes for your listening pleasures…

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This week Tim, Kyle and John return to discuss 3 more fine flicks.  Starting with a great comedy jam directed by Jackie Kong and starring the Unknown Comic in NIGHT PATROL. Then we continue on to cover a really great art/horror flick in MESSIAH OF EVIL.  And lastly we chat about an all-time video store jam in 1984’s MUTANT.   We also talk about shudder T.V. and Joe Bob Briggs conspiracies, Shitty Amazon practices, why every podcaster is always sick, and Kyle watches more quasi racist Clint Eastwood movies.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week Kyle, Tim and John return with 3 more genre flicks to talk about.  First we go to jail to meet John Vernon and his weird sexy time jail house in CHAINED HEAT. Then, John talks about another video store jammy jam in Kevin Tinney’s WITCHTRAP (wick Kyle may have watched Witchboard mistakenly watched). And lastly Tim picks a real turd in THE KILLINGS OF OUTPOST ZETA.  We also talk about how awesome Alice Cooper is, how shitty KISS is, and we also answer your questions and read some news too.  So download this show or Gene Simmons will set your wallet on fire.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This go around we reunite to cover all things Westeros in our annual GAME OF THRONES SEASON * Wrap up show.  And since Tim and John don’t watch (or care about) the greatest television show of our time Kyle has invited 2 sensible human beings to co-host the episode with him.  Those 2 dudes being T-Shirt Joe and Danno Klonowski.  So did the show end with a bang, or, did it go out with a whimper and shit the bed. You decide!  So, go and download this episode or you won’t get any tasty Varys BBQ.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we return from our respective graves to chat up 3 more genre films.  The first being an independent slasher in the wood flick with the always great Tiffany Shepis in AXEMAN.  Next we dive into the deep end of Bruce-sploitation and we see what happened when Bootleg Bruce Lee fights Popeye, The Godfather, Emmanuelle, Dracula, and all sorts of other kooky dudes in hell in THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN.  And lastly we chat about Jamie Lee Curtis in an all-time 80′ slasher jam in TERROR TRAIN.  We also talk about the absurdity of Avengers: Endgame.  Tim continues his search for Platypossum, and we also have a ne fascination with our new found podcast mascot Chinese Popeye.  So download this episode or no spinach for you!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Gross Movie Reviews #469

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Gross Movie Reviews #469

 

The Texas Roadside Massacre (DVD) – Five college kids roll through a small town called Blue Ridge. Karen and friends soon find themselves stranded after getting a hole in the fuel tank of their SUV. They are in for a fight of their lives as if they don’t they will become the next meal at the locally famous Blue Ridge BBQ restaurant. These days the movie can be found on DVD as “Roadside Massacre” as I give it 1 star.

 

Zombie Island Massacre (DVD) – Some stupid Americans on vacation take a cruise to an island where they witness a ceremony that brings the dead back to life. Of course most believe its fake but enough believe it was actually real. When they go back to the bus to leave they find it broken down and the guide missing. So they find themselves wandering through the jungle being picked off one by one by some zombie like creatures. A bit boring but still made it through for its laughable ending. The film’s composer is Harry Manfredini and you can possibly find this movie listed as “The Last Picnic” in some countries as I give it 1 star.

 

Witchtrap (DVD) – Kevin Tenney’s follow-up to “Witchboard” is this low budget film that stars Linnea Quigley and about a haunted mansion. Devon Lauder now owns the Avery mansion and wants to fix it up to be a bed and breakfast. But before that happens he hires paranormal experts to go investigate and make the home ‘safe’. Just to make sure nothing gets too rough a couple rent-a-cops are sent in with the team. The ghost that haunts the mansion wreaks havoc among the experts killing their miserable asses one by one. The film is nowhere near as good as “Witchboard” but has a wonderful shower kill scene involving Linnea Quigley as I give the film 2 stars.

Demons of the Night (DVD) – So Dan Komarek – filmmaker/independent horror fan has finally unleashed on the public a flick he made in 2008 with some friends. I like to believe the film was hidden somewhere in somebody’s dusty ass basement! The truth is somewhere along the way a lot of the original footage and sound were lost. But there is enough of a finished film to make some sense of what goes on…? A priest known as Father Richards shows up at Paul’s house to predict the devil or something is going to rise in six days on Halloween. Mr. Richards and Paul head to the woods known as Sword Valley searching for a graveyard. They get lost and separated and the priest encounters several weird ass people and creatures. Their main goal is to stop this from happening by any means. But just like many first independent projects there are many flaws. Dan the film is bad but I still felt entertained as it had a nostalgic feel to it while watching. The film felt like I stumbled upon an unfinished project from Jon McBride and the Polonia Brothers. Yes the sound issues did make the film very hard to follow but it was still fun and sometimes that is all you can ask for as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

 

Litost (DVD) – A very different independent film from Cody Rapp who comes out from the beginning to let you the viewer know the film was made without a script and budget on purpose. Even though no definition for the word ‘Litost’ is actually found in the dictionary the word is being defined as – is a state of agony and torment created by the sudden sight of one’s misery. We are introduced to the main character who says little throughout the film waking up in his bedroom. Every day he wakes, go to work, come back home, fights his illness. Rinse and repeat like most of us. Some public domain film footage from several films is used throughout the movie to move the story along. In the end to me at least it has that ‘art film’ feel to it as its expressing this character’s rage. Stay tuned until the end of the film to understand. I give it 2 out 4 stars for being more different than anything and most likely I am not the audience this film is aimed at but hey Mr. Rapp you did make a film so that is its own reward! I do have to mention I found one scene a little creepy when the main character eye balls the camera while forcing out his afternoon grumpy! And plus he didn’t wash his hands…

 

Massacre Mafia Style (Blu-ray) – A wonderful exploitation film that was written, produced, directed and starred in by Duke Mitchell as Mimi. Mimi is exiled to Italy at the age of 15 because of his father being a mafia boss who gets caught in the U.S. so he is exiled. Two years after his son is born and his wife dies of cancer Mimi wants to head back to the U.S. and take over all the bookies and hookers. Of course Mimi heads to Hollywood to do this and looks up an old friend to help him make this happen. Together the two guns down every pimp, bookie, and mafia person that gets in their way. He goes legit to make pornos among other things to not rein blood in the streets. After his best friend is killed he decides it is time to head back to Italy and settle. The film has over the top action and is the ADD version of “The Godfather”. Can’t sit for three hours to watch a mafia film then watch this as it gets it done in a little over 82 minutes as I give it 3 stars.

 

Hollywood Meat Cleaver Massacre (YouTube) – Mason and friends don’t agree with their college professor on his teachings. They believe it is all mumbo jumbo so they get drunk, drive to the professor’s house, and decide hey it’s cool to kill his whole family. But the professor does survive the attack and awakes to find out his family is dead so from his hospital bed conjures a demon! This demon kills the four college students one by one as the man lies in bed. The film is mostly known for Christopher Lee doing the narration before and after the film. But here was the kicker Mr. Lee was filmed by another producer in 1976 for a project that never happened and the footage was sold to the producers of thus said film. Mr. Lee supposedly lawyered up to take the producer to court but thought twice because of the time and money to get his name off the film… You can find the film grainy and in its glory on YouTube as I give it 1 ½ stars. This massacre title wasn’t horrible but wasn’t good either and you will most likely forget what you watched literally within hours of it.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019